#+ i thought i had made another friend earlier this year but they slowly stopped talking with me which is /: but oh well

[barkingangelbaby]

sometimes i feel friendless and unloved, then i have a discord night with l + b and i remember what it's like hanging with besties lol

[itneverendshere]

wait , pouge! reader not coming to work after a huge storm and rafes worried he hasn’t seen her or heard from her in a while, so he goes to checks and o maybe she’s been trying to fix something that happened? like a fallen tree in her driveway, or no electrician has come to help her turn the lights on

scared of nothin' & i'm scared to death - r.c

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!universe) word count: 2.9k

Rafe Cameron rarely felt scared. 

He hardly knew what that meant. He knew anger, violence and gut-wrenching pain, but never fear.

Storms were common in the Outer Banks. He never gave them a second thought; his house was more than equipped to handle them.

But last night, as he stared out at the growing storm from his mansion's balcony, something in his chest tightened. He couldn’t stop imagining the image of you—you, living in a run-down house on the edge of The Cut. The wind picked up, howling through the trees as the sky turned darker by the minute. His knuckles went white against the balcony rail.

He was scared.

Somehow, the pretty bartender from the country club had nailed the final nail in the coffin. He was smitten, there was no way back. He'd been a goner since the first day he drove you home.

So, when you didn’t show up for your shift earlier this morning, he panicked. He hadn’t seen you or the beat-up car you’d recently started to drive to work. He hated that stupid car with all his power, but you’d looked at him so happily that he could hardly scold you for driving around a safety hazard on the nights he couldn’t get you home.

He had called you nine times already. Each time, it had gone straight to voicemail. His texts were left on read—or maybe not even read at all. He couldn’t tell. He knew the power was probably out in half of The Cut, and maybe that explained why you hadn't answered, but it didn’t ease the knot of panic growing in his gut.

The storm had been a beast—trees were down, power lines were tangled. There was no sign of you and that fear just wouldn’t leave him alone. 

By lunchtime, he was freaking the fuck out.

He knew you didn’t always have a reliable ride, especially with that piece of shit thing you called car, and he had promised himself that he would always be there to make sure you got home safely after your shifts, as often as he could. But now, with no word from you and no sign of you at work, he was convinced that something had gone wrong.

“Rafe, you alright, man?” Topper’s voice cut through his thoughts as he sipped his beer at the Wreck. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He looked up, rubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah, just—uh, just worried about someone.”

Topper raised an eyebrow, “Anyone I know?”

“Mind your fucking business.”

"Alright, chill, man. Just asking."

Where the hell were you? His phone buzzed on the table, and he snatched it up, hoping it was you. It wasn’t. Just another useless notification that only made his frustration grow.

“Dude,” Topper started again, this time more carefully, “is it her? The girl from the club?”

Rafe stiffened. He hadn’t told anyone how deep this thing with you went. He wasn’t going to jinx the best thing that had happened to him in years. But he was on the verge of losing it. 

“Yeah,” he finally muttered, “It’s her.”

Topper nodded slowly, “You want to go look for her?”

Rafe hesitated. He hated the idea of any of his friends having the pleasure of meeting you, you were too good for any of them, himself included. But he was running out of options.

“Yeah,” he said it more firmly this time. “Let’s go.”

He stood up so fast his chair nearly fell over. He had to find you, and he had to find you now. Topper downed the last of his beer and followed him out of the Wreck without another word. 

The drive to your house felt longer than usual, even though he was speeding through the roads, having to swerve around fallen branches and debris scattered across the asphalt. The closer he got to your place the more scared he felt.

When he finally pulled up to your driveway, his heart dropped to his feet.

A massive tree had fallen across the entrance, blocking any vehicle from getting through. Your car was nowhere in sight, and the house looked scarily quiet.

“Shit,” Rafe muttered under his breath, slamming the car door behind him. Topper was right behind him as he made his way toward the house, climbing over the fallen tree with ease.

He knocked on your front door, first gently, then with increasing force. 

“Sweetheart? You in there?” he called, his voice louder than he intended. There was no answer. It wasn’t helping his nerves at all. He wasn’t about to wait around, though. He tried the door handle—it was locked.

“What if she’s not home?” 

“I’m getting in there one way or another,” Rafe snapped, his patience completely gone. He circled around the house, looking for another way in, when he noticed a side window cracked open. He didn’t think twice before pushing it up and hauling himself through it.

“Dude, seriously?” Topper groaned from outside, but he ignored him. He landed in what looked like your living room, immediately taking in the mess of scattered items, likely from the storm. He’d never been inside your house before. 

“Sweetheart?” He called again, moving through the house with long strides. He could feel the panic rising higher in his chest.

And then, he heard it—a faint noise coming from down the hallway. He followed it, his heart pounding in his ears. When he reached your bedroom, he found you sitting on the floor, trying to untangle wires from a flashlight, your phone dead beside you. The relief that took over his entire body was so overwhelming he nearly collapsed. 

“Rafe?” you looked up, confused, not expecting him to be there. Your face was smudged with dirt, and you looked exhausted.

“What the hell are you doing?” He dropped to his knees next to you, ignoring the way his voice sounded a little strained. He crouched closer, beside you, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

You let out a shaky laugh, “I—I’ve been trying to get the power back on. The storm knocked out everything, and the tree in the driveway…I didn’t know who to call, and then my phone died.”

Me, he wanted to scream. You should’ve called him. He wanted to be angry at you for not picking up, for not letting him know you were okay.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, his voice all rough around the edges. The thought of you here, alone was going to send him into a spiral, "You should've called me," he reached for the dead phone beside you. "You know you don’t have to deal with this shit alone."

"I tried, but then everything went out. I didn’t want to bother anyone. I figured I'd just wait it out."

Rafe shook his head, his hand still lingering on your cheek for a moment before he pulled it back, resisting the urge to drag you into his arms. Bother anyone? He wanted to laugh. Didn’t you fucking know by now? He would drop everything the second you needed him.

“Really, didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted, feeling a little silly now that he was here.

“Bother me?” He echoed in disbelief. “I’ve been worried sick.”

“I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just didn’t think—”

“That’s the problem,” he cut you off, “You never think about yourself. You’re always so damn worried about everyone else, but what about you?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Just—don’t do that again,” He nearly pleaded, pulling you into his arms. He held you tightly like he was afraid you’d disappear again if he let go, "You scared the hell out of me," he confessed, "I thought something happened to you."

You weren’t used to someone caring that much, and especially not someone like Rafe Cameron. 

You leaned into him, finally letting go of the tension that had been knotting in your stomach all day. “I won’t,” you promised, closing your eyes.

“I’m getting you out of here,” he murmured into your hair. “You’re staying with me until this place is fixed up. No arguments.”

You blinked up at him, not sure how to respond to that. He was a complicated guy—intense and often described as a little scary by most people—but in that moment, you could see the truth in his eyes. He wasn’t leaving.

You were too tired to argue, and honestly, the idea of not being alone sounded amazing, “Okay.”

Topper peeked his head in the room, awkwardly glancing between you two. 

"Everything cool in here?"

"Yeah, Top," Rafe said without looking back, his focus solely on you. "She's fine. We’re heading out.”

Topper nodded, “You want me to drive? There’s not much room up front with all the stuff you’ve got in there.”

Rafe’s eyes narrowed slightly “Nah, you’re sitting in the back. She’s riding up front with me.”

“In the back?”

You looked between the two men, amused by the way Topper seemed slightly offended yet intrigued. 

“It’s okay, I can sit—"

Rafe cut you off, shaking his head firmly. “No fucking way. You’re sitting up front with me. End of discussion.” 

There was a certain protectiveness in the way he spoke, like the idea of anyone else being close to you right now was simply unacceptable. Top, always sensing when to stay out of his way, just shrugged and backed out of the room, leaving the two of you alone again. 

He needed you close. Needed to make sure you were okay, even if you didn’t have a single scratch on your body. You felt a smile tug at your lips at Rafe’s insistence. He was so endearing to you. You knew he’d find you critically insane if you said it out loud. 

“Come on,” he stood up and offered his hand to help you off the floor. His touch was firm but gentle, his fingers lingering against yours for a second longer than necessary.

You glanced around your room, realizing how much of a mess it was—the scattered clothes, the tangled flashlight that was still not working, "I should probably clean up first," you muttered, feeling a little embarrassed by how little you had.

He shook his head immediately. “No, not now. You can come back later. M’ not leaving you here alone tonight, again.”

You wanted to protest, but something about the way he said it made you bite back your tongue. You quickly learned there was no point in fighting him when his mind was set like this.

"Okay," you agreed quietly.

His jaw unclenched slightly at your compliance, and he helped you gather a few things—a change of clothes, your phone charger, and anything else you might need for the night. Once you had everything packed, he led you back out through the house. The debris in the hallway didn’t seem as overwhelming with him by your side.

You climbed back out the same window he had crawled through earlier, and Topper was waiting by the car, kicking at a loose rock with his shoe to pass the time. Rafe guided you to the passenger side. He opened the door for you, his hand brushing your lower back as you slid into the seat. As soon as you were seated, he leaned over, his hand brushing against your shoulder as he grabbed the seatbelt. 

"Let me," he murmured, his breath brushing against your cheek as he clicked the seatbelt into place. His closeness made you hold your breath, but you managed to keep your composure, offering him a small nod of thanks.

He stayed in that position for a moment, his face inches from yours, searching your face for any sign of distress. You could see the gears turning in his brain. But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he gave the seatbelt a final tug to make sure it was secure, then slowly leaned back, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re okay.”

He said it quietly, more to himself than to you, before he climbed in behind the wheel, looking over at you, one more time, like he was making sure you were really there, really safe.

You offered him a crooked grin, trying to reassure him that you were okay, “I’m fine.”

Without thinking, you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips—a fleeting cute peck, just enough to show him your gratitude and affection. His lips were warm, slightly chapped from the day, but they felt perfect against yours. It was quick, but you knew you’d think about this moment for the rest of your life.

Rafe blinked, momentarily thrown off, but then his lips gave in to a small, genuine smile—a rare sight for him. He liked it. He liked it more than he should. He liked everything about you since day one. It felt like you were put on this earth to be with him.

Topper, ever the babbler, leaned forward from the back seat, knocking on the headrest. “Hey, lovebirds, you planning on leaving, or should I get comfortable back here?”

“Shut the fuck up Topper,” Rafe muttered, cheeks red, his eyes not leaving yours. 

You giggled softly, the sound melting the last of the tension remaining in his body. His heart was still racing, but now for a different reason. He revved the engine, giving Topper a sideways glare before pulling out of your driveway. 

“Yeah, shut up Topper,” You snorted, finding their friendship hilarious. 

Rafe couldn’t help but grin. The way you so easily fit into his world, bantering with his friends like you’d been doing it for years, only made him fall harder.

“Oh great,” Topper sighed, throwing his head back against his seat, “There’s two of you now.”

Rafe smirked, casting a glance in the rearview mirror at his friend, “Get used to it.”

The car sped through the dark, storm-damaged streets, he kept his eyes on the road, but his hand found its way to rest on the console between you, his fingers brushing against yours now and then, whether intentional or not.

You couldn't help but sneak a glance at him, your heart doing a little flip each time. You’d known Rafe for a while now. You knew he had your heart the first day you met him, but tonight? The way he rushed to you, the way he wouldn’t take no for an answer, it was like seeing a different side of him. A side you were starting to fall for, hard.

“Where are we going?” you asked breaking the silence, though you weren’t really concerned about the destination. Being with him was enough.

“My place.”

There was always a certainty in his tone, that easy confidence that made you feel secure, like as long as you were with him, everything would be okay.

From the back seat, Topper sighed dramatically, “Man, this is some romantic shit, but I’m starving. Can we hit a drive-thru or something?”

You and Rafe exchanged a glance, both of you stifling a laugh.

“You always thinking about food, Top?” Rafe grumbled, though there was a lightness in his voice now.

“I didn’t get to finish my damn burger because someone decided to bolt out of The Wreck in a panic,” Topper shot back, leaning forward to poke his head between the front seats.

Rafe rolled his eyes, but you could tell he appreciated the distraction. “Fine. We’ll stop somewhere, you’re buying.”

Topper groaned. “As if you don’t have enough money to feed half the island, but sure, man, I’ll buy your girl a meal.”

You felt a heat rise in your cheeks at the mention of being Rafe’s girl. 

He didn’t deny it.

[k1ng-ej]

Leon Kennedy comfort ♡

Note: hi, lets ignore that I disappeared for a year, lots happened. I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing and my latest obsession is Leon.

You had just ended things with your boyfriend in person, at his dorm. Needless to say, he had a bit of a meltdown, screaming at you and becoming violent. You left with a few bruises and went back to your dorm to calm down. You made sure the door was locked and blocked him on everything.

To say that man scared you would be an understatement. He was downright horrifying. You had a purple ring on your wrist from when he grabbed you, and another was forming on your neck. As the adrenaline wore off, you noticed your hands were shaking and tears forming in your eyes. Your heart was racing, and you slowly fell onto your knees. You had to act like you weren't scared when he was squeezing your wrist with a strength you thought would break it, and choking you until the edges of your vision started turning black. You were lucky he let go. You thought you were going to die in that room at the hands of someone who said they loved you.

You grasped your shirt, your breathing was becoming more difficult, and your vision was blurry from the tears. 

You heard the knob rattle, and your mind immediately thought it was your ex, returning to finish what he started earlier. The door opened, and Leon, your dorm mate, stepped inside. He stopped short, caught off guard by your appearance. You were basically just friends. You'd chat about what's for dinner and discuss classes, but that was about it. You didn't get to interact with him much since he worked right after finishing his classes. By the time he came back, you were asleep.

As he stood there and saw the tears streaming down your face, the noticeable bruising on your neck and wrist, and how panicked you seemed, he did the first thing that came to mind. 

He quickly closed the door behind him, setting down the items in his hands and kneeling in front of you, his hand reaching to wipe the tears from your cheek.

"Hey, you're okay. Breathe deeply for a moment." He spoke softly, his other hand rubbing up and down your arm. His touch was warm and comforting, and the way he spoke to you gave you goosebumps. The way he looked at you with those blue eyes, with a gentleness you hadn't seen from your ex, made your heart flutter.

You managed to nod and took a few slow, deep breaths. Leon kept wiping your tears with his thumb. His touch was so gentle and warm that you couldn't help but lean into it. You managed to calm the panic attack that came on, but you were still on the verge of tears.

"Let's get you on the bed." Leon helped you up by taking hold of your arms gently and guiding you over to your bed.

He sits next to you, putting his arm around your shoulder. Leon didn't want to pry, not wanting to make you remember and cry again, so he sat silently, his finger absentmindedly rubbing circles on your upper arm. He was unaware that his actions were providing you with assistance. His touch was light and soothing, and you found yourself longing for more of it.

You sniffled, wiping your eyes, and turned your head to Leon.

"Thanks for helping me calm down. I'm sorry you had to see me like that." You spoke, your voice sounding a little nasal.

"Don't worry, it's okay. I'm here for you." He gave you a reassuring squeeze, pulling you closer. You could smell his cologne, which had a hint of vanilla and something stronger, crispier, in it. You'd never been this close to Leon before, so you started to notice the little things you hadn't before. The way his muscles felt against your back, his smell, the little freckles on his face, how soft his hair looked up close—you wanted to run your fingers through it. You had to push those thoughts out of your mind. You'd just gotten out of a toxic relationship, so you couldn't be throwing yourself at someone new. You and Leon were just friends, roommates.

He noticed you were looking at him and started taking in your features as well. Your eyes were a bit puffy and red from crying, and the bruise on your neck was more noticeable than before. It bothered him that someone would do such a thing to a person, but he couldn't do anything about it. Before this, your eyes seemed empty, and you often looked like you were at the end of your rope. But now, as you sat next to him, looking into his eyes, he noticed a sparkle that he hadn't seen before. He wanted to pull your head into his chest and tell you everything would be okay, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

The two of you were engaged in a long staring contest, but it felt like only minutes. You went back and forth with yourself for a while, but finally mustered up the courage to rest your head on his shoulder. You stayed there for a moment, then you felt his hand cup the back of your head and pull your face into his chest. The scent of his cologne was more pronounced here, and you felt a bit warmer. His hand stroked your head gently, and he rested his chin on top of your head.

You closed your eyes and let your body relax. You put your arm around Leon's waist, returning the hug he'd given you. You weren't expecting such comfort from Leon, given how little you two had spoken and how distant you were. You found yourself silently thanking him in your head. Part of you was afraid that you were being an inconvenience to Leon, and that this night would make things awkward between you two, but you didn't realize that both of you needed this physical closeness. 

Leon often kept his distance from others, not because he wanted to, but because he was a little socially awkward and could never find time to interact with people even if he wanted to. You were the person he talked to the most, even if The conversations were short and about simple things.

"Thanks again. You really helped me out." You said, managing a small smile.

Leon returned the smile, and you felt heat rise to your face. You didn't often see him smile, but wow, he has such a beautiful smile.

[beastofbrden]

four times you and James were accidentally caught carrying pieces of each other + one time you did it on purpose| J.P

boyfriend!james potter x gryffindor!fem!reader

word count: 3.773 content: fluff, "secret" relationship warnings: reader has hair long enough to wear ribbons, not proofread notes: i love love love 4+1 fics and this is my first attempt at writing one. p.s girls when james potter can't be their boyfriend😫 i listened to littlest things while writing this :)

1.

- Hi, Jamie - you went to give him a quick kiss hello when you met at the hallway. When you distanced yourself, he pouted.

- Another one - he begged. You did as told, but when you distanced yourself a second time, he sighed in exasperation - Come here, will ya?

He held your face with his strong hands as he kissed you for a long moment. Your heart went crazy on your chest with the familiar taste of his lips and the warmth of his palms. When the kiss ended, he pulled away slowly, but kept his hands on your face, delicately brushing a few rebel strands of hair away.

- I’ll take this as you’ve missed me? - you teased, your eyes glimmering in the way they only do when you’re around James.

- Are you teasing me, missy? - he faked an overdramatic expression of offense.- And me here, thinking that you’ve missed me too, after such a long time we’ve been apart!

- We’ve had one separate class, drama queen. - you rolled your eyes at him.

- Well for me, it was a lot. But if you don’t miss your boyfriend, that’s fine… - He faked a hiccup and cleaned an imaginary tear from his eye.

- I’ve seen you this morning - you lowered your voice into a knowing whisper - Remember?

He dropped the act at the mention of the earlier morning and smirked in that cheeky way that made your heart beat two times faster.

- How could I forget…- He reached to snake his arms around your waist.

- Shh! James, stop. I think I’ve heard someone - You stepped away from him. You had heard talking somewhere around the corner of the empty hallway you were both in. You and James kept a distance as a group of third years passed by. They giggled when they recognized James Potter, the Quidditch captain, and your boyfriend, being the tease he was, waved at them, making them almost faint.

- They would miss me if i was their boyfriend, y’know - He said, and just like you predicted, he was wearing that pompous smirk he had when these things happened.

- You’ve eaten a little clown for breakfast today? - You rolled your eyes at him.

- No need to get that jealous of your competition, Y/N. - You crossed your arms and frowned. He laughed, placing his arms around you. - Even though you don’t miss me, you’re my favorite girl. 

- Even though you’re a smug prick, I did miss you. A lot.

- A lot? But it was just one class… - He mocked your previous words in a high pitched tone.

- It was one class too many  - Your heart turned into mush as you looked into his eyes, not being able to keep yourself from kissing him again.

Just a month before, being with him like this was just a beautiful, distant daydream in your head. You both were pining and longing for each other, handling what you both thought was an unrequited love for your best friend. Now, you and James were into that honeymoon phase of the relationship where you just couldn’t keep your hands (or your mouths) off from each other. That was logistically complicated, since you had decided to go slow and keep things a bit more private. You were just discovering the sweetness of finally belonging to one another, and you had the opinion that the gossip that would obviously arise from your relationship would take away some of that joy. So, for now, you were happy keeping it just between you two and the Marauders.

- What class do we have now? 

- Hmmm...Charms? Yeah, I think so. I’ll meet you there, I gotta give McGonagall some papers. 

- Alrighty - you agreed, getting on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. - Don’t take too long.

- I think we both know I can’t stay away from you too long - he smiled.

James walked the hallways in that strut that he liked to deny having. Everyone was already inside the classrooms to resume the classes after lunch. He knocked on McGonagall’s door.

- Turn to page 278 to read about Vero Verto - James heard the professor’s voice getting closer to the door as she instructed the first year students she was teaching. - Silently.

- Good morning, Minnie. - He greeted McGonagall with a smile.

- Hm, good morning, Potter - He adored McGonagall, and he knew she liked him too, specially for bringing Gryffindor multiple Quidditch championships, but the professor was never one to smile loosely. However, the way she was scanning his face through her half moon glasses, her eyebrows furrowing even more than usual, made him uneasy.

- I just passed by to bring my homework, and… -

- What is that on your face, Potter? - She questioned abruptly. Her question caught the students’ attention, and all eyes turned to James. The room erupted with laughter. 

- Silence! - She commanded, her harsh tone making them quiet down, settling for muffled giggles and whispers.

- On my face? - James touched his cheek.

- Yes, Potter. There is a lipstick stain on your cheek.

He felt the blood draining from his face: Y/N’s lipstick must have stained his skin when she kissed him.

- Ah, that’s nothing, Minnie - he brushed his cheek aggressively. The rubbing must have only smeared the lipstick, because the class bursted into an even louder fit of giggles, this time followed by kissing sounds. - The girls these days, y'know…

The professor grabbed the papers he was carrying.

- Go clean yourself, Potter. - She eyed him suspiciously before closing the door with a bang.

2.

- I think she’ll eventually forgive you, Marls. There’s no way she would break up with you for such a silly thing.

- I don’t know, Y/N, she seemed really hurt this morning…

You gave Marlene a side hug, hoping to give her some solace. You had been comforting her since lunch, when she came to tell you about the fight she had had with Dorcas.

- Give her some time, yeah? I’m absolutely sure she’ll come around. I mean, she’s head over heels in love with you.

- You think so? - she looked up at you with hope in her red, puffy eyes

- I know so - You reassured her with a smile.

It was a windy afternoon, and a sudden intense breeze rushed through the castle’s yard, where you were walking with Marlene towards the Astronomy tower. Your scarf, loosely hanging around your neck, got carried by the wind.

- Ah, crap! - You started chasing it as it flew. Marlene started helping you, and after jogging a bit, she was able to fetch it.

- Here - she handed it to you. 

When you went to grab it, her eyes seemed to notice something in the end of the scarf. A sudden rush of panic flooded you as you noticed what it was: James’ initials.

You both had left his dorm in a hurry this morning (as usual), because he made you late (as usual). You two lost track of time, and before you noticed, there was only ten minutes left for you to get ready, get something for breakfast and get to Flitwick’s class. You had gathered your uniform where you had left it ready the night before, but you must’ve grabbed his scarf instead of yours, somehow.

- Is this…? - Marlene’s hand brushed the yellow embroidered J.F.P. At first, she looked confused, but when recognition downed on her, she squinted her eyes at you with a smirk - Is this James’?

Marlene had always teased you about James, making fun of how oblivious you were to his obvious crush on you. She was one of your best friends, and you could tell her the true reason why you were with James' scarf, and she would surely be over the moon for you. You were tired of hiding your relationship, but since you hadn’t talked to James, you'd have to lie, again.

Now, you couldn’t deny it was James’ scarf, because there weren’t many James Fleamont Potters around Hogwarts, so it would be, theoretically, only half a lie.

- Yeah - You tried to conceal the sudden high pitch of your voice, granted for when you lied  - It’s James’. He lent me his this morning, since, you know, it’s windy and I lost mine, uh… at the lake. It fell and I think the squid got it. You know how sneaky that little guy is, always fetching things. Anyways, thanks, Marls!

You laughed awkwardly and got the scarf away from her hands. As you tied it safely around your neck, you smelled a strong whiff of James’ scent. You didn’t know how you hadn’t noticed that you had gotten his scarf, maybe because you were already used to his scent, spending all the time wrapped around him. It would’ve been a plausible lie if you hadn’t gotten nervous and thrown all that squid nonsense in there. You felt like a kid getting caught eating ice cream before dinner. Your face burned when Marlene said in a casual tone, while clearly holding in a laugh:

- I could swear that I saw your scarf on your neck last night….

3. 

- Potter!

James lifted his head from his parchment as Frank Longbottom called out his name. You and him had been doing Potions homework in the common room, your legs resting on his lap under the table.

- I lost my prefect badge and I’m on patrol tonight. Can you lend me yours, just for tonight? 

- Yeah, sure! It’s in my dorm.

You lifted your legs to allow him to get up, and he winked at you as he and Frank headed upstairs

- The room’s a mess, thanks to Sirius, but I remember I put it somewhere around… here… - James started looking on his desk for the bronze badge. Sirius, being the hurricane he was, had thrown a bunch of his things over James’ desk, so it would take some digging. - Sit down, this might take awhile.

James dug through socks, blouses, but secretly thanked Sirius for the mess: that way, it was easier to discreetly push your things into a drawer so Frank wouldn’t see. A brownish glimmer caught James’ eye.

- Ah, found it! - James turned around holding the badge victoriously.

Frank was analyzing a plushie. Not just any plushie: the teddy bear you had given James the week before. ‘It looks just like you, Jamie” you had said, while giggling “It’s cuddly”. It was a brown bear holding a heart. You enchanted it so he would sing a sappy love song every time James squeezed its belly and even sprayed a bit of your perfume on it. James had absolutely loved the gift, just as he did everything else you gave him, so much that he kept it placed safely on his bed, where Frank had seen it. Then, for  James’ absolute panic, Frank pressed its belly., and the bear started belting:

And they called it puppy love, just because we're seventeen…

James snatched the bear away from Frank.

- Silencio! 

When he looked back at Frank, he raised an amused eyebrow.

- That’s… Sirius gave it to me - Why that was the first thing that came to James’ mind, he had no idea. But he would have to run with it.

- A plushie? - Frank chuckled.

- Yeah, you know the guy. Does anything for a laugh.

- Even enchanting it to sing?

- Er, he… - James searched his mind for something - He goes to great lengths. 

- I see, he sprayed perfume on it and all.

- Impressive lengths, really.

James gave Frank his best innocent smile. Truth was, he was tired of doing this, hiding things between you. He had been for weeks now, but he was afraid bringing it up would make you feel pressured. Frank was a really nice guy, and he was madly in love with his girlfriend, Alice, so he would surely be happy for you two, but since James hadn’t had the guts to discuss you two’s arrangement, he would need Frank to believe him, even if it was clear he was finding it all very amusing, and not buying any of it.

- I find this perfume a little familiar… Like I know someone who uses it… Probably Y/N - Frank put his finger on his chin, pretending to think while sniffing the air - But I think I’m mixing things up. Anyway, thanks for the badge, puppy love.

4. 

- It says we need to add… -  Mary leaned into her textbook to read the instructions while you laborly stirred your laughing potion  - billywig sting?

- Only sting? Are you sure? I remember it being billywig sting slime!

- I wrote down only “sting”, but I probably messed up. 

- If we add the right one, it’ll be the laughing potion. If we add the wrong one, it’ll end up a floating potion. I just can’t remember which is which!

- Maybe we should take a look at your book. Where is it?

- Yeah, sure. It’s in my bag - You cleaned a few drops of sweat from your forehead.

Mary leaned down to search for it.

- Got it!

She placed the book between you two and started browsing through, looking for the right page for the laughing potion while you attentively observed the suspicious blue tone of your potion. 

- “For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Y/N”. Signed, James.

You turned to Mary in sheer terror. 

If you had to determine James’ love languages, it would easily be physical touch and words of affirmation. But lately, he had taken a liking to gift giving. Between paper rings, notes, letters, origamis, even silly stick drawings he did of you two, you had quite an extensive collection sitting in a tea box on your bedside table. He couldn’t help it: the silly gifts kept you smiling the whole day through. For James, drawing stick figures or writing little poems was a very small price to pay for your smile, the one thing that lit his whole world up like sunlight. He gave you this specific one, with a customized version of a piece of ‘“Annabel Lee” yesterday, and you had forgotten to add it to your extensive collection after coming by your dorm.

You dropped the spoon you were stirring the potion with. There was no denying this. James was a clown, he always had been, but one thing he never joked around with was other people’s feelings. Everyone knew that. He wouldn’t have written you this if he didn’t mean it.

- Aww, that’s so sweet - Mary smiled at the paper.

- Mary… 

- Y/N, hey, relax, alright? - She stopped smiling when she saw your eyes widen. - We all know it.

They all know it?

- Everyone sees the way you look at each other. And the people talk. Particularly, I’ve only heard people saying that you two are adorable, and some other people saying that they envy you or they envy James. It’s fine, I promise. 

- But I… we tried…

- I know you tried. But listen: ever since I first met you, whenever you and James are in a room together, it’s like you’re the only two people in the world, and we are all watching. So when you started to sneak around, poorly, may I add, leaving the dorm late at night, going around with his clothes, happier than I’ve ever seen, it wasn’t hard to add things up. Also, you guys suck at keeping things secret.

You two shared a laugh. Your long forgotten laughing/floating potion bubbled in the wrongest shade of green.

- I know. But we really tried our best.

She gave you a soft smile.

- Y/N, when two people are this much in love, there’s no hiding it. 

+1

You were laying down at James’ bed. It was a warm, sunny sunday morning that basked the whole dorm room in golden. James was standing by his chest of drawers, shuffling through his clothes to find his uniform for the Quidditch match that would start after breakfast. You watched the muscles on his back, the curves of his shoulder, the nape of his neck, his rebel dark hair. All the freckles on his skin that marked your favorite places to kiss.

- I can feel you looking at me, y’know. And I’m shy. - He turned his face to look at you. The movement gave you a view of his dark eyes, his glasses, the curve of his lips as he grinned, his straight nose.

- It’s not my fault you are beautiful. - You sighed.

