#// the point is was trying to make is that he could be anywhere from 22 to 27. younger even in his canon verse if writing past events but

[trashcreatyre]

I think the main thing that pisses me off about like 90% of mephiles ships is that people will be like "how old is he??" Look that fanwiki says that he's ten and they RUN with it. Like they don't read further. I'm so convinced that most people don't even know the plot of 06 bc the shit I've seen people draw and write with the characters is just mind boggling.

[weptsorrow]

// ivan is canonically only 22 y.o. but honestly in some verses i'll probably age him up a little.....

[vitalverstappen]

How Do I Do This? - D. Ricciardo

summary: after a public divorce with your ex-husband (not danny), you found yourself learning to try again

pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x famous!reader

warnings: mentions of divorce, drinking, swearing

word count: 1.1k

masterlist

The divorce was messy. There were disputes over literally everything: who got what, how much money both of you got, who kept the dog. And it didn’t help that the media got a whiff of what was happening. Your failing marriage was plastered on every single outlet. 

It was for the best that you hid away from the public for a while. The pieces of you had shattered on the floor, and you needed the time to put yourself back together. 

A few months later, you slowly began putting yourself back in the public eye. Small trips to the coffee shop, out to lunch with some friends, or a smaller awards show. 

During this outing, you found yourself out to lunch with your childhood best friend, Kelly. She had been there through the thick and thin of your marriage, and the resulting divorce. There was nothing about your life that she didn’t know. 

She knew so well that she could tell you were healed, and truth be told, you were. So it was no surprise when a mischievous grin formed on her face. 

��What’s that look for?” You asked, already knowing what the answer was going to be

“Soooo” Kelly started “There’s this guy I know. A good friend of mine.”

“Wow, you have friends other than me. I’m hurt” You joked as you took a sip of your drink. It was obvious what she was hinting at. 

“Yeah, believe it or not” She laughed “But I think they’re your type y/n. His name is Daniel.” 

Kelly flipped her phone around to show you a picture of the man. Dark curly hair, brown eyes, and a charming smile. As much as you hated to admit it, he was your type. 

Leaning back in your chair, you crossed your arms. It had been years since you dated. And honestly, it terrified you having to have a conversation about someone’s favorite color again. It terrified you to have articles written about you again. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready.” You admitted “I can’t even remember what it’s like going on a first date. My last one was back when I was 22.” 

“Oh come on, y/n. It doesn’t have to be anything serious. Just one date to test the waters. Get yourself back out there.” Kelly explained, “It can be in secret so the tabloids don’t write anything.” 

She was right. The date didn’t have to go anywhere. You could meet the guy, say you weren’t feeling it, and leave it at that. No attachments, no tabloids. 

“Fine,” You sighed, defeated. “Send the guy my number. I am not making the first move.”

You had honestly forgotten about the conversation with your friend. Days had passed and you hadn’t gotten a text from a new number. He probably didn’t want to text you. Or your agent had seen the text and thought it was spam. 

That is until one fateful night, your phone buzzed. 

Unknown: Hey y/n it’s Daniel. Kelly gave me your number

Amused, you picked up your phone. It took him long enough to get the confidence to text you.

You: Hey Daniel. I was starting to think Kelly forgot to lol

Only a few moments passed before your phone buzzed again. Another text from Daniel. 

Daniel: Lol that’s pretty much what happened. How’s your night going?

The two of you engaged in a bit of small talk over text. It was only a matter of time before he pulled the trigger on asking you out. 

Daniel: So I was wondering, are you free Saturday? I know a spot we could go - away from everything. 

Your fingers danced around your keyboard until you finally found a reply. 

You: Yeah I am! 

After rereading the text, you quickly deleted your response. It was just a little too desperate. 

You: Yup, I think so 

Again, you found yourself deleting the message. This time, too nonchalant. At least twenty different replies had to have been typed out before you finally gave up and responded with something simple and straight to the point. 

You: Yes

Immediately, you put your phone down, needing to connect back to your world. It was hard to fathom that you were back in the dating scene. Never did you think you would be back starting at square one. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by your phone buzzing once again. 

Daniel: Great! I’ll pick you up at 7

And that’s how you found yourself panicking in your room Saturday evening. An excitement rushed through you that you hadn’t felt in years. It was like your teenage self was coming back to life. You and Daniel had texted off and on leading up, but today was the big day. 

Hours were spent digging through your extensive closet. Nothing that you had picked out seemed to be just right. Eventually, you landed on a little black dress that you hadn’t worn in years. 

Panic flooded your thoughts the entire time you got ready. What if you said something stupid? What if he brought up your divorce? What if it actually goes well?

Your thoughts were cut short when you read the clock: 6:52pm. Eight minutes left. 

You did the only thing you knew would calm your senses. Phone in hand, you called Kelly. One ring was all it took before her face showed up on your screen.

“Hey girl! You look hot!” She said as she picked up. 

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up” You admitted “I don’t know if I can do this” 

“Y/n, yes you can. It’s just a few hours of your life. Daniel’s a sweet guy-”

“Would it be wrong if I took a shot?” You blurted out, eyes on the bottle of vodka that stood on your kitchen counter. 

Through the phone, Kelly stifled a laugh. “I don’t think you need to, Danny’s an easy guy to talk to. But if you think it’ll help, be my guest.” 

Without a second thought, you twisted the cap off of the bottle and took a swig. The liquor burned your throat as you drank, but it was the reality check you needed. You were human, he was human. You’re going to be fine. 

“Better?” Kelly asked as you gagged 

Once you collected yourself, you said, “Better. I gotta go Kels. He should be picking me up any second.” As if on cue, you heard your doorbell ring. “Coming!” 

After one last quick look in the mirror, you found yourself at your door. Daniel was on the other side. This was it. One last inhale, then you opened the door. 

“Hey” Was all you were able to get out. Kelly had shown you photos of Daniel, but none of those could compare to how he looked standing in front of you. 

“Hi” He replied in the same breathy tone you had used only moments prior. A smile spread across his face. “You look amazing”

“So do you” 

Daniel reached out his hand, “M’lady, shall we?” 

Your lips parted into a smile as well as you laced your fingers into his, “We shall”

[leighsartworks216]

Kitty Cards

Sylus x gn!Reader

I will never ever win a game against this man istg

Warnings: losing, frustration

Word Count: 925

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

You swear he’s cheating. He has to be. There’s no way he just happened to draw three 6-point kitty cards to start with.

You look down at your own hand. Ah, yes, what a fine selection of ones and twos. None of the colors even match the cups!

“Sweetie, if you glare any harder, the kitties will jump out of the cards and run away.”

You turn your glare on Sylus. He’s sitting casually in the cafe chair, as relaxed as if he were back home. And that stupid smug smile! Ugh, it infuriated you to no end.

“Honestly, why do I keep inviting you to play if I’m just gonna keep losing,” you groan. You draw another card. Wow. A three. With no color matching cup. Fantastic. You sigh.

He chuckles and plays a card, doubling his 5 points to 10. At this point, it’s just sad. You’ve got 3 points to your name and he has 30-something at least. Maybe playing with him wouldn’t be so bad if you were anywhere close in scores, if he had 23 and you had 22. Enough to feel like it’s anyone’s game and not decided before you’ve even shuffled the deck.

Or maybe that would make it worse.

You play your 3-point card to keep him from getting the last cup. He lays his cards on the table, face down.

“Relax, sweetie. I’ve had plenty of practice in games with much higher stakes.”

“How many 6-point cards do you have right now?” you demand.

He smirks as he lifts up the edges to check. You know he remembers. The salt is ground ever deeper into your wounds. “None.”

“Mhm. And 5-point cards?”

“None.”

You frown, seemingly even more frustrated now that you know he just got lucky. “Well, what do you have?”

He fans the cards out for you to see, long fingers holding them apart.

All ones.

He chuckles again as you huff and snatch them from his hand to pile on the deck. You don’t look up at him as you shuffle repeatedly. He flags down a waiter who replaces the cups with new ones with staggering efficiency. You cut the deck no less than 3 times, to ensure complete randomness, and place them back in the center. He goes to draw a card, but you’re setting it in front of him before he can.

“You really don’t trust me, do you?” he muses, picking up his two cards.

You ignore him, looking from your hand to the cups. You have an advantage by starting with three cards, but he could have the better hand regardless. The game really begins when he makes his move.

It’s not even 5 minutes later that your head is down on the table.

“I’m never gonna beat you, am I?” you mutter, not even caring if he does or doesn’t hear you.

He hums, quietly gathering your cards and organizing the deck. He sets it back in the center of the array without shuffling. “Don’t worry, you can practice with the twins.”

You laugh dryly. “They cheat like it’s the objective of the game.”

“All the better to practice against them.”

You don’t answer. Sylus drains the last dredges of his coffee. Your drink hasn’t been touched since the first round, two games ago.

As amusing as your pity-party is normally, he knows the failure runs a little deeper today. Usually, you sigh and moan and whine, but it only spurs you on to try harder next time. He’d never thought he’d see the day you succumb to defeat.

He sighs and stands up. “Wait here, kitten.”

You lift your head up. There’s a red mark on your forehead from where it rested on the table. “Why? Where are you going?”

“It’s a surprise.” He smiles as he hands you his card. “Get a new drink and something sweet, kitten. I won’t be long.”

You glower at the card in his hand, but take it anyway. You don’t watch him as he leaves.

-

When he comes back, the table has been cleared of cards and empty cups. A half-eaten slice of cake has been pushed to his side of the table. He wonders if you wanted to share with him, or if you feel too bad to indulge.

You’re taking a sip of your drink when something is set on the table in front of you. Sylus sits back down and picks up the fork on the plate.

You blink, because surely you’ve fallen asleep in the cafe and this is just a dream. But the big, full eyes of the crow plushie continue to stare back at you. You look up at Sylus for answers.

“I’m not heartless, kitten. Even I can only bear to see you sad for so long.” He cuts a bite off the cake with the side of the fork. “It loses its fun if you’re really upset.”

You flush, from embarrassment or from watching him eat off the same fork you’d used when a clean one sat next to him on a napkin. Maybe both. You set your drink down and grab the plushie.

Its ruffle is a bit uneven, so you idly adjust it so it sits better. The fabric of its body is soft. You boop its little beak.

You look back up at Sylus. He still has his eyes on you, like he’s still not sure if you like his little gift. You smile and hug it to your chest. “Thank you.”

He grins in return. “You’re welcome, sweetie.”

[thewertsearch]

@manorinthewoods asked: Vriska and Eridan have now killed one person each. Tavros and Feferi's respective moons have been destroyed; as such, they cannot be revived via dream selves or the moon-crypt slabs. What do you think will happen now? ~LOSS (18/5/24) @manorinthewoods asked: Welcome to Murderstuck, aka Homestuck's version of Canaan House. Who do you think's going to survive this? ~LOSS (22/5/24) Anonymous asked: tavros and feferi are D----EAD! do you think they'll stay dead? you've already stated your opinion that there are death flags like crazy all over vriska, so do you think anyone else will die? if so, who? Anonymous asked: Now that the bodies have started to hit the floor, what's your prediction for who's gonna survive to meet the humans?

I'm actually doing to do something a little different this time, and analyze the situation primarily from an author's perspective, rather than an in-universe one. I had a lot of fun doing that with yesterday's Kanaya post, so I want to try it again.

Let's enumerate the remaining trolls, in ascending order of how likely I think they are to kick the bucket (😳) during Murderstuck.

There's no chance whatsoever that Sollux will die. His Doom prophecy is fulfilled, and if he were to die a third time, it would break his long-established duality theme. Plus, he'd have predicted it, and would have been complaining about it since Hivebent. He's fine.

Death flag score: 0/10.

We just got Aradia back. She's not even involved in Murderstuck, seemingly travelling to the Furthest Ring after being resurrected, so none of the murderers can touch her anyway.

Aradia is a powerful time manipulator who can freeze even the most dangerous enemies. It would take a lot more than Eridan and Gamzee to defeat someone who can stalemate Perfect Jack, and I predict that she'll survive the rest of the Act with ease.

Plus, killing her again so soon would feel really cheap. Been there, done that.

Death flag score = 0.5/10

Karkat and Terezi are too important to die.

This doesn't always guarantee a character's survival - A Song of Ice and Fire comes to mind - but ASOIAF kind of proves my point, doesn't it? Martin can throw all the Red Weddings he likes at us, but everyone still kind of knows that the really important characters aren't going to die until their arcs are complete. If A Dream of Spring ever actually comes out, Daenerys will still be around, and you can take that to the bank.

So no, I don't think Karkat and Terezi will be going anywhere. Now that Kanaya appears to be dead, they're undeniably the most important trolls remaining, alongside Vriska. And we'll get to Vriska.

