#// carrots in spaghetti is cursed content

[mxstball]

// If I find carrots in my tomato sauce or spaghetti I will

END YOU.

Thank you have a nice day.

(sugar is fine. helps counter the acidity of the tomato)

[marjansmarwani]

I am as I came

[Read on Ao3]

Characters: TK Strand, Carlos Reyes

Relationship: TK Strand/Carlos Reyes

Word Count: 2074

TK had had a hard day, but he’s determined not to let it show. He feels like a burden, so hides it. He pushes it down until he can’t anymore. He snaps, and Carlos happens to be in the way. All that is left is to pick up the pieces, and try to put them back together.

Day 2: “It’s okay to cry” + Comfort

Day 2 of @tarlosweek2020! We’re getting on the angst train now and will be here for most of the week. Don’t worry too much though - I love it when our boys are happy so they will be, in the end.

----

TK knew he wasn’t okay.  

There was something about today, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, where every single thing that happened seemed to happen to him. Where everything that happened just piled on. Everything somebody said seemed to bury him deeper under this pile of despair. He knew they were all just humoring him; he knew he was a liability that needed to be looked after. He knew that offers to help him with inventory meant that they didn’t trust him to do it, he knew that frequent check-ins during calls meant that they didn’t trust him to his own devices. He knew he was the problem that everyone else had to look out for.  

By the end of the day, he felt like his back was aching from the strain of carrying it all.  

At the end of the day, he left the station with no more than a strained smile in response to his team's goodbyes, their forced levity and faked politeness.  

He was a problem, they all knew it. They didn’t actually care about him, they didn’t actually like him. They were just being polite for appearances. He knew that with a cold certainty that had settled in his mind and wouldn’t leave.  

He left the station in a cloud of doubt and headed home. It wasn’t until he walked in the door that he started to relax, just a bit.  

At least until Carlos - wonderful, amazing Carlos - looked up from the pot he was stirring in the kitchen to smile at him. “Hey, how was work?”  

TK felt his genuine smile start to slip but he threw up a new one, a false one. This one was bulletproof. “Fine,” he answered lightly as he crossed the room. Carlos didn’t need to know; Carlos didn’t need this on his plate. Carlos didn’t need to be burdened by the fact that his boyfriend was a screw up that everyone hated.  

TK didn’t need him second-guessing his choices, wondering if TK was really worth the effort - he already knew that answer.  

He approached the counter and returned the kiss Carlos leaned over to give him. “What are you making?”  

“Cacio e pepe.” At TK’s bewildered look he chuckled and explained, “It’s basically just spaghetti with parmesan and black pepper, but it tastes amazing.”  

TK grinned, “I’ll take you word for it. Anything I can do?”  

Carlos pointed to the counter by the sink with his spoon, “could you finish cutting up the veggies for the salad? I got started on them but then the pasta was done and I got occupied by that…”  

TK rolled his eyes and patted his shoulder as he walked around him, “No worries, I think I can handle that at least.” He grinned at Carlos before approaching the space indicated and picking up the abandoned knife. He gathered the carrots and started chopping. He was doing pretty well too for someone who has been banned from ever using a kitchen unsupervised, he thought to himself. Maybe he wasn’t completely useless.  

He should have known better than to tempt fate. At that very moment when his mind was elsewhere one of the carrots rolled out of position and in his haste to grab it lost track of where the knife was until the blade came down squarely on his palm. He cursed loudly and let the knife fall to the counter with a clatter as he grabbed for his injured hand, pulling it away from the food before he contaminated anything with the blood spilling from the cut.  

Carlos was at his side in an instant, face furrowed in concern as he grabbed for TK’s hands and gently pried his good hand off of the injured on so he could see the damage. He let out a concerned noise when he saw the cut, and the amount of blood. “That looks pretty deep Ty,” he said lowly, “we should probably get you to the ER.”  

“No,” TK said with rather more force than he had meant to, “no,” he repeated in a more neutral tone, “it’s fine, I can take care of it. I just need some gauze and bandages”  

“TK…”  

“It’s fine Carlos,” he snapped, “I can handle it.”

There was stunned silence in the kitchen. When Carlos spoke again, his voice was colder. “Then don’t let me stop you. You know where everything is.” Then he dropped TK’s hand and walked away, returning to the pan of pasta and turning his back to TK.

TK cursed to himself, congratulating himself on another fuck up before he left the kitchen taking care not to let the blood now running down his arm drip onto the floor. He entered the bathroom and pulled the medicine cabinet open, pulling out the necessary materials with shaking hands. He didn’t understand why he was like this. Carlos was the one person he was sure liked him for being himself, and he couldn’t even manage to get this one right. Maybe it was this nagging feeling that if he ever let Carlos know; that if he ever truly saw the depth of the disaster that was TK Strand, that would be the end. And TK wouldn't even be able to blame him - who in their right mind would actually sign up for that?  

He fumbled with the box of bandages, struggling between a hand slick with blood and the tears clouding his eyes. He had screwed up the only good thing he had going for him, again. He was not made for happiness. The box slipped from his trembling grip and clattered to the floor. He let out a grunt of frustration and reached for the gauze instead. It came tumbling out as well, along with everything else on the shelf. It all rained down to the floor around him with an almighty clatter and TK just stared down at it.  

He was still standing there, just staring at the mess around him that seemed like an all too fitting metaphor when the door to the bathroom flung opened to reveal Carlos with a panicked expression.  

“Are you okay?” he asked hurriedly, “I heard a crash…” he trailed off as he took in the scene; the scatter boxes and bottles, TK in the middle; blood slowly dripping down his arm as he just stared down at the mess he had caused. “TK?” he asked cautiously, moving forward slowly with an outstretched hand, “Are you okay?”

TK tried to speak, cleared his throat, and tried again, “yeah...I’m...I’m fine.”  

“You don’t look fine,” Carlos observed. There was no malice in it, no teasing: just a statement of fact.  

“I am though, it’s fine, I’ve...got this under control.”  

Even as he said it he was aware of how ridiculous that sounded. He was bleeding and crying in the middle of the contents of Carlos’s medicine cabinet. He had nothing under control.  

To his credit, Carlos didn’t deny it. He shook his head and gently reached for TK’s injured arm, pulling him out of the debris and towards the edge of the tub where he pushed him into a sitting position. Then, without a word, he turned back to the mess on the floor and grabbed what he needed before coming back to TK and kneeling in front of him. He didn’t say a word as he gently took TK’s hand and used a wet washcloth he had grabbed to wipe the blood away. He continued his ministrations in complete silence, the only sound the rustling of the gauze and bandages he wound tightly around TK’s hand. When he was done he pulled it closer to examine his work.  

“You should keep it elevated for a while, and I want to check it in about an hour to make sure bleeding has stopped. If it hasn’t you’re going to the ER and that’s that.”  

He released TK’s hand and moved away, back towards the pile of things on the floor. He picked them all up without a word and placed them back on the shelf in the medicine cabinet. TK watched the whole thing with growing dread.  

“I’m sorry,” he said eventually. “I didn’t mean to...you shouldn’t have to clean up after me.” His vision was growing cloudy again and he angrily swiped the back of his uninjured hand across his eyes. Carlos looked up at the sound of his apology and saw him wiping away the evidence of tears. He stopped what he was doing and gazed at TK, expression furrowed in concern. Slowly he placed down the bottle he was about to return to the cabinet and crossed back over to TK, kneeling down in front of him again so they were almost at eye level.  

“I’m not going to bother asking you if you’re okay again because the answer to that seems pretty clear,” he said, voice low and even, “so why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

When TK didn’t answer Carlos reached out a gentle hand to brush a tear off of his face. “It’s okay to cry,” he said gently, “but I’d like to help you, if I can.”  

“It’s stupid,” TK choked out.  

Carlos shrugged, “Most things are. But if it matters enough to you to make you feel this way, then I want to know about it anyways.”

TK started at him. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment before TK broke the eye contact and shrugged, “It’s nothing really.”  

“Somehow I doubt that.”  

“It’s just...I spent all day feeling like an ass at work who everybody only tolerates because they have to and then I get here and immediately fuck everything up again. I’m just waiting to see how long it will be before you realize that I am a lost cause. And as much as I would hate that, you would be right to do it. You should just do it and get it over with.”  

There was silence for several minutes before Carlos whispered, “Ty…”  

TK shook his head and looked back down at his bandaged hand, “I’m a fuck up Carlos and we both know it.”  

Carlos’s hand entered his field of view as he gently took TK’s wrapped hand in his, running his thumb gently over the overlapping bandages. “You are not a fuck up Tyler Kennedy,” he said firmly. “You may be a disaster in the kitchen, but you are not a fuck up. You are a wonderful person with a big heart and a team that loves you like family. You are a good son and have a father that loves you more than anything else in this world. You are my kind, funny, incredibly handsome boyfriend who I love more than I have ever loved anyone before. You are a good person TK, and I love everything about you; even the fact that you are a disaster in the kitchen. It’s a part of you, and I love all of you. And I will remind you of that as often as I need to, as many times as I need to before you start believing it.”  

There was silence again as Carlos let his words sink in. He continued to run his thumb across the bandages, giving TK the time he needed to process. He was just about to prompt him again, make sure he was still coherent when TK’s voice interrupted the silence:  

“You are too good to be true Carlos, you know that?”

Carlos chuckled wryly, “And here I was thinking it was the other way around. I guess we both got lucky then, huh?”  

“Yeah,” TK said softly, looking up to meet Carlos’s gaze again, “I guess we did.”  

As he spoke he shifted his hand in Carlos’s grasp so that he could grip his as well. He squeezed it gently, all the while holding his gaze. He let a smile spread across his face and received one in return.  

When Carlos leaned forward he met him in the middle, sharing in a kiss that was soft and sweet, full of so many things that just couldn’t be said.

Yes, TK thought to himself even as they pulled away just enough to breathe in each other’s air, he was lucky. This man deserved the world and instead, he wanted TK. TK was glad to let Carlos have him - all of him, for as long as he wanted.

[Ao3]

[bluerighthand]

Sugar and Spice

Pairing: Tommy/Alfie

Summary: It’s Tommy and Alfie’s fifth anniversary. With Alfie away at work for the day, Tommy plans the perfect romantic meal. Unfortunately, between misbehaving ovens, disobedient vegetables and the occasional sabotage of his dog, things don’t quite go to plan. Luckily, Alfie loves him anyway. 

Notes: Hitting you with some domestic Alfie/Tommy fluff and awful cooking :) Big thank you to @whentommymetalfie for being my Horse Friend and helping me crawl outta my writing slump with fab ideas and pony pictures <3

Words: 6,755 (an arguably excessive amount)

“Tommy” Alfie whispered, tracing the shell of his ear. Though it pained him to do so, Tommy kept his eyes closed, shuffling a little further into the warmth of the duvet. He knew if he woke properly, Alfie would never leave. Not today. Alfie had made a fuss the night before, insisted he wasn’t going into the office, but Tommy had managed to talk him round.