- I’m beautiful? - He opened a genuine smile, one that showed his dimples.

- Yes.

In two long strides, he reached the bed. He sat down by your side, and his eyes scanned you lovingly, making you blush under his gaze. 

- I’ll only take your word for it only cause you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.- he whispered before kissing the tip of your nose.

You two looked at each other a bit longer. The sunlight that creeped into the room made his eyes look like warm dripping honey. James was never one to be sheepish, but you could tell by the soft tint his cheeks that you looking at him like he hung the stars on the sky made him shy.

- C’mon, sleepy girl, or we’ll be late. And I can’t play without my lucky charm, yeah?

You didn’t move, and neither did him, despite his words. You leaned in, getting closer to him.

- I want to give you something, Jamie.

- Your heart? I’ll take it.

- You already have it. It’s something else. Close your eyes.

He did as told. He was so beautiful that it made you dizzy. His eyes, his mouth, his hands, his skin. Every part of him felt like home. Unable to help yourself, you kissed his lips chastely and he hummed with satisfaction.

- Is that it? - He peeked.

- No. Keep them closed.

You reached for his bedside table where you had placed the ribbon you always wore on your hair the night before. These ribbons were your trademark, and you wore them every single day. You cut up a piece with a scissor you had brought for this purpose.

You softly grabbed James’ warm hand. You placed the satiny strip around his wrist, and with a touch of your wand, turned it into a compact ribbon bracelet.

- Open.

He immediately looked down at his wrist, and his eyes instantly flooded with emotion.

- Wear it for the game, okay? For luck. And after that, too, if you’d like.

- Y/N… these are your ribbons. Everyone knows…

- I want them to know. You are the best thing that’s ever been mine, and the rest of the world should know.

James stayed silent, fiddling with his new bracelet. Panic started creeping into your chest: it hadn’t occurred to you that maybe James wasn’t ready, but it probably should. What if that was too much for him? What if…

- I get it if you’re not ready, by the way, I just… You know - You tried chuckling to lighten up the mood, but it came out humorless.

- What? No! Of course I want that!

- I don’t want you to feel pressured…

James touched your thighs, urging you to look up at him.

- Y/N, I’ve been meaning to talk about this with you for a while. I was just thinking that you are so… delicate. I’m much more… flashy.

You frowned your brows in confusion.

- What do you mean?

James opened a mischievous grin.

- It’s your turn to close your eyes.

Blindly, you listened closely to the creaking of the bed as James rose, his steps walking to the drawer, his muffled laugh. 

- You ready? Open.

The sight before your eyes made you wish you had a camera to keep this exact moment forever. James was standing there, with open arms, and a white t-shirt that read: I <3 MY GIRLFRIEND. 

- This is my way of going public. Ya like it?

You burst out laughing.

- You didn’t!

- You’re shocked now? Wait until you see… this.

When he turned around, you got a look at the back of the t-shirt, where there was a photo of you. Your hands flew to your mouth in blissful shock.

- James!

- So, did ya like it?

James had the biggest, brightest proud smile on his face. You jumped into his arms, still laughing.

- I… loved… it! - You kissed his face repeatedly between words. - I want a matching one, though.

- I’ll arrange it. Do you think McGonagall would let me use this as a game uniform? 

- Maybe, since she will be too shocked to even answer.

- I don’t think so, after she caught me with a kiss stain on my face.

- What? When? You didn’t tell me that!

- Oh, trust me, I will. But later, cause right now I have a shirt and a girlfriend to show off.

[pendarling]

Curly & Dark

Hero lightly brushed their fingers against the tight curls and looked at their reflection.

"Oh, didn't you know? Villain likes looser and longer hair so..."

They were in shambles, and they hated to admit it. They didn't like their enemy, no, only offended that anyone could assume that at all. Especially their friend; why did they say that? Nothing was wrong with their curls, at least nothing they could think of. Who cares if Villain likes lighter skin and eyes?

That had nothing to do with them, and who told their friend what Villain preferred? They could be lying. Villain always lied.

Not to them, of course, or at least Hero hoped so. Villain was very careful with their words when they whispered sweet poems in their ear when they got too close for comfort in their hand-to-hand combats. Villain's eyes didn't lie when they stared longingly back at Hero; their body gave away their feelings. Hero knew it all too well and was confident that Villain couldn't care less about their dumb curls or their skin.

It didn't matter. It shouldn't matter. It's a stupid claim, but it still hurts.

Hero's breathing quickened as they frowned deeply at themselves through the mirror with fingers caught up in the strands of hair and oh...

Hero thought, 'What a strange appearance. None of my peers look the way I do.' They huffed and walked slowly out of the bathroom, 'That should be a good thing. I stand out.'

It didn't feel good, however. Their head replayed the scene from earlier again.

Hero stood in front of their friend, and their friend smiled at them when they said it, trying to let them know kindly of the situation. They cared and didn't want Hero's heart to be broken when it would be revealed that Villain was just bullying them afterall.

"They have bad intentions; we all know Villain doesn't like curly hair, so it doesn't make sense... you're suit... yeah, that's probably why they said all that. If you wore something else, it would've been different."

Hero's suit now lay on their bed; they've worn it for years and never thought it played a part in their world. Was it too revealing? Inappropriate? Hero liked it; it was created to accommodate Hero's powers. They didn't think of it as anything else, but assuming it was attracting the wrong kind of attention, Hero was willing to wear something new.

They couldn't stop thinking all night after earlier. The next time they saw Villain, they should start ignoring them. Whatever Villain was up to was too cruel. If they hated someone that looked like them, then they should stop interacting completely.

At least that's what they told themselves to do, but still, Hero found themselves taking up another job that would require them to see Villain again.

They sat waiting on the ledge of their usual meeting spot on the roof of a building far from home. Any second now, they'd hear Villain's voice call their name with a ring in it that made their heart skip.

"There you are."

Hero sat up straighter and turned around. "Hi." Hero shyly spoke. It was less confident than they anticipated. Their hands immediately went to touch their hair again; the messy thing always got in the way, and they had taken the time to flat-iron it that morning before showing up. They couldn't remember the last time they straightened their hair; it's been a while, and they accidentally burned their ear with the hot rod in their haste to get it done as quickly as possible as if the curls were a disease.

"You look different," Villain noted, widely smiling as they set their gaze on them.

They swallowed their nervousness and stood up. "Uhm.. yeah, thought I could use a change."

"Looks good."

Hero wanted to ask if it was true. Still, something forced their tongue down even when silence fell into their conversation, where they'd usually idly chat for a good few more minutes before getting into their usual spar.

Villain's hand reached for their belt and pulled out the hilt of their sword. "May I have this dance?" They stepped closer and aimed at them, waiting for a response.

"Try to keep up this time." Hero's hand glowed a shallow colour, just enough to get them riled up.

They fought bravely as usual, each blow heavier than the last, quicker and matching Villain's attacks.

Their smile persisted throughout the entire duration. Hero dodged Villain's sword and slashed at the air with a sharp flick of their wrist. A thin line of energy burst from their hands, and the Villain deflected it with their sword.

Hero took another step back, catching the blade with their hand and twisting it away from their body, unaware that they'd run out of places to move as they felt their back pressed against a wall.

"So quick to lose," Villain smirked as they panted hard from their chest and out. Hero could feel their body buzzing with excitement; although some doubts still lingered, it was all irrelevant at this moment. "Or did you want me to corner you like this?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself." Hero breathed heavily, all too happy for their liking. They could feel the heat on their face, hotter than it was supposed to be after hardly fighting.

When Villain stepped closer, Hero felt their smile falter a bit. An unreasonable fear consumed their head as they repressed the feeling of touching their hair again. "Ever wonder," Villain began, "What it would be like outside the mask?" Their head tilted slightly with that same crooked smile they'd grown so used to.

"No..." Hero whispered, "There's nothing interesting."

Villain laughed lightly, "Not even yourself?" They leaned down closer, their fingers tapping at the hilt of their sword while Hero's sweating palms rubbed the rough brick behind them, memorizing every crevice.

"Not even myself." Their eyes flickered downward, then back up again, "And you?"

"I have lots to offer." They casually answered.

Hero rolled their eyes, "Sure you do."

They heard them huff and mock a shocked expression. "You're questioning me?" Villain placed a hand on their chest. "I have what you could only dream of-- what you couldn't comprehend."

"Like what?" Hero pressed.

The criminal shrugged and crossed their arms, "Nice try, but I'm selective about who I choose to tell."

'Selective.' Hero reiterated in their head and licked their lips; the feeling that tormented them the other night returned. Itching up their throat and successfully stopping Hero from pursuing the conversation any further.

"You're awfully quiet," Villain remarked and moved back from them slowly, their eyes analyzing the way Hero stood almost slumped up against the wall. "Usually, you're so much more hot-headed."

"You like hot-headed?" Hero quickly snapped. It came out more disgruntled than they wanted. Hero didn't know what overcame them; what was supposed to be a good sensation had burned into a simmering hatred for this strange relationship they had. Hero took a deep breath, their brows furrowed as they stared at their shoes and tried to stop themselves before it was too late.

"Relax." Villain's voice cut through their head. "I just wanted you to know that you're acting out of character."

Hero didn't even bother this time and felt their hands grasping at the air before they could understand. Each fist went flying at Villain, aiming to hit as hard as possible.

Villain played defence, avoiding each one of their punches with swift movements and slight turns. "What's the matter, Hero? I think you've gotten--"

"Shut up!" Their first, burning a bright array of white and yellow, shoved into the metal frame of a nearby door; the ground cracked beneath them upon impact, and Villain stumbled as they went behind Hero with that same obnoxious laughter.

Villain's brows raised, impressed as they whistled at the scene, "Careful, that could break your hand."

"I said stop talking to me!" Hero went to hit them again, throwing enough of their energy to tear Villain's sword away from their hands when they went to deflect again.

Hero never got Villain's weapon away from them before. It surprised them how much they could do, and the surprise made them nearly trip if Villain hadn't caught them just in time. Their powers faded slowly as Hero's emotions dropped back down again. Something about being held so closely has thrown them out of focus.

"I said be careful didn't I?" They softly uttered. Hero's heartbeat fell back into its strange rhythm as usual, a different kind of beat that played a romantic song in their head and repeated itself for weeks. It was then that they grew keenly aware where Villain's hand were placed, so neatly on each side of their waist and so gentle with them. Hero's eyes blinked with confusion until they buried their head into Villain's chest.

"Sorry." They muffled the apology, still holding tears back.

"It's okay." Villain's hands grasped at their suit, slightly tugging at its edges.

They shook their head, "No, it's not." Their lips trembled, and a few drops of tears escaped them as their mind muddled in the confusion of being torn between truth and agonizing desperation. They couldn't stop themselves from saying what they hoped they could hide, "Do you like curly?" Hero heard themselves whisper, wishing they had more control over what they said when Villain didn't respond right away.

Villain's fingers paused. "What? Your hair?"

Hero could only nod, too afraid that the next time they spoke, they would start sobbing uncontrollably.

"I like curly." They murmured. "I like curly... and I like dark." Villain moved one hand to their back, rotating up and down. "Is that what's bothering you?"

Hero sniffled, feeling silly more than ever. "It isn't just teasing then." They said, more to themselves than to their enemy. They smiled under them, their knuckles still stung from the last hit, but that was behind Hero now.

They briefly stood in silence until Villain questioned them again. "Who told you I didn't like it?"

Hero cleared their throat. "A friend."

"Friend?" They stretched the word, sounding more startled as Villain worked through a list of names they'd seen Hero with before. "Which one?"

"The one with blond hair." They answered slowly.

"Hero." They called.

They lifted their head, eyes still foggy. "Yeah?"

"Do me a favour," Villain's thumb came to wipe their tear, "and don't listen to them."

~~~

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[greenduvet]

flowers she gave him pt. 1

A/N: Hi loves!! So excited to finally share this story that has been brewing in my head for what feels like forever. I haven’t posted any of my writing publicly for years! So this is a big step for me, and I just couldn’t keep these thoughts to myself any longer. I want to say the biggest thank you to @luiscarrutherss and @galarian-weezing-on-prep for not only reading the early draft but making me feel excited to write and share my story. Also my girlfriend for helping me edit and watching succession. This will be a friends to lovers slow burn, so if that’s your jam like mine stick around! Anyways, enjoy mwah!

The floor was silent. Most people had gone home hours ago, the lights off in most offices. It was always so odd this time of night — looking out over all the different worlds happening just below, life continued on so vividly yet it felt so stiff and halted here.

It wasn’t the plan to have been here this late. Really he should have picked you up hours ago, the dinner reservation that had been made earlier this week now way past check in.

The reservation was Roman’s idea. Maybe a poor attempt at an apology, the only way a Roy knew how to apologize — dance around it yet never letting it fully resolve. You were used to it by now, a lifetime of Roman had made you well familiar. Yet this time felt different. Roman for once in his life was being distant, independent. He would blame it on work, family, stress, but you knew him better than that.

Tearing your eyes from the window, you look at your phone. Still nothing from Roman, not even a heads up that he would be an hour late to the aforementioned reservation. The thought of sending another ignored text filled you with a sense of irritation. Why wait here when you could see him face to face?

Without a second thought you haphazardly throw your things into your bag, muttering softly to yourself. The lights of your borderline clinical office flick off as you shut the door.

The way to Romans office was nearly tattooed in your brain from years of walking back and forth. Though your office was just down the hall, tonight it felt like a dreadful journey into unfamiliar territory. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go.

Turning the corner you could see him through the thick glass walls. He was staring at his computer, full attention to whatever was on the screen. You swear you had never seen him work so hard in his life… or at least pretend to work this hard. With a soft sigh, you walk into the office and stop in front of his desk, his eyes not once glancing from the screen.

“Late night?” The tone of your voice is dry, maybe a bit sarcastic. You weren’t used to this Roman, the detached, focused type. He had always been clingy, willing to throw his work down as soon as you had walked in.

Even standing directly in front of him, his eyes still never move from the screen. Moving his free hand from the desk to run through his already tousled hair, he hums softly, not bothering to give a full response.

Another sigh leaves your mouth and you turn to take a seat on the piece of foam covered in velvet they called a couch, there more for decor than actual comfort.

~~~

While your back is turned, Roman’s eyes glance quickly to you. The perfect image of a long day, he watched as you slowly dropped your bag without a thought. The whole day he had fought the urge to text you and watched the minutes tick past the planned reservation. He didn’t understand why he was doing this, pushing you away and trying to hurt you. Yet he felt like he was the only one hurting here.

As quick as his eyes lingered on you they were back on the screen, looking at the same report sheet he had been rereading for over an hour now. The sight of you settling on the couch out of the corner of his eye made his brows furrow softly. Why was he doing this again?

“Uh, ya know, Dad had me do some stuff.” He mumbles softly in response, his voice high in octave and almost tense. God, he didn’t even believe himself. He rips the hand in his hair down and begins to rapidly type something on the computer, trying his best to sell his stupid ‘busy’ act. You weren’t buying it, but it was unspoken that you and Roman never really did feelings — maybe that's why you were still so close.

~~~

Sighing, you pull your phone out and slip off the uncomfortable shoes you were wearing. It seems like Roman won’t be finished anytime soon, so neither will you.

The two of you work in a tense but comfortable silence, you clearing old emails and roman rapidly slamming keys. It was routine, though it didn’t keep you from noticing that what was once so familiar was now slowly changing. The silence still comfortable, yet more deafening than before.

“We had a reservation for tonight, did you forget?” Your voice breaks the silence, addressing the elephant in the room. Panning your view to roman, you can tell the question makes him squirm. The vein on his forehead bulged, his eyes widening ever so slightly at the screen.

You wait to hear some poor excuse, something around how it wasn’t his fault or to fuck off… but it never comes. Roman just continues to slam on the keys, the discomfort only growing on his face.

Sitting up, you nearly roll your eyes for what feels like the hundredth time of the night. You didn’t have time to waste sitting twiddling your thumbs to expect a coherent response from Roman when he obviously wasn't interested in giving you one. Slipping on your tight shoes, you grab your bag and rise wordlessly.

You look at Roman, hoping for something. For him to look at you, acknowledge that you were here for him. His eyes remained glued to the screen, though it seems like there is a deeply rooted panic there. 5...10…30 seconds go by and he does nothing.

The voice in your head repeating a mantra of fuck this over and over finally wins, and you turn to the door to leave. Though it hurt, you were tired of this back and forth. That, and your bed sounded much more appealing than the stone couch.

~~~

The second you leave Romans office, his eyes tear from the screen to your disappearing figure. The feeling of panic that had been bubbling in his chest all week started to explode into a deeper fear — you were walking away. He knew he deserved it, but still — what the fuck? Part of him thinks to leave you be and ignore your texts again, but his heart is screaming at him to follow you, chase after you and stop pushing you away like he had been for weeks.

He rises from his desk, leaving his computer unlocked and hastily makes it over to where you’d gone off to.

~~~

It feels like the elevator is taking forever on purpose. Maybe to taunt you for waiting for Roman, or maybe because deep down you had hoped he would come after you. Still, you waited for the doors to open so you could forget about today and the weird feeling in your chest at your best friend ignoring you. Why did it feel like you might actually lose him this time? Roman had seen you through your worst, and you’d seen him through his. But this dynamic was new, and didn’t feel like something you could recover from.

Finally, the high pitched ding breaks you from your thoughts, the doors sliding open to the luxury elevator awaiting you. Stepping in, you scan your badge and wait to be taken to ground level once again. Wine sounded good tonight, lots of it.

The doors begin to close, but before they can shut a hand is shoved between them, forcing them to open. Roman. He was there, face slightly flushed. It was funny, because Roman had never been the one to chase after you originally.

~~~

The sun felt hot – almost scorching. It was the end of June and finally it was starting to feel like summer in the hamptons. The backyard seemed to stretch on forever and was decked in long tables covered in lavish meals. This was a yearly event Logan held for his “partners” and their families — It was for the people who knew where the bodies were hidden. The whole ‘get away’ was to keep them close.

Though the event was mostly filled with adults, a few children were scattered around. A boy almost in his older teens, one a few years younger doing his best to fit in with the adults. An even younger boy with messy hair and big eyes, a young girl with fiery red hair, and lastly another girl who didn’t really fit in with the others. Yet that didn’t stop her from trying.

“Roman! Look at this – it's a worm!” You held out the stick with a worm dangling from it, the soft blue dress hanging on your tiny frame most definitely ruined. The wide grin on your face only grew as Romans eyes widened in disgust as he turned in the opposite direction. You would only start to chase after him again in response, as you had all afternoon.

This was a game between just you and Roman — you bugged, poked, nagged, and in response he would run away, gag, and ignore. For some reason your tiny brain just never got the memo that he couldn’t stand you. Things were easier back then. Innocent.

The sound of a loud bell stops you in your steps, Roman halting ahead of you. Dinner time. Placing the worm gently back to the ground you follow the children you came to know as the Roys.

The feeling of eyes on you from your parents and other bodies burnt like fire on your skin as you approached the dinner table. You hadn’t meant to dirty the dress, but running through the vast yard with the people you called “friends” had made you forget — forget that this was a performance, and that you needed to set a good example so that your family could stand out. Your mother would have words to say about this later.

Each child slid into their assigned seat at their own table away from the adult conversations happening at the other, longer table. You couldn’t help but feel a little relieved — you didn’t fully understand that whole world yet at the ripe age of 5, but you knew enough to be bored. Shiv felt the same way you did, her face more relaxed now than it had been at the sound of the ringing bell.

Roman’s seat was the one next to yours, and it was made obvious by the soft groan that left his mouth when he saw the tag of his name next to yours. Dramatically, he pulled his chair from the table, each action over dramatized and nearly throwing his body into the seat. Though the sour look didn't last long on his face as his eyes panned over to you and your dirty blue dress.

“Mommy and Daddy won’t be very happy with that, now will they?” The sour look fades from his face, a devilish grin replacing it. His tone is teasing and rude. It wasn’t anything new with Roman, though. The only attention he spared to give you was the more unpleasant kind. But it didn’t stop your obsession with trying to break him down and play with you.

You return his comment with a pout and look away from him, your hands finding themselves busy undoing the neatly folded table napkin at your place setting. Gently your fingers pull it apart, corner by corner. Finally you place it gently on your lap, your head high as you reply. “It was an accident. Maybe if you played nice, I wouldn't be messy.”

Roman was almost surprised with the response he was met with, a little smirk filled his lips. He couldn’t help but feel put in his place. He nodded to himself, taking the napkin and ripping the cloth out of its fold. Vastly different from the way you had done it with so much meaning. Maybe you weren’t as annoying as Roman thought.

The dinner was pretty tame. The children made soft conversation about various topics — the summer vacations they had planned, the extracurriculars, the movies they wanted to see. While the adults stuck to business conversation, how it always was and would be. It felt nice though, for once being around other children who somewhat understood your lifestyle. That, and it was a lot better than the company of your au pair.

After dinner, you find yourself with Shiv in the garden playing a game of fairies while running around the well maintained garden of roses. The sound of your feet against the gravel and shared giggles is all that can be heard — a pure moment of childhood innocence. Your dress slowly changed into one more brown than blue, Shiv’s own dress dirtying as well. It didn’t matter though, because for once you were just girls playing.

Logan’s booming voice rips you and Shiv from the moment. You can’t make out anything he is saying, but the both of you know it can't be good. You look to Shiv but her eyes are already on your face, wide and crystal blue. Then you hear it clear as day, the only word that mattered. Roman.

Looking around, you find a flower from one of the many bushes and pluck it gently, making sure to not damage any petals. You didn’t know Roman well yet but you knew well enough that this was normal. The sound of Logan's booming voice most times directed at him, as he seemed to always be the easiest target. Though, there was something about this time that felt worse than the others.

Without a second thought you run off, away from Shiv and the flower garden, carefully cradling the small white flower in your palm. The soft sound of sniffling guiding where to go, eventually leading you to the side of the oversized house.

There he was — sitting on the floor, knees to his chest, and a hand holding his cheek in pain. The spitting image of a kicked puppy.

This was worse than the other times.

Wordlessly you sit next to Roman, eyes not daring to look at him, but glued to the wall with ivy overgrowing. Before Roman can protest or run away, you bring the small white flower into view. A smile fills your lips before placing the flower onto his knee with all the care in the world.