Death flag score: 1/10.

I know it's weird to predict that an already deceased character won't die, but I wrote an entire post last night about why I believe this to be the case.

tl;dr: it doesn't make narrative sense for Kanaya to stay dead.

Death flag score: 2/10.

Now, we're onto the characters who I think might actually die.

Gamzee's still alive at the end of the countdown, so he'll at least survive the next couple of hours.

Certainly, his position seems rather precarious. His stated intent to wipe out the entire Veil will make him a lot of enemies very quickly - and based on the image above, he clearly gets into some sort of trouble. That scratch almost looks like it could be the work of Jack's sword.

However, I have a hard time believing the Most Important Character In Homestuck is going to die less than halfway through Homestuck. He's been saying all sorts of cryptic nonsense lately, and he strikes me as someone whose role in the story will expand even more than it already has. Gamzee is the one character on this list we know will stay relevant for the entire comic.

I don't think he's going to achieve his murder mission, of course. I think he'll probably be 'defeated' somehow, and expelled from the Veil by the surviving trolls, only to pop up again sometime later. There's still a chance that he'll be killed - but if he is, I'm 100% sure that he'll return in some form. Gamzeesprite would be even worse than Calsprite, in my opinion.

Death flag score: 3/10.

Yes, I still believe Vriska will die - but I don't know if she'll die in Murderstuck.

Scratch positioned her as someone who will perpetuate a monumental, large-scale mistake, and I don't think there's anything she could do on the Veil that fits the bill.

However, Vriska is more imaginative than I am. She could easily pull a trick out from up her sleeve that I didn't see coming - some terrible, horrible idea that earns all of Scratch's foreshadowing in one fell swoop. Vriska is known for her Incidents, and you never know when the next one is on the horizon.

Death flag score: 4/10.

There's not a lot tying Equius and Nepeta to the Veil, is there?

They don't have strong relationships any of the remaining trolls, and even among the B-team, they've barely had any prominence since we've left Alternia. Killing one or both of them would up the stakes of Murderstuck without introducing the narrative issues that, say, a dead Karkat would cause.

Plus, if one of them dies, then the other would immediately gain an incredibly strong motivation, and become a more prominent character overnight. I already like Nepeta - but a heartbroken, vengeful Nepeta hunting Eridan down across time and space? That's a fucking arc.

They could also both die, and return to the story from another direction. It hasn't escaped my notice that almost all the 'important' trolls are Prospit Dreamers, and the two Furthest Ring explorers are Derse girls. I've been wondering for a while now if the solution to the Veil's bloated cast is to split the trolls back into the Red and Blue Teams, with the Red Team joining the kids outside the session, and the Blue Team joining Aradia in the Ring for some secondary mission. I guess that implies Tavros will be resurrected, but there do seem to be hints that that might happen.

I don't want either of these two to die, but... well, killing them would raise a lot of interesting possibilities.

Death flag score (both of them together): 6/10

Death flag score (one of them) : 7.5/10.

Eridan is screwed.

Neither the story nor the trolls can allow him to ally with Jack and lead him to the Veil, and they'll do anything they can to stop him. I don't think anyone's inclined to show him mercy, either - Kanaya and Feferi were very popular.

I don't really see any way out for him. He has no allies, he can't Hopesplode everyone at once, and he's never shown himself to be particularly resourceful. I think if there's one troll practically guaranteed to be Murderstucked, it's him.

Death flag score: 9/10.

[incorrectbatfam]

Could you please do some headcanons about Batmans cooking disasters over the years?

Age 5: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

Age 6: He decorates a cookie so badly another kid cries until they throw up

Age 7: He tries to make a PB&J and the countertop is sticky for a week

Age 8: He tries to make Martha's chicken noodle soup but ends up crying on the kitchen floor surrounded by half-chopped vegetables

Age 9: He tries to impress a houseguest by recreating Thomas's mixology tricks (sans alcohol). There's still a stain on the ceiling to this day

Age 10: He makes green eggs. It's not on purpose. He's never even read the book

Age 11: He makes lava in the school cafeteria

Age 12: He tries to make cheese bread by drilling holes into a baguette and filling it with melted nacho cheese

Age 13: He melts a cutting board in the oven

Age 14: He folds a Pop Tart

Age 15: The chocolate-covered bananas he makes for the school bake sale come out looking very very wrong

Age 16: He's asked to drop a home economics class after mistaking refried beans for pumpkin puree in a pie

Age 17: He boils eggs in the carton

Age 18: He makes his entire freshman dorm evacuate after burning his ramen to ash

Age 19: He sculpts a severed hand out of meatloaf and is sent to the university psychologist

Age 20: He tries to bake a cake but doesn't have a cake pan, so he pours the batter right in the oven

Age 21: He tries Thomas's mixology tricks again, this time with alcohol. One of the tricks is flipping it over his head. He ends up losing part of his vision for 3 days

Age 22: He burns water. Harley Quinn is there. She still holds it over his head

Age 23: He packs his first patrol snack as Batman. It's a chocolate bar wrapped in a tortilla. The chocolate melts onto his gloves and he drops the tortilla down a sewer grate

Age 24: He makes an ice cream cookie sandwich to eat while he and Batgirl work on a case, but he's so engrossed in the work that he doesn't notice it melt until Babs points it out

Age 25: He enters the first annual Justice League cook-off and immediately gets banned from ever entering again

Age 26: He tries to comfort little Dickie Grayson by making fried cornbread from a book of Roma comfort recipes. It turns out about as well as you'd expect when you give Bruce Wayne hot oil. Bruce is genuinely bummed out, but Dick says it's the thought that counts

Age 27: Clark delivers a huge hunk of beef from the farm. Instead of waiting for Alfred to come back, Bruce and Dick try to break it down with a power saw

Age 28: Bruce and Dick's latkes are burned so badly they can play floor hockey with them

Age 29: He makes stuffed mushrooms. Badly. Like imagine the worst way you can fuck up a mushroom. It still won't compare to what Bruce did. And it's for a potluck with the West-Allens that Barry won't let him live down

Age 30: Bruce sees Dick struggling to make ravioli and he's like "Let me show you how it's done" before proceeding to make it infinitely worse

Age 31: Bruce sees a hungry Jason Todd and the first thing he does when they return to the manor is make a double-decker bread sandwich. That's bread with two more slices of bread in between

Age 32: Bruce packs Dick and Jason's lunchboxes when Alfred is out of town. They're supposed to include a salad. Instead, Dick gets a whole head of lettuce and Jason's is just a bottle of ranch

Age 33: He makes hot chocolate after patrol... but forgets the chocolate

Age 34: The Manor is too cold, so Bruce tries to warm it up by making Jason's favorite soup. His hands shake the whole time. Suddenly, he's eight years old again, sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by scraps reminding him of his failure

Age 35: Jack and Janet Drake are out of the country again, leaving young Timmy by himself. Bruce decides to bring some dinner over. It's baked perfectly, but it's full of things that shouldn't be anywhere near a casserole dish. They end up ordering takeout and watching old detective movies together

Age 36: Steph walks through how to make waffles. Bruce is standing there, watching closely and taking notes. They still come out looking radioactive

Age 37: Cass asks if they can get smoothies. Bruce says he can make them at home. She gives him a warning look but that's not enough to stop him. Cue Bruce forgetting to put the lid on the blender

Age 38: Jason's first night back at home, Bruce tries to make that soup. It shoots out like a geyser and hits the lights. He's panicking until he hears Jason laugh, and then the soup doesn't matter

Age 39: Damian screws up hummus and he desperately tries to hide it so people won't see him as inadequate at something so basic. Instead of getting upset, Bruce assures him it's okay and offers to fix it. (He doesn't fix it, he just makes it worse)

Age 40: Bruce's birthday happens while he's fake-dead and away from home. He grabs a convenience store cupcake and sticks a single candle on it. Then he closes his eyes, pretends his family is around him, and makes a wish. (The candle droops and sets the hotel sheets on fire)

Age 41: Back at the Manor, he attempts to make lemonade on a particularly hot day. Selina offers to help, but Bruce declines, saying, "How hard can it be?" (Spoiler alert: it's not supposed to be full of seeds)

Age 42: Kate shows him a video of Canadians pouring maple syrup into the snow to make candy, so he gets her to boil the syrup so they can do it together. The problem comes when they can't control the pour and end up with a glob the size of Damian

Age 43: As part of a school project, Bruce and Duke try to deduce the Coca-Cola secret formula. Duke's teacher takes a point off because at the beginning he told her he'd taste the results, but there's no way he's doing that now

Age 44: The family gets together to make a full English breakfast Alfred's birthday. Each person takes a part—Dick has eggs, Jason has the grilled tomatoes, Tim has mushrooms, Duke has the bacon, Steph and Cass are tag-teaming the sausages, Damian just has to open a can of beans, and Bruce needs to put bread in the toaster. It goes South immediately when Damian reaches for his katana instead of the can opener

Age 45: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

[arjudy224]

Three Times the Batfamily has been disgusted by your love life...

Dating is hard... but dating in Gotham... Oh Brother... Here are all the times the Batfamily has been involved in your love life.

1st time: Valentines Day

I've really gotta stop going for nerdy guys. This never ends the way I want it to.

"You know Eddie. You could have bought me dinner..." I call out to the rambling rogue behind me, "Scratch that... I can list off a hundred different date ideas.... That DO NOT INVOLVE THE BATMAN."

From behind, there is a swift crack followed by a muffled cry.

"I like flowers... I'm sure there was a way you could incorporate a riddle with those."

Footsteps draw nearer.

"I honestly don't even think you are trying. What does a child make, but never see? Come on dude... Work on on yourself. Restraints are fun, but this is ridiculous."

Suddenly, my restraints loosen. Stumbling to my feet, I swiftly turn around to see Batman's foreboding gaze staring down at me while my boyfriend lies face down 3 feet away.

"Are you alright?" Batman questions carefully noting my lacy heart pj's on top my push up bra. My diamond question mark necklace glitters in the darkness.

"Uh... yeah... Guess I should probably find an apartment where the Riddler doesn't live next door."

Batman sighs before patting me on the back. I am weirdly comforted by the paternal look in his eyes.

"That would be for the best."

2nd time:

Nightwing raises a pointed eyebrow before covering Robin’s eyes. Robin smacks his gloved hand away.

“Come on…. Y/N…” Nightwing trails off.

I interrupt him before this can get anymore humiliating. Being left to be eaten by a man sized Venus Flytrap after a date is not how I imagined my night to go.

“I do not need a life lesson; I have work tomorrow.”

Robin dutifully unties my restraints. He carefully looks anywhere else except my green lingerie.

Nightwing clears his throat. Rummaging through fallen leaves, he asks

“Do you know where she might have left your clothes?”

I shake my head before I start searching the drawers to the left of the nightstand. My sweaty palms create some difficulty turning the knobs.

“You know…” Nightwing continues leaning against the wall, “If you ever wanted to go on a date with someone who wasn’t going to be sent to Arkham… I’ve got this brother.”

My heart starts pounding. This is not happening. Robin’s jaw drops in disbelief.

“Are you seriously trying to set up Red Hood right now?” He gasps incredulously.

Both vigilantes listen to something being said into their ear pieces.

“Well, Jaybird. She’s prettier than anyone you’ve been talking to lately.”

My mouth gasps silently like a fish. Robin finally looks me up and down. He nods before agreeing. This child did not just....

Trying to ignore the hot waves of embarrassment, I finally force words to come out.

“GET OUT! I’ll find them myself!”

3rd time:

“Okay… but this time was not my fault.” I explain raising my hands in surrender. “How was I supposed to know that Two Face’s favorite song would be ‘22’? I have to make a living somehow!”

Batgirl tries to keep a straight face, but when she glances back at Red Robin… they both burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry….” She says trying to be professional, “This isn’t funny.”

“Uh huh…” I respond narrowing my eyes at them.

Realizing my mortification, their laughter slowly dies down. The teenage vigilantes grow as serious as possible.

“So, Two Face took you captive after you dedicated 22 by Taylor Swift to him?” Robin questions analyzing the crime boss’s office.

“Yes, I work at the iceberg lounge as a singer.”

“Where you ever an associate of Harvey Dent before his accident?”

My face goes red. This is not how I wanted today to go. I hate adding fuel to their fire.

“Something like that. I made some mistakes early in college.”

Batgirl bites her quivering lip to avoid laughing before composing herself. She checks her clip board left by Gordon.

“We’ll make sure GCPD gets back your… 2 themed underwear that went missing?”

I fantasize about those birds that slam their head underground to avoid conflict.