It was cruel to make a man work on his anniversary; even crueller for Tommy to be the one who orchestrated the mild chaos in the office to get him away, but he had grand plans for the day. He needed an empty house, Alfie’s flowery apron and a lot of courage.

The mattress dipped as Cyril hopped on, Alfie trying to contain his laughter as he licked at his face. Tommy’s smile was obscured by the duvet. Alfie slipped away soon after that, with a beardy kiss to Tommy’s temple and a gentle ruffle through his hair. Tommy had half drifted away again, but was roused by the tell-tale crunching of gravel as Alfie’s car pulled away from the cottage. Tommy yawned, peeking an eye open to find Cyril’s face an inch from his own.

Once he’d recovered from his undignified shriek, he sat up, stretching, Alfie’s night shirt falling around his elbows. There was a note on the bedside table, and he grabbed it before Cyril could, grinning at the badly drawn love heart and Alfie’s familiar scrawl.

Happy anniversary sweetheart.

Five years. Tommy could hardly believe it. Would never have dared to, during those months of lingering touches, shy smiles and midnight conversations. But they were here now, away from it all in their own little cottage in the country. Tommy had his stables, Alfie had a vegetable garden, and Cyril had acres of fields to tumble around in.

They’d made it this far.

Cyril was padding around by the door, and Tommy let him out, grabbing some casual clothes from the chest of drawers. He planned to change into his suit later, not sure quite how messy his present would turn out to be. He’d done some cooking before, sure, like when Finn wanted eggs, or the pies he made as a child.

Technically those were mud pies, and had no business in the kitchen, but aside from the fact that Finn’s dinner had more shell than egg in and Aunt Pol had banned him completely after the fire incident, he felt he had a good base to get started on. He lived with Alfie now, and if there was one thing Alfie was good at (although Tommy was proud to say there were many, many things Alfie was an expert on), it was cooking. Which was where Tommy had got the idea from.

Five years was a long time after all, in this life, and he wanted to do something special for Alfie. Meaningful. He had a whole shelf filled with recipe books, and Tommy had been sneaking down to peer at them when Alfie was asleep, gradually forming his menu for a romantic anniversary dinner. Alfie would never suspect a thing; it was the perfect surprise.

Choosing what to make had surely been the trickiest part. Tommy didn’t want to be too ambitious, but at the same time, he had a whole day! If something went wrong, he could always just start again, he had more than enough ingredients. He’d have liked to have done a practice run, just to make sure everything was alright, but had decided not to risk it. He wanted it to be a complete surprise, and he was pretty sure Alfie would notice if all his vegetables disappeared and his chicken mysteriously vanished from the freezer. Although Tommy could probably get away with it by blaming Cyril, he decided he didn’t deserve that.

Even if he did chew on Tommy’s shoes.  

Arriving in the kitchen, Tommy pulled out some recipe books, as well as his handwritten notes about kosher food, and what he was going to make. They’d be having chicken, with a vegetable sauce, Alfie’s home-grown potatoes and a chocolate cake for pudding. Simple, but tasty, and healthy too; Alfie was always going on about the benefits of a rounded diet. Tommy usually sent a puff of smoke and a glare in his direction to make his view known, but he did listen sometimes. And sure, the healthy bit would be slightly counteracted by the chocolate cake, but it was their anniversary after all.

He had breakfast: a cigarette and an unbuttered slice of toast, before washing his hands and tying himself into Alfie’s apron. It was a little long on him, and if his brothers saw him in the pink flowery thing (that Alfie still insisted he bought ironically, though Tommy didn’t believe him) he’d probably die, but if he was going to do battle with the kitchen today he needed a uniform.  

He thought he’d start with the veggies: he needed to work up to the chicken, and this was just chopping and stirring right? He could do that. There were: carrots, onions, broccoli, celery, pepper, some herby…leaf things he didn’t know the name of but seemed important, and a strangely shaped purple vegetable that Alfie had previously informed him was an aubergine. After consulting the recipe, it was banished back to the cupboard. Tommy couldn’t deal with anything purple today.

The sauce recipe was already worrying him; it didn’t mention anything about water. And after the spaghetti fire incident of 1923, Tommy was loathe to miss out water from any cooking. He filled up a bowl anyway, placed it on the side, grabbing a knife to start chopping. What was first?

“1 ½ cupfuls diced outer stalks of celery” he read out loud to himself. Now that he actually had to do it, the idea of separating the inside from the outside seemed ridiculous. What was so wrong with the inner stalks? Surely he could just chuck a load in, and then- no, no, this was Alfie’s special meal. He had to do it perfectly.

Soon Tommy’s bowl was filling up nicely with veggies. The slices weren’t exactly even, which was frustrating him slightly, but he supposed once they became a sauce it didn’t matter so much. He liked to watch Alfie in the kitchen. He could chop an onion so fast, his hand was practically a blur. How did he do it? Tommy positioned his hands in a vague imitation of his boyfriend’s, and started on the onion. It wasn’t all so different from a razor, Tommy contemplated. And he’d been pretty damn good with a razor blade. He sped up, gaining confidence as he diced the onion in the opposite direction. Sure, he wasn’t as fast as Alfie, but he was really getting the hang of this-

“Shit” he cursed, dropping the knife and clutching his thumb, beads of blood welling up where he’d nicked himself. The bowl wobbled where it had been jolted by the sudden movement, teetering before spilling its contents over the counter.

“For God’s sake” Tommy muttered, sucking his thumb into his mouth as he tried to scoop the vegetables back into the bowl one-handed. The water sloshed over the sides of the counters, leaving Tommy with wet trousers and soaking the pages of the cookbook he’d been peering at. Cyril padded unheard into the kitchen at the disturbance, looking up at Tommy curiously as he flapped around, dragging a tea towel over the counter and attempting to rescue the sodden pages.

Cyril stopped just behind him to lap up the water, snuffling at the vegetables that dropped to the floor when Tommy tripped over him, inconveniently covering all the water with his body. Tommy closed his eyes, barely suppressing a frustrated scream as the cold water seeped through to his skin. Cyril licked at his fingers.

Ten minutes later, Tommy was changed, clutching a packet of cigarettes and determined to uphold the ‘no dogs in the kitchen’ rule. Cyril wasn’t happy about this, and pawed at the door, barking until Tommy eventually gave in and opened it. He dragged his favourite cushion in from the living room, flopping down onto it and watching Tommy with interest any time he caught a whiff of something.

Right, where was he: butter, oil, frying pan. Maybe he didn’t need the water after all. He should have it there though…just in case. He’d been sneaking glances at Alfie turning on the heat over the past few weeks, so he switched it on confidently, quite forgetting that there were different temperature settings in all the excitement.

Let the vegetables cook gently in their own juices, until they are tender.

Tommy wrinkled his nose, leaving the pan to its own devices while he retrieved the chicken from the freezer. His stomach sunk as he set the meat on the table. He hadn’t realised quite how frozen it would be. He blew hot air onto his fingers to warm them up again, poking at the dials on the oven. It should thaw out in there: there was plenty of time, he calmed himself, placing the chicken into the oven as the vegetables sizzled. Back to the sauce.

Fill one tablespoon with a combination of: crushed garlic clove, salt, pepper, and fine breadcrumbs, and add to sauce.

Which one was a tablespoon again? He couldn’t remember. Sounded like it should be large; as close to the size of a table as possible. None of the silver ones were really cutting it, maybe they didn’t have a tablespoon. His eyes fell upon the big ladle. A few scoops of that ought to be enough!

Look at me go, Tommy thought, filling up the ladle full of crushed garlic before tipping it into the sauce. His clothes were drying, he was problem solving, his dog was behaving and he was making a healthy home cooked meal for his boyfriend. Tommy hummed as he worked, some song Alfie had taken to singing in the kitchen. He liked to distract him sometimes. The feeling of Alfie’s arms around his waist, sneaking neck kisses and swaying him as he sang and a hot pan bubbled away in the background was heavenly.

Tommy couldn’t wait for Alfie to come home.

--

Two hours later, Tommy was less keen for his boyfriend’s return. Steam had curled his hair into an absolute state, and he brushed it out of his eyes as he surveyed the damage. Flour was covering the work tops, broken egg shells littering the floor and crunching underfoot. Tommy had managed to confuse sugar and salt, and baking soda and baking powder, meaning one half the kitchen was a ‘discarded chocolate cake’ zone, and the other was a mess of utensils and bowls filled with God knows what. He was running out of chocolate.

Worst of all was the chicken. He’d left it in the oven for hours, and it hadn’t so much melted the frosty covering of ice over its surface. He only realised that he’d actually turned up the hob instead of the stove when his first attempt at sauce had been burnt to a crisp all over the frying pan. He was now on the third batch (what happened to the second sauce is unspeakable), which had to be his last. Tablespoons, or more accurately: ladles, used up quite a lot of ingredients.

The sauce should be moderately thick, but not lumpy.

Tommy peered into the pan, frowning. This sauce looked more like green water, with great half melted lumps of veggies in. Maybe he just didn’t chop them small enough? He poked at the lumps with his knife, attempting to cut them down. His thumb gave a painful twinge, and he pushed that idea aside. It would be okay: he could fix it later, put it all in a bowl and do some stirring. Stirring solved everything. And though he wanted everything to be perfect, he knew the chicken was far more important. The oven was on properly now, and the damned thing had finally started to defrost. Tommy cast anxious glances at the clock, as Cyril watched the chicken through the glass, whining occasionally as the potatoes made alarming noises from their pan.

“You’ve got food there, and water. Don’t act like I don’t feed you” Tommy huffed. Cyril wagged his tail. Tommy sighed in resignation. “I’ve got to cook it first. Then you can have a bit”.

--

He had thirty minutes left, before Alfie was expected to arrive home. Ollie had called him from the office earlier, said he was just leaving.

“Stall him” Tommy had hissed down the receiver. He heard Ollie calling after Alfie, something about a lost dog near the canals, but the dreaded smell of burning had gotten Tommy off the phone before he could hear a response. The blackened chicken sat on the work surface accusingly. Tommy had cut into it, with rather more force than necessary, and was dismayed to find it uncooked on the inside.

How could it be burnt and raw at the same time? Had he just invented something? Surely things were either cooked, or they weren’t, but this chicken seemed to be both.

It was all very well creating new dishes the world had never seen before, but he’d rather this discovery hadn’t occurred on his bloody anniversary.Another glance at the clock sent him into a panic, chiselling away at the burnt parts of the chicken so he could whack the rest back into the oven at a high heat.

The kitchen was also a disaster: pots and pans everywhere, food all over the floor, his damp clothes hanging over the backs of the chairs. Feed Alfie awful food, and ruin his kitchen supplies, that’s how Tommy did anniversaries. With no time to clean properly, he started hiding the dirty equipment. Shoving bowls into cupboards, utensils behind stacks of books. Alfie would find a wooden spoon in his gardening boots a week later. He unfolded the new tablecloth he’d bought: white, with little flowers on (Alfie liked that sort of thing), throwing it over the mess of flour and God knows what else. Cutlery was scattered about hastily, placemats frizbied into position.

