#// this has been sitting in my drafts since forever

[ash-muses]

(OOC - Update #17)

Hello everyone! Just a little update since it's been a while. ♡

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate and I hope everyone has a wonderful upcoming weekend! :D

Just so everyone knows, my sleep schedule switched again, so I apologize in advance. What that means is chaos (probably more for me than you, but still)! So, sometimes you'll get messages from me at weird hours. You might also get replies that make no sense or have typos, depending on how late it keeps me up.

Slowly but surely, I'm working on getting replies out. I've been focusing on older threads and asks that I had sitting in my inbox, so I should have some of those out soon (and I'm sorry it has taken me some time, but I hope you enjoy the responses! <3). The next ones I'm going to be working on are listed under the cut, along with an activity check in.

At the very end, there's a mention of pet loss — please skip over that if it's triggering for you (post is also tagged, but it's a brief mention). I wanted to address that because I know I have a mutual who it triggers, so I just want them and everyone else to be okay.

Please let me know if you don't want me to tag you for the reply list. This is usually just the easiest way for me to let everyone know at once. Thanks! (:

Replies To-Do:

@swanprincessodette

@sigynoffidelity

@animnerd

@byondtheveil

@ghostsandmirrors

@bdkrp

@meaningful-negativity (I think it's my turn for Adrian? I'll have to double check)

@honorarystripes (I did your response, just have to find the link for you and send it again <3)

I'll also be trying to message people back either today or tomorrow, depending on what the holiday has in store for me.

On another note, this blog has reached 98 followers, so a big thank you to everyone who has stuck around and those who are just joining! I'm glad to have so many awesome mutuals and I've really enjoyed interacting with everyone in the community so far. :D

Also this screenshot might explain why it takes me forever to sort through drafts, especially when it makes me refresh every time I change something *sob*

As for my last update, my to-do list hasn't budged due to some personal issues going on in my life. Some of you know already, but at the beginning of November (a few days after I came back from my hiatus), I lost one of my pets and I'm still having a hard time; that's part of why I hadn't responded to messages or RPs for a little. Most of you already have a relationship with me outside of our RPs if you've been here for a little while, but some of you are new and I don't want anyone thinking I'm ignoring them or that I'm not interested in our RP. I will get back to you, even if it takes me some time (and thank you for your patience, you guys are amazing <3)

[jtspaderstills]

my litol bean again🤏🏻🐻

[lavandulawrites]

About ur recent post (with an escaped darling)...It got me thinking. What if (reader) ran away from Cyno to get rid of his bad jokes?

Hahah the thought of that is absolutely hilarious😭

He would at first not understand why you ran away. Maybe you just wanted some freedom (but why in earth would you want that?), but he would soon realise why. And when he does he would be so pressed. He would chase you down why asking why you didn’t find his wordplay jokes funny. To think that you have no humour at all saddens him (because who doesn’t love dad joked?!).

When he finally catches you he would still a little pissed, but he would still coo at you oh so gently. And most importantly, he will get you to live his jokes.

Cyno after he finds out his darling doesn’t like his jokes

[bertoyana]

funniest thing to #Me about the use of charles' telepathy in charles' and erik's relationship in the prequels is how both of them suck SOOO bad at using it LMAOOOO

like, you'd think having a telepath in the dynamic would actually help things along with the communication, but they are both USELESS at making use of it

charles will use it to crossdress erik and tell angel how much he wants to fuck him and erik will use it to tell charles how much he wants to be controlled, but that's ALL they use it for. it's not even horny or funny anymore it's just SAD, man. they suck so bad at it

(the only time they ever make good use of it is when charles unburied one of erik's memories with his mother, and that's it)

erik just automatically assumes charles knows everything and that he knows WHY erik does the things he does (because charles is in his head, so he MUST know, right?) and charles automatically assumes erik understands the hidden meaning of every single thing he says (because erik is also in charles' thoughts, so he SHOULD know, right?)