That was the moment everything changed.

~~~

The elevator doors open fully and Roman steps into it with you. Your name falls from his lips as his hands comb through his hair for the umpteenth time that night. “Look– Fuck. Let’s just grab dinner, okay? There’s gotta be someplace still open and half edible around the block.”

You can tell he is trying his best to contain his expression and stay in control of the moment, but he's failing. Miserably.

His hazel eyes watery and nearly pleading, begging you to look at him and forgive him for being a total ass.

Looking him up and down, you hesitate. Maybe to make him sweat or to make him feel how you did all day, you weren’t sure.

“Wherever we go, I want hashbrowns.” You tear your eyes away from roman and click the button that would take you to the lobby. Immediately there is air in the elevator again, Roman’s pleading eyes vanishing. He always seemed to get his way with you.

[rylem33]

Going Red

I hope you enjoy this new story.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soraya twirled the small capsule between her fingers, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair hung loosely around her face, just like it always had. She sighed, her eyes tracing over her familiar features—soft, pretty, but nothing special. She had looked the same for years, stuck in a version of herself she wasn’t sure she liked anymore. The same clothes, the same hairstyle, the same routine.

She glanced at her phone lying on the dresser. Jessica was out again, probably with friends, living her life, while Soraya sat at home, scrolling through social media, watching others live the life she wished she had. Parties, dates, adventures—everything Soraya avoided, whether by choice or because it seemed easier to stay on the sidelines.

She rubbed her thumb over the capsule in her hand, staring at it with a mix of hope and doubt. The idea of red hair had always intrigued her. It was bold, daring, everything she wasn’t. But every time she thought about going to a salon, she chickened out. The idea of sitting in a chair, letting someone else change her appearance—actually change something—felt too big, too scary.

Then she had seen the Instagram post: “Transform in an instant! One pill for the perfect look—no salon needed!” The influencers made it look easy, flaunting their bright, colorful hair like it was just another filter. A quick fix. Something she could do in the privacy of her own room, without having to explain it to anyone. Without anyone watching her.

Taking a deep breath, she popped the pill into her mouth, washing it down with water. What’s the worst that could happen? she thought, trying to reassure herself. It’s just hair.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later, Soraya sat at her vanity.  Truthfully, she’s spent a lot of the last few hours just staring and waiting. This time though, she noticed something in the mirror. The blonde strands at her roots had shifted into a soft copper tone. Her heart skipped a beat. It was actually happening.

The red hue was subtle at first, but it deepened as she watched, flowing through her hair like it was always meant to be there. She ran her fingers through the strands, smiling as the color took hold—a gorgeous blend of auburn and copper, shimmering in the light. It was exactly what she wanted.

Just then, her bedroom door opened, and Jessica, her roommate, walked in, phone in hand. “Hey, I was thinking we could—” She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes widening as they locked onto Soraya’s hair. “Holy shit, when did you dye your hair?”

Soraya grinned, tossing her red locks over her shoulder. “I didn’t go to the salon. I took a pill.”

“A pill?” Jessica raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Like, one of those Instagram things? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I know. It sounds crazy, but look!” Soraya turned her head slightly, letting the light catch the fiery strands. “It worked. I love it!”

Jessica stepped closer, eyes narrowing as she examined the color. “Okay, I’ll admit, it does look amazing. But… are you sure it’s safe?”

“Come on, Jess. It’s just hair. What’s the worst that could happen?” Soraya said with a laugh, brushing off Jessica’s concern. She felt lighter already—more confident. The red suited her, brought out a side of her she had been eager to embrace.

Jessica nodded slowly. “Well, it does look good. Just… let me know if your head starts glowing or something.”

Soraya chuckled, waving her off. “Relax. I’m fine. It’s just the hair.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of hours later, Soraya found herself pacing her room, her thoughts lingering on her earlier conversation with Jessica. As she passed by the mirror, she caught another glimpse of herself—this time, something felt off. She stared at her reflection more closely.

Her hair was still the perfect shade of red, but… something about her body looked different. She frowned, adjusting her shirt. It clung to her frame a little more snugly than usual, especially around her waist and chest.

She shook it off, attributing it to the confidence boost from the hair color. I’m imagining things. It’s just the hair.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that evening, Jessica returned to their apartment, swinging the door open and casually tossing her bag onto the couch. As she walked toward Soraya’s room, she called out, “So, how’s life as a redhead?”

Jessica paused at the doorway when her eyes landed on Soraya. She was no longer lounging in her usual casual clothes. Instead, she was standing in front of her mirror, wearing a tight, strappy black outfit that clung to every curve of her now-altered body. Her chest was fuller, her waist cinched, and her hips flared in a way that was impossible to ignore. Soraya looked… stunning.

Jessica blinked, trying to process the sight in front of her. “Holy shit… that’s… different.” She struggled to find the right words.

Soraya ran her hands down her body, feeling the fabric hug her new curves. A part of her reveled in how good she looked, but another part—the real her—felt uneasy, like she wasn’t entirely herself. “Yeah… I know,” she said quietly.

Jessica stepped into the room, eyeing Soraya closely. “You’ve… changed a lot. It’s not just your hair, Soraya. Look at you. That pill didn’t just give you red hair, it’s…” Her voice trailed off, unsure how to continue without offending her.

“I know,” Soraya admitted, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She could see the changes—how her breasts were larger, her waist slimmer, her entire body more voluptuous. Her lips were fuller, her skin practically glowing. It wasn’t subtle anymore. “I just… I can’t stop it. It’s happening whether I like it or not.”

Jessica’s eyes widened, her concern deepening. “Have you checked online? Do you know what this thing is actually doing to you?”

Soraya’s temper flared, the intensity of her emotions hitting her like a wave. She turned sharply, her voice dripping with irritation. “I don’t need you to lecture me, Jess. I can handle this.” Her words were harsher than she intended, and a flicker of regret crossed her face. But the anger wouldn’t subside.

Jessica held her hands up defensively. “I’m not lecturing you! I’m just… I’m worried about you, okay?”

“I said I can handle it,” Soraya snapped, her eyes narrowing. She could feel her heartbeat quicken, the heat rising in her chest, the familiar wave of anger bubbling up again. Why am I so angry? she thought. 

Soraya quickly fled the room before things got worse.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soraya found herself pacing the room, her emotions raw but slowly cooling. She had stripped out of her tight outfit, now standing in just lingerie examining her new body.

I barely recognize myself, she thought, feeling a strange mix of awe and discomfort.

A soft knock on the door broke her thoughts, and Jessica stepped into the room cautiously. Soraya turned, meeting her gaze.

“Hey… you okay?” Jessica asked, her voice soft, hesitant. She approached Soraya carefully, as if she were still unsure what kind of mood her friend would be in.

Soraya nodded, her breathing steadying. “I’m… better. I’m sorry about earlier,” she said quietly. She ran a hand through her red hair, feeling the silky strands slip through her fingers. “I don’t know what’s happening to me, Jess.”

Jessica moved closer, her eyes scanning Soraya’s body, but her gaze lingered on her face, searching for some sign of the friend she knew. “I’m worried about you.”

Soraya shook her head, stepping closer to Jessica. “I can feel it… it’s like I’m different on the inside too.” Her voice was softer now, vulnerable.  As she gazed at Jessica, something shifted in her chest—something unfamiliar but undeniable.

Jessica placed a comforting hand on Soraya’s arm, her touch warm and steady. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I’m here for you,” she promised.

But the warmth from Jessica’s hand sparked something deeper in Soraya. Her breath hitched, and her eyes locked with Jessica’s. This time, it wasn’t anger that bubbled up—it was something far more primal. Desire.

“You’re my friend, right Jess…” Soraya’s voice dropped, husky with something new. “Is that all you want to be?” She could feel the shift in her body, the pull toward Jessica, and it was intoxicating. Her pulse quickened, her thoughts muddled by the heat coursing through her.

Jessica blinked, startled by the sudden change in Soraya’s tone. “What? Soraya, I—”

Before Jessica could finish, Soraya moved even closer, her lips curling into a teasing smirk. She brushed her fingers down Jessica’s arm, the touch lingering, electric. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me sometimes?” she whispered, her voice dripping with seduction. “The way you hover… like you’re waiting for something.”

Jessica’s eyes widened, her breath quickening, but she didn’t pull away. “Soraya, I—this isn’t…” She stammered, clearly thrown off by the shift in Soraya’s energy, but unable to deny the spark between them.

Soraya’s hand moved to Jessica’s cheek, her thumb brushing softly against her skin. “Maybe you’re more than just a friend,” she whispered, leaning in closer, her lips inches away from Jessica’s. 

Jessica hesitated, her eyes flicking down to Soraya’s lips before meeting her gaze again. “Soraya… I don’t think this is—”

But before Jessica could finish, Soraya’s lips were on hers—soft, hungry, full of the heat that had been building inside her. It wasn’t a slow kiss; it was fast, desperate.

Jessica gasped against her lips, her body stiffening for a moment before she melted into the kiss, her hands gripping Soraya’s waist. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soraya lay back on the bed, her red hair spilling around her shoulders.  Her reflection stared back at her from the mirror, and for the first time in a long time, she smiled—a genuine smile.

Jessica stood by the door, watching Soraya carefully, unsure of what to say. Last night had been… intense. They’d crossed a line, and it had been good. Really good. But Jessica wasn’t sure where they stood now. They had always been friends, and as far as she knew, Soraya had never shown interest in women before.

At least, not until now.

“Come here,” Soraya said, her voice softer now, with an edge of playfulness. She patted the bed beside her, her eyes meeting Jessica’s. “You don’t have to be scared,” Soraya said, her voice teasing.

Jessica let out a nervous laugh, looking at Soraya with a mix of amusement and curiosity. “Is that so?”

Soraya smiled, leaning in closer. “Oh yeah. You’ll see.” She didn’t wait this time. She kissed Jessica, but it wasn’t frantic or wild. It was slow, confident. Jessica kissed her back, her hands coming up to touch Soraya’s face, pulling her in closer.  Her body pressed against Jessica’s, warm and soft.

When they pulled apart, Soraya stayed close, her forehead resting against Jessica’s. Soraya whispered, her lips curving into a small smile, “I guess redheads have more fun.”

Jessica laughed, her hands still resting on Soraya’s waist. “I think you might be right,” she said, shaking her head with a grin.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Hey it me, the guy who asked for the S/O with a mask. You said to remind you about Yae Miko at a later time. Can you still do that along with Jean or no?

(Genshin Impact) Yae and Jean's S/O who wears a mask

I would've had this done WAY earlier tonight, but to be honest with you I got very distracted building a Gundam. AND SURPRISE DARK-KNIGHT!S/O BONUS FOR JEAN!

Yae had always been intrigued by the strange mask her S/O had always worn.

It was a nearly blank white mask, with two black slits acting as eyes, and a red swirl on the bottom right.

Despite how long she had known them for, they had never taken it off, even when it was just the two of them.

Admittedly, Yae pouted a little since she didn't get to see their face, and the expression she made nearly had S/O cave in to her demand.

But for one reason or another, they declined her request. But after they had become a couple, it was shortly after she got to see what their face was like, though not in the way she expected.

===

After the last of the spirits were dispatched, Yae took a deep breath as her tail and purple glowing eyes faded.

(Yae) "Hmph, how troublesome."

She turned to S/O, ready to make a casual remark before her thoughts were halted. They were on the ground with one knee, a stream of blood running down their previously pristine white mask.

Yae rushed to their side and had them sit down, putting two fingers on their neck to make sure they weren't losing their pulse.

S/O's hand gently stroked hers, putting Yae somewhat at ease.

(S/O) "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

(Yae) "I will believe that when we make sure."

Her hand reached to take off their mask before...hesitating.

S/O did not fail to notice, and nodded while looking at Yae, letting her know they had their permission.

Without wasting another second, Yae dropped the mask onto the grass slowly and examined their wound, while getting a good look at their now revealed face.

The worry in Yae's expression seemed to fade as it was replaced with a mix of amusement and annoyance.

(Yae) sigh "Here I thought the reveal of your face would be far more dramatic."

(S/O) "Was your imagination better?"

S/O asked, rolling their eyes but quickly maintained direct contact with Yae. She noticed that they were blushing a little as she stopped the worst of their bleeding.

(Yae) "Truthfully? A little. I imagined you with a great scar, or perhaps the face of a beast. Instead, you are quite normal."

(S/O) "Ouch, scathing."

Yae put the mask back into their and lifted them off the ground, making sure they were able to stand upright without her assistance. She gave them a heartfelt smile as her palm reached under their chin.

(Yae) "If you want my opinion, you should keep it off. It suits you better."

Jean was extremely suspicious about the reports of a masked individual roaming around the streets of Mondstadt.

You only wore a mask if you had something to hide.

Much to her surprise, the reason for their mask was nothing nefarious, just something personal the reason to be shared with lifetime friends.

Or lovers.

And over the course of a year, she became the latter.

She respected their privacy and never wanted to pry unless S/O wanted to bring it up themselves.

But she did always want to see their face, and she got her wish.

In a roundabout way.

===

Jean elegantly sheathed her rapier as it disappeared by her waist. She turned around to account for any injuries among the knights.

(Knight) "Ma'am! Some of the men are down, but nothing fatal. Just bruises."

(Jean) "Understood, get them medical attention and-"

(Knight 2) "A-Acting Grandmaster! S/O is heavily injured!"

She nearly chokes on the breath leaving her throat, immediately spinning around to find S/O's mask cracked with them bleeding.

Jean dropped down next to them at a speed that caught everyone off guard momentarily, before yelling for a medic.

(Jean) "S/O! Are you alright?!"

(S/O) "N-Nothing I won't recover from, but damn I'll have a headache later...!"

Jean's Vision glowed and a small gust of wind blew around them, seemingly patching up the worst of their injury as their breathing steadied.

Relaxing ever so slightly, Jean motioned for the medic to get ready to patch S/O up, before everyone realized that S/O would have to take off their mask in order to provide bandages.

S/O's mask slowly turned to Jean as an awkward silence passed, making the other Knights look at each other.

(Knight) ahem "...E-Excuse us, ma'am!"

She nodded to the knights in thanks as they saluted and respectfully gave them a moment alone.

Jean slowly reached for their mask and lifted it off, getting distracted by seeing their face for the first time. Her mouth was slightly open at the sight, taking it all in.

(S/O) "Heh, your lovely staring can't bandage the wound up, Jean."

(Jean) "O-Oh! I apologize-"

Jean began stuttering before their chuckle made her heart race for a different reason.

(S/O) "I'm teasing, it's alright. Sorry I couldn't show you my face without making you worry."

She gave a smile back as she deftly wrapped the bandage around their head before putting their mask back on.

(Jean) "I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to make up for that when we return home."

BONUS:

(Dark Knight!S/O Megapost for context)

Jean had seen S/O's face plenty of times, whether it was them walking by, or up close during an intimate moment.

But she was still unused to the sight of them wearing that helmet.

It had a blank shiny red visor that covered the entire face, enclosed with black steel.

And it unnerved her that S/O remained completely silent everytime they donned it.

She knew it was the person she loved underneath the outfit, but there was no visual indication telling her so.

===

Aether wiped the sweat from his brow and sheathed his sword as it vanished. He gave a thumbs up to the group behind him.

Jean, S/O, and Kaeya all sheathed their weapons as they all seemed to relax somewhat. Since they were still in the wilderness, they couldn't let down their guard completely.

Paimon appeared suddenly next to Aether and took a deep sigh of relief.

(Paimon) "Man, those Ruin Guards were tough!"

(Kaeya) "Hm, well it's nothing that we couldn't handle. Especially with those tools of yours, S/O. What don't you have on there?"

S/O looked at their now empty belt that was previously filled with small explosives. They simply shrugged, adjusting the polearm on their back.

(Kaeya) "But I must say, those bombs looked eerily like the ones Klee made. Are you having our Crimson Knight make you supplies?"

Now, S/O crossed their arms and their posture clearly gave off the impression that they were not nearly as amused as Kaeya.

Jean gave Kaeya an exasperated look, she wasn't in the mood either.

(Aether) "Okay okay, no need to interrogate them. It's not like they aren't trustworthy."

Kaeya chuckled and decided to let sleeping dogs lie, lest he incurred Jean's wrath.

Jean turned to S/O, seeing her own worried reflection on their visor. The helmet turned to her and still said nothing.

(Jean) "It is just us, S/O. There's no need to remain completely silent."

S/O's hand rubbed the back of their neck as the helmet shifted and looked off to Jean's right. She didn't even need to see their helmet off to know the bashful expression they had, making her smile.

(Jean) "Besides, you're not letting me see the face I love."

Jean teased, her hand gently squeezing S/O's making them pause. Finally relenting, they took off their helmet for a brief moment to give Jean a kiss on her forehead, making them both blush.

(S/O) "When this is over, I promise I'll let you see it every second we're together."

Both Jean and S/O quickly noticed that Aether, Paimon, and Kaeya were staring and quickly averted their gaze, pretending not to see anything.

S/O quickly put their helmet back on as she made her way over to the group, clearly annoyed. They were glad the visor blocked all of their facial expressions, since they were laughing at Jean lecturing them for not giving any privacy.

She quickly shot S/O a look as well, knowing what they were thinking.

(Jean) "And I'll be talking to you later. My anger is not something to laugh at."

Now, it was the other three's turn to give S/O the shit eating grin.

[writinginfinite]

we've been caught. you might as well post it.

Despite rumors among reporters, Lewis was a master of the art of concealment. It took nearly a year before you and Lewis confided in your closest friends that you two were in a relationship. Lewis yearned to show the world the woman he loved but respected your boundaries. You knew stepping into the spotlight would forever change your life and the lives of your loved ones. Protecting them was your priority. You were slowly coming around to the idea of a “soft launch” but didn’t tell Lewis because you knew he’d hop on the idea instantly. When you would feel comfortable enough to reveal yourselves remained unknown, as you cherished the balance between secrecy and love.

There was something about taking down your braids in the late-night hours that just felt right to you. Perhaps it was the hushed stillness of what surrounded you that finally allowed you to relax, even though doing your hair felt like a challenge. Or it was because you kept putting it off throughout the day and finally accepted you had to stop procrastinating. You mostly rationalized with yourself that it was the former. After laying out a few of the things you needed to take down your braid, you took a look at your surroundings, taking in it all. This bathroom wasn’t what you were used to at all. You gazed at your reflection in the grand mirror, lost in thoughts of the past month: 

Moving from your tiny apartment into Lewis' penthouse was a significant change, and despite his reassurances, it was challenging to fully embrace this place as your own. Figuring out where your things belonged and adjusting to Lewis' particular preferences was a daunting task. Lewis claimed to be okay with the changes. You understood the deep attachment he had to his home. There was a challenge now in finding a harmonious blend of your styles and creating a sanctuary that reflected your two’s shared love.

Lewis' groggy voice brought you back to reality. "Why are you still awake, love?" Lewis got home earlier in the morning after a long week. All you wanted to do was let him sleep. You tried to tiptoe around the house and quietly open and close cabinets, but now it seems like you weren’t as cautious as you thought. "I'm sorry for waking you. I was looking for more shampoo and conditioner," you apologized. You pointed towards the two bottles resting upside down on the countertop. You were trying to get as much product out as possible since you were running low.

"Oh, about that," Lewis apologetically admitted. "I used up most of it before I left. It completely slipped my mind that I needed to buy you more." For a split moment, you had a feeling of annoyance, but it was short-lived. You appreciated the little things about Lewis. His willingness to admit when he made mistakes or forgot something - a quality you weren’t used to in previous partners. Lewis sensed your frustration. "We could go get some right now," he suggested, but you quickly dismissed the idea. "Lewis, it's late, and there aren't many places open around here. Besides, you need to get some sleep. It’s the deliriousness talking," you reasoned, once again opening up the unfamiliar bathroom cabinets, as if bottles were magically going to appear.

Turning back around, you found yourself again alone in the bathroom. You made your way through the long hallways of the home, reaching your shared bedroom. You walked in to see Lewis wearing sweatpants, throwing a hoodie over his head. When Lewis noticed you were in the room, he tossed one of his sweatshirts in your direction, which you barely caught on time. "Where are you going?”

"We're going to Target," Lewis responded. "Apparently, there's one just a five-minute walk from here, and it closes in an hour and a half." His statement struck you, and a soft chuckle escaped your lips. Your boyfriend lived here for years and just discovered Target. You’ve visited that location a few times since moving in with him. This was just another reminder of the two different worlds you both lived in. Lewis thought he said something wrong, and questioned, "What's so funny?" You shook your head and replied, "Nothing, Lewis. Look, we can go in the morning, it's fine. You don't have to go through all this trouble."

"Nope," Lewis insisted with a mischievous smile. "We're going because I know how this will play out. You won't start your hair tomorrow morning, but you'll wait around all day. Then you'll end up letting the '30-minute' conditioner sit overnight, wasting another day. Tell me I'm wrong, sweetie?"

You rolled your eyes because you knew he was right. His persistence won. “Fine. Um, pass me a pair of sweatpants from my dresser and a hat,” you said while slipping Lewis’ sweatshirt over your head. This time, Lewis handed you your clothing. He placed a kiss on your forehead and remarked, “I know you better than yourself. I’ll be downstairs waiting. Also, the short braids look good on you.” After throwing on your sweatpants, you walked into the master bathroom and straight to the mirror. Lewis’ words about short braids rang in your head. Maybe I can throw some rubber bands on the end? I did cut the braids kind of straight, so I can get away for another week.

“Are you almost ready? We have like an hour before they close,” Lewis called out. You hadn’t realized how much time had passed but took it as a sign to not act on that idea.

//

"I can't believe we're going on a late-night Target run. We can just go back, it's not that big of a deal, Lewis," you attempted to persuade him, standing near the elevator. Lewis, rolling his eyes, responded, "You just don't want to take the elevator this late at night." He then grabbed your waist, pressing the button to bring the elevator up to your floor. He wasn't wrong, as he knew about your hatred for elevators. You would always opt for stairs, no matter how many flights there were. Muttering something under your breath, you clung onto Lewis, as the elevator doors closed. It was a sweet moment and you wanted to capture it. You took a photo of you two in the elevator mirror. The timing was perfect, just as the elevator stopped on the lobby floor. "Please send that to me," Lewis asked as soon as the doors opened. 

//

After finding the hair products and a few other unnecessary items, you and Lewis reached the self-checkout. You made him bag the items, and you casually asked, "When was the last time you went to Target?" Lewis shook his head, holding back a laugh. "What do you think?" he replied, aware of your teasing. Just as you were about to pay with cash, Lewis stopped you. "What are doing? Don’t even think about it," Lewis said as he pulled out a credit card. “No, don’t let me pay with cash. You know stores can pull the name on credit cards, right? I’m probably being paranoid, but let me this time.” Realizing your reasoning was valid, Lewis quickly put his card away. "I'm treating you to dinner tomorrow. Don't even argue," he said. You laughed as the receipt printed out. "Ready?" Lewis asked, grabbing the bags and taking your hand.

"I think that was Lewis Hamilton," a stranger's voice said as you and Lewis made your way toward the exits.

Worries filled your mind, and you wanted to look up to Lewis for help, but you refrained from it. You feared any reaction would confirm their suspicion. "Just keep walking," Lewis whispered, tightening his grip on your hand. Neither of you spoke on the walk back to your house. You were concerned about being found out and didn’t want Lewis to know, but you were sure he felt the same way. 

//

Silent in the elevator, you clung to Lewis, feeling his grip tighten ever so slightly. You glanced up and caught him gazing at the earlier photo. Breaking the silence, you acknowledged what had just happened. "We've been caught. You might as well post it." Lewis looked down at you, trying to read your face for any hesitation. "Wait, huh? Are you sure? It’s not delirious talk?" He questioned what you just told him. You shook your head, yes, trying not to laugh at his reaction. 

Lewis looked over the photo multiple times, ensuring that no trace of your face or any identifiable features were visible. He continued to respect your boundaries and wanted you to keep as much anonymity as possible. Lewis posed one final question, ensuring this is what you wanted. Without hesitation, you clicked the "Add to Story" button as your answer, just as the elevator doors opened. “I love you so much,” Lewis said as you two stepped off of the elevator. “I love you more than you'll ever understand, Lewis.”

author's notes: second one shot i've written. i took a small snippet i got from a request and made this. 1.4K words and it's not proofread.

(im working on imagine part x. sorry it taking forever. hopefully this kinda makes up for it)

previous one shot: what did i get myself into with you?

part two

[daisyblog]

Once In A Lifetime

My Drummer Masterlist Summary: YN is given a one time opportunity to join the Jonas Brothers on tour as their drummer, and Harry supports her.

Warning: emotional abuse (YN’s family are not kind to her).

With Harry being back on tour, YN really felt herself slip back into reality. The reality of still being in Holmes Chapel, watching her best friend become Harry Styles and not just her Harry. But watching him up on stage with the other boys, made her feel prouder than she had ever felt before. 

YN was on her way home from college, her earphones sat in her ears blaring ‘Dreams’ as her feet walked slowly towards her house. Fleetwood Mac was one of her and Harry’s favourite’s band, so listening to their songs brought her a sense of comfort and closeness, despite him being over the other side of the world. 

At the sight of YN’s family house, she stopped in her tracks from across the road. YN noticed both her parent’s cars in the driveway, meaning they were home earlier than usual. Interrupting her thoughts, the front door opened and out walked her older brother, their Mum following him. YN moved out of sight behind a parked large green van not wanting them to see her.  

“Bye Lucas, I love you my baby!”. YN rolled her eyes at her Mum’s voice from where she was ducking behind the van. “Please be careful!”.

“I will Mum, love you.”. Lucas could be heard shorting back before he got into his new car. 

“Oh Lucas?”. YN heard her Mum once again. “If you see your sister, tell her to get her arse home!”. YN couldn’t help but let out a pathetic laugh at how her Mum’s attitude completely changed when it came to her. 

“What‘s the witch done this time?”. YN’s fist clenched as the anger bubbled inside her. 

“Failing her classes again.”. She could only guess that her Mum stood there with a disappointed look with her hands on her hips. “She’ll never amount to anything that girl!”. 

Tears threatened to spill, but the last thing YN wanted to do was show them that they were hurting her. She was determined to prove them wrong. Sure she was failing but she was being forced to do a class she said she didn’t want to do. What did they expect?

Wanting to prolong her time before having to go back home, she turned to walk in the opposite direction, her feet picking up speed as she longed to get to her favourite place. Not giving it a second thought, YN opened the front door, warmth hitting her along with the smell of lasagna. 

“YN? Is that you my darling?”. Anne shouted as YN closed the front door behind her, taking her shoes off by the stairs and hanging her coat up. Her usual routine!

“Yeh, it’s just me Anne!”. YN answered as she walked further into the house. Noticing that Anne had added a few more photo of Harry and the other boys. 

“I’m cooking some dinner, do you want to stay and have dinner with us?”. Anne wildly smiled as YN sat at the kitchen table, joining her in the kitchen. 

“My favourite! Yes please!”. YN had been having Anne’s dinners since she could remember and they were always the best, made from scratch and just absolutely delicious. 

“It’ll be ready in about an hour my love.”. Anne looked up at the clock that hung on the wall as she closed the oven door. “How was college my darling?”. 

“Awful!”. YN played with her fingers as Anne sat opposite her at the table. “I’m failing another class now.”. 

Anne looked at the young girl in front of her. The one she had known since she was a little three year old with plaits in her hair, the one who followed Harry around the school yard and as they got older so Harry and YN’s friendship blossomed. They would spend majority of their teenage years at her house, either singing and playing the drums in the garage or watching episodes of Friends on repeat, tucked up under a blanket in the living room. 

Anne reached over the wooden table, to hold YN’s hand in hers. “It’s not that you’re failing sweetheart…you’re not doing something you enjoy.”.

“Try explaining that one to Julie and Steven.”. YN sounded defeated, like she was close to giving up. “Is it okay if I go in the garage for a bit?”. 

“Of course love…that’s what we bought them for.”. Anne smiled at YN, knowing the garage was somewhere where her and Harry spent a lot of time. 

YN closed the door that stood between the house and garage, not wanting to disturb Anne and Robin. YN looked at the black drum kit that sat in the middle of the room. Posters of all her and Harry’s favourite artists scattered over the walls. A photo of them both sat on the shelf, they both smiled wildly at the camera as Harry had his arm wrapped around her shoulder. 

As she sat on the stool behind the drums, the wooden sticks in her hands, YN felt like she had something to prove. She got up and positioned her phone so it could record her and moved Harry’s microphone to angle where should could sing as she played. 

The backing track began to play, YN began to tap the drums with her stick, completely getting lost in the moment already. 

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise

Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

And if you don't love me now 

You will never love me again

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain 

And if you don't love me now 

You will never love me again

I can still hear you saying 

You would never break the chain 

YN’s soft but strong voice belted out the song as her hands and arms moved to hit the drums with the beat. Finishing the song, YN watched the video back on her phone. For once, she was proud of herself. So taking the leap, she posted it onto her Instagram, captioning it ‘Drumming is my heartbeat.’ for all of her 238 followers. 

The rest of YN’s evening was spent eating dinner with Anne and Robin. They spoke about how well Gemma was doing at university, how One Direction was getting bigger and bigger by the day and how much they missed Harry. They even told YN how proud they were of her for pushing herself everyday to do what she was doing, even though she disliked it. 

YN pushed herself through the anxiety of going back to her house. She tip toed through the front door, hoping her parents wouldn’t realise she was home. As she put one foot on the stairs, her name was called. 

“Come in here now!”. Her Mum’s voice demanded from the living room. YN reluctantly walked into the room and stood close to the door. “Where have you been?”. 

“I’ve been over Anne and Robin’s, I had dinner with them.”. YN explained, as she lifted her bag up higher on her shoulder. 

“You spend way too much time over there!”. Her Dad made a comment, as he slouched in the armchair, not taking his away from the tv screen. 

“It’s probably one of the reasons she’s failing her classes Steven.”. Julie shook her head, her eyes piercing into YN’s. “Have you got anything to say for yourself?”. 

YN didn’t usually answer back, she just stood and took whatever was said about her. But tonight she changed. “I don’t want to be an accountant, I don’t want to follow in your footsteps, I’m not you or Dad…I want to just be me.”:

Steven rolled her eyes and Julie let out a sarcastic laugh. YN’s stopped dropped at their reactions. All she wanted was to be enough. 

“Where has that gotten you so far?.” Her Mum’s comment cut deep. “Hmm? You’re not going to get far YN, you’re just a girl who thinks she can play the drums all day every day…it’s pathetic!”. 

YN went to respond but her father interrupted. “I’ve had enough of your attitude and behaviour…just go to your room.”.

As YN got to her bedroom door, thinking she had escaped the toxic behaviour of her family for the day, Lucas appeared. 

“Oi! Delete that video…I’ve had people messaging me saying how good you are and it’s embarrassing!”. Her brother stuck his head out from his bedroom door. “It’s bad enough we’ve got to listen to your little boyfriend, and his silly band on the radio everyday without thinking you can sing too!”. 

YN slammed the door shut, locking it behind her. Her way of shutting out the world. It was nights like tonight that YN would escape over to Harry’s house, and he would reassure her that her family were to blame. But with Harry over the other side of the world, she felt lost. 