Everything was going so wrong but he wanted to make it pretty and perfect and there wasn’t enough time-

Breathe Tommy.

Ten minutes. He sipped a bit of the sauce into his mouth, and gagged slightly, dropping the spoon. What on earth…that didn’t taste like vegetables. It tasted like shit. How could he have messed up this badly?

The only way he could have done worse was if he’d just grabbed a whole pig and plopped it down on the table. At least this was kosher, or he bloody hoped it was anyway: his notes were completely ruined by the water. There were a lot of rules, and although he now knew all about the menorah and the Torah and the…horah, the kitchen was Alfie’s territory. Though on second thought, Alfie might be grateful for an excuse not to eat the damn thing.

Tommy fetched the chicken. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better. And that…wasn’t enough. This was supposed to be Alfie’s special meal, and what was he getting? Some badly cooked chicken, sloppy sauce and a pathetic excuse for a chocolate cake. Oh shit – the icing. All but throwing the chicken on the table, Tommy grabbed the tube, messily squeezing until the white icing appeared.

HAPPY ANNIV

And…he’d run out of room. Why didn’t he make a bigger cake for fucks sake- if he just added the other letters underneath it might look alright? No, it would look awful. He could blend it in? Start again? He rubbed at one of the clumsy letters with his spoon. It looked terrible. And Tommy didn’t have to be an expert to see that. God, what would Alfie think?

“Happy anniv to me” Tommy muttered darkly, shoving the cake back to the other side of the counter. Staring around at the kitchen, he could have cried. How could everything have gone so wrong? He plated up the main course, covering it with a cloche as soon as possible, if only to hide it from view. The potatoes were burnt and pathetic, the chicken looked disgusting and the sauce topped the whole thing off with a horrible greenish palette.

If he just…closed the curtains, lit a scented candle and scattered a few petals about the place like one of those sappy romantic dinners in the books Alfie was always going on about, would he even notice? Yes, was the answer to that. Yes he would.

It was a few minutes past Tommy’s estimated time, and he was tense, pacing, and unwilling to try and tidy up further or start anything new in case Alfie came home right at that moment. He busied himself with by violently ripping the petals off a rose he’d cut from the bush in the garden, placing them over the stains on the tablecloth.

He was crossing the room to put the stalk in the bin when he caught a glimpse of himself in the hallway mirror, stopping dead. He hadn’t changed. His hair looked like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, stains and splashes of food covered his shirt and Alfie’s apron, and chocolate had ended up all over his face.

Crunching gravel sounded from the driveway, and Cyril hopped up instantly, running to the window and barking excitedly. No. Alfie couldn’t see him like this. Tommy had plans. A suit, something nice underneath-

The car door slammed, and Tommy heard footsteps coming up the path. He did the only thing he could think of. Pulling the kitchen door closed, he darted up the stairs, shrugging off the apron and dirty clothes as he went. Tearing into his wardrobe he grabbed his suit just as Alfie’s key sounded in the lock. Frantically scrabbling with his buttons, he assessed the situation of his hair in the mirror.

“Tommy?” Alfie called. “I’m home”. Shit shit shit. There was nothing to be done. It was just a fluffy mess that wouldn’t be flattened. Trousers on, socks on, buttons up, jacket on, hair vaguely patted down- no, his collar was all bunched up, and this wasn’t the right jacket-

“Tommy, love?”. Tommy rested his forehead against the mirror, and breathed.

“You upstairs?”. A creak on the bottom step.

“I’m coming” Tommy called, voice cracking slightly. He stared at his reflection for a moment longer, and had that awful urge to just sink down to the floor and pull at his hair. But he opened the door instead, kicking aside his dirty clothes and hanging Alfie’s apron carefully on the back of the door.

He could hear the scrabble of Cyril’s paws on the floor, and smiled despite himself at the “oof” Alfie made when he presumably jumped up on him. It would be okay. He could make it up to Alfie. Hide all the mess and take him out to eat, buy him something nice tomorrow, light a few candles in the bedroom.  

Alfie was in the living room, coat discarded on the sofa as he bent down to pet Cyril. He looked up at Tommy’s approach, Cyril not assisting in his attempts to stand.

“There ‘e is. Happy anniversary treacle” said Alfie, holding his arms out for Tommy. He was smiling, but it looked a little off. Tommy could tell he wasn’t quite himself, and he was tense enough to know if anyone had upset Alfie that day they wouldn’t be getting away with it.

“Happy anniversary”. He leant up for a kiss. “How was your day?”. Alfie grimaced, and Tommy’s stomach twisted, fingers faltering as they stroked through Alfie’s hair.

“Not great, actually. I didn’t wanna leave you in the first place yeah, and then there was this lost puppy down by the canals, n’ I didn’t wanna be late but I jus’ thought about him all alone in the cold, so I had to have a look for him”.

Oh no. Oh no. Not only had Tommy fucked up Alfie’s anniversary meal, he’d also messed up his entire day.

“But I couldn’t find ‘im nowhere. Not a sign of the poor guy” he said sadly, scratching Cyril behind the ears. “Keep thinkin’ about him falling in, no one t’ help him”. What kind of boyfriend was he?

“Alfie” he started, reaching up for a hug. Alfie wrapped his arms securely round Tommy’s waist, nosing into his neck as he sighed.

“Sorry love, I didn’t wanna ruin-”

“Shh” said Tommy quickly. I’m the one that’s ruined everything. Cyril sat beside them, his excited panting from Alfie’s return calming them both somewhat, until they pulled back. “Alfie, I need to tell you- there was no dog”.

“What?” he asked, confused. “But Ollie said there’d been sightings, n’ I figured-”. Tommy thought to himself as Alfie continued to ramble. Damn Ollie, he could’ve used any excuse. This whole day had been a disaster, from start to finish. They should’ve just stayed in bed. How could he fix this? Could this even be fixed?

“They found the dog” Tommy blurted. Alfie stopped.

“They did?” he asked, face hopeful.

“Yeah. Um, Ollie, he rang just before you got here”. Alfie broke into a wide smile, lifting Tommy off his feet. Tommy swallowed his usual protests, leaning into the kiss as Alfie spun him round gently, some of the nerves leaving his stomach. Alfie loved him, he wouldn’t care that he was hopeless, right? He was carefully returned to the ground, but not for long, Alfie leading him to the sofa and pulling him down onto his lap. Tommy looped an arm around his shoulders, enjoying the closeness, and security of Alfie’s arm under his knees. Shame he’d ruined their anniversary.

“What’ve you got ‘ere?” said Alfie, turning Tommy’s face to the side and rubbing at something on his cheek. He frowned, before licking his finger as Tommy batted him off.

To his surprise, instead of questioning why Tommy had flecks of chocolate on his face, Alfie looked…shifty. “You’ve, err, you’ve found ma draw then. Look I was gonna tell you, but it just tastes so good n’-”

“Sorry, I’ve found your what?” asked Tommy. “Have you been hiding chocolate in our house?”.

“Hmm, mm” Alfie hummed to himself for a moment, realising his stash hadn’t in fact been subjected to one of Tommy’s household purges. Yet. “Just a draw” he said sheepishly. “It was on special offer see, and it would be stupid not t’ invest, ya know? I’m a business man after all, n’ you’ve got to take these opportuni-”. Tommy cut him off with a kiss. Alfie could have a whole bloody room full of chocolate if he forgave Tommy for today.

“So if you weren’t sneakin’ off with my chocolate” said Alfie conspiratorially, as Tommy rolled his eyes, “why’ve ya got stuff all over you? Yer hair’s all” he made circular gestures with his hands, “fluffy”. Despite Tommy’s silence, Alfie soon made the connection between his red face and the firmly shut kitchen door, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Tommy Shelby, ‘ave you been cooking?”.

“Cooking is one word for it” he muttered, grimacing slightly. Alfie didn’t hear him, too busy lifting Tommy off his lap and hurrying towards the door. Tommy almost tripped over in his haste to grab him, managing to catch Alfie around the waist and pull him to a stop.

“Did you make dinner?” he said, practically jumping up and down with excitement. He looked like Cyril when he found that six-foot branch in the forest.

“Yes” Tommy admitted grudgingly, edging sideways to block Alfie’s path to the door. He couldn’t bear to tell him.

“Can I see?” said Alfie eagerly, shuffling them towards the door.

“No” said Tommy, the word coming out harsher than he’d intended. Alfie stopped, slightly taken aback.

“Why?”.

“Because…” I’m useless. You’ll hate it. I failed. “It’s not…I haven’t…” he trailed off.

“Jus’ show me love, you dun’t have to be nervous” said Alfie, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Though it is kinda sweet you gettin’ all worked up over me present, isn’t it”.

“It is not sweet” Tommy insisted, extracting himself from Alfie’s arms and standing firmly in front of the kitchen door.

“Please? For me?” Alfie begged, turning his best puppy eyes on Tommy. It was unfair really, Tommy thought, as the door swung open. He couldn’t resist those eyes.

“I couldn’t- it’s not very-” Tommy sighed, “I tried”. His gaze fell on his pathetic attempt to lay the table, the rose petals already crumpling. If there was ever a time to just…crawl out of the window and find a corner of the stables to curl up in, it was now.

On the contrary, Alfie’s mouth fell open as he entered the kitchen. The curtains were drawn, but several candles filled the room with a warm glow. Petals covered the table, the work surface filled with plates of food, and Alfie felt a lump rise in his throat. Tommy hovered beside him nervously, and Alfie pressed kiss after kiss into his messy hair.

“Yer so silly, you know that?”. Tommy gave him a small smile.

“Don’t speak too soon. You haven’t had any yet”.

“Plate me up then chef” Alfie grinned, taking his place at the table and appreciating the sight of his boyfriend moving about the kitchen. It looked good on him. Tommy lifted the cloche from one of the dishes, waving a tea towel around to reduce the steam. He wavered in the middle of the room, inspecting the plate carefully.

“C’mere love”.

“You can’t eat this”.

“Come here”.

“I’m just going to-” he took a step towards the bin.

“Tommy, come here” said Alfie firmly. Sometimes you just had to take charge of a situation. What kind of a boyfriend would he be if he let Tommy throw away all his hard work? Tommy stood beside him, and Alfie gave his elbow a comforting squeeze. “You cooked for me” he said, and there was so much gratitude in his voice that Tommy just stopped for a moment. Let his grip slacken and Alfie pull the plate away. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Alfie’s face change the moment he realised it was all-

“I love it” said Alfie, beaming up at him. Tommy scoffed, throwing his towel down and trying to take the plate away. “No no no” he cried, grabbing it. “It’s mine!”.