“I just want my computer. He can… keep the rest. I’m sure he’d like wearing it more than me.” I awkwardly trail off wrapping the robe tighter around my body.

Red Robin nods before muttering something into his ear piece.

“Okay, we’ll be on the search for that. I’m sure Red Hood can drop it off when he raids the lair tonight."

I start laughing before taking a step back. Putting my hands up, I interrupt.

“I can pick it up at Gordon’s office tomorrow. There’s… no need for… any of that.”

The two teens share a glance.

“Are you sure?” Batgirl inquires with a knowing smile in my direction.

I raise an eyebrow.

“Leave me out of this. I do not need to end up dead in crime alley because you guys thought it would be a good idea to set me up with your brother.”

Laughter can be heard in their comms. I vaguely make out “She’s got a point” in Nightwing’s voice.

With a reluctant grin, Batgirl shrugs. Before the vigilante duo leave, Red Robin flashes me an ornery grin.

“See you later.”

I respectfully flip them both off. Laughter echoes down the hallway as they leave.

[somehow-a-human]

Moonlight Serenade & Good Omens &... the TV show Lost...?

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY.

The music of Good Omens is something I have been ACTIVELY avoiding turning my focus on. The risks of hyperfixating and spiraling into it are HIGH. There are so many elements to get lost in, repeating motifs like Dies Irae, tolling bells, character themes... but I digress.

Could I hold out forever? no. and something finally pushed me over the edge. Wait for it..... Lost. Yep. The TV show Lost. WAIT WAIT, don't leave! STAY WITH ME! I promise I don't *think* I'm crazy and I have a point here!

Why Lost? And what does it have to do with Moonlight Serenade and WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH GOOD OMENS?! Well my lovelies continue under the cut with me and keep an open mind...

Okay so... Lost. Yes, the insane 2004 mystery plane crash island adventure drama. It's a wild ride, and a masterpiece and a little bit crazy, but overall pretty damn good. I've been on a rewatch spree and wouldn't you know it... parallels between lost and Good Omens popped up in my brain! I mean they are both intricate mysteries so it makes a tad bit of sense but there was one little detail that *might* be a *clue*, or just an easter egg if anything. I promise you don't need to know anything about Lost to follow this :)

First off, what are some of the recurring themes that Lost the TV show and Good Omens have in common you might ask?

Life & Death

Alternate timelines & Time Travel

Literary Allusions (Catch-22, The Bible, A Tale of Two Cities)

Prophecies & Premonitions

Symbolism of Black & White/ Light & Dark

Yeah okay that tracks, but look there are 121 episodes of Lost and 12 episodes (so far) of Good Omens so there's bound to be some overlap for these two.

You'll be thinking about now, "BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MOONLIGHT SERENADE?!" I'm getting there, shhh, lemme pet your hair gently and keep giving you background information to build it up shhhh...

If you've never seen Lost there is a very good chance you're mighty confused at this moment, so let me reassure you, you don't need to know anything about it to understand the connections I'm going to make. A brief synopsis is: Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island. The plane crash survivors quickly discover the island is more than it seems to be and holds many secrets and mysteries. A lot of people die, most of them are murdered, it's giving Lord of the Flies if it was in the horror genre. That's honestly all you need to know.

Time Travel & Alternate Timelines

Time travel is cannon in Lost. It's super confusing and I'm not even going to try to explain any of it here. It's honestly just not worth it. If you'd like to try and read about it, the abridged version is here, but I don't think the details are important. Just know it's real and confirmed and exists.

Okay so, *SPOILERS FOR LOST WILL FOLLOW* In Lost season 2, episode 13 "The Long Con" two of the plane crash survivors are trying to find a signal on a radio they've found. While scrubbing they come across a signal playing Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. One character mentions it must be from somewhere nearby, but the other counters that this type of radio can pick up signals from anywhere in the world. There is a beat and then another character jokingly adds "Or any time. Just kidding, dude."

It's later confirmed that the Lost characters in 2004 are indeed picking up a radio signal from 1940 that is playing Moonlight Serenade, a product of time travel.

Congratulations, you've made it to the point where I'm going to bring Good Omens into the mix. In season 2, episode 4 "The Hitchhiker" we open seeing Aziraphale driving back from Edinburgh late at night/early morning. Uncomfortable with the darkness and silence he asks the Bentley to "play something that's got a bit of swing? I'm in the mood for something modern."

The Bentley obliges the angel, as she always will, and we are shown a shot of the radio specifically lighting up, so we know she's tapped into the radio to play this for Azi, but there is no channel selected.

Compared to Season 2, Episode 3 "I Know Where I'm Going" when we see the radio is playing and does display the channel.

But hold on. Okay maybe it just isn't showing the channel, that's fine, but Aziraphale asked for "modern"? Moonlight Serenade is most certainly not modern. It was recorded in 1939! I'd say in 2023 it's anything but modern, maybe not in Aziraphale's long lived opinion, but certainly in the Bentley's opinion, given she's only a 97 year old car.

I think you can see now what I'm saying here. I think the Bentley picked up a radio signal from 1940, maybe 1941? Episode 4 is of course our 1941 blitz magic show bullet catch flashback extravaganza, so... it makes sense. I know we like to headcanon Crowley and Aziraphale listened to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square in the bookshop in 1941 after the bullet catch, but what if they listened to Moonlight Serenade on the radio instead?

What does it mean?

A reference to this small moment from Lost could be a nod to the first hint of the canonization of time travel in that series. We know Crowley can control time to some extent and we can see some evidence of time discontinuities and possibly time weirdness in season 2 so is it a hint that timeline funkiness IS happening? Do I want to get into the fact that the main character in The Hitchhiker, the Twilight Zone episode this episode is named after, is actually dead? No I don't, not now anyway.

Or it's just an absolutely lovely little Lost easter egg.

SO! There it is... weird little connection that I couldn't get out of my brain. It just seemed a bit too... ineffable.

As always this is all for fun and all for fans! Don't ask Neil about these things, they're for us to have fun with. And something else that I don't think some people on here understand about meta-analysis; the goal of it is not necessarily to be correct. It can be, if that's your thing. Refuting peoples posts, theories, analysis, and headcanons because you personally don't agree with them and telling them they're wrong and stupid doesn't achieve anything. Meta-analysis is an exercise in critical thinking and creative writing. You could write meta about how Spongebob is a critique of the loss of christian values in modern society and you wouldn't be right or wrong, you'd just certainly be a person who wrote that for sure though. Just, be kind to each other, share ideas, you're allowed to disagree with someone's ideas or have different ones of your own but don't be cruel in saying so, don't call someone stupid, that's just silly.

Love you all, do something kind for yourself today <3

ps. The moment I see Michael Sheen with blonde hair come January I'm gonna bark like a dog, that's all. Thanks.

[brbsoulnomming]

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies Part 25

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | AO3

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The silence that echoes through Forest Hills is deafening. It's never been this quiet, not in the whole time that Eddie'd lived here, and if that doesn't drive home how alone they are out here, nothing will.

For a long moment, the only thing he can hear is the sound of his own heart beating.

"Put all that stuff on the ground," Jason orders. "Slowly."

It's not like Eddie's in a position to argue with the guy pointing a gun at them. And yet -

"Don't you read the news?" he bitches as he slowly crouches down to put his boxes on the ground. "I was cleared of all charges."

Jason scoffs. "You may have the police and the news fooled, but you can't trick me. I know what you did to Chrissy and Patrick. I know it was you, I saw you at the lake."

"Whatever you thought you saw-" Eddie starts.

"Don't!" Jason shouts. "You think I haven't already heard it? My own family and friends telling me I'm crazy, that I'm just grieving? I know what I saw, you freak!"

"Hey, hey," Steve says. "No one's saying you didn't see anything, okay, just that it wasn't what it looked like."

Eddie can hear the crunch of gravel again, and he risks darting his eyes away from Jason towards Steve. There's a flash of hurt when he sees that Steve is moving away from Eddie's side - until he sees that Steve may have put his box down, but he's still holding his bat.

It's not over his shoulder anymore. Now it's held like a weapon, and he twirls it like a fucking maniac who's just screaming to draw attention from the guy pointing a gun at them.

Eddie's hindbrain notes that it's extremely attractive, just like it did when he saw Steve ripping a demobat in two, and he firmly tells it to shut the fuck up.

Jason shifts the gun so it's pointed entirely at Steve, instead of just hovering between the two of them, and even in the light of the sunset Eddie can see the hint of satisfaction in Steve's eyes, and -

Of fucking course his stupid soulmate is trying to make himself a bigger target to Jason.

Fuck that.

Eddie opens his mouth to try to get Jason's attention back, but Steve beats him to it.

"I don't want to fight you, Jason, even if you didn't have a gun," Steve says.

The prickle of a lie springs up on the back of Eddie's calf, and he briefly wonders what the hell Steve's doing before it hits him - Robin.

This could work, all they have to do is stall long enough for Robin to get help sent over here.

"This isn't about what anyone wants," Jason snaps. "This is about justice for Chrissy and Patrick, I'm just the only one willing to step up and do anything about it."

Steve snorts, spreading his arms and swinging the bat in a low motion. "Look around, man. You're sitting in Forest Hills, after it got wrecked, with a gun pointed at me. That's what you're calling justice?"

"You can still leave, Harrington," Jason says. "I don't have any beef with you. You're one of us, you know? You were one of the greats. You can leave right now, and it won't matter that this freak got you under his spell."

Steve's grip on the bat tightens. "I'm not going anywhere, Carver. You think you can shoot me enough times to bring me down before I get close enough to use this?"

Jason's determined expression falters, the gun lowering just the tiniest bit, and for a moment Eddie thinks they might have him.

Then the gun swings around and points straight at Eddie, and the look in Jason's eyes goes dark with hate.

"No," Jason says. "But I can shoot him before you get to me. You don't want that, do you Harrington?"

Fuck.

"Come on, man, I-" Eddie starts, then immediately clamps his mouth shut when he sees Jason's finger slide over the trigger.

"One more word from either of you and I shoot you right here," Jason says.

Eddie can't see anything but the barrel of Jason's gun right now, so he has no idea what Steve's doing, but he's just as silent as Eddie.

"Here's what we're going to do." Jason pulls something out of his pocket, tosses it at Steve. It hits the gravel with a faintly metallic clink. "You're going to toss that bat away. Then you're going to put those on, handcuff yourself to the railing right there. The Freak and I are going to take a little walk, and you're going to tell me everything you did to them. If the police won't make you confess, I will."

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"No, man, come on, leave Steve out of this, I'll go with you, just don't-"

"You want to die right now, Munson?" Jason asks. "I told you to shut up."

"All right, Jason, all right," Steve says. "I'll do it, okay? I'm going to toss the bat away."

Eddie risks a look over at Steve, sees him toss the bat aside somewhere and slowly pick up the handcuffs Jason threw at him.

"It's okay, Eddie," Steve says when he catches him looking. "It's going to be okay."

It isn't a lie, but at the moment, Eddie's not entirely sure how the fuck anything about this is going to be okay.

Steve cinches one cuff around his wrist, then takes a few steps back towards the trailer. He has to twist at a little bit of an awkward angle, but he manages to hook the chain of the handcuffs through one of the slightly warped rails of the front porch. Then he snaps the other cuff shut over his other wrist.

"Let's go, Munson," Jason says.

Eddie looks back over to him, and Jason makes a motion out towards the woods.

Jesus Christ, the woods again.

Eddie swallows, trying to tell himself that one pissed off jock with a gun is a lot better odds than a dozen of them, or a swarm of demobats, but with said gun pointed right at him he's not sure how convinced he is of that.

"Hey, Munson?" Steve calls.

Eddie doesn't look at him, but he hears Jason's footsteps slow a little, like he's waiting to see what parting words Steve has to say.

"I'm not going to be able to get out of this," Steve says. His voice sounds genuine, like he's admitting to something he doesn't want to, but Eddie feels the prickle of words being written on the side of his knee. "I can't come after you."

More words, along the back of his shoulder.

"Just do what he says, okay?" Steve asks.

No words this time, but Eddie gets the message loud and clear. He's not sure how Steve's decided he can get himself out of the handcuffs, and he wants to tell him not to hurt himself, but Jason's footsteps have picked up again.

"You heard him," Jason says, triumphant and vicious. "Get moving."

Eddie does, and even though there's still a pit of dread at the bottom of his stomach, and his heart is racing, and his hands are clammy with fear - there's still hope there.

He's not an NPC anymore.

He has Steve, and he has Robin, and he knows there's people on his side coming for him. He's part of the party now, and he realizes that not only does he trust them completely - but he believes without a doubt that they won't leave him behind.

Eddie's not going to die, not today.