(wrong. they are both stupid and they will keep going in circles for 30 years straight)

like. take their first interaction in xma as an example

(on the other hand, i don't even want to think about the "you are looking in the wrong place" line because it makes me want to k1ll myself in front of the writers)

they are in each other's heads right now, and yet they are not even LISTENING to each other, they are just going in circles because both of them are too wrapped up in erik's own grief to actively try to hear what the other is trying to say. and while you can tell charles is hurting for erik and wants to help him, he's probably not going about it the best way

also if you pay attention at the start of the scene, when erik feels charles in his mind he just... looks confused, curious maybe, as to why charles is there, but he doesn't get angry or defensive straight away. he just lost his family for the second time (simon kimberg i'm in your walls) so he's probably even welcoming the only familiar thing he still has left.

he doesn't get defensive UNTIL charles starts talking and just kind of... also starts putting his own foot into his mouth. bless his heart.

and the thing is, while they get interrupted by apocalypse... being there lmao, i don't think this would have pan out any different if it was just the two of them. as i said, they are not listening to each other. charles means well but he's not really listening to what erik is trying to tell him, and in response to this erik is rejecting any type of help charles wants to give him.

and we know apocalypse was using erik's grief (about magda and nina, about the camps) to manipulate him - *we* as an audience know that, but back in this scene, charles doesn't even NOTICE apocalypse. and this, plus the fact that as we've established, they SUCK at trying to listen to each other and communicate, just brings the entire thing to failure.

(also imagine being the most powerful telepath in the world and being too focused on your best friend to notice the god standing a few steps away from him... which could mean nothing)

(mind you. they are literally in each other's heads rn. they can hear what the other is thinking and feeling. AND YET)

and it's even funnier (no) how they are even WORSE without charles' telepathy. take as an example, both of their fights in the plane in dofp

from charles' point of view, erik was the one that left him. erik literally and physically LEFT him in cuba, took the only teleporter there was and left charles to bleed out (lmao). meanwhile, from erik's point of view, he might have left first physically, but he only did so after charles rejected him. so, from HIS point of view, charles was the one to pull away FIRST. when he told him they didn't want the same thing (rejecting erik's ideals and by thus rejecting erik himself as well)

(and charles also let erik to rot in prison for 10 years so he could be also referring to that lmao)

this also brings me to my other point. which is something that i do think is pretty much ignored by everyone, but to be fair, it's also ignored by the movie so,

and it's the fact that the movie establishes that erik has been isolated for 10 YEARS. again, we as the audience know that charles has been struggling for the past 11 years, we know he did all he could for the mutants and we know he's been struggling, and we also know he's been using the serum because he couldn't stand the voices.

mind you, erik doesn't know any of this. not only because he's been in prison for 10 years (and i doubt they let him keep up with the news) but also because charles doesn't tell him any of this (fair)

and the last thing erik said to charles before they parted ways in cuba was that they wanted the same thing, which charles denied.

so from erik's point of view, all that he knows is that charles promised him all those years ago that he wasn't alone, and then he rejected erik in cuba, sent him away, and then proceeded to give up on erik and on their cause by doing nothing when the mutants were being tortured and experimented on. and he started using the serum and living with hank like a normal human being, sacrificing his powers and 'betraying' their cause.

ofc none of this is what actually happened, and *we* know that. but erik doesn't. and for some reason??? that i find extremely hilarious??? no one ever BOTHERS to correct erik's assumption, lmao. also none of this ever comes up again in the movies which to me just means erik went on believing that charles just briefly gave up on their cause for 10 years LMAOOO

okay, moving on bc i still have things to yap about

the other plane scenes comes in. erik shows up with the chessboard, they actually DO talk a bit and erik tells him he didn't mean to kill jfk (can't believe i wrote that down these movies were insane) and then they settle to play chess. AAAND this scene comes in

and he apologizes for SHOOTING charles, because he never meant to hurt him, and he does regret that. but he's not apologizing for leaving, because, once again, from his point of view, charles left HIM

and then charles hits him with the most pathetic saddest wettest expectant look in existence (james mcavoy you are insane) because he thinks erik is going to apologize for leaving

and then erik hits him with this LMAOOO

and charles realizes erik is apologizing for shooting him (something i'm pretty sure charles didn't exactly blame him for? his biggest accusation was that erik abandoned him)

and you can see charles literally and figuratively backtracking and shutting down immediately AGAIN.