“Alfie, it’s awful” protested Tommy, trying to pull the plate away without any of its disgusting contents slopping onto the floor. Cyril would lap it up without even knowing what disaster might befall him if he ate it.

“You’re taking away my fuckin’ anniversary meal” whined Alfie. He sounded like a child, and Tommy let go with a huff, but was unable to suppress his grin when a bit of sauce splashed onto Alfie’s shirt.

“Serves you right”.

“I dun’t care ‘bout me bloody shirt” said Alfie, rolling up his sleeves. “I wanna taste this food my love’s spent all day makin’ me”. Grabbing his fork, he speared some meat first, making sure to coat it with sauce before eating. Tommy actually winced as he swallowed.

“No, stop Alfie. You’re gonna get food poisoning”. Alfie waved him away.

“I want to eat it”.

“You’ve had a mouthful!”

“I want more!”.

“You can’t tell me you’re enjoying this?!”.

“Course I am, love. I know how much you hate cookin’. And food in general, really. An you’ve spent hours makin’ me a delicious meal, on the anniversary of the day our eyes locked n’ we-”

“Okay, okay, fine” said Tommy, raising his hands. There was no time for an Alfie ramble now, not when the food would probably go cold in about five minutes and taste even worse. There was still a little bit of steam, though that could be…fumes. No, no, it was definitely steam.

He poked at his own plate, salvaging a corner of unburnt potato and cautiously nibbling at a bit of chicken. It helped that it was the first thing he’d eaten since breakfast. Alfie talked, rambled about their years together and how much he was enjoying the food, and Tommy felt the tension drain from his shoulders. Even if Alfie was exaggerating, which he undoubtedly was, it was nice to hear. And despite the fact that Tommy almost had a heart attack when Alfie offered Cyril a bite of chicken, the meal otherwise went okay. Before he knew it, Tommy was clearing away the plates.

“There’s dessert too?” asked Alfie hopefully. Tommy nodded reluctantly, taking the covered dish from the work surface. He pulled back the cover a fraction, and stopped to peer inside before Alfie confiscated the container, setting it on the table.

“Ah, a mousse! That explains the chocolate ey?” said Alfie as he pulled off the cover.

“It’s a-”. Tommy stopped, gazing at the cake in mild alarm. It did indeed look like a mousse. His icing had been absorbed into a messy looking chocolate whirlpool. He’d only left it alone for an hour, how could this have happened? Food was fickle he thought to himself, dubiously digging a spoon into the mixture. It seemed to be more solid the further down he went, and he avoided Alfie’s eyes as half cake, half mousse, all disaster landed on his plate. On the plus side, his icing failure was lost forever. Tommy could imagine the teasing.

“Hmm?”.

“Never mind”.

--

Tommy had hardly reached for the scrubbing brush before Alfie was spinning him around, leading him towards the door.

“Where are we going?” he asked reluctantly. He’d just like to get the washing done, and then curl up in a nice dark place somewhere. With no sauce or chickens or tablespoons anywhere in sight.

“I’ve got a surprise for you” Alfie grinned.

“What?”.

“You didn’t think I forgot about your present, did ya?”. Quite honestly, Tommy hadn’t even thought about it. After establishing Alfie wasn’t making him a dinner, the thought had completely vanished from his mind.

“Put yer cap on, it’s chilly” said Alfie, undeterred by Tommy’s nonplussed expression and throwing a distinctly non-razor bladed cap at in his direction. There wasn’t so much of a need for those anymore. Things were settling down. It was indeed chilly outside, when they eventually got there. Alfie had spotted the cut on his thumb, and marched him upstairs to wrap a totally unnecessary bandage around it. Tommy pretended to hate it – “Alfie, it stopped bleeding hours ago” – but honestly, he needed Alfie to dote on him right now. Five years had gone by, Tommy proving time and time again that he was useless, fearing with each anniversary that Alfie would realise he wasn’t good enough. Would give up on him. But he seemed obstinately blind to it all, covering Tommy’s eyes with his gloved hands as they stepped outside.

“Alfie, I’m going to trip” he said, wobbling slightly as they made their way onto the grass.

“No you ain’t, I’ve got ya”. He didn’t guide Tommy towards the stables straight away, he’d know, and Alfie wanted it to be a surprise, so they went on a little trip around the garden. Tommy figured this out rather quickly; Alfie leading him ten paces in one direction then doing a U-turn rather gave it away, but he indulged him. It was the least he could do. Just as his ears were beginning to redden with cold, the familiar smell of the stables greeted him, and Alfie led him to a stop.

“Right ‘ere we are, you ready love?”. Tommy nodded, opening his eyes when Alfie moved his hands away. Standing in front of the usually vacant pen at the end of the stables, Tommy didn’t notice anything different at first. Had Alfie cleaned the windows? Had he organised the hay bales? Then he saw something fluffy, and white, peeking over the gate. An ear. He moved closer curiously. Had Alfie got him a foal?

Inside the pen was a small, fluffy maned white horse. She had tiny legs, and was covered by the red blanket Alfie had made a few winters ago. She looked almost comical, compared to the great race horses in the neighbouring stalls, and Tommy couldn’t help the small noise that escaped his lips at how sweet she looked.

“Hey girl” he said, holding out his hand. The horse came closer, peering up at him with those big eyes and sniffing hopefully. An apple appeared in Tommy’s palm, and he glanced back at Alfie, who was staring innocently up at the hay loft. He opened the pen and stepped inside, the horse eagerly nosing at his hand.

“There we go” he said gently, stroking down her neck as she munched away.

“Not really a ridin’ horse, but she’s a sweetie. Even let me stroke her, n’ ya know most horses can’t stand me” babbled Alfie.

“It’s just cause you’re nervous” said Tommy, quietly. “They can sense it”.

“Is she okay?” Alfie asked, scratching at the back of his head. Tommy turned, catching the insecurity. “I was thinkin’, you’ve got all these race horses, you know, and it might be nice to ‘ave one just for you. To relax with. Without any of that training stuff”. Tommy straightened up, leaning over the gate and reaching out to Alfie. He came, Tommy greeting him with a kiss.

“She’s perfect. Thank you”.

“The man said she likes bein’ brushed. I know it all gets too much sometimes, even out here” he gestured to the countryside surrounding them. He took Tommy’s hand, kissing the bandage. “So…jus someone to ‘ave a cuddle with. Without any expectations, you know? Don’t want her replacing me, mind” he joked. Tommy shook his head, very much enjoying Alfie’s rambling about gathering Tommy close on his chest. “Now then, what ridiculous name are you gonna call her? Cause I’m telling you now I ain’t running around the pasture yelling for Spectacular Albatross or Flying Desmond to come in for the night”. Tommy laughed, his eyes crinkling up. Alfie pulled him close. “It’s bad enough as it is. What must the bloody neighbours think of me, ey?”.

“We don’t have any neighbours”.

“Driven them all off, haven’t I, with those names”.

“What would you suggest?” asked Tommy. Alfie thought for a moment, tentatively reaching over the pen and patting the horse’s head. She was still crunching on the last of the apple, shuffling her little feet around in the hay happily.

“How’s Aviva?” he asked. “Means spring. N’ I can picture her in the fields like, when the flowers are growing”. Tommy smiled.

“Aviva it is”.

--

The sun was setting fast now, the horizon a beautiful misty orange. They’d stayed out in the stables for a while, Tommy whispering nonsense to his horse, and Cyril running about and rolling over in the grass. The whole scene made Alfie’s heart melt a little. A lot.

Five years of Tommy. If he wasn’t just the luckiest man on G-d’s good earth.

The chill eventually persuaded Tommy to leave Aviva and come inside; although not before giving her a brush down and an extra blanket. And petting all the other horses.

“I don’t want them to feel left out” he protested, over Alfie’s teasing. Cyril weaved around their legs as they kissed in the hallway, jackets thrown over the bannisters. Alfie distracted him with a treat, and Cyril took it to his basket, tail wagging slowly in exhaustion.  

“You wanna…” Tommy asked suggestively, nodding up towards the bedroom.

“Jus’ gonna go to the bathroom love, meet you in there” said Alfie, shooting him an exaggerated wink and laughing at Tommy’s raised eyebrow before heading to the bathroom. He leant on the closed door heavily, waiting an appropriate amount of time before running the tap, scooping the water up with his hands and desperately drinking it down. He wasn’t sure how much garlic Tommy had put in that sauce, but he had a feeling he’d be tasting it for weeks. His kisses must be awful.

But he supposed Tommy couldn’t tell: he’d eaten it too. Water dripped down his chin onto his shirt, but Alfie only gulped more. After an hour of resisting the urge to down the water jug in one, it was so good to wash some of the flavour away. He’d thought the…mousse cake would help with that, but if anything it seemed to intensify it. Had Tommy put garlic in there too?!

His eyes fell upon his toothbrush, and he glanced at the door nervously. He usually didn’t brush them until later; Tommy might realise. The thought of hurting him like that, however unintentionally, made Alfie feel terrible. But on the other hand, he wasn’t certain the potato wouldn’t just attach itself permanently to his teeth unless he scrubbed it off.

He thought he could get away with shoving some of the chicken to the edges of his plate, but he saw the worried glances Tommy was shooting him. Watching his plate, his reactions. So he ate it all, the residual texture making him shudder. There was nothing for it, he thought, grabbing his toothbrush. If he was concentrating on anything other than making Tommy’s eyes roll back in pleasure tonight, well, that would be a sacrilegious offence wouldn’t it?

--

Tommy was sat cross legged on the bed, wearing Alfie’s sleeping shirt, and nothing else by the looks of things.

“I knew you hated it” he said, sadly.

“Tommy, no” said Alfie, sitting beside him.

“It’s okay, Alfie. I know it was terrible. I should’ve just got you some fucking cufflinks or something”.

“Now when ‘ave you ever known me to bother with them, ey?”

“Something else then. An actual present, like you got me”.

“I love that you made me something, darlin’. So nice of you t’ put yerself through that for me”.

“Don’t joke” said Tommy, pouting. “I heard you”.

“I mean it” said Alfie, scooting towards him on the bed, and wrapping his legs around Tommy. He huffed a laugh. “Thank you for doin’ that for me. I know how hard cookin’ can be, yeah? And I know I go on about it a lot, which is annoying, but it makes me so ‘appy that you made me something. And the little candles n’ petals, so sweet. Jus’ love you so much, you silly thing”. Alfie pressed kisses into his hair.

“I love you too” Tommy mumbled, freeing his arms from Alfie’s strange leg hold and wrapping them around him in return.

“I thought we were gettin’ there, ey? You believing me when I say things like that”.

“I do” said Tommy quickly, “I just…it didn’t go the way I wanted it to”.

“And that’s okay” said Alfie. “Not everything does. But I loved it all the same”.

“But…it didn’t taste nice”.

“I love that you made it for me. That’s what makes it special, ya know? I could ‘ave had one of them fancy posh meals from some restaurant, and it wouldn’t mean nothing compared to my Tommy workin’ all day to make me something, ey?”. He squeezed Tommy’s shoulders. “You could prob’ly give me a load of hay n’ sugar cubes and I’d eat it. Cyril would too”. Tommy smiled.