She got into bed that night and scrolled through her Twitter to see what Harry and the band had been up to from the fans. Lost in the moment of scrolling, her phone pinged and her favourite name appeared. 

Harry 💙: I miss you my little drummer! I saw your video, one of our favourites. You’re amazing! I miss our days of singing and drumming in the garage. The other boys are so impressed with you too. Keep banging those drums. Love you xx

---

It was a few weeks later and YN had continued to post video covers of herself singing and playing the drums. It felt like therapy to her, her escape from reality. The views and positive comments she was getting, really encouraged her. It boosted her confidence and made her feel worthy for once. Lucas still tried to knock her down, he even showed their parents saying that she was embarrassing them as a family. 

Harry continued to send her positive messages, encouraging her to keep doing it and saying how he looked forward to them every day. Even the Niall and Louis had messaged her on Twitter to say how good she was and how jealous they were of her drumming skills. Her and Niall had made a deal that if he taught her to play guitar, she would teach him to play the drums. 

YN had just left college for the day, like usually her earphones were placed into her ears as she walked. The sound of an email went off and a notification appeared on her screen. Opening it up, curious to see what it was, YN couldn’t believe what she was reading. 

Good Afternoon, YN

I hope this email finds you well. 

I’m Johnny Wright and I am a Talent Manager at Hollywood Records, and currently managing the Jonas Brother’s. They have a tour starting in October this year and we are recruiting a drummer. 

We have seen your talent via videos from your social media, and are interested in arranging a meeting with yourself to discuss you becoming apart of the tour. 

We can see that you are currently residing near Manchester in the UK. If you decide you would like to proceed with the meeting, I can arrange for us to meet in London. All accommodation, travel and expenses for yourself and one other person will be paid for. 

I hope to hear from you soon.

Best wishes

Johnny 

Talent Manager

YN stopped in her tracks, re-reading the email over and over. “This has to be a joke!”. She whispered to herself. She needed to tell Harry, but just as she was about the click on his contact to phone him, she stopped herself realising it was the middle of the night for him. 

She held a bit of hope that her parents would be thrilled and support her through this incredible opportunity. For the first time, YN ran home as fast as her legging covered legs would take her. She pushed through the front door with force. 

“Mum? Dad?”. She called through the quiet house. 

“Oh stop shouting YN, we’re only in here.”. Julie demanded, from where she stood in the plain beige kitchen. 

“Look at this!”: YN pushed her phone, displaying the email, into her Mum’s hands. “Isn’t this amazing?”. A proud grin shined brightly on her lips. 

Julie read through the email quickly, before handing the phone back to YN and continued to cook. YN looked at her Mum, waiting for her response, but nothing came. 

“Mum?”. She encouraged, praying this was the moment she needed to prove to her family that she was capable and that she could make them proud. 

“You’re not going.”. Julie said flatly as she stirred the food in the saucepan. “They’re trying to humiliate you, not to dishearten you but you can’t sing and you’re not that good on the drums either.”. 

“We’ll see about that!”. YN answered back, determined to prove her own mother wrong. 

YN made her way over to one place she knew she’d have the best reaction, Anne’s house. walking through the door, she could see a suitcase sitting in the hallway. She thought Gemma may have been home from university. But walking around the corner, for the second time that day she couldn’t believe her eyes. 

“Harry?”. YN ran straight into his arms, holding him tight. “Oh I’ve missed you!”: 

Harry’s arms held her tight, leaving no space between their bodies. “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”. 

“You didn’t tell me you were coming home.”. YN questioned him as they broke apart. 

Harry shrugged his shoulders as he looked between his Mum and YN. “Wanted to surprise two of my favourite women!”. He cheekily chuckled. 

“Well you’ve got good timing because I’ve got something to show you.”. 

YN showed Harry and Anne the email from Johnny. They were so incredibly proud and supportive of her. They encouraged her not to listen to her Mum and this was a one time opportunity and she needed to do it for herself. 

---

A week later, YN found herself in Harry and Louis’ flat in London, where she was staying for the weekend and for her meeting for the Jonas Brother’s tour. YN was nervous, excited too but scared that she was going to mess up. 

Before she headed off to where the meeting was being held, Harry and Louis both gave her a positive talk. 

“You’re going to do great and one thing you need to do is believe in yourself.”. Harry started the positivity talk. 

“Harold’s right YN…you’re incredible and you don’t give yourself enough credit…go in there and smash those drums.”. YN smiled at how lucky she was that Harry brought four amazing boys into her life. 

“I’ve always said you’re the only girl who I’d want to bang my drums.”. Harry sent YN a wink at his attempt to be a little cheeky. 

“Harry!”. YN playfully pushed his arm. 

YN was gone for around three hours and Harry and Louis couldn’t help but pace their flat. Trying to keep themselves distracted but it was no help because time only seemed to slow down. They were sat watching a football game on the tv when they heard a knock at their door. They both ran in a race to opened the door first, Harry winning and there waiting to be let in was YN.

“I’m going on tour!”. YN shouted excitedly to the both of them. Harry scooped her up into his arms and hugged her tight. He was proud beyond words. 

[kyokikikie]

Fangirl

-> Akaashi Keiji x Reader

in which Y/n's energetic senior introduced her to a pretty setter to be his friend. ( but she's secretly a fangirl of that setter?!)

masterlist!(⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

(a follow is very much appreciated 💙)

-> Akaashi Keiji wasn’t a sociable person. The only friends he had were his volleyball club members. Bokuto being the great friend he is, got worried for Keiji knowing that after he graduates, he would have no one to hang out with.

"I care about 'cha, Akaashi." The usually energetic ace rested his arms on the frame of the corridor window before turning back to his friend. "I mean it."

"Bokuto-san, I'll be fine. Besides, it's only one more year." Akaashi replied in his usual mundane tone.

Not wanting to give in, Bokuto swung his arm around his friend's shoulder. "Still, I don't feel easy..." The gray-haired senior thought for a moment then exclaimed, "One week! I'll find someone in one week! And if I don’t, I’ll take your word and accept the fact that you’re gonna be fine.”

So there he was, standing outside two classrooms away from his own. Akaashi sighed, “Bokuto-san, i hope you really didn’t gaslight anyone this time.”

“Hey! What kind of person do you think i am?!” Bokuto frowned, “plus, i really did find someone!” His gloomy expression turned cheerful in an instant. “Oh really?” Akaashi slurred his words sarcastically. It was hard to find someone who can actually handle Bokuto’s mood swings as good as him. “Stay here, Akaashi.” With that, the gray-haired senior entered the classroom with his usually greeting.

“HEY! HEY! HEY! Y/n-chan!” Were the only few words Akaashi could make it from their conversation. He leaned his back on the window glass and tilted his head up. Yet another exhausting sigh was let out from his lips. He had a perfect balance between schoolwork, training and sleep, so why does he feel so uncomfortable?

Just then, Akaashi heard a crowd of girls squealing. The setter had forced himself not to look towards their direction, knowing that it wasn’t his problem.

He lied

A brunette with two pigtails stepped forward from the crowd, the other girls cheering her on. She stopped in front of Akaashi, her eyes nervously shifted to the floor, “Akaashi, these are for you!” Her hands stretched out, shoving a bag of cookies and a letter which was all too familiar to him. “Please take it!” Akaashi felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to say ‘no thanks’ but the image of the girl bursting to tears made him flash a smile and muttered a thanks.

The brunette rushed back to the crowd of girls who showered her with questions.

“Akaashi’s really kind, right?”

“What did he say? What did he smell like?”

Slowly, they strolled away from Akaashi’s view. He hated the attention. He hated how guys from other classes would shoot daggers at him whenever he tried to interact with them. If Akaashi had been less noticeable, would he have no problem making friends of his own?

His thoughts were cut off when Bokuto came out of the classroom dragging a h/c-haired girl by her arm, “Akaashi, meet Y/n! Y/n, meet Akaashi!” He flashed a radiant smile. “Hope the both of you would get along yeah?” Y/n and Akaashi exchanged greetings and followed Bokuto around the school.

Akaashi couldn’t help but take small glances at her the whole time Bokuto was explaining things to her. He wondered if she was just like the group of girls earlier, a fangirl of his.

Could they ever be friends?

It wasn't until Bokuto left the pair to chat with his other friends for them to talk to each other. "Bokuto-senpai really is an extrovert, huh." The h/c-haired girl chuckled while the raven-haired boy simply nodded in response.

Her smile was just as bright as Bokuto's yet not noticeable by many. Her e/c eyes met his deep blue ones. They stared at each other till Y/n broke the silence, "So, you're in the volleyball club?"

Akaashi nodded

"what position?"

"setter."

"is it fun?"

"more or less."

Y/n shoots more simple questions which were quickly answered by short boring answers. "You know, Bokuto was actually my first friend in high school. I think it was... first-year? he came up to me when I was checking out the clubs." she reminisced, the corner of her lips curled upwards. "He wouldn't stop bugging me to join the boys volleyball team as thier manager. I was scared shitless by him and went to join the journalism club instead."

Akaashi's mouth formed and 'o'. he didn't know what to say. Y/n darted her eyes out the window, then turned back to look at him, "So for Bokuto's sake, I'm willing to open myself up to meet new people."

The raven-haired boy widened his eyes. After all, Bokuto really did look out for him — in one way or another.

"Hello, I'm Akaashi Keiji. Nice to meet you." Akaashi reintroduced himself, stretching his hand out.

Y/n flitched at the sudden warm gesture, her eyes softened. "L/n Y/n, likewise." her hand grasped his with bright smile plastered across her face as she shook it gently.

just like that, the school year ended.

Groups of students entered the classroom with their friends, laughers and chatters quickly filled their surroundings as they catch up with one another after the school break. It was finally Akaashi’s third-year in high school. Seeing the big smiles on everyone’s face, he sighed. Bokuto had graduated, leaving him alone at campus.

There was no one to talk to. No one to share his concerns for anymore. Akaashi had to admit, it was pretty boring without his loud, energetic, and cheerful senior to bug him around.

The raven-haired boy admired the view outside the classroom window. Just then, the image of the h/c-haired girl flashed across his eyes. It has been weeks? Months? Since Akaashi saw her. Yet her smile was still as radiant as the sun in his mind. Akaashi shook his head, there was no way Y/n would—

He was seconds away from finishing his thoughts when a girl stood in front of the classroom’s back door, panting. “Akaashi!” Y/n screamed at the top of her lungs.

His rounded eyes met hers

“Come on, lets each lunch together!” Swiftly, she grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his classroom. Students in the hallway were surprised by the new duo in sight.

Especially Y/n.

“Isn’t that Akaashi?”

“Huhhhh who’s that beside him?”

Despite that murmurs around them, Y/n continued to drag Akaashi down to the vending machine.

Akaashi cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. He finally asked, “What are you doing?”

The h/c-haired girl simply chuckled, “What do you think I’m doing?” Before Akaashi could respond to that rhetorical question, she continued, “I’m hanging out with a friend, duh!”

Hearing that response, Akaashi couldn’t help but frown. Her words ran through his mind for a moment.

“Friend.” She said.

And for once, there was a genuine smile on Akaashi’s face.

And for once, it wasn’t Bokuto or volleyball that made him feel that way.

“Don’t mind, don’t mind!” One of Fukurodani’s middle blocker assured the team.

They were having a practice match with a nearby school that wasn't as strong as Fukurodani, yet they were leading by 4 points.

“Hey Akaashi! get your head in the game!” Another second-year middle blocker called out.

Akaashi was trying to.

He was trying to block out the squeaky squeals from the group of girls above them. They were holding cutouts of words that said ‘Akaashi you can do it!’ And ‘Akaashi we love you!’ The cutouts weren’t an issue, but the screams they’d make whenever Akaashi was about to set the ball made him want to tear the whole place up.

And just like that, Fukurodani — a powerhouse school, had lost to a mere neighborhood school.

The blue-eyed setter left the school grounds in a hurry. He had promised his friend, Y/n, to walk home together but she was nowhere to be found.

Did she leave already? Did i take too long?

Akaashi didn’t know why there was a sharp pain in his heart.

Feeling dejected, he began his way to the bus stop. Usually he would head the opposite direction with the h/c-haired girl, walking her home almost everyday. Just as he was about to cross the street, Akaashi saw a familiar figure heading towards the convince store in front of him. It looked just like her.

The figure then looked out the glass wall, making eye contact with him. Her eyes widened and ran out of the building, “Akaashi!” She exclaimed, waving both her hands in the air. “I thought you went home already!” The blinking green man appeared on the pedestrian light, the setter let out a sigh of relief and smiled before crossing. He didn’t know why his cheeks turned red, It must’ve been the cold air right?

“Did you just got dismissed?”

“Yes, coach gave us an earful.” Akaashi lied. It wasn’t ‘us’ it was just him, His coach could tell that he was distracted the whole game by the way he would mess up his sets and serves. Y/n pulled him by the sleeves of his team jacket and went back into the convenience store. “It’s a pity that you lost… buy anything you want, my treat!”

After multiple insisting, they both sat down on the eating area with a cup of spicy instant noodles each. After one big slurp, Y/n hastily opened her bang and pulled out her wallet to buy herself a drink. Unknowingly, she had left her bag wide open.

As Y/n was choosing her drink, Akaashi couldn’t help but notice the bright pink words written on a piece of cardboard. It was way too familiar to him.

‘Akaashi we love you!’ It said.

He frowned. What was this doing inside her bag?

At first, Akaashi refused to believe it. He refused to believe that his closest friend would scream and kick her feet every time he interacts with her. Y/n knows how badly he hated his fangirls, so much till he wished that he could just be invisible. So why? Out of everyone, why must she be the one to have that pink sign that waves above him whenever he plays volleyball?

He didn’t know what to feel.

Betrayed? Sad? Furious?

Akaashi placed his pair of chopsticks down and stared into the horizon, eyes narrowing as a train of thoughts ran through his mind. Not long after, the said girl returned with a bottle of cola and the boy simply acted like nothing had happened.

“I didn’t expect it to be THIS spicy, you get what I’m saying?” She told him, eyes still on her red flaming noodles. Akaashi hummed in response, eyes glued to her instead of his own cup of noodles.

He observed each and every one of her actions. He was surprised as he found them… cute? But at the same time confused.

It was the same Y/n that he knew. Not some squealing girl asking him to accept chocolates.

ᯓᡣ𐭩

The pair slowly made their way to the bus stop, walking side by side. Y/n’s lips were swollen red due to the noodles that she ate. Akaashi wanted to break the silence but there was a lump in his throat, making him unable to do so.

The sky cackled and turned deep blue. It started with a light drizzle that soon turned into a downpour. The two quickly ran to the nearest shelter.

“Did you bring an umbrella?” Y/n asked as she stretched her right hand to feel the rain water.

The blue-eyed boy hesitated before shaking his head.

He didn’t know why. He clearly had one that was big enough for both of them if they squeezed together. So why didn’t he lie?

Without questioning, the girl smiled and stepped away from the shelter. Her hair and clothes were soon drenched within minutes. She simply couldn’t care less. There were puddles all over the floor as she spun around them, soaking her shoes and socks in the process. Akaashi’s lips curled up. He thought she looked pretty. Doesn't everyone think their friend is pretty?

“Y/n, your books will get wet.” Akaashi called out, his voice muffled by the sound of rain droplets hitting the ground.

Y/n seemed to get the hint and ran back to him, water dripping from her whole body. ”My bag’s waterproof, it should be fine! Come join me Akaashi, it’s fun!” As soon as those words left her mouth, the clouds above began to part and the rain eased off.

“Oh- Nevermind then…” the h/c-girl started to squeeze her uniform dry, “Let’s go, It’s starting to get late.” With that, Y/n and Akaashi returned to how they were before the rain had started. Side by side, they reached the bus stop.

Like always, Y/n started a conversation with the boy sitting beside her. She expected his replies to be as monotone as usual. However, Akaashi had asked a question in return. It was a first.

Before Y/n could answer his attempt to continue the conversation, her bus came. Y/n stood up and bid Akaashi goodbye.

When she was about to board the bus, she had a sudden feeling of warmth draped across her shoulders. It was the Fukurodani volleyball team jacket. Her cheeks went red with embarrassment as she turned to Akaashi. “T-Thank you..” She stuttered and rushed into the back of the bus.

The bus door shuts and the engine whirred. Akaashi’s eyes soften as he thought about her smile. His eyes were still glued on the moving bus.

He didn’t know what he was feeling.

But what he did know, for the first time ever, he was glad to have girls fawning over him if it meant that she was one of them.

(💙 word count: 2313 words.)

(💙 a follow is very much appreciated)

[lacedinweb22]

Vampire Next Door ♱✮♱ Miguel O'Hara x reader

Ch 6: Noise Complaints *ੈ‧₊ prev part

Your neighbor is strange, to say the least. Miguel O’Hara: Alchemax’s newest scientist, genius, most sought-after bachelor … and according to your wildest suspicions … a vampire?

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

The second night is a bit more rough. Your parents scold you on the phone for moving all that furniture by yourself and for skipping dinner, you have writer’s block from the stress, and you can’t stop thinking about the blood on the fire escape, and … your dream. 

You’ve finally moved half of your things into your bedroom, so you lay in bed and celebrate by watching your comfort movie and eating a mug cake, made with the little ingredients you have in your pantry.

The rain isn’t beating as hard tonight; the wind is gentle and the autumn leaves sway gently outside of your apartment.

Thump. 

You freeze. It came from the bathroom. You slowly get up, ready to be nosy and listen in on whatever is happening at Miguel’s place. 

You put your ear to the wall. 

Thump! 

It startles you; you back away. Then you hear groans, and moans, and whines. It sounds like … Miguel? 

The noise continues: groaning, thumping, whining. 

Is he … It sounds like sex. You get butterflies just thinking about it. The Miguel you’ve made up in your head, your hallway crush, having sex.

If you weren’t so tense, starved, depressed, and completely sucked out of your quiet bubble by his racket, you would find it kind of … hot? Shamefully so. You’d have the patience, the nerve, to sit on the cold, tile floor and listen in.

But it’s annoying, and you’ll have trouble sleeping as is.  

It also makes you jealous. You know who he is, you know people want him, it’s inevitable, you’re not oblivious. This is just going to be something you’ll have to deal with, your attractive neighbor going in and out of his apartment with new hot people and rubbing it in your face. 

You sink onto the cold floor, stare at the tiles, and you let yourself feel it, let yourself admit,

it hurts a bit.

You stop yourself from marching right over there and scolding him and promise yourself that you’ll only go over if it continues for another ten minutes.

 The thumps and grunts cut in and out for a few more minutes.

You sit back in bed, hearing the muffled voices, wincing with jealousy.

Your cheeks burn pink. You wait, slowly taking bites of your cake, sitting in the noise of the rustling trees and your neighbor’s sex.

It passes the ten minute mark. 

You blame yourself for not setting boundaries sooner with your roommate, I mean look where that got you. Kindness taken for weakness. Six year friendship down the drain.

You’ve got to set some boundaries.  

So you fix yourself up, mentally prepare, and march over to tell your horny neighbor that he and his friend have got to lower their shit.

You take a deep breath in and knock. 

You practice in your mind, “Miguel, it’s four in the goddamn morning!” No, maybe “Miguel, can you lower the fucking down to a 3?” or “Miguel, I think my invite to the threesome got lost in the mail!” 

You hear shuffling, then finally, a flushed Miguel opens the door up a crack. His eyebrows are furrowed, his eyes explore your body in a panic, searching you.

“Miguel, do you think you could lower the fucking down a bit? It’s four in the goddamn morning! Yeah, some of us like to spend our time at night sleeping,” you scold, impressively staying in character. 

He’s catching his breath, and trying to hide it. He’s got a jacket pulled over, which you know he’s just using to cover up the sweaty mess underneath. His cheeks are pink, he’s got a bruise on his jaw. The red in his eyes looks brighter than it did earlier. 

You can’t see much besides that. From the little that you can see, his apartment is dark. Cold air escapes his place and greets your face. 

He looks angry, and it throws you off. 

“Y/N, I’m in the middle of something. I thought you had some sort of emergency. Go to fucking bed,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, middle of who is the real question,” you mutter, leaning to your side to sneak a peek inside his apartment. He’s far too tall for you to look over his shoulder, and his build blocks any chance of you seeing what’s happening behind him. You catch a glimpse of the kitchen floor. There’s porcelain shattered across the floor. It’s all you can see.

“What the fuck are you doing in there?” you ask, slowly. 

He closes the door up a bit more, and runs a hand through his hair. 

“I–”

“What happened to your friend’s dog?” 

“Oh my god. I'll be quiet, okay? Talk tomorrow morning. This conversation is over.” 

He slams the door. 

“Fuck you too then,” you mutter, hitting the door.

Your stomach disobeys you, excitedly jumping at the thought of the talk that he’s scheduled for “tomorrow morning.”

You walk back inside of your apartment, then look into the peep hole at Miguel’s door. 

You need sleep. 

* * * * 

You’re too depressed to eat. Your stomach growls, but your chest hurts. Your mug sits on your side table, as you lay on your side staring at it, thinking of the past. 

Then the noise starts again. 

This time, it’s more than thumps. You hear meddling in drawers, and the slamming of cabinets.

You wait for it to stop. 

It doesn’t.

You sigh then get up to go scold your neighbor once again.

“What do you want?”

“You’re loud, Miguel. I’m trying to sleep,”

“And I’m trying to … box. Practice boxing,” 

“At four in the morning? Please,”

“I’m boxing!” he reasons, a whine in his voice, immature and defensive. 

“But your bathroom is against my bathroom. Are you boxing in the shower?”

He drags his hand down his face.

“Okay, Y/N, I’ll lower it down. Jesus. You’re fucking needy.”

“Needy?”

He crosses his arms, and tilts his head, looking down at you. He does that a lot. 

He smirks, “I’ve dealt with you five times already, Y/N, and you’ve only been here two days.”

You do the math. 

“I’ve only seen you four.” 

His eyebrows knit together, he looks to the side, at nothing, then looks back at you, concern suddenly wiped from his face. 

“Four, huh? Miscounted,” he shrugs.

Miscounted? Alchemax’s newest and brightest? Millionaire genius? 

But he doesn’t know you know that. So you roll your eyes and brush it off. 

“Well, keep it down, I’m–”

“Let’s go out, let’s uhh get something to eat,” he suggests, eyebrows furrowed. He nods to himself, turning away. He looks in pain. 

His voice trails away into his apartment.

“Come in … just swept, I know it’s a mess.” he shouts from what you assume is his bedroom.

You stand silently in the hallway, staring at the half-open door, then slowly take a few steps across the hall and into his apartment. 

The kitchen is dimly lit by the warm stovelight. You look at the broom standing against the counter, the gadgets spread across the kitchen counter, the punching bag hanging from the living room ceiling, the motorcycle helmet hanging from the coat rack. 

His voice approaches, “Yeah, let’s uhh go out. I gotta … gotta get out of here,”

He comes back, wincing as he pulls on a t-shirt, and comes through his doorway. You watch silently. 

You watch as he squeezes his biceps through the sleeves, then look down at his exposed happy trail leading down his lower stomach. You shift your eyes back up at his.

“Eat? Right now?” 

He finally has it on properly, his eyes lock onto yours.

“Yes, eat. Right now,” he confirms with a firm nod, bouncing his keys in his hand. He runs a stressed hand through his waves. He turns away, moving to the kitchen counter.

“When was the last time you ate?” he interrogates, never looking up. He slides gadgets into a drawer, his forearm swiping the counter clear of notes and scraps of metal.

Is your stomach rumbling that loud? 

You hesitate. You’re in your pajamas. You’re tired. But … it’s Miguel.

The boy– the man of your dreams. Seventeen year old you’s crush. Your crush.

And now he’s your neighbor, who is obviously trying to be social, be your friend. 

“Yes. I could eat.”

He nods, his hands now resting on his hips. He’s gathered himself. 

“I gotta change though,” you mutter, looking down at your pajamas. 

“I like your pajamas, just, you can stay in the car. I’ll run down and get it. 

You nod. 

“But it’s cold. Take my jacket.”

He grabs his moto jacket from the coat rack.

It’s the jacket he wore in college. The jacket he wore in your daydreams. The jacket. You’d recognize it anywhere.

You look up at him as he reaches his arms over you. 

 He sits it on your shoulders. It’s oversized, heavy, and it smells like him.

Your stomach jumps. 

You exit his apartment.

You lock your apartment door, as he locks his apartment door behind you. 

He stands behind you now, towering over you, watching you triple-check that your door knob won’t turn. 

“It’s locked,” he mutters behind you. 

“I know, I– I know,” you say, releasing the door knob and turning to meet his gaze looking down at you.

You lock eyes for a second, before the intimidation sinks in, forcing you to break away and start walking towards the elevator. 

* * * *

“There’s no way anything is open right now.”

“Try me. What do you feel like eating?” he asks, his eyes glued on the road.

It starts to sprinkle, then progressively picks up. The windshield wipers rush to clean up the blurry mess.

“You pick.”

“No, no, Y/N. I’m driving you. You’re the guest. You pick,” he demands, his face stern. 

“Okay, damn. Pizza. Detroit-style. You pick the place. I’m sure you’ve got one you’d recommend.”

“I do.” 

“And it’s open?” 

“I know a guy. He’s up early prepping. He owes me,” he shrugs.

You try to suppress your smile, turning to watch Miguel drive. His hand is on the bottom of the wheel, his toned forearms right there begging to be taken in by your eyes. He’s got them wrapped up.

He turns to look at you. 

“Stop staring … It’s rude.”

“Why do you have–”

“Why did you move apartments? What happened?” he asks, crashing your train of thought.

You haven’t talked about it in weeks. You haven’t thought about it in hours. You haven’t allowed yourself to mourn the loss of your friendship; just like that, high school memories, university memories, the old apartment, drunken nights in that room, memories of her flash through your mind.  

You’ll keep it simple.

“My roommate and I … we got tired of each other.”

“Tired?”

“Yes. Tired.”

“Huh. Adds up. She couldn’t handle how bothersome you are, hm? Thank god I’m far across the hall,” he scoffs. He turns to you. You’re not entertained. 

You turn towards the window. It is cold. You sink deeper into his jacket.

“Her loss. Who could get tired of you? I haven’t gotten tired of you. Not yet.”

He nudges you. 

“Pizza. Soon.” 

You don’t turn to face him. You just nod, “Yeah, yeah.” 

You arrive at the red brick building, stuffed in between old apartments. It looks old, trustworthy. 

“Give me ten,”

“Ten? But–”

“Lock the doors,” he instructs, grabbing his wallet, and turning the heater on. He slams the car door.

You sit and wait.

He walks out in five, with three boxes of pizza, and one circular foil tray of what looks like lasagna on top of it all.

“Jesus, there’s two of us, Mig. I’m not that hungry.”

“I wanted you to try the best things from the menu. Geez. You’ll have leftovers to bring home. Don’t stress.”

“How did you get that so fast? I mean I’m not complaining but…”

“I know a guy,” he shrugs.

You’ve forgotten that this is the Miguel O’Hara.

The connections must be infinite.

“Uh huh, okay,” you mutter, taking the boxes out of his hand and onto your lap.

“No, it’s hot– just put it on the backseat. You’re going to burn yourself,” he scolds. Before giving you the chance to comply, he grabs the boxes out of your hands. He leans over towards you, his biceps in your face as you turn to watch him place them down carefully in the back seats.

He puts his seatbelt on, then puts his hand on the back of your seat, looking through the rear window as he backs up slowly. His eyes catch yours. You turn away.

****

“One of the umm… one of the neighbors is throwing a Halloween party,” he cuts into the silence. 

“A party? I haven’t run into any of them yet, so I wouldn’t know,” you shrug, biting into your slice of pizza.

You sit together on the roof of the apartment building. Miguel has a key, says he knows a guy.

“It’s at Alicia’s place; she’s on our floor. We have an apartment floor email list. I’ll add you,” he assures, poking at the lasagna.

You nod, chewing and staring out at the skyline.

“Would you want to go? With me? To the party?” he asks, looking down at the pizza slice he’s just picked up.

“I don’t know if I have the energy to socialize or be… fun. I know how insufferable that sounds.”

“You don’t want to meet the neighbors? I get it if you don’t think you have the energy but… it might be fun. I never go to their parties, but it seemed like something you might want to go to.”

“I don’t want to meet any more people. I don’t want to make friends–” You stop abruptly, realizing how sad you sound, realizing how absolutely miserable you sound. You don’t recognize your voice, your words, yourself. You don’t like it; you want to go back to being friendly and hopeful, but that’s not who you are right now. 

“Y/N,”

You feel the word vomit. You couldn’t imagine ever being this negative and emotional towards someone you’ve just met, especially not Miguel. You wouldn’t let anyone see you like this, maybe her, maybe your sister, but not anyone else.

Maybe it’s because you haven’t had a real conversation with anyone in weeks. Maybe it’s because you’re vulnerable. Maybe it’s because you hardly know him, and it’s unlikely he’ll betray you with the little information he has on you. But for whatever reason, you trust him… and you word vomit on him. 

“I’ve been so miserable and… bitter lately. I guess I don’t see a point in trusting anyone or relying on anyone anymore. They always always let me down. It’s like everyone in my life was taking turns stabbing me in the back, and now I’m completely alone and completely broken. I am the only one I can rely on,” your voice cracks, but you keep going.

“And okay I do have people, but they’re all far… and they’re all telling me I can’t be negative and I have to keep loving and trying to make friends but I don’t want new people to pass the knife to. Is that so terrible? Does that really make me that fucking negative and self-pitying? And okay, maybe I am, but I don’t care anymore. If this is what I have to do to protect myself, then that’s what I’ll do… even if it means I’m miserable.”

You exhale, brushing your fingers through your hair. 

“To answer your question, no, I don’t want to go to the party.” 

You realize you’re crying. You knew you were in pain, but you didn’t think it would force its way out like this. 

“Y/N,”

You keep crying, hunched over, your face buried in your forearms as you keep your knees to your chest. 

You feel his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry you’ve been let down, but you can’t swear off giving love just because it was taken for weakness.”

He sighs. 

“I know you don’t want to be happy right now, and you don’t have to be. You can be miserable and bitter for as long as you need, but deep down there’s a Y/N in there who is still hopeful and… full of love. She needs time to heal and feel that it’s safe to come out again; we have all the time in the world.”

You sniffle, then look up at him. He’s looking down at his knuckles, then he turns, looking down at you. He softly smiles, worry still painted on his face. 

“You’re wise,” you breathe out. 

“So this is why the loner won’t stop bothering me? You needed a friend to make as miserable as you?”

“Yeah, you already seemed depressed so halfway there. Plus you live the closest to me, most convenient.”

“You’re doing a great job so far,” he nods, biting into his pizza.

“Yeah, I’m really working on it.” 

You turn, admiring the remnants of his smile. 

The sky is clear now, the rain has stopped. 

You feel calm, at peace, and… happy for what feels like the first time in a long time.

“Thank you for the pizza… and for pulling me out of my apartment. I really really needed this. You know, I’ve always thought I needed complete control and order in my life, I mean spontaneity and spur-of-the-moment type things scared me, but… I think sometimes… it’s what I need. Less thinking, and postponing, and just acting on urges, you know? On my happiness. I haven’t felt something in so long… I know this was a lot. Sorry to dump,” you shake your head, looking down, laughing at how much you’ve given up to him.

You lean into your hands, your elbows resting on your thighs. You feel his eyes on you. You turn, looking up at him, his face turned towards you. He swallows, then turns back, looking straight at the skyline again. His jaw clenches.

“Don’t be sorry. You said things that I’m too stubborn to admit. And yeah I’m a control freak too, but uh I think I’m realizing I can’t control everything and everyone in my life, so I might as well lose some control here and there, let myself be pulled out of my comfort zone.”

“I love my comfort zone,” you laugh, pressing your cheeks into the palms of your hands.

“Me too… but we can, you know, pull each other out of our comfort zones. I’d do that for you.”

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

Halloween chapter is here >_<

Hi i miss this ughdhisdfjf the lack of updates has been due to school and my emotions/mental health beating my ass. Thank you for reading and being here i love you i hope this brightened your day. I'm working so hard on this next sexy party chapter... stay tuned.

-G ⋆୨୧˚

[marvelmymarvel]

Sleepy Babies

Kakashi Hatake x NarutoMotherFigure!Reader

Synopsis: Ever since Obito died, Kakashi has been staying the night. It was for comfort, but as the years went on it blossomed into something more.

Naruto Masterlist: Here

A/n: this is pure hurt/comfort and NOT smut, especially in the first two parts, as they are children, and it's supposed to be sweet and innocent. Some kissing is mentioned in the parts where they are 18 or older. The timeline of this story starts when they are 11 (when Obito dies). And apparently, that timeline is messy in the Fandom, so I'm just going to act like Kakashi, and the reader is three years younger than Obito.

Ps: This fic ties in with most of my other Kakashi x NarutoMotherFigure fics (minus "Crawling Back to Me").

- 11 Years Old -