(because, again, charles thinks erik left him, and erik should apologize for that, but from erik's pov? charles rejected him, he pulled away FIRST so he wasn't the first to abandon the other. charles was)

(they both are wrong and right in a way. they also don't tell each other any of this)

then it's erik's turn to give charles the wettest and saddest look known in mankind, charles shuts down, refuses to even look at erik, he changes topics and erik lets him.

(they never talk about this again, btw)

(it probably blew up in their faces in genosha. i just know they make everyone's life miserable as hell in there . god bless)

anyways, i'm sure someone smarter than me could make a more interesting analysis of how you can tell they do genuinely care about each other, but their failing to communicate properly just brings them to their fall down over and over. especially because it's something that keeps blowing up in their faces all the time in the prequels. something something the failure of telepathy something.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[star-centric]

Dazai as a househusband would make you late to work almost every day.

He really isn’t trying to (maybe), but how could he let you leave so easily just after one kiss? He’s already pouting when you’re dressed and halfway out the door before he pulls you in for a goodbye kiss, your lips soft and inviting as always. It’s always just a promise of “just one more”, but one soon turns to two, which turns to three-

It’s hard to pull yourself away, sinking deeper into his hold as his fingers find and dance their way on your waist. It’s easy to get lost in it-until your phone starts blaring with your “I’m late” alarm, which has you pressing your lips clumsily against his really for the final time, yelling out an I love you before racing out the door, refusing to look back at his cute pout. Just a glance would make your steps falter and end up back in his arms (you would know, you fell for it more than once).

You don’t know how or why you keep falling for this (you do know the reason why, you’re just weak when it comes to him and you really don’t want to leave without some more kisses either).

[adrianfridge]

3x02 // 5x05

[aceghosts]

1- Write about your ship cuddling into bed together after a long and tiring day. + Rooney and Yori?

Thanks for this one! This turned out rather short but very fluffy.

[Prompt List]

Summary: Rooney and Yorinobu cuddle in bed and chat after a long and tiring day, especially about dinner with some old friends. Words: 1.2k words Content Warnings: No warnings apply. This is just straight up fluff.

Taglist (Opt In/Out): @bbrocklesnar, @sergeiravenov, @alexxmason, @voidika, @imogenkol,

@strangefable, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @tommyarashikage, @theelderhazelnut, @carlosoliveiraa,

@cassietrn, @direwombat, @derelictheretic, @cloudofbutterflies92

Rooney sighs contentedly, staring at the warm, comfortable-looking bed adoringly. They had been looking forward to crawling into bed all night. “If I did not know better,” Yorinobu teases with a soft smile, “I would think you are only with me for my bed.”

 “I might be,” They tease back with a smirk on their face, crawling into the bed on the left side. Rooney always takes the left side, closest to the door, preferring to put themself between Yorinobu and any points of entry. Between him and anyone who might want to hurt him.

The mattress is far softer than they’re used to, far softer than they normally like. (After many years sleeping on a cot or in uncomfortable places in general, Rooney prefers a firmer bed.)  But Yorinobu prefers his mattresses soft like he could sink into them, and considering this was his bed, Rooney wasn’t going to argue with him. What really matters is that he is getting into bed with them.

Yorinobu climbs into bed on the other side as Rooney pulls the plush cream comforter over themself, the weight a soothing pressure. As soon he is underneath the covers, Yorinobu seeks Rooney, spooning with them. His left hand finds its way to their hip, sliding underneath the black fabric of their tank top. He rests his hand in the dip of their hip, thumb lazily tracing patterns in their skin. Meanwhile, Rooney plays with his hair, fingers gently teasing his short black hair. Yorinobu yawns, a content smile on his face as the duo lay in bed, weary from the long day behind them. “How did your meetings go today?”

