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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 2 years ago

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Hi AJ. Shy anon here.

I was wondering if you could give me some advice.

I recently started working. It's part of the reason why I haven't been on Tumblr as much as before. The thing is that this isn't the first time I have gotten a job. I've worked for a couple of years before. But this time around the circumstances are very different. My family's financial situation is bad rn because an incident happened at our old home and we had to move to a brand new house. Plus the timing of this was just after my marriage so a lot of expenses had already gone into wedding stuff anyway. My husband has a job and he's had the same job with a steady income since even before we started dating. But he's the only one earning in the family. So we discussed the entire situation and decided that I would also start working again so that the entire pressure isn't just on him.

The issue is that every time I go to work I feel extremely guilty. My in laws are fully supportive and we discussed this with them before I found a job. But my mother in law is now taking care of the house by herself. And she's not exactly sick, touchwood. But I still feel horrible that she has to cook and clean and do everything herself now because I'm away at work. I try and do as much of the housework as I can when I'm at home, but it obviously won't be the same as before. She's also been really exhausted mentally because of everything that's happened and I'm usually the person she comes to to talk about things. Woh kehte hain na mann ka boaj halka karne. Waise vaale conversations. So I feel bad about leaving her alone in the house too.

The guilt is so bad to the point where I've spent nights sleepless and crying and apologizing to my husband for everything. Because I really do want to work and help him manage the house financially but I also really don't want to leave all the house responsibilities for maa to handle alone. My husband has been really patient and understanding and he's told me that he's perfectly fine with me not working if I feel guilty about leaving the house. But the thing is I would feel bad about quitting my job now too because I already committed to helping out my husband financially and I really do want to share that responsibility with him.

I'm reaching out to you incase you have some advice or even just some comforting words. I think it would really help me out.

I'm also really sorry for talking about my personal problems on your blog but it just felt easier to talk to you than to anyone irl because I can't find it in me to talk to my parents or relatives about this because idk it seems wrong somehow to discuss sasural ke problems with them. I feel like my sasural waale won't like it.

Thank you for reading the entire message. Please take care.

Bye 🥰

Dear Shy Anon,

Sending you the biggest hugs and care ok. Thank you for trusting me and opening up.

I will try to keep this brief yet constructive so I can offer some comfort as well as advice.

First of all life is about trade offs. That is when you decide something you have to adjust something else. It does not mean one is more important than the other, it just means that in life we all try to take the best decision possible.

What you are doing is EQUALLY AND EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Providing financially is the core of a household sustenance. Change is tough and you're worrying you're leaving important responsibilities behind but you also have to recognize that you have taken a NEW responsibility. While it's natural to feel worried over not doing your previous responsibilities, executing your new ones perfectly will also comfort and serve your family the way they need. You are being there for your family. It's like this, for breakfast you're now cooking pancakes and juice instead of paratha and dahi. It's a change, but ultimately you are giving breakfast to your family and keeping them fed. Bottom line, you are providing for your family and you need to have your courage with you *hugs*

TIME MANAGEMENT. Somethings are very important for you and your family. Such as spending time with aunty. So even though it's no more an hour long chat but ensure you're spending some time with her by scheduling a routine. Maybe you both have morning chai together. Maybe it's the evening chai. Maybe just before sleeping for the day you spend half an hour together. But ensure a daily time with aunty to ease your anxiety.

SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES. What is most important is to understand you won't be able to do everything you did before. If you expect to do everything or even half of what you did previous to your job, you will fall short on your expectations and be anxious about not doing enough. Just take up one responsibility. Maybe you're doing the morning tea. That's it. Or the night dishes. That's it. I know it does not feel enough but if there's one thing that you and your husband can do - then that's two things off aunty's list.

SAVE FOR HOUSEHELP. I do not know if you have a househelp or not but investing in a good househelp is necessary for the house to smoothly run and I'd definitely recommend saving for that. Share this plan with your husband. Aunty might say it's not at all necessary, lol, but still sit with her after a couple of months and you both select a househelp who will help aunty with major tasks like dusting, mopping, laundry and prepping ingredients.

FAMILY TIME. I understand family is an important aspect for you and small things matter a lot. Maybe every Saturday night it's the family eating dinner and watching a favorite film together. Or it's a small date night with you and Mr Shy Anon. The point of these moments is to try and bring in joy even during stressful times. Because life will always have stress in one way or the other and sustaining relationships even during the tough times matter.

All in all now you have a new responsibility Shy Anon, and by trying to incorporate the new changes while financially providing the best for your family means the most. Write on a wall what's your purpose for your family. That you're working towards a particular goal that is fulfilled with you and your husband working. Sometimes we lose sight as to why we take certain decisions with our fears, anxieties and sadness. But remind yourself every morning that there's a reason why you're working.

Your motivation, courage and happiness is the pillar of your family. When you're positive, so is your family. And please, always cry and let out your fears. Keep messaging me, crying to your husband, saying sorry to aunty to ease your heart when it hurts! And then smile brightly and go forward with purpose. It is so brave to do everything you can to support your family. And honestly I'm just sending big hugs to your whole family for they're all doing their best.

Cry it out my love and stride forward. We're all sending you the biggest positive hugs.

Much love,

AJ (also always check notes cause people leave sweet words in comments!)

#ask #shy anon #jalebi gives advice #sending hugs

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middlenameray · 2 years ago

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Honest Thoughts on Bros.

I figured this would be the case going into it, but I did not find the leads relatable at all. Their cynicism annoyed me, and not just because they’re cynical (I mean, it was released just last year - there’s PLENTY to be cynical about), but because these characters as written both are tapped into so much access and luxury and comforts and proximity to power that the average gay person does not have that I just find it hard to buy their “woe is me I’m just so emotionally unavailable” act. I could maybe take it if these guys were working class or even paycheck-to-paycheck middle class living with roommates, but their lack of economic struggle (one is a lawyer and the other the host of a podcast with a million subscribers while also serving as director of a brand new national LGBTQ museum) AND the fact that they’re both conventionally attractive with strong social support networks just makes their worldview and the decisions they make so off-putting.

With the obligatory apologetics about centering “cis white gay men” every half hour, the film feels like it’s apologizing for its own existence, but only in a wink-wink, nudge-nudge kind of way. It’s like it’s making fun of the “woke” audience it’s pretending to pay lip service to (multiple references to who threw the first brick at Stonewall come to mind). More on this later.

The film’s main contradiction is ultimately its undoing: it wants to be a romcom and an anti-romcom at the same time. It wants it both ways, but does a bad job of convincing us it deserves it. It heavily critiques gay hookup culture, but thinks gay marriage is an antiquated aspiration, BUT also disdains and pokes fun at open relationships and polyamory. Its feelings about love and commitment start off flippant and then just end up lukewarm. It resents “love is love” and heteronormativity but is BEGGING straight people to buy a ticket only to blame them for causing the film’s bombing at the box office. Straight people don’t exist anymore (“They had a good run.”) but there’s still people like Luke’s character’s mom who doesn’t believe 2nd graders should learn about gay history — oh but there’s also that really awesome progressive straight couple that talks casually about bottoming with Billy within a earshot of their kids! So is this movie made for “us” or “them?” Cus you can’t try to guilt [straight] romcom fans into turning out for this movie only to spit in their face when they get there. It’s kind of cruel…which has always been my gripe with Billy’s brand of humor to begin with.

So many of the jokes rely on super-timely cultural references/trending topics (fearing getting “cancelled”, namedropping the latest celebrities) that likely won’t mean much to anyone in 5 years. Unfortunately this is the case with most new comedies these days, especially ones targeted to marginalized audiences, so I won’t come down on this movie too hard for this. But the film is definitely at its best when the jokes are more evergreen and not trying so hard to be relevant (I LOL’d hard when 1) Billy’s character abruptly freaks out over a bee landing on him during one of their dates 2) Luke’s character’s brother says [in reference to how gym-obsessed gay men are], “What are you guys even training for? A war?”)

The sex scenes take quite an odd approach for a romcom. They aren’t touching or romantic, which is fine. They’re kind of trying to be funny, but not funny enough. And they’re not very sexy either, but it doesn’t seem they’re exactly trying to be sexy. It’s kind of like they’re poking fun at sex scenes and sex in general, and attempting to flip the expectation of on-screen sex on its head a bit, but they’re also trying *not* to do this *too* much as to not repulse straight people or offend gay people. The results are…clunky. At least to me anyway.

Speaking of the sex, it’s kind of surprising how little nudity there is in this film for an R-rated romcom. There’s one foursome with strategically placed heads and a coffee table to cover things up, but then the guys are all in their underwear in all the other sex scenes. No real eye candy anywhere save for some shirtless torsos at club and park scenes. No frontal nudity at all, not even a comical boner poking under the sheets a la American Pie/The White Lotus. Off-screen intercourse and ejaculations. I think we maybe see half of Billy’s bare butt in a nonsexual scene at one point, but I don’t recalling seeing anyone else’s. Just kind of odd for a movie that wants to market itself as the first theatrical major studio adult gay romcom or whatever, that’s working SO hard to normalize queer sexual DIALOGUE and preaches about not “toning it down” for straight people, how tame the actual gay erotic imagery is in comparison. But perhaps they knew the homophobic MPAA might give them a tough time with even an R rating if they tried to put any of the nudity that’s commonplace in raunchy straight comedies within a gay context.

As Guy Branum has tweeted about before, I will give Billy and the casting crew *some* credit for putting Black, Asian, Latino, trans, femme and fat characters in this film, and not making any of them the butt of terrible jokes and stereotypes. However, seeing folks like Madison and Miss Lawrence in this movie in the few scenes we get of them just made me wish THEY were the ones who were on the screen more. I want the movie told from their perspective. Also the film still glorifies fit and muscular white bodies at every turn and does nothing to celebrate any other aesthetic so it all just feels more obligatory than anything else or done to shield the film from the criticism that it knew it would get for being about two thin cis white men (as it tongue-in-cheek reminds us over and over). The film goes out of its way to be self-aware about and poke fun at all the toxic aspects of white gay culture, acknowledging and (like I said earlier) practically apologizing for it at times, but stops short of transforming that reflection into any kind of change. That scene with Luke’s character and the testosterone injections is the perfect embodiment of this.

ALL of this said, I did laugh quite a bit during this film, more than I thought I would, and actually rewinded a couple times to laugh at moments again. It’s worth a watch if you don’t mind all the above, but I don’t know that I’ll ever desire to see it again. So I’d have to give it a 6/10.

The reality is, this movie was always going to have a lackluster performance in theaters given that neither of the leads were box office draws to begin with. Even if we weren’t still dealing with “post-Covid” audiences being choosy about if and when they turn out to the theaters, I doubt the queer community is sizable enough to turn out in droves and single-handedly give a big budget major studio film the box office returns it needs to justify its investment (perhaps I’m underestimating us and if this movie were better it could’ve happened with word of mouth). But I will say, the film did itself no favors by half-catering to/half-sticking its middle finger up at the straight moviegoers it claims it needed to turn a profit. I hope we get more queer romcoms with nice budgets and wide releases but I also know there have been plenty of indie films with modest budgets distributed through companies like TLA for decades now and we’ll never stop doing it for ourselves if Hollywood gatekeepers decide they don’t want to take the risk again.

#bros #peacock #gay film #queer film #gay cinema #queer cinema #film review

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lvbcrne · 4 years ago

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is it even possible for me to watch / get into even just ONE series without wanting to make a muse for it anymore ???

#✧ · ❝ ┊「 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙳 」 ┈ 𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙻 ≫ ooc.#// literally every show lately i've watched i've wanted to make a muse for not even joking #// and now i wanna make a fem matt murdock wtf someone stop me #// this is horse shit #// i have all these characters living rent free in my mind and then i do the thing only to abandon it ... at this point i just need to NOT #// but it would be cool and a hella diff type of character for me #// idek about the marvel rp community yo like what's going on over there???#// is it on and popping????#// would anyone support my bad decisions... i mean my brand???#// who would even be a good fit ??? ugh no sammie stop #// help me

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coochiequeens · 2 years ago

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A male judge just awarded custody of a teenage girl to the rapist who attacked her mother when she was the same age as the girl is now.

A watchdog group in Louisiana has asked outside authorities to investigate a recent ruling by a judge that granted an accused rapist full custody of the daughter his accuser — who became pregnant when she was 16 and the father was 30 — birthed nine months later.

Court records obtained by PEOPLE confirm that Judge Jeffrey Cashe also ordered Crysta Abelseth, 32, to make monthly child support payments to John Barnes, the man she alleges raped her in late 2005.

Cashe awarded Barnes, 46, full custody of the girl on March 21, 2022, despite allegations made by a child that Barnes had been sexually, physically and verbally abusive. Those allegations were first brought to the state's Department of Children and Family Services by a school counselor. Barnes has not been charged with a crime in connection with those allegations.

"I just want my daughter home safe and my perpetrator out of our lives for good," Abelseth tells PEOPLE. "My quality of life has suffered tremendously and it has bankrupted me financially. It is my faith in God that has kept me strong for my daughter because this is truly more than anyone should ever have to endure."

The court documents, which were viewed by PEOPLE, include DNA test results, which confirm that Barnes is the biological father of Abelseth's daughter. Abelseth got pregnant when she was 16 and Barnes was 30, which means the encounter, even if consensual, would have amounted to statutory rape. In Louisiana in 2005, the age of consent was 17, as it is today.

According to WBRZ, the Metropolitan Crime Commission, a corruption watchdog group, has asked that an outside agency investigate the ruling.

Sean Cassidy, an attorney for the non-profit Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault, tells PEOPLE he finds Cashe's decision "awfully baffling," given the allegations. "I don't know how something like this happens," Cassidy says.

WBRZ reports that Barnes owns a web company called Gumbeaux Digital Branding that counts the Ponchatoula Police as a client. (Abelseth alleges Barnes raped her in Ponchatoula.)

"I have seen some bad decisions. I've seen some indifference by law enforcement. I've seen what looks like bias from some judges," Cassidy continues. "But I have never seen the father of a child born out of a rape not only be awarded custody and some sort of payment, but also, that person even seeking custody. It is not something you see."

We 'Absolutely Dropped the Ball,' Police Admit

In 2015, Abelseth filed a complaint with the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff's Office against Barnes, alleging he'd raped her on Dec. 13, 2005, after they'd both been drinking at a bar in Hammond, where Abelseth said she got in with a fake ID.

Abelseth told investigators Barnes had offered her a ride home. Instead, she said, he took her to his place in Ponchatoula. "I had woken up on the bathroom floor nude," Abelseth wrote in her statement, saying she was unable to give consent as she was unconscious during the encounter. Abelseth further alleges in her written statement Barnes had threatened to seek full custody of the girl, should she ever pursue criminal charges against him.

Barnes has never been charged with a crime.

Abelseth's 2015 complaint wasn't assigned to a detective until this year, the court records show. The Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff's Office in a statement acknowledged they did not properly investigate that allegation and said the case was turned over to prosecutors on Wednesday.

"In tracing this case back to the time the initial complaint was filed on July 1, 2015, it was discovered that the report never made it through the proper channels within the department to be assigned for investigation," reads the statement. "Therefore, our department absolutely dropped the ball, and we simply must own our mistake. This is a mistake, however, that simply has never been a problem before or since, and we must make sure to keep it that way."

Abelseth alleges in the filings that she didn't report the alleged rape for years because she thought victims had only 24 hours to go to the police after such crimes occurred. She ended up reporting the rape after learning the statute of limitations for rape was 30 years after the victim turns 18.

Custody Battle Began After Barnes Learned He Had Child

The custody battle began in 2011, after the girl turned 5, and Barnes learned he might have a child; Abelseth tells PEOPLE she has no idea how he discovered the daughter's existence. Barnes took Abelseth to court, and once paternity was established, Barnes sought and was awarded shared custody of the child, despite their ages at the time Abelseth became pregnant.

"I was under the impression I had no choice to let him be involved in my child's life," Abelseth tells PEOPLE. "He was threatening me. My attorney at the time knew he raped me and she didn't advise me of my rights."

According to documents obtained by PEOPLE, Barnes started paying $428 a month in support for the child in April 2013.

Judge Cashe took over the case in August 2015 — a month after Abelseth reported the rape to police, and several months after Barnes asked the court to find her in contempt for allegedly violating some of the terms of their custody agreement.