All he has to do is stall Jason long enough for them to come find him.

"Do I get an idea about where we're going?" Eddie asks.

"Lover's Lake," Jason replies.

"Didn't know you had that kind of outing planned for us." The words are out of Eddie's mouth before he's even finished thinking them.

He regrets them immediately, even before he gets a hard push between his shoulder blades.

Eddie stumbles, his footing slipping over the slick forest floor, and he barely manages to avoid ending up on the ground. There's a flare of pain in his side from the quick, jerking motions he'd had to do, and his left leg twinges a little, but nothing too bad.

Still, it's a reminder that he needs to be careful.

"You shut your disgusting mouth," Jason spits at him. "We're going to the last site where you cast your Satanic spell. You're going to tell me everything you did, and then you're going to undo the curse you put on Hawkins."

Jesus Christ, Jason's completely lost it.

He guesses it's not surprising, considering what Jason saw with Patrick, but any amount of empathy Eddie might have had for the guy was completely gone the moment Jason pulled a gun on them and made Steve handcuff himself to that railing.

Eddie saw terrible things, too, and somehow he managed not to start waving guns around and threatening to kill people.

He remembers what Steve said, about experiencing something like this making you see yourself in a different light, finding things out about yourself that you might not like. Despite what Steve'd told him, he's still struggling with how instinctive it was for him to run and how much of a coward it makes him feel like, but you know what? He'd rather be a coward than end up like Jason.

If he wasn't concerned Jason might actually shoot him for saying something again, he might point out the irony of it all - that the scary Freak saw Vecna's attack and went into hiding, while the golden boy went on a murderous warpath.

Instead, he focuses on trying to move as slowly as possible, dragging his feet through the dirt and leaves and kicking up rocks and pinecones.

For one - he doesn't actually want to get to Lover's Lake. Sure, the trek there is long enough that it'd give Steve plenty of time to get loose and Robin time to bring in the calvary, but then they'd all have to get out to the lake, too, and that's way too far for Eddie's comfort. For another - he needs to leave some kind of trail for Steve to be able to follow.

It pisses Jason off eventually, because the next thing he knows he's getting another hard shove against his back.

"Pick your feet up," Jason snarls.

Eddie hadn't been expecting this push, though, and this time he's not quick enough to keep himself standing upright. He stumbles, twists a little to avoid falling face first, and ends up on his ass in the leaves and dirt.

The pain in his side flares again, and fuck, he's going to be so pissed if he reopened one of his bite wounds just after he got the stitches out.

"Get up," Jason orders.

"Give me a minute, come on," Eddie says. "I'm not used to this."

Jason snorts in disbelief. "Should've thought of that before you picked this place to do all your Satanic rituals."

Eddie groans, pushing himself up into a crouch. He looks up - and realizes Jason's gotten cocky. The gun isn't pointed directly at him anymore, it's just held loosely in Jason's hand, pointed more at the ground than anything else.

His heart rate picks up as Eddie decides - fuck, okay, yeah, he's doing this.

He hangs his head down, making his breathing harsh and ragged like he's panting for air, and hears Jason give a mean little laugh.

"Sorry you skipped out on so much P.E. now, aren't you, Freak?" Jason taunts.

Eddie's hands dig into the ground under him, picking up a double handful of dirt and pine needles.

Then he surges up, throwing it all in Jason's face.

"Fuck!" Jason shouts, dropping the gun as he instinctively throws his hands up to try to protect his face.

Eddie doubts he has time to bend down and scramble for it, so he kicks it instead, sending it skittering away before he books it to hide behind a grove of trees.

"Get back out here, you freak!" Jason shouts. "You think I can't take you even without a gun?"

Part of Eddie wants to retort that Jason's ability to take him even without a gun is a) kind of in question, considering Eddie's both stronger than he looks and pretty fucking scrappy, when he isn't recovering from nearly dying; and b) exactly why he won't be coming back out, but, well.

Eddie's smart enough to know that saying anything will just draw attention to where he is, so for once, he shuts the hell up.

"Don't think you can get away from me," Jason says. "I won't stop until you've been brought to real justice. You killed Chrissy! She was beautiful, and perfect, and she should be alive right now, not you!"

Eddie bites the inside of his mouth, hard enough that he tastes copper, to avoid making any kind of sound. Part of him still thinks that's true, but he won't give Jason the satisfaction of admitting it to him.

"She was my soulmate!" Jason yells. "She never once told a lie, and neither did I! Neither of us had any words on our skin, we were perfect together, and you took her from me!"

All right, maybe Jason was a little delusional even before all of this.

"You took her from me, and I won't let you-"

Jason cuts off with a choked sounding noise. It's enough like the sounds Chrissy and Patrick had made choking on their own blood that Eddie feels a surge of panic, and he risks peeking out from his hiding spot to see if he's just gotten even more fucked.

But Jason isn't floating above the ground.

Or at least, not more than an inch or so, as his feet scrabble on the slippery pine needles.

Steve is right behind him, and the metal chain of the handcuffs still around Steve's wrists is pressed tight to Jason's neck. Steve's got him pinned back against him, using the few inches of height he's got on Jason to prevent him from getting his feet solidly on the ground.

"Next time you tell someone to handcuff themselves to something," Steve says conversationally. "You should make sure they can't rip it free."

Jesus fucking Christ, Steve needs to stop doing things like this, or Eddie's not going to survive it.

Metaphorically.

Literally, he's very grateful for Steve continuing to do things like this to ensure Eddie's continued survival.

"You okay, Eddie?" Steve calls.

"Yeah," Eddie replies, finally coming out from his hiding spot. "I'm, uh, a little banged up, but otherwise good."

Seeing him seems to spur Jason on, though, because instead of scrambling at the chain around his neck, he tries to knock his head back into Steve's.

Steve seems ready for that, because he's got his body angled so Jason's head falls back against his shoulder. Still, the motion sets both of them rocking back, and though Steve keeps his balance, Eddie hurries over to help.

He's almost there when Jason balls up his fist and slams it back into Steve's face. Steve doesn't let go, so he does it again, and again, and again, and by the time Eddie's there, the last hit must have been enough for Steve's grip to loosen.

Jason slips from Steve's grasp, pushing both of them as he scrambles away. He's choking and sputtering, stumbling over himself, and he makes it only a few paces away before he's on his hands and knees on the ground, sucking in ragged gasps of air.

"You can't take both of us, Jason," Steve says.

Jason scrambles back more, then manages to get himself to his feet.

It's only when Eddie sees the gun again that he realizes Jason wasn't trying to scramble away from them, he was trying to scramble to something.

Shit.

"I'll go with you," Eddie says. "Same plan, okay? You want me to go to Lover's Lake, tell you everything and undo the curse? Just leave Steve out of this."

Steve glares at him, but Eddie doesn't care. Jason looks even more unstable than before, and Eddie's not letting Steve get shot because of him.

Jason shakes his head. Eddie's not sure if it's in response to him, or if he's just trying to clear it after getting choked, but he guesses it doesn't really matter.

Jason's got the gun pointed right at him, and doesn't seem to be inclined to start moving again.

"You said you wanted justice, but that's not really what this is about, is it? It's revenge. You're in pain, and you want Eddie to suffer, too," Steve says.

"What's wrong with that?" Jason demands. His voice sounds absolutely wrecked, like every word is hurting as it's pulled from his throat, and yet he keeps talking anyway. "He deserves it! He deserves to be punished for what he did to Chrissy and Patrick, for what he's done to me!"

"This isn't how you punish him," Steve says. "You think he's in league with Satan, right? So you kill him, and then what happens?"

"He goes to Hell!" Jason shouts. "He goes to Hell where someone like him belongs, where-"

Jason cuts off, and Steve smiles.

"Yeah," he says. "He goes to Hell where he belongs. What kind of nice welcome you think someone in league with Satan's gonna get? Maybe a throne, maybe a new army to command?"

"Maybe I'll get to be a duke," Eddie adds. "A Lord of Hell, that sounds pretty damn good."

"Shut up!" Jason hisses at him.

Still, he falters, and Eddie can practically see the cogs working behind his brain. "It's worth the risk," Jason says, but he doesn't sound as sure as before. "I can't just let him stay here and do it again. He won't confess, the police won't do anything, so this is the only option."

The gun is still pointed right at Eddie, and he contemplates the merits of moving to hide behind a tree again. Jason's barely standing, he's pretty sure the guy's aim is going to be shit right now.

He's pretty confident both he and Steve can get under cover quicker than Jason can shoot.

"You can teach him a real lesson. He took your soulmate from you, you take his from him," Steve says.

Jesus Christ, Eddie's going to kill him.

Jason laughs, harsh and mean. "A freak like this doesn't have a soulmate."

"Steve, don't you fucking dare," Eddie says, too terrified by what he knows Steve is doing to worry about keeping his mouth shut like Jason demanded.

"Yeah, he does," Steve says, completely ignoring Eddie.

The fucker.

Steve taps his chest with his still cuffed together hands. "You're looking at him."

Jason turns his focus entirely on Steve, and Steve gives a significant look to Eddie.

Eddie knows exactly what he wants. He wants Eddie to make a break for it while Steve has Jason's attention. Eddie assumes that Steve's noticed Jason's physical state the same as Eddie has, and drawn the same damn conclusion - only he wanted to make sure that Jason's gun was pointed at him before they both ran for it.

Never mind that Eddie'd just had the same plan when the gun was on him. He's not willing to risk it when it's pointed at Steve, and fuck, when they get out of this, that's probably something they're going to have to talk about.

Right now, he stubbornly stays right where he is.

"You? No way," Jason says.

"Why do you think Eddie kept asking you to leave me alone? You think he'd give himself up for someone if he wasn't soul bonded to them?" Steve asks.

"Don't listen to him," Eddie says. "I'm the one you want."

"He's not denying it, is he?" Steve says. "Because he knows if he does, I can show you the lie and prove it."

Fuck.

"Come on, Carver," Steve goads. "You said he took your soulmate from you. Don't you want to make him feel the same pain? I'm right here, all you gotta do is come get me."

No, nope, this isn't happening.

"Steve, stop, please," Eddie begs.

Shockingly - it works. Steve looks at him, and whatever he sees in Eddie's eyes must make him realize exactly how much Eddie does not want 'Steve throws himself in front of danger and takes the hits so no one else has to' to be Plan A here.

Jason's head keeps snapping back and forth between the two of them, but this time Steve stays quiet, not trying to get Jason's attention on him.

Instead, Steve tilts his head at him, and Eddie nods.

Run.

They both book it, in opposite directions, and sure enough, Jason must be too scrambled to act quickly enough to shoot either of them. For several long, terrifying moments, Eddie expects to hear the sound of gunshots, but all he hears is Jason's labored breathing and the sound of him stumbling a little as if trying to chase after one of them.

Eddie has no idea how much time passes as he stays hidden, listening to the those halting footsteps come closer, then veer away, then come close again. Jason's silent this time - either realizing that nothing he says is going to get them to come out, or in too much pain to keep talking.

Then, finally, there's the thundering sound of more footsteps approaching.

Before all of this, Eddie's first thought probably would have been oh fuck, Jason's buddies are here.

Now?

Now he has a soulmate - two soulmates, really - and a whole Party that he knows will always have his back.

Now he feels a giddy rush of relief even before he hears Hopper shouting, "Jason Carver, put your gun down," and Chief Powell echoing, "On your knees, now!"

They're okay, they're going to be okay.

Reaching the end now! I think I'm looking at one more part and potentially an epilogue.

-----

Part 26

Tag list (always happy to add more!): @vampireinthesun @koibug @estrellami-1 @mentalcyborg @allbimyself26 @questionablequeeries @the-s-is-silent @whimsicalwitchm @a-gae-af-racoon @tinyplanet95 @n0-1-important @velocitytimes2 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @newtstabber @jcmadgirl @roblingoblin285 @lexyvey @paperbackribs @goodolefashionedloverboi @evix-syne666 @raisedbylibrarians @stxrcrossed186 @nightmareglitter @greekgeek24 @starman-jpg @crazyhatlady86 @imfinereallyy @manda-panda-monium @deleataecount @prideandsensibility @chaoticvictorianspirit @maydillydally @disrespectedgoatman @scarlet-malfoy @i-less-than-three-you @hbyrde36 @hallucinatedjosten @dragonsandgayships @arepaconchocolate @g4ys0n @novelnovella @bisexualdisastersworld @ghostofyourvampiregf @scarletyeager @pettrichore @nerd-and-nervous @hiimlevi @queenie-ofthe-void @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

you're gonna go far

eddie & wayne picture fic based on this post

(long post ahead, but bear with me)

4/10/1984 Eddie,  I’m starting this letter after you came home with the letter from the school saying you’re not graduating this year.  I could tell you didn’t believe me when I told you it’ll be alright, that it’ll all work out in the end. That it did for me when I had the same talk with my pa.. but you eventually stepped back from the edge, I think, you’re in your room now. There was something else there too, which is really why I'm writing this now. You have the same look in your eye that I saw in my own reflection long before I got drafted, the look I saw in your dad’s when Lizzie told us she was pregnant.  You’re already planning your escape.  And I won’t hold it against you when you do kick rocks, I just pray you give me a little warning so I can say goodbye. And I ain’t a praying man. I’m tucking away some cash with this for when you go. Don’t have much, but I have you. And I wanna make sure you have the best start you possibly can.