He frowns. “Too long. Too boring.”

Ah, it was that type of day. “I’m sorry,” They sympathize, “that really sucks.”

“It does,” Yorinobu confirms, “Some like to hear the sound of their voice, never getting to the point. Or they repeat the words of my father, marionettes on a string.”

Rooney winces in sympathy. “Oh, Yorinobu…”

“Enough. How did your day fare?”

“Frustrating.” Rooney felt like a dog chasing their tail, every lead they followed seemed to fizzle out, “None of my leads worked out.”

“You will find them,” He says it so sincerely, that Rooney is tempted to believe him, “You always do.”

“Yeah, I hope sleep will give me a new perspective.”

Yorinobu smirks. “If sleep does not help you, perhaps I can.” Rooney groans affectionately at his innuendo, rolling their eyes as he laughs.

Silence permeates the room, and Rooney relaxes, this being one of the few places they could. They close their eyes, weariness weighing down on them.

“What did you think of our dinner with Alexandre and Marion?” Yorinobu asks, Rooney opening their eyes as he breaks the silence. Alexandre and Marion Garnier were high-ranking members of the Arasaka Corporation, specifically in the European branch, and allies of Yorinobu. Alexandre was a former French General while Marion had worked in diplomacy, easing tensions between Europe and Japan. Yorinobu continues, “They were delighted to see you.”

Delighted was an understatement. Rooney had few fond memories during their time at Arasaka, Yorinobu occupying most of them. However, Rooney had missed Alexandre and Marion, and the Garniers had clearly missed Rooney too. Rooney first met the couple when they were attending a dinner party with Yorinobu, early when the two were straddling the line between friendship and something more. Alexandre and Marion were distant at first, polite, but not overly friendly either. The Garniers most likely assumed that Yorinobu would tire of Rooney quickly, and it wasn’t worth getting to know them. (Not that Rooney could blame them. Yorinobu wasn’t known for his long-lasting relationships, something he had in common with Rooney, for very different reasons.) At the dinner party, Alexandre began a discussion on a recent military conflict. Rooney, naturally, jumped into the conversation, excited to talk shop.  Alexandre and Marion stared at them in curiosity, only to monopolize Rooney’s time for the rest of the night. Rooney enjoyed spending time with the Garniers, discussing politics, history, military strategy, and other topics.

 “Delighted?” They quip, running their hand through his hair.

Yorinobu laughs, a pleasured shudder running through him. “Alexandre and Marion always adored you. I thought they would ignore me the whole night.” Rooney remembers the way Alexandre and Marion lit up at the sight of them, ecstatic smiles as the duo got out of their chairs to greet Rooney. Marion hugs them tight, telling Rooney how good it was to see them again and how much she missed them. Alexandre shakes their hand firmly, but Rooney doesn’t miss his misty eyes as he gives them a fond look. When Yorinobu and Rooney are finally able to take a seat, Alexandre and Marion immediately assault Rooney with questions, mainly about what Rooney had been doing after they left Arasaka. (There had also been a few pointed questions about Rooney and Yorinobu’s relationship, mainly if the pair were back together.)

“I was afraid they were going to do that too.” Although, Rooney couldn’t be too mad. It was nice to talk with Alexandre and Marion. Every time they look over at Yorinobu, he watches them with fondness, a slightly smitten smile on his face, arm resting on the back of their chair, hand on Rooney’s shoulder. It makes their heart melt a little, knowing they feel the same way about him. “I really did miss the Garniers.”

“They missed you. Alexandre and Marion were devastated when you left; they wanted to find you. I threatened them to leave you be.” Rooney looks away guiltily, knowing the Garniers had not been the only ones devastated by their departure. They still remember the heartbroken look on Yorinobu’s face as he watches them choose the military over a future with him. “Rooney,” Their eyes meet his brown ones, “What did Alexandre say to you before we left?”