Six months later, a split-custody agreement was reached, and Abelseth was ordered to pay $78.41 to Barnes each month. That sum increased to $117.72 per month in 2017.

Abelseth requested that Barnes' custody be limited, but Cashe denied that motion. Months later, Barnes began filing motions seeking to have Abelseth held in contempt after giving the daughter a cell phone; in a previous decision, Cashe barred the girl from owning a phone.

On Feb. 2, 2022, Cashe found Abelseth in contempt over the phone, and she was ordered to pay $500. He again told the mother not to get the girl a phone.

Want to keep up with the latest crime coverage? Sign up for PEOPLE's free True Crime newsletter for breaking crime news, ongoing trial coverage and details of intriguing unsolved cases.

In a March 18, 2022, hearing before Cashe, a child's abuse accusations against Barnes were brought up, and Abelseth asked for full custody. But Cashe said criminal charges were never pursued against Barnes and that the evidence failed to support allegations he had abused a child.

Days later, Barnes filed for full custody, claiming Abelseth provided their daughter with a second phone. Cashe granted the request the same day. Abelseth tells PEOPLE the allegations made by Barnes she provided her daughter with a cell phone were "false."

Cashe did not respond to PEOPLE's repeated requests for comment. But on Wednesday, he filed a Reasons for Judgement, a document explaining his decisions in the case. In it, he says the allegations Barnes abused a child were only put forward by Abelseth after Barnes had asked to have her held in contempt.

Custody Trial Scheduled for July 15

Cassidy tells PEOPLE the judge should have realized the 2005 sexual encounter between Barnes and Ableson — consensual or not — amounted to statutory rape. He notes that state law bars men from having contact with any child that is the product of rape.

Barnes did not respond to requests for comment at press time. Neither did the Tangipahoa Parish District Attorney's Office or Gov. John Bel Edwards, who is the brother of Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff Daniel H. Edwards as well as Frank Millard Edwards, the chief of police in Independence, a town in Tangipahoa County.

The issue of the daughter's custody is set for trial on July 15, PEOPLE learns.

"This case is the ultimate example of a judicial system that has failed this rape victim and her daughter deplorably," says Stacie Triche, founder and executive director for the non-profit SAVE LIV35 Foundation, who is working with Abelseth on her case.

"I thank God for the trauma counselor who advised her of her rights to file charges against her perpetrator in 2015, because her attorney at that time failed to do so. She has been drug through the mud in this court system by her rapist for ten years. I cannot fathom how this mother was forced to not only hand her 5-year-old daughter over to the man who raped her, but also forced to pay him child support and legal fees by the same system that is supposed to protect her rights."

Adds Triche: "I pray justice is served and that child is brought home to her mother where she belongs — and the perpetrator is put behind bars where he belongs."

Abelseth tells PEOPLE she hopes her story "will encourage women going through similar situations to have hope and to not give up."

#lousiana #Statutory rape #john Barnes raped a minor #Litigational abuse #A judge barred a teenage girl in the custody of a rapist to not have a phone #Get judge Jeffrey Cashe off the bench #A rape victim lost custody of her daughter to her rapist and now has to pay him child support

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memekeymouse · 1 year ago

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I LIED I’m not normal about this at ALL and I’m gonna explain why

(Spoilers for Captain Lazerhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix)

So when the trailer dropped and people saw iconic Ubisoft mascot Rayman as the face for the ruling company with his face plastered everywhere, denouncing the “terrorists” fighting against capitalism, people instantly started coming up with theories and making comparisons between him and Mickey Mouse. For obvious reasons.

“Ohhhh he’s actually the evil mastermind CEO/criminal kingpin with an iron grip over the city” okay yeah fine i get it, fair enough

And then the show dropped and. My fucking god.

The comparison between CLH!Rayman and Mickey Mouse was even more fitting than I thought, and not in a way anyone expected. Yes, Rayman IS the face of Eden, from TV shows to movies to cartoons to adverts to videogames. He’s family friendly and approachable for kids. Everyone knows him and everybody loves him. He’s even got what is essentially his own version of the Mickey Mouse Club! He makes everything so much easier for the megacorporation controlling everything just by being charismatic and squeaky clean and safe.

But here’s the thing: his popularity doesn’t give him any real power. His influence is merely symbolic; he still has to answer to the ~Board of Directors~ who actually make the executive decisions. And the ONE time he goes out of line? The one time he loses his cool and drops an F-bomb on live TV (which was completely justified, because the other guy was being a racist prick), ruining his squeaky-clean persona?

He’s instantly replaced. The iconic mascot, face of a multimillionaire company— replaced for not going with the script.

And it gets worse! Because Rayman genuinely had NO idea things were that bad. He had no idea that the company that gave him everything, the company that he owes everything to, was using his likeness to do terrible things. He had no idea he had indirectly made things worse while he thought he was making them better. Because he genuinely cared, and he genuinely wanted to help.

And when he realizes this? When he realizes what the company has done, what it has done to him, what HE has done for them? To the children, in particular?

That breaks him. Oh God does it break him.

And you know what he does next?? Because he doesn’t take it. He comes close at first, before the truth comes out— but once it does, he SNAPS. He takes direct action to do what he knows is right and goes feral and shoots the execs that used him to death.

Now obviously the circumstances in CLH are much more extreme but god!!! GOD!!! This is exactly what i mean when i say you can make parodies with Mickey criticizing Disney without making him a capitalist bastard or a useless, naive wimp!!! This is what I mean when I say Mickey CAN be deep and interesting if you actually care about his character!!! This is what I mean when i say him being Disney’s mascot doesnt give him any power and in fact would take it away instead by reducing him to a faceless brand!!!!! This is what I mean when I say he would (and SHOULD) go insane and fight it all tooth and nail if he knew what they’d done to him, NOT support it!!!!

just watched captain lazerhawk: a blood dragon remix after people kept comparing rayman to mickey since they’re both the family-friendly faces of awful companies and i

#self reblog #mickey mouse #text #yadda yadda I’m cringe but I’m free you know the rest

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comfy-whumpee · 3 years ago

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Birdhouse: The Talks

Whumptober Day Two: Talking is Overrated. TW: dehumanisation, slavery, BBU, bad decisions in therapy.

@neuro-whump, @rosesareviolentlyread, @whumper-in-training, @mylifeisonthebookshelf

The new rescue was called Roman. Not by himself, but by whoever had taken the initiative to name their brand-new captive. He hadn’t yet told her who had give it to him, but he had assured her that he was still happy to be known by the name.

Sunita Kaur had been providing therapy to his those like him for years now, in varying capacities, and he was the newest addition to her caseload. She spent the Wednesday of her working week privately commissioned to support the residents of the Birdhouse Shelter, and with the fee its proprietor paid her, she was able to do the rest of her work completely pro bono. That was the way Avis Jacobitz worked. She paid you what she thought you were worth to her household.

Each new rescue came with new strengths and new challenges. Roman had escaped himself, which often gave them a head start, but not always. He was also in good physical condition, which made sense; the Birdhouse specialised in complex emotional needs more than physical ones. Not that any ex-pet came without their chronic pains and weak immune systems. Roman was prone to dizzy spells and took iron tablets daily.

He was sitting on the comfortable chair with his hands resting on his knees and his back straight. To be sitting on the chair in his first session was another strength. But then, not all ex-pets had been banned from furniture.

“My name is Sunita Kaur. I’m a trained practitioner of counselling for pet industry survivors.”

She didn’t miss the way Roman’s lips moved faintly to echo that term. Pet industry survivor. It was difficult to talk about those labels without reinforcing them, but she had settled on one eventually.

“That’s you, Roman. A survivor of the American organisations that attempt to brainwash and remake people.”

There was no sense of recognition in Roman’s eyes as he thought about that. He didn’t reply.

Sunita gave him a moment to think, and then offered, “How do you feel about that description?”

It’s several seconds, unmarked in their passing, before Roman ventures, “I like being called a rescue.”

“Can you tell me why?” Sunita asks, keeping all reaction clear from her expression. If she so much as twitches a nostril, an ex-pet will pick up on it.

Roman glances down shyly, smiling. “Because I was. There was a new cleaner and she called someone to help me, and now I’m here. I like thinking about her.”

Every word was delivered in the faintest whisper. Sunita was straining her ears.

“Why do you like thinking about her?”

His hands sit perfectly still on his unmoving knees. Only his expression changes. “Because she was nice. And she helped me even though she was a stranger, and I like knowing – strangers can help you.”

Sometimes she wondered at the ability of her patients to love people who had been cruel to them. Sometimes, it wasn’t even that. Sometimes, ex-pets loved people in general, through some innate hope and fortitude all their suffering had failed to tarnish.

She was going to enjoy working with Roman.

Florence never made eye contact. Their gaze drifted around her face and off again. They sat in the comfortable chair, leaning slightly against its side, long hair tumbling off one shoulder and an arm stretched out to show the curving line of their body in what had to be an uncomfortable position. They looked like an art piece. They played with their skirt. Sunita was used to this. Florence liked textures.

“I don’t mind,” they said. “Avis has lots of people to care for.”

Sunita nodded. It was something that Florence was already dealing with. Avis split her time with equity as her guiding principle, offering the right amount of support to everyone who needed it. Florence was used to their time with Avis waxing and waning depending on the needs of the others in the house.

‘To each according to their need’ was a powerful concept, unless one of your rescues was always desperate for attention.

Sunita hummed in acknowledgement. “So how do you feel about Roman getting lots of help?” They were the one who had brought it up, after all. There was something there.

Florence ran fingers up and down their silky turquoise skirt. Their gaze flittered across the window. “He’s funny. He acts different.”

“Different how?”

There were no birds in the sky, but Florence’s eyes moved as if there were. “He doesn’t have anyone he loves.”

“Of course I love them.” Kamala lifted her chin, hands folded on her lap, the picture of dignified confidence. The neat edge of her hijab was broken only by the lightning-bolt pin she had used on one side. She sat on the very edge of the chair. “The Birdhouse is like my family. We look after each other. That’s not particular to Florence. They just like spending time with me.”

Sunita nodded, showing that she was listening, but didn’t interrupt, hoping Kamala would keep going.

“It’s not wrong to give more time to someone who asks for it,” Kamala continued after a moment, smiling earnestly. “Florence is used to being the centre of attention. It makes them happy. And it makes me happy to help them.”

“We’ve touched on this before, Kamala. You derive a lot of happiness and fulfilment from what services you can offer others, how you can fill their needs. I think you know what I’d like you to think about.”

“My needs,” Kamala answered with a pretty smile. “I understand, Mrs Kaur. I took more time to myself this week, although it was hard. I reread some of the comics I got when I first came here, in my bedroom. I haven’t done that in a while.”

She spoke with perfectly believable sincerity, underlined with a hint of eager-to-please nervousness, of am I doing it right?

“That sounds positive, Kamala. How did that feel, to be spending time on yourself?”

“It’s hard, Mrs Kaur. I don’t like myself very much. But I know it’s what will help me in the long term, so I do my best. If you practice self-care, it will become second nature.”

Sunita was sure she had said those exact words to her before. “That is the goal.”

Tenten’s twitch was worse today, jerking his shoulder and running down his arm as he spoke. He didn’t make eye contact, but not in the way that Florence didn’t, always busy looking elsewhere. Tenten kept his eyes averted. His limbs were drawn close together, arms on his knees, as if he was unsure how to sit on something soft.

“I don’t, I don’t want-t t-to, to-to make anyone ss-sad. But I did, m-made her, upset-t, I t-t-t, t-t, I c-c-could see. She was.”

“That’s alright, Tenten. Take your time.” She kept her voice soft and soothing. “I’m not going to think any different of you. I will still be your therapist.”

Tenten made an uncertain noise, his shoulder jumping like a livewire. His foot tapped. “You, but you’re her c-c-counsellor too. I don’t want-t, I might, if I say somet-thing she didn’t want you t-to, to know.”

“I understand your concern. Remember, this is confidential. I will never use what you tell me in my sessions with the others.” She smiled kindly as his eyes flickered to her and away shyly. “But do remember that I talk to Avis before I start sessions, to make sure I’m aware of anything significant. I may already know about the conflict you’re thinking of.”

Tenten’s shoulders hunched, “C-c-con, conflict, huh?” he echoed. “What do you th-think it is?”

She made sure to smile gently. “I’d like you to tell me what happened in your own words.”

He swallowed, his throat bobbing under the maroon neckerchief he always wore. He took a breath. “Okay.”

“We’ve been here for forty minutes, Avis, and you still haven’t said a word about yourself.”

Avis leaned back in the armchair, frowning at the wall. “I know,” she admitted. “I know we always end up here. I start talking and it’s about how Roman’s settling in, or Florence’s new night terror, or Kamala and Tenten getting into another argument, or… Boo. Everything about Boo and their – situation. It’s just, I spend my whole life looking after those guys. Even when they’re doing something else, like Therapy Day or tutoring, there’s five of them now, so there’s always something.”

Dr Cerasale showed nothing but patient understanding. It was true, that this often formed the bulk of the sessions he held with Avis. It had been improving for a while, before she’d accepted the new rescue.

“And I know, I find fulfilment in my work, that’s not a bad thing, and some people live with different professional-personal balances. And for my kind of job, there’s not much distance between them. But…”

She stopped, still frowning at the wall.

“What is the downside of that?” he prompted her.

Dark eyes flashed his way. “Do you mean me not having any time to myself, or me seeing my son in every single one of them?”

All patients had their challenges. Avis had a unique living situation and a very unusual career path, but the underlying causes of her mindset were very normal.

“Let’s talk about guilt,” he said, and she broke eye contact.

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writer-panda · 4 years ago

Text

Hit on the groom and what became of it - chapter 1/I will keep missing you (if you don’t stop running)

Disclaimer: I don’t own DC or Miraculous. I’m just playing with some crazy concept.

Chapter 1 (here) -|- Next

-------------

Ladybug landed on top of the Eiffel tower with practiced grace. An agitated worry roiling in her chest about the message Chat Noir left her. The urgency was one thing, but he sounded… pained. Like the weight of the world dragged him down type pain.

Marinette knew Chat’s home life wasn’t perfect. Skilled at hiding it, maybe, but details leaked through the cracks. An offhand comment here, a muttered accusation there, a sour face yet again here. He lived in pain and tried so hard to work through it.

She tried to help him whenever she could, both as Ladybug and Marinette. She may not return his feelings, but she always listened. For months during their third year as heroes, she left food on the rooftop when Chat’s suit revealed too many ribs. She wasn’t sure the reason and didn’t dare to ask, lest she learned too much, but she did try to help. There were times she thought she imagined the pained looks, and thin frame, and thinly veiled comments; maybe overexaggerating the situation in her mind, as she often did. After all, he always acted so cheerfully.

Then, Lila happened.

The first strike landed swift, almost deadly, but she survived. It was what followed that made her reconsider. A prolonged fight, where Marinette chose to retain a cheerful mask to hide the pain. Along the line, she considered confiding in her parents. But what could they do? Maybe take her from school, but that would mean Lila already won; the Liar would rule unopposed.

Which left Adrien, her last bastion of friendship.

She still harbored a bit of a crush on him, but it was justified! Like a knight in shining armor, he stood, always ready to defend her. He always ensured her inclusion in class activities and saved her from several catastrophes.

She still stumbled over her words with him, but when it’s minor stuttering or not talking to anyone, she forced herself to adapt. It was nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

With the ability to spend more time with Adrien without acting like a spaz, Kagami also appeared more often, and proved to be a good friend. Marinette found a home with the two awkward rich kids ridiculously clueless and unaware of how the real world functioned. In the end, she even grew to accept Adrien might not be destined to be hers but chose to support him nonetheless.

“My lady?” She was broken out of her musing by a familiar voice.

“Hello, Kitty-cat. I got your message… what’s wrong?” She turned to see Cat Noir slumped over the railing, with his ears tweaking nervously. She didn’t even know he could do it.

“I… I’m sorry my Lady, but I can’t… I can’t continue to be your partner,” he declared.

“What?!” she squeaked. “What happened? What’s the matter?”

“I’m… I’m getting married,” he announced, his ears drooping and tail tucked between his legs.

Oh, that’s… not what she expected to hear. “Married? Congrat…” she drifted off, noticing his sour face. “Chat? What are you not telling me?”

“It’s… I… My…” He struggled to figure out how to say it, but ultimately remained silent for a moment. “There is nothing to be happy about. It’s a… business marriage,” he spat, his eyes narrowing.