“He was helping me today, or trying to. In his own way”.

“Was he? That’s ma boy- ah, ow, fuckin’ hell” Alfie cried, disentangling himself from Tommy and clutching at his foot. “Cramp, cramp”. He hobbled over to the window, bracing himself on the sill as he rubbed at his toes, Tommy’s laughter in the background making him grin despite his discomfort. It settled down eventually, and Tommy joined him, resting his head on Alfie’s shoulder, hair ticking his cheek.

“I love your hair like this, ya know”.

“Don’t say a word”.

“I already-”

“Not a word”. The sun had set now, and the stars twinkled at them faintly through the mist. “It was awful, wasn’t it?” said Tommy, his shoulders shaking as he laughed. Alfie kissed his temple.

“I still loved it”.

“I know”.

“You happy?” asked Alfie after a while, resting his head on Tommy’s and looking into the garden beyond. Their garden.

“Very” he replied, the warmth of truly meaning it leaving him with a warm glow. “Happy fifth anniversary”.

“To many more”.

Thank you for reading, I'd love to know what you think! <3

WIPs should be updated in February xx

[justbeingbrookee]

I JUST WANT TO DO IT PT.8

 [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 9]

Can also read on AO3

Word count: 9,788

———

What is love?

Hm, the easiest answer would be Park Jimin. Right? No….

Love is a word that everyone knows but no one can truly explain. Most of us can even say it in multiple languages, Sarangae, Amour.

You google the meaning of love and this appears ‘a strong feeling of affection.’

Well that was a great help in deciphering your new feelings for Jimin, not! You sit up on your bed, then lay back down before rolling around and placing the covers over your head. You have never been more confused about anything in your entire life. Even picking a University was easier than this.

Then you remember his eyes, the way they twinkle when he looks at you, the way your heart reacts so strongly to his presence. Jimin is the most beautiful person you have ever seen in your entire life but not just on the outside, his soul is beautiful too. The kindness in his heart and how pure his soul is just makes you melt. He makes you feel more confident about yourself, more like a woman deserving of a man’s love. You shiver just imagining his soft touch running down the spine of your body. His feathery kisses running up your inner thigh.

He gives you butterflies every single time you are with him and he just makes you excited, you feel giddy again like you are about to go on the scariest, tallest most thrilling rollercoaster ride ever. He makes you feel whole like before him there was a part of you missing, something you can live without but once in a while that empty feeling will creep in. Before Jimin there was nothing in the world that could fill that emptiness until that day on the stairway when you met Jimin and everything changed, the emptiness fully disappeared. Even now just thinking his name makes you smile, it makes your heart race and it’s addictive. You can’t and don’t want to imagine a life without him and surely that’s what love is, right?

But how can there be love without trust…

You remove the covers and sit up. Your heart sinks just thinking about the deceitful things you have done. Playing two guys, having sex with two guys…You bite your nails, a habit you haven’t done since you were a child and blankly stare across the room.

‘It’s already done, you can’t go back,’ you tell yourself. How you move forward is what is important now. With more lies or finally with the truth?

You exhale.

You have to tell him the truth, both of them and then hope that your love is strong enough to withhold this bumpy ride.

Lalalalala

Speak of the devil

“Hello,” you answer too excited.

“What are you up to?” you hear a bored Jimin on the phone.

“Just rolling around all lonesome like in my bed,” you respond joyous and giddy just from hearing his angelic voice.

“Hm, why does that sound so good right now?”

“Wanna join me?”

“Don’t tempt me, I might just walk out of here, work is so boring right now. Someone messed up the design samples and I have to redo them before tomorrow morning.”

“Aww, does that mean you will be doing an all nighter?”

“Why would you miss me so much that you won’t be able to sleep?”

“Ha, yeah right,”

“Whyy you always lying, MmmmOhMyGawdd” he sings through the phone.

You recall the meme and can’t help but laugh at his silliness … why do I love this dork again?

“Stop acting like a Loser, Park Jimin,” you grin and he lets out a small laugh.

“You know I like it when you say my full name.”

“Park Jimin, Park Jimin, Park Jimin,” you repeat for no apparent reason. (Is this foolishness a symptom of love, if so I am so screwed.)

“I love you,” he quickly says in a low serious voice over the phone. The thing is he speaks those three words with such vigorous confidence as if their equivalent to saying Hello but to you it’s not equivalent, it hit’s you hard. Like a boulder crushing a tiny ant, you stop breathing for a second. As these strange yet pleasant feelings that those words bring, warm your cold heart. He loves you, you repeat those words in your head once more.

But since you can’t bring yourself to say those words just yet you say the first thing that comes into your mind.

“I will cook you dinner,” the words are out of your mouth before you can even process the magnitude of what you have just said. ‘I will cook you dinner,’ the fuck, you can’t even cook toast. Okay, well maybe that’s a massive exaggeration but you get the gist.

“What, well now I like the sound of that,” Jimin says sounding happier, more alive. You hear him shuffle through the phone (sitting up perhaps).

“I knew calling you would cheer me up, it will probably take me an hour and a bit to finish everything up here and then I will come home.”

“Please, don’t get too excited,” you try to lower his expectations.

“__ don’t worry anything you make will be fine.”

“You promise, Jimin,” you ask searching for some reassurance because you haven’t done this in a while but for Jimin you will try. If you don’t kill him or give him food poisoning the dinner will be a success.

“I promise, okay, let me finish this up, I’m feeling hungry already.”

You say your goodbyes and hang up the phone and curse your big stupid mouth.

-----

You go into the kitchen and rummage through the little food you have. You decide to make spaghetti Bolognese as that is the easiest, quickest meal you can make with a ray of confidence that you won’t burn it and he might actually…(might being the strong word here) enjoy it.

You start by placing the dry spaghetti in the pot now full of boiling water and you close the lid and let it cook. Whilst that cooks you start chopping the onions, garlic, carrots and celery sticks before placing a pan on the hot cooker and putting the whole packet of beef mince inside, you let it simmer then place everything inside.

You carry on cooking your meal whilst biting your bottom lip, what if he doesn’t like the food and deems me a terrible cook, hence a terrible girlfriend….wife…everything…. you shake your head in disillusioned horror. Jimin isn’t like that you convince yourself.

After finishing up with the cooking you turn everything off and go into the bedroom to change. You decide to wear something comfortable (since you are inside the house) yet cute because you know this is the courting or pursuit stage of this relationship. So you decide on wearing a cute blue dress shirt with big orange lace details at the front. As if the left side of the dress shirt has big orange shoe laces on it.

You put on a tiny diamond bracelet on your right arm and fluff up your hair and call it a day. Good thing as well because just as you were getting up you hear a knock on the door and a massive smile spreads across your face.

His here.

You open the door glee with joy, so much so that you lose any form of control you had and leap into his arms as if it’s the most natural way to greet someone. You wrap your legs around his waist as he stumbles back trying to find his balance. Shocked and amused at your level of excitement he smiles. You place your hands between his handsome face and just take in this view. Your eyes are fixated on his messy brown hair parted in the middle down to his perfectly shaped dark eyebrows but when they land on his bright soul baring hazel eyes you fall into a trance, you want to soak up this moment…just for a few more seconds you want to imprint this memory in your brain forever so that you never forget how his eyes are looking at you right now. Filled with patience and warmth and how his skin glows against your gentle touch and the way his lips are pressed together in a beautiful heart shape.

You reach down and kiss him, whilst overwhelming yourself for no good reason. It’s then, amidst feeling the wet and warmth of Jimin’s lips against yours that you decided that tonight would be the night you would tell Jimin everything, the whole truth about Jungkook. You break away from him and smile before saying “You ready to eat?”

You serve him a plate of the food you cooked and wait for him to take a bite. He does and you watch his face closely, looking for any signs of his opinion on your food. You find none.

“Do you have any salt?” He raises his head to face you and your heart sinks sharply.

Shit, how could I forget the salt?

You pass the salt shaker to him quietly already defeated. I can’t even remember salt, the basic ingredient to any meal, shoot me now. You think completely over this meal… this night. You just want to sleep already.

You sigh deeply and grab your plate before sitting in front of him and eating quietly.

“Hmm,” he says.

And you slowly raise your head and look at him from under your lashes. You don’t dare talk.

“Oh, this is really nice,” he takes another bite and you realise that he has already eaten half of the contents on the plate.

Is he being truthful or not right now, you make a face and watch him closely. Still not daring to say a word.

He licks the sauce off his succulent lips and takes another bite.

“hm, this is probably the best spaghetti Bolognese I have ever had,” he says scraping the last piece of food on the plate and giving you a big grin.

Your heart starts to flutter and you start cheesing so hard you cover your mouth with your hand and look to the side in an attempt to hide the immense joy his words are giving you. Ohh snap, he actually likes my cooking, *you internally squeal* does that mean I’m girlfriend, no fiancé…no. Wife material. Ahhhh, your brain goes into overdrive.

You literally have an episode inside your head whilst Jimin just stares at you in awe. He really fell in love with a cuckoo bird didn’t he? He silently laughs to himself.  

After you finish your meal you put the plates away and come back to the table.

“Come sit here,” Jimin says patting his lap. You go over to him without any objections in fact you lightly skip over into his lap and then place your arm around his shoulders.

“I have something for you, close your eyes,” he says bending down sideways to retrieve something from his bag.

You do as you’re told and close your eyes shut. All you can see is darkness but your other senses suddenly heighten. The sweet peach like smell oozing from Jimin hits you then and you enjoy the pleasing smell so much that you shuffle a little bit closer. You then hear him place something small like a box maybe?..... on the table.

“You can open your eyes now,” he softly whispers into your left ear.

You press your lips tightly and freeze for a minute, letting the anticipation build up. What in the world could he have gotten you? Then you open your eyes slowly and spot a….

Beautiful blue little box with a white ribbon around it. You slightly lean in and read the black inscription that says ‘Tiffany & Co.’

Your eyes bulge out and a large gasp comes out. No…noo…no you shake your head. Refusing to believe this is happening. You’re not really a jewellery kind of girl, especially not the expensive type. So much so that if someone was to name all these expensive brands you would probably not know any of them but THIS little blue box you know….Every girl knows what this little blue box means.

Your bottom lip starts gaping up and down as your mouth refuses to close. Jimin wouldn’t, it’s only been 5 months…then your mind remembers Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, they were together for three months before he proposed….But their divorced now so no….NO. You finally turn to Jimin and you see him trying to hold back a laugh.

“What…is…this?” You squint your eyes not trusting him one bit.

“Open it and see,” he leans back as if he has just handed you a packet of crisps.

This can’t be what I think it is, if it is an engagement ring then boy, I’m saying no because he needs to go down on one knee and say all the mushy shit about how much he loves me and wants me to be his wife.

