#/ suicidal ideation tw

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or dial 988 or (en Español)

The Trevor Project (LGBT crisis intervention) or dial 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline or dial 1-877-565-8860 (en Español)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

S.A.F.E. Alternatives for Stopping Self Abuse or 1–800-DONT-CUT (366–8288)

National Eating Disorders Association

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[compassionatereminders]

Yeah it sucks how some neurotypicals have watered down the term trigger, but the solution isn't to claim that only severely traumatized people have triggers. Most mental health issues can be triggered. If you have OCD and something makes your intrusive thoughts spike up, that was a trigger. If you are autistic and something makes your sensory issues flare up, that was a trigger. If you have depression and something makes you have suicidal thoughts, that was a trigger. If you have anxiety and something makes it worse, that was a trigger. It isn't just PTSD which can get triggered

[captain-hen]

♡ countdown to the madney wedding ♡ (2 days) ↳ 5.12: boston

[3idiotsandarainbow]

Day 19: To save yourself

From a fate worse than death

Killer killing the version of himself that almost reached a point of turning exactly like him before that version actually does >:)

-Anó

[green-alien-turdz]

Would you be willing to leave behind the consequences of your actions?

[wolfietheangel]

can you believe this is the same guy

[theatre-apocalypse]

Sharing my “Paul has MDD” propaganda.

[hellspawnmotel]

i LOVE ur analyses (ur noelle + ralsei ones completely changed the way i view those characters) and if u ever started a yt channel for video essays i would BE THERE. ur art has a comforting quality that can be twisted into something disturbing/raw that i rlly like and admire. i wanna know more of ur thoughts on chara. i think they killed themselves bc of their dread of humanity + they thought what they were feeling (anger/vengence) was inherent to being a human and not a monster. thoughts?

thank you, that's very kind of you!! I don't think what I have to say would be very well suited for video essays though haha, it's just my personal readings of the text and I really don't want people to look at it and assume that I'm completely right, or even that I think I'm completely right. there are tropes and themes that I get particularly caught up in and I have my very obvious biases, plus when it comes to deltarune the story isn't even done yet..... I would hate for somebody to get totally invested in my interpretation and then get mad or disappointed if something that happens further in negates it. (that and my video making/editing skills begin and end with cutting together amvs)

as for chara..... (warning this is about to get heavy, maybe don't read if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts of your own)

.....always a complex question, especially when it comes to their death. I never really want to say anything definitive about them, because well, we don't actually know, do we? but this in particular...... with suicidal thoughts and ideation, you're always looking for a way to justify it. I don't think there was one specific reason chara went down that path, because there never really is. it starts with one thought, and then all the reasons you could possibly come up with start to clump together and form an unbearable weight. I think it's significant that chara came up with "the plan" after (accidentally or not) poisoning asgore. maybe it started with the guilt of hurting somebody they loved, which grew into the guilt of 'I'm such a burden to these wonderful people, they would be better off without me' which grew into the guilt of being human at all. but they still wanted to be useful to their family, leave them with a gift.... if their death can both free monsterkind AND destroy humanity, then really it would be worse of them to NOT die. that idea would stick in their brain and become a comfort to them- it's okay, because before too long, everyone I love with be safe and happy and I'll be dead, and I won't have to feel so awful every day. this is the only way to make up for all the time they wasted on caring for me. but then, of course, everything goes so extremely wrong..... I can't imagine the anguish chara would've felt in death, for not only failing but dooming asriel alongside them. they weren't thinking about the pain it would inflict on their family even if the plan had worked, or ever stop to consider that one day they might be able to feel better, and now they'll never get a chance to see it.

I think that also nicely leads in the main routes in undertale's storyline. in one, chara is a passenger on frisk and the player's journey, and they watch frisk inconvenience everyone they meet over and over but ultimately make their lives better just by being a friend and believing in love, which mirrors chara's own life and what they failed to see in it. in the other, chara is guided into dealing with their pain in a different way, by destroying it. the world is cruel, and unfair, and it hurts the good people while the bad flourish- better to do away with it entirely. if there's no life, then there's no suffering. if chara is all that exists, they become the nexus of pain. if they have to become a demon anyway, they can learn to love it. it's all humans are good for anyway. maybe this is easier than trying to fight it ever was.

but like, it's not, obviously. being a good person is hard sometimes, and it's even harder to be good to yourself. in the end though, if you give into hate and destruction, you'll be left with nothing but emptiness. whether through harming others or harming yourself..... either way you've closed yourself off from the world and your ability to experience the beauty of life, in all its faults.

okay I think I should stop there before I get too preachy or existential LMAO I hope that answered your question though! talking about chara is a dang rabbit hole. like, you're a creepypasta-ass character from a video game, why you making me think this deep. maybe if you werent so tragic and interesting I'd get less distracted, jerk.