“But… those are illegal!” Ladybug protested.

“Not when you make it look like a love match. Especially if you insinuate at a scandal.” He sneered, jumping off the railing and pacing along the empty rooftop. “My father holds all the cards and I… I’m in no position to oppose him.”

“I’m sure we can…”

He sighed, walking over to her. “Please… M’lady. Don’t try to give me hope. I accepted what I must do.” With that, he reached for the ring, but she stopped him.

“Chat. We can try… You’re my friend. You can’t… We will figure it out. Together.” In all they’d endured, suffered, and triumphed - Marinette had never seen him this despondent… this broken.

He sighed, his eyes flat and dull. “There is nothing to figure out,” he said, forcing the ring off his finger.

The transformation fell, leaving Adrien Agreste materialized in place of her long-time partner. Plagg’s sharp cry cut off, as he’s sucked into the ring the second he popped out of it. She stood there, too stunned to notice the blond boy pushed the ring into her palm and closed it.

Marinette wasn’t sure what thoughts decided to rampantly rage through her head, but the train of thoughts probably broke the collective speed limit everywhere in the world at the same time.

“M’lady?” Adrien’s soft voice brought her to earth when she was one step from panic.

“A-Adrien?” She choked on the word.

“You heard about me?” He looked dumbfounded. Ladybug, too shocked to say a word, gestured over to the building line. Even from so high and far away, his most recent billboard advertisement stood visible. “Ah… right.”

“Who… who’s the lucky girl?” Inside her mind, she wondered if Kagami right now faced a similar problem. It was the most logical…

“Lila Rossi,” Adrien admitted, his shoulders hunching.

Marinette.exe stopped working.

A moment passed.

Another.

“Um… M’Lady?” The boy tried to prod his ex-partner to respond by waving his hand in front of her face.

“That… that lying…” Ladybug saw red. This could not be happening.

Adrien nodded, the despondent look on his face growing worse every second.“My father deemed her a suitable heiress to the Gabriel brand… I tried to warn him she was a liar, but he… I think he actually admires her skill…” Tears built in his eyes, and Adrien covertly tried to wipe them away.

“Maybe… maybe you could… I don’t know!” she screamed in frustration. Marinette had several ideas about what Adrien could do, but none of them would help.

Running away would be a problem. Leaking the story to the press would lead to his home life growing even worse. After dealing with Gabriel Agreste’s parenting, she held no illusion Adrien could win a court battle. The rich too often got away with whatever they desired. She could try to sicc Uncle Jagged on the case… or maybe Clara Nightingale… Nadia Chamack would probably love the news-breaking story, but it would all put Adrien in danger. Who knows what would happen before they could obtain results or protection against Gabriel’s extensive reach.

Adrien sighed as if knowing exactly where her thoughts took her. Chat was no dummy, he probably scoured over his options more times than he could count. His resignation, the last resort in a long line of failed plans. “I appreciate you trying, but I already told you I accepted it. Just… take me down, please. I… I didn’t really plan the location well…” He let out a weak chuckle.

“Fine… I’m sorry kitty...” She grabbed hold of him and swung to the ground. Despondently she watched her best friend, her partner, walk away into the night; resigned to a life of suffering and isolation.

There must be something she could do, she thought. She closed a gloved fist around the ring. She was Ladybug, and if she put her mind to it, there was nothing she couldn't do.

-----------

A week later the press learned about the upcoming wedding. Adrien and Lila both left school for home-school. The press and the general public ate up the news story about star-crossed lovers that met in school and became inseparable. It didn’t help that the class kept commenting about how good they were for each other.

Marinette resisted an urge to gag whenever she caught the sound of the vicious lies and propaganda. She was asked for comment only once but chose to refuse. It didn’t earn her any popularity in class. Luckily, she convinced Nadia to stop a nasty side-story about her jealousy from being published.

No closer to a plan, she despondently continued to push through her life without her friend. She, unsurprisingly, hadn’t received a single text or call. Marinette didn’t blame Adrien; his position couldn’t be easy. A month after Adrien departed from her class, Marinette convinced her parents to also home-school her. Without a single friend, the school became a burden. Of course, her reasoning to her parents leaned into her focus on her fashion business. Which wasn’t untrue. It was starting to pick up.

The only upside to this whole debacle was near-lack of akuma attacks. It seemed Hawkmoth found a hobby. Maybe he wrote poems?

Nah. Not his style...

Two months after the announcement Marinette woke to surprise guests: Adrien, his father, and Lila knocked on the bakery’s doors. The bride-to-be in an especially sour mood, as much as she tried to hide it. Gabriel appeared to be devoid of any emotions, as usual.

She seated them on the couch and asked if they would like a drink. She didn’t bother to offer food, not wanting to waste good cake on the likes of Lila and Gabriel. Although, Adrien’s thin cheeks and haunted eyes made her regret the decision.

All of them declined the drink.

“Madame Marinette, I assume you have heard of the Wedding?” The capitalization clearly discernible in his voice.

“Yes… Yes sir!” she corrected herself. Trying desperately to mask her disgust behind a layer of nervousness. She couldn’t risk a glance at Adrien, even if this was the first time she’d seen him since that night on the roof. Making it through the meeting would be hard enough without watching him suffer.

“While initially, I planned to prepare the dress and suit myself, my son convinced me to give a chance to someone else to shine.” Clearly, whatever it was Adrien said, it didn’t include a polite request. “I have seen the dress you made for Rock Star Jagged Stone’s wedding, as well as the suit worn by Nadia Chamack.”

“They are designs I’m particularly proud of, sir.”

Play the part. Play the part. Don’t send him to the hospital. Papa and Maman would be disappointed. Well, Maman would probably join me…

Her homicidal train of thought ended as she forced a smile to appear on her face. Contrary to Lila’s stretched thin lips; Marinette’s smile shines bright and could’ve been mistaken for genuine.

“Indeed… I’ve come to commission you to design and make the gown and the suit for the sweet couple.” He announced like it was the highest honor, but there was an amount of bile in his words Marinette used to think was reserved only for Nino.

“I… I’m… I’m honored, sir!” She beamed. The excitement only half-forced. Her moral compass told her even entertaining the proposal was wrong, but at the same time, her brain furiously flitted crafting possibilities.

Gabriel nodded imperiously as if her acceptance merely added to a foregone conclusion. “Good. My assistant, Nathalie, will sort out the details. Lex Luthor agreed to pay for the pieces as his wedding gift, so do not be afraid to ask for full price.” He informed her t as if he believed she would give him a discount.

For a moment, a singular reckless moment, Marinette entertained the temptation to voice her thoughts about Gabriel being cheap.

She sighed, no, there would be another day for career suicide. The group rose to leave, and Marinette finally glanced at Adrien; his model-trained smile paper-thin. He caught her eyes, and if he radiated sadness two months ago, it didn’t hold a candle to the devastation swimming in his eyes. The exchange broke when Lila gripped a hand tight around his arm and dragged him to the door.

Gabriel handed her a card, and the group departed. Marinette collapsed onto the couch, the makings of a headache building in her skull.

This would be awful.

------------

A week later Marinette held a separate meeting, consisting of Nathalie, Lila, Lila’s mother, and Adrien’s aunt. And her, obviously.

She first asked what kind of dress Lila wanted.

Lila’s eyes lit up in an unholy glee; and she started talking.

And talking.

After the long and painstakingly thorough description, Marinette felt faint. Several reasons contributed to that, although the most prominent were the materials, the design, and the way she spoke. Obviously Lila had feelings, the kind likely to trigger an oncoming Auma attack if Hawkmoth hadn’t pranced off to who knows where, about Marinette designing her dress.

Marinette was happy Adrien’s aunt pointed out the request’s complete madness, but Lila’s mother waved it off, quick to declare only minor adjustments to the request would be needed.

In the end, Marinette presented several dozen designs, both hers and foreign to have a basis on which she could work. Lila, of course, chose the one that would be hardest to make.

“I’m sorry none of your designs were good, Marinette…” The liar cooed with faked sorrow. She hid a smirk the designer could clearly see.

The notion was born because it was a picture and not a sketch.

Marinette smirked, and rose from the couch, ignoring Lila’s irritated scowl at her non-reaction.

She liked it even less when the girl brought in the ready-made dress.

“I made it as the first design for Penny Rolling’s wedding, based on Uncle Jagged’s suggestions. I should’ve known Penny didn’t approve of his idea, but…” she waved it off.

Lila, now actively glaring at her, sat back on the couch. All of which was mistaken for amazement by the adults.

Marinette ignored the girl’s dramatics, it was the only way she’d survive this meeting intact. “Of course, there still needs to be several adjustments and personalizations. I will also need to order the amber you requested. And the platinum thread. And the white gold. And probably an industrial-grade 3-D printer… Is that covered by the expenses?” She looked at Nathalie, who nodded. “Great! I will need just a moment.”

The women watched as Marinette practically leaped at her notebook and added in adjustments to the sketch. Fifteen minutes later, when she presented a new design, impressing them all (sans Lila, obviously) with the flowing lines and intricate details. They praised her talent (even Natalie), and Marinette played the bashful young designer role to a tee. The liar kept glaring though. She couldn’t back away easily, since she already made a scene about wanting that specific dress. Marinette informed them beforehand she would need to know about her specific wishes before she made any adjustments.

The final design looked pretty much exactly what Lila wanted though, but she didn’t want to give her nemesis the satisfaction. Her entourage did enough of this.

Under the cover of being too emotional, they ended the meeting. Nathalie remained to finish the deal and sign the contract.

After all of them left, Marinette collapsed onto her chair. An hour later a notification from her bank came. She received the first half of the payment. When finished, the dress would officially be the most expensive wedding dress to date. Blessed be Lex Luthor and his deep pocket. She chuckled, remembering how much the billionaire got kidnapped because of his money.

Then, an idea shined in her head.

Oh.

Oh...

She took off her earrings and dismissed Tikki, promising she needed a quick chat with Plagg about a new potential holder. When Marinette put on the ring, the Kwami of destruction popped back into existence.

“So… figured out how to help my chosen?” he asked.

What Tikki didn’t know was when Marinette said she intended to discuss potential holders for Plagg, they really worked on a way to save Adrien. It was their secret since Tikki would most likely disapprove. They didn’t want to risk her disappointment in them. Not until they crafted a fleshed out full-proof plan.

She nodded. “I have an idea. Let’s hire someone to kidnap him!”

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Did they hit you on the head, pigtails?”

“No. But look, the problem is whatever we come up with, Adrien ends up blamed or we land ourselves in jail, right?” The Kwami nodded. “So… if we make sure it’s a very public kidnapping and he disappears, we can stash him away until the heat dies down. After we dye his hair and apply fast-tan, he will look different enough no one will connect the two. I’m pretty sure I could get my hands on fake documents if I tried hard enough…” she trailed off thinking of all the minutiae to coordinate to pull this off.

It would be hard.

But it would be worth it.

Plagg slowly nods. “Okay… Somehow, that both makes no sense and seems perfectly legitimate. It’s also your most chaotic plan to date, Pigtails. Let’s do it!” The Kwami cheered, happy to be soon reunited with his chosen kitten. “But what about the costs!”

Marinette already had an answer in mind for that question. “Even after I subtract the costs of materials and other supplies, the payment for the dress, together with my savings, will be more than enough. Now… let’s go wake Tikki up.”

That… ended with the Kwami of Creation vomiting a pile of handcuffs and other police gear at Marinette.

“Um… Why?”

The little red Kwammi placed her paws on her hips. “Because you should familiarize yourself with those if you plan on going to prison for that plan. It’s no longer just a phone theft, Marinette! You’re talking about breaking more laws than I can count!” She dropped to the pillow below, bemoaning about where she went wrong.

Marinette scooped up her wayward friend and tried to reassure her. “I just need to be careful. I’m pretty sure I can do it without detection. Maman taught me how to not be seen on the internet. Or in general. Come on. I need to order a secure laptop.”

“I will help!” Plagg offered. “I can cataclysm the internet after you do your thing.”

“What?! No! Think of the cute cat pictures!” Marinette protested. “And video games.”

“Relax! It’ll just remove any trace of you doing anything online in the several hours or so…” He calmed her.

Tikki trailed after them, a bundle of nerves and worry. “Plagg! It’s irresponsible! You can’t possibly…”

“Pigtails and I have it all under control. What’s the worst that could happen?”

---------

Turns out, a lot.

Before Marinette put out the hit (kidnapping, she made sure that it was plain as day), she needed to set a price. That one was harder. It wasn’t like you could Google how much you needed to charge to kidnap a celebrity. At least, not without attracting a lot of unwanted attention.

She asked her mother, under the guise of pure curiosity. It was a normal question any teenage girl asked her mother. How much does it cost to have someone killed, how much cheaper/more expensive a kidnapping is, how to acquire fake documents, that kind of stuff. Not suspicious at all.

So absorbed in her rant, she missed a merry glint in Sabine’s eyes. She also didn’t question how her Maman knew those prices.

Finally, she needed to fill the form.

Assignment: Acquisition and Delivery

Asset(s): Adrien Athanase Agreste

Value:

Here, Marinette paused.

Her mom gave her a lengthy lecture about pricing and all. According to her, a professional would take up to fifty thousand dollars for kidnapping and bringing the target to her. Marinette decided, since Adrien was a celebrity, she should double the price. More risks involved, more reward, right?

But, she also wanted to ensure she hired the best of the best. Compare her work to Gabriel Agreste’s, she came to the conclusion ten times the price was reasonable to ensure only the best in the field would take the job.

Then, there was the matter of safety and so on and so on. By the end, she settled on two million dollars, as her asking price for one Adrien Agreste. Plagg sagely nodded, agreeing with her assessment. Tikki didn’t comment, as she wasn’t speaking to the two, but also seemed more accepting after spying on Adrien and Lila’s home life. Not that she revealed that tidbit to either of them, lest they drop the plan and directly go at Gabe and the Liar.

After a few more details and boxes in the form Marinette filled until she came to the end. Only one more detail remained:

Sponsor:

Marinette stared at the word for a moment. After a quick race of thoughts, she typed slowly.

Sponsor: The Seamstress

Perfect. Nothing about this could go wrong.

Of course, how could she predict just how big of a mess she would make?

----------

#maribat #marinette dupain cheng #BAMF Marinette #adrien agreste #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #mlb #mlb x dc #dc #DC comics

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firelxdykatara · 3 years ago

Note

You’re doing a LoK rewrite, correct? Would be really interested in hearing how you plan on fixing Suyin’s character and the Lin-Suyin conflict because……. oh boy. Man there’s a lot to unpack there. This is what happens when we don’t let Toph just raise her fucking kids for the sake of pushing a stupid as hell narrative about working women and single motherhood.

I am indeed!

In... you know, the way I'm doing most of my big potential projects, in that I have a folder with some documents that have plot notes and... some day I may actually get full, finished fics out of them (h2o AU is in there, as is my voltron!atla fusion AU, and uhhhh my book 3 atla rewrite, and a few other things), so... but I will say that the docs I have for my LoK rewrite so far amount to roughly 4.2k words of just Plot and Character Notes, which may some day turn into words of Story, hopefully.

ANYWAY, POINT IS: yes, this exists, and I have Many Many Thoughts.

Including how the Gaang kids would shake out! Cause I know I'm doing Zutara, and maybe Tokka???? Although I don't wanna just leave Suki out either... maybe a throuple??? Or Sukka having an amicable breakup before Sokka and Toph get together--maybe she already has Lin by then, and Sokka helps support her through the grief of losing Kanto???? Idk honestly, I haven't actually figured any of that out definitively yet except that Aang was perfectly happy to settle down with an Air Acolyte from one of the rebuilt temples because he grew up and out of his crush on Katara pretty easily once he hit puberty and matured a bit.

UHHH none of which is actually an answer to your question, because it's a valid one! Which is why I've been sitting on this a while (10 days I'm so sorry) bc I haven't made any solid decisions but I've been letting it percolate around my head a bit. And the more I think about it, the more I really like the Sukka -> Tokka idea (and I don't want to kill off Suki since the kids all deserve their awesome Kyoshi warrior auntie in their lives, and also I want a Sukka kid to be besties with Iara [zuko and katara's youngest] so maybe she gets with someone else after she and Sokka split? I could be talked into Ty Lee/Suki actually, the more I think about it....), but obviously having a stable father figure and a Toph who is... not what LoK made her out to be will dramatically change the Beifong family dynamic.