Rooney remembers the way Alexandre beckoned them over, out of earshot of Marion and Yorinobu. ‘Shepard, it is rare to get a second chance,’ Alexandre looks away from them, towards Marion with love in his eyes, ‘especially when it is with someone you care about. Do not be a fool and make the same mistake twice.’ “Alexandre said that I had second chance, something that most people don’t get, and I shouldn’t make the same mistake.”

“What did you say to him?”

“That I won’t. I don’t make the same mistakes twice, and I’m going to make the most of it this time.” Rooney’s hand leaves his hair, tracing the edge of his face. Alexandre was right; they should not be so foolish this time around. “Yori, I love you,” a swell of affection rises within them, “I want this to work; I don’t want to lose you again.”

He smiles, letting out a genuine laugh. “You and I got the same lecture tonight,” He pulls them closer, his leg slotting between theirs, “I love you too.” He presses his lips against Rooney’s lips, a soft kiss. He tastes like the wine the group drank all night and the tiramisu the pair shared for dessert. Rooney deepens the kiss, pouring all the unsaid words into the kiss. Rooney is going to make this work; they can make it work. They’re going to find a way to protect Yorinobu and save V from the Relic. 

[blacktwiste]

The Last Hours (2020 - 2023)

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

infirmary incident nursezai. because i have brainworms

little bonus based off evers ♡

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

The way Chloe Gong pulls off fake deaths the way she does is an amazing testament to her skill as an author.

Usually fake deaths cheapen the blow of losing a character. You have to go through all of the emotional turmoil of losing a beloved character and watch everyone mourn them only for everything to be okay because actually they were kind of integral to the plot and the author needs them but also they also wanted to make the book sad for a little bit but hey everything is okay now!

But Chloe Gong doesn't do this. She gets you invested in what you usually know from the start is a doomed story. She makes you very desperately want to believe that the character that you know is going to die won't die. And then. She kills them.

And it's horrible. You mourn for them. You have to watch the other characters react to the death. But most of the time, it's a fake death. And even if you know or suspect this from the beginning, it still hurts, often just as much, if not more, than it would if the death were real.

And not just because of the way she writes grief, which gets more and more painful with each new book she releases. But instead of killing off a character for a quick gut punch and bringing them back because they were actually way too important to kill and she needs them for the plot, she uses fake deaths to create these absolutely insane scenarios that are often, at least in my opinion, more painful then just killing off the character.

When Marshall fake died, for example, she could've just had him die and forced Juliette to deal with the grief and guilt of killing her friend as well as the implications of Marshall's death for her relationship with Roma plus everyone else's grief and then created a weird situation where Roma can just,,, get over her killing Marshall and still like her. Instead, she creates this absolutely insane situation where Juliette is still grieving for the loss of her relationship with Roma, and Roma and Ben are grieving for Marshall all with Marshall still being alive. And rather than just using Marshall as a plot device to be sacrificed to make the other characters more interesting, she makes him more interesting as well. She forces him to watch as Benedikt and Roma grieve for him, making his relationship with both of them, as well as Juliette more interesting in the process.