🌻

[sunlitlemonade]

so. uh. surprising thing about jason, who might be one of the most inconsistently written characters ever, is the fact that one trait about him has remained constant throughout different eras, reboots and even an elseworld. no, it's not his thighs tho that would be a very good guess.

it's his suicidal ideation. yeah.

[here's me screaming about the fact that he feels like a phantom that has outlived its purpose of haunting in detail if you're interested]

[findmeinthefallair]

*eats recycled cardboard* Won't be the last time they both experience suicidal ideation too T_T

[messiahzzz]

“if we were home”

first gale doesn’t dare to dream, to hope. but against his better judgment he nonetheless finds himself slipping into daydreams more and more frequently.

gale: i always imagined what it would be like when you finally got to meet her. this wasn't quite what i had pictured.

gale: i thought we'd be in waterdeep. you, curled up before a crackling hearth while i prepared us a ridiculously extravagant meal, served with a batch of my homemade hundur sauce.

he has led his imagination wander and thought about certain scenarios in specific detail. how it’d be like when you both return to waterdeep and he’ll get to show you around his hometown for the first time. leading you to his favorite spots in town and (fondly) recounting old memories, how meeting his mother and properly introducing you to tara would play out, down to the very first actual, proper date. daily domestic activities like cooking (letting you try his homemade hundur sauce), reading together, etc etc. at this point there was no actual conversation about your wishes yet and what you want to do after all of this… IF you even prevail. but with his potential death looming on the horizon he wonders how things could have been instead, if you met in another timeline.

gale: i fear mine is a dream for another life. but a fine one nonetheless.

even if he genuinely believes that he will not survive this whole ordeal himself, the idea alone of being able to show you his home, the center of his universe, in person (and knowing that you share his excitement) is still something that keeps him going.

player: it could still happen. so long as we find another way to beat the absolute.

gale: gods, i love your optimism. contagious in the most endearing way.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for systems who are struggling with suicidal ideation!

It is a very unfortunate truth that many systems are at risk of suicide and actively deal with suicidal ideation. Suicidal ideation poses a serious threat to many systems, and prevents lots of folks from leading happy, healthy lives. As a fellow struggling system, we are so sorry to say that we don’t have all the answers for you. We don’t know what specifically can help your system heal, give you hope, or find the strength to not only survive, but flourish and thrive. But we can encourage you to keep going, and reassure you that you’re not as alone as you may feel.

To those who have been suicidal for many years now…

We know firsthand how exhausting and soul-crushing this can be. We hope that you can find brief moments of reprieve, and find small things in your life that can bring a smile to your face. Changing your mindset is not easy, especially when it feels like the world is working against you. We hope that soon you can feel a cool summer breeze, listen to birdsong, witness a spectacular sunset, take a deep breath, and exist in the moment, as you are. You deserve to live. You deserve to, not only survive, but flourish and thrive as you are.

To those who are looking for a reason to stay alive…

Let this be it. Stay alive for your headmates, even if you struggle to get along. Stay alive for the sillies, to be cringe, to learn who you are and take steps towards living your life authentically. Stay alive for change, because what comes next in your life may not be better, but it will definitely be different. Stay alive for just one more day, then another, then another after that. Sometimes surviving from day-to-day can be a significant challenge, but we know that you are up to the task.

To those who have been keeping their suicidal ideation a secret…

Please, if there’s someone in your life who loves you, please reach out. Your loved ones want you around, they want you to be happy and healthy, and they may not even know you are struggling this much. If you genuinely can’t think of anyone who cares about you, guess what? We do. We care about you and more than anything we want you to live. Whether or not we share the plural community, no matter where your path takes you or where you end up, your existence means everything to us. Please keep going. Please don’t give up.