That said, I think I actually have a solution. (I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do.) Toph has Lin with Kanto--and he passes away when Lin is two or three, which is why she has very few memories of her father. (Although none of this 'she doesn't even know his name until she's 50+ cause Toph didn't tell her daughters about their fathers' bullshit.) Sokka is there for her through it all (all of the gaang is, of course, but you know that it sometimes just hits different when it's someone you're also starting to fall in love with, especially when there are older and much more deeply buried feelings there that are now resurfacing, because at least in my version Toph was deeply in love with Sokka when they were teenagers, but he was in love with Suki and she also loved Suki so she didn't want to mess up anything about their family or the group dynamics by making her feelings anyone else's problem), they fall in love, get married and have Suyin.

(Sokka may jokingly refer to it as a shotgun wedding, but the truth is he wanted to propose well before he found out she was pregnant, his attempts just kept getting messed up in increasingly comedic fashion.)

Throughout all of this, Republic City has been established, Sokka is Chancellor, Toph is something of a defacto police chief--mostly because, at the time, no one else was willing to volunteer, and she jokingly offered to whip the law enforcement, but unfortunately everyone else at the meeting took her seriously. However, she is also the founder of the probending league, and basically her feelings about law enforcement are complicated and she actively discouraged her kids from joining the force which is part of why Lin did. How else do you have a teen rebel phase with a parent like Toph? (Which, in this instance, means tough and firm but fair, with a 'you break it, it's up to you to fix it' attitude and very little desire to actually control her daughters and their behavior.)

Ah, but here's the rub.

Suyin is ten years old when Sokka dies, and Lin is sixteen. I'm not sure how he's killed--maybe by Yakone, to tie it into my plans for Amon and book 1. (Note that I'm not sure when the Yakone bloodbending trial happened in canon, but it doesn't matter. The timeline I'm gonna build will be completely different post-comet, and I'll eventually write it all down so that I can keep things straight.) Which would incidentally provide excellent means of having Katara have a very personal stake in the Amon conflict, and perhaps color the fight between him and Iara, but I'm getting off track. And I think Sokka being killed by Yakone, and Toph being unable to protect or save him, or deliver her own brand of justice to avenge him (because Aang is there to stop her and.... shit probably got ugly, I suspect she didn't talk to Aang for at least twenty years after Sokka's death--and this isn't to say I think Toph is particularly violent or murderous, but in that moment, she absolutely wanted to kill the man with her bare hands, and however much she may have regretted it afterwards, she took a very long time to forgive Aang for stopping her in the first place), is what results in Toph stepping down as police chief.

She didn't withdraw from her daughters or fuck off into the swamp or anything (words cannot express how much I hate that part of her canon history), but she did grieve for a very long time. Lin, meanwhile, felt like it was up to her to keep her family together, while also feeling a desperate need to... prove herself, I think. And because her mother was so adamant that she not join the police force, that's exactly what she does. I think Lin completely misread Toph's intentions, too, and believed that the discouragement was because her mother didn't think she had what it takes, when in reality I think Toph was scared of Lin losing herself in the job like she herself had begun to, and eventually coming up on something she couldn't change or fix and making the same mistakes she had.

(I think Toph and Lin have communication issues largely because they are both headstrong and willful, but where Toph thought she was giving her daughters the room they would need to make their own way, what Lin desperately craved was direction and she felt like that was something her mother simply couldn't understand.)

Suyin, on the other hand, fell in with a bad crowd like in canon. I think that what she desperately needed was attention, similar to Lin craving direction, and Toph was trying so hard not to be her own parents that she went a little too far in the other direction and Suyin began to feel like it didn't matter what she did, her mom wouldn't care, or get angry, or discipline her, or anything. Lin and Suyin butted heads a lot growing up, too, especially after Sokka's death, because Lin tried to rein in her sister's behavior and this was met with resistance and derision because Suyin felt like Lin was trying to be both mom and dad and she was neither but her big sister would never admit to being just as lost as she was and it made her furious.

So when Suyin is sixteen, and Lin is twenty-two and new to the force, The Big Rift happens. Lin catches Suyin and her gang, tries to apprehend her, gets a scar on her face in the ensuing conflict. But instead of abusing her power and sending her problem child off to her mother before fucking off to the swamp to avoid the consequences of her actions, Toph tries to actually fix things. Suyin cools her heels in prison for a while, because she was paralyzed by guilt at the time when she hurt her sister (a few inches lower and she could have slit her throat), and was still there when Lin's backup arrived.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh..... I'm so sorry I rambled for so long, BUT THE UPSHOT IS: I think Suyin learned a bit about culpability and taking responsibility for her own actions, Toph realized that her daughters had different needs than she did at their age (and I think a lot of the problem was that grief clouded her own ability to connect with her daughters, and in trying to not be her own parents she lost sight of how to be the parent her own daughters needed), and Lin, I think, had to realize that she had never fully processed the loss of not one but two fathers and had turned to her job in order to avoid actually confronting the grief that had overshadowed her childhood.

However, she did not forgive Suyin, at least not right away--and she wasn't forced or expected to. Suyin understood that she crossed a serious line, she took her lumps and did her time, and no one shamed Lin for her anger. I think, as a result, she had less reason to hold onto that bitterness, and perhaps by the time the story actually begins, she and Suyin are on much better terms, though I haven't worked it out exactly yet.

UHHH yeah I went on for days lmao. All of this is subject to change, too, depending on the needs of the story whenever I get around to actually writing it all down, BUT these are my initial thoughts, at least.

#atla #lin beifong #toph beifong #suyin beifong #tokka #lok rewrite #lok rewrite notes #precious-metal-girl #asked

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writingsweetroll · 3 years ago

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**Summary: Louis has worries for his one year old, and Clementine soothes them by opening up about her own issues.**

Louis tried his best to not toss and turn, he really hated these beds. They were so springy, you do anything on it, so much as lay a hand on the mattress and it would make a springy noise. The noise wouldn’t annoy him as much if Clementine wasn’t laying beside him, he quickly found out she was a very light sleeper. It broke his heart that she wasn’t born a light sleeper, she just adapted to being one due to all of the trauma she faced. He wanted to make sure she got as much sleep as she could- so tossing and turning would definitely awaken her and that was the last thing he wanted.

So, he lay stiff as a board. Looking above to the mattress above him. He anxiously counted the number of bars holding the bed above him, distracting his mind to the best of his abilities. Because every time he couldn’t sleep at night, his mind went to dark places. *You have no idea what you’re doing.* He would think. That main thought spiraled out of control to other thoughts. But, that one main thought started from the time he was child, to now. It adapted to whatever situation he was in. As a child, ‘You have no idea what you’re doing’ related to the spelling bee, now, it is related to parenting his one year old daughter.

He grabbed the chair next to the desk, and placed it near the bed. He sat on it and watched her sleep soundly. A warm feeling was felt in his chest, unknowingly smiling ear to ear. He examined her features, and the midnight moon shone upon her face. She mainly had Louis’ features, his freckles, skin color, and eye shape. But, her lashes were full and her eyes were as golden as Clementines, her hair was also kinky just like Clementines. She was a perfect mix between the two.

*You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?*

Louis furrowed his brows as the thought entered his mind. No matter how many baby books he read, or conversations with Clementine he had about how to raise a baby into childhood, his mind was never satisfied with himself.

*To put your girlfriend through so much pain during her pregnancy, so selfish to bring a kid into this world, you’re a monster.*

That wasn’t true. Louis knew it. It wasn’t a mindless decision or an accident, it was multiple conversations and respectful debates about when or if they should start a family. After weeks, they decided together that they wanted a family, and they had enough resources to do so. And the pregnancy went better than expected, minor pain here and there, and the delivery had no scares. Thankfully, whenever Louis would remember this, it seemed as if thoughts grew quieter, and instead he imagined a world where the apocalypse wasn’t here. He wondered what her parents would think of him, or Lee, even Kenny. He didn’t know much about them, but he knew enough to know she cared deeply for them.

Suddenly, his daughter sniffled, causing him to go into panic mode. He calmed himself down once she went back to her normal state. It was spring, and it was just allergies but he was still terrified of her getting sick. Louis sighed, slouching against the chair now.

Although Louis truly thought he didn’t know what he was doing, he knew one thing. He’ll never be like his parents. His father, manipulative and a gas-lighter. His mother ignored it and was just focused on her public image instead.

*“Chin up, baby.” His mother whispered down to him. “Play your little piano and smile.”*

*His mother’s tone was sweet, and caring. But Louis wasn’t stupid. He knew his family milked his skills during fancy business parties like these ones. But, he played the piano nonetheless, because this was the only time he could truly feel like he had an audience that enjoyed his talent, his dream.*

*“My son! Ladies and gentlemen!” Louis’ father widened his arms towards Louis playing the piano. Families of prestigious wealth clapped for him. In this moment it was bitter sweet, should he feel happy that people enjoyed his music, or should he feel angry that his parents only supported him if it benefited them? Louis brushed off the confusing feelings and instead put his emotions into his music, making it authentic and oddly charming.*

*“Beautiful, Mandisa.” A woman patted his mothers shoulder. “You’ve raised a wonderful son.”*

Louis slightly groaned in irritation. ‘*They raised a horrible kid.’* Louis thought to himself. Now that he was older, he realized that he shouldn’t have beat himself up as much as he did when he was 17. Guilt had always occupied his mind when he thought about what he did, how he broke up his parents. But in reality, they raised him like that. They raised him to think of yourself first, not others. Survival of the fittest.

*“Please, I have a family William!”*

*Louis sat on the couch with his mother, they were just chatting when they heard the commotion coming from the office room. His father opened the door and held his hand out. “You’re not needed anymore, Mark.”*

*“I-I’m not needed?! Are you serious!? I helped you start this business, what the fuck man?!”*

*“But- Mark. You seem to forget. People like me. People like my beautiful ‘exotic’ wife, people love my son. What do you have Mark? A regular housewife, who’s pregnant and unattractive? A son who doesn’t excel in school? He doesn’t even have a talent to show off. You’re dragging me down. You understand, don’t you?”*

*“Excuse me?! The fuck did you-” Mark gulped as a security guard walked up behind him. “Fine.” Mark muttered.*

*The guard escorted the man out. Louis’ father looked at Louis with a smile, as if he didn’t just ruin someone’s life. “See son,” he started. “-sometimes, we have to make the hard decisions to get what we desire. It’s just business. Nothing personal.”*

Business came first, passion and feelings came last. That way of life ruined his childhood. He believed from a young age hurting others to get what he wanted was ok.

He gently stroked Willows head, *‘I’ll never teach you that.’* He thought to himself. No matter what, he’ll always make sure she knew it was ok to express herself, to talk about her feelings. He wanted her to know that no matter the situation, she was loved and *accepted.*

“I promise.” He whispered. “I promise I’ll give you a better life than mine.”

Suddenly, he felt slender arms wrap around his neck, a semi-heavy weight on his shoulders. He smiled, hearing Clementine mumble something out of exhaustion.

“What was that, darling?” Louis asked, holding her forearm.

“You’re doing great.” She yawned. “You don’t have to keep worrying Louis. You love her and that’s—“

“The bare minimum, Clem.” Louis cut her off.

“-not really. Not anymore.” Clementine said sadly. “Even back then, dads used to run out on their kids, unable to either provide a stable life or love. You could’ve ran out so many times, so many opportunities and you didn’t.”

“Why would I ever do that?” Louis replied, almost offended.

“I’ve seen it happen before. Of course I knew you wouldn’t but…there’s always that lingering exit you can take, and the urge is probably there for you-“

“Clementine.” Louis said sternly, waking her up a little. “I would *never* do that. Do you really think that?”

Clementine stayed quiet. In reality, no. Of course she knew Louis would never leave. It was just her inner insecurities popping out, she’d hidden it for years but it came out eventually. The *constant* fear that she would be alone again lingered in her mind. Louis noticed her silence and sighed. He got off his chair, and then hugged her tightly.

“Isn’t it crazy?” Louis chuckled.

“What?”

“How we only started dating a month into knowing each other.” Louis started, caressing her arm a bit. “Now, we’re in a family together. Clementine, I didn’t fight a war with you, fell for you in the middle of it, wrote songs about you, spent literally almost every second with you for the past 4 years to just leave.” Louis reassured.

“But now we have a kid.”

“Even more of a reason to stay. I mean *who* can actually say they have a kid with the most beautiful, bad-ass woman of the apocalypse world? Only me! I’d be a fool to run from that.” Louis joked.

She shook her head, a big smile on her face. Louis kissed the top of her head, pushing her slightly towards the bed, there he dropped her on it. She got into a comfortable position, and Louis lay next to her.

“I was serious.” Clementine broke the silence. “When I said you’re doing great. It’s not only the love you have for her Louis. You don’t even go to sleep before she does. Even though I tell you I got it. You care deeply for her and that *is* enough.”

Louis sighed, twiddling his fingers with one another, only staring at the bars above him. “I know. Thanks. Sometimes it just feels like I’m not enough, even before Willow.”

“Louis…” Clementine muttered sadly. The thought of him degrading himself saddened her. She sat up, grabbing his curious glance. Clementine took off her oversized sweater, a tank-top underneath. There was enough moon-light to see the faint, pink branded mark on her arm. She slid her fingers over it slightly, a grimace appearing on her face.

“You finally gonna reveal the meaning behind that?” Louis chuckled, over the years, she’d always refuse. ‘*The past doesn’t matter.’* She’d say.

Although he was joking, she wasn’t.

“I got this when I was 13.” Clementine started.

Louis shifted himself upwards, a frown shown on his face as he eyed the scar.

“I only did it to make sure AJ was safe. But, then he got ripped apart from me in the same group. After that, I had nothing more to lose. And when you have nothing to lose…you do scary, stupid things. I was horrible, Louis. I wasn’t the same person you know today.”

Louis nodded, taking in her words to the best of his ability. Trying not to react negatively in anyway.

“After I got AJ back—I only had *him.* If anyone ever—and I mean, *anyone* tried anything to hurt or kill him, I wouldn’t hold back. Yes I love AJ. I really do, but that feeling of hopelessness for your own self is so damaging.” Clementine opened up. After a brief moment of silence she continued. “I didn’t have hope for my own life, only for his. I didn’t mind if I got bit, as long as he was safe, I didn’t care. Not because I was sad or anything but because I just felt like this world wasn't for me. When I was a kid, I loved to be social, playful even. I've changed so much, I was forced to. I used to be innocent. Now, I'm finally getting some sort of my old self back."

Clementine grabbed Louis’ hand and squeezed it slightly. “You saved me.” She said, her tone hoarse. Louis squeezed back on her hand.

"I'm glad to be of service." He smiled at her. “I love you.”

She smiled, and kissed his cheek. “I love you too, Louis.”

#twdg #clouis #telltale the walking dead #clemxlouis #clou #telltales the walking dead #twd #twdclem #twdg s4 #fanfic

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petri808 · 3 years ago

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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

Inukag AU

More and more the déjà vu moments started coming to Kagome, mostly smaller memories, but they were adding up. She’d taken the doctor’s advice and kept a small notebook in her purse in case a new one popped up. For example, she knew Inuyasha’s favorite food was ramen because she’d been told as much, but one day as she shopped in the supermarket and saw one of the brands on the shelf, her hand immediately reached out for it. Kagome placed it in her basket without a second thought until two aisles away it finally hit her— it wasn’t a flavor she liked. Sure enough, when she saw Inuyasha that afternoon he confirmed it was the brand and flavor he always bought.

Speaking of recall, Kagome had met Ms. Tanaka at a small cafe one Saturday and they sat at a table for four hours chatting. Kagome had been nervous about going. What would she say since she couldn’t remember anything about the job or company, but Ms. Tanaka was such a bubbly feisty person those anxieties had melted away within the first few minutes. She was brought up to speed on how the company was doing… along with the gossip or drama one might find in a close knit office like they had. So, and so just started dating, bought a new car, complaining about in-laws, news about children, etc. Kagome recognized the name of one child mentioned from when the coworker had taken maternity leave. It felt weird to now be told the child had started preschool, but she was just happy to have remembered the person at all. It was a good day with more to come because Ms. Tanaka invited her to a birthday party the following week at the office for one of their closest co-workers. Apparently, they were nicknamed the trio at work because they always took their lunches together. Their cubicles were next to each other so day in and day out they’d became each other’s family away from home.