A knock sounded on your window, causing you to jump off your bed in excitement. Running to the window, you smiled brightly at the boy that slowly was becoming your bestest friend in the whole world. He slid up the window and started to step into the room, but you shushed him as he landed a little too hard. "You have to be quiet. I don't want my parents to know I'm sneaking friends in here."

He nodded at that before moving stealthily towards your bed.

You giggled as he sat cross-legged on the mattress, eyes wide as he took in your room. Usually, when he would sneak in, it was way past the time you had to have your lights off, but his thoughts had been growing darker earlier in the night. Therefore his arrival was slowly becoming earlier and earlier. You didn't mind, though.

Unbeknownst to you, your parents, being trained jounin, had already known of his presence and stood outside your room.

"Do you want to play a game?"

Your muffled words came through the door, causing your mother to smile softly. Your father stood along the wall behind her, huffing and puffing at the idea of letting such a thing happen.

"I don't like that she's having a boy staying the night-"

"It's nothing romantic... They both lost their friends, and they need comfort we can't give them," your mother argued back. She wished she could give you this comfort but years of being a Shinobi made her numb to death. Your father grew quiet, finally realizing that he, too, couldn't bring you comfort, couldn't calm your nightmares like a father should.

"Fine... But I still don't like it"

Your mother smiled softly at your father before leaning slightly to get a peek inside the room. You were pulling out a deck of cards, face bright as you started to shuffle them.

"Have you ever played "Go Fish?" Genma taught me how to play a couple of days ago!"

Kakashi shook his head at that. You talked a lot, but he had grown to like that about you. It allowed his brain to shut off. For the voices to stop. All he had to do was focus on you, and he would feel calm. He really enjoyed this time with you.

"Okay so here's how you play!"

Time passed, and your father had gone to bed, but your mother stayed put. After about an hour of playing, you had grown sleepy; it was usually at this time that you both fell asleep. "I'm sleepy, Kashi. Do you want to stay the night again?"

Kakashi nodded at that before standing up so you could make the bed.

You climbed in first, arms stretching over your head as you yawned. He climbed in after you but stayed far enough away so you didn't touch. But you still both lay in a way that had you facing each other. "I hope you have sweet dreams, Kakashi" you whispered as your eyelids began to droop. Kakashi nodded at this before wishing you the same.

Your mother sighed sadly as you two fell asleep. You two should have been having fun in your childhood, not seeking comfort from one another over the death of a comrade... Over a friend. "Are they asleep?"

Your mother nodded sadly at that, tears streaming down her cheeks as she began to regret their decision to put you in the academy so early on. "We shouldn't have done this-" your father's hand touching your mother's shoulder stopped her statement, for they both knew that this was meant to happen.

"If she weren't in the academy, she wouldn't be the rock Kakashi needs... And if he weren't in the academy, he wouldn't be the rock she needs... The world is cruel, and this line of work is cruel... But they have each other."

Your mother nodded at that before standing up from her spot on the ground. She still regretted putting you in the academy so early on.

But she was thankful you had Kakashi.

It continued that way, just the two of you. He'd come over around six, sometimes you'd sneak in some dinner, and by nine you were fast asleep. As the years went on, you grew closer and closer. You felt happy for once, and he felt the same way.

But it didn't last long.

- 14 Years Old -

A cry sounded out into the night, causing you to sigh in exasperation. You were so tired. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. You don't know why you said yes to the third Hokage, but the minute you saw the baby's little face, you knew you couldn't say no.

So now here you were. Depressed and taking care of a newborn all alone.

Well, not all alone.

"I got this one" Kakashi mumbled as he sat up in the bed. You simply nodded at that, not having the energy or will power to answer him. You looked over at the clock and sighed shakily. 1 AM... You laid down at 9 PM and have yet to fall asleep. You felt sick to your stomach, the death of your parents was really doing a number on you.

Your eyes drifted to the wall before you once again zoned out. It felt like ages had passed before Kakashi returned.

He entered the room again before quietly sighing at you curled up on the bed, eyes staring intently at the wall. He understood your pain, probably better than anyone else. You jumped lightly as he dragged his hand through your tangled and ratty hair, "How much sleep did you get?"

It was only then that you realized Naruto was no longer crying. It usually didn't take Kakashi long to soothe him... Looking back at the clock you realized that only a couple of minutes had passed. You didn't get much sleep, the fact that time felt like it was passing so slowly showed that. "I didn't fall asleep" you muttered as you cuddled into the pillow. Kakashi let out another sigh.

You hadn't been eating. Hadn't been sleeping. You rarely took a shower or got dressed for the day. He was worried about you.

He's been through this before, and he almost didn't make it out alive.

Kakashi motioned for you to scoot over and you did so reluctantly. He climbed in and moved closer to you. He lifted his hand but hesitated, if he did this, it could ruin everything. Deciding that your well being was more important than his worries, he wrapped his arm around you before dragging you into his embrace. Your mouth dropped in shock against his neck. For years the two of you had been inching closer and closer, but you didn't expect this to happen.

You weren't complaining though.

A sense of security overtook every one of your senses. All you felt now was love as if it was your mom herself hugging you. Tears fell down your cheeks as you cried into him, you didn't know if they were tears of joy or pain, but they felt good. "I got you. It's okay" Kakashi whispered as he cradled you close to him.

You both didn't know it, but this moment would be the one moment that changed everything.

- 18 Years Old -

The bed shifted, and you sighed as an arm wrapped around you. "One of these days, I'm going to stab you with a kunai accidentally," you grumbled. Kakashi's chuckle was soft, trying not to wake the four-year-old in the room over. You turned in his arms to be face to face with him, delighted to see his entire face. Something few saw. "How was the mission?" you whispered as your fingers played with the collar of his dark shirt. You chanced a glance at the area by the window.

The ANBU gear leaned against the wall, the mask looking back at you almost mockingly. It was rare for him not to stop at his house before coming by; the gear in your room told you a million things. He was tired. He was done.

And another piece of him was ripped away.

"Bad mission?"

He nodded before inching closer to you, encouraging you to hold him. That's all he wanted; he didn't want to discuss it. Didn't want to tell you the number of people that died—the number he killed.

Why did he kill that many anyway?

His chest tightened at the number flashing in his mind - 15. He killed 15 people. He brutally murdered them. Men. Women.

Children.

All in the name of the village. Kakashi felt his stomach churn as he looked away from you; you would think he was a monster. You had a right to believe such things. He was a monster—a cold-blooded monster who hid behind a mask.

"Hey," your soft voice pulled him out from that dark corner of his mind. His eyes flicked back up to your sweet ones. He expected to see disgust written all over your face; he always did.

And you always surprised him. For all you had on your face was pure love. He could kill a million people, and you'd still care for him. You'd still love him.

"It's just a mask. It's not who you are"

He heard you, he did, but he couldn't process the words. He couldn't process the pure love given to him. How could you even love a monster like him?

"Kashi. Come back to me"

Tears flew down his cheeks as he moved into your open arms. He fought back his sobs by snuggling his face into your neck, but you knew better than anyone the pain he was going through. "You're a good person Kakashi. And I will love you no matter what..." he nodded at your words, teeth biting his lip as he continued to push down his emotions. He curled into you and pulled himself deeper into your embrace. All he wanted to do was be held by you. The emotional and mental safety you gave him was something he couldn't live without.

You slowed your breathing, hoping it would encourage him to do the same. Kakashi sighed dreamily as your fingers ran sweetly through his hair, playing with it like you knew he liked it. Your fingers managed to snag pieces that had dried blood. Usually you wouldn't have allowed such a thing and would have made him take a shower first before climbing into bed.

But this was okay, he needed you, and that trumped everything.

His breathing evened out, causing you to sigh in relief as he finally fell asleep into what you hoped was a dreamless state. You turned your gaze once more to the ANBU gear. At first, you loved him being in the ANBU as it made you feel safe.

But not anymore, not at the cost of possibly losing him.

Your grip around him tightened as you started to drift off; he would most likely not be here in the morning when you woke up. Yet you had a sliver of hope that he'd be by your side when your eyes opened.

Or be making breakfast at least.

- 21 Years Old -

You shot up in bed, chest rising and falling quickly as you gasped for air. It felt like someone was choking you and holding you underwater at the same time. "Y/n?" Kakashi mumbled as he started to wake up beside you. Tears were already falling down your cheeks when he was fully awake. He tried to touch you, to bring you back to earth as you fought off the nightmare surrounding you. You were dreaming of the incident again.

Of him dying in your arms.

"Hey, what's going on" Kakashi's whisper only made it harder to breathe, and you once again shook your head and shot up from the bed. You needed air, needed water, needed space. You needed something you just didn't know what. Kakashi was close behind you as you swung your bedroom door open and fled to the front of the apartment. He opened his mouth to ask again what you were dreaming about, but he knew. It was the same one you'd been having for months now. It would start innocently, you and Obito playing and having fun. Then it morphed into something darker. The ending was always the same. Obito always ended up in your arms.

Dying.

But this time, it seemed like the ending was different. You took a sharp inhale as the cold night air shot through you, and finally, finally you began to come out of the haze the dream put you under. Kakashi leaned against the door frame, hesitant to touch you in case it would cause another breakdown. Slowly, you took in your surroundings. Everything was fine. It was indeed all a dream.

A strong arm wrapped around your shivering form. "Why don't we head inside?" Kakashi whispered as his lips pressed sweetly to your bare neck. You nodded at that, realizing it wasn't the village you lost.

It was him.

You turned in his arms. And your e/c eyes darkened as you gripped him tightly, "It was me this time wasn't it?"

You averted your gaze, embarrassed by your reaction to something as silly as a nightmare. He pulled you in closer before pressing a soft kiss to your nose. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you. I will always be here with you" Your lip trembled at his words. Sure, he was no longer in the ANBU, but he was still going on missions. He had to. He was too important to the village.

But damn the village.

"Sometimes I hate this village for using you like a pawn" Your snarl caught him off guard. He looked down at where your fingers roughly pulled at the top of his shirt. Kakashi opened his mouth to interject and to make you take back the words, but you brushed past him before he had the chance.

- 26 Years Old -

As Naruto grew, the less and less you and Kakashi stayed the night together. But the incident with Naruto and Mizuki changed that.

You tossed and turned in your bed, legs moving as if trying to run somewhere. Kakashi brought his hand across the bed to cup your cheek as he scooted in closer to you. "It's okay. I won't let anyone hurt you two" His whisper somehow made it into your dream because you stopped thrashing around. Soft whimpers still fell from your lips before your eyes finally opened. Kakashi's Sharingan shone in the dark room, the redness of it calming every fiber in your being.

"I'm so scared of losing him Kakashi."

He nodded at that. Naruto was a target, they tried their best to keep him a secret, but the news was spreading fast. "No one's going to hurt either of you when I'm around."

You didn't say anything. Didn't need to say anything. He moved closer to press a kiss to your lips. It was sweet and soft, calm and reassuring.

It was everything you loved about him.

You gave him a sad smile as his thumb caressed your cheek lovingly, "I missed this. I missed you being beside me," you whispered. It was dumb to feel embarrassed. You had been doing this since you were 11, but it had grown into something more.

He meant more to you now. In ways, you could have never planned.

When you befriended that 11-year-old boy, you did so because you both shared a tragedy and could rely on one another for comfort. But as time went on, that friendship blossomed. Your eagerness to see him morphed into something akin to love.No no. It was love.

This was love.

"I love you," you breathed out shakily. You've said it a million times before to him, but this was different. This was real. You didn't just love him as a best friend. You loved everything about him. His lips curled up into a knowing smile before he once more pressed his lips against yours. Kakashi moved your body so that he was hovering over you, deepening the kiss that had once started out as sweet.

Both of you fought for dominance as the kiss got heavier. Before finally, he pulled away. Your eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and the way you were looking at him made him feel like the luckiest man in the world. "Guess what?" He started, causing you to lean in more in the hopes he'd say the words you wanted to hear the most.

"I love you more"

[lokischocolatefountain]

I Know

Fandom: Narcos

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Rating: 18+

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: They knew they shouldn’t. It was vile, it would be a betrayal. But God, they couldn’t stop themselves.

A/N: warning- bad Spanish. Please correct me

“We shouldn’t.”

“I know.”

“I want to…” she trailed, looking up at him, her warm breath soothing his skin. Javier felt his heart beating faster, ready to leap out of his chest if he didn’t do what he was supposed to have done 7 years ago.

God, was that how long he knew her?

“I know,” he said softly, tilting her head up with just a finger to meet his eyes. They had changed so much since he first saw them. Still stern, still determined, but now there was an emptiness to them. He was ashamed to admit, but maybe the bright eyed woman she used to be would never have wanted him. Even if she hadn’t met him.

His eyes traveled down to her busted lips that looked better than the day she was clocked in the face, yet painful. Hesitation crept up again, another excuse to not take the leap. Guilt returned too.

That’s your friend’s wife.

The words had kept him off her ever since she returned from the US, barely out of the hospital and shirking her new responsibility to rejoin the hunt for Escobar.

“Javier…”

He swallowed as she said his name for the first time in his life, her tongue darting out to lick her lips as though she was tasting him on her. Her lips glistened under the scant light that hung from the ceiling of her apartment.

“Javi.” Determined, stern, sure. None of the hesitation with which she said his full first name. He was never Javier to her, let alone Javi. Always Peña— as the Agent Peña from the first months of their friendship to the Peña of recent. He took a step towards her, waiting for her to take a step back, to push him away or step aside from him— anything, anything to indicate she didn’t want this.

His hand acted of its own accord in cupping her cheek. He knew because he would never do this. She closed her eyes, looking serene for the first time now that she hid the war zone in her as she closed the windows to her soul. He’d made mistakes in life before, big ones. But even he wasn’t vile enough to do this. Right?

He didn’t know the answer to that. Couldn’t stop long enough to ponder upon the question as he caught her leaning towards him. Barely, but still… He brought his other hand to cup the other side of her face and placed his lips on her. Suddenly, none of it mattered. If he was a vile man, then so be it. Because the taste of her lips was anything but vile. The muffin he’d forced her to eat earlier that day combined with the whiskey she had alone in their office and the cigarette they passed between each other by her living room window. She was heavenly.

Her gun callused hand ran up his arm slowly, barely touching, very unlike the soft, confident hands he paid to touch him these days. Taking her wandering hand as permission to cross lines, he let himself explore her, moved a hand down her back and stopped at her waist. Losing himself in the softness of her lips, he squeezed her waist and pulled her closer to him, pressing himself against her body. She gasped and he let himself, like the vile man he was, to slip his tongue inside her mouth. She whined, grabbing a fistful of his shirt in her hand.

He was kissing her, he realized a bit too late. And she was kissing him back. Enthusiastically, pulling him closer and leaning in and pressing her body against his like he had only dreamed she would. Any time now, it felt like he would wake up on his bed embarrassingly alone to touch his cock with thoughts of her in his head. But none of that was going to happen because this was real. She was real. Their tongues gliding together, her hand in his hair, the gasps and whines, the nibbles of his lips and the way she arched her neck back to give him precious access to parts of her that made her gasp and cry his name— Javi. It was all real.

“Javier, please,” she begged, cradling his face in her hand. Need. Her eyes screamed need. Oh how long he had wanted her to look at him this way, watching enviously as she chose another man to be her partner when he was right there, already her partner at work. Years later, she was giving him exactly what he craved. Everything had a price, he thought as his heart clenched and he had to pull her closer to himself to make sure he didn’t crumble from the ache.

“This is wrong, baby,” he breathed, contradicting himself with the nickname. It seemed to be the night of new names for each other…

“I know. Kiss me anyways, Ja—” she whimpered as he followed her order, not as sweetly as the last kiss, but still passionate, wanting. She walked backward, pulling him along with her. Her hand shakily unbuttoned his shirt. He would have helped, but nothing could draw him away from drinking her sweet sounds right out of her lips.

She was the one to pull back first. He almost leaped back into the kiss, to pull her back into his orbit after she’d danced around and away from him for so long. But he realized that maybe, she wanted a bit of a break. To breathe, to process all this, to make time to pull away entirely if she wanted to. If she needed to make sure that this mistake would be worth it, that she could bear this on her soul along with everything else she bore. He should be a good friend; he should pull away and walk out of her apartment. It would be awkward at work, but nothing they’d experience would be as terrible as the guilt that would eat away at him for the rest of his life.

He was not a good friend. Of course he wasn’t. He was barely a good man. He reached between them and undid her belt, pulled off the DEA badge that matched his own and unbuttoned her pants.

He was not a good man. He was the kind who stood in front of his grieving friend, making her commit a mistake she could never take back. She wouldn’t look him in the face after this, but he decided it was something he could live with if he could have her just this once. He was ashamed, but not enough. He would keep kissing his friend throughout the night. His coworker. His partner. His friend’s wife.

He hovered over her bed, the same bed he helped carry into this very room as he teased her then fiancé about wedding night sex. He hurriedly popped the buttons off of her white blouse, afraid she might realize her mistake soon, afraid he’d have to take everything he wanted from her as quickly as he could.

“Gonna take care of you, hermosa…” he whispered into her neck as he palmed her breast.

She curled his hand over his and his breath caught in his throat as he felt the cold metal of her wedding band touch him. His thumb and index finger pinched around the band, ready to pull off the offending jewelry. It shouldn’t mean anything, but it drove him insane to feel her wearing that even as she lied under him on the bed she shared with her husband.

She entwined her fingers with his, cursing him to feel the crushing guilt throughout their mistake. But he needed her. Needed her so fucking bad.

In one deft movement, he rolled her onto her front and pulled her blouse off her arms, tossing it away before pulling his cock out of his slacks. She buried her face in her pillow, an accomplice to his betrayal as he pushed her panties aside and pushed a finger inside her. A few pumps of his finger in her cunt had her wet and ready for the taking.

He rolled a condom over his weeping cock and forced himself inside her, relishing in her moans of his name. Why couldn’t she have let him all those years ago?

“Dilo de nuevo, querida. Di mi nombre,” he begged, thrusting back inside her.

“Javier, Javiiii!” She cried as he reached under her to find her clit. He may be a selfish bastard, but he wasn’t in the business of leaving women unsatisfied in bed, best friend’s wife or not. He balanced his hard thrusts into her with gentle pressure over her clit.

“Te sientes, muy bien. ¡Muy bien para mí, mierda!”

He buried his face in her neck, kissing, biting and licking, doing every depraved thing to take everything he could from her, to consume her whole. The lingering scent of her perfume and her sweat from their day running behind sicarios intoxicated him. Her skin tasted salty on his tongue, but he didn’t mind; loved it, actually. He snapped her bra open, rubbing her hand over the expanse of her back. There was nothing sexy about his touch, nothing romantic. He wasn’t a man trying to prove himself in bed, he wasn’t trying to get his pesos worth out of her. He was but a desperate man, taking in anything and everything she offered before it would inevitably be taken away.

In his next act of desperation, he reached under her to find her breasts, kneading one in his hand as he basked in her muffled moans. Pride filled his chest with the realization that he was the one getting these sounds out of her.

“Fuck, Javi!” She breathed, thrusting up to match his quickening pace. Flesh slapped against flesh, so obscene yet so beautiful. He pulled her up from her bed, pressing her back against his chest with a hand around her throat while the other hand continued to work on her clit. He moved his hand from her throat, back down to her tits, groaning in frustration when he realized he wanted to touch all of her at the same time. All that fucking beauty and he wasn’t man enough to enjoy its wonders to the fullest. He cursed the limits of man, cursed her name as he attempted to rescue his mind from drowning in her too quickly. This was his one goddamned chance to have her and he wouldn’t fuck it up for himself by coming too soon.

He fucked his frustrations of the day into her and she fucked right back. They were failing at work, being sent on one goose chase after another and watching helplessly as the drug cartels wreaked havoc on innocent lives, as Escobar eluded them every single day. Before, the three of them chose to drown their anger in bottles of alcohol. But then they fell in love, formed their own partnership and left him out to fuck his frustrations into prostitutes. He didn’t complain, but fuck it hurt to be left out.

“Javi, I’m—” she gasped and threw her head back on his shoulder, forcing him to confront her face. How could he not, when all this beauty was leaning against him, her hair tickling his neck and his chin and his cheeks as she whimpered in the pleasure he gave her.

“¿Qué, cariño?” He taunted, knowing very well from how she clenched around him, what she was about to say.

“I—” she cried, wrapping her fingers around his wrist as he worked on her. She didn’t pull his hand away or do anything to stop him from touching her. She was just holding his fucking hand for the sake of it, to find purchase in the real world as he worked hard at fucking every thought out of her head.

“¿Qué? Halba, cariño.”

Amidst her incoherent moans, he heard his name once or twice. Fuck! He wanted to fuck her so hard she knew nothing but his name. Fuck her so hard she’d forget why they were in Columbia, putting up with all the shit they put up with and dodging fucking bullets on the streets. Fuck the pain out of her, fuck her so good she no longer walked around with the weight of the world on her shoulders. He was a fucking fool, but he didn’t know how else to help. Giving her an outlet to get her emotions out, that was all he knew and all he was useful for.

“Fuck, Javi! Pull my— pull my hair—” she choked on her words, her throat vibrating with the words beneath his hand. Grabbing her hand, he forced it to replace his on her clit before threading her hair in his fist and pulling. He grunted and groaned she she tightened around him, making it harder for him to fuck her as her cunt gripped him.

He looked down at her, mesmerized as her tits bounced from how roughly he took her from behind. They probably hurt her, but fucking hell he couldn’t form a thought even for a goddamn second to do something to make her more comfortable. She was everything and she was everywhere, taking over every thought in his head and every cell in his body, disappearing all his notions of self and replacing it with just her.

“Gonna come, Javi,” she cried, making him close the non-existent gap between them. Fuck! He wanted her closer, even closer than skin touching skin, closer than her cunt squeezing around his cock, closer than her cheek pressed against his as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“I know, I know. Do it, cariño. Come for me,” he said between his gasps for air. She followed through, despite being the stubborn woman she was. She came for him, her thighs shaking and her sore throat making a sound that sounded vaguely like his name. He wasted no time or mercy on her as she still rode down the high of her orgasm, her eyes empty, but from pleasure this time.

He pulled her off of him, making her whimper at the sudden loss of contact. But he made up for it quickly, flipping her onto her back and entering her with one quick stroke. One hand pinned her to the bed by her throat and the other joined her own, the wedding band she wore forgotten in his quest for comfort as he got closer. Dios mío! What a selfish bastard he was, seeking comfort from her when he had given her none, when he had abandoned her in her time of need… That was what he always did— he took and took and took without giving anything in return, be it her or his friend or this fucking country.

Again, he took as she pulled him down for a kiss, teeth clashing and accidentally biting a little too hard. There was nothing pretty about it, nothing good about their betrayal of the man they loved. But he took his pleasure out of her, screaming curses as he collapsed on top of her.

Fuck! What had they done?

“We shouldn’t have,” the words slipped out of him despite himself. There was no hurt in her eyes, nothing changed. It was like she was expecting this. Or she was accepting of the knowledge of how terrible they both were for their betrayal.

“I know…”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what, Javi?”

For my shitty intel that got your husband killed, for widowing you, for your toddler who died in his father’s arms, for not attending the funeral, not calling even once, not offering a word of comfort, for taking advantage of your vulnerability just now.

Where should he fucking start?

“Why are you here?” He asked, avoiding her question. He couldn’t speak the words without breaking into tears.

“This is my apartment, Javier,” she said dryly, her fingers drawing unrecognizable patterns on his back.

“Why are you here?”

She stilled in his arms and looked away from him. He heard her swallow. He should apologize, move away from the topic. It was clearly making her uncomfortable. But he couldn’t. The question was driving him mad ever since he opened the door to his office and saw her back at her old desk, answering calls and scribbling down notes.

His stubborn silence worked and she eventually gave him an answer probably just to break the awkwardness.

“Couldn’t sleep. They were in all my nightmares, asking me why I let them die.”

He forced himself to look into her eyes, hollow yet haunted. She had to be reliving the horrors of that day as she spoke of them, digging her nails into his arm.

“It wasn’t your fault!” He snapped, angered by her placing all this blame on herself. Is that why she was here? Because she thought she needed to atone for her family’s killing?

“He was so little, Javi… So vulnerable and fully dependent on me. And I,” she stopped as she choked on her words as she spoke about her son, his godson. He squeezed her hand and pulled her into a hug. “I failed him,” she took a deep breath, shaking in his arms as he kissed her forehead in a piss poor attempt at providing comfort. “Should’ve protected him with my life.”

“You did everything. You did everything to save him. You heard the doctors,” he said, recalling what was easily the worst day of his life. “Don’t blame yourself, Cariño.”

He wasn’t particularly fond of kids, but he happily accepted the role of godfather in the little one’s life. He promised to be the cool uncle who’d teach him how to pick up girls and to find the best cigarettes when the time came. He had a long life ahead of him, just like all of Escobar’s victims.

“You shouldn’t be here, in this fucking place— there’s so much left for you, a life, Cariño. You lost Hugo, you lost your son, but you have—” he stopped, ashamed that he didn’t even know whether she gave birth to a son or daughter, whether she gave birth at all.

“I can’t even look at her, Javi,” her voice broke as she spoke of her newborn. “What am I supposed to say when she asks if I protected her brother, if I avenged her father? How can I raise another one of his children when I let the first one die?”

“It’s not your fault,” he spat, grabbing her face in both her hands. “If not your fucking fault!” Her family was one of the casualties of the war against drugs, one of the many casualties on both sides. An addition to the increasing number of widows and orphans Escobar made. Just like all the other families on that list, hers did nothing to deserve this, no particular mistakes she could’ve avoided to escape this misery.

“I should do this whether or not it was my fault. Hugo…you know Hugo was passionate about this. Wanted peace for his ancestral country at any cost— Would be a waste of his life if I ran back like a fucking coward. I can’t let it be for nothing.”

What was he supposed to do? Tell her she was wrong? Tell her to move on with her life when she still wore the wedding band from a dead man? There were countless people like her in the country, some thirsting for revenge and some running far away from this mess. He couldn’t blame either type. Unlike the others, they had some power to do something about that monster.

“We’ll do it together,” he promised. “You have me.”

“I know.”

.

.

.

Read my other Pedro Pascal fics

[ec1ips3]

-;༉‧₊˚✧ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞

⚡︎ pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

⚡︎ summary: you and jj aren’t friends, the thought of being friends felt so foreign. after some arguments, boy troubles, and years of yearning and aruging, the idea doesn’t seem so foreign. 

⚡︎ warning: angst, mean jj, you’re a kook, i know that’s clique but i love kook!reader, swearing, she/her pronouns, not proofread, underage drinking, cheating, abandonment issues mentioned, mention of blood, fluff if you squint.

⚡︎ word count: 21, 284

⚡︎ a/n: hi everyoneeee! hope you’re all doing amazing. I decided to write some jj in honor of the new outer banks season i have yet to watch (because of jiara). also i’m guessing this takes place before season 2 because no cleo :(. BUT there is always a next time :). Also im sorry this is so long, i kept writing and i just kept adding and adding and adding, got too into it. also sorry this was late, but it’s okay because i think i wrote the best kissing scene i’ve ever written. Anyway like always, requests and taglist are always open. happy reading! <;33

masterlist | jj’s masterlist | taglist

“If you do it like that, you could break it” JJ complained.

“JJ, I did it the exact way you do it, get over it” You respond.

“Can you two stop acting like children?” Kie pleads.

You and JJ never got along. There was no real valid reason, not that you know of. You started hanging out with the pogues when Sarah and John B got together. She insisted one day you come with her so she actually has someone to talk to because there was still tension with Kie. You agreed because you wanted to help her, but one time turned into a second visit, then it became going every time Sarah went, or when Kie had called you to come over. 

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

It wasn’t like you stepped on JJ’s foot when he was younger, or that you acted cruel towards him like all the other kooks. JJ Maybank just hated you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your presence. He hated you. And he always made sure you knew he hated you.

JJ would always pick up stupid little arguments about anything. If you reacted in any sort of way he didn’t like, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. If you wanted to surf you were told you didn’t know how to. And you always fed into it.

“Y/n please, you two have been going at this all day on hms pogue,” Sarah says rubbing her head, hoping to soothe her headache from the arguing. 

“I’m curious JJ, what is my place here? Kook Princess?” You remind yourself of JJ’s comment earlier.

“You may be all high and mighty in kooklandia, but here, you’re a bottom feeder”

The both of you continue to argue, everyone on the poor boat having to listen to the both of you go back and forth. In the beginning, you ignored JJ and his remarks, he was furious when Sarah brought you the first time. He was already unhappy when John B brought one kook princess, but another one was his limit. 

You understood why JJ didn’t like you at first, you were a kook, people that treated people like him like garbage, he didn’t know who you were as a person.

But as you slowly showed up more often, JJ just seemed more annoyed with you. He hasn’t even tried to have one genuine conversation with you, he’s never said anything remotely nice to you, and he hasn’t made any friendly gesture towards you. After a while, you had reached your own limit. You were no longer able to just sit and frown as he said mean things to you, you started to defend yourself.

When John B finally docked the boat at the Chateau you were the first one off the boat thanking him once you landed and walking straight into the small house. You were hoping that Sarah or even Pope had been the one behind you but you knew it was too good to be true when you heard his voice again.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks following you.

“I’m getting away from you so you could stop annoying me” you roll your eyes.

“I wasn’t done talking to you,” JJ said.

“I was,” you say, plopping yourself on the couch, massaging your temple from the headache JJ had caused you.

“J, just let the girl be” Pope defended you, sitting next to you.

“Are you seriously on her side? When she was pulling the anchor chain, she was pulling it too close to us. She would’ve had to get us a new boat” JJ reminds him as everyone else walks in too.

“Like you wouldn’t have liked a new boat with my money” you grumbled.

“You mean daddy’s money,” JJ said. 

“JJ” Kie called him out.

“Am I wrong? It isn’t even her money. It’s the money daddy gives her. She doesn’t even do anything for it, she just has it” he continues.

“Oh, shut the fuck up JJ. You never stop talking about me or my family for more than 10 minutes” you stand up, visibly getting angrier.

“Yeah right kook princess, just like how you never-” 