10/11/1984 It’s been rough for you again. Working at Merrill’s has been good for you. Getting fresh air, sunshine, shit, even your gangly noodles you call arms are looking less noodley. But they just sent you home early today.. something wrong with the crop and they won’t need the extra hands this season. That, starting school again, even Ronnie leaving last week.. I know you two kids were close. You ain’t even getting all excited for halloween! Adding some more cash for you, little more than I could last time.  Just hang in there kiddo. 

6/5/1985 I think you think you don’t know, and I’m willing to let you pretend for a little while longer, but shit, Eddie, you think I wouldn’t know when graduation was supposed to be just because you weren’t the one to tell me? You know I won’t be mad at you. If you don’t say anything for another week, I will. 6/7/1985 - There it is.

7/22/1985 I was able to talk you down again that night, and you ‘re getting back to your old self again. I still can’t believe you had your whole room all packed up like that. I’ll give ya that speech all over again as many times as you need, but I’ll write it down here for you: You’re gonna go far, Eddie. You’re gonna tear outta here next year and you’re gonna knock ‘em all dead. You are so talented, you are much more than any of us Munsons have ever been or will ever be, and you’re gonna be the biggest star in the world. You mark my words. And I know you’re gonna fight leavin’ when the time comes, thinking you need to take care of me or some crap but I promise you: The birds’ll still sing, the trailer will still creak, the leaves will die and fall like they do every year, but I’ll be here whenever you need to come back. I’ll be here as long as you need. If that’s forever, so be it.

8/15/1985 I’m taking you up north this weekend. Just to get away, y’know? Before your LAST senior year starts. Might be cutting it a little close on funds, happens when you’re trying to survive, but we’re overdue for a change of scenery. We ain’t living just to die. Only a little going in this time, but I’ll be damned if I don’t add something along with a new note.

10/5/1986 Been a while since I added to this, huh? Well, it’s finally happening. You are leaving tomorrow and boy did you make a stink before you did. Went on a whole tirade about needing to get out of this damn town, about not being able to get anywhere when everyone except me is against you. I wanted to point out that you’ve got your band guys and that Harrington boy in your corner too, but I didn't think you’d like me interrupting your whole big speech about who it is you love and being queer and all that with a “Yeah. I know. You and Steve make moon-eyes at each other all the damn time.” I’ll make sure to pass on your info to him when I get it. He doesn’t seem like one to hold a grudge (or at least not hold it long), so I'm sure he’ll be the first in line to greet you the next time you find yourself in our neck of the woods. Those kids’ll miss you too y’know. They’ll be college age before you know it. I’m gonna pack up this envelope and stash it in your stuff somewhere I know you’ll find it again. so you can find it when you need it. Can’t believe I managed to save you close to a grand. Not enough by a long shot, but it’ll help ya for a while. Been saving for a years now, y’know..  Now Eddie. I told you all this last year, and just now before you slunk off to bed, but here it is again, just in case you need to hear it: - I’m proud of you. - I love you more than you’ll know. - You love whoever it is you want to love (as long as i’m on that list somewhere) - I’m glad you’re getting out of here when you can. And I’ll continue to be glad that you did even when things get hard. When I’m doing all the chores around here myself, when I go visit Al in county even though I know all we’re gonna do is fight… I’ll be so grateful you’re making your own way in the world far from here. I’m not angry at you, Teddy. But you’ll be the greatest thing I’ve lost. I’ll always be here if you need me. Wayne

some notes!

-i hc wayne as a military man ofc and bc of that, my own sloppy, all caps, post military handwriting is perfect for him!

-i like to think eddie thinks he's slick and wayne didn't know he liked boys until he was about to leave but wayne knows. of course he knows. al told him why he kicked eddie out, wayne just didn't think it was his place to bring it up before eddie did.

-didn't think too much farther after this, but let's just say that steddie happens when eddie comes back to hawkins in a couple years when the shitheads graduate.

[linkedin-offficial]

quite curious about Bata Lore (ur art is very good!)

eep ty for the compliment !!! im realizing i havent talked much about her in completion anywhere, so ill try my best here.

bata was a moth that was born around the same time ilaw and ulo were rekindled. when ilaw found her, she was wandering aimlessly in wasteland and he managed to save her from a krill. ever since then, bata would follow him around. at this point in time, ilaw was still struggling with adjusting to the current state of the kingdom, so he did everything he could to ignore bata. but after she decided to go off on her own to try and impress him, he got worried and trotted after her once more to save her. he decided to finally just consider himself a parent now and ended up naming her 'bata' (very smart, i know)

ever since then she sort of followed him around on his journey through the realms, acting as a guide for things ilaw did not understand or could not interact with in any way. after meeting tofe ( @splatanastamprr ) in the wind paths, she spent most of her time there with them because ilaw began to spend lots of time within the wind paths. tofe also enjoyed bata's company, so it was a win-win.

this is how her life stayed for a long time, until she decided she wanted to help out the locals (and ilaw mostly specifically, being the very reckless individual he was at the time,) by becoming a medic, like her grandma. she had heard ilaw speak of her briefly, and the thought of being able to heal others made her feel like a sense of purpose was finally found for her. she had opened a clinic within the aviary around the age of 22.

theres more to her story past this, but im unsure if i want to make it canon ^_^ for now she just continues to work as a lovely little freelance medic helping others. surely this cant go wrong too badly !

[itsybitsybluesy]

OPEN WATER

ELUCIEN / EXPLICIT / WIP, 3 OF 6 CHAPTERS / CH1 CH2 CH3 Stuck in the Florida Keys and tired of letting her sisters make decisions for her, Elain ditches their group vacay plans and signs herself up for a scuba diving course on an impulse. The instructor Lucien tells her he’s never had to fail anyone after the four days she’ll spend with him. What’s the worst that could happen?

wow! this is, i kid you not, my first fanfic in over 10 years. i want you to dive right in (HAHAHA), but let me first say: i was having a really bad time earlier this year, and turned to the work of some fantastic, generous creators as a distraction from stuff going on.

you don't know me, but: @separatist-apologist and @the-lonelybarricade, thank you for the hours / nights / months i spent curling up to read your work and giggle, and really, converting me into a big big elucien stan. the elain and lucien living happily ever after in my head (or let's be real, living the 10,000 stupid idiots in love plots in my head) were born thanks to you.

p.s. i started posting this before @elucienweekofficial so let this be a fun little AU warmup while i get something else kicking around. i think i might??? actually finish this before the weekend so i'm going to ride the high of writing spicy fanfic for the first time ever(!) while it lasts and whip up something else next week if i can. i'm so happy to be here!

xoxo, and please, do NOT bother your dive instructors!!

[read a snippet under the cut]

It was a quick drive to Elain’s hotel, which looked out over the small, locals-only marina he’d been meaning to show her. Elain followed him trustingly down the dock as he led her towards the slip. “You know, I eat my breakfast out here,” she said, pointing to a swimming pier by the hotel restaurant. “Have you been following me?” 

“A coincidence,” Lucien promised, though his heart beat a little faster. “In fact, the question is, are you trying to steal my secret spot?” 

Elain gave him a confused look and Lucien grinned, turning from her to climb onto a small but newly-painted red sailboat. He extended a hand to help her get on. “Don’t worry, we’re not going anywhere,” he said. “I’m not much of a boat captain.” 

Elain stepped over to him, one hand on the rolled-up sail. “And yet, this boat,” she said. Her face said, why are we here? 

Lucien stretched his arms out. “This happens to be the most exclusive place to watch a sunset around here, I’ll have you know,” he said. Then he opened the cabin door, climbed down, and reached up a hand to her. “There’s more.” 

She followed him in, expression unreadable as she made her way down the ladder, then straightened and looked around. They were in a tiny, fully furnished apartment cabin. 

“Whoa,” Elain said as Lucien ducked to switch on the small A/C unit. “You are like, full of mysteries today.” Her voice was soft, leaving him room to fill in the blanks if he wanted to. Lucien reached into the minifridge he still kept plugged in, pulled out two Cokes, passing one to her as he fussed around the cabin to keep from looking at her. 

“When I graduated college, Jurian had this boat,” he started, and stopped for a moment. No one except Jurian and Vassa knew this about him. But she was so open and so lovely to him that he wanted to make up for rebuffing her attempts to get to know him, give her something real about himself even if she hated what she saw. 

“He had the shop, but I still had to get my instructor training, and pay for it too. My dad had died that senior year,” he said, “And my mom was figuring stuff out.” And he’d had no place to go, and not enough money in the bank to sign a lease, and nobody wanted him around. “It was temporary. I showered at the dive shop and ate a lot of microwave meals.” He shrugged. “When you’re 22 it’s like camping.”

He thought he’d die if he saw pity in her eyes, but when he turned, Elain was standing leaned against the lofted bed, fingertips resting on the sheets, eyes closed. She opened them and looked at him. “I can feel the boat rocking,” she said, almost in a whisper, with a small smile. Lucien was so grateful for her kindness he could burst with it. 

“I used to turn off all the lights and A/C when it was cool enough and just lie here and listen to the water,” he said, taking a step towards her. Elain watched him but did not move. There were no windows except a tinted skylight. The sheets on the bed were the same ones he’d made neatly and desperately every morning that long year, as if willing the place into a home beneath his hands. 

“I can hear it,” Elain said, eyes fluttering closed once again. Lucien watched her for a beat as she stood there, trusting him, and then crossed the distance between them and kissed her.

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 22 ~ Scars

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 5.4k

⚠️ TW : Mentions of attempted suicide & SH scars

In this chapter ~ When Rick and Shane decide to take Randall away from their people to drop him and fend for himself, things seem to go wrong on the other end. Beth becomes suicidal after witnessing the death of her mother just days prior, leading Rose to comfort her in a time of need. However, the heaviness that followed was a lot more than she anticipated, though luckily for her, Daryl helps her pick up the pieces.

It had been about two days since they brought Randall back, and he eventually woke from his unconscious state. Since then the place had been chaotic.

The group was constantly going around and around in circles about what to do with this guy, so much so it gave me a pounding headache. Because most of the time the arguments wouldn't go anywhere. People would just repeat the same things that had already been said, causing us to feel stuck in the same place as no one really had a solution.

Until Rick just made the final decision to do what he wanted to since the beginning, take the man far away from the farm and drop him off on his own.

So now that the man was finally able to walk and balance decently on his own, Rick and Shane took a car to drive him out in the middle of nowhere, leaving the rest of us nervously waiting for their return. Everyone eventually seemed to agree with the plan despite the possibilities of him coming back, but it's not like we had much of a choice.

I for one was trying to keep myself busy all day, helping Lori with some laundry, staying to keep watch on top of the RV, I even made a run into town earlier that morning with Glenn. We had found a few different stores in a small part of town that had some useful things in them. But there was a little something else I found that I was extra excited about besides the food and supplies.

When we walked into the last store, I saw it. The perfect thing to give to Daryl. I had never gotten him something in return when he gave me my sketchbook and watercolors, but now I had something that I thought would suit him quite nicely. It was a black leather vest with stitched angel wings on the back.

In my mind, I hoped he would really like it and I had planned to give it to him later that night. Once we all knew Randall was taken care of.

Currently I was washing dishes with Maggie, occasionally talking about random things, trying to get our minds off of what was happening today. I could easily tell she hadn't stopped thinking about it since it happened either, the anxious feeling of the man somehow making his way back to her own home couldn't have been easy to deal with. But I had hope that everything would work out just fine and things would begin to move smoothly again.

She wordlessly handed me the last plate that was in the sink, water dripping off of the edges as I took the towel in my hands to dry it. She leaned her back up against the counter as she stared down at her shoes, the sound of me stacking the final plate in the cabinet brining her out of her thoughts as she glanced back up to me nervously.

"Can I talk to you about something... more serious?" she asked.

I only nodded my head as I listened, throwing the towel back down on the counter to give her my full attention as I copied her stance.