“Hi, everyone.” Kagome smiled and waved even though her nerves were on edge. Ms. Tanaka wanted it to be a surprise, so she had no idea what the reaction would be… and it certainly wasn’t this!

A loud scream came from the other side of the room that left her startled. At first Kagome couldn’t see who or where it had come from over all the cubicles, but the next thing she knew she’d almost been tackled to the ground by a hug. It was the birthday girl, Ms. Fukuda.

“Oh, my Kami you came!” Fukuda pulled back her hands still gripped to Kagome’s shoulders. “Why didn’t anyone tell me you were coming??”

“Tanaka wanted it be a surprise,” Kagome squeaked back.

“Well, this is definitely the best birthday gift I could’ve received!— Even if you don’t remember me.”

Kagome flinched a little, her cheeks heating up. “I’m sorry, I don’t, but I’m hoping being here will stimulate something.”

“No need to be sorry,” the woman hugged her again. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but let’s see if we can’t jog those memories!” Ms. Fukuda took Kagome’s hand and started dragging her deeper into the crowd. “Everyone! Look who’s here!”

Kagome stayed close to Tanaka and Fukuda throughout the visit, though the longer she stayed the more comfortable she became. There was tons of food to eat and desserts that left her full. People joked around, teasing Fukuda over a few gag gifts, but all in good fun. Kagome couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so hard. Everyone was so nice and accommodating, never making her feel bad that she couldn’t remember them. Quite the contrary. The office staff talked and talked, bringing up story after story from the last few years. They seemed determined to play a role in helping Kagome to redeem her lost memories. Most of the staff were there when she’d started and so they had a lot of tales to tell.

“You had such a hard time with the ten-key machine,” Ms. Fukuda laughed. “I remember thinking oh kami, this young girl is gonna give me gray hair!”

Kagome chuckled. “And you weren’t quiet about pointing it out to me. Said I’ll have to cover the cost of hair dye if it did.”

The room full of laughter suddenly went silent as everyone turned to Kagome. Only a few gasps breaking the stillness to leave her utterly concerned. “Did I say something wrong?” Kagome questioned.

Ms. Fukuda broke the silence. “Y-You really remember that?”

“Remember…” Kagome repeated in confusion. All she did was comment— “Oh! Yeah, I guess I did…”

Fukuda squealed as she hugged onto Kagome. “Oh, my Kami! You remembered!”

“I-I remembered!” Tears began to stream down Kagome’s cheeks at how naturally the memories came back to her. “It took me a couple of months, but I got it down.”

“You did,” Ms. Fukuda whose own tears made their way to the scene, and Ms. Tanaka had joined in the hug. “And now you’re faster than me,” she snorted a laugh.

“Y-Yeah,” Kagome hiccupped a laugh too.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as everyone watched the friends sharing in such a beautiful moment. As the trio pulled apart, wiping away their tear stained faces, with the biggest smiles planted on them. Ms. Fukuda took Kagome’s hand a final time before letting go. “This truly was the best birthday gift, and I can’t wait for you come back to work.”

“Me, too.”

The party went on for a couple more hours, and by 4pm that afternoon it was winding down. Some office workers were tidying up, packing up leftovers or cleaning up any messes, while others went back to finishing up any company business that needed to be completed that day. A few core individuals such as the trio stayed chatting quietly around the cubicles. There was more than one conversation taking place, so Kagome ever eager to learn what she could did her best to stay engaged. Listening here and chiming in there. But then a name two cubicles away caught her attention.

‘Yura?’ Kagome wondered, who was this person and why was the name stirring up such a wave of anger and pain inside of her? The conversation she overheard seemed meaningless, just something about they were glad the person wasn’t there anymore. Okay, so that meant Yura was a former employee of the company. One person commented that they’d seen her at a new job in a department store selling makeup and the other responded with a scoffing sound, that it was a good fit for such a two-faced bitch. Well, obviously she wasn’t the only person who’d had an issue with this Yura woman. But who was she to her??

In order to figure it out, Kagome tapped on Ms. Tanaka’s shoulder to gain her attention. She whispered her question. “Who is Yura? Mr. Yoshida and Mr. Miyahira are talking about her.”

“Oh…” Ms. Tanaka looked warily at Ms. Fukuda before addressing Kagome’s question. “Are you sure you want to know? It, um… won’t be a very good memory.”

So, Yura was attached to an unhappy event in her life after all and her friends reaction’s just confirmed the initial feelings she’d felt. Kagome swallowed hard, would it be worth dredging up an unhappy memory or should she leave it buried away. It wasn’t the easiest decision to make, but if the woman’s name had triggered such a strong reaction, it must’ve played a significant role.

“J-Just tell me a little bit about her, maybe about when she’d worked here.”

Ms. Tanaka went first. “Okay. Well, um, she was here for about a year, and no one really liked her because she was rude and thought she was better than everyone else… but, when it came to you, Yura just had a real fixation on making your life miserable.”

“We didn’t know the real reason behind it all until the end,” added Ms. Fukuda. “At first, it was petty, childish things like stealing your lunch from the break room or leaving mean notes on your desk. But then it started to escalate and after several complaints to management, they finally fired her— You basically told the manager if they didn’t then you’d quit.”

“They chose you, and that’s what’s important.” Tanaka finished.

“But what do you mean the real reason behind it? Behind what?” Kagome asked.

Kagome’s question must’ve gave her two friends a real dilemma because they grew silent and hesitant to answer it. “Please? We’ve come this far you might as well just tell me.”

“It turned out that Yura was acting that way towards you because, she’s close friends with Inuyasha’s ex…”

“Oh…” Kagome’s eyes widened. “That’s right…” she sat back as the emotions took control. Kikyo was still a vague concept for her with only the bits and pieces she’d been able to put together, but the mention of the woman in conjunction with Yura brought on a flashback. “The cafe. They’d confronted me at a cafe on my lunch break…” Tears had welled up in Kagome’s eyes, but a sensation of anger was making her body tremble at the memory. “That’s what made me give management an ultimatum because it was just going to far.”

As the tears broke free, Kagome’s friends pulled together into a hug. Don’t cry! It’s okay! It was the past! Oh, please don’t be sad Kagome! She’s gone now, it’s gonna be okay! Once she was able to get the tears under control and convince them she’d be okay, they dropped the subject. But despite cheering Kagome up, the bitter feelings just wouldn’t go away. They sat in her gut stirring and brooding, knowing there was more to the story that she just couldn’t remember and that alone was frustrating. According to her friend’s, this incident happened just eight months before her accident, so it wasn’t ancient history. Had it contributed to the fight? It wasn’t beyond belief to think it had or at least added to the frustrations that led up to it.

When Inuyasha picked Kagome up from her workplace, he tried to make small talk. How’d it go? Did you have fun? She answered them in order, how it started out great and everyone was so nice and supportive, telling her stories and answering questions. Then she told him about blurting out a comment because she’d remembered the event.

“That’s awesome, babe!” Inuyasha squeezed her shoulder. “Your memories are coming back faster now!”

“Yeah, about that…” Kagome quieted as she fiddled with her fingers in her lap. “There was something else that was triggered, a… not so great memory.”

“Oh?” He turned briefly to check on her before returning his eyes to the road. “Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Um… well there was a woman that used to work there that I didn’t get along with…”

“That’s surprising.”

“Yeah, she um— Her name was Yura. But the reason we didn’t get along was because she’s a friend of your ex-girlfriend.”

Kagome instantly saw Inuyasha’s grip tighten on the steering wheel and the whites of his knuckles glaringly apparent. Clearly just the mention of Kikyo was enough to trigger an intense reaction.

She cleared her drying throat. “The company fired Yura about 8 months before the accident after she and Kikyo harassed me at a cafe during my lunch break.”

“You never told me about that. Kagome, why—”Inuyasha stopped mid-sentence as he felt his anger rise. He took a deep breath then lowered his tone. “Why didn’t you tell me about something that bad?”

“I’m not surprised…” she mumbled under her breath. She’d had an inkling that she’d never told him. “I think it was because I didn’t think you’d listen.”

“Of course, I would have listened! They were harassing you!”

“Look, Inuyasha, I don’t remember everything, but clearly there was a reason I didn’t tell you and based on everything you’ve told me yourself you weren’t listening! So, how can you even tell me you would have, when obviously you weren’t back then! You have no right to hold it against me now!”

“Kagome this is different, it affected your job and there were witnesses—”

“Oh?! So, because you’d believe the witnesses you would have believed me?! I don’t remember, but maybe there were other times there were witnesses and you didn’t listen— I DON’T KNOW THAT!”

“That’s not what I meant! I would have listened to you if you’d told me! You should have told me!”

“You know, I really thought you’d be different but if you still can’t admit about what drove me to leave that night, then I… I don’t know anymore…”

“That’s not fair…”

“J-just get me home! I-I just wanna go home Inuyasha! I can’t talk to you right now! There’s so much I can’t remember and since you admitted you hadn’t listened before, there’s nothing more to say.”

“Please Kagome—”

“Just stop. I’m done talking.” She’d had enough.

Her mind was spinning from all the gaps she couldn’t fill and the anger at his words. How could he deny it now when that’s one of the things he’d admitted to from the beginning. The last few minutes of the drive went by in silence and as soon as they reached the Higurashi residence, Kagome got out without a second look. All their months of hard work were now left behind with the slam of a car door and she had no idea how to salvage it.

#inukag #inukag au #inukag fan fiction #inukag fan fic #inuyasha #kagome higurashi #inuyasha x kagome #angst with happy ending #ch 9 #missing memories

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andmaybegayer · 4 years ago

Note

What is bus mode Ethernet?

Where did you even find that post buddy. That was so long ago *aide whispers in my ear* what do you mean only one month! December was four years ago!

So this is specifically talking about how wired networks are laid out. Nowadays, when you lay out a network for, say, a datacenter or an office, you lay it out in a star topology, using switches. That looks like this:

A switch is a smart appliance, which means it has an awareness of the network and can make decisions. If computer A decides it wants to talk to computer C, it sends a message down its link tagged with the address of C. The switch sees this packet and goes “ah-ha, I know where C is!” and sends the message down the right line. Notably here, B and D never even know this transaction took place. This is sometimes called point-to-point networking, because messages are only sent to the places they are needed.

Switches are popular nowadays, but there’s a problem: They’re computers. Because a switch is making decisions, potentially very fast decisions, it requires a fast processor. In the 90′s and earlier, such a device could cost an extraordinary amount of money: USD 100 per port was considered an absolute steal in 1997, and the further you go back, the worse it gets. A small office with a dozen computers probably doesn’t want to fork over USD 5000 just to network share sub-megabyte files and get emails.

The solution to this is Bus Networking.

It’s called Bus Networking because all traffic shares the same connections and thus share bandwidth. Y’know, like public transport.

This is a simple Ethernet Bus network. In this situation, if computer A wants to talk to computer C, it still emits a packet tagged with the address for C, but now there’s a difference: B and D can also see this packet coming through, and if they want they could ignore the addressing and read what it contains.

(note: those things on the end of the line represent signal terminators. On a long wire like this a message could bounce back from unterminated ends, interfering with traffic)

That’s not the biggest issue with bus networks though: the real issue is collisions!

If A tries to talk to C, but at the same time B tries to talk to D, two signals cannot travel on a wire at once. They mix up, and no one gets their message across. A collision has occured.

Fortunately for us, some Hawaiian researchers solved this problem in the 70′s when they were setting up radio communications between the Hawaiian Islands, a system called ALOHAnet. Radio has this problem as well: if everyone is broadcasting on one frequency, two people broadcasting can get muddled and now no-one gets to hear what was said. How can you efficiently send messages without collisions when you have no way to coordinate between members? Remember, trying to send a message to say “okay, you go first, then I’ll go” has as much chance of colliding as anything else!

We solve this with the ALOHA protocol, which is loosely as follows:

Pretend you are a computer. If you are already a computer, skip this step.

Send your message.

Listen for any messages from anyone else.

If you hear a message from someone else, then you know there’s been a collision. You can trust that they also heard your message.

Roll a small random number, let’s say between 1 and 6. Wait that much time. Everyone else on the network who wants to transmit does the same.

If you hear a message come through before you can send yours, wait for them to finish before you send.

Try and send when your timer expires and you have an opening

Listen for any messages from anyone else.

If you hear a message from someone else, there’s been another collision. Increase the size of your random number (try doubling the upper bound), roll again, and go back to step 4.

If you successfully transmit, you’re done!

This largely solves the problem. You have a way for all these devices sharing nothing more than a wire to communicate with each other. Make one of those devices a router with access to the network and you’re surfing the information superhighway!

On a not-too-busy network with a handful of users, this works surprisingly well, but it has a problem: as you get more and more active users on one network, the amount of time it takes for everyone to randomly roll the right numbers to transmit gets higher and higher, until the whole network bogs down. There are slight improvements to ALOHA that improve throughput, but you start to run up against mathematical limits pretty fast. With the addition of dedicated transmission slots rather than haphazardly counting down without a care in the world, ALOHA can reach about 35% utilization of a link.

An additional note: at this time, Ethernet didn’t run over CAT-5 like it does now. CAT-5 terminated in RJ-45 is what we usually use nowadays because we want to support 100-1000 megabit per second speeds,

Back in the Bad Old Days, ethernet generally ran over coaxial cable, sometimes called ThinNet, i.e. this shit, which you may recognize if you’ve ever used lab equipment.

Hence, you really could just tap off new lines from this pretty easily, you just had to join two wires and you were off to the races. This was actually preceded by a bigger serial interface, affectionately referred to as ThickNet. Both could run at about 10Mbps maximum, which, once you throw in that 35% utilization? You can see why we needed to move past this. 3.5Mbps was slow for a local network even in the 80′s.

Nowdays, you can buy a brand new switch for a pretty reasonable price, or a used switch for a downright bargain, running at speeds that would have blown the socks off a Cray engineer a couple decades ago. Bus-mode ethernet basically only exists in weird industrial and sensor applications where switches are impractical or unnecessary, plus we have Wi-Fi now. Wi-Fi doesn’t have to deal with the same problems as ALOHA, because it allocates little chunks of frequency and time to every device on the network, keeping most transmissions separate one way or another with careful negotiation.

Bus mode ethernet still works, even with modern networking! If you decided to splice a bunch of modern PC’s together with junction boxes and allocated addresses to them all, they would step in line and roll back to this antique networking technique because it’s all part of the standard.

I’m gonna call it here but I do have another post in me about the way bus networks were actually set up and the weird as hell switches you might have found in a burgeoning 80′s tech company. Let me know if that sounds like anything.

#Anonymous #computer stuff #networking #ethernet

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years ago

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Title: Hibiscus Kisses {2}

Chris Evans x OFC Ajali Rambaue AU {Ah-Jah-Lee, Ram-Bow}

Warning: Plot Heavy, Mild Cursing, Mild Slow Burn

Words: 4.9k

Summary: Ajali decides on a rash decision to go on a Disney cruise, not for her love of Disney, but because she needs time to figure things out after things get even more complicated in her complicated life. She only expected peace, quiet, tropical drinks, and an overabundance of Disney songs. What she got was more than she bargained for when the cruise of a lifetime on the brand new ship Enchantment turned into a nightmare. The only saving grace is that she’s not the only one living through the nightmare. Can Ajali survive the test of a lifetime and the dangers ahead of her, and better yet, will she finally be able to live a little?

Note: Hey, hey, hey, guys! So here we are trying something different/new. I hope you enjoy this. 🤞🏽 Please feel free to tell me what you think. I’m super excited to explore this one with you all. 🤗

As always, thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this, please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG! ❤️❤️

I appreciate each and every one of your guys’ support and love!

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

**Interactive**

**Slightly Pic Heavy**

Previous Chapters: 1 |

Anyone who got up and at em’ on the first day of vacation had something to prove, and you hated them. You had nothing to prove, so you kept your ass in your room and utilized the “to cabin” service. You don’t know if it was the sound of the waves from the balcony, the lull of the ship as it pushed through the water, you being physically exhausted, or if it was your emotional exhaustion that did you in. Whatever it was, you slept until it was damn near dinner time. Even then, leaving your room was not an option.

