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punkshort · 7 months ago

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i know who you are | 8. the return

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: You help Joel recover from his injuries and you finally confront your feelings for him.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, mutual pining, sad!Joel, amnesia, slow burn, descriptions of wounds/injuries, some smutty situations but nothing very explicit, dare I say fluff?

WC: 8.2K

Series Masterlist

"Joel, wake up."

He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

"C'mon. You gotta get up."

"Five more minutes," he mumbled.

"Joel," you tried again, your voice sounding so far away. Why did you sound so far away? "Joel, please wake up. I need you."

You needed him. Okay. For you, he would wake up.

His eyelids fluttered.

"Joel?"

Your voice didn't sound so far away now.

"Joel? Can you hear me?"

Fuck, his head hurt. His side hurt. Everything fucking hurt.

Then he remembered.

He forced his eyes open, blinking rapidly as his pupils adjusted to the bright light until he focused on you. You.

You were so pretty. So, so pretty, standing next to his bed with that little worried crease between your eyebrows, leaning over him. You didn't need to be so worried. Don't be worried.

Your eyes brightened when he saw you and he slowly began to recognize where he was.

He was back in Jackson. At the infirmary, in a bed.

You jumped up, calling over your shoulder for Nick and Tommy before turning back to him and grasping his hand.

"Are you in pain?"

He didn't answer. He just stared at you, dumbfounded, his brain struggling to catch up. He squeezed your hand and you gave him a shaky smile.

Tommy and Nick barged into the room and you dropped his hand. Nick began to take his vitals while Tommy tried to stay out of the way, but Joel's focus remained on you. He watched as you drifted around the room on autopilot, handing Nick instruments and supplies from a table, then disappearing out into the hall when he asked you to get some medicine he had no idea how to pronounce.

"What's your pain like, Joel?" Nick asked, reading the blood pressure cuff.

He opened his mouth to answer but immediately started coughing. Tommy twisted around to grab the water bottle next to the sink and Nick lifted it to his lips. "Slow," he reminded him, so Joel sipped slowly then sat back with a sigh.

He was so tired.

"Your pain?"

Joel took a deep breath and winced.

"Ain't great," he croaked, voice all gravelly. You came back into the room and handed Nick the medicine, giving Joel a reassuring smile. God, he missed you so much.

He heard Nick ask you to fill a syringe for him and Joel watched you work, your hands steady and your breath even as you concentrated on getting the dosage exactly right.

"Joel? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?" he asked in a daze, dragging his eyes to his brother.

"I said, what the hell happened out there?" Tommy was pressed up against the wall, making himself as small as possible while you and Nick worked.

"Ran into some raiders- fuck!" he exclaimed when the needle entered his skin.

"Sorry," Nick murmured before pulling it out.

"Where?" Tommy asked, and Joel shook his head.

"Not 'round here. Out in California."

Everyone in the room paused to look at him.

"You got this fucked up out in Cali and you made it back?" Tommy asked in disbelief, and Joel slowly nodded his head. "Fuckin'... how?"

Joel's eyes found yours again, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a half smile.

"Had a guardian angel," he said, his eyelids beginning to droop.

"The hell does that mean?" Tommy asked. Joel pointed to his pack on the floor.

"Side pocket."

Nick lifted the blanket covering Joel's bare torso so he could inspect his wounds, which had been freshly cleaned and patched up in his sleep. Then he heard the telltale sound of pills rattling in a plastic bottle.

"You found meds out there?" his brother asked, rolling the bottle around in his palm before handing it over to Nick.

"Mhm," was all he said, then watched as you looked over Nick's shoulder to read the label. Your eyes went wide with surprise then looked up at him.

Your lips parted like you wanted to say something, then your gaze darted to the other two men in the room and you decided against it.

"This probably saved you from getting sepsis," Nick said before placing the bottle on the small table next to his bed. "I'm gonna need to keep you here for a bit," and as Joel began to protest, Nick held up his hand. "Just for a bit, I said. Til you get your strength up and I feel confident you don't got any infection or serious internal damage. Then you can go home and recover."

You could see the turmoil in Joel's face. He wanted to go home, he wanted to be in the comfort of his own bed after a week of putting himself through hell.

"I'll stay here overnight, keep an eye on him and come get you if anything seems off," you said, and all three men paused to look at you in surprise. You shrugged and cleared your throat. "Unless you don't-"

"No," Joel said, cutting you off. His throat felt so tight all of the sudden. "Please stay."

Nick and Tommy exchanged glances before shifting around the room, gathering used instruments and picking up Joel's discarded, bloody clothes.