“That’s enough!” John B cuts Jj off before he could finish. The room was now silent.

It always annoyed John B and Sarah how much you and JJ argue. JJ was like John B’s brother just like you’re just like Sarah’s sister. Seeing two people they loved argue really ruined their moods and sometimes they even had arguments about the two of you arguing. 

It wasn’t like John B didn’t like you, he did really like you. When Sarah would show up to a pogue thing, he would always ask for you, you were really easy to talk to, and you always looked out for him and his friends. JJ included. There were times when you had to pay for things for everyone, times when John B needed a little extra money for food, and even having to bail JJ out of jail. And you were always there to help and talk. 

JJ liked Sarah. That was it. She makes John B happy and that’s all that really matters to him. She always treats his friends right and makes them happy too. JJ is started to warm up more to Sarah and is beginning to have an actual conversation with him now. His only problem with Sarah is that she brings you around.

“I’m so sick and tired of the arguing today. Pope, JJ, and I will stay here. Ladies, do whatever you want, I don’t care. Just take her, away from him and we will all be happy” John B points to you and JJ when he says your name, his arms folded once he’s done.

“Yes! That’s a great idea. We could eat at the Wreck. I’m starving” Sarah jumps in, looking at you with the hope that you’ll agree.

“My dad did ask about you last time,” Kie told you, trying to convince you.

You didn’t need convincing. The second John B had said you and JJ needed to be apart, you would’ve done anything. 

“That isn’t fair. I’m hungry too” JJ complained.

“I will gladly leave,” you say.

“Perfect” Sarah sighs, walking to John B as a Bye and see you later.

You wave to Pope and John B who wave back, not indicating if you were coming back or not. The three of you left in Sarah’s car as she was the one who picked you up and drove to the Wreck.

The minute you stepped foot into the vehicle, there was a large weight lifted off of your shoulders. And when you stepped foot into the restaurant, your entire mood changed from annoyed to happy. Maybe it was the atmosphere, but Sarah and Kie are convinced it’s because you are now completely away from JJ.

The three of you strike up a random conversation, you not wanting to even think about the boy who changed the mood for you. After Kie gets your table’s food from the kitchen and you’re all eating is when someone just had to bring him up.

“Maybe you were just hangry when you had that argument with JJ” Sarah starts, and you roll your eyes.

“Or maybe, JJ is just annoying”

“She isn’t wrong, JJ is very annoying” Kie backs you up.

“Yeah but, Y/n. It’s JJ. You can always ignore him” Sarah says.

“If I ignore him he thinks it’s okay to do it. When I talk back he still thinks it’s okay, but he knows that I’m able to defend myself. That within himself already angers him” you say, sipping on your drink.

“I don’t know, maybe you guys just need to have sex,” Kie says plainly.

“Kie!” you and Sarah say at the same time.

“I’m serious. What if all this fighting is just both of you sexually frustrated with each other? Instead of taking each other’s clothes off, you argue with each other” Kie explains herself.

“I would rather get gum in my hair,” you say, biting a fry.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t find JJ attractive. Hell, everyone in, even Rafe did. 

Before you met him, you just liked to look from afar. When you did, you thought maybe if you were nice enough something would blossom. But nothing ever did, just hatred towards you. Maybe that’s why you never could actually hate JJ as much as you disliked him. Maybe it’s the way he laughs, the way he shakes his head like a dog when he gets out of water. Maybe his pretty privilege gives him a pass.

“Her idea doesn’t actually sound too bad,” Sarah says as she thinks about it more.

“Sarah!” you say.

“Think about it. What if one day you and JJ just fuck, do you think you’ll continue to fight?” Sarah asks.

“I don’t want to think about fucking JJ, thank you very much” you respond, going back to eating. After that statement and a few laughs from the table, Sarah strikes up a new conversation. 

Kie took this time to take other tables, every 20 minutes going back to your table to include herself in the conversation. As she was sitting this time, she noticed something, or rather someone.

Kie kicked your food under the table.

“Ow. What was that for?” you complain.

“Don’t look now but that guy behind you is totally checking you out” Kie says, still looking at the guy.

You did the only thing any reasonable person would and looked back, Sarah following suit. When you looked back a boy was looking at you. With light brown hair and blue eyes, he blushed and looked at his friends after you looked at him. He was really cute, like really really cute.

“I told you not to look back” Kie laughed.

“Yeah and I’m glad I did anyway. He’s cute” You say.

“You could always just, talk to him. Maybe get his number” Sarah suggested.

“Yeah right, he’s probably some guy that’s staying for the weekend, I’ll pass. Can you take me home now” You look at Sarah, her eyebrows knit together.

“You aren’t coming back?” she asks, you shake your head.

You were having a good time, going back to where he was would just ruin your mood. So to not risk it, you wanted to go home.

“To spare everyone from an even harder headache, I’ll stay home. I have things to do anyway” you say.

“You mean binge-watch ‘You’ and obsess over Joe Goldberg again” Kie calls you out.

“I can fix him” you respond.

“He’s a serial killer!” Kie responds

The table laughs until Sarah finally agrees, Kie going with her to drop you off at home. You do exactly what Kie said you would do, it’s a little boring but, it’s better than arguing with someone. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You’re scrolling on your phone when you hear your doorbell ring frantically. Since no one else was home, you take your phone with you as you quickly run down the stairs to open the door. When you open the door, you weren’t expecting Kie.

“Y/n, you have to come. Sarah got stung by a jellyfish” she said frantically

“Wait what, how? Why are you even here shouldn’t you be-” Kie cut you off before you could even finish your sentence.

“She wants you to pee on her. Just put on your shoes and come!” Kie tried pulling you out of the door but you took a step back. “Give me a second,” you said quickly getting your shoes from the side and holding them in your hand until you get in her car.

Kie drove you to the Chateau when she held your hand to the back you already saw Pope and John B on HMS Pogue. 

If John B was here, why did Sarah need you? “Wait, John B? Where’s Sarah?” you ask, getting on the boat, Pope holding your’s and Kie’s hand. 

“She’s on her dad’s. But she insisted we leave to get you to pee on her” John B explained.

“But you’re literally her boyfriend” you respond, confused.

“She said something about how ‘boy pee is dirtier than girl pee’” Pope said, you rolled your eyes. That is something Sarah would say. 

Eventually, John B pulled up next to Sarah’s boat. JJ was nowhere to be found, you had assumed he would be on the boat with Sarah to keep her company. But it was only her and her painful moans in the water.

You get on Sarah’s boat and you try to lift her, “Y/n, you’re here to pee on me” Sarah said cheerfully. 

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not peeing on you Sarah, I’m taking you to the doctor which should’ve been done when you first got stung” you said, sending daggers to John B’s eyes. 

“But you know that you can pee on someone to take the stinging away,” Sarah says leaning against you.

“I don’t even think that’s true but whatever helps you sleep at night,” you say walking to the edge of the boat so John B could take Sarah, who gracefully does his job. 

Once you hand Sarah off you hear banging, and when you look back the cockpit door is moving rapidly. The loud banging with the moving door only makes you more confused. 

“Sarah… Is there someone here?” you ask, expecting some sort of answer. But all you heard was the motor and silence. “Sarah?” you look back where John B’s boat should be but it isn’t there. 

Your eyes go wide, you see them slowly boat away. “Sorry Y/n, I still love you!” Sarah called out from the boat. She still loves you? What does she mean by-

You couldn’t even finish your thought before the cockpit door opens, but someone comes out quickly. When you see the familiar blond hair you want to curl into a ball and never come out again. 

JJ notices you, his eyes wide. He mumbles something under his breath before he goes to where you are and looks at his friends. “What the fuck?!” He yells at them.

“We’re tired of the arguing! We’ll come back in the morning for the both of you” Kie said.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” you groaned.

JJ looked at you for a second, then back at his friends. He groans loudly, louder than you which already annoys you.

“They’re kidding right, they’re not actually gonna leave us here?” you ask him, JJ just rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah dumbass, they are. We did it to Kie and Sarah once” JJ told you, he sighed and walked away from you, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You suck your teeth and look where your friends were. But when you felt the familiar something in your shorts you squealed loudly. JJ looked back at you to see what made you so excited. But when you pulled out your phone that was when he got angrier. 

“It isn’t gonna work,” JJ tells you.

“You don’t know that Sarah’s boat should have wifi” 

“I do know that and she doesn’t. Remember she said something about how it never works when it’s away from her house.” JJ rolled his eyes.

When you stood up and raised your phone in the air you cursed yourself. He was right, it wasn’t working. You remember Sarah and Kie laughing about when the pogues did it to them. You had hoped that maybe this would help you and JJ. With that being said instead of trying to make an actual conversation with you, JJ pulls a joint out of his pocket, lights it up, and puts it to his lips before he could even offer it if you wanted.

Even if you rejected his offer, it would’ve shown he was actually trying. You roll your eyes and go down to where you and Sarah usually sleep when you sleep over on the boat. If he wasn’t going to make the effort, why should you? You thought.

You entertained yourself with the games on your phone that didn’t need wifi for a couple of minutes. Then minutes turned into hours when your phone died and you hadn’t seen JJ since you left him. You know he’s hungry because you’re hungry so as much as you dread it, you decide to put an end to the arguing.

You took some chips out of your and Sarah’s secret stash and left the small room. When you walk out the first thing that hits your nose is weed. You walk to the middle of the boat just to find him on the edge of it, smoking a joint, looking in the distance. You walked a little harder so JJ could recognize you were around, and he did, looking back at you. You threw him the chips. 

“I know you’re hungry, consider this a piece offering,” You say, opening your bag and taking out a chip to bite. 

JJ just looked at his chip bag and scoffed, he threw it back at your feet. “I don’t want it,” he said lowly. You roll your eyes, of course, he’s acting like a child. 

“Look, I don’t want to do this as much as you but we should at least give it a try. Us arguing is ruining our friendship with everyone else.” You explain to him

JJ laughed loudly, “you mean you’re ruining your relationship with everyone” 

“Excuse me”

“You heard me. Maybe if you weren’t so annoying you wouldn’t be ruining those friendships, but you are” JJ says 

You’re speechless for a second thinking of what to say before you actually say it. “Last time I check JJ it takes two people to hold an argument. I’m not the only annoying one” 

“Sorry, Princess but that’s all you. Maybe if you didn’t act like a kook you would be able to realize how annoying you are”

“Is that the only reason you don’t like me? Because I’m a kook? That’s real childish of you, JJ” 

JJ stood up at the word childish, getting close to you. “Then so be it, but at least I act like my true self,” he says

“What are you even talking about? I didn’t ask to be a kook, I can’t control that” you defend yourself.

“Yeah but you control who you choose or who not to be friends with,” JJ says, venom rolling off his tongue.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you knew exactly what he meant, you just wanted him to say it.

“You’re a princess who lives in this big castle, everyone caters to you. You can do no wrong, everyone loves you. But you chose to befriend the ones everyone looks down upon. It’s fucking weird and fake” JJ says, raising his voice slightly.

“So you hate me because I’m friends with your friends instead of some random kooks?” 

“No, I hate you because you are you. You’re a spoiled brat who uses daddy’s money to get closer to us. You act so innocent like you don’t know what you’re doing but you do! I don’t know why you’re friends with us Y/n but I know that when Daddy is no longer upset at you, you’ll go crawling back to your kook friends” JJ said, every word he said hurting you slightly more, and more.

“You don’t even know me,” you say angrily.

“And I don’t want to. Think about it. When it was just Sarah, everything was perfectly fine. No one was ever begging someone to stop arguing, we were always happy and laughing. That all changed when Sarah decided to bring you around. You changed everything!”

You were speechless, your mouth slightly wide, your eyebrows furrowed together. JJ has never yelled at you once, so seeing him do it now only made you feel pain. To think you actually liked this guy, to think you tried to befriend him. And all of it was for nothing.

JJ took your silence as an opportunity to go further. “You changed everything! And you changed everything for the worse! Do you actually think we enjoy being with you? Do you really think Pope doesn’t care when you ask him multiple questions? Do you really think Kie doesn’t hate it when you bring up something from the kook academy? Do you really think John B likes you? He only puts up with you because of Sarah. They all only put up with you because of Sarah! So get a grip, stop trying to be my friend, and leave my friends alone!”

The sound of his echoes was the only thing heard. Your eyes began to water. You knew he was wrong, if he wasn’t they would’ve all said something to you or Sarah. But there was a small part of you that believed him. 

JJ had only realized what he said once he noticed your entire face go pale. Like all the life and the spirit you had in you was gone instantly. He felt bad, he didn’t mean the words he said. He was angry, he wanted you to stay away from him. He never wanted to ruin you, when he first saw you, that was his one wish for himself. But he did it anyway.

“Y/n… I’m sorry I didn’t- I didn’t mean it. I- I was just saying-”

“It’s okay, I get it,” you said softly, it’s so soft and quiet. He’s never heard you be this quiet and he never wants to hear you this quiet ever again.

“No, this isn’t-” he took a step closer to you and you took two steps back. “Y/n…”

You wipe the tears that fall, “I’m gonna go back inside the cabin. Have a nice night JJ” you said even quieter than before.

“I’m sorry. Y/n I didn’t mean any of it, you gotta believe me” JJ pleaded with you. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, you knew if you did you would only cry more.

 “Yeah JJ. I believe you” you said, looking at him for a second, just a second. Once you do you quickly turn away, walking to the cabin.

JJ didn’t stop you, he wanted to. He didn’t want to make you cry, he never wanted to even see you cry. He ran his fingers through his hair and grabbed the ends of it. He felt like an idiot. He sat down, the unopened bag of chips next to him. He looked at it and shook his head, getting angrier with himself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

The sunlight fell onto your face, waking you up. Your eyes were tired from all of the crying you did last night. You had a massive headache. Your voice felt so small. Everything from last night made you want to go back to sleep and stay in that cabin for the rest of your life, but you knew that wouldn’t be possible. 

You walked out of the cabin and saw a small bag of chips at the door, the bag of chips you gave him. You throw it back into the cabin and you didn’t even try to look for him. You were on the edge waiting for your friends to come back. 

You finally saw a small white dot in the distance, sighing with relief. But that sigh was too soon because you felt the new presence behind you. The HMS Pogue was getting closer and neither of you said a word. Not until it was almost there that JJ had broken the silence.

“I’m really sorry Y/n. I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you because they all aren’t true.”

You stood up and looked at him, “it’s okay JJ. You won’t have to worry about me anymore” you say, looking at the HMS Pogue.

“What?” his blue eyes filled with confusion.

“I’ll stay away from you and your friends. Just so everyone can be happy like they were before me”

“Y/n” was all JJ said when he heard Kie’s voice.

“Did everything go as planned?” she asked. The both of you were silent.

You had climbed down to the HMS Pogue with the help of Pope, both you and JJ silent as ever. 

“Guess not” John B mumbled, climbing onto Sarah’s boat with Sarah. 

“Why are you getting here?” JJ asked. 

“Well, I need my boat back. So John B and I were gonna drive it back to my house and Pop was gonna take the pogue boat and drive to my house in the twinkie to pick us up. You can join John B and me if you want” Sarah offered JJ.

He looked at you who was looking at the ground below you. So quiet you were. JJ nodded, walking away from the edge of Sarah’s boat.

“Pope, can you drive me home before you pick them up? My mom is probably freaking out about where I was last night” you ask him, your eyes soft and the presence you held within them so small.

“Uhm, yeah. Sure, Of course” Pope nodded, starting the HMS Pogue. 

“Uh, we’ll see you guys later,” Kie told John B and Sarah.

“See you later,” Sarah said, but she only looked at you.

The boat ride to the Chateau was the quietest it’s ever been in. You, Pope, and Kie got in the twinkie shortly after docking and just like he said, Pope took you home first. Not without a bye of course.

When you walked into your house, your mother was already waiting for you in the kitchen. After your long minutes of scolding and your punishment of not going outside unless asked to for a week, you went to your room. To do what you did in the cabin. Cry your eyes out.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

The week’s punishment wasn’t bad. You actually enjoyed it. You had an excuse for Sarah and Kie when they asked to hang out. But once the week was up you gave every excuse in the books to not go. You told JJ you would stay away from them, and you are. 

You would be lying if you said it wasn’t lonely, it was very lonely. You were so used to being with them almost every day that now your day just feels empty. And poor Sarah. You would talk to her every day, there wasn’t one time when you weren’t with or texting her. You didn’t tell her what happened on the boat after she asked. You didn’t want their image of JJ to disappear.

JJ was also going through it. Ever since what happened on the boat JJ was quieter than usual, it made the rest of the pogues worry. He also hadn’t told them what happened on the boat mainly because he knew you weren’t going to.

Every time the pogues brought you up JJ just felt guilty. He knows he is the reason why you aren’t showing up anymore, and in a way, the pogues know it too. JJ didn’t know what to do, he wanted to talk to you but he didn’t know if he should actually go to your house. He had a feeling you would just ignore him and tell him to leave. JJ felt helpless, he didn’t know how to clean up the mess he created.

When you woke up this morning you did your usual routine, mainly just sulking. When you went to eat your breakfast though your mom asked to run some errands for her. You asked her why she couldn’t do it and she reminded you that you haven’t been outside in a while, to soak up some sun. 

She was right though, you hadn’t been out since Pope dropped you off. You agreed to run the errands. You got upstairs and decided to try to look decent since you’ve just been in pajamas. Once you were done and looked at yourself in the mirror you felt more like yourself, maybe you felt even a little happier. 

You went in your car to do the things your mom told you to do, playing your music and you felt better than when you first woke up in the morning. You went to the flower shops, you went to your mom’s office to grab something, you went to the grocery store, and the last place you had to go to was Heywards. You saved that for last because you know Pope is usually with his dad, sometimes JJ and John B even helping for extra cash.

Once you walked in Mr. Heyward already smiled at you. “Y/n, how are you doing? Long time no see”

“Mr. Heyward, I’m alright. How are you? How’s Mrs. Heyward” 

“Oh, she’s doing great. You know you could just call me Heyward, Y/n. Mr. Heyward makes me feel old” you both laugh. “What brings you here?” he asks, the smile still on his face. 

“My mom had made an order a couple of days ago she said, I’m just here to pick it up and pay”

“I’ll get right on that” He starts to walk away but he pauses and looks back “You know, the rest of them have been around a couple of times and I haven’t seen you. Pope hasn’t even mentioned you in a while. I guess what I’m letting you know is that they miss having you around” 

“Oh” was your only response, you didn’t know what to say. It felt nice knowing that they miss you, but it pains you to know they still want you around. 

“I’ll get your order now. I’ll be with you right now sir” Mr. Heyward said to someone behind you and walked away quickly.

You looked behind you once he left, and it was a guy behind you. Light brown hair and blue eyes. He looked familiar but you didn’t know from where. When you looked back at him it was like his interest had peaked, once you smiled at him and he returned one you turned away. 

There was an awkward silence between the two of you but Mr. Heyward came out quickly with a bag. “Here you go, that’ll be 67.95,” he said. You gave him a hundred-dollar bill. “You can keep the change Mr. Heyward” you smiled.

Mr. Heyward thanked you and you grabbed the bag walking to your car now. You put the bag in the backseat on the driver’s side but when you shut the door the boy that was inside was walking towards you.

“Hi, I don’t want to take too much of your day. I don’t know if you remember me but I saw you t that one restaurant, you were with your friends, two girls.” He says, you jog your memories and it pops up.

“Yes! I was wondering why you looked so familiar. I remember now, what’s up” you give him a gentle smile.

“Well, I was with my friends there too. And they noticed I was looking at you and they wanted me to ask you out. I kinda chickened out and when you left I thought I wasn’t going to see you again. But now that I have, I think it’s a sign to take my chance. So are you willing to maybe, go on a date with me? You could say no of course but I wouldn’t mind a yes either” he gives you a dazzling smile. He was cute. You haven’t been on a date in forever and you don’t have friends to make plans with. The worst that could happen is the date doesn’t go well.

“Yeah, sure. I’d love to”

The boy smiles wider, “great. That’s perfect uhm- Sorry I thought you would say no” he says, sounding suddenly out of breath. You giggle at him. You pull out your phone and pull up to add to contacts, giving it to him.

“Give me your number and I’ll give you mine. Just text me the details and it’s a date” you say, the boy gives you his phone quickly. You put your phone number and put your name down, then you texted yourself a little message before giving the phone back.

“Oh, I’m Jayden by the way,” the boy says. 

“Y/n” you respond, walking to open your car door. “I’ll see you around Jayden” you opened the door. 

“Likewise, I’ll get right on with the details,” Jayden says, you nod and he walks away a smile on both of your faces. 

You enter your car and drive home in a much better mood, you needed this. A cute date with a cute guy. This could lead to absolutely nothing or maybe just a short fling, you didn’t mind either. Maybe this could help you take your mind off of the pogues.

But the pogues wouldn’t take their mind off of you. Especially not anymore. Pope was outside of Heyward’s and watched when you first pulled up to his dad’s business. Not only that but his dad mentioned you were there. Pope saw you walk out and saw a guy he’s never seen before walk up to you. He watched as you listened to what the boy was saying and he saw when you gave him your number.

He didn’t know when he was gonna bring it up but he knew he would tell the rest of them. There was a part of him that felt like it wasn’t anyone’s business, to just leave you alone. But then he reminded himself how much everyone is moping around, maybe this will be a clue.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

Some time has passed since you were at Heyward’s. A month to be exact. 

You were happier than the month prior. The date with Jayden went so well you had another one not long after. Then you started hanging out more and more. Then he kissed you. Not long after he asked you to be his girlfriend.

You felt like it was too short, you hadn’t known him for long and he was already asking you to be his girlfriend. But you accepted anyway.

It’s been almost two months since the last time you saw the pogues. Almost two months since you saw Sarah. God, you missed her. You wanted to tell her all about Jayden, you wanted to have a girls’ day with her and Kie. You wanted to be with the pogues. You wanted to laugh like you used to, you wanted to surf with people who knew how to, and you wanted to feel fun again.

Jayden introduced you to his friends after the second date. Neither he nor his friends lived in the Outer Banks, they all lived on the mainland. They usually came out here for the summer but the commute from there to the mainland wasn’t long, so the relationship was doable when summer is over.

His friends, Austin, Rafael, Kolton, and Garrett are nice, they engage in conversations with you. The girls, April, Diana, and Alana didn’t bother you. They seemed to like you, always finding something to compliment you with. This group of friends was so much different than the one you were so familiar with. The pogues felt like a family, this one was separated into two, the boys and the girls. Everyone spoke to each other but you knew there was something deeper inside the group, a secret not everyone knew about.

You’ve mainly just been with Jayden and his friends, going to one of their house parties a couple of times. It wasn’t like the keggers but it did help you forget about the people you’d rather be with.

You were now getting ready to pick up Jayden to go to Rafael’s house, doing a light amount of makeup since you’ll be in his pool. You hear a knock on your door, you tell your mom she can come in. Your back is turned away from the door so when you hear it close followed by silence you look back. The person you didn’t expect to see was Sarah.

“Sarah… What are you.. What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Are you serious right now, Y/n?” Sarah said she is visibly angry.

You close your eyes and breathe out, once you opened them Sarah didn’t wait for a second to continue to speak.

“I haven’t seen you in almost two months. You haven’t texted me back in a week and a half to hang out with you and every time you do text back it’s some stupid excuse. I try calling you, Kie has tried calling you, hell, even John B has tried calling you to come over. I have to show up at your house unannounced and lie to your mom about being here and why she hasn’t seen me in so long. And your first words to me are asking me what I’m doing here?” she rants

You’re quiet. You don’t know what to say. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to solve this problem. Your silence only makes Sarah angrier.

“And Pope- he told us he saw you with some boy last week, apparently this is the second time he’s seen you with him. And not once did you even think to tell me. Is this what you’re doing? Are you just abandoning us for some random guy? Why aren’t you saying anything?!” her voice finally gets loud, she didn’t want your mom to worry but she wanted you to understand how she feels.

“Now, I’m not abandoning you guys. I’m just taking a break. You don’t get it alright” you say, getting up from your vanity and walking back and forth across your room.

“I don’t get it because you never told me anything. One day we were great, we put you and JJ on a boat and the next morning you never speak to me again. What happened on that boat?”

“JJ and I just had a bad argument. Instead of arguing, I’m just taking a break from him so we wouldn’t argue so much” it wasn’t the full truth, but it was something you could give her. Sarah stood silent to let you speak.

“If you were tired of the arguing imagine how I was. And as for the boy, I met him when Pope saw us the first time I’m guessing. But the second time, we had just started dating. We still are dating. I’m going out to see his friends now” 

Sarah was silent, trying to process everything you were saying. You, dating a guy you hadn’t known for long was unlike you.

“I’m fine Sarah. I’m doing good actually. I have a good boyfriend who is treating me right and his friends are treating me like they’ve known me longer than they’ve known him. You and the rest of the pogues can stop worrying about me now. I’ll be around soon but right now, I’m not ready yet”

Sarah sucked on her teeth, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing right now. You started putting on your shoes and started walking to the door, Sarah stepping in your way.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“I already told you, I’m going to my boyfriend’s friend’s house to hangout”

Sarah scoffed, “so you’re leaving this here, all for some people you barely even know? This isn’t like you, Y/n. Just talk to me and we could have this all figured out”

“I don’t want to talk right now Sarah and I promised Jayden I would be there today. I’m sorry for everything and I’m sorry for leaving right now but I have to go whether you like it or not.” 

You maneuvered around her and opened the door, walking out of your room and going down the stairs. “Y/n” Sarah called out, you looked back as she was slowly going down the stairs.

“If you need anything. Someone to laugh with, someone to gush about your new boyfriend too, someone to cry on their shoulder. I’m here” Sarah said, her voice shaky like she was about to cry. 

You walked to Sarah and hugged her tightly, tears streaming down both of your faces. You knew this wasn’t a goodbye, this wasn’t something where you would never see her again. It was more of a way of both of you saying you miss each other without actually saying you miss each other.

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” you whispered in her ear. Sarah nodded quickly after, “yeah, I’d like that” she laughed lightly, you laughing with her.

You separate from her and just look at her for a moment. You get the feeling to just ditch Jayden and stay with Sarah. Go back to the chateau and just hang out with everyone. You just tell everyone about the new people you met and make fun of them. You knew JJ would like it too, he had a thing for making fun of wealthy people.

But you didn’t.

You walked out of your front door, saying bye to Sarah and you drive to Jayden’s house. You waited for him to come out of his house and you looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes puffy, a sign you had been crying. But that didn’t matter, your only thoughts were of the pogues suddenly, your only thoughts were of him.

When Jayden showed up in your car and kissed your lips. He didn’t even question your state and just went straight to talking about nonsense. Talking about things you never really cared about. You would look at him occasionally. Just because you were admiring him. You only ever did that with him. But because you started to think did you really like Jayden, or was he some sort of distraction? 

You showed up at Rafael’s house, everyone already in some sort of bathing suit with a beer in their hand. You didn’t want one so once you settled down, you got into the pool. Conversations striking left and right. But you weren’t interested in them. Your mind always wandered to someplace else. You were like this the entire night.

You kept thinking about them and how happier you would be if you were there. Sarah’s words made you feel like you abandoned them. But JJ didn’t want you there. He didn’t like you being there. Then why do you keep thinking of him? Why are you imagining yourself with JJ, being a little too close if he didn’t like you? 

It’s a shame your mind is everywhere else but present. Maybe if your mind was where everyone else was you would notice the pity stares you’re getting right now. Maybe you would notice Diana getting close to Jayden. Maybe you would notice their whispering. But you didn’t. And every time you looked at him, he smiled back at you. 

You felt pity for him. From your perspective, you’re thinking of a different guy while you’re still with him. To you, he isn’t a bad boyfriend. To you, he deserves better. When you get up, he separates himself from Diana, and you walk over to him, sitting next to him. You kissed his cheek and then started to engage in the current conversation.

After you left Sarah went to the chateau, telling everyone what happened. She told them about how you have a new boyfriend named Jayden. She told them what you looked like. You looked normal but you didn’t look like yourself. She told them her suspicions. She told them she thinks you don’t even want to be with Jayden and that you don’t want to be with his friends either.

JJ heard it all. He wanted to go pick you up and take you back here with him. But who is he to you? The guy who made her push everyone away. The guy who made become friends with this random guy’s friends. He caused all of this. So why would you listen to him?

He was jealous when Sarah mentioned Jayden. He had been jealous when Pope had brung it up at first. He was the one who convinced the group that maybe the boy she gave her number to was just a friend. But the group knew he wasn’t, they just let JJ think he convinced them. JJ mainly convinced himself. He was jealous when Pope saw you and him again, “clinging onto each other” in Pope’s words. 

JJ knew he shouldn’t be jealous, he was the one that helped the guy. But there was still that part of him that couldn’t help being jealous.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You and Sarah slowly started to make up. You met up with her once since she showed up at your house three weeks ago. You spoke more about how you were doing, and how Jayden was, even showing pictures of him and all of his friends. Sarah did the same, talking about the pogues and about how much they missed you. She told you how JJ has been different since the boat. He was a lot quieter and a little calmer. It was getting harder and harder for him o want to go out, John B, Kie, and Pope doing all they could to even get him to surf. JJ loves surfing.

He didn’t even want to party anymore. Just wanted to stay in John B’s bed all day and sleep all day. It was different from the JJ you once knew.

Sometime after the meetup Sarah had convinced you to let Jayden meet her, baby steps she said. This was mainly so Sarah could get his vibe and report back to the pogues but she didn’t tell you that. She claimed it was because she wanted to warn him if he ever broke your heart.

Today was the day, Sarah had told you to meet up at the Wreck so all you had to do was get Jayden and meet her there. You had called and texted him with no response, something you’re getting used to lately because he keeps oversleeping. When he does you have to go to his room and wake him up so you knew that’s what you would most likely do today. You got ready and texted him you were on the way just in case he woke up in the middle of your driving.

You pulled to his house and walked in, already knowing the door was opened. You walked up the stairs and knocked on his door, once, twice. No response. You twisted the knob to see if he had locked it or not. But it was unlocked.

You walked in saying, “Jayden, we’re meant to be seeing Sarah today, can you wake-”

You stopped yourself. The sight in front of you makes you sick. You feel humiliated, embarrassed, angry, and lied to.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you say loudly, Jayden and Diana jumping awake.

Both of their eyes wide, “Wait wait wait wait. Baby, Baby-” Jayden started.

“Don’t you fucking baby me. How dare you? How dare you?!” You ask him.

Diana pulled the covers over her body, “Y/n, I’m so sorry I-” she started.

“Save it.” you kept your eyes on Jayden. “I can’t fucking believe this, how long has this been going on?”