So you called for a meal to be brought to you, snuggled into the covers, and watched the available tv channels. Not wanting to watch any movies, you decided on a channel that seemed to be a mix of the animal planet, discovery channel, and a survivalist’s dream. The program that was on was something about figuring out the difference between good food and bad food. Things like this you found interesting and always watched. It wasn’t that you planned on ever needing the information but why the hell wouldn’t you be prepared for a never possibility.

When the food arrived, you were well into another program about common dangers on Caribbean islands that tourists would never know. Once you accepted the three reusable food bags, you buried yourself right back into the bed and surrounded yourself with everything you’d requested. You bet whoever prepared it thought it was for at least three people, but nope it was all yours. Vacation was about overindulging, right?

A few hours later, your phone rang. Knowing your sister’s ringtone, you answered without looking at the ID.

“You know better than not to send a message to mom before you disappear, Lulu.”

“Disappear? Lali, I am on a huge ass ship. Where am I disappearing to?”

“You know what I mean. You know if she hasn’t heard from you, then that’s just as good as disappearing,” Atali countered.

Sighing, you rubbed your forehead. Your mother was a bit much sometimes.

“I slept in.”

“All day?”

“All day,” you repeated.

“Alone?”

Kissing your teeth, you rolled your eyes and leaned back on the headboard.

“Lali, you do know it’s me you’re talking to, right?”

Atali giggled. “It is a vacation; excuse me for thinking you’d live a little.”

“There is living a little and living recklessly,” you dryly responded.

“Recklessly? Lulu, you’re the one who is sleeping with--.”

You loudly cleared your throat, interrupting what you knew she was going to say. Atali was always good for bringing up everything you wanted to forget.

“Jeez, Atali.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

You put another piece of cake into your mouth and moaned, savoring the strawberry and the smoothness of the cheesecake. You bit your bottom lip, and for some reason, your mind ran to the stranger you still had yet to get the name of.

“Met anyone on board?”

“Lali, I didn’t come here to meet anyone.”

“I know, but you still could have—in passing.”

You sighed and went over the details of his face. You really didn’t like men with that much facial hair, but it fit him well and easily made him look younger than he quite possibly was.

“What’s his name?”

“I don’t know his name, and he doesn’t matter. I did meet a woman.”

“Woman? You’ve been gone a day and already experimenting?”

You smiled and shook your head. “Shut up. Listen, she’s really cool. Her stories are classic, and she does her makeup like a goddess. You would like her, Lali.”

“She’s an older woman, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, so what?”

“You always attract these old-young souls.”

The two of you giggled together, but it went on for longer than just a few seconds. When you sighed out and leaned back against the headboard, you again thought of him.

“What’s your first port?”

“Dominican Republic, then Turks & Caicos, the British Virgin Islands after that then Aruba and Jamaica.”

“Jeez, you’re living life,” Atali commented.

“You have no idea. You should see this ship. They went all out times two with it. It’s just absolute luxury everywhere. I said pick me a ship. I didn’t say give me the Cleopatra treatment.”

“You knew what you were getting into when you asked me to do it,” Atali replied. “By the way, isn’t BVI and Turks and Caicos pretty close to Bermuda?”

Taking a moment to think about it, you responded, “Yeah. So?”

“So? Lulu, Bermuda,” Atali repeated.

When you didn’t speak immediately, she continued. “The Bermuda Triangle, dummy.”

Kissing your teeth, you rolled your eyes, “Oh god, you cannot be serious.”

“I am. Have you never heard that ships get lost and disappear in that area?”

“Lali, I’m sure there is a scientific explanation, and I am also sure that no one would charter a course near somewhere that they’d get lost, especially with hundreds of passengers,” you finished, confidant in your response.

The two of you talked for almost an hour before she was urging you to get out of your room and go to one of the clubs on the ship. You protested, but you knew she would not shut up about it, so you gave in though you had no interest in actually going. You spent the next hour going back and forth with your options. Most of you wanted to stay in bed or sit on the balcony and just get lost in the view, while the other knew that you’d only think of Javii if you did that.

Following a shower, you scanned your clothes. Once you found a cute dress, then applied a lite layer of makeup and did your hair, choosing to leave it down rather than putting it in a cute bun. Five or ten minutes later, you were standing in front of the entrance to one of the clubs—Jewel. The music from inside was lively, and you could imagine the number of young bodies pressing against each other, seeking a cheap thrill. Glancing from left to right, you decided to bite the bullet.

As soon as you stepped inside, you didn’t feel like you were on a ship in the middle of the ocean. It felt like it was a well established nightclub on solid ground. Whoever the DJ was, they were doing their thing, and it was evident from the bodies that littered the floor. It looked like this was where the parents came when their kids were tucked away in bed cuddling Tiana and Jasmine close. You walked through the crowds and saw plenty of couples making out and sharing drinks. Never again would you think to sleep on a Disney cruise. You thought it would be a chill time, but damn this was like parents gone wild.

After a few minutes of walking around and scoping things out, you found a place at one of the three bars.

“First Disney cruise?”

Snapping your head around, you looked at a smiling bartender with long hair that was piled on top of his head in a neat man bun.

“That obvious?”

“Let me guess, you expected tame, princess sing-a-longs, virgin pina coladas, and plenty of mickey mouse.”

The look on your face must have given you away because he was laughing a few seconds after he said it. You snorted and shook your head as you rearranged your dress and recrossed your legs.

“Fine, you got me.”

“It’s okay. I get how you’d think it was a tame little adventure. Why do you think we get so many reservations?”

“I thought it was for the kids,” you blurted out. It was his turn to laugh.

“Silly rabbit, while Disney is for kids, what happens after those kids lay their pretty little heads is a whole other story.”

Glancing around once more, you made a mental note never to make the mistake again. Disney cruises were probably as raunchy as Carnival or those geared toward singles. At that thought, you began to wonder how many swingers were on board, and if this was a swinger’s playground.

“What can I get you?”

“Something strong so my innocent mind can adjust.”

The bartender chuckled to himself as he walked around, preparing your drink. You bopped to the music and looked around again. Now it made sense to you when the mom of two who was preggo with her third said these cruises always gave her just what she needed. You bet they did—three fucking kids. Your mind was blown.

When the bartender slid your drink to you, he smiled and slipped away to serve the others. That was when you turned back around to people watch. There was no way you were going to dance with any of them. after a few sips of your drink, you saw him across the way. He was sitting at one of the other bars watching the dancefloor as you were. His hat was gone, and it showed you that his hair was long. The lights were too dim to make out much else, but what you couldn’t make out, you quickly filled in from your other encounter.

Before you realized your glass was empty, your eyes met and lingered on each other for several long moments. The only reason you looked away was because of the passing people who got in the way. When you looked back, his eyes weren’t on yours anymore, they were looking lower, but it was unclear if he was looking at you or someone on the dancefloor. Shaking it off, you spun around and requested another drink.

As you waited, you scrolled through your phone and did your best to fight the urge to check his social media. Javii wasn’t huge on social media. He preferred to have his team handle his brand's social side, but he did have a secret one that not many knew about. There he posted things that interested him, showed his lifestyle and his passions. It was also where he posted his “thirst traps.” You knew that if you went on, you’d find one or two, and you knew the caption was going to be code for you. You doubted you were mentally prepared enough for that psychological minefield.

“What can I get you, sir?”

“Another beer, please.”

The deep voice beside you had your finger pausing before you tapped the circle with Javii’s picture that indicated he’d made a new story. When you looked next to you there, he was again. The dim and colored lights in the room gave you a new appreciation of his eyes. It was at this moment you knew he got a lot of attention from women. With eyes like those, how could he not? He looked at you and smiled, and that sold it for you. His teeth were perfect, and though his smile made the wrinkles at the sides of his eyes more prominent, it also made his face light up. He looked like a kind man--a gentle one perhaps.

“Either you’re following me around, or we’d call this fate.”

You couldn’t help but smile. The cocky on him was so strong. It was a familiar cocky.

“Or you’re following me around. You’re the one who bumped into me twice,” you countered.

“Eh, I was the one doing the catching, so it’s more feasible that you’re following me.”

He wore a soft grin, one that you mirrored.

“Maybe if you weren’t like a brick wall, you wouldn’t have to catch me.”

“I’m not complaining,” he responded. You stared at him and quickly got his meaning. Again, you couldn’t help but smile. Not only was he cocky, but he was charming, you thought.

You finished your drink with one raise of your hand. When you lowered your glass, you watched as he raked his fingers through his hair, bringing it full out of his face. It was then you recognized him.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Now I know where I’ve seen you from.”

He looked confused. “Now? You didn’t know this whole time?”

“No. You looked familiar, but I couldn’t place you.”

The look on his face was a lite one. He softly scoffed and raised his bottle to his head, and took a few gulps of his beer. When he lowered it, he spoke again.

“That’s refreshing. I’m not used to people not recognizing me.”

“That must suck. I couldn’t imagine living my life under suck a microscope,” you said without thinking. When you realized what you’d said, you glanced at him and tried to backtrack.

“Uh—what I mean is--.”

He smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay. I know what you mean. I’m Chris,” he replied, holding out his hand to you. When you touched his hand, you were surprised by how soft they were. He’d never used them for manual labor a day in his life, you thought.

“Ajali,” you responded.

“Aja—li, he slowly repeated, trying to mirror how you said it.

“Yes.”

“Wow, that’s a beautiful name, very unique,” Chris noted.

“Thank you.”

“What do your friends call you, Aja?”

You looked at him after raising your hand to the bartender, signaling you’d like another.

“Why? Are we friends?”

Chris smiled and dipped his head down, making his hair fall into his face. He looked good with long hair and this grizzly beard combo. Again, he raked his fingers through his hair before he looked at you.

“We can be. We can be good friends if you like.”

Searching his eyes, you tried to find evidence in there to match the flirtatious tone of his voice.

“What if my husband isn’t into that?”

Chris smiled and turned his body to you. “You don’t have a husband. From the first time we bumped into each other, I noticed you’re not wearing a wedding ring, nor do you have any tan lines to signify you’re hiding one.”

Raising your eyebrow, you allowed his words to sink in. “I could have--,” you began.

“—Kids? Nah, you were alone the first time outside and again on the deck when I passed you and the night in the dining room and even at the show.”

He’d been watching you.

“No, I’m not stalking you, I promise,” Chris quickly spoke up. “Plus, even if you had kids, it wouldn’t matter. I like kids—they like me.”

The two of you sat in silence for a few moments. When you got your drink, you took a long sip.

“So you’re alone here on this family Disney cruise. That alone deserves a question,” Chris continued.

“It does. You’re also alone on this same family Disney cruise,” you countered. Chris nodded and took another sip of his beer before he leaned closer to you.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” he whispered.

There was no way you were going to divulge personal information to a stranger, no matter if he were Captain America. You spun to face him, then uncrossed your legs to recross them. His eyes dropped to your thighs, and that told you what you needed to know. He was on this cruise for hookups. Scoffing, you finished your drink.

“Your eyes just told me yours.” You slipped off the barstool and stood before him, leaning in just a little. “I hear Disney cruises are the place to be for after dark entanglements, and you’re in the right place. Have a good night.”

You walked away, not giving him a chance to respond. Instead of moving to another bar, you decided to leave. You’d heard plenty of rumors and stories of Chris Evans and his booty calls, and you were not impressed. He was clearly here for easy, strings free sex. You’d heard more than you needed to about how he met his hook up buddies and just not was textbook. You were not here to be another notch in his bedpost.

-The Next Day-

-The Dominican Republic, 11:10 am

As you walked through the ship, everyone was abuzz with excitement for the first port. You were also excited but not to disembark like everyone else. You’d been to the Dominican Republic plenty of times and had no intention of going out today. You had a plan, and it was to soak up the quiet and empty ship. You wanted to get a spa treatment, a massage, and soak in the hot tub or the steam room and allow the essential oils to work their magic on the tension coursing through your body.

“Attention passengers, we are officially docked. I’d like to be the first to welcome you to the beautiful Dominican Republic. As you disembark, a reminder that we will be leaving port promptly at ten o'clock. Please be on time, ladies and gentlemen, and enjoy your days.”

While everyone was walking in one direction, you were walking in the opposite. Everyone was decked out in their beachwear and sunscreen, and you could tell these kids planned on swimming every inch of that beach. The ride on the elevator was a quick one because you were going lower than everyone else. The spa was on the first level below water. The pamphlet advertised it as being one with the sea thanks to the unmatched view of the ocean and life under the sea. You were excited.

Once you got to the spa entrance, you smiled, seeing that it was completely empty.

“Welcome to Aqua Spa. My name is Vikki.”

“Hi. Am I the only one?”

“You are the first here. Between you and me, I don’t expect many guests being the first port and all,” the blond wearing a sea blue uniform said.

“Excellent.”

“Have you reserved?”

“Yes, Ajali Rambaue.”

You watched her scan the computer screen before her. It didn’t take her long to smile again.

“Ms. Rambaue, welcome. I see you’ve booked the clearing treatment, a gold facial followed by the milk and rose oil bath,” Nikki listed.

Just her listing off your treats had you even more excited. Nodding, you confirmed. She returned your smile and ushered you through the spa. You could already see the blue hue from the portholes, and it bathed the entire spa in the same blue. It felt as if you were gliding underwater, completely immersed with the other creatures.

“Right this way.” You followed her into the room and gasped. The entire room was completely blue, and the sight before you through the clear window was breathtaking.

“Incredible, isn’t it? I guess you can see why they named her Enchantment.”

Maybe Lali’s splurge wasn’t so bad, you thought.

“So, the clearing treatment is an intricate one. You can change behind this screen as I prepare the room for you and your therapist,” Nikki explained.

You stepped behind the glass screen that immediately frosted once you were behind it, then began undressing and listened to her explain the treatment.

“Not only is it an incredible treatment, but it stretches to about three hours from start to finish. World-renowned masseuses and acupuncturist Jadenna Sole designed it. He aimed for it to restore the body’s balance. It does this through a mixture of Eastern and European techniques.”

When you stepped out, you were wrapped in the towel and sighed, seeing the newly lit candles that warmed the room. If you were doing a couple’s massage, this would have been the perfect atmosphere.

“It begins with a full-body exfoliation with sea salt and Indian Kama oil. After your therapist will perform a lymph system massage, and that will prep the body for your Swedish massage. After that, then your body will be wrapped in neem black clay, and you’ll sit and allow it to seep into your pores. Then you’ll rinse and sit in your milk and rose oil bath to then rinse again, and the finishing touch would be an intricate blend of oils and herbs rubbed into your skin that will help your chakras realign,” Nikki finished.

You were impressed as hell. You’d never expect a treatment like this on a cruise. It was more something for Manhattan among the rich. As you got comfortable on the table, you could hardly contain your excitement. When your massage therapist arrived and introduced herself as Marta, you prepared yourself to be shot into space. Massages were your thing. Lali joked that massages were your love language.

When Marta began the exfoliation process, it was relaxing enough for you to nearly fall asleep. You hadn’t realized how tense you were these last few days. You blamed Javii. It was all his fault. After twenty or so minutes, Marta rinsed you then really got started with the massage, all the while putting her back into it. She was a lot stronger than she looked. The pressure was perfect, and the scents from the oils were sublime. In no time, you were drifting from the ground into the sky.

After an hour, your mind was completely blank, and the knot between your shoulder blades was nearly gone. Marta made a few comments on how tense your muscles were and gave pointers on how to prevent locked muscles. You listened as she spoke and tried to retain the information, but you were too distracted with how relaxed you felt. By the time two hours had passed, your muscles were putty, and Marta was now on your gold facial.

This wasn’t the first time you’d gotten one. You and Lali often got them together as part of your sisters day. They were good for your complexion and elasticity. Your mother often stressed that collagen loved you when you were young but liked to play hide and seek the older you got and that you should cherish it and do all you could to maintain your healthy skin. You and Lali listened. After Marta finished applying the mask, you laid back and listened to the sounds of the classical music playing and drifted off to sleep.

When you awoke, it was time to wipe the concoction off and dip into your milk and rose oil bath. The warmth of the mixture had you moaning. There was something so luxurious about lounging in milk like you were an Egyptian queen that had you feeling like a boss. The mask that was applied to your hair was slowly hardening, so you fought the urge to dip your head back. Instead, you leaned back onto the cushions and sighed again.

The silence in the room was just what you needed. Any stress you’d been feeling was a distant memory now. This was just what you needed, you thought.

“Who knew milk and rose oil could be so relaxing.”