"I'll grab the cot for you," Nick said on his way out the door.

"Do you need anythin' from home?" Tommy asked and you quickly shook your head.

"I'll be fine."

Joel wanted to tell you everything, but he could feel himself fading. Another time, he thought as you rolled out the cot on the floor next to his bed. You turned off the light before he drifted off to sleep, finally being able to properly rest now that he was back with you.

It took five whole days until Nick finally agreed to let him go home. You stayed with him every night, only going back home to shower and get fresh clothes once a day. It seemed like he was always surrounded by Tommy or Ellie or Nick and there was never a good time to talk to you. He wanted to tell you why he did what he did, he wanted to give you some comfort. But any time the two of you were alone, it was always too brief or he was asleep.

Unbeknownst to Joel, you were struggling with the same issue. You wanted to get some time alone together so you could talk to him about everything you had a chance to reflect on while he was gone, but you knew it would likely be a long and emotional conversation and you really didn't want to do it at work.

There was so much that needed to be said, but the rare few minutes you had alone together you spent holding his hand or feeding him or gently wiping the sweat off his forehead and chest with a wet washcloth. You hoped your actions spoke louder than the words you weren't brave enough to say.

Nick helped you restock your first aid kit at home while Tommy got Joel settled back in his bed. You could hear them talking from the hallway, Tommy scolding his brother when he didn't listen to him and he ended up wincing in pain.

"So you're gonna want to make sure he takes this twice a day with food," Nick said, handing you a bottle of orange pills. "For inflammation. Til you run out, then he should be good. And this is only if the pain gets intolerable," he handed you a small baggie of four white pills and narrowed his eyes. "Use them sparingly, we don't have much."

"I know."

"He shouldn't need any more antibiotics but be sure to take his temperature throughout the day and push the fluids. If the numbers get over 102 for more than four hours, come get me right away."

"Okay," you nodded, hoping your sleep deprived brain was absorbing everything.

"Maria agreed to help out at the infirmary for the next couple days, so take as much time as you need. You know I can manage without you," Nick said, and you gave him a feigned look of hurt. "I can manage, I said. Doesn't mean I prefer it," he told you with a roll of his eyes and you had a stifle a laugh. Tommy stepped out of Joel's room and joined you at the top of the stairs.

"All good?"

"I think so," you said, looking back down at the pills Nick gave you.

"You need anythin', you just holler, sugar," Tommy said and you gave him a tired smile in return. The two men walked down the steps and saw themselves out while you filled a glass with water from the sink in the bathroom, bringing it to Joel.

"How are you feeling?" you asked him for what felt like the millionth time in a week.

"Not bad," he said truthfully. You handed him the water and although he wasn't thirsty, he still drank it because it seemed to make you happy and he really liked when you took care of him.

You shifted your weight and glanced around the room awkwardly.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Do you want me to get you a book or something?"

Joel smiled and dropped his gaze to the floor. You were so fucking cute and it was killing him.

"I'm good."

"Good," you nodded, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to find another reason to stay. When you couldn't think of one, you sighed and hitched your thumb over your shoudler.

"I'll be right next door and I'll leave the doors open. If you need anything or if you're in pain-"

"I know," he said, giving you a soft smile as you tried your best to not stare at his bare chest peeking out from the top of the sheets.

"Okay, then," you said, backing out of the room. "Good night."

You had no idea how long you laid in your bed, staring up at the ceiling while your mind raced and your fingers tapped anxiously against your chest. You couldn't sleep. It must have been hours because the light flicking off in Joel's room felt like ages ago and you hadn't heard any shuffling since.

It's this bed, you thought to yourself. It was the first time in a long time you slept in your own bed and you just couldn't get comfortable.

Or maybe you were too worried about him, even though it seemed like most of his strength was back. The color returned to his cheeks and he was able to stay awake most of the day. Deep down, you knew there wasn't a need to be concerned about him at that point. In all likelihood he was out of the woods. But you still felt the urge to check on him. Just in case.

You slid out of bed and tiptoed quietly out of your room, walking the few feet to Joel's door and leaning against the frame. You tried to observe him from a distance but it was hard to see in the dark, so you crept closer.

He was sound asleep, his hands resting peacefully over his soft stomach, his lips parted ever so slightly as he lightly snored. You bit the inside of your cheek and looked at the other side of the bed. Deciding not to overthink it, you closed the door and silently made your way around the foot of the bed and slipped underneath the covers with a quiet sigh.

Just for a minute, you thought. You had just grown so accustomed to sleeping in his bed, that's all. But before you knew it, his steady breathing and soft pillows lulled you into a deep sleep.