The both of them were silent. “Fucking Answer me!” you yell.

“Since before I saw you at that place the first time” Jayden responded.

Your head felt dizzy. You couldn’t believe this. This was the secret this group was hiding. 

“Y/n, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t- It was an accident” Jayden said getting closer to you.

“An accident? An accident is spilling milk on the floor or tripping somewhere. This is no accident! You putting your dick inside her multiple times is not an accident!” you said getting angrier.

“I have needs baby, come on. We were together for a month and we never had sex. You don’t even send pics. I needed to release, baby. You understand that, don’t you?”

You were stunned. All of this was because he needed to fuck someone? He just needed a good lay? Is he fucking serious? Trying to blame you when he can’t keep his dick in his pants.

Although you didn’t feel an ounce of love for him. This still hurt you. No one likes being cheated on. 

“And to think I was gonna introduce you to my best friend today” tears started to stream down your face. 

“Y/n…” he says quietly, his arms open, taking a step closer. You step back.

“No. We’re done. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t even look at me!” you yell at him, tears still coming out of your eyes. Your eyes went to Diana, “and you. I liked you.” you scoffed. You walked out of his room, the tears trickling down to your clothes, messing your makeup up.

Once you get into your car and start driving to your house, you almost forgot to call Sarah. When you dial her number down she answers immediately, “I’m almost out the door right now-” she started, her voice cheerful as ever.

“Don’t even bother showing up. He’s a dick” you said, it was obvious you had been crying.

“Y/n, are you okay baby? What happened?” Sarah asked, worry in her voice.

You begin to cry again, even just saying the words make you sick.

“Jayden he- he was in bed with Diana,” you said, a cry following after you.

“Oh babe, I’ll be at your house in two seconds. I’ll be there” Sarah said, the sound of her front door closing.

“No, Sarah. I- Don’t come please, I-”

“I told you when you need a shoulder to cry on,  I’ll be there. I’m on my way now” she said hanging up.

She felt awful for you. She texted Kie about the change of plans, she was staying with you for the rest of the day. Jayden cheated on you.

Kie told John B, Pope, and JJ. Hearing you got cheated on made JJ’s blood boil. What was the point of being with you if he was gonna cheat? He couldn’t stay loyal for a month? JJ wanted to do something, anything. He was about to go to your house but Kie had reminded him Sarah would be there with you. 

That’s what stopped him. Knowing you had someone else there with you.

And you did.

Sarah showed up at your house and hugged you tighter than she’s ever hugged you before. You just cried and cried and cried on the poor girl. Sarah helped you clean your makeup off as she reminded you how beautiful you look. Sarah would look at her phone occasionally, it was mostly Kie telling her how worried JJ is and JJ texting her to see how you were holding up.

You told her everything, how Jayden first started to not wake up. Now looking back it was just him waking up Diana and getting her out before you could see her. Or maybe he hid her when you showed up. You didn’t care. You told her what happened at his friend’s house, how after Sarah spoke to you all, you thought about the pogues. All you thought about was how it would’ve been better if you were with them. 

You and Sarah at one point changed into pajamas, Sarah changing into the one she leaves behind. After several hours of crying, yelling, singing, and dancing. It was beginning to get late, your eyes were both tired from the crying but also tired because you were just exhausted.

Sarah held you in her arms, your mind begins to wander. 

“Do they know?” you ask quietly. Sarah knew exactly who you were talking about. She nodded.

“What did he say?” you ask even quieter. Sarah knew who you were talking about, but she wanted you to say it. “Who?” she asks. 

“JJ.” 

Sarah closes her eyes, holding you tighter. You were fully expecting her to say nothing, you were expecting her to say he didn’t care.

“He’s been worried sick. It’s kinda cute actually. Look” Sarah says, showing you her phone and the text messages JJ has sent.

You weren’t expecting so many texts asking how you were, if he could come over, how could he help, when she thinks you’ll be fine. Sarah just kept responding with you were getting there, that he shouldn’t come over, that he shouldn’t help, and that it takes time.

But every time JJ insisted on going over, he wanted to know your current status, he wanted to help. Once Sarah stopped answering, he kept texting the same messages as before. 

At the bottom of the screen, you see the familiar three dots. They disappeared for a second and a new message popped up. “I see you reading my texts. Answer them and let me come over Sarah.”

You smile, something Sarah hasn’t seen in a while. You close your eyes once Sarah takes her phone away.

“I know this isn’t the right time. But whatever he said on the boat, Y/n. He didn’t mean it.” Sarah says quietly, when you didn’t respond, she went on.

“You see he cares about you Y/n. And it isn’t my place to tell you. But you mean a lot to him, he just doesn’t know how to handle it sometimes”

You sighed.

“Goodnight, Sarah”

Sarah was quiet, getting the memo.

“Goodnight, Y/n”

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

It’s been quiet now. You’ve just been in your room. Like how you were after the boat. Sarah would come over every single day, even if it meant spending 30 minutes with you, she would come over. She would even sometimes bring Kie with her. 

And every time either of them would come over, their phone would always get a text ping. And every time you glanced at their phone. Even a little bit. It always said either JJ or JJ Maybank.

You’ve been moping around, Sarah was starting to feel bad, summer was about to end and John B had suggested throwing a kegger a few days ago, JJ was not really into the idea. He also said this could be an opportunity to try to get you back with the pogues. Once John B said that JJ was down.

So after Sarah was at the chateau and went to your house to just hang out, she had brought some clothes over so she could leave to the kegger after your house. But she wanted you to join her. 

As she was getting ready in your room, you were snuggled up in your bed, watching her mumble some song lyrics that were playing in your room. Sarah always looked pretty, but she would always outdo herself when it comes to parties. She loved going to them and she loved the thrill of being at them. The adrenaline rushes you get and the energy that everyone has bounces off each other.

“You should come,” Sarah said, sending you out of your trace.

“What?”

“You should come. You haven’t been to a party in forever” she looked back at you.

“That isn’t true. Remember I would go to Jayden’s friend’s parties” you remind her, she rolled her eyes at the name of Jayden.

“Yeah, but those don’t count. I mean you haven’t been to a party with me in forever. If you don’t come right, you’ll have a shitty summer”

“This summer has already been shit.” you roll your eyes. Sarah walked to the side of your bed and pouted.

“I would be really happy if you came Y/n. I miss you”

You laugh, “I’m right here. You saw me yesterday and the day before that and the day before that you even brought Kie.”

“I miss the fun you have.”

You stood silent. The words hurt. Not because Sarah said it in a mean way, but because she was true. You haven’t been having fun, with anyone. You were different. More bland and private. Sarah used to be able to read you completely. Now you built a wall, so thick and so high that she hasn’t been able to break through it.

“Y/n,” Sarah says quietly, looking at you in your eyes. “What did JJ say on the boat?”

Your eyes leave hers. You didn’t want to tell her. You don’t want to. You didn’t want her to think of JJ differently. You didn’t want her to hate her boyfriend’s best friend. But god did you need to get it off of your chest.

“Just promise you won’t think of him differently” Sarah nodded.

“I said promise, Sarah,” you said, your voice stern.

Sarah was confused at the change of tone, “I promise I won’t think of him differently. And I won’t hate him”

You looked at her and nodded.

“After you guys left us, we didn’t talk. I was waiting for him to talk to me. Then the sun started to set and my phone had died, I thought to make a peace offering, I could give him our stash since you guys didn’t leave us food.” 

“I told John B you guys needed something but continue”

You smiled at her for a second. “Let me just say, JJ was pissed that you guys left us alone. Like he was distraught, more so than me. And I only know that because was on the edge of where you guys left us, looking in the direction you left in. But I tried to give him the chips and talk to him but he just refused. We started arguing per usual but this time he just seemed angrier. He was saying things about how I chose to be friends with the pogues and how I could’ve been friends with kooks. He then went on to say how none of you guys liked hanging out with me and gave me reasons why you put up with me”

Sarah’s heart dropped. She knew JJ, and she knew that wasn’t like JJ. She knew what she was going to do at the party.

“I know now, he’s just an idiot and wasn’t thinking before he spoke. He was just upset. He even apologized after he said it, and tried apologizing the morning after. And I don’t fully forgive him. But hearing what he was saying hurt Sarah, terribly. At that moment I thought they were true. So I told him I wouldn��t be around you guys anymore, and I wasn’t around you guys.” 

“Can I hug you?”

You nodded, Sarah getting closer to you as you both wrapped your arms around each other. “I’m so sorry that happened. None of what he said is true. I’ll talk to him tonight”

“No, don’t.” You cut her off. Sarah separated herself, confused. “I just.. I don’t want him to be mad that I told someone. I don’t want him to hate me more than he does”

Sarah laughed, “he doesn’t hate you, Y/n. He never did. He just needed to find a reason to hate you. But since you don’t want me to talk about him, I won’t.” She lied. Of course, she was going to tell him. She knew he wouldn’t be upset, but even if he did, she wouldn’t have cared.

“Thanks” you smiled at her. Sarah smiled and got up from the bed, going to your closet. Your brows knit together. “What are you doing?”

“I’m picking out your outfit for the kegger”

You sat up from your bed, “Who said I was going?”

“I did” Sarah smiled.

“Sarah, I don’t have an outfit, my hair isn’t done, and it’ll take me too long to get ready. I can’t go”

Sarah pulled out a short black dress you had stuffed in your closet long ago. “You have an outfit, I can do your hair and makeup. It’ll be quiet” Sarah said a devilish smile on her face.

“What about my mom?”

“Y/n, you walk out of your house all the time. What’s stopping you now? Just come to the kegger.”

“What if Jayden’s there?”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “he’s not gonna be there, and if he is fuck him. Show him what he cheated on. He’s a loser anyone so it shouldn’t matter if he was there or not.”

You thought about it. A smile crept on your face. You nodded and Sarah squealed loudly. She pulled you out of bed and sat you down on your vanity. She pulled your hair down and quickly went to work, taming the beast you developed over time. Not long after she started to do your makeup, telling you how excited she was you were going. Giggling at just the thought before everything started. She told you how excited Pope and John B were gonna be, she even included JJ in it.

Once she was done with your makeup you got changed in your bathroom, once you were in the dress you looked at yourself in the mirror. You knew you were gonna get clod but who cares? You looked more like yourself than you did when you were with Jayden. You liked how you looked, Sarah did a good job making it look like it took hours to get ready. 

“Are you gonna come out or stay locked up in your bathroom forever?” Sarah called out from the outside. You laughed and opened the door, her mouth opening the minute she saw you. “You look so hot!” she squealed loudly.

“I feel like it too,” you say, Sarah, laughing.

“This is so exciting. I can’t wait to get you drunk” Sarah giggled.

“No way, I’m the DD. I agreed to go, you have to agree with me now” 

Sarah pouted and gave you puppy eyes. “That may work on John b, but it doesn’t work on me. So give me your keys, I’m driving and let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

Sarah smirked, “don’t make me makeout with you right now,” she said, you both laughed, and eventually Sarah gave you the car keys as you both got into the car.

Sarah was controlling the music the whole time while you were driving to the beach. She was yelling and screaming every lyric to every song she played. Her voice just never got tired and it made you laugh the entire time. You joined her for a couple of songs, but you mainly enjoyed the show. You missed this.

When you parked the car Sarah got out after seeing her boyfriend from the window. She smiled at the way she clung onto him like he was her lifeline. You wished you had something like that, but the last thing you needed right now was boy troubles.

You locked the door and walked up to where Sarah was, who was just with the pogues, except JJ. When you showed up John B and Pope’s eyes lit up. Pope hugged you immediately, “God I missed you. I was starting to lose brain cells with these guys,” he said. You just laughed. “Long time no see,” John B said.

“Yeah, Long time no see. Missed you guys” You respond, John B awes you and hugs you.

“Can we please share her? I need to hug her too” Kie said. 

“You saw her two days ago. I haven’t seen her in almost three months” John B defended himself, still keeping you close.

Kie pulled John B away from you and hugged you gently, “Are you back now?” she asked. The rest of the pogues behind Kie waiting for an answer. You roll your eyes playfully, “since you insist” you say.

They cheer, everyone now excited to have you around again. John B gets you a cup filled with some liquor, “I’m the DD tonight, can’t” you respond.

“But it’s your first night back” Kie pleaded with you.

“I know, but I want to make sure everyone is okay for the night. Next one I’ll drink” you promised them. The pogues nodded and John B took whatever was inside the cup for you.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and catching up. You and Kie finally talk about what happened since you were gone, bringing up the fact that JJ was different. 

“Where is he anyway?” you asked.

“He was here before you showed up, probably off with some girl” Kie responded, going back to how everything was.

You felt a pang in your heart with the thought of him with someone else. This wasn’t the first time you felt that pang when someone mentioned JJ with a girl. But there wasn’t much you could do about it. So you chose to do what you always did, ignored it.

You spoke to John B about Sarah, and how much she missed you while you were gone. But when she started going over to your house every day that she was happier than ever. He acknowledged what happened with Jayden and said he was sorry for what happened. John B always felt like a brother to you, so it was no surprise that your heart grew warm when he felt bad. You told him not to worry about it and to just focus on Sarah tonight and have fun.

You then moved on to Pope who had, so many things to tell you. He was never a big drinker so he was soberer than you are you thought. He told you all of his thoughts and theories he had when you were away. He was giving you updates about schools and such and explained he missed having deep, thoughtful conversations with you. Out of the corner of your eye though, you saw a girl looking at him. You whispered it into his ear and when he looked she blushed. You took that as a sign to find Sarah as you told him to shoot his shot.

You went looking for a certain blond. You hadn’t seen him the entire time you were there and you were beginning to think he left at some point. Sarah found you first though, so when she saw you, she pulled you and started to dance with you. You could tell Sarah was already drunk but you didn’t mind it, the whole point of the kegger was to get drunk and have fun.

You’ve been at the kegger for a couple of hours now, talking to other people, meeting the last of the tourins that were the last on the island. You were enjoying yourself, completely sober, and still having a good time. 

But then you saw him. 

Hanging out with his friends. Pointing at you and looking back at his friends. You were gonna ignore him, he didn’t deserve your time of day. Once the laughing got louder you chose to try to walk away. You didn’t want to start something at the kegger, not after everything you’ve been this summer already.

But once you started to walk away, someone bed your arm. You quickly turn around and it’s April. Jayden’s other girl friend, or maybe someone else he was sleeping with.

“Y/n, where’d you go? Come join us” April said.

You shook your head quickly, “I’m sorry April. I have to get back to my friends” you say, putting your hand on top of her’s so she could let go. 

“We just wanted to talk to you, it’ll take five minutes. Tops.” April smiled, you were cautious. You looked around the kegger for any sign of your friends so you could get out of this situation. But you couldn’t find one, not even Sarah who had been dancing the whole night. When you looked back you were already being dragged back to April and the rest of Jayden’s friends.

“Y/n!” Kolton called out, you awkwardly smiled. He was standing in between his friends, looking at you up and down. Smirking.

“We haven’t seen you in forever. Just because Jayden was fucking Diana doesn’t mean you should ditch us” Austin slurred, the rest of them laughing with him.

“Hey could you guys make this quick, I have to be with my friends,” you tell them, visibly uncomfortable.

“Your friends that you left? That you replaced?” Alana started, “if they were your friends you wouldn’t have replaced them. Stay here with us” you looked at Jayden since he was the only person who knew about the pogues, he didn’t know why you left them, just the fact that you spaced yourself from them.

“I’m sorry if you guys aren’t gonna say something worth my time, I’ll get going,” you say, beginning to walk away. But Jayden had grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t worry about them, I just wanted to talk to you. We’re all drunk” Jayden confessed, the rest of them laughing. You tried to pull your wrist away but he kept his hold on it.

“I just wanted to talk to you.” He repeats, one of his hands caressing your cheek, the other still on your wrist. You moved your face away from his touch.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Jayden”

He scoffed. “You don’t want to talk to me? Why? Because I was fucking someone behind your back?” he laughed. “It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I mean it doesn’t seem like it is now. You’re at a party, dancing like a slut. Talking to other guys” 

Your eyes widened at his words. He probably won’t even remember this in the morning. You didn’t care about him, you never loved him, and he was just your boyfriend for a little over a month. You shouldn’t even count that as a relationship.

But if he didn’t matter, why are his words making you upset?

“I should’ve guessed you liked being thrown around. If I did I could’ve given my boys a chance. Right guys?” he asked his friends

“You know I was already asking for it,” Rafael said.

“I don’t like used-up whores” Kolton responded with bitterness in his voice. His friends laughed at his comment.

“Come on, compared to April? It’ll be an upgrade” Garrett said.

“She’s been used up. I should know. And every other guy here knows it too” Jayden continues.

“Didn’t you say you were fucking Diana because I wasn’t giving it up to you? Retracing your words?” you remind him. Jayden smiles.

“That’s what was my favorite thing about you. You were always so feisty. It’s kinda turning me on now” he said getting closer. 

Your fight or flight kicks in finally, and you try to get his hand on your wrist. “Let go of me” you mumbled to him. His friends around him are saying awful things about it. Calling you a slut, a whore, ugly, dry, used up, fake, annoying. Everything in the books.

“Come on, Y/n. One last time” Jayden said, his lips getting close to yours. But you slap him just before he could. He was holding the side of his face with both of his hands, your wrists finally free.

“Leave me the fuck alone and get the fuck off the island,” You said sternly, you walked away from them and went straight to where the drinks were. 

Their words to you shouldn’t matter, they don’t matter to you. Just some random people you knew for a month at most. Then why are you washing down their insults with drinks? You were taking shots, anyone that handed you a drink, you took, you even made your own. With the alcohol in your system, you forgot everything they said, you forgot everything that happened over the summer. It didn’t matter anymore, you were having fun.

JJ had been watching you from the minute you showed up, from afar obviously. He could tell you were looking for him at some points, but he didn’t have the guts to go up to you. So he just stood watching. 

Usually, JJ would have a drink, but he didn’t have one. You may hate him and he saw that you weren’t drinking but he just wanted to make sure you were okay. He saw the way you spoke to John B, Kie, Pope, he saw the way you danced with Sarah. You looked like you needed this break from the world. He saw you speaking to some old friends and saw you speak with some new ones, but you looked okay.

He saw someone walk up to you, a very drunk girl. He saw you look around but you end up being pulled away. JJ is about to walk up to you but someone else gets his attention.

“JJ!” Sarah calls, sloppily walking over to him, JJ meets her halfway and laughs, his back now facing where you were. 

“Sarah, how much have you had to drink?” JJ asked, still laughing.

“Not enough, but that isn’t why I came over here. I wanted to talk to you about Y/n” she slurred her words, but JJ understood every word. His face became serious when your name was mentioned.

“She told me what happened on the boat. And I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I really like you.” Sarah says, “but I know you like Y/n”

JJ’s face turned pink, he felt blessed that it was night and Sarah wasn’t able to see that well. “What? Where’d you get that idea” he asked her.

“You’re always asking for her JJ. You’re always looking for her, even before the boat thing. I want you to know I get it, you have abandonment issues. So do I, look at my mom. But I don’t want those issues to define who you are and how you are around people” Sarah’s words are combined, but JJ is listening. “I know you like her. I know you think you shouldn’t be with her. I think the same thing with John B. But you know what I do? I show him more love and affection than he’s ever had before.”

Sarah pauses to catch her breath, drinking what’s in her red solo cup. “And she doesn’t hate you. She never has hated you. I always told John B that you two would look so cute together. And you guys would. But I need you to be better to her, JJ. I need you to forget about your issues for a second and show her who you truly are.” she ranted, “If you want her, you’re gonna have to work harder than before, But it’ll be worth it because she’s worth it. You need to fight for her. She likes you too JJ. That’s why she took your words so seriously. Cause your opinion matters to her more than John B’s or Pope’s or Kie’s. Maybe even mine” Sarah laughed at the last sentence. “So be kind to her, show her how you truly feel about her, and make sure you love her more than she loves you. Because of you don’t, I’ll break your neck” she laughed even louder than before.

JJ was thinking about her words, and even though she was drunk, she wasn’t wrong. JJ has always liked you, he thinks he always will like you. JJ was always a player but when you showed up, he got worse because of it. It came to the point where he imagined you instead of the girl he was actually with. 

John B came over and put his arm around Sarah, “what’s happening over here?” he laughs, sipping his drink now too. John B is now drunk, to be expected.

“I was just telling JJ that he should be with Y/n and that he likes her and that she likes him back” Sarah filled him in, and John B’s mouth opened.

“Dude, I’ve been saying for like ever. It came to the point where I thought you were in love with her” John B laughs, “and she likes you back”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Sarah said loudly, both her and her boyfriend now laughing.

“Then when they start dating we can go on double dates. We’ll be so cute, all of us” Sarah commented. 

“Just go for it. I know she means a lot to you, she always had.” John B said.

“Do I mean a lot to you?” Sarah asked him.

“Of course baby. I love you” John B said.

“I love you too,” Sarah said, their lips then locked on each, making out in front of JJ. 

He internally threw up in his mouth and turned around, but when he looked back he didn’t see you anymore. His eyes scattered everywhere and he couldn’t find you. He saw the new friends you made, he saw the mini bar, he saw some kooks, he saw a guy with his friends holding his face, he saw where you danced earlier.

JJ decided to make himself be seen, he saw Kie who was talking to some girl about ocean stuff. Kie also being drunk.

“Hey, have you seen Y/n?” JJ asked

“No, but she was looking for you earlier. Did you see her earlier she was looking so hot” Kie confessed. 

“Yeah, she was. If you see her, tell me” JJ said moving along to Pope.

“Hey man, I haven’t seen you in a while,” Pope said, clearly sober as day.

“Yeah, just been watching. Have you seen Y/n?”

Pope shook his head, “last time I saw her she was taking shots with some guys. When I went up to her she gave me Sarah’s keys.” he said holding them out.

JJ nodded, he took out the keys to the twinkie, “here, take these. You’ll drive John B and Sarah home tonight. I’ll take Kie and Y/n” 

Pope nodded to the new plan, the two of them traded keys and JJ walked away. He was now looking for you. He started to ask random people if they saw you, everyone saying something different.

Forty-five minutes had passed since he spoke to Pope and he still hasn’t found you. It was 3 AM and the kegger was still alive as ever. JJ was looking for you everywhere and he couldn’t find the girl who last spoke to you. Once JJ walked further down the beach, he then saw a familiar pretty girl in a familiar pretty black dress.

You were wobbling all over the place, talking to some random guy about your problems. Your words were slurring worst than Sarah’s who you saw ten minutes okay. But you then hear a familiar voice.

“Y/n?” he says.

You turn around and there he is. You excuse yourself from the guy, and cling to him “JJ!” you say excitingly.

JJ was so confused, the last time he saw you, you were stone-cold sober. Now he’s seeing you towards the water, wobbling around, talking to the air, and excusing yourself from the same air to hug him tightly. 

“I missed you so much,” you say to him, your head in his chest. You were way too drunk for him to try to stall to wait for Kie. He decided he would take you home right there, Pope could take Kie with him.

“Hey, we’re gonna go home okay?” 

All you do was nod, separate yourself from him, and start walking with him, wobbling next to him. JJ noticed it immediately and held onto you, his hand on your side to pull you close to him, your arm around his shoulders. 

JJ began to look for Pope who he found quickly, he raised his eyebrows and looked at you. Pope got the memo and nodded, now watching Kie. Once JJ knew he walked to Sarah’s car, you were babbling the whole way there. And once you got to the car you were silent, JJ opened the backseat so you could lie down.

He made sure you were comfortable and secure, once he knew you were he went in the driver’s seat. The minute he started driving, you started to speak up again.

“Where are we going?” you ask.

“I’m dropping you off home,” JJ said.

“No no no no no. I don’t want to go home. I want to go to John B’s house. Where you stay”

“Are you sure? I could take you to your hou-”

“No!” you demanded, “Alright, calm down,” JJ said.

“Hey, next one’s on me” 

“Whatever you say, cupcake”

You laughed quietly in the back, then it slowly became louder. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“So you know about Jayden right? The guy that cheated on me? Well, he was the keeger and his friends were saying so many things to me. Like really mean things, and so was he. But tonight I-” you cut yourself off with your laughter. “I slapped him” you laughed even louder than before.

JJ stood silent, letting you speak longer. “It was so funny, you should’ve seen his face. You should’ve been there,” you said then you were quiet for a while. “Why weren’t you there?” you asked quietly.

JJ looked at you through his top mirror and then looked back at the road. He cleared his throat, “I was there” he responded.

“No, you weren’t. I kept looking for you and looking for you and I couldn’t find you. I thought you were with a girl. Were you?”

“No, I was watching you”

“Like a stalker?”

JJ was silent. Now that you say it like that it sounded creepy. He was just looking out for you but that’s something else a stalker would say. The more he thought about it the more it made him uncomfortable, but you sent him out of his trance with you giggling.

“JJ Maybank is my stalker” you giggled to yourself. JJ stood quiet letting you have your moment.

“Jayden was so boring anyway, I was out of his league anyway.” 

“You sure are” 

“You haven’t even seen him and you’re agreeing. That’s how you know I’m right” JJ laughed at your drunken state. Your words slurring together and the way you’re trying so hard to form a sentence is so cute to him.

“He just wanted to hangout with his boring friends all the time. And I always had to take him because he didn’t know how to drive” you laughed. “Do you know how I found out he cheated on me? We were meant to meet Sarah and then when I got to his house, I found him in bed with his girl space friend. Might as well be his actual girlfriend for how long they were fucking each other, it started before he and I started dating, which wasn’t long but still. And you know what excuse he gave? Because we never had sex, isn’t that childish?” You ranted.

JJ has only ever heard what Sarah has told him, so hearing you say how it went, made JJ upset. More than upset. It felt like when he first heard you got cheated on. He never found out why he cheated on you, but now that he does, he’s angry about it. He cheated on you because he needed to fuck someone and you weren’t willing? He’s a fucking idiot he thought. “You wouldn’t do that, would you JJ?” you ask him.

“No, not to you”

“Not to me or in general?”

“Both,” he said.

You and JJ stood silent. 

“JJ do you hate me?” you ask.

He looks at you through the mirror again, “I could never hate you, Y/n”

“Are you mad at me?

JJ was quiet for a moment, “no. Never.”

You giggled, “you know what I realized, his name is Jayden, and your name is JJ. Isn’t that funny?” you laughed. “What’s even funnier is how you both have the same basic features. His hair is almost blond and he has blue eyes too” 

JJ tilted his head to the side slightly after hearing the news. He thinks he knows who you’re talking about, mainly because he thinks he’s seen him at the wreck with some girl.

“But don’t worry JJ. You’re my favorite blue-eyed person. I can’t say blond because of Sarah. But you’re my favorite guy with blond hair”

JJ smiled, “thanks Y/n. You’re my favorite too” 

He pulls up to the chateau, once he puts the car in park and grabs the keys, he’s already going straight to the back. He scootches you closer to him so he could pick you up instead of making you walk, and he does.

You grab on around JJ’s neck as he carries you bridal style into the chateau and into the room he usually sleeps in. JJ places you on the bed and takes out a pair of sweatpants for you to wear. 

“I know you’re wearing a dress. Put these on, I’ll be right outside the door, and tell me when I could come in” JJ said, leaving you with the sweatpants. When he’s out he hears some groans and mumbles, but nothing too serious. He grabs a bucket and fills it with a little bit of water, a rag, and makeup wipes that Sarah had left, waiting at the door for you.

You open the door to let him back in and when JJ looks at you, you’re not only in his sweatpants but in his shirt, when he wants in he sees the discarded dress on the floor. “This is for you, you could take it off in the bathroom,” JJ said, handing you the makeup wipes.

You look at him in awe. Like he just hung the moon and the stars. And maybe in your drunken state, he did. You take the wipes and went to the bathroom closing the door behind you. JJ places the bucket close to the bed just in case you have an accident in the middle of the night and he isn’t there.

He takes his extra time to change into the same attire as you, a shirt with sweatpants. Usually, he wouldn’t have a shirt but, out of being a gentleman, he will tonight.

You walk out of the bathroom and hand him back the wipes, climbing into bed. JJ puts them away and goes back to you, crouching down so you could be at your level. “I’m gonna sleep on the sofa bed, when Kie gets here she can sleep in here with you. If you need anything just wake me up. I left a bucket f-” JJ was cut off.

But he wasn’t cut off by your words, or by the pogues coming home. He was cut off by a kiss, a kiss you gave him. It was unlike you. JJ was stunned for a moment, but his body moved as in instinct. Your lips were soft and warm. He can taste the alcohol from your lips. If it was any other situation, he would’ve deepened the kiss, grabbing your face. Pulling you closer so your bodies could collide with each other. He would’ve shown you how long he had been waiting and hungry for it but he didn’t think he deserved it. 

But he pulls away from you. When he does, he rests his forehead against yours, and you’re pouting at him. Disappointed in him. “Did I do something wrong?” you ask, sounding like you were about to cry.

“No, baby. No No. I just-” he was thinking of the right words to say. “You’re drunk, Y/n. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret or forget about in the morning”

“But I won’t regret or forget about it J.” You tell him. 

JJ doesn’t know how to respond to that. The only thing he knows how to do is to kiss your cheek to keep you satisfied, which it does. He stands up straight.

“If I were sober, would you have kissed me back?” you giggled. You knew the answer, you just wanted him to say it. JJ rolled his eyes playfully, walking to the door. “Wait where are you going?” you sat up from the bed. 

“I told you I’ll sleep on the couch” 

“Stay here”

JJ looks between you and the door. “Y/n, I don’t think I-”

“Please.”

You flashed your puppy eyes at him, your first time doing it to him. He never understood how you were able to get whatever with it. But now he does. 

He sighs and slowly walks to the bed, slipping under the covers next to you. He feels the heat you’ve gained from under the blanket, he also feels you relax. Once he’s laying down, you wrap your arms around him, leaving a hand on top of his chest. JJ relaxes and puts an arm around your shoulders, keeping you close. His closes for a second, but once you move your hand on top of his chest slightly, he opens them again.

He notices the black and blue mark around your wrist, “Y/n” he whispers. You hum in response, too tired to answer anything anymore. “Who did that to your wrist?”

Your breathing pauses for a beat or two but continues soon after. “Jayden,” you said quietly. “And why did he do that?” he continues to speak in whispers, but you hum back at him. “You can tell me, baby. Why did he make a bruise on your wrist?” he asked, closing his eyes and leaning his head against yours.

You breathed in and out, “He and his friends were saying things about me. Calling me a slut, commenting on my dress, and who I was with. Telling me how easy I was, just saying mean things to me. When I tried to he wouldn’t let go after I told him to. He just kept talking and I think he was about to kiss me. But once I slapped him he let go though. And I left after that J.” 

“And then you got drunk afterward?”

You hum, JJ is quiet. “Are you mad at me?”

JJ shakes his head lightly, “no. Never.”

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

JJ had woken up twice. 

The first time was very early in the morning, and you were still in each other’s arms. You holding onto him especially tight. He had opened his eyes and once he saw you, he went back to sleep.

And again in the afternoon. The chateau was quiet, he knew everyone was sleeping. He noticed that the warm body that was next to him was no longer next to him. He wouldn’t be lying if he said he wasn’t upset you were no longer next to him. But he reminds himself you couldn’t have gone far, you didn’t have a car and you’re most definitely hungover.