"Well, Glenn's been avoiding me lately, and he told me that when he was out there trying to fight those guys, he froze at one point. He was saying that since I told him I loved him... that's the reason he froze, and my dad had to save his life. He said he was afraid to die... thinking about how it would affect me." she finished almost a little shamefully.

My eyes widened a bit as I was a little thrown off and not expecting that, but I was still quick to respond and reassure her. "Listen, I know that it might not feel too great that he's avoiding you, but the truth is he loves you too. I don't think he should be avoiding you, I think he should be cherishing these moments he has with you, but y'know he's a guy." I pointed out, giving her a look she would be able to read.

She laughed quietly to herself as she nodded her head in silent understanding, "But he'll come around, I promise. You just gotta give him a little time." I finished.

She pressed her lips together and nodded gratefully, "Thank you." she said, "I feel like I can really talk to you ya know? I'm glad you're here."

I smiled, "Yeah, me too." I spoke, opening my mouth again before closing it back up quickly. My dumbass almost slipped up and said something about how I was glad that I stayed, but I bit my tongue before it could come out.

My eyes then absentmindedly panned over towards the tray of food that Maggie had set off to the side a few minutes ago, "Is this for Beth?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

She followed my gaze and nodded, "Oh yeah, I was about to bring that up to her when we were done."

"Oh I got it, I was going to check on her soon anyways." I said, moving towards the counter.

She smiled gratefully, "Thank you. You know Beth really likes you. Ever since you taught her how to play those few songs on the guitar it's really all she can really talk about. I think seeing you would cheer her up."

"Yeah, I had fun teaching her, I'm sure she'll be ready to learn some more in no time." I reassured her.

Maggie nodded her head and I fully picked up the tray in my hands, walking out of the kitchen to head upstairs and into Beth's room. It seemed quieter than usual as I made my way up the familiar stairs, something seeming a little off. But I mostly blamed it on Rick and Shane's absence, still not here even after leaving early this morning.

For some reason the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, sensing something might go wrong out there, not necessarily with Randall. But with each other.

After what happened with the barn and the whole fight that came after that, the two had been at each other's throats ever since. It was way far off from how they used to act around each other, seeming more like brothers than friends. But something just clicked and now they almost acted like strangers. Though it was none of my business, I still noticed.

Pushing my thoughts aside, I made it up the long staircase and lingered by the closed door, knocking softly a few times before I entered. To my surprise, I heard her soft voice from the other side invite me in, causing me to open the door as best as I could with the tray still balanced in my hands.

"Hey hon, it's just me." I announced as I walked in, "I brought you something to eat, and to see how you were doing."

Her gaze panned over towards me, and my breath hitched slightly in the back of my throat. I knew that familiar look all too well. I tried to not let it affect me too much in case I was wrong, but I had a feeling I wasn't. She looked utterly broken and depressed, much more pale with bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She had just lost her mom, I came to find out that she was the walker Beth ran to after everything happened. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have felt worse for her after finding that out, now more than ever seeing her like this.

"You can just set it down here." she said, pointing over towards the side table next to her bed.

I did what she asked and stood there for a moment as she stared at the sandwich on the plate, "Do you want me to stay, or do you want some space."

"Some space. If that's okay?" she asked.

"Yeah of course," I said immediately, "Just...call if you need anything." I finished with a smile.

She barely gave me a noticeable nod before I turned on my heel to give her some time alone, but I couldn't just brush off the vibe I picked up. It again could be nothing, just being paranoid over something I was reading too much into. But in case I was right, I didn't just want to keep it to myself.

I ventured back down the stairs, peeking in the kitchen again to see if Maggie was around, but the room was empty by the time I got back. A sigh left my lips as I turned back around to try and find her, but I managed to spot Lori entering the house right as I was about to come down the hall.

"Oh hey, Lori?" I called out as I approached her.

She turned towards me with a small smile, hanging up her jacket, "Hey, what's up?" she asked.

My eyes glanced back up the stairs momentarily before turning back to her, slightly lowering my voice, "I just...I'm worried about Beth. She just seems a little off and I was going to find Maggie to let her know but-"

"I can tell her." she offered with a nod, "I'll keep an eye on her until she comes back."

"Yeah that would be great." I spoke gratefully, "She's just up in her room and wanted to be left alone... but I don't know I think Maggie should know."

"Absolutely." she agreed instantly, "I'll tell her the next time I see her, okay?"

I nodded, "Thanks." I said with a small smile, passing her as I moved to exit the house.

I felt a little bad not telling Maggie about it myself, but knowing someone else would keep an eye out for Beth gave me a little piece of mind. I didn't want to hover over her or pick up any overprotective instincts even though in the back of my mind I knew it was inevitable. I just wanted her to be okay.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, leaving nothing much to do around camp and everyone simply doing their own thing for the day. After not being able to find Maggie, looping around the farm a couple of times, I assumed she was back in the house at this point. So I took the much needed time to myself.

A few hours passed by with me just laying down in the yellow tent trying to relax as best as I could. Spending most of the time reading the book Daryl had stolen from me when he got hurt and it actually turned out to be pretty good, only drawing me more in with each chapter. The details were amazing and I loved the plot. I didn't plan on giving this back to him anytime soon.

I hadn't seen him for most of the day because he decided to go out hunting fairly early in the morning, leaving camp before the sun even rose. He offered for me to come with him, but I declined as I needed to go out on that run with Glenn to get some things for myself, and he understood. I just hoped he would be back soon along with Rick and Shane who continued to be gone for far too long.

Damn it was like everyone was missing today.

After closing in on the last chapter, I finally shut the book after what felt like forever, blinking my eyes a few times to adjust them. For hours I had been reading tiny words on these pages and I felt that it was time for a break. So, I placed the book back in my bag, standing to leave the tent and walked outside a little to stretch my legs, leaning from side to side as I was hunched over for many hours.

I glanced around the small camp to see who was around, before my eyes suddenly stopped on Carl sitting by the RV. He seemed distant as he glanced at the comic book sitting in his lap, barely reading over the pages as he sloppily flipped through them. A pain in my chest suddenly dispersed upon seeing him like this, knowing that he hadn't been the same since he witnessed Sophia coming out of that barn. But who could blame him?

He was grieving in his own way, separating himself from the others as much as he could for just some time alone to think. I hadn't had a proper conversation with him since that day everything went wrong, keeping my distance as that's what he seemed to wish for. But I shook my head as I began to walk over towards him, wanting to talk to him for the first time in what felt like too long.

"Hey kid." I greeted him.

He glanced up and gave me a slight smile, "Hey." he spoke as he closed the book to give me his attention.

I moved to take a seat next to him on the ground, "So, what're you reading? Tell me about it." I said.

His eyes lit up "Really?"

I chuckled a little, "Yeah, why not. Who's this?" I asked, pointing to some sort of superhero.

His excited demeanor never faltered as he went on to tell me everything that was happening in this comic book. Who all of the characters were, what their powers were, and what their mission was. This was one of the first times I had seen him get excited about something in what felt like forever, and it warmed my heart at just the sight. He began to slowly open up a little bit more the longer we talked, changing the subject a few times to talk about his favorite cartoons he used to watch before the outbreak.

I enjoyed watching him smile, it felt like it had been some time since it last happened, and I was just glad to distract him even if it was only for a few minutes. A kid his age should never have to go through half the shit that's he's been through, though he was tougher than I ever could've imagined.

After we finished talking for a while, I left him to read it in peace after that. I wanted him to have his space too, and I never wanted to overstep any boundaries, especially when it came time to grieve someone.

I found myself heading back into the house to grab something to eat afterwards, but as soon as I walked in, I jumped a little as I suddenly heard screaming from just up the stairs. I didn't hesitate for a second before I was rushing up the steps two at a time, jogging into Beth's room to see Maggie and Lori were yelling and banging on the bathroom door.

"Woah, woah, what's happening?" I asked.

Maggie's head whipped around to face me, "Beth...Beth tried to kill herself and now locked herself in the bathroom, I heard glass." she spoke quickly, continuing to pound on the door, pleading with Beth to listen.

Panic flooded through me. She tried to kill herself? And was now attempting again? I stood in the doorway frozen in shock as I felt as though I couldn't move a thing. But then my eyes quickly darted around the room, looking for something to get the door open. Lori had moved to search the room for the key, frantically looking through her drawers as fast as she could, but I spotted a metal rod sitting in the corner of the room. I didn't think twice about it as I stepped forward, picking it up in my hands before telling Maggie to move out of the way quickly and she jumped back.

Sticking the thing in between the lock and the wood, I pushed on it as hard as I could in an attempt to pry it open. There was a sudden crack after a few seconds before the wooden door suddenly flew open, revealing Beth standing there with her hand over her wrist, blood pouring out of it. Her head whipped over to us frantically as soon as she heard the door breaking, tears streaming down her face and her heart no doubt racing out of her chest.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed, and Maggie didn't waste anymore time as she went in to pull her close.

I ditched the metal rod in my hands, stepping inside the bathroom only to realize how severe the cut actually was. Blood was now running down her arm and onto the tile floor, the amount of pressure she was putting on it clearly wasn't enough. I quickly placed my hand on Maggie's shoulder to get her attention, gently pulling Beth out of her hold.

"Go get your dad, he's going to need to stitch this up." I said, trying to hide the panic in my tone.

But she caught it even though it was disguised, quickly nodding her head as she left right along with Lori to try and find Hershel as fast as possible. Beth looked up at me and opened her mouth to speak, but only a sob came out as she ducked her head, causing me to immediately shush her and bring her into a hug.

We all had different experiences with mental health, everything was dealt with differently, but I somewhat knew how she was feeling. I had been in her position not that long ago and seeing her standing there when I first opened the door, brought all the memories back, so fast it was like a tidal wave. The whole situation nearly knocked me off my goddamn feet.

After standing in place for a while as she sobbed into my arms, I slowly started to bring her back into her attached bedroom, sitting her down on the bed so she could try to relax and focus on her breathing as she put more pressure on the wound.

Hershel frantically came in soon after that with a needle and thread and started to stitch his daughter up as she cried. I stayed by her side the whole time, holding her hand to offer her some type of comfort I was able to give. Though it was heartbreaking hearing her cry, and even more heartbreaking seeing Hershel try to pull himself together as he worked. I tried to think over the right things to say to her when the time came, but I felt that there was no right thing to say. What could you say after something like this?

After Hershel was done he said he would talk to her later and soon left the room in a hurry to no doubt let a few tears fall, leaving Beth and I alone again. She slowly laid down on the mattress after he left, her cheeks still stained with tears as she tried to calm herself down, with me rubbing her back towards the end of the bed. The silence slowly becoming deafening.

"Are you mad at me too?" she suddenly asked. I could feel the pain in her voice.

I whipped my head to look at her, "Oh my God honey no, I'm not mad at all. And neither is Maggie or your dad, they just love you so much. Seeing you like this... it hurts them, you know?"

She sighed as she shook her head, "I just feel so alone in this, like they don't even understand. Nobody does." she muttered.

"You're not alone." I said with a shake of my head, "I can promise you that."

"How do you know?" she was quick to ask.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought back to my own experiences, so different, yet so similar to hers. I debated in my head for a long time in the dead silence, letting the seconds turn into minutes if I really wanted to do this. I had never dared to show anyone the things I kept only to myself, ashamed of what others might think if they caught a glimpse of them. It made me feel vulnerable, weak, and that was something that I hated, but I needed to show her that someone here understood what she was going through.

So with a heavy breath, I hesitantly lifted my shirt sleeves to reveal my deeper scars on my wrists, trying to ignore the twist in my stomach as the cold air hit my arms. Her eyes followed my movements, immediately seeing them and I watched her eyes get wider with each passing second.

"I know." I assured after the agonizing silence.

She shook her head in disbelief, "You-"

"Yeah." I interrupted her, almost like I didn't want to hear her say it.

"It was uh... at a really hard time in my life. I won't bore you with the details but someone in my life was making me feel worthless. He told me that so much I started to believe it myself, and I got really depressed. Eventually I thought that... doing this was my only option so I... tried. But I regretted it as soon as I saw the blood, kind of like you did. So I called for help and I... saved my own life that night."

She stared at me so intently, listening carefully to every word that came out of my mouth. I knew I could trust her to not say anything to anyone, just as she knew I wouldn't judge her for trying to do what she did. It was like a silent agreement that we had at that moment.

"Look, my point is I don't know exactly how you feel and I never will. But we were in the same boat you and me, we're fighters and I know you'll make it through this. You just proved that today when you stopped yourself." I said.

Her eyes refilled with tears as she looked at me with utter sadness, "I didn't realize...I'm so sorry Rose."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, not wanting her to see me cry as I smiled sadly, "I'm sorry too." I whispered before bringing her into a hug.