The sun bled through the curtains, inching across the floorboards and slowly made its way up the sheets until it found your face, but you didn't wake. Instead, you buried your face deeper into the warmth underneath you, far too comfortable to bother waking up just yet.

Joel, however, had been awake before the sun even rose.

He had felt your arms wrapped around his waist at some point towards the early morning. He had managed to turn so your head rested against his bare chest while you continued to sleep so peacefully. It was far too tempting. He fucking ached for you for so long and to wake up and find you in his bed caused his heart to flutter wildly in his chest and all his blood to rush directly between his legs.

He had been doing okay. He was content with just holding you, feeling you, pretending things were back to normal, if only for a little while, but when you nuzzled into his chest and tightened your grip around his waist, he couldn't resist burying his nose in your hair and breathing in deep. He missed you so much it fucking hurt. It was torture, fighting the urge to pull you into him every day and crawl into bed with you at night. He knew it would backfire one day, all his pent up emotions. When Angie caught him during a particularly low point at the Tipsy Bison, drunk and sad and missing you so fucking much, it all blew up in his face. Kissing her was a mistake but he was just so goddamn lonely. He didn't realize how much he had come to depend on your touch to soothe him until he no longer had it.

He wouldn't make that mistake ever again.

He thought he ruined everything in one moment of weakness, but here you were, tucked safely into his side, sound asleep in his arms and he didn't even dare question what brought you into his bed because all that mattered was you were there now. And you made that decision yourself. You sought him out. You wanted to be with him.

Testing the waters, he carefully pressed a kiss on the top of your head, and when you didn't react, he did it again. Sliding his eyes closed, he dragged his lips a little lower, kissing your forehead while he savored the feeling of your breath fanning over his neck. Other than your fingertips fluttering slightly against his stomach, you still didn't move, so he kissed your forehead again. You were so warm and you smelled just like him that he quickly felt himself getting lost in his desire. His kisses became faster and more urgent, finally causing your breathing to change and your body to stir. He knew you were waking but he kept his eyes closed, too afraid of seeing apathy in the face that used to be filled with such love for him.

He was just setting himself up for more heartbreak but he couldn't seem to stop.

His lips traveled a little lower, pressing tenderly against your temple, bracing himself for when you would inevitably push him away. Maybe you weren't fully awake yet because you remained perfectly still, so he continued to take and take, his kisses becoming feverish as he brushed over your eyelids. God, he missed this so much. He missed these lazy mornings with you. They were rare, but on days neither of you had any other commitments you would lounge in bed for as long as your stomachs would allow, holding each other close, getting lost under the sheets.

His time was coming to an end now. Your arms loosened around his waist and soon you would realize where you were and who you were with and it would all be over. He breathed deeply, as if he could bottle you for later. Maybe his sheets would trap your scent. He really hoped they would. He could use another good night's sleep and having you at his side had always ensured that, but he could pretend as long as his pillow still smelled like you.

With his lips still roaming over your brow, you stretched your legs and let out a breathy little noise that made his cock twitch and his stomach tense. He kept his eyes screwed shut, hoping you would assume he was half asleep and therefore unaware of his lips dragging across your face. He didn't want to lie to you again but his heart could only handle so much rejection.

He felt your eyes flutter open, your eyelashes tickling his neck and he really should have stopped kissing you at that point, but it felt like he was spiraling out of control. Like his body had enough of constantly being denied what it craved.

You paused for a moment, giving your brain a chance to catch up. Figuring out where you were and why you were there. Any second now, you would pull away. He kept bracing for it, his heart thundering in his chest now that it knew time was running out, that this feeling of bliss was about to end and it was scrambling to hold on to every split second.

Thinking it would be the last chance, he kissed the corner of your eye and then your cheek. There was no way he would be able to pretend he was still asleep now, but he didn't care. He was growing frantic, his need for you overwhelming, even if this was all he could get, it would have to sustain him until he could figure out how to earn back your trust.

His eyes flew open when your lips pressed wetly against his neck. He froze, his mouth hovering over your ear, waiting to see what you would do next.

Then you did it again. Only this time, you sucked on a bit of his skin, leaving the beginnings of a red mark he would cherish for days.

Before you could blink, he rolled over, his body caging you in underneath him as he examined you with wide and hopeful eyes. You gazed up at him, your breath shallow and your lips parted as your eyes roamed over his face, taking in every freckle and every wrinkle up close. His beard was getting grayer in spots you hadn't noticed before, somehow adding to his appeal. His lips looked dry from the cold but his eyes looked bright and clear and the way the sun was beaming in through the window behind him, his messy curls sticking up every which way made it look like he was wearing a halo.