You pick up the light blue box gently before pulling off the white ribbon and slowly removing the lid.

You see a single gold key. And you instantly let out a deep breathe.

Then you hear a loud angelic laugh, it fills the whole entire apartment.

“Oh my gosh, you are too funny, you thought it was an engagement ring didn’t you?” Jimin leans back and then curls into a ball before slapping his leg still in a fit of laughter.

“You FUCKING SHIT,” you turn around a hit Jimin on the shoulder.

“Oh man, you should have seen your face, I honestly wish I had a hidden camera in here.”

For some reason, you don’t find this funny. You look to the left and then to the right, still missing the punchline of this joke.

You drop the box onto the table and stand.

That laughter quickly stops then.

“Playing with my emotions isn’t funny Jimin,” you sulk.

His soft hand slowly caresses your left hand.

“I’m sorry,” he says whilst wrapping his arms around your hips and pulling you back down into his lap.

You turn your head to the left not ready just yet to forgive him.

He picks up the opened little blue box and places it in front of you.

“I mean it, I didn’t mean to play with your emotions, can you forgive me?” he apologises in a sweet and sincere voice. Well, how can a girl still be mad after that?

You face the box in his hand and look at the shiny gold key.

“Hold on what’s this key for?”

Jimin smiles “I was going to give you this, my apartment key so that you can come and go whenever you like because what’s mine is yours. I also had it engraved turn it over.”

You pick up the box from his hand and flip the key around and read what it says ‘You hold the key to my heart - jm’

“Why are you like this Jimin,” you hurriedly turn around and plant aimless kisses all over his button nose, cheeks, lips… “Huh, why do you make me so emotional, my heart is about to explode.”

You kiss him on the lips again. “Will you take responsibility if I die because of an overwhelming amount of love, huh?” You look up trying to push back the tears, no but seriously why am I so flipping emotional lately?

“Come here (he brings you in for a nice embrace) there’s no such thing as overwhelming amount of love, I love you *he pauses for a moment* I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love you, crazy huh?”

“Not crazy at all,” you respond in a timid shy voice. For the first time truly understanding that Jimin himself is feeling the same way you are feeling right now.

You are about to tell him that you love him back but then he whispers something in your ear “Check underneath.”

There was a silver little container around the key that you carefully lift up and then you gasp again.

“Awee, Jimin,” you squeal looking at the beautiful earrings. There are two thin and long silver earrings each with a pink pearl at the end.

“You like them?” He asks modestly.

“Like them, I love them, Jimin you didn’t have to, aww.”

“And I already have a special occasion to wear them at, our company is having a special ball because we have a new CEO, I was wondering if you wanted to come… as my date?” You give him a wide grin and a cheeky wink.

“Well how can I say no to that wink, when I can’t even wink.”

“Whyy you always lying,” you sing and Jimin goes into another fit of laughter.

“I seriously can’t wink,” he protests.

“I have seen you wink Jimin.”

“Look, look,” he closes his right eye a little bit too hard and then you start giggling. “Ohmygosh, you idiot, what was that, haha.”

“I’m crying, literally because of you Jimin,” you wipe a little laughter tear away from the edge of your eye.

“When is this ball?”

“Erm, Thursday next week.”

“hmm, yeah, I think I can make it,” he says.

“You can,” you respond very excited, you nuzzle your nose on his button nose.

At the end you never get a chance to tell Jimin that you love him and you clearly don’t get a chance to tell him the truth about Jungkook. You decide that maybe after the ball you will let him know everything but as of now there’s no harm in just appreciating a few more precious moments whilst enjoying the blissfulness of this new found love.

------

Thursday couldn’t have come any sooner, all everyone can talk about at work is the ball. Everyone who is everyone is going to be there, people from other accounting firms, business moguls, a few politicians and some heavy weights in the tech industry. If there was ever a place to be for networking, this ball would be it.

Everyone was allowed to leave an hour early in our team and you were all relieved, you had already bought your dress and had already painted your nails with a sexy yet subtle grey colour. You had even text Jimin to double or more accurately triple check that he was definitely coming and of course he was.

Tonight was going to be perfect, like Cinderella going to the ball except you were an independent grown woman who didn’t need no prince to help find her glass slipper. Whilst thinking of glass slipper’s you decided to match your sleeveless navy blue midi dress that had intricate patterns with some cute pointed black heels that had a thin black ankle strap.

An hour before you and Jimin had planned to meet up you have finished putting on your make-up and had parted your hair to the side with a low ponytail and a strand of hair curling down the left side of your face. You are going for the stunning yet smart professional look. You then put on your black bra since the top part of your dress is sheer black lace. And as you’re doing so you brush your hand on your left breast and it slightly feels tender, you press both your breasts and something feels different, you look down and push your boobs together. They feel heavier or is it just my imagination. Hm, you decide since it’s almost that time of the month and you haven’t gone yet and that’s probably the cause.

You push that thought to the back of your mind and start getting dressed and glammed up.

You feel so ecstatic tonight that from the point Jimin knocks on your door and you see his handsome angelic face smartly dressed in a matching navy blue suit you just go into cloud nine. Nothing could possible ruin this night.

And it is perfect.

From the moment you arrive at the venue you are in awe at the extravagance of everything. The white majestic building, the sheer number of foreign expensive cars probably carrying multi-millionaires. Even when you enter the beautifully decorated high ceiling building and spot the waiters holding crystal and champagne glasses and different coloured ball gowns twirling around the dance floor. You just melt and soak in this beautiful atmosphere.

“__,” you turn your head as you hear someone calling your name.

It’s Judy, you sigh and force a fake smile.

“Hi, Judy,” you say as she reaches were you and Jimin are standing. You haven’t even been here for 5 minutes, she is not going ruin your positive vibes you tell yourself.

“Oh, who’s this lovely man next…” Judy pauses mid-sentence almost salivating at the presence of Jimin. A part of you can’t even blame her, he is a rare beauty.

So you just smile and introduce them.

“Judy this is Jimin, my date. Jimin this is Judy we work together”

“Ah,” is all Judy manages to say as Jimin reaches out to shake her hand. You see her cheeks turn slightly red and try really hard to not laugh.

“Where’s your husband Judy?” you ask and her dagger eyes quickly shoot up at you. Was I not supposed to ask that? Oops, you grin.

She presses her lips together before saying “He wasn’t feeling too well….I better let you guys mingle, bye,” and she’s gone.

“Well that was interesting,” Jimin says after she leaves.

You shake your head and try to forget that just happened. “Do you want a drink?”

“Yes please.. *buzz* oh, hold on wait,” and he reaches down to check his phone before letting out a swear word under his breath that only you are able to hear. You look at him concerned.

“Is everything okay?”

“I have to go.”

“Oh!”

He types something fast on his phone and then lets out a deep breath.

“I really have to go, some stuff at work, it’s like they can’t even run the place without me.”

“yeah…okay,” you mouth in a barely audible deflated voice. It’s like de javu. You look down slightly disappointed.

“Look at me, please,” he whispers moving closer and placing his tender hands over yours. You lift your head but your eyes dart around everywhere else but on Jimin.

“You’re mad aren’t you, you can hit me, here hit me,” he turns his body and points at his shoulder. You look up slightly but don’t say anything.

“Okay, if you’re not going to hit me, I will do it,” and he actually punches his shoulder twice. You don’t say anything and then he slaps himself on the face. You gasp and hold his hands down before a laugh escapes you.

“Stop, why are you like this…okay, okay I’m not mad, Jimin, go,” you giggle truly unable to stay mad at this cute little fuzz ball.

He smiles, kisses you on the cheek and then exits the ball.

Luckily, you soon find your friend at the ball and you greet each other. She’s just as excited as you so she’s able to lift your spirits.

“Have you seen the new CEO?” You had asked sipping your champagne glass.

“His over there next to Hoseok,” you look at the direction she’s pointing at and spot them together speaking to another guy. Then you see one of your co-workers manoeuvring his way towards the direction of the CEO but then he stops abruptly and turns the opposite way.

“Woah, did you see that,” you say to your friend.

“Yup, that’s Hoseok for you, his like the CEO’s bodyguard or something, his only letting certain people speak to him.”

“Well, that sucks doesn’t it.”

“You can say that again, let’s forget about him their so many powerful women in this place, it’s crazy, come let’s mingle.”

And you do just that, you are so astounded by all the women that you meet and speak to, Ursela Burns who is currently the chairwoman of Xerox and was previously CEO of the company just leaves you speechless, she was so nice and forthcoming and a little bit inspirational because as a smart woman she has climbed so high. But Sheryl Sandberg who is the Facebook COO leaves a huge impression on you and you are left feeling empowered. All the women you meet have a great story behind them and it makes you remember why you worked so hard to get here and how your journey is just beginning and you never know where you could end up in ten or twenty years’ time.

“Gurl, you were right about the amount of powerful women here, wow,” you say finally resting as you sit down waiting to hear the speech from the new CEO.

“I told you…__ don’t turn around, I think someone’s coming this way,” your friend’s mouth suddenly opens as she looks behind you. You try to turn around, way too curious not to. But she holds your shoulders still.

“No, __, I think his coming this way, fuck __ he is smoking hot.”

“How can you say that and not let me look, let me just take a small little peak,” you try to reason with her, he can’t be that good looking. So you take a peak.

*Sigh*

Let’s just say she didn’t tell a single lie, he is smoking hot with an amazing body that just fits perfectly in that black suit, it’s just…

You turn back around and sink down into your sit contemplating why your life is like this.

“I know him, his one of the guys I told you about,” you whisper to her.

“Shut up, noo,” she takes a peak at him again and then gives you a cheeky look.

“No, he looks so fucking delicious though, you lucky bishh…okay, his almost here,” she straightens up and fidgets with her bag and then grabs her phone.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and instinctively you look up and find a rather dashing guy smiling down at you. You can’t help but smile back. What is wrong with you?

“Care to join us Jungkook?” You say on impulse.

He sits down next to you and you then introduce your friend to him. He lightly squeezes your thigh under the table before whispering. “I missed you __,” you just giggle and lean into him.

Luckily you hear the mic sound and you turn towards the direction of the sound. The CEO begins his well prepared speech but you barely hear anything as Jungkook whispers sweet nothings in your left ear that make you blush and you end up placing your hand over his under the table whilst you play footsie with each other.

You didn’t mean for it to happen, you love Jimin and his the only one that you want but it’s just so hard to ignore Jungkook especially when he speaks to you in that velvety sensual voice of his and caresses your thigh, your hand and the back of your neck. It’s just so hard. And the guilt tries to fight it’s way into your consciousness but it feels so good being around Jungkook that you just giggle like teenager and go with the flow.

“Have you guys had a chance to meet with the new CEO yet?” Jungkook had asked after his speech was over.

You and your friend had both said no and Jungkook just smiled.

“Let’s go, I haven’t spoken to him either,” he said standing up and holding his hand out for you. You hesitated for 2 seconds (in your defence those 2 seconds felt like an eternity, so at least you tried) before taking his hand and signalling for your friend to come as well.