She clung onto me tightly as the new fresh tears fell down her face, sobs erupting from her lungs. All the emotions mixed with the exhaustion was truly taking a toll on her body, but I was prepared to hold her for as long as she needed. Just like I wished someone had held me.

Once her cries quieted down after a few minutes, I spoke quietly to her, "I am always going to be here for you, okay? You're never alone in this. Never." I assured as I held her tighter.

"Okay." she whispered, hiccups building in the back of her throat.

Although I couldn't see her face as she spoke, I knew now that she believed me, and knew that I wasn't going anywhere. Hell, I would be at her beck and call always if that meant saving her life. I somehow knew then that everything would be okay, maybe not at first but it would be. Beth was strong and I could see that so clearly, even if she couldn't see it yet herself, she was going to be okay.

After I knew for sure she was okay for the night, her assuring me multiple times, I said my goodbyes and walked out to send Hershel back in the room to talk to her. Nothing could've probably prepared him for the things that man had to do today, but I just couldn't get over the look on his face. It was like he had seen a ghost when he first burst into the room, and it was devastating.

After I walked out of her bedroom, I found him just sitting a few feet away outside, telling him he was good to head in, but before I could walk away he caught my arm to stop me.

"Thank you for...comforting her at a time like this. I just... I don't know what to say to her once I go in there. But just know I appreciate you Rose, thank you so much." he said with visible tears in his eyes.

I took his hand off my arm, squeezing it tightly, "Just be there for her, okay? Let her do the talking first. And it's no problem, I care about all of you so much."

He nodded and then suddenly did something I didn't expect, he hugged me. I sighed to myself before I was soon hugging him back for a few moments before letting him go after a few short seconds so he could talk to Beth. After watching him go, shutting the door behind him to leave only a crack, I made a beeline down the stairs and out of the house. I practically jogged all the way back to the tent, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as I desperately tried to keep myself together. But the moment I zipped up the entrance, finding myself completely alone, I let it all out.

Seeing Beth like that was too much for me, but I wouldn't dare let her know that. She needed me and I was going to be there for her, however it just brought back painful memories from my past that I so desperately tried to avoid. I just sat there and cried quietly as I hugged my arms around my middle from the slight chill in the night. Rethinking everything that had happened today, I couldn't help but wonder how it could've been different if I had just stayed inside that damn house. How I could've prevented something from happening if I had tracked down Maggie myself. Maybe things could've been different.

But suddenly the zipper of the tent was being opened quickly, and Daryl was making his way inside as he finally returned from his hunt. I quickly looked away from him while frantically wiping my eyes, knowing he hadn't heard me crying, not even noticing I was in here at all at first from how silent I had been.

"Oh, hey." he greeted once his eyes raised from his boots, "I was bout to look for-" he then stopped himself noticing immediately the state that I was in, "Rose? Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, coming to kneel in front of me.

I tried to pull myself together, "Nothing, I'm okay." I said as I looked to the side, basically anywhere but his face.

I couldn't look at him, I just knew I would break down if I did. I could already feel the new tears building up in my eyes as I felt him gently take my hand in his and rub the back of it lightly with his thumb.

"Talk to me." he said in a soft voice.

I didn't say anything. I didn't even know where to start, today had just been painfully long and all I wanted was to go to sleep so it would be finally over. It seemed like we couldn't catch a break. And as if it couldn't get any worse, I saw out of the corner of my eye Daryl's eyes were staring down at my wrist as he still held my hand in his. I froze with widened eyes and suddenly didn't know what to do, I couldn't move.

"Rose." he said softly while looking at the scar, moving to take my opposite hand to see the other. But I quickly pulled both hands away from his grasp so he couldn't get a better look.

"Damn it." I cursed silently as I pulled my sleeves back down harshly, wiping my eyes with them as I tried desperately not to look him in the eye. I didn't know what I wanted, for him to leave or stay, when all I could feel now was just utter embarrassment.

He made no sudden movements for what felt like years, until I felt his finger and thumb gripping my chin gently to lift my head to look at him. His thumb rubbed softly on my chin as I finally brought myself to look into his blue eyes.

"Talk to me." he repeated.

That's when the sudden floodgate broke loose, my tears only falling more freely than they did before. I couldn't stop them, there was just so many emotions I was feeling about everything, and I couldn't get all of it out before he came back, so now he was witnessing it firsthand. I felt mortified about crying so much lately, it seemed like all I was able to do, like it was all I was good for these days.

His hands then moved to my cheeks when it began to be too much, his thumbs gently wiping my fresh tears away. He leaned in close to place a soft kiss on my forehead, waiting patiently for me to start talking whenever I was ready. And I did.

I told him what happened with Beth and how she tried to end her life. I ranted about how I should've been there sooner and not just sitting in the tent all damn day, but I didn't know. I should've known, the feeling I had alone was a good enough reason to stay close, but I truly didn't know. Regrettably I also when on to explain my situation as well, seeing as I couldn't really avoid it because of what he barely saw through the darkness.

I told him almost every bit of the conversation I had with her, though it made me the most uncomfortable, I didn't want her to believe she was alone in this. Informing him also that seeing her like that brought back too many memories for me and that's why I had been crying in the first place...and then we sat there. There was just silence. He didn't try to talk one time. He just listened.

After seeing that I was done, not having anything else to say, he finally broke the silence, "Yer one of the greatest people to walk on this earth, ya know that?" he asked.

I was slightly taken aback at what he said, a scoff leaving my lips as I shook my head, "Believe me I'm far from that." I responded, no longer looking at him.

"Look at me." he said softly.

I slowly tore my eyes away from my hands and met his again, almost burning under his gaze. I almost couldn't believe how much I was cowering away from someone I truly trusted, but then again this conversation was one that I didn't want to be having with anyone.

"What ya did for Beth, bein there for her, that's the best thing you can do for her. And showin her she isn't alone through all this, it's amazin what ya did for her today...now about you..." he trailed off, looking back down at my hands sitting in my lap.

He then gently grabbed both of them and slowly rolled both of my sleeves all the way up to the middle of my arm. I tensed when he did this and he noticed, but yet he didn't stop. He raised my left wrist up to his lips, and began to leave soft kisses over every inch of the scar. Then moved to my right wrist and did the same exact thing, leaving goosebumps on my skin, but a warmth in my heart.

He held both of my hands tightly once he was done, looking back up at me as he spoke again, "Yer so strong, and ya never have to be ashamed of these. They're just marks on yer body to show that ya made it, even when things were really hard. I get yer ashamed of showin em, but you don't have to be. Not with me." he finished.

I stared at the man in front of me in awe. Nobody had ever spoken so beautifully about me like this before. Nobody had ever complimented the thing that I was the most insecure about. No one had ever kissed the places I had once hurt so badly. Nobody except him.

Tears built up back in my eyes, but this time for a completely different reason. I was quick to take my hands out of his, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to bring him into a hug as I felt I could finally breathe.

I heard what sounded like a sigh of relief come from him as he quickly wrapped his arms around me as well. Maybe he was worried about what he had said upset me, but it did quite the opposite. It made me relieved. Relieved that someone cared enough for me to not only see the good side of me but also the bad.

But with the way he spoke, and the way he was hugging me back so tightly, it almost made me question if he knew the feeling as well. The feeling of being ashamed or insecure because of something marking you from your past. And maybe he did. But I wasn't going to ask. I would wait until he felt comfortable enough to tell me, like he did for me just moments ago.

~ Thanks for reading!

[frost-queen]

Touch on touch (Reader x Cal Kestis)

Requested by: anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine

You frantically panicked feeling a hand on your back. It made you jump out of your skin, taking a leap forwards to get away. Turning around, you were panting. – “Hey it’s just me.” – Cal said holding both his hands up. You untensed knowing it was him. BD bleeped loud on his back. – “You are right.” – he told the droid. – “I’m sorry I should’ve given you a warning before touching.” – Cal told you.

You shakily shook your head. – “No… it’s fine… it’s just… something I need to get familiar with.” – you responded rubbing your hands nervously together. Cal nodded lowering his hands. He knew all too well of your journey. How touch starved you were after being in solitude for so long.

Dropped onto a forgotten planet because there was a war going on. Inquisitors raiding every planet. Your parents thought it was best to hide you on a planet not existing on the maps. Cal remembered it clear how you first shared your story after finding you.

He was on the planet to lay low from the empire for a while. What he didn’t expect was to find someone, a girl on this abandoned planet. He was for sure surprised. At first you were very wary. Keeping your distance. Only the droid was allowed to come close after a while. Cal respected your boundaries, trying to gain your trust from afar.

He kept a close eye, knowing BD was near you. It took him nearly a week to just get a few inches closer to you. By the end of the next week he achieved to sit by you. Then it took him a lot more trust and patience to be where he was now with you. Trusting him enough you shared your story. Of how your parents dropped you here with the promise to return and collect you.

You waited patiently for years. If it wasn’t for Cal dropping by, you’d still be waiting. Waiting for people that were never going to come. You did not know if they were killed or had simply forgotten about you. To be honest you couldn’t care. They abandoned you.

Cal looked briefly over his shoulder to BD. BD bleeped loud. – “May I approach?” – Cal said humorously. You laughed loud. – “Since you asked so nicely.” – you replied. Cal smirked approaching you calmly. He held his hand up, quirking his eyebrow up. You smiled slowly moving your hand up as well. Your palms touched making him smile wider. He moved his fingers down, holding your hand.

He gestured if he could come closer. Hesitant for a second, you yielded and nodded. Cal stepped closer to you. Tips of your shoes touching. He brought your entangled hand closer to his lips, leaving a sweet kiss there. It tickled making you wave your hand at the ticklish feeling. – “Now do it here.” – you said pointing at your arm. – “As my lady pleases.” – he said not minding at all. If it was up to him, he’d be kissing you non-stop all around.

He kissed your arm, giving you that same tickling sensation. – “Anywhere else Y/n?” – he asked raising his eyebrow flirty. You thought for a moment, tapping your neck gently. You didn’t have to say that twice. Cal placed his hand behind your neck, forcing you to lean your head back to give him more area to kiss. His lips kissed you so teasingly it almost made you weak on your knees.

He kissed you there trice as you chuckled enjoyable. He knew you liked it, you just needed to get more used to it. The beard that he had grown out, brushing against your smooth skin. You cleared your throat tapping your chin. Cal looked up, tilting your head more back by your chin. – “And here I thought you weren’t so keen on my touch.” – he chuckled out with a flicker of pining in his eyes.

“I have my moments.” – you answered, tapping your chin again. BD hopped off his back, letting you have some room. Cal slowly kissed your chin, his touch making you grasp onto him. Cal pulled your chin down, his lips coming in line with yours. – “My turn to choose.” – he breathed out, staring at your lips. – “Go on.” – you whispered.

Cal smirked, knowing there was something else he needed to do first. He moved his hands under your shirt against your back. Slowly letting his  hands rub your back. Your back arched as you groaned with delight. He knew it was your weak spot. So desperate for his touch all of the sudden you grabbed him, forcing your lips onto his. He kissed you like there was no one around. Well there was no one around…

When you returned to the Mantis, BD was joined by Cere. – “I was wondering what you were doing for the little one to seek out my company.” – Cere teased, giving him a head rub. – “Nothing like you think.” – Cal answered humorously. Cere hummed not believing much of it. You came sitting down. Cal coming to sit beside you.

He moved his hand between your back and the sofa, forcing you to lean a bit forwards. He let his hand slide under your shirt once more. Rubbing your back in a calming way. He felt how it untensed you. BD hopped onto the table in front of you. BD started bleeping loud moving around while giving sight to his words.

You laughed loud at what he was telling you. Cal smiled, looking over at you. Impulsively he gave your shoulder a kiss. – “I love you Y/n.” – he whispered, making Cere pretend she didn’t hear that. You turned to him. – “I love you too Cal Kestis.” – you responded.

--------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 ao3

Steve doesn’t exactly dispute Eddie’s words, but he does manage to smile and laugh again (“Oh, God, huh?”), a little dance out of sincerity that Eddie lets him get away with—because it’s late, and for a moment, Steve had pressed his forehead against Eddie’s before drawing back, and it felt something close to a thank you.

Steve leads the conversation into how hilarious Dustin had been, how he took the bait every single time Robin had tried to rile him up. Eddie follows easily, quips back with meandering movie commentary so that it doesn’t really matter if either of them loses the thread of it, doesn’t matter if their conversation dissolves into softly spoken, unfinished sentences and the occasional yawn…

He doesn’t know which one of them falls asleep first.

Just knows that at some point, he seems to wake at random.