With a shaky hand, you reached up to thread your fingers through his hair. It was so much softer than you expected. His eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into your touch. You watched his throat work as he swallowed nervously and you wanted nothing more in that moment than to taste the skin there again, so you did. Leaning up, your lips suckled at the spot between his jaw and neck, his pulse strong and fast under your tongue. A reminder that he was alive and healthy and finally back home. Your nails raked against his scalp and you sucked at his skin a little harder, a little more urgently, a little more desperately and then he was the first to break.

He whimpered.

He fucking whimpered and that was all it took for you to maneuver slightly under him and spread your legs, wrapping them around his waist and pulling him close.

Fuck. He was hard. You felt it in the loose confines of his sweatpants, bobbing against your center when you pulled him down further and it set something on fire inside of you.

You brought your other hand up to get lost in his hair, giving it a tug to pull his head back just a bit so you could angle your mouth over his and you latched onto him hungrily, the contact sending a jolt through your entire body. He slipped his tongue past your teeth and finally allowed himself to touch you, hand cupping your jaw at first, then dropping to grip your ass under the sheets before sliding up your shirt, rough fingers skating up your stomach, then brushing over your tightened nipples, drawing out a sweet little moan which he swallowed down eagerly.

He flattened his hand over your heart, leaving it there as he licked into your mouth, both your jaws pried open as far as they could go, as if you were trying to swallow the other whole. He could feel your heart pounding through your chest, like it was trying to break free and jump into his palm. Like it was saying here, take me, I'm yours. And if you were to untangle your hands from his hair and place one over his own racing heart, he had no doubt you would hear what it was screaming in his chest.

I love you, I love you, I love you so fucking much, I'm so sorry, please forgive me.

And of course you forgave him. He was in just as much pain as you. Both of you had been mourning the same person without even realizing it.

And none of that seemed to matter anymore. Not in that moment, anyway. The two of you tangled together, the early morning glow from the sun washing over you, wrapping you up safe and sound in each other's arms.

You dropped your hands, abandoning his hair, nails dragging over his broad shoulders and leaving little red trails in their wake. His own hand slid down from your chest to grab your hip, pulling you impossibly closer to him, forcing you to feel how hard he was for you. All for you.

His facial hair burned your chin but you didn't mind. In fact, it felt good. You chased the feeling, pushing your mouth even harder against him, wanting to make sure you would feel that burn for the rest of the day.

Then you heard a knock on the front door.

Joel didn't react.

Either too lost in the moment or unwilling to allow it to end. Your hands drifted lower, over his relatively smooth chest and over his ribs, your fingertips dancing over each one like piano keys, careful to avoid his wound.

Another knock, louder now, made you pause. Breaking free and turning your head slightly to the side to open your eyes, you tried to listen, but Joel's mouth just slid down your jaw, nipping playfully as he went before biting gently on your earlobe. You gasped softly, momentarily forgetting about the door, your back arching underneath him. His tongue flattened against the hollow of your exposed throat, his exhale tickled your skin and caused a wave of goosebumps to emerge and he smirked, tongue still lavishing your neck as his fingers dug harder into your hip, like he was afraid to let you go.

Now you heard the front door unlock and carelessly swing open, but Joel still didn't stop.

"Joel," you whispered, your voice raspy from disuse. He only hummed in response, then his mouth latched onto your clothed breast, his tongue flicking against the thin material and you had to bite your lip to keep from crying out because you heard Ellie's voice now, along with Tommy's, making their way up the stairs.

"Joel!" you said, firmer this time and pushing him back. His dark eyes snapped up to yours, his parted lips wet and swollen as he gasped for air. Thankfully, it sounded like they had tried the master bedroom first. You heard Tommy's heavy steps enter your bathroom before walking back out into the hall and it finally clicked with Joel that you were no longer alone.

"Fuck," he muttered right before the door swung open. He dropped his upper body to cover yours best he could, protecting your modesty even though you were still fully clothed.

"Shit! Sorry!" Tommy exclaimed, backing out of the room. You squeezed your eyes shut as embarrassment flooded your veins, tucking your face into Joel's neck to hide.

"What-" you heard Ellie say from the hall, then the door slammed shut, leaving just you and Joel. The two of you stayed frozen, his body still pinning yours into the mattress under the covers, legs still wrapped around his waist as you listened to Tommy and Ellie's hushed voices trail down the stairs.

"Fuck," he sighed again, dropping his head against your shoulder.