To your surprise Hoseok didn’t send you guys away instead he had greeted the three of you, well mostly Jungkook in a very friendly manner. It seems Jungkook was quite close with the new CEO and you see them talking about catching up with a game of golf. Then his attention draws to you.

“And who is this lovely lady?” The CEO says, you can see Hoseok opening his mouth about to speak but Jungkook beats him to it.

“She’s my girlfriend and she also works here as an accountant so you better look after her,” Jungkook says proudly holding your hand.

You force a smile, your friend coughs and Hoseok gives you a warily look.

You’re not sure if that’s the way you would have wanted to have been introduced to the new CEO.

But neither less the introduction has been made and you and your friend have a rather pleasant conversation with the guy.

“Have you guys seen the patio, it is rather beautiful at this time of night,” the CEO suddenly says and Jungkook looks at you asking if you would like to see it.

You slightly nod and you both say your goodbyes to everyone and make your way to the patio.

Jimin POV

Jimin finds himself standing at the entrance of the ball, he spots many people conversing, some drinking and a few dancing. The atmosphere seems more relaxed and joyous now than when he left earlier. He searches the room looking for __ but he can’t seem to spot her anywhere. Surely she hasn’t left already.

He made sure to hurry to the office and sort out the crisis there until it was rectified in a state where everything was fine to be left until tomorrow before rushing back here. He was driving so fast that he almost got a speeding ticket but now that his standing here alone, unable to locate __ his thinking if maybe he shouldn’t have left in the first.

She had been looking forward to this ball all week long and he had just left without so much as a warning. He had to make it up to her, he wanted to make it up her and show her that this won’t happen again. To him she has become someone who is more important to him than anything else in this world and he didn’t want to lose her to anything especially not because of work.

Then he spots Ju…(his mind goes blank for a second) Judy, yes the woman he had been introduced to before he left. He walks up to her and another female.

“Did you see him Judy, she’s so lucky,” you hear the other female speaking to Judy as you approach them.

“Hello, Judy, I’m not sure if you remember me from earlier,” you interrupt their conversation.

Judy turns around and her face goes slightly red whilst the other female stares at you.

“Oh, Jimin was it, how could I forget,” she looks at the other female and then back at you.

“Have you seen __ by any chance, I can’t seem to find her,” you ask.

“Erm,” she looks around the hall. “You said you were her boyfriend right?” She finally speaks. You look at her with a stone face wondering how that was relevant to the question you had just asked before forcing a smile and nodding.

“Ah, do you know where __ is?” Judy turns towards the other female standing next to her. You turn to face her and she instantly begins to cough and shakes her head strongly saying no.

“YES, I remember now I think I saw her with someone, they seemed pretty cosy, didn’t you say they went up to the patio to see the romantic night light or something,” Judy speaks before reaching down and sipping on the champagne glass.

__’s friend watches Jimin walking away towards the direction of the patio and then turns towards Judy.

“Judy you are soo messy, how could you say that to him?”

But Judy just laughs and sips her drink because tonight has just gotten so much more entertaining.

After leaving the hall Jimin asks a couple of waiters for directions towards the patio but as they tell him where to go Judy’s words keep ringing in his ears.

Pretty cosy….with someone….romantic nightlight…..

__ wouldn’t do that, he trusts her completely and knows that she would never do anything that would break his trust. And from the looks of things __ and Judy didn’t seem to be that close so it could all be a ploy of sorts.

But when he reaches the door leading to the patio his heart starts to accelerate and the craziest thought occurs in his mind.

What if…

He unexpectedly hears a female voice followed by a male voice.

And that what if automatically turns into a, could she really do this?

He suddenly starts doubting himself, she wouldn’t do that.

Slowly, he turns the door and looks inside.

Indeed what he heard was a female and male voice.

….

But luckily it wasn’t __ but some other couple in there.

He nods his head and apologises for disturbing them before slowly walking out.

Relieved, he rubs his chest and decides he will just head home, she might have just gone home and is probably waiting for him to return.

So he makes his way to the car park.

And as he does that he curses himself for even doubting for one second that __ would ever cheat on him or even entertain another guy. Even though she hadn’t said it yet he knew that she loved him and that they love each other greatly.

He smiles to himself when he enters the car park as he recalls the time when __ had thought the little blue box contained an engagement ring. Even though she was pretending to act all shocked he knew that deep down if indeed there was an engagement ring in there she would have said yes. A part of him wishes, it was an engagement ring, as crazy as it sounds.

“Jungkook, stop it.”

Jimin freezes.

He knows that voice, he would be able to pick out that voice anywhere, even in a room full of a thousand people.

He doesn’t want to turn around, his heart beats faster as his body refuses to move.

“Your words say one thing but your body says another,” a male voice speaks and the car park is filled with a giggling sound that Jimin has heard a million times before.

He forces himself to turn around and is gobsmacked by what he sees in front of him. It feels as if he has been hit by a truck and it is crushing his heart into small pieces. As if a sword has just been pulled through his heart and now blood is dripping from it.

The woman he loves is currently in another man’s arms, she is looking up at him with a massive smile on her face. His hands are wrapped around her waist and their slowly moving down. She’s giggling and his head is reaching down towards her ear and nibbling it.

“Jungkook, stop,” she says again her voice full of joy.

Jimin blinks multiple times, he even rubs his eyes. Is his brain deceiving him right now because what he is seeing right here can’t be true. The woman that he loves is at home not in this other guy’s arms. Yes, that’s it, whoever this is, it can’t be her. So Jimin makes the decision to go home and check if she’s there.

He refuses to believe this is her so he turns his head away from them.

…….

*HONK*

A car behind him honks very loudly making him jump out of his skin and instinctively he looks back at their direction. He sees her huddling up closer to him as the car honks but then her eyes navigate towards you and slowly her eyes register with her brain who you are and her face instantly changes, the once happy giggling person has now turned into a lost confused perplexed one.

[BACK TO YOU] – same time

Please tell me that isn’t Jimin standing there looking at me right now. You feel Jungkook rubbing your back and you move his hand away and try to step away from him. What the fuck is happening, that’s not Jimin, no, noooooooooo. No! You start to hyperventilate and breathing suddenly becomes more difficult, no.

The car that had honked speeds past you and you spot Jimin very slowly walking towards you. Jungkook says something but you can’t hear anything, your ears start ringing and your head starts spinning.

You take deep breaths but nothings helping, Jimin is still walking towards and you Jungkook is still staring at you. NOOOO. You want to cry but your body is frozen in place unable to fathom this horrendous situation you have suddenly found yourself in.

You start digging your nails into the palm of your hand as Jimin finally reaches you. You can’t stop staring at him unsure what he will do or say to you.

He stops in front of you and looks at you dead in the eyes. You have never seen Jimin’s eyes so cold and dark before. He lifts his left hand and you flinch but don’t move away. He gently moves his soft fingers onto your ear and moves down it towards your earrings until the pink pearl is in between his fingers.

“I see you wore my gift today as promised, they look nice on you,” he mouths in a raspy voice you have never heard from him before.

You can feel Jungkook stiffen on your side but you dare not look at him.

And Jimin lets go of the earring, you want to explain yourself….you want to say something….anything but your brain won’t let you, your brain can’t accept that this situation right here is actually happening.

“I’m Jungkook, her boyfriend and you are?” Jungkook suddenly extends his head.

You lean your head back and stop breathing. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME, what is that…boyfr……you close your eyes. Ah, I’m feeling a migraine coming on. The sides of your temples start to throb.

“Are you now, that’s the first time I’m hearing of this,” you hear Jimin’s calm yet cold voice.

“Unless you’re her father I don’t know why my relationship with her should affect you, but since you are so curious let me enlighten you, we are together, we have been together for some months now, is it what 5 months __,” Jungkook looks down towards you. You can feel two sets of eyes facing you even with your eyes closed.

‘It’s done... they know about each other, it’s over…there’s no more hiding or lying anymore. The truth is finally out,’ these thoughts run through your head a few times before you finally open your eyes. You face Jungkook first and grab hold of his wrist before saying “Can you wait here for a minute?”

JUNGKOOK POV – same time

I nod my head and watch her grab his wrist and move 10 feet away. At first after seeing him touching on her ear like that he became jealous, only he was allowed to do that. Which is why Jungkook felt the need to inform this guy of their relationship. But now as he watches her move him away and him moving his arm away from her Jungkook starts to feel something.

“Jimin I’m sorry,” Jungkook hears her say. Her eyes look as if they’re about to cry.

“Is what his saying the truth, are you and him in a relationship whilst you’re also in a relationship with me,” he shouts visible angry now.

Jungkook is stunned, out of all the jealous feelings he had felt a part of him never would have thought that this guy would have been someone she was serious about.

“I’m sorry Jimin, I didn’t mean for it to happen like this, you just both came into my life at the same time and I didn’t know how to stop it but I love you Jimin, I love only you,” and the woman Jungkook loves starts to cry.

Jungkook hates seeing women cry and still a small part of him wants to go over there and wipe her tears away but her words of endearment for this Jimin guy stop him, she loves Jimin, only Jimin. Then what about him, what have they been doing all these months, why would she let him take her virginity if she loved this other guy.

He is in shock and angry. How dare she, how dare he.

“Did you have sex with him?” This Jimin guy asks her with his hands in a fist now.

She looks down before slowly nodding.

“Wait…wait so you were screwing both him and me at the same, were you even a virgin or was that another lie?” He speaks each words with such visible hatred.

She tries to hold his hand and carries on pleading for forgiveness but he just pushes it away and suddenly turns to Jungkook before looking back at her.

“I was such joke to you wasn’t, every time I told you I loved you, you probably thought what an idiot, okay so go, go to your boyfriend. I never want to see you again.” And he turns around, walks towards his car and drives off.

It’s then as you see __ on the floor crying her eyes out because of another guy that it hits like a tonne of bricks that she was in love with another. You walk over to her and hand her a handkerchief from your pocket. She accepts it without looking up and wipes her moist face.

“ __, I don’t even know what just happened right now, one minute we are laughing and the next some guy I am guessing someone you love appears and now you are on the floor crying. I know you probably don’t care but I’m hurt, stupidly I saw a future with us but I guess I was the only one. I’m not going to shout at you because there’s no point you look like you have already had enough of that but I just want to say one thing before I leave. You __ meant a lot to me and you made me happy and joyful and silly me thought the feeling was mutual.”

She looks up then and says in a hoarse voice “No, Jungkook, I enjoyed our time together it’s just,” before another wave of tears began to stream down.

“I know, I know…but it wasn’t enough was it, I wasn’t enough.” Jungkook reaches down and wipes her tears from her cheek and kisses her forehead one last time.

“I want you to be happy __, even if it’s not with me I just want you to be happy.” And with that he gets up and walks away towards his car.

BACK TO YOU – same time.