JJ got up from the bed, rubbed his eyes, and made his way out of the familiar room, his dress still on the floor as he passed by it. He walks out of the room quietly and slowly, Pope sleeping in a small chair and Kie sleeping on the couch. He looks out the door and sees a familiar someone, the person he wanted to see when he woke up. 

When he walked out of the house you were sitting on the edge of the dock, the hms pogue boat on your right. You hadn’t noticed a new person was there with you until the wood you were sitting on started to make noise, it didn’t take a genius to know it was him. 

He stood standing as you were still sitting in his sweatpants and shirt. It was silent for a minute, a silence that made you both want to rip off your skin. But you didn’t. Because he broke the silence.

“Hey”

That’s all he said, after everything, last night all he had to say was hey. 

“Hi,” you said quietly.

“How are you holding up?”

“Other than a major migraine and a bucket full of embarrassment. I’m peachy”

JJ smiled a bit, he’s happy you were able to see it though. “Do you remember anything that happened last night? You got drunk pretty quickly”

“Yeah I remember” JJ stood quiet for a minute. He wanted to make you remember everything that happened last night. From when you first started drinking to when you asked him to stay in bed with you. 

“Everything?” He asked quietly.

You knew what he was talking about. The kiss.

You looked back at him and looked up to look at hin the eyes, “everything.”

JJ breathes in and out quietly, you turn back to the water. “Do you remember how excited everyone was to see you?” You smiled at the reminder. The smiles on their faces. You nodded in response. “They really missed you. I’m sure you already know that, they most likely told you. Does this mean you’re staying?”

You sighed. You didn’t know what you were gonna do. You planned on staying last night, but now with this thing with JJ. The boundaries you crossed. You don’t think you’ll ever be his friend after this, you’ll always feel that feeling of something more, little did you know so would he.

“I don’t know” you answered truthfully. 

JJ stood up straighter, he was confused. You were having so much fun last night, it looked so natural to you. The thought of you not coming back and his friends being upset again crushed him.

“What do you mean? I thought you were gonna back up”

“Things have changed JJ, especially now. I don’t think I can put myself through it, not again”

“Y/n, our fighting isn’t going to happen again. They need you around. You don’t understand what it was like when you were gone.”

You scoffed at that. You didn’t understand what you were going through. He doesn’t understand what you went through.

“I went through the same thing as they did, if not worse.”

“You aren’t seriously comparing the two are you?”

You stood up from the edge of the dock, you turned to face him. “I am because you don’t get to tell me what they felt when I had to deal with the guilt of leaving.”

“And you’re willing to feel that guilt again?” You scoffed at his words, beginning to walk past him. “I can’t tell you what to do but I can encourage you to stay. They want you around Y/n, they need you around” he went on to say, you continued to walk away.

“I need you around”

You stopped. You felt so many emotions. There was a part of you that wanted to run back to him and smother him with kisses. The other half of you wanted to yell and scream in his face for how he treated you.

So you listened to that other half.

You turned around quickly and looked like you were on a mission. “That’s real funny of you JJ because three months ago you wanted nothing to do with me. Now you say you need. Do you need me to be around you? If you need someone around you don’t treat them like shit and that’s exactly what you did to me.” 

“Y/n, listen-”

“No, you listen!” you yelled, not caring if the pogues woke up and see you yelling at him. “I was nothing but nice to you and you treated me like I was trash. Like I wasn’t there like I didn’t exist. Like I didn’t matter. But now. Now! I matter. After I kiss you when I’m drunk, I matter!” 

JJ was silent. You had every right to yell at him, he did this. He made you like this. He understands how the switch-up confuses you. He knows he deserves every second of this, this is something he’s willing to take. So he just lets it happen.

“You remember when I asked you why you hated me? Do you? And you always told me that it was because I was a kook. What about now? Does it still matter I’m still a kook? Or does it just go away?! Tell me JJ. Does it just go away?!” you push his chest. 

“I had to leave my friends because of you! I got into a relationship to forget the feeling! To forget the thought that I abandoned them! And you did that! You made me abandon my friends! It’s not fair how you made me leave them and now you’re telling me they want me back. That you need me back!” You look up at him and all you see are his sad blue eyes.

You push his chest again, and again, and again, and again. There were tears quickly coming down your face, and you were yelling at him. Telling him how it wasn’t fair. Telling him he’s a dickhead. Telling him how you hate how he makes you feel. Telling him how you feel right now.

JJ wrapped his arms around you as you tried to keep pushing. Stopping once he was too close so you just sobbed into him, wrapping your arms around him too. JJ kept kissing the top of your head, trying to soothe you and call you down. He just wanted to be with you.

You hated him right now. Sometimes people say things out of anger. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean. But not you. You meant every word. And you wanted to make sure he knew you meant it, and he did know. 

You did feel like it was unfair. You knew he was a dickhead. You felt angry. And you did hate how he makes you feel. You want to fully hate him. But you can’t, even if you try to convince yourself, you can’t. 

Once you calmed down, JJ pulled away slightly, but you held him closer. You didn’t want to let him go you didn’t want to go back to how you were before. You didn’t want to go back to reality. You wanted to stay here, clinging onto him, and not thinking about anything else.

But once JJ tried to slip away again, you knew it wasn’t possible. 

He looked at you, but you weren’t looking back at him, staring at the floor. JJ lifted your chin to look at him. Once you did he wiggled his other hand to wrap it around your hand. He held your hand so gently, but he still had a good grip on you. 

“I’m so sorry for everything. For the way, I treated you over the years, for the words I’ve said to you. I’m sorry for what I said on the boat. I’m sorry for making you leave us. I’m sorry for not being there for you when I should’ve been. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t there like you didn’t exist like you didn’t matter. Because you do matter. You matter to me. You always have” 

There were tears still streaming down your face, but now JJ was matching you. He didn’t realize he was crying until the droplet was hanging from his face. 

“You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean JJ,” you said quietly.

“But I do mean them. I mean all of them.” 

“JJ-” 

He kisses you. His hand is on the side of your side to keep you close. He was gentle with you, but you felt the hunger from his lips. You felt the longing and felt how bad he wanted this, needed this even. It wasn’t sloppy like last night, it wasn’t a chance he took. It was passionate. It was hard. It was perfect.

He was so warm. He smelled like leftover cologne and wood. JJ’s eyes were closed. His nose was brushing against your’s but you didn’t mind it. His lips feel smooth and it was obvious JJ was a good kisser. He wasn’t rough with you, he wanted you to feel it this time. 

For the first second and a half, you stopped breathing. But you eventually kissed him back, closing your eyes with him. Your hands were on his face and his neck and once he felt you kiss back the hand that once held yours was holding your waist, pulling you close. 

His mind fogged up with just you. Only you. Nothing and no one else, just you. All those hookups meant nothing because right now you’re with him. All those years of yearning for you finally came true.

Your mind fogged up with just him. You’ve always liked JJ, maybe you even loved him. But all the memories from before came rushing back. All of them. 

You pulled back, JJ following you. But then he couldn’t follow you anymore. You both were breathing heavily. Again, his forehead leaning against yours. 

“J,” you said, your voice breathy.

JJ doesn’t respond, waiting for you to finish.

“I have to go,” you say.

His heart dropped. He knew what you meant. He knew what you were trying to stay. He doesn’t want you to go, he doesn’t want you to leave him. 

“No… Stay”

“I have to go, J” stepping away from him, looking into his eyes.

“You asked me last night if you were sober and if I would’ve kissed you back. And I would have. I would’ve kissed you at the kegger. I would’ve kissed you on the boat. I would’ve kissed you at the chateau. I would’ve kissed you when I first met you. Please don’t go”

“I can’t J.” your hands leave him.

“Let me take you home at least, please Y/n.” he pleaded with you.

You shook your head at him. “I can’t let you do that J,” you said

“Why not?”

“Cause then I’ll stay here,” you said softly.

JJ just sighed, looking up at the sky for a second, his eyes getting watery again. He then looked at the ground to avoid eye contact with him.

“I’m taking Sarah’s keys. When she wakes up if you could tell her”

JJ never responded, just silently crying, looking at the ground. You walked towards him and grabbed ahold of his wrist and shoulder to keep your balance. JJ saw the bruise around your wrist again. And you kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you around JJ” you whispered.

You then walked back into the chateau, you were crying too now. You just kept wiping your tears when you walked inside the chateau. You grabbed the car keys and quickly walked out, looking at JJ one last time.

He was crouched down, his arms folded and his head on them. He would move slightly. He was sobbing.

You looked away and got into Sarah’s car, starting it and driving away from him. 

Much to JJ’s unlucky life, the pogues had seen and watched the scene. When you walked in Kie and Pope pretended to still be asleep but you didn’t even glance at them. JJ was out on the dock for an hour before he wiped his tears and went back inside the chateau. When he walked in, the pogues all looked at him. 

He didn’t want to deal with them and their questions right now so he just went back to the room you slept in and locked the door behind him. He went into bed, your scent still engraved in the sheets even when you weren’t there for long. When he sat up from the bed, he saw your dress in the corner of the room.

JJ closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. Wanting nothing more than to just have you with him again.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

Now and again you would go back to the chateau but only went JJ wasn’t around. Usually, he was working and Sarah would promise you he wouldn’t be there for a while. You would go in your car and just hang out with them like you used to. You even had a chance to surf with them. 

But when he came back, before he could even see you, you would quickly say your goodbyes and leave in your car. That’s the only reason why you would bring your car, it was so you could make a quick exit. 

Fortunately for you, the pogues never pestered you with questions. They never asked why you were avoiding JJ. It seemed like they were just happy to have you around. But you felt the absence when you were there. There was a missing piece.

Unfortunately for JJ, they always asked him questions. Every time they saw him they asked him why you were avoiding him. He would simply say, “you guys saw what happened. I don’t know” and then go to the room he stood in.

They wanted you both back together but the boat idea was out of the question, and that ruined everything for everyone. So they didn’t know what they were going to do now.

Today JJ was with the pogues at the wreck, helping Kie do her job. John B’s keys with her mom and Sarah’s phone with her dad so they couldn’t get distracted. But now they were just taking a break, all of them outside of the wreck. Talking about nonsense.

A car full of people pulled up to the parking lot. They were extremely loud, the pogues glancing at them a few times but continuing their conversation. Three girls and three girls get out of the car.

“They look familiar” Sarah mumbled, the pogues then looking at them as they walked to the entrance.

A guy got out of the passenger seat, “make sure it comes quick!” he said, leaning against the car. 

“Oh my god,” Sarah said, “What?” Pope asked confused.

The guy’s friends laughed and walked into the wreck, the guy now scrolling on his phone.

“That’s Jayden,” Sarah said. JJ looked at the guy, with light brown hair, and blue eyes. It was him.

“Whose Jayden?” John B asked, getting overprotective. 

“Y/n’s ex. The guy that cheated on her over the summer. She showed me pictures of him and his friends one time.” 

“Is he? JJ and I have seen him with some girl, it was the girl with the dark hair” Kie said.

“That’s Diana! Oh my god, don’t look at him. I don’t know if Y/n showed me what I look like. Act like we’re having a conversation” Sarah said, looking away, Jayden not even noticing the pogues.

“We were having a conversation,” Pope said plainly.

“You know what I mean!” Sarah whisper yelled. 

The conversation they were just having again picked up, but JJ didn’t engage in it this time. He just kept staring at him. He never left his sight. The bruise on your wrist flashed in his eyes. The memories of what you said he and his friends were saying to you popped up in his mind. JJ just saw red. 

He stood up, the pogues not noticing at first. 

“You’re Jayden, right?” JJ asked, walking to him.

Jayden looked up and looked JJ up and down. He looked confused. The pogues looked up once they heard JJ’s voice.

“Yeah, why?” Jayden responded.

Not even a second later JJ punched him in the face, Jayden getting low to the ground.

“JJ!” Kie yelled, the rest of the pogues getting up to stop him.

But JJ never stopped, he just kept punching him, and punching him, and punching him. He couldn’t stop. He just kept thinking of the bruise, and your face when you told when what they said. He kept thinking of you.

Eventually, the pogues finally pulled JJ off, “What the fuck man?” Jayden yelled, blood leaking out of his nose.

“Why don’t you give me a bruise huh?! Give me one!” JJ yelled out. 

John B and Pope were trying to calm JJ down, holding him back away from Jayden. The both of them yelled at each other, Sarah trying to calm down Jayden from the other side of the parking lot.

Because of the amount of noise outside, people started to notice, includg Jayden’s friends who walked out.

“Diana, call the cops,” one of them said, the dark-haired girl nodding.

“No, don’t call the cops!” Kie said, the girl just looking at Kie like she was crazy.

“You think you can just cheat on her and not face the consequences?!” JJ yelled

“Holy shit, you’re with Y/n?” Jayden laughed. 

“That slut?” one of the girls laughed.

“What did you just say?” Sarah asked, walking to the girl that said it. 

“Sarah, don’t.” John B warned.

“I should’ve known she had a thing for dirt. I’m not surprised, she’s dirty herself” Jayden continued to laugh. 

“Say that again!” JJ yelled. 

JJ was itching to go back at him again, and he knew that if he kept talking about you. It wouldn’t end well.

“I called her slut, is there a problem?” the girl said.

“Yeah, it is a fucking problem. That’s my fucking best friend” Sarah got in the girl’s personal space. 

There was so much yelling going on, the boys were yelling at each other, Sarah and this random girl were coming up, and Diana was on the phone as Kie was arguing with another girl who wanted Diana to call the police.

“She’s all used up now and you still want that bitch? I could only imagine how slutty she is now” Jayden said.

That was JJ’s limit. 

JJ pushed John B and Pope off of him and went straight to Jayden, yet again punching him.

Jayden’s friends ran towards JJ and John B and Pope went to get them off of JJ. The boys have their brawl of three going against four.

Sarah took this as an opportunity to hit the girl in the face. Another girl came up from behind her but Kie went after her, that being the only fair fight of two going against two. Diana was already on the phone with the police. 

Multiple people from the restaurant ran outside to record the brawls instead of trying to stop them. The pogues seemed to be winning, JJ even holding his own when Jayden and one of his friends tried going after him together.

Not long after, the cops had shown up, separating everyone from everyone. Now it was a yelling match between the pogues and some random people on the island. The randoms had visibly more injuries than the pogues did. The only injured ones were Sarah and Kie who only had a scratch. The randoms had blood coming out of their noses, their cheeks were cut, and their lips were cut. And JJ knew he broke Jayden’s nose. They looked like they went through a brawl. While the pogues looked like they got a little dirty.

“Talk shit about my girl again and see what happens!” JJ yelled

“How you tried to fight her when she was already beating your friend’s ass?!” Kie yelled at the girl

“What did you think was gonna happen when you put your hands on him?!” John B yelled.

“Get the fuck off the island!” Sarah yelled.

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean” Pope yelled.

“Your girl? Or the island’s?!” Jayden yelled.

“You should’ve told your friend to back off man!” one of the guys yelled.

“She beat my ass?! Please” A girl yelled.

Everyone was being held back, the officer who had JJ having to work harder than the rest of them. JJ just kept pulling and pulling. He was ready to pounce on his prey and beat him again. Eventually, everyone was in handcuffs. The random guys with each other in one car, the two random girls in another with another random boy. Pope, JJ, and John B in one car, Sarah and Kie in another.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

You were watching tv as you were eating your cereal. Sarah or Kie texted you that they be free and JJ was with them so you decided to keep yourself busy. You had just cleaned your room and bathroom, so you just needed a little break before you could do anything else.

Your phone started to ring next to you, and when you looked at the screen it was a random number. You usually don’t answer random numbers you don’t know, but something in you told you to answer this one, so you did.

“Hello?”

“Y/n! Thank god you answered. I need a small favor from you.”

“Sarah? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” 

“No actually. Uhm.” Sarah stopped for a second, she sounded like she was speaking to multiple people but went back to you. “We got arrested” 

You almost dropped your cereal, pausing your movie. You got up from the couch and walked to your kitchen. “We? Whose we? Who got arrested? How did you get arrested? Why did you get arr-” 

“John B, Pope, Kie, JJ. We were at the wreck and- I’ll tell you everything. But we just need you to bail us out. Please. I didn’t want to call my dad and he-” 

“Of course, I’m on my way,” you say, putting a hoodie over your shirt but keeping your shorts on.

“You’re a lifesaver, I owe you one,” Sarah said, the stress coming off of her shoulders.

“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll be there as quick as I can, alright?” You say putting on your shoes.

“We’ll be waiting,” Sarah said before hanging up.

You drove as quickly as you could to the Wreck. Grabbing something in your car before, getting out, and seeing Kie’s mom immediately. “Hi, uhm. I don’t know if you heard about Kie yet or not. But if you did don’t worry about it, I’m getting everything solved right now. But did they leave anything behind?” you ask her.

Kie’s mom nodded and made you follow her to the back, “This is Sarah’s phone and John B’s keys. I don’t how you get it done, just get them home. Safely” she responded, you nodded and quickly walked out.

You got in the twinkie instead, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fit all of the pogues in your car. You drove to the Sheriff’s department quickly, once you parked, and quickly walked in and went straight to Shoupe’s office.

The receptionist tried calling you to stop you but you didn’t care, when you walked into his office and the receptionist tried to stop you, Sheriff Shoupe stopped her.

“That’s alright, She can stay,” he said, putting his hand up to defend you. She huffed and walked back to where she usually sat. “What can I do for you today, pum-”

“I know you have my friends. I want them back” You say in a stern voice.

Shoupe sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You want your friends back” he repeats, more so for himself than for you. “Do you even know what they did? They got into a brawl with people from the mainland. This isn’t some stupid prank, JJ broke a boy’s nose”

You closed your eyes and breathed in and out. You knew the people from the mainland were Jayden and his friends. And you knew the boy JJ broke his nose was Jayden.

“And where are the people from the mainland now? Running free while my friends are-”

“They’re here with them if you would like to see them,” he said.

You ran a hand through your hair, you didn’t want to see them. Shoupe knew you were starting to get stressed.

“Y/n, does your mom know you’re here right now?”

You laughed at that, he was trying to scare you with your mom. She would be upset you were there, and she would be even more upset that you went to bail your friends out. But you didn’t care about that, not right now anyway. 

“Can’t I just bail my friends out? Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be”

“There’s a lot of paperwork that involves an adult. I’m sure you know that by now with JJ. I don’t think you would want to deal with that again. So Miss Y/l/n. You may leave my office right now” Shoupe said going back to his computer. 

You threw an orange envelope on his desk. Shoupe stopped what he was doing and looked at it. “What is this?” he asked

“Ten thousand dollars. Three thousand three hundred for my friends. Four thousand seventy for the mainlands. The rest of the two thousand, seven hundred, and forty dollars goes to you and the money you can use to make sure this incident isn’t on their records. On my friend’s records.”

“Are you bribing me, Miss Y/l/n?”

“I’m helping my friends. Ten thousand is my only and final number” You warned him. 

Shoupe was in thought, he was thinking about the choices he had here. He then spoke into one of those police speakers, “let the kids out. All of them” he said, you smiled and walked out of his office. 

None of the pogues went through the system and all of this was being kept off of their record, they were safe another day. Sarah was the first to walk out, running and hugging you when she saw you.

“You’re the best” she whispered in your ear. 

“Yeah I know” you laughed. 

Kie walked out after, also hugging you. “Oh my god, I love you and your money,” she said, you laugh at her, “I love you too I guess’ you say with a smile on your face.

The three of you walk outside, Sarah explaining what happened, Kie adding to her story. The three of you leaned against the twinkie so the rest of the pogues could see you guys. And they did, all three of them coming out at the same time.

“I knew you would come in handy,” John B said, 

“Yeah yeah, get in the passenger. I’m driving” you respond.

John B nods and the rest of the pogues get in the back, talking over each other trying to tell you the story. Everyone except JJ was quiet. Too quiet. He would glance at you but nothing more.

You were about to walk into the driver’s side but saw Jayden and his friends walking out. “Stay here” you mumbled. 

Everyone but JJ was calling you back as you started to walk to Jayden. Once you were finally in his view he scoffed.

“You got your friends to gang up on us?” Alana asked.

“No, I didn’t. But from what heard, it was a fair fight. If anything you guys had the upper hand, there was more of you” you respond.

“It doesn’t matter, what does matter is the lawsuit they’re gonna be bombarded with,” Jayden said, warning you.

“That’s what I came here for. You won’t be pressing charges” 

“And why’s that?” Jayden asked, amused.

“Who do you think paid for your bond? I do something for you, you do something for me, and don’t press charges” You explain.

The rest of his friends stood quiet. “Your boyfriend broke my nose” Jayden argued with you.

“And you deserved it, if not more.” You got close in his personal space, “you aren’t going to press charges. None of you are. But if one day I find out you are. You’re gonna fucking wish you never saw me at the Wreck the first time” you say, walking from them and back to the twinkie.

You got in and started to drive to the chateau, the drive there is silent. Too silent. You don’t know how you’ll get your car back from the wreck but, you’ll get it eventually. When you arrive at the chateau and when John B opens the back door, JJ is the first to run out, saying he needs a shower.

 The rest of the pogues followed him inside, Pope sitting on the couch, Sarah and John B whispering things to each other, and Kie pacing back and forth. You were still here though, but your mind was just on him. Why did he fight Jayden? Why did he start it?

You needed to clear your mind, you knew the ten thousand dollars in your car would come in handy, but you didn’t expect to finish it in one go. Now you’ll just keep a small amount. “I’m going to the beach,” you say before leaving the chateau. 

The beach wasn’t far from John B’s house, so you just walked there. So when you did get there, you saw down and looked at the water.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡･ ───

JJ got out of the shower and he needed to talk to you. But when he walked out he didn’t see you. At all. He only saw Pope, Kie was on the phone with her parents, and John B and Sarah were on the hammock. 

“Where’s Y/n?” JJ asked. 

“She said she was going to the beach. I’m guessing she isn’t lying ‘cause she didn’t take the twinkie” Pope said. 

You were at the beach. JJ thought for a moment he shouldn’t go there. He thought you needed your space, your peace. But that went out the window when he thought about it longer. He threw the towel into the room he stays in and walked to the beach. 

He got there quicker than you did because he was running. But he saw your silhouette, he breathed in and out and sat next to you. Looking at the water with you.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” you ask.

JJ just nods. The silence killing the both of you inside.

“JJ”

He hums.

“Why’d you break Jayden’s nose?” you ask, looking at him. JJ hung his head low after that sentence. There were so many things he wanted to say. But he couldn’t.

“Sarah said he was Jayden, and I thought about your bruise. And remember the words he told you. I just had a switch inside me. And once I hit him, I knew there was no going back.”

You sigh, “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me JJ. I can handle them by myself”

“I know that. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” He apologizes, finally looking you in the eyes. 

The two of you were quiet, just looking at each other. He never explained why he was so rough to you. He needs you to know why.

“Y/n”

You hum.

“The reason why I treated you like shit was that I liked you. A lot. Too much even” JJ confesses. Of course, it was for a stupid reason, you thought.

“I don’t want this to sound like, ‘when a boy is mean to you, it’s because they like it’ but-” He pauses. “You know my mom walked out on me pretty young. You know I’ve known Big John and John B for like, ever. So when Big John disappeared, I felt like he walked out on him.”

You don’t say a word, letting him have his moment.

“And I had these girlfriends that either cheated on me or randomly left. So I started to just, hook up with people. I was okay with them being meaningless. And then you came along and- you changed everything for me. You weren’t like the rest of the kooks. You were nice and sweet. You were smart and beautiful. You have a future. And you still have those things in you but. I didn’t. I don’t even think I still do.” 

A tear comes down his face and when you go to wipe it away, he stops you, nodding slowly. 

“I knew I liked you, John B knew, Pope knew, Kie knew. Maybe even Sarah knew. But I also knew that you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve you. So when you first started being nice to me, I thought if I would push you away hard enough, you would realize how bad I am. It didn’t work in the first year. But then I saw this switch in you, and I knew it did from that moment.”

He breathes in and out.

“I know I pushed you too far. I’m truly sorry for what I did to you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for it. And I’m not excusing my behavior. I just wanted you to have the information before I go further with this”

He pauses for a moment, thinking of what he should say next. One thing about JJ is that he gets into his head too much, and this was one of those moments.

“Just say what you feel, J” you reassure him. JJ looks at you and nods.

“I really like you, Y/n. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You make me nervous and you make me want to just, keep you safe from the world when i know you can take care of yourself. You make me feel like I have a future in store. Maybe this is love, I don’t know. But if this is love, I don’t want to feel this way with anyone else but you” he confessed. 

You look at him, his eyes so soft.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I am willing to try this if you are too. I want to be around you all the time. I want to hug you and kiss you every time I see you. I to be able to call you to mind. I want to show you off to the world. I want you, Y/n.” 

The silence is back again, and it bothers JJ more than anything. He can’t read your mind. With the way you’re looking at him, this could mean you’ll give him a chance, or that you’ll reject him.

You nod at him, “I want you too, JJ.” you whisper.

JJ’s eyes changed, from being so fearful to being hopeful.

“You want me too?” he asks

You nod, a smile on your face. 

“You want me too?” JJ repeats, a wide and goody smile on his lips.

You laugh at him, “yeah” 

JJ laughs a bit and grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss. For a hard, hungry, meaningful kiss. He smiles into it and you smile back.

When his lips leave yours, he starts to smother you with kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle and laugh loudly.

“I can’t wait to show everyone that you’re mine and mine only,” JJ says more to himself. You giggle at him, “hold your horses. I want a date first” you say

“A date?” 

You nod, “okay, where?” he asks, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. 

“Anywhere, you could take me to McDonald’s. I just want that me and you, where one doesn’t end up leaving the other. And we don’t argue”

JJ laughs and nods his head. “Deal”

You smile at him, he’s listening to you with no further statements or anything to come back with. You give him a peck on the lips and then lean your head on his shoulder. Watching the waves with him as he leans his head against yours. “I could get used to this” he whispers, kissing the top of your head before leaning again.

You smiled, not saying another word to him. This was the silence you loved, the comfortable silence. Now, this was something you could get used to.

again I'm sorry this is so late and so long :(

[fazedlight]

Medal (post-canon Dansen)

That’s my wife, Alex thought proudly. She tugged Kelly closer as they entered the room - a large gala-style event, with Kelly’s name and face blazed on a poster. Alex smiled as she noted everyone who was already there - Kara loading her plate with potstickers as Lena whispered in her ear, James shaking hands with General Hanson who would be presenting Kelly’s award that night, Nia smoothing over a conversation with Brainy and a soldier where Brainy had almost certainly said something mildly awkward.

Kelly herself was all smiles as she entered the room, tugging at Alex’s side to point out an old buddy from bootcamp, waving across the way to a friend from her deployment in Afghanistan. Alex hadn’t gotten the chance to meet so many of these people - spread across the US after their time in the army - and found herself happy to finally be putting faces to names from Kelly’s stories.

And then Kelly’s jaw tensed.

Alex turned to her wife, noting her suddenly stiff frame and plastered smile. “What is it?” Alex murmured into her ear.

“Nothing,” Kelly said.

“Kelly…”

Kelly glanced to Alex. “I just didn’t expect that he’d be here,” she murmured. “That’s Dixon.”

Alex glanced over. Kelly’s former commanding officer, she thought, tensing. The homophobic, misogynistic bastard who had made Kelly’s time in the army hell - not to mention a large part of the reason she had to hide her relationship with her fiancee at the time. At least, as Alex had learned, the man’s career had crashed and burned years earlier.

“I’m not going to let him ruin my night,” Kelly said. Alex turned back and smiled.

They continued to make their rounds, meeting more people, eventually giving the superfriends a hug when they reached them, enjoying the cacophony of voices and the ambience of the evening.

“Dr. Olsen,” a voice said, as another man approached Kelly, “We’ll be starting soon, we’ll need you backstage.”

Kelly nodded, planting a kiss on Alex’s cheek before turning away, following the man for whatever prep work was needed backstage.

Alex - alone - wandered around the room, making a beeline towards the bar for a nice scotch. But she stopped when her eyes landed back on Dixon.

The man was exiting a corner door, out towards an empty and unlit balcony area that Alex had seen earlier in the evening. Alex’s jaw tensed, and she turned towards the door, slowly ambling through the crowd until she reached the quiet balcony.

Dixon was alone, the shadows only lit by the cigarette he had pulled out, burning smell dissipating in the cool night air. Dixon blew smoke out in a huff, seemingly annoyed.

The tap of Alex’s shoes on the tiles alerted Dixon to her presence, and he turned towards her. Disinterested, he looked away again. “Here with your husband?”

“I’m Alex Danvers,” Alex said, “Kelly’s wife.”

A sneer appeared on Dixon’s lips. “Suppose you are.”

Alex glanced at Dixon, mulling over the washed up man in front of her. She had been curious, once upon a time, to meet him - to understand the jackass that had once made Kelly’s life a miserable hell. 

But there was nothing to understand. No hill left to die on. Kelly had fought and won her own battles, and this man was left in the dust.

Alex turned to leave, but she paused when she heard footsteps coming towards her. “She’s here because of me,” Dixon said, standing toe-to-toe with Alex as he threw his cigarette to the floor. “It’s fucking biology, women aren’t cut out for military shit.”

If it had been a few years earlier, Alex would’ve thrown a fist in his face then and there. The insult, the gall, of a man trying to grab all the credit for Kelly’s hard work and brilliance?

But she didn’t throw a punch. Maybe it was the calming effect of age. Maybe it was the years of hearing Kelly’s psychological talk. Maybe it was that Dixon himself didn’t even sound convinced of his own words, trying to intimidate with desperate bravado. 

So Alex chose the weapon that all fragile men feared: She laughed. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

She didn’t wait to hear Dixon’s answer, turning to walk away and rejoin the party. But before she could go far, she felt a hand grab at her arm, roughly yanking her back. “Fucking dy-”

Alex didn’t let him finish his sentence, instead sending a swift knee to the man’s groin, causing him to grunt in pain and keel over. “You bitch,” he gasped.

“You’re done, dude,” she sniped back. “You realize there are cameras on this balcony? If you want to make a shitshow of how you tried to assault me and got beat, I’m happy to go there.”

Dixon gasped again, and Alex turned away, reentering the ballroom. Dixon is in Kelly’s rearview mirror, she thought to herself, watching as General Hanson took the stage, so he’s in mine too. 

“Good evening,” General Hanson greeted, as Alex made her way to the front of the crowd - between Kara and James, looking at the corner of the stage where Kelly patiently waited. Kelly glanced in Alex’s direction, smiling with nerves as Alex gave her an encouraging thumbs up.

“Dr. Kelly Olsen’s groundbreaking research has opened up new avenues in the fight against PTSD,” General Hanson said. “Her dedicated service to her country is only outshined by her endless pursuit of helping her fellow veterans. We present this medal to honor her astounding achievements in aid to our soldiers, and all who wrestle with this illness.”

The room burst into applause - Alex was the loudest - as Kelly strode onto stage, receiving her medal with a wide smile. That’s my wife, Alex thought again proudly, and she’s a fucking badass.