Your heart fluttered in your chest as the both of you slowly regained your senses. Your hands drifted lightly over his back as he nuzzled into your neck, and you were perfectly content to remain just like that, but unfortunately he pushed himself up on his elbows with a sigh.

"I should go see what he wants," he murmured, giving you a heated look that told you talking to his brother was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Okay," you squeaked, feeling your cheeks warm under his gaze. He looked like he wanted to say something else but decided against it and instead sat up with a grunt. You pulled the covers back over you, the cool morning air prickling your skin now that you didn't have his body heat to keep you warm, and watched as he fumbled around the room for a discarded shirt. When his back was turned, he tried to subtly tuck his throbbing cock into his waistband, but you noticed and bit back a grin. Secretly, you were grateful for the interruption. As much as you wanted him, you needed to take things slow.

He walked down the stairs, his pace slower than usual as he favored his side with the wound. When his eyes met Tommy's in the kitchen, he saw the flash of guilt across his face for interrupting what was shaping up to be a really good fucking morning.

"Sorry," he said again, glancing quickly at the back of Ellie's head as she rummaged through the pantry for something to eat, completely oblivious to what they almost walked in on. "The kid let me in."

"Yeah, I got that," Joel grumbled as he made his way to the coffee maker and flipped the switch.

"Hey Joel, can I take this?" Ellie held up a box of granola bars and he nodded. She ripped into one and practically shoved half of it into her mouth. "How's it feel to be back home?" she asked with a mouthful of sticky oats. Joel made a disgusted face at the visual and she smirked at his reaction.

"Good," was all he said, turning away before the heat crept up his neck. It felt really fucking good to be home. "So what's goin' on?" he asked Tommy, who was leaning up against the kitchen sink.

"Couple of guys found some tracks this mornin'," Tommy began, and the hairs on the back of Joel's neck stood up.

"Tracks?" you questioned as you appeared in the doorway in a fresh set of clothes. Joel tried not to let his gaze linger on you, noting with a sick sense of pride that your neck still looked a little pink from his mouth, but it was hard. He should have just stayed in bed with you.

"Doesn't look like a big group," he said as Joel's face fell. "It ain't your fault-"

"They followed me here, Tommy," Joel rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"We'll handle it," Tommy replied calmly while you and Ellie sat down silently at the table to listen. "Shit was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Goddamnit," Joel growled angrily under his breath. "I shoulda been more careful. Stupid fuckin'-"

"Joel, you were passed out on the back of a horse," Tommy reasoned, "it's a miracle you even made it back at all. The tracks were a few miles south, I'm gonna get a group together later this mornin' and see what we can find."

"I'll go with you," he said but before Tommy could respond, you piped up.

"No, you're not."

Joel twisted around, taking in the alarmed look on your face. He held your gaze for a moment, your eyes pleading with him. Please don't. I just got you back. He immediately caved.

"Okay," he agreed, and you visibly relaxed with a smile. You desperately wanted to go to him, pull him close and thank him for listening to you, but your audience held you back.

Ellie glanced between the two of you with a knowing grin, finally sensing the change in the room.

"I wasn't lookin' for volunteers, anyway," Tommy said, breaking the heavy silence and pushing off the counter. "Just comin' by to tell you what's goin' on. We're headin' out in an hour, I'll stop by later and let you know what we find."

The coffee maker beeped and Joel grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. "Be careful out there," he told his brother as Tommy slid on his boots and swung open the door. "Don't do anythin' stupid."

"That's rich, comin' from you," he replied with a chuckle and Ellie snorted. Joel shot him a glare before he left, pouring coffee into each of your mugs. He took a grateful sip before bringing yours to the table and sat down. The both of you sipped your coffees in silence, eyes glued to the table while trying to ignore the obvious tension building. Ellie began to connect the dots and stood up.

"I should get going," she announced.

"You don't have to-"

"Stay and warm up a bit-"

She cut you both off. "I got shit to do. Homework and all that," she said, lying through her teeth as she headed for her boots. "Don't worry, I'll lock it behind me," she teased, slipping out the front door while your cheeks burned hot with embarrassment.

"Jesus," you muttered and Joel had to hold back a laugh. He stared down at his coffee, the mug now half filled with the dark, steaming liquid as he struggled to come up with something to say. There was so much he didn't even know where to start.

"Oh! Your meds!" you exclaimed, jumping up from your chair to retrieve the little orange pills Nick gave you the night before. "He said you need to take these with food. Let me make you something," you told him while you shuffled around pots and pans, looking for anything to keep yourself busy.