You hear Jungkook’s car start up and then drive off. You feel your body shake as you place your hands on the cold concrete floor. You want to remain here and let the ground take you in but you know you can’t, not if you still want to have a career as an accountant. So with that one remaining thought that even if you have potentially lost both Jimin and Jungkook at least you still have a thriving career.

You push yourself up and brush the dust off your dress before grabbing your phone and turning on the camera. You check your face and try to fix it and your messy hair as much as possible. You just need to make it to the taxi and you are free.

You take a calming breath and then start walking. Your legs are still shaky from everything but they still move one in front of the other towards the car park entrance.

The thing is when you finally lift your head up you spot the last person you would ever want to see at the entrance.

“Judy,” you acknowledge. She’s there grinning with an empty glass in her hand.

“Aw, __ are you okay?” She asks with a condescending tone in her voice.

You don’t have the strength to deal with bully Judy right now. So you walk past her but clearly that wasn’t part of her plan so she shouts after you.

“I don’t even blame you, two handsome guys if only I was younger, such a shame it had to end like this but to sleep with both of them, isn’t that a bit hoeish....if that’s even a word. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise now you don’t have to screw two guys at the same time,” and she starts laughing to herself.

“Who would have thought, eh…” you stop listening to her at that point and just carry on walking. You don’t care about Judy or anything else right now.

You don’t know how but you manage to leave the building and find a taxi. All the way in the taxi ride you stare blankly outside the window. You remember thanking the taxi driver when you arrive home and make your way up the stairs towards your apartment. When you get in you remove your shoes and drop your bag before making your way blindly into the bathroom and turning on the shower.

The second the water hits your face and starts dripping down your dress all the way down to your feet you start to cry. This time without any restraint. You drop to the floor and hug yourself as the water continues to hit you. Your cries are loud and so hard that for that moment you lose yourself in a very dark and depressing place. You have never been like this before. You let it all out, the sadness, guilt, sorrow and regrets you have been holding in all this while, you let it all out and just cry.

You are in the shower for a while until you tire yourself out from all the crying. So you force yourself up before drying yourself and getting into bed. Even though you are tired it still takes some time before sleep calls for you and when it does your mind replays over and over again the incident that occurred in the car park. It affects you so much that you end up waking up at 4am in the morning and every time you close your eyes images of Jimin’s angry face or Jungkook’s irritated face appear so you decide to get up and check your work email.

The first thing that you see with a red alert on is an event of a presentation for one of the company’s sustainability efforts. You can do these presentations with your eyes closed now so you can usually do the preparation within a 20 minutes slot but since you can’t sleep you decide to go the extra mile and do a bit more research on this company so that you don’t just cover the requirements but go beyond that.

At 6:20am and with 20 slides full of information and analysis’s you happily decide that you are satisfied with the presentation the way it is and it has been a great distraction from everything you have on your mind.

You quickly hop in the shower and then put on your black sleeveless dress and some matching heels. You have some coffee just to keep you awake before quickly heading out.

When you arrive at work you are still in a daze and your mind doesn’t feel as though it’s fully there but as you walk into the office something feels off, you can see people glaring at you and others just shaking their heads at your direction.

You sit down regardless, not caring to even ask but then your friend comes to your desk as you are turning your computer on and drags you outside into the storage space.

“Are you okay?” She looks at you concerned.

“What do you mean,” you stare at her confused.

“I heard….Judy has been spreading around something about you. She said that both the guys found out about each other and left you alone crying on the floor yesterday,” she leans in to give you a hug.

You are still as you try take in what she has just said.

“Judy said,” you repeat gently moving out of her arms.

“Yes, she told everyone in the coffee room about it and they told people. I ended up finding out about it from Jin from the law department.”

“Oh wow, who knew my love life would be so interesting to others, I’m fine, it will all blow over soon. Judy can gossip all she want’s, that’s the least of my worries.”

“Yeah, she’s probably like that because her husband didn’t even come, just ignore her,” your supportive friend says whilst giving you a friendly smile.

“I will,” you smile back touched by her concern.

Judy on the other hand, you will find a way of dealing with her later, she is becoming rather troublesome, you think as you walk back into the office ignoring the stares and finishing the preparations for the presentation.

At 10:15 you set up your slides on the projector and you stand up in front of everyone, there are about 15 people in this room, mostly senior staff and a few secretaries but before you start Hoseok walks in with the new CEO and they sit down at the back.

You don’t let it phase you and commence to giving your presentation. You make eye contact with everyone and speak clearly as you go through each slide. At the end a few of the senior staff members even ask you a few questions and you respond as best as you can before everyone nods their heads in agreement that this companies sustainability is fairly good with a few questionable aspects that you pointed out but still with further investigation you can find a suitable solution to meet the standards.

The new CEO claps his hands “I like this presentation, it looks as though you did a lot of in-depth research into the company and have a rather knowledgeable understanding of sustainability in that industry,” he nods his head and whispers something to Hoseok who also nods his head.

“Thank you,” you respond and with that the CEO and Hoseok get up and leave. They are followed by some senior staff and as you shut down everything on the computer you hear two females whispering near you.

“Is that her?” one says to the other.

“Yes, that’s her, did you see the way her face lit up when the CEO said something to her, maybe she wants to add a third guy to her group of men,” the other replies.

Your face starts to heat up and you click the X button repeatedly on the powerpoint presentation. [not responding] appears at the top.

“Didn’t you hear that those two guys she was sleeping with left her crying on the floor after she was caught,” they both start laughing before getting up and leaving.

And of course that is when the computer finally shuts down.

Your face is still burning up as you exit the meeting room so you decide to go to the ladies bathroom instead of the office so you can at least cool down with some cold water.

As you enter the bathroom you instantly hear Judy’s voice and to no one’s surprise she’s retelling what happened yesterday. Does this woman have nothing better to do, you think annoyed now.

“Do you have nothing better to do than gossip about my life?” You say, completely done ignoring this shit now.

She turns around and starts laughing whilst looking at the two women she was just telling the story too. They both look down and manoeuvre around you to leave the bathroom.

“It’s not really gossip if it happened is it, it’s more like facts,” she says with a smug face.

“So it’s facts then that your husband of less than a year only married you for money but now that he knows you’re not as rich as you pretended to be his already moved on to his next suga mamma,” when you finish speaking you see the hate through her eyes, she begins to grind her teeth and for the first time today you have found something to smile about.

“At least I’m not a fucking dirty slut…”

…….

Everything unexpectedly goes dark. You remember grabbing Judy’s hair and her pulling your hair in reverse. You are both screaming at each other and then someone’s pulling you away from her.

“I have never been in a fight before,” you say to a stranger sitting next to you. Is this the person who pulled you away? You don’t know where you are. You can’t believe what you have just done. You just snapped and…

“You can go in now,” the secretary speaks looking at you and you stand up and head into the room. When you enter you see Hoseok sitting behind the desk. Oh yeah, you remember his been promoted to a partner now.

He gives you a disappointed look and tells you to sit down. You do as you are told.

“You don’t know how saddened I was to hear that you of all people were in a fight inside the building, this is unacceptable __,”

“I’m sorry,” you manage to say with your head facing down.

“Why? Everything was going so well for you here, after that brilliant presentation we were even discussing promoting you next month,” he stops and lets out a heavy sigh. But you don’t say anything.

“If it was up to me I would have just told you both to go home for the day and calm down but with new management and the company looking to go on in a new more positive direction I have no choice but to suspend your contract indefinitely.”

A single tear rolls down your face and you get up saying “I’m sorry,” before walking out of the office.

You want to cry but you don’t. Not here. You hold back the tears and lift your head up high as you march outside the hallway down the stairs and outside the building.

Suspend your contract indefinitely….you hear again and again in your head. You carry on walking and then search inside your bag. You can’t find your wallet. Of course of all days today is the day you forget it at home. You search your bag and find some change that is enough for a bus to take you home.

You stand at the bus stop your mind in disarray as to what has transpired in the last 48 hours. You start to feel light headed all of a sudden so you go to sit down on the bench as you wait for the bus. Sitting down makes you feel a little bit better.

Shortly after the bus arrives and you pay for your ticket but as you are walking towards the seats at the back that light headed feeling returned, everything starts spinning and darkness overcomes you and the last thing you see is the floor moving towards you.

…………

“young lady, young lady,” you hear as you half open your eyes. Is she an angel? You see a figure surrounded by white lights.

“Can I ask for your pin so I can call someone to get you,” the angel speaks. You blink a few times and then mouth 4599 before closing your eyes and letting the darkness consume you again.

……….

That is until a loud beeping sound wakes you up. You squeeze your eyes shut and then lick your dry lips. You slowly open your eyes and then blink a few more times. Surprisingly you feel a lot better than you did before. When your eyes finally adjust to the unfamiliar surroundings that look like a hospital room you then honestly curse the heavens for making you end up here.

“How are you feeling?” a deep strained voice says. You turn to the side of your bed and see Jimin sitting on the chair beside you with his eyes red holding your hand.

You blink a few more times, I must have really bumped my head hard when I fainted, no way Jimin….

The door slides open and Jungkook followed by a nurse enter the room.

Jimin’s hand instantly releases yours and he leans back into the chair.

“Ah, good you are finally awake,” the nurse smiles at you. She looks peppy you observe.

“It looks like you fainted on the bus and an ambulance was called to get you. I’m sorry I wasn’t sure about an emergency contact so I called the two numbers you call the most,” she smiles.

Really lady…..you just stare at her blankly not even bothered to fake a smile.

“We took your bloods when you arrived and the doctor should be here with the results, but there’s nothing to worry about, these things do happen but mostly it’s nothing serious,” she finishes her sentence and then reaches down to pick up your chart and begins writing something down.

Whilst she does that you look at Jungkook at the end of the room with his arms crossed on his chest. The corners of your mouth ever so slightly lift up. He came, he didn’t have to but he still came.

Looking from Jungkook who is facing the ground to Jimin on the chair a part of you feels a little bit of joy as this has confirmed that even though they’re both mad at you when they knew that you were in trouble they still came.

The door suddenly slides open and the doctor enters.

“You must be __, how are you feeling?” He asks looking at you and then nurse all the way down to the papers in his hands.

“So your blood results have come back and they show that…” he pauses and looks at Jungkook who is behind him facing the ground and Jimin on the chair who has suddenly sat up.

“Congratulations, you are currently three weeks pregnant.”

The room falls silent.

………………….

“Hahahahahahahaha,” you start laughing and strangely enough you can’t stop…

You are pregnant.

“Hahaha,” you carry on laughing. The doctor and nurse join you. “It is indeed wonderful news, congratulations, do you know who the father is?” The nurse asks all cheerful and innocent like.

And you laugh even louder, do i….do i?

“Of course, his in this room with us at this very moment,” the only problem is I don’t know which one of the two guys in here is the father.

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End Comments -  I'm speechless...like a lot happened. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you again to everyone who has read this story this far.      [Next Chapter]