And then when Roma and Juliette fake died at the end of OVE, even if you suspected it, it being fake doesn't take away from the pain very much, especially knowing what happens in Foul Lady Fortune. Alisa, whose only real family was arguably Roma and Benedikt, is left behind to raise herself and she is too afraid to check to see if Roma and Juliette are really dead. Because if they are dead, then she's truly alone, clinging onto the false belief that hope won out while everything she ever knew disintegrates around her. Plus, even though Benedikt and Marshall figure out pretty quickly that the death was fake, they're still forced to cope with the grief and guilt of having had a hand in the situation and forced to flee the country with only each other, thrust into a world where their best friends are dead and the hope that they are relying on to get themselves away from everything is based on the same sense of hope that ultimately lead to the "deaths" of Roma and Juliette. And then there's the cruelty of the sense of responsibility Rosalind feels for their deaths. And how after they died, she became deathly ill, but like them, was inexplicably saved. But she can't move on from their deaths and spends every waking hour and every unsleeping night of her immortal life trying to put the broken world they left behind back together. And Celia sees Alisa and Rosalind regularly. As she watches two people who she cares about immensely suffer for years after the deaths occurred, she can't say anything. Even though her first loyalty is to her sister, she's forced to watch Rosalind grieve and become a ghost of a person who seems to derive purpose solely from the pursuit of an impossible mission. And Roma and Juliette, who so deeply wanted to make the city better are forced to watch as things get worse and worse and the people that they seemingly sacrificed everything to save continue to suffer.

In Foul Lady Fortune, the fake deaths are a little different. So far, the only characters who have fake died are Dao Feng and Lady Hong, the later of which falls into this trope a bit more loosely. In Dao Feng's case, it leads to worry then betrayal on Rosalind's part. Her worry was all for nothing, and she's once again put in a place where one of the few people she dared to care about has left her and likely never truly cared about her in return (at least as of the end of FLF). Assuming that he did genuinely care about her based on As You Like It, I am very interested to see how this ends up playing out.

Lady Hong's case is somewhat similar. Although we never really think with absolute certainty that Lady Hong died, Orion suspects that his father could have done something to her and has no concrete explanation for her disappearance. He grieves her absence even though her relationship with him was always iffy at best. Only to find out that she never cared for him as anything other than a tool for her to take advantage of. Like Rosalind, he is left feeling used and as if all of his grief and pain were for nothing.

(Hiding the part below this because of huge Immortal Longings spoilers)

In Immortal Longings, you know that either Calla or Anton is going to have to die at the end because of the structure of the games. And as their relationship progresses, you dread the resolution more and more. You want a fake death. You want them to find some hole in the rules that will allow them both to survive. And Calla comes up with a plan that allows this. She gives you false hope. She lets you cling to the idea that the horrible ending you can so clearly see coming won't happen. And then that hope is snatched away, and you're even closer to the ending. And you know what's coming. You know that Anton has to die. And then the final crumb of hope is snatched away from you and they're in the ring together. And just when it's too late, Anton tells Calla that they could run for the wall together. He's finally willing to set aside Otta Avia, without who they wouldn't even be there in the first place. But it's too late. Because this is bigger than either of them. And Calla knows that she has to kill him. And she sinks her knife into his back in some of the most excruciating paragraphs I have read in my life. You see Anton realize that although he was willing to make a run for it with her, she has bigger plans. She isn't doing him a kindness by killing him first, and even though she may be planning on ending her own life as well soon, she cares more about killing King Kasa than she ever did about him. So when, at the very end, it is revealed that Anton somehow survived, it's somehow a million times worse than if he had actually died. Even though you so desperately wanted the book to not end in on or both of them dying, this isn't what you wanted. Now, he's alive and remembers just how willing she was to sink a knife through his back. And Calla must grieve for him all over again because even though he's alive, she surely can never truly have him back after what she did.

In conclusion, Chloe Gong is a legend and a genius. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk I guess.

[babygirlificationn]

Random doodles drawn on a friends ipad (i stole it). procreate is fun.

Featured: first semi-serious attempts at drawing my man Francis. its not perfect by any means but i still like it <3

[birrdies]

quietly burns

(683 words, extra scene from the fic ‘the survivor’ from my zombie apoc au)

Moonlight streaks in through the half-drawn curtains over the sink. The night is still young and endless, but Etho isn’t tired. These days, he often isn’t. His knees ache from standing all day and there’s a pain in his chest that’s only eased when he carefully sits on the edge of the couch cushion.

Soft snores chase away the pain like salve to a burn. It settles the restlessness in his bones, unravels the tension in his shoulders. He unspools. He sheds his boots and his coat. He sits in the darkness as he looks over Bdubs as he sleeps, curled tightly on a couch much too small for him.