Your eyes snapped open as you looked from side to side, trying to see if someone was beside you. The tub pods were empty, and from what you could see, you were alone.

“I’m glad I took Nikki’s recommendation for this over the peppermint soak,” the voice spoke again. You recognized it. Spinning around, you saw a bare back behind yours. He was close enough to touch.

Chris turned around to face you. His face was painted with a mask, only keeping his eyes and lips visible. You quickly forgot your state of undress, but you somehow knew of his. Your eyes dipped down to his bare shoulders and the hair that laid across his chest. You saw a peek of two and a possible third tattoo, and your curiosity piqued.

“Fancy seeing you here, Ajali,” Chris said as his eyes dropped lower. You looked lower on yourself to see your breasts almost out of the milk enough for him to see some nipple. Quickly you sunk down and turned back around, facing your back to him.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Same as you.” You sighed and hugged your legs to your body.

“Shouldn’t they have men in a separate room or something?”

“I’ve seen a naked woman before,” Chris informed with a scoff. You turned around from the tone of his voice.

“I bet you have. You’ve seen plenty naked women.”

Chris turned to face you with his brows knitted together as if he fully got your meaning.

“Just what are you insinuating?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. Are you suggesting that I came on this cruise to sleep with unassuming women?”

You shrugged and turned back around, keeping your back straight.

“Wow, that’s insulting. Where do you get off?”

You remained quiet. He must have taken your silence as more judgment because he spoke again.

“I didn’t come on this cruise to snake myself into someone’s bed. I came because I needed a change of pace, some breathing room. Hollywood gets confining, and the more confining it gets, the more I feel like I’m—suffocating.”

Slowly you turned to look at him. His back was turned so you trailed your eyes over the exposed skin of his back and saw peeks of more tattoos. The man was getting sexier with each passing minute. His shoulders were broad and looked incredibly strong. The low light in the room didn’t help you see anything else, but you could more than imagine everything else.

“So, the confines of a ship wouldn’t feel suffocating?”

Chris turned to look at you.

“There is Hollywood confinement and this. This is not confinement. I have freedom here; I’m not watched like a hawk. Yeah, someone will recognize me here or there, but they are so respectful. For the most part, it is always quick. Plus, I don’t mind talking to the kids.”

This was the second time he brought up kids, you thought.

“Plus, now I’ve met someone who seems to have no problem telling me I’m a whore.”

Immediately you snorted loudly then laughed. “I never called you that.”

“Hinted at it is just the same as saying the words,” Chris accused.

You smiled and sighed, and your eyes lingered on his.

“It’s refreshing again. A lot of women will say what they think I want to hear or be how they think I want them to be.

“Not me.”

“Not you.”

It was said in unison. Once both of you realized what you’d said, you laughed together.

“It must be something having women fawn all over you.”

Chris shrugged, and again your eyes fell to his shoulders, and that is where they remained.

“Something is the word. It gets old, though—real quick.”

When your eyes met again, he held your gaze. “I’m sure men fawn all over you too.”

You took a deep breath and sighed out. “I’m sure they don’t.”

Chris snorted and gave you a “yeah right” look.

“I’m sure you’re full of shit. You’re a beautiful woman.” His eyes dropped below your face again, but they quickly came back up.

You turned your back to him again and stared into the milk and oil concoction. He wasn’t wrong, though he wasn’t right either. Men didn’t fawn over you. Yeah, you got attention from men a lot but to go as far as saying they fawned over you was a stretch. You didn’t notice any man besides Javii for the last three years.

“This is supposed to be a relaxing spa day for me. Maybe we should cut the talking out and just enjoy the rest of it,” you suggested, a little salty he’d reminded you of what you’d come to forget.

“Sure thing,” Chris softly answered.

The two of you remained in your separate bath pods without speaking one more word. However, you were aware of his body and every move he made. His body gave off this energy that felt like your body reached out for. So instead of fully relaxing, you’d spent the time fighting the sway of your body or the urge to slink closer.

An hour later, you were in your clothes again and feeling ten times better than when you’d walked in. You thanked the staff and gave a generous tip, then left. When you got into the elevator, you leaned on the wall and sighed. As the doors closed, a hand stretched out, preventing it from closing. Chris then stepped onto the elevator with that stupid grin.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” he joked as he pressed the six that was already lit up.

“Is six your floor too?”

“Maybe.” He nodded and leaned on the wall beside you.

The two of you rode the elevator and looked outside the glass enclosure to the ship and even the ocean outside.

“They did a fantastic job with the ship. Even though you’re not on an island right now, you feel like it’s still a tropical vacation.”

You nodded, agreeing with him.

“Do you come on Disney cruises often?”

You shook your head. “No. This is a first.”

Chris lit up and smiled widely. “Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve met a first-timer.”

“I take it you’re not.”

“Nope, veteran. I come on a cruise at least once a year and go to Disneyworld and land twice a year,” Chris excitedly bragged.

“Oh, a little boy trapped in a grown man’s body,” you teased.

Chris chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Eh, nothing wrong with being a little boy.”

“Only if you aren’t that way because you refuse to grow up,” you responded. Chris looked at you and kept his eyes there. The ding of the elevator brought your attention back to the dial.

“Six.”

You walked out the door, then turned left and proceeded to your room, wondering the whole way if that was a bitch thing to say. You had to learn to censor, you thought as you scanned your wrist and stepped into your room. Peeping back, you saw Chris still walking to his room with his head dipped low as if he’d lost his best friend.

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#hibiscus kisses fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x black reader #black fanfiction

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masterofmunson · 4 years ago

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all i ask of you (4)

Harry Styles x Fem!Reader Broadway AU

Summary: You’re forced to work with your famous ex boyfriend on Broadway.

Word Count: 6.1k+

Warnings: language, drinking, drama, cliff hanger!

Author’s Note: woohoo! i’m back baby! so sorry for the long delay of part four of the story. please tell me what you think! reblogs, comments, and asks are encouraged and appreciated <3

Jane nearly tramples you as the two of you make it out of the basketball arena with your college diplomas in hand. You laugh and hold on to her tightly as you walk through the arena to the front doors where you know your entire family is waiting.

“We did it! We graduated college!” Jane shouts.

“I know! Can you believe it?” you ask her. It had been a long and hard four years for the both of you. You constantly questioned if it was worth it. People always doubted you. They didn’t believe you could have a promising career with a Music and Theater degree. It didn’t matter if you had prospects on Broadway in the near future. No one but your closest family and friends believed in you.

You walk out the front doors and eagerly search for your family. Jane tugs on your arm, finding your families first. You hurry over to your mother and brothers, hugging them tightly in a group hug. Your oldest brother, Garrett, lifts you off the ground into a tight embrace. You laugh and cling to him before your family friend Glenne tackles you for a hug.

It surprises you that she’s here for your graduation. You knew she’d been invited, but you hadn’t expected her or her boyfriend to come. It makes you slightly upset that they took the time to come celebrate your accomplishments with you, but your boyfriend Harry couldn’t. You understood why, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He wanted to be as private about your relationship as possible, even though he could’ve still come to support you as one of your closest friends. No one would ever know that the two of you were dating if Jeff and Glenne were around.

“What are you doing here?!” you laugh as Jeff kisses your cheek and hugs you tightly. “I told you that you didn’t have to come!”

“Nonsense!” Glenne shouts with a growing smile. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world, and we brought a surprise with us!”

Your eyebrows pinch together as you stare at her. What surprise? Your loud mouth baby brother surely would’ve spoiled it for you. “What do you mean?”

There’s a soft tap on your shoulder and Glenne smirks nodding her head at the person standing behind you. Jane gasps in surprise as she stands between her dad and sister.

You spin around and your eyes meet those of your handsome, rockstar boyfriend. You gasp and he grins, taking you in his arms. You cling to him and he secretly presses a kiss behind your ear.

“You said you couldn’t come,” you whisper in his ear as he holds you.

“I would never miss my girl’s biggest accomplishment, even if it means I’d have to hold off from kissing her until we're in private,” he answers back sweetly, making your insides all warm and fuzzy.

….

On opening night, you made the executive decision to let bygones be bygones. You wanted the show to succeed, regardless of how you felt towards Harry. Everything is water under the bridge. You’ve moved on. You’ve healed. You’re a different person now than you were four years ago. At least that’s what you’ve convinced yourself.

So as a sign of good faith and a step towards the right direction, you went to your favorite coffee shop and bought Harry a coffee and bagel for breakfast. You had a good feeling about tonight. You always do when it comes to opening night. It doesn’t matter how nervous you are.

Keying into the back entrance of the theater, you open the door and walk down the hall into yours and Harry’s shared dressing room. The door is already open and the lights are on which tells you that Harry’s inside. You take a deep breath before stepping into the threshold of the room.

What you don’t expect are the amount of visitors this early in the morning. The first person you recognize is Kendall. You know you shouldn’t be surprised that she’s here. They were together before you were with Harry and are still friends. It never sat right with you while you were dating, but you never told him that. You were too busy falling in love with him.

Then you recognize his sister and his mom. You’d only met them a handful of times, while you were still friends and when you were dating. They’re lovely women and you liked spending time with Gemma whenever she visited. There’s a few others sitting on the couch when you realize they’re a part of his band.

It’s silent when you stand at the door. They’re all staring at you and you feel like you can’t breathe. This wasn’t how you wanted to start your day, especially today of all days. Right now isn’t a good time to give his friends and family a tour of the place, especially when curtain call is 10 hours from now.

Harry moves to approach you from his spot next to his mother. You immediately exit the room and walk down the hall away from prying eyes and ears. Harry gently places a hand on your shoulder, causing you to spin around and face him. You recoil from his touch and shove the food and drink you bought him in his hands.

“Here,” you say. “Consider this my olive branch.”

Harry murmurs your name gently. “Listen, I had no idea this many people were coming to the show and wanted a tour of the place beforehand. I didn’t know Kendall was coming. I’d gotten the okay from Frank and it was Jeff’s idea—”

You interrupt him with a bitter laugh and shake your head at him. “Right, because nothing is ever your fault. Whatever, Harry. I don’t care. Invite whoever you want, I don’t give a shit. Stop acting like you feel the need to run things by me. I’m not your girlfriend. Just do what you want and leave me alone,” you snap at him. You walk into Aaron’s dressing room and shut the door loudly behind you.

Harry frowns, staring at the empty hallway before walking back to the dressing room with the bagel and coffee in his hands. He avoids the shocked looks directed at him as he enters the room, especially from Gemma and his mother. He tries to pretend not to notice.

“Jesus, Harry,” Gemma chastised him. “Why didn’t you tell us you were in a show with your ex girlfriend? Especially considering how things ended!”

Anne gently slaps her eldest in the arm. “Now’s not the time, Gem,” Anne answers for her son. “He needs to focus and we should all leave. It’s unfair to the rest of the cast to be a distraction, including Y/n. I’m sure seeing all of us just scared her.”

“That’s painfully obvious.”

Everyone leaves the room and exits the theater, leaving Harry alone. He sighs, sitting down in his chair. He runs a hand through his hair and groans in frustration. He’s so sick and tired of messing things up with you. Harry understands why you’re so cold and hostile towards him. He knows he deserves it.

Having his family, friends, and even Kendall in the dressing room scared you. He knows that but did it anyway. You don’t know what he told them when your relationship ended. Did he put the blame all on you? Did he make you the bad guy? The aforementioned crazy ex girlfriend never to speak of? Knowing how terrible of a boyfriend he was to you at the end of your relationship, he probably did.

Harry reaches for the cup of coffee you bought him. He takes a gentle sip and hums in approval. Even though it’s been several years, you still know that he takes his coffee black. You always teased him about it and called him grandpa as a result. He thought it was sweet.

He pulls the bagel out of the paper wrapping and takes a bite. You remembered his favorite bagel too, even after all these years. Even after all the things he did. There’s just some things you don’t forget, no matter how small.

In Aaron’s dressing room, you finally reveal the true nature of your relationship with Harry to him. Jane couldn’t contain her smirk or laughter as you rant about your famous ex boyfriend.

��Wait, what?!” Aaron shouts, shaking his head at you in disbelief. “Your ex boyfriend, the ex boyfriend that made you choose between him or Broadway is Harry? Harry Styles thought he could make you choose him over your career?”

“Yes, Aaron,” you say for the umpteenth time. “I know it’s a shock that the Harry Styles is and was an asshole considering what his brand is.”

Your co-star frowns in response. He stops pacing the room and takes a seat beside you on the couch. He takes your hand and gives it a firm squeeze.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

You nod your head in response before sipping at your coffee. “It’s okay. It’s history now. I’m over it, and despite what happened, I forgave him. I know in my heart that he’s a different person now than he was when we were together but he just made me realize that I shouldn’t be with someone who isn’t willing to put in the work or compromise to be happy. Maybe that’s why I’ve been single ever since,” you laugh, leaning into him.

There’s a soft knock at the door, causing you to sit up. Aaron shouts that the door is open and Harry pokes his head in. He laughs nervously and scratches the back of his neck. Both Aaron and Jane glare at him.

“What do you want, Harry?” Jane snaps at him, standing up from her spot on the couch. She puts herself between you and the door, blocking you from his view.

“I just need to talk to Y/n. I have something for her,” Harry answers, peering over Jane to look at you.

You sigh and stand up from your spot on the couch. You pull Jane away from the door and walk out of Aaron’s room without a word spoken to Harry. You return to your shared dressing room without anyone else inside. Harry trails behind, shutting the door. Taking a seat at your makeup table, you watch Harry carefully pick up a bouquet of beautiful lilies in a glass vase. He sets them on your table and you smell the flowers immediately.

“I know I keep messing things up between us. I say something stupid and I do things without thinking. I’ve been incredibly selfish and despite the fact you want nothing to do with me, you’re still helping me because you want the show to be a success regardless. I’m really sorry and I also wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done,” Harry apologizes with a gentle, sincere smile.

You swallow hard. You hadn’t expected him to apologize. Knowing he planned to apologize with a bouquet of flowers that symbolize forgiveness twists something inside of you. You don’t know what it is exactly, but it feels good. It’s a step in the right direction.

You laugh softly. Despite not seeing each other since the break up, you and Harry still seem to be in tune with one another. Of course he would get you flowers, a personal favorite of yours, on the day you bring him breakfast. Some things are harder to break than others.

“What?”

“It’s just funny to me that even after all these years, we’re still in sync. You brought flowers for me on the same day I brought coffee for you. I guess some habits are harder to break than others,” you answer softly.

Harry laughs too and the room falls silent. “Thank you, though, for the apology. I understand that you’re just excited. I was too. All I wanted to do was introduce my family to the cast and show the sets when they flew out to watch me in Cats for the first time,” you tell him, rubbing your hands on the top of your thighs. You bite the inside of your cheek and Harry winces the moment the words leave your mouth. You shouldn’t have brought it up.

When you started your career on Broadway in Cats, it had only been two and a half months since the messy breakup with Harry. You had blocked his number, but you were too afraid to do anything else normal couples would when they broke up. You didn’t want his fans to figure out or piece together scenarios if you unfollowed him on social media or deleted the photos you had together off your profiles. As far as they knew, you were only mutual friends because of Glenne, Harry’s manager’s girlfriend. Jane took you out drinking for a week straight after the break up to try and cheer you up.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “I didn’t mean to mention it like that, only that I was just excited as you are now.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says quietly.

You cough and quickly change the subject. “You should definitely invite your family and friends to the after show after party. I’m not sure if anyone’s told you yet but we always have a massive party after the premier of a show. It’s always at The Plaza and it’s all for the publicity for the hotel and luxury sponsorships so the cast spends the night free of charge. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Aaron told me about it yesterday,” Harry confirms, nodding his head. “I already gave them invites.”

“Sweet.”

There’s a sharp knock on the door before it’s pushed open. One of the photographers, Trevor, steps inside. You smile warmly at him and hug him quickly.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt. Frank wants cast photos before everyone starts to get busy with vocal warm ups, hair, make up, and costume changes,” Trevor tells the two of you. He shakes Harry’s hand and introduces himself.

You nod your head and Trevor holds his camera up to his face. You pose, grinning at him as he takes a photo of you. He takes a quick glance at it.

“Absolutely stunning,” he says before leaving the room.

You leave the room first and Harry follows close behind. You make a quick stop to Aaron’s dressing room and link your arm with Jane’s as you walk to the stage. Walking through the curtain, you and Jane move to the front of the stage and take a seat on the floor.