He sat back in his chair and watched you move around the kitchen with ease. Pulling oatmeal out of the pantry, measuring it out, boiling the pot with water.

You looked nervous. The thought made him smile. He made you nervous.

Right as you turned the burner off and grabbed a bowl you felt his hands circle your hips. You sighed and couldn't resist melting against him, closing your eyes for a moment and resting the back of your head against his shoulder while he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"Thank you," he whispered while pressing a chaste kiss behind your ear.

"It's just oatmeal," you whispered back. He swallowed and shook his head before planting another kiss in the same spot.

"No, it's not."

You knew what he was trying to say and it made your heart swell. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for staying. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"You're welcome," you replied, your voice wavering a bit as you turned around in his arms. You laced your fingers together behind his neck and gazed up at him, examining every wrinkle and scar, fighting the urge to kiss each and every one.

"I love you," he said softly while his thumbs tucked underneath the hem of your shirt, searching for any bit of your soft skin he could find. "I know you can't say it back yet and that's okay. I just really needed to tell you."

You blinked back your tears and nodded, pulling him down to your level and slotting your lips together once again. He sighed as his shoulders relaxed and for the first time everything just felt right so you tentatively flicked your tongue over his lower lip. You felt him smile before he allowed you to deepen the kiss, your tongue slowly and deeply massaging his as he pulled your body closer, pressing you firmly against him.

A deep groan rumbled from his chest when you raked your fingers through his hair, your knees practically buckling at the sound. He walked you backwards until you felt the counter pressing against your back, his kisses growing hungrier and his fingers gripping your hips tighter.

"Your food's getting cold," you mumbled, turning your face towards the oatmeal cooling on the stove.

"Don't care," he said, his lips grazing over your throat. He missed you so much and now that he finally had you, he couldn't get enough. When he dropped to his knees, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your jeans and his mouth ghosting over the apex of your thighs, you gasped and grabbed his hair, stopping him.

"I-I'm not ready for all that yet," you admitted as the warmth of embarrassment flooded your cheeks and chest. "I'm sorry, I know you've been waiting for so long-"

"Shh, it's okay," he said sincerely, then stood back up with a grunt. He cupped your face and gave you a gentle kiss. "I can wait. I'll wait forever, I don't care," he still cradled your jaw as he nuzzled his nose alongside yours.

"This is all I ever want, anyway," he whispered, and you smiled.

It was the first day of your fresh start.

Nick had offered you time off to care for Joel but it quickly became apparent as the day went on that he was doing far better than any of you expected.

He only had a little trouble going up the stairs so the two of you spent the rest of the day in the living room. You had thought he was going to try and nap so you busied yourself with a book, his head resting in your lap as your fingers absentmindedly carded through his curls while you read on the couch, the fire crackling next to you. It wasn't until you lifted your hand to flip a page when you noticed his eyes on you and you grinned.

"I thought you were going to try and sleep?"

"Not very tired," he replied, gently reaching up for your wrist and putting your hand back in his hair. "Feels real nice," he explained. You put your book face down, the spine spread open to hold your place, and began playing with his hair again.

"Joel?"

"Hm?"

"Did you go to my parents' house?"

Shit. In all the chaos since arriving back in Jackson he never had a chance to tell you.

"Yes," he said, staring up at you from your lap, watching as the shadow from the flames danced across your face.

"Is that where it happened?" you asked, your eyes traveling to the side where he was stabbed. He nodded and you sniffled, dropping your gaze to the floor. "I thought so. Because of the pills," you said quietly, "my name was on the bottle."

"I know," he replied, watching as your eyes clouded with guilt. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

"You got hurt because of me," you said, lower lip trembling. "If I hadn't been so immature we could've talked about it but instead I pushed you away and you almost died trying to prove a point-"

"Hey," he cut you off and sat up next to you, "it's not your fault, don't you dare think that, alright?" He cupped your face but you still refused to meet his eye. "I fucked up. It was on me, okay? I fucked up with Angie and I fucked up out there."

"You could've died," you said, two tears trickling down your cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs.

"But I didn't."

You took in a shaky breath and finally looked at him. "Don't do something like that ever again," you told him, an undercurrent of anger in your voice, and he smirked.

"Yes, ma'am."

He dropped his hold on your face and leaned back, stretching his arm across the top of the couch. "Can't deny it got results, though," he teased after a moment and you shot him a glare but he could see you biting back a smile. You picked up your book, leaning into his shoulder just a bit as you continued to read and he stared into the fire, his mind still reeling to catch up with how fast things changed. It felt like a dream.

"What did you go there for, anyway?"

Joel rolled his eyes. "It sounds so stupid now."