To those who feel worthless and hopeless all the time…

You don’t have to accomplish any great things in order for your life to have value. In fact, by simply surviving and trying to reclaim joy in your life, you are accomplishing a major feat of resistance, resilience, and renewal! Your life and the lives of your headmates have inherent worth just the way it is - you don’t have to change anything about yourselves in order to be valued, cherished, loved, and respected. And this means valuing, cherishing, loving, and respecting yourselves! We are so immensely proud of you for how far you’ve come, for not giving up, for taking things one day, one step, one moment at a time.

To those who feel trapped by their circumstances, by their history, by their own shortcomings…

There is nothing stagnant about life, and this includes your own! You won’t always feel trapped this way. One day you will be able to escape your abusive home life, your oppressive workplace, bullies, groomers, heartbreak, loneliness, isolation, or whatever has you pinned down. One day you will be able to start processing and healing from your trauma or your painful past. One day you will be able to recognize your shortcomings as strengths, as neutral, as a part of you, as something worth salvaging, embracing, or accepting. One day you will be able to spread your wings and fly again, and trust us, when that moment comes, it will feel amazing!

To any system who has ever felt suicidal anywhere, at any point in their lives…

The fact that you are still here is huge and is something worth celebrating! We truly admire your tenacity, your strength, your perseverance, your defiance, and your fight to go on, despite life’s challenges. We truly hope that life gets easier for you, and you are afforded a softness and gentleness that comes with rest, comfort, and joy. We wish for you unconditional love and self-acceptance. We wish for you hearty meals, laughter, intimacy, and a sense of pride and accomplishment in how far you’ve come. We wish for you the chance to slow down and catch your breath. We wish for you a moment to revel in the beauty of nature. We wish for you happiness, contentedness, and hope, always and forever.

Suicidal systems, we know that one post on Tumblr isn’t likely going to change your mindset or how bleak your future may look right now. If anything, please let this be a small reminder that you’re not alone. Let this be a reminder of your own brilliant heart and powerful spirit. Let this be a reminder that you have made it this far, and you do have what it takes to keep going. Let this be a reminder that there is good in the world, and good in you specifically.

We love you. We really do care about you with all of our heart. We know that things will get better for you in time, but until then, please keep fighting like hell. You’ve come so far, and even if you still have a long way to go, you can make it. We believe in you!

[voxmilia]

Pov you're on a vacation originally meant as an engagement celebration for your ex husband and his new fiance, with your daughter, your partner, your ex fling, your daughter's friends and their parents

And the first time you get a chance to talk to your daughter one on one, she confesses that she doesn't want to exist, when you yourself are someone who deeply struggles with self loathing as well

I'd also immediately chug a bottle of wine tbh

[lelianasbong]

Zevran: You once asked me why I wanted to leave the Crows. In truth, what I wanted was to die.

Sorry but that is one of the single most devastating lines in all of Dragon Age, jesus fUCK. Got the rug ripped out from under me on that one. It's been fifteen years and I'm still suffering psychic damage. Then his romance lines start hitting and it's game over lmao, heart shattered and pieced painstakingly back together.

Zevran: [The earring]'s meant a lot to me, but so have... so has what you've done. Please, take it.

Zevran: All I need to know is if there might be some future for us. Some possibility of... I do not know what. I still have the earring. I would like to give it to you as a token of affection. Will you take it?

Warden: That sounds like a proposal.

Zevran: Not unless you wish it.

HE SAYS SHIT LIKE,

"I would not gladly let you out of my sight, you know. I happen to like you too much to let you wander off without me."

"If this should be the last we speak, I want you to know... assassinating you was the luckiest thing that could've happened to me."

"In truth, for the chance to be by your side I would storm the Dark City itself. Never doubt it."

Zevran: This is why I adore you so.

Warden: Will you still say that when we reach the Archdemon?

Zevran: I would say it at the gates of the Dark City itself.

i'm........ his romance is so gud...

[virsancte]

and they tell me that you're lonely, it's no surprise when you walk around all day wearing those lonely, lonely, lonely eyes

[captain-hen]

but i always knew, that in the end, no one was coming to save me so i just prayed, and i keep praying, and praying and praying

maddie buckley + ‘sun-bleached flies’ by ethel cain

@lgbtqcreators creator challenge — typography