The rest of the cast walks on stage as a group of photographers move to the front. Everyone squeezes together for a variety of photos. Harry and Aaron join you and Jane on the floor in the front. Frank points to the small space left between you and Harry.

“Get closer,” Frank directs the two of you. Harry glances over at you before inching closer. He carefully places his arm around your torso. It makes your heart stop.

The photographers take a number of photos before Frank dismisses the cast except for you, Harry, and Aaron. Harry’s careful to touch you as they take photos of the two of you. Trevor looks out from his camera lens.

“Aaron and Harry, kiss Y/n on the cheek!” he says.

“I dunno—”

“It’s fine, Harry,” you interrupt with a gentle smile.

Harry’s mouth touches your skin and you hold your breath as Trevor captures the photo with Aaron and Harry pressing their mouths to your face. They pull away and you scratch the back of your neck bashfully before returning to your room.

Kelly, your assigned hair and makeup artist, enters your dressing room a few minutes later. You hug her tightly and the gorgeous redhead laughs. She sets her kit on the table. Mandi, the costume coordinator enters the room and makes a beeline towards the hanger rack with the dresses.

Kelly helps you secure your hair in a wig cap before gently placing the wig of Christine’s gorgeous, long, curls on your head. She moves it in place and teases up the loose strands. She pins it to the cap and it looks as if the hair is your own. It’s your favorite part of becoming Christine.

Harry arrives a few minutes after Kelly starts working on your stage makeup. Zoe and Bridget work with him on hair, make up, and his costume at his table. Music plays softly in the background as the two of you get ready side by side. You sing along softly and ignore Harry’s gentle gaze.

He’s always been terrible at trying to hide the way he looks at you, even now.

Mandi helps you change into the first costume Christine wears for the first few scenes. Despite the fact that you’ve grown so used to the costumes, changing into them, especially with Harry close by makes you feel weird.

You continue your vocal warm ups and drink water as Kelly works on your makeup. You’re careful to relax your eyes and face as she works on your foundation and eyeshadow.

The dressing room door is pushed open and Trevor reappears with your manager trailing behind. He takes behind the scenes photos of you and Harry getting ready for curtain call.

“I have your dress for the after party,” Gretchen, your manager tells you, side eyeing Harry from her spot on the couch. “I’ll bring it inside when the show’s over.”

“Sweet, thanks, Gretchen,” you tell her.

“There’ll also be journalists and reporters at the after party red carpet, so you’re more than welcome to speak to them. Talk about the show, how you felt it went, whatever.”

You hum in response as Kelly lightly applies lip gloss to your mouth. You keep your eyes closed when you hear Jeff come inside and greet Harry. They talk quietly and Jeff tells him what kind of questions to expect at the red carpet. You’re guessing it has to do with you, knowing that the gossip columnists will more than likely ask about what it’s like working with Harry since they only knew that you’ve met in the past. They don’t have a clue that you and Harry used to date. They care more about linking Harry to any woman he knows rather than his music or other accomplishments.

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” Kelly compliments you.

You grin and wink at her. “It’s ‘cos I have you to make me look all pretty,” you say. It makes her laugh.

“When you and Harry are done getting ready, I wanted to take photos of the two of you in costume if that’s okay,” Trevor says, snapping photos of you and Harry at your respective makeup tables.

You nod your head and Harry does the same. You hop off the makeup chair and take a sip of water before leaving the dressing room to the stage. Trevor follows behind before you pose for photos in character until Harry’s done getting into costume. You start some vocal warm ups in the meantime as you wait for him to join you on the stage. Jane appears in costume and starts her vocal warm up with you. Trevor takes photos of the two of you together as you sing and dance with your best friend.

Harry appears on stage with Jeff and Gretchen behind him. You glance over at him and you swallow hard. You try not to think of how handsome he looks in costume. His hair is parted down the middle and the costume fits him perfectly. Your eyes meet his briefly as he approaches you. He leans forward and presses an unexpected kiss to your temple. You cough uncomfortably when you hear Trevor’s camera click, capturing the image.

“How cute,” he says, smiling at the two of you. You fake a smile and bite the inside of your cheek. “Harry, can you hold Y/n like you’re dancing with her and dip her close to the floor? I want to catch the intimate relationship Christine and Raoul have with each other.”

He nods and you turn to face each other. You carefully wrap your arms around his neck and his hands settle on your waist. You slowly dance with each other and your heart starts to race. Harry’s hands slide to your upper back as he dips you down towards the floor. You cling to him as you feel yourself start to fall. He laughs softly as your noses touch and a loose curl of his touches your face. It makes your heart stop. You hear the camera click before Harry gently pulls you up. You take a step away from him to put space between the two of you.

“Fantastic, thanks,” Trevor says, quickly looking at the photos he captured before running off the stage, leaving you, Jane, and Harry on stage.

“I’m going to go decompress before curtain call,” you say to no one in particular before hurrying off to one of the practice rooms. You shut the door behind you and let out a loud breath of air you were holding in.

You settle on the piano bench and rest your fingers gently on the keys. You press the keys softly as the music fills the room. You sing quietly and don’t hear the door open until you see Jeff out of the corner of your eye approaching you at the piano. You turn to face him.

“Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck before curtain call. Harry said you’d be in here,” he says.

Your hands drop from the piano and into your lap. You move to the end of the bench to make room for him. He sits down next to you.

“Thanks. Now why are you really here?” you ask with a soft laugh.

Jeff laughs too and shakes his head. “Nothing gets past you, huh?”

“You’re Harry’s manager, Jeff. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you’d come and talk to me without Harry if there’s something that concerns you about your client and their image.”

“I just want to warn you about possible gossip columnists. They’ll try to link you to Harry regardless of what either of you say. They’ll ask incredibly intrusive questions and—”

“Jeff, I know,” you interrupt him. “Only a select few know that Harry and I dated and they know better than to say anything to anyone. I know how to handle it. I’m not a crazy ex girlfriend.”

“I know.”

You stand up from the piano bench and rub out the wrinkles of your dress. “Then don’t worry about it. Harry’s image is still safe. Can you imagine the uproar if his fans found out how terrible of a boyfriend he was to me? They’d somehow make it my fault.”

You leave the practice room and return to your dressing room. You finally have the chance to relax without Harry looking over your shoulder and staring at you.

“They’re starting to let the audience in,” Jane comes to tell you with less than two hours to spare until the show starts.

You thank her quietly and lightly touch up on your makeup before walking around back to try and find Harry. You find him with the makeup artists that are putting on the beard for the opening scene. You laugh softly from behind and he turns to look at you.

“At least it makes you older,” you tease.

“Sexy, right?” Harry asks.

You nod your head. “Oh, yeah, definitely,” you pause and scratch at your hand. “I just wanted to wish you good luck.”

Harry stares at you, surprised that you’d go out of your way to wish him good luck on his first opening night in his first Broadway show. He smiles at you.

“Thank you, darling.”

You ignore the twist inside your stomach.

….

Adrenaline is racing through you as you hear the orchestra start. From behind stage, you watch the dancers and ensemble cast move on stage. You trail behind Jane and the rest of the dancers as you dance on stage.

Your muscle memory kicks in and you become Christine. You move across the stage as Christine. You sing as Christine.

As the show progresses and as you change in and out of costumes, you get closer and closer to All I Ask of You.

Off stage, you quickly change into another one of Christine’s gorgeous dresses. You run on stage and Harry’s not too far behind. You grab at his shoulders as the music starts and the two of you begin singing.

The two of you move together perfectly on stage and his touch lingers. It makes your heart race as you approach the lyric right before you’re supposed to kiss him.

“Say you love me,” you sing to him as Harry reaches to hold your face. Harry smiles gently and brushes a stray curl out of your face.

“You know I do,” Harry sings back to you. Your hands squeeze each other’s tightly and you take a careful breath inward as Harry leans in to kiss you.

The music roars in your ears as his mouth meets yours. You cling to him as Harry spins you around the stage with your mouths still together in a loving, passionate kiss between Christine and Raoul.

The audience cheers when the song finishes and you kiss Harry two more times before the curtains close for intermission. You quickly run off stage with the rest of the ensemble cast and change into a new dress before running to the bathroom. Kelly is hot on your heels and helps you with the overflowing fabric before you hurry back to your dressing room for her to touch up on the wig and your makeup.

Harry returns to the dressing room and Zoe and Bridget touch up his hair and stage makeup, quickly fastening the microphone in the right place. He takes a few gentle sips of water and watches you sit back against your chair as Kelly fixes the fallen curls on the wig before placing the crown on top of your head.

The five minute warning bell rings and both you and Harry hurry back to the stage. You shake out your nerves. There’s only 45 minutes left of the show. It’s okay. You can do this.

Harry reaches for your hand and you nearly pull away when you realize you have to hold his hand as you go on stage. He squeezes your hand tightly before leading you on stage.

Music rings throughout the theater. Harry holds you securely as you dance and go through the scene.

Time flies and before you know it, you kissed Harry for the last time on stage for the night before curtain call. The last song fades out and the audience begins to clap and cheer for the cast and crew.

Harry’s hand leaves yours as he goes for his curtain call. The audience screams and claps in admiration for him, of course. He’s Harry Styles for crying out loud!

Then it’s your turn to run out and bow in front of the audience. You take great pride in knowing that the audience was significantly louder for you than for Harry, and he’s the superstar.

Once the curtains close, you reach for Harry. You squeeze his hand and give him a hug. “You did amazing, Harry,” you compliment. “Congrats on finishing your first Broadway show.”

He grins at you. “Thank you. That means the world to me coming from you.”

You smile again and the two of you walk together towards your shared dressing room. Kelly and Mandi are talking with the women in charge of Harry’s makeup, hair, and costume when the two of you arrive. Kelly and Mandi both give you congratulatory hugs before you settle down in your chair.

Kelly quickly and carefully takes the wig off your head and sets it down. She works with the wig cap and unclasps the pins to your hair. She takes it off and you sigh in relief, leaning back in the chair as she combs through your hair.

You take off your stage makeup in record time. You feel like your pores can actually breathe now.

“Here’s your dress!” Gretchen exclaims, entering the room. You gently take it from her and gasp. It’s a gorgeous black dress with beautiful lace and embroidered flowers of a variety of colors.

Kelly helps you change into the dress and fixes your hair. Jane comes into the room wearing a yellow dress. She grins and steps to the side. You scream excitedly when your brothers step into the room.

You tackle the two of them into a hug. They laugh and Gretchen chastises you. “Don’t ruin the dress!”

“What’re you doing here? Mom said you were busy, especially with Molly!” you tell them as you stare at your brothers.

“And miss your premier? No way,” Garrett laughs as your sister in law comes into view with your three year old niece in her arms.

“Auntie!” Molly shouts, reaching for you. You immediately take her in your arms and shower her with tickles and kisses. “You look like and sing like a princess!”

“Thank you, baby,” you tell her. “I missed you so much. I’m so happy you’re here with your mommy and daddy.”

“Me too!”

Jeff walks in with Glenne and Harry’s suit in his arms. You scratch at your arm and Garrett glares at Jeff and Harry. Your little brother Nolan does the same and they cross their arms over their chest. You didn’t anticipate having to put yourself between your brothers and Harry.

“Garrett, Nolan, you remember Harry,” you introduce them to each other once more.

“How could we forget,” Nolan responds bitterly. You glare at him as Molly clings to your neck. “Nice job, though.”

Harry smiles uncomfortably and you hand Molly back over to your brother. You quickly say your goodbyes to your family before they leave the theater for the hotel. You gather your things together as Harry changes into a pink suit.

“Gretchen and I think that the two of you should arrive at the after party red carpet together,” Jeff tells you and Harry. “Y’know, since you’re playing love interests. It would create good publicity.”

Your eyebrows crease together in confusion as you stare at Jeff. “I thought you didn’t want the columnists to speculate? If they found out that we have history, they’ll have a field day. They’ll do anything to try and link us together as a couple.”

“That’s not the reason why I think you should go together. Just show them that you get along with each other off stage. Some are starting to speculate a strained off stage relationship between the two of you,” Jeff replies.

You scoff and roll your eyes at him. Of course they are. Jeff doesn’t want to make it seem like Harry is hard to work with or a diva. It’s all about protecting his image. “Fine.”

The two of you leave the dressing room together and walk out the back door where the limousine driver was waiting. Screams immediately reach your ears the moment you and Harry step out of the theater together. Cameras flash at the two of you and you’re immediately sent into a daze. You stumble back into Harry and he carefully guides you to the vehicle. His hand finds yours as he blocks the cameras from your view.

He opens the door for you and you climb inside. He quickly shuts the door and you carefully pull your hand out of his grasp and set it on your lap. The driver pulls out of the alley and takes you and Harry to The Plaza Hotel for the after party.

“Is it always like that when you leave places?” you ask after a few minutes of silence on the road. “Fans screaming at you and people taking photos of whoever you’re with?”

“Yeah, I suppose. I’m used to it though. ‘M sorry you had to go through that. It can be overwhelming if you’re not used to it,” he answers.

You hum and fall into another awkward silence. You arrive at the hotel ten minutes later and the driver opens the door. Harry gets out first and screaming fills your ears again. He reaches into the car and holds out his hand for you. You hesitantly take his hand and he squeezes it reassuringly.

He helps you out of the car and shuts the door behind you. His hand wraps around your torso and you momentarily forget that he’s your ex boyfriend. The feeling of his hand settling on your waist feels strangely comfortable, almost as if you’ve missed the feeling. You swallow hard and one of the event workers guides the two of you to the start of the red carpet. You walk on together and pose for the photographers until you’re pulled away for individual shots and interviews.

“You were absolutely fabulous tonight, Y/n!” a reporter compliments you. “How does it feel to work with someone like Harry? Is it any different than when you shared the stage with John?”

“Thank you!” you grin at her. “It was definitely intimidating at first, considering his level of fame and stardom, but he just wants to be treated like everyone else. I have to help him here and there since he’s new to Broadway, but he’s a fast learner.”

It goes like that for a while. Reporters compliment you and then immediately ask you what it’s like to work beside Harry. Now your own accomplishments are being overshadowed by his stardom. It bitterly reminds you of the break up.

When you make it inside the hotel and into the ballroom, you make a beeline for the bar and order a Jack and Coke. You find your seat beside Jane and you cheers before taking a generous sip of your drink. Harry doesn’t join you until dinner starts.

Everyone at the table makes small talk as you eat when Kendall takes the empty seat next to Harry. Great. Just what you needed. Kendall says her hello’s before she turns her attention back on to Harry. You nudge Jane under the table when you realize that she’s glaring at her.

You stand up and head to the bar to get more drinks. You just wanted the after party to go by as fast as possible. You don’t want to be near Harry, and you certainly don’t want to be near Kendall. You return to the table and Harry leans towards you.

“What?” you ask him.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Harry. Just leave it alone,” you mumble.

He looks like he wants to argue, but lets it go. He knows better than to start a fight with you when Jane won’t hesitate to cause a scene.

Music starts and Jane grabs your hand, pulling you to the dance floor. You drink, laugh, and dance together. You don’t notice Harry watching you.

After some time, you and Jane are both drunk on the dance floor. You can’t seem to control your giggles as you sing and dance. You stumble towards your table when Harry catches you before you fall.

“You okay?” he asks, helping you to your feet. He pushes hair out of your face.

You smile drunkenly and nod. “Perfect, H,” you answer, swaying on your feet as Harry struggles to keep you up straight.

He laughs. “You’ve had too much to drink, darling. Let’s get you to your room.”

You pout, whining at him. “No! I’m having fun. Leave me alone!”

Harry gently guides you to your dinner table and grabs your bag. He helps you out of the ballroom and into the hotel elevator. Your head rests on his shoulder.

“Why are you helping me?” you ask him softly. Your warm breath hits his skin and it makes him shiver.

Harry shrugs. “I dunno…. I think there’s always going to be a part of me that always wants to look out for you. I think that’s why.”

You hum and the elevator doors slide open. You step out, holding Harry’s hand as you walk to your room. He fishes through your bag for the room key.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

The door clicks open and he tugs you inside. “I think there’ll always be a part of me that always wants to be with you, despite how things ended between us,” you confess drunkenly, sitting on the bed.

Harry stares at you with wide eyes and your eyes linger on his lips. Your hand reaches for his tie and you tug him towards you.

Without a second thought, you kiss him.

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