You put your book back down and twisted to face him. "I'm sure it's not."

With a groan, Joel pushed himself up from the couch and began to rummage through his backpack, which remained idle next to the door since the day before. You tucked your legs underneath you and watched curiously.

When he pulled out a familiar looking binder, a faded beige color with a black trim, you could have sworn your heart stopped.

"I wanted to give you somethin' that you would recognize. Somethin' that felt like home," he began, holding it out to you. "Maybe bring you some comfort or... I don't know. Like I said, it sounds stupid now."

"No," you whispered as you carefully took the album from his hands. "Not stupid, Joel." You pursed your lips as you stared at the cover, your fingertips gently skirting over the fabric. Your family was right in your lap. So many wonderful memories... right fucking there.

The tears welled up without warning and began to pour down your cheeks.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and you nodded.

"Yeah," you said, laughing through the tears. "You... you gave me my family back, Joel. How-" your voice cracked and you averted your gaze, doing your best to compose yourself but you knew it was no use. "How could you think this was stupid? This is everything to me."

He gave you a shy smile and shrugged. "Then it was worth it."

He had been listening to you for the better part of an hour as you walked him through each photo in the album and his only regret was he wasn't able to stay long enough in California to find more pictures. He loved hearing you talk about your family, about your childhood, about everything you loved. The look on your face and the tone of your voice was all he ever wanted. You were so fucking happy, so content and at ease that he knew without a doubt if he had to go through it all over again, he would do it in a heartbeat.

"Oh my god, so this was taken the day Matty tried to teach me to surf," you said with a giggle, dragging his eyes from your face to a picture of you and your brother on the beach in wetsuits. "He had learned in college because he went to school on the coast. I told you that, right?"

"Yep," he said with a warm smile.

"Anyway, it went as well as you could imagine. I have no coordination whatsoever. I fell, like, every single time, no matter how small the wave... Oh! This must have been his graduation," you said, pointing to the next photo of the four of you all dressed up in front of a regal looking building. "He was so smart, Joel. He was going to be a chemist. Who does that? Who majors in Chemistry? I absolutely hated chem," you said with a shake of your head. Your eyes hadn't stopped shining since you opened the album and the smile never left your face. Your gaze softened and you quieted down as you stared down lovingly at the pictures, your fingers tracing over them delicately. Occasionally you would tell him a story and other times you would grow quiet and thoughtful. He sat by your side and just listened, letting you work through your feelings and memories at your own pace.

"I miss them so much," you eventually said softly.

"I know," he replied, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

"Thank you, Joel," you said, voice thick with emotion when you turned to look at him. Your eyes were wide and wet with unshed tears, and he saw your throat bob when you swallowed tightly. "This means so much to me, I don't know how to put it into words."

"You're welcome, baby," he told you. He pinched your chin and leaned in to kiss you when a sharp knock sounded from the door.

He stood with a frustrated huff and you hid your smile, setting the photo album down on the sofa next to you.

"Hey, come in," Joel said once he opened the door. Tommy stepped through and shrugged off his coat, locking eyes and giving you a nod. "What'd you find?"

"There were only four. Two of 'em were half frozen and the other two didn't have much fight in 'em."

You made a face and looked away as Joel led Tommy into the kitchen.

"Who were they?" Joel asked, and you heard the telltale sound of liquid pouring from a bottle. You stood and made your way towards the kitchen.

"Don't know," Tommy admitted, tossing back the whiskey. Joel gave him a refill right as you were entering the room. "We questioned the two that were conscious but they didn't give us much. Said they were alone. Said they were part of a bigger group that got picked off."

"The men I killed?" Joel asked, brow furrowed as he took a sip of whiskey.

"They didn't say, but they did tell us a few of their guys were out scavenging and never made it back, so maybe."

Joel nodded and you leaned against the doorframe, crossing your arms.

"You think they were tellin' the truth? That there ain't any more of 'em?"

Tommy shrugged. "Didn't have reason to think otherwise. We scoured the area. Couldn't find any other tracks-"

"But the snow coulda covered it up," Joel offered anxiously. He scratched his chin, staring blankly at the floor while the gears turned in his head. "They probably followed the horse tracks and when the snow got to be too much, they lost their way. They were comin' for me, Tommy."

For some reason it never occurred to you that those men were looking for revenge. It sent a shiver down your spine.

"Or they were just lookin' for someplace warm. You don't know, Joel. Besides, it don't matter now. It's dealt with."

Joel didn't look convinced but he kept his mouth shut, for your sake. He could tell he was worrying you and he had already put you through enough as it was.