“Why were you asleep on the couch last night?” Etho asks, the morning after the first time he finds Bdubs there. A warm mug in his hands.

Bdubs answers with a mouthful of powdered eggs. “Had to make sure you got back in one piece, didn’t I? Someone’s gotta take care of your sorry butt. I’ll stay awake next time, for sure.”

He hadn’t stayed awake. Nor did he the time after or the time after that. Each night, when Etho comes home with weary bones and exhausted eyes, Bdubs is here: curled on the couch like he’s made a permanent spot in the crease between the cushions. He snores peacefully, drool seeping into the fabric beneath his cheek.

Etho pulls a blanket over him. Force of habit. The worst of the winter is already over. But Etho does it anyway.

He thinks he should scold Bdubs for it. That he’ll mess up his back sleeping on an old, rickety couch like this. That it’s too cold in the living room with the drafty window. That Etho is perfectly capable of coming home to an empty, sleeping apartment.

But he doesn’t, nor does he think he can. Etho trades in silence like a croupier deals in cards. Reluctant to release the best ones. Eager to keep the most cunning hands to himself. Bdubs’ silence is not a profound one; it’s noisy, mostly full of snoring and sleepy mutterings. But it’s a silence Etho greets each night when he comes home. And maybe the most selfish parts of him bask in the idea that Bdubs does this just for him.

Idle fingers graze over the soft curve of Bdubs’ cheek. They ghost over the fringe hanging in his face. Another habit. Like fully appreciating the tiger only when its asleep and its fangs are retracted. Bdubs would never hurt Etho; that’s not what he’s afraid of. But his fear is something greater, a mirror turned in toward himself. Because Etho doesn’t get to have this.

He thinks if Bdubs were to admit it, to proclaim this is all he’s ever wanted, and it doesn’t matter what Ren or Martyn do or say, Etho would be able to offer nothing but silence. But fear. Because what is fear if not the greatest silencer?

It’s impossible to lose something you never had in the first place, but just as impossible to ignore something that’s already been set on fire.

So Etho swallows it. He indulges himself in these moonlit silences. In Bdubs’ unaware snoring and the fragile hope that maybe the next night, he’ll get to do it again. He lets himself burn in the maybes and the almosts. Because those might be all he gets, and who is he to ask for more?

If Bdubs would ask, maybe he’d be able to admit it. Maybe he wouldn't burn so quietly and endlessly. Maybe he’d be able to say he didn’t want to lose it— that he’d do anything to protect it.

But Bdubs won’t ask. He’s asleep and Etho burns, slow and quiet, beside him. This way, Bdubs won’t have to wonder. And Etho won’t have to say it outloud.

[chaoticspacefam]

(Miette voice (obvi)) “You abandon Khem Val?? You leave him on the ship like the droid?? Oh oh! Jail for little Sith! Jail for little Sith for ten thousand years!!”

He’s SO dramatic about being asked to wait on the ship, I love him 🤣🤣🤣

[patternedlantern]

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me And at every table, I'll save you a seat…

[metroidspeedrun]

🛒 👀 🤯 for those fic asks <3

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I love writing an outsider. I think I like writing both bitter outsiders and outsiders who are kind despite their circumstances. I love writing angst so so much because of it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I've been on the fence about writing an AU where Roy is raised by his mom. I was thinking of calling it "my heart walks around". I planned on writing it from her POV, but I'm not sure how to go about it yet. Without a name or a backstory, I've got kind of a blank slate to work with for her, which seems kind of tough. Hopefully, I can work something out because I'd love to write this fic. I want it to be the next one I write, though.

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Any kind of sci-fi or fantasy for sure. It involves so much worldbuilding and visuals and imagery for things that don't exist. Also, I get sidetracked and wish I could draw things to give visuals for the things I know I didn't describe well enough. Nothing ever gets done when I'm writing fantasy.