The room is still dark, but they’d left a lamp on at the side of the couch, so Eddie blinks through the temptation to just shut his eyes again. Looks over to see Steve’s face twitching in sleep, mouthing something soundlessly.

His eyebrows are knitted in quiet distress: not a full blown nightmare, not yet, but it could turn into one.

“Not…” Steve says, and even as the weight of dreaming dulls his voice, Eddie can hear the determination in it.

“Hey,” Eddie murmurs.

Steve’s eyes are moving underneath his eyelids. “Not… Max. Not Max.”

It sounds like a promise. A litany.

“Hey,” Eddie repeats. He shuffles a little closer. Hopes that even in an awful memory, Steve can sense that he’s not alone. “Steve.”

Steve’s hand moves, and then he’s pinching the skin just before his thumb. Eddie knows that technique, has used it himself while getting tattoos done—pinching there to try and stop himself from feeling pain coming from anywhere else.

“Not…” Steve’s breathing catches. “You won’t… touch them.”

“You’re not there anymore,” Eddie says quickly. He strokes a finger along Steve’s knuckles, reassured when Steve’s hand starts to go lax—it doesn’t look like he’ll need to wake him up.

“it’s over, Steve, it’s all over. You’re safe, so’s Max. Everyone’s fine, okay?”

He has to say it a few times, but eventually Steve begins to settle.

His hair is falling into his eyes again. Eddie lightly moves the strands away without a thought—keeps his thumb there, smoothing across Steve’s brow until the frown lines gradually disappear.

And then Steve stirs at the touch. Sighs in his sleep. “Eddie.”

Eddie holds his breath. But Steve doesn’t wake up, just turns his cheek further into a cushion. His breathing is calm and deep.

God, you’re beautiful, Eddie thinks. The thought seems to rise from somewhere in his chest. He holds it close, aches with it.

He doesn’t want to let it go.

-

“You’ve got a call,” Steve says around a mouthful of cereal, when Eddie heads back downstairs after a shower.

“Ooh, I’ve got a call,” he says smirking, “you sound like a secretary.”

And that’s how he finds out that Steve had just left the phone dangling so that whoever’s on the other end can listen in on everything. Because when he picks it up with a, “Hello?”, he hears—

“Turn my back for one minute, and you’ve got a secretary,” Wayne says, amused. “Ain’t you going up in the world?”

“S’the company I’m keeping, Wayne.”

He catches Steve’s eye as he says it, laughs when Steve mouths, Don’t make me sound like a dick.

“That so?”

And while the smile in Wayne’s voice is still there, Eddie can also hear him trailing off in thought.

“Wayne?”

“We’ve got a new place.”

-

They’ve been given a condo—not too out of the way from Forest Hills so the surrounding area still feels reassuringly familiar. The size of the rooms doesn’t differ all that much, either: larger than the trailer’s rooms had been, sure, but not so big that it’s daunting, none of that eerie, echoey feel.

The layout of the kitchen and living room is different enough—the walls white, the fridge slightly to the left—so Eddie dares to think he might not keep seeing Chrissy out of the corner of his eye.

And his new bedroom has that freshly aired smell of a space that’s recently been painted; the blankness of it means that the memory of Steve sitting right on the carpet, eyes rolling back, is no longer quite as close.

But it also means…

“It doesn’t feel ours yet,” he says, turning back to look at Wayne leaning in the doorway.

Wayne hums thoughtfully, a sound that’s more an acknowledgement rather than a point blank agreement. He knocks on the doorframe, runs his hand down the wood.

“We’ll make it work.”

Wayne’s brought the electric guitar over, and seeing it propped against the wall helps reduce the blankness of the place a little—it’s then that Eddie realises he’d left the acoustic over at Steve’s, unplayed since the hospital.

But there are a couple of things he has remembered.

Wayne chuckles when Eddie brings out Robin’s mugs.

“What in God’s name are those?”

“Housewarming gift, Wayne, don’t be rude.”

Wayne nods at the neon polkadots. “Think I’ll need sunglasses to use that one.”

But his eyes soften when Eddie explains where the mugs came from, and he picks up the homemade ones, makes their first coffee in them.

Eddie smiles at Wayne clinking their mugs together. As toasts go, it’s more of an unusual one.

They don’t say anything; they don’t need to.

-

They go on a grocery store run, and the woman on the register only does a double take without uttering a word, which Eddie counts as a success.

After lunch, they watch T.V, old reruns of quiz shows where whenever Wayne cuts in with the right answer, Eddie accuses him of cheating: “You’ve seen this one before.”

It feels weird, to not have to intermittently hit the top of the T.V so the picture stays clear. Feels weird to be able to do this at all, almost like they’ve picked up from how Spring Break should’ve rightfully begun.

Almost.

Wayne gives Eddie a pointed look before he leaves for work, says that he can drop him off ‘somewhere.’ The offer would be easy to take, but Eddie shakes his head, insists that he’s fine. He’s honestly not completely sure why he does. Maybe he’s trying to prove something to himself. He lasts just over an hour after Wayne leaves, and then the silence starts to get to him. There’s a wall mounted phone in the kitchen. He picks it up and dials before his brain can play any sort of flashback on repeat.

“Just thought I’d check the line’s working,” he says, and Steve’s answering laugh seems to banish some of the shadows he’s watching creep up the wall.

“Yeah. Well, it works,” Steve says. “Hey, it’s, um… it’s quiet without you.”

It’s not true; Eddie can hear a definite ruckus going on in the background, what sounds like Dustin and Erica ragging on each other. But he thinks he already knows that’s not what Steve means.

That what he’s really saying is Come back.

-

“New place is good,” Eddie says evasively, as Robin takes competing takeout orders from Dustin and Erica. “And I, uh.” He gestures at the acoustic guitar in his arms. “Realised I forgot this, so.”

Steve smiles. When he speaks, his voice is low, like this is just for them. “You don’t need to do that.”

“Do what?”

A shrug. “You know. Come up with, like… an excuse or something. ‘Cause I…” He looks right into Eddie’s eyes, honesty shining through. “I like having you here.”

Eddie is saved from answering when he strums the guitar strings almost without thinking, winces at the sound.

“Sorry, baby. Been neglecting you.”

Erica snorts, comes to sit astride the top of the couch by Eddie’s shoulder. “Wow. Should we leave you two alone?” she says archly.

“Oh, gross,” Dustin says.

“Hey, pipe down,” Steve says. “Maybe I woke up ‘cause Eddie was so…” He tilts his head questioningly. “Flat?”

Mid-tuning, Eddie fights a smile. “I was sharp, but sure, I’ll take it. Whatever got us there, y’know?”

For a moment, Steve looks touched. “Yup. First thought I had was man, I’ve gotta tell him how incredibly bad he is at that.” But his tone is just on the cusp of being too soft to really pull off the insult.

“If out of tune stuff worked,” Erica says, “we would’ve just had Dustin sing at you.”

Robin’s hiccuping laughter drowns out Dustin’s protests. And then Eddie hears both Steve and Erica launch into…

“Okay, seriously.” Eddie grins. “What is it with that song?”

Dustin glowers. “If any of you say shit, you’re dead to me.”

Robin ruffles his hair. “Ooh, I’m scared.”

“Okay, relax, Henderson,” Steve says. “Talent or, uh, lack of aside, I don’t think singing your own favourite song would’ve—”

“NeverEnding Story is not my favourite song.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Dude. You don’t need to pretend to be cool, or—”

“It’s not!”

“It’s Take On Me,” Erica says.

Dustin points at her. “Thank you.”

Erica shrugs. “It’s probably mine, too.”

Eddie gives a final strum, satisfied with the results. “Why?”

“Yeah, why?” Steve echoes. He sounds genuinely curious.

Dustin’s expression so perfectly says You’re being stupid, you’re lucky I love you that Eddie has to cough a laugh into his sleeve.

“Steve. Hello? Last summer.”

“What?”

“When you tried to sing every high note. Tried.”

“Surprised all the neighbourhood dogs didn’t start chasing after your car,” Erica says.

“Oh.” Steve looks like he’s both moved and embarrassed at the same time.

Robin laughs. “Yeah, that’s right!” She looks at Eddie says, “It was, like, what, a few weeks? Yeah. A few weeks after Starcourt, um, was no more, and Steve, he just pulls up at my house, wearing sunglasses, and goes.” She mimes tilting said glasses down her nose. “He goes, ‘Hop in. We’re going on a wild ride.’ Which, like, turned it to be a ride to the nearest ice-cream parlour out of town with these two schmucks, so—”

“Hey, it was.” Steve clicks his fingers. “What’s it called? Exposure therapy.”

“Yeah, because it was the ice-cream that was traumatic,” Erica says.

“The hot fudge at that place was lukewarm,” Dustin points out. “That was pretty traumatic.”

Eddie plucks out a few notes to Take On Me, and Steve laughs, shakes his head.

“Nope, not singing.”

“Leaving the dogs in peace, Harrington?” Eddie asks.

Erica giggles, and Dustin and Robin both boisterously start impersonating Steve singing anyway—and Eddie thinks about how something as simple as all of this says so much.

-

Robin, Dustin and Erica don’t stay that long—Erica’s parents want her back before eight, and that prompts Robin to offer her a ride home, which Dustin accepts too, as he’s also staying over with Lucas.

Technically, Eddie could’ve gone with them, got a ride back to the condo. Hell, he could’ve ordered a cab with just the prospect of sitting in uncomfortable silence for ten minutes.

He doesn’t.

Because while Robin was corralling the kids into their jackets, Steve had tapped Eddie on the wrist, just once. Murmured casually, “Hey, you’re staying, right?”, like he was expecting it.

Still.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Eddie finds himself saying when they’re alone. “It’s just—”

“Shut up,” Steve says, so obviously fond that Eddie is immediately set at ease. “I meant what I said. Besides, I can be—like, if I really didn’t want you here, you’d know about it, trust me.”

Eddie smirks. “Yeah, forgot that you could be a passive-aggressive bitch when you wanted to be.”

“God, I wish that had been my title at school.”

“Oh, it was—in my head, at least. You got plenty, actually, there was a mental list.”

“Do I wanna know?”

“Well, since you’re asking…”

But Eddie drops the list barely halfway through. Clears his throat and says, “Hey. Thanks. It’s just… the new place, man, I’m fucking grateful to have it, don’t get me… It just.” He bites back a sigh. “Doesn’t feel like home right now.”

Steve nods. “You don’t need to… I get it, Eddie.”

And oh, Eddie thinks, you really do, don’t you?

[dazai-fan-page]

I wanna join in and send an ask— tell me about your thoughts on Dazai’s relationship with Ango and your takes on what Dazai currently thinks and feels about him. This question is worth 5 points.

for extra credit, elaborate on how his thoughts on Ango have or haven’t changed over the past 4 years (from when he was 18 until the current time where he’s 22)

(feel free to ignore if you don’t find Ango interesting or don’t have Thoughts about him, he consumes my mind sometimes and it’s hard to find Ango analysis posts)

Ango's tricky. I don't know much about him. Mostly bc I don't like him that much. But I want those 5 points and extra credit.

Gonna break it down by eras for convenience.

Port Mafia:

I think that Dazai thought Ango was interesting. Dazai seems to pick friends based on who interests him, he likes weird people. A mafioso who doesn't kill, the vessel of a "god", a germaphobe, an emo (Joking Dazai was not friends w/ Akutagawa and also I think he's more goth than emo)

Basically, I think Ango was weird enough to catch Dazai's attention. After that I really think the kid just wanted friends and that's how he saw Ango. As a friend. A very tentative one and definitely not something he'd voice but. I think he cared enough to not look at Ango's stories too closely until Dark Era.

Missing Years:

I think he blamed Ango. I think Dazai was blaming everyone possible for his best friend dying and I don't think he cared if they were actually at fault.

I'm not sure Dazai gave Ango any thought other than "you did this" for most of that time. I'm also pretty sure Dazai was. not stable at all for most of the two years he was in hiding. I would not be surprised if he was blackout drunk for most of it.

To be fair Asagiri could also tell me Dazai moved to France and became a famous tap dancer for those two years and I'd be like. "huh. ig he had to do something" so I wouldn't be surprised by whatever he was doing at the time.

Start of Current Arcs:

I think Dazai understands that Ango didn't mean for Oda to die, that he never planned for it. I think he still blames him for it though.

Similar to Mori I think he understands why it went down how it did and he's willing to work with them but I don't think he considers Ango anywhere near a friend anymore.

Newest Update (114.5):

Pretty sure he's letting Ango try and make it up to Dazai. In other words, Dazai has a new toy in the government to play with.

I'm not gonna say Dazai doesn't care about Ango because he very well might but I do think he's gonna use Ango for the next few arcs.