"Listen, I oughta get back to Maria. I'm sure she's got her hands full," Tommy said after a brief silence. He handed Joel his empty glass and shot you a look. "Don't worry, sugar. We got this under control."

You gave him a tight smile and moved out of his way so he could gather his things.

"Thank you," you told him quietly while Joel rinsed out their glasses.

His eyes flicked up to yours as he laced up his boots. "Don't mention it. Ain't nothin' bad gonna happen, I promise."

You wished his words brought you some comfort but you couldn't shake the nagging voice in the back of your head.

"C'mon. Why don't you show me more pictures," Joel urged once Tommy was on his way. It was clear he was trying to get your mind off things.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna go to bed," you told him. He was in the middle of picking up your photo album when he paused and glanced up. His eyes scanned your face, clocking the anxiety you were trying to hide. He could tell you still felt responsible, even though he had insisted what happened wasn't your fault, and now the raiders following him back into the mountains just made matters worse.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," you replied, your voice sounding more confident as you tried to shrug off the bad feeling Tommy left. Your eyes flickered to his awkwardly. "Do you... need help getting up the stairs?"

He frowned and shook his head, too lost in his own head to pick up on what you were too nervous to really ask. "I'll be alright. Go get some rest, I'm gonna stay up for a bit."

After you went to bed, he tried to distract himself from the possibility he put the entire town, but more importantly, you, at risk. He poured another glass of whiskey and picked up a book, but he found himself rereading the same paragraph over and over for half an hour.

What a stupid fucking thing to do. He pinched the bridge of his nose, kicking himself for being so careless. Maybe he could convince you tomorrow to let him go out with Tommy. He trusted his brother, but he knew he would feel better if he explored the area himself. He knew he had to be careful. He made so much progress with you, he couldn't risk fucking that up, either, and based on the way you looked at him earlier, it was clear the prospect of him leaving Jackson again so soon scared you.

Warmth bloomed in his chest and the corners of his lips twitched into a smile. The idea of you scared didn't please him, but scared for him? Well, that was different.

The way he woke up that morning still felt like a dream. Your arms wrapped around him, your face nuzzled into his shoulder, your scent invading his senses. It felt strange for a split second until his memories came flooding back from a time when he woke up like that every single day and he foolishly wondered if you had finally remembered. Once you opened your eyes he knew instantly you hadn't, but somehow he was even more excited that someone as perfect as you found your way into his bed twice.

Bed.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes before tossing back the rest of his whiskey. He was procrastinating now, tending to the fire one last time before dragging himself back to his empty bed. How was he going to sleep when he knew you were right in the next room? God, what he wouldn't give to curl up in bed with you.

He froze, the poker hovering in the air halfway towards the fire as he thought back to your words when you went to bed, now hours ago.

Do you need help getting up the stairs?

You sounded a little strange but at the time he just chalked it up to Tommy's news about the raiders. When you asked if he needed help, were you trying to get him to come up and sleep with you?

"Oh, you fuckin' idiot," he growled to himself under his breath before slotting the poker back in the stand. Was it too late?

He crept quietly up the steps, hoping to see your light on under your door but unfortunately, your room was dark. Shit.

Changing into his sweatpants, he mentally chastised himself for being so goddamn thick and missing his opportunity to go to bed with you. After he washed up, he paced around his room, anxiously chewing his nail and wondering what he should do. Should he just go to sleep? Should he slip into your bed the way you did the night before? Would you be upset if he did?

Just when he thought he was about to wear a hole into the thin carpet he heard a light tapping on his bedroom door. He froze and held his breath, wondering if he imagined it until he heard it again.

He rushed to the door and whipped it open where he found you standing in the hallway wearing a thin T-shirt and sweatpants of your own. You didn't look like you had just woken up, your eyes didn't look like they were clouded with sleep. You were waiting for him.

Your gaze darted quickly over his bare chest, like you were trying not to look but couldn't help yourself. His cock twitched, excited by the notion that you could be fighting your own arousal, same as him.

"Can I stay with you?" you asked, your voice impossibly small and fuck, his heart squeezed in his chest at how sweet you were in that moment.

"Yeah," he breathed, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he felt. He widened the door and stepped aside, watching as you slipped past him and curled up underneath his sheets.

Neither of you said a word. He just flicked off the light and slid into bed beside you, turning onto his side and pulling you against him. His face nuzzled the back of your neck and his arms wrapped around your waist and he heard you sigh. He held you close and with tears in his eyes whispered how sorry he was, how he would never hurt you again, how he was weak and stupid and he loved you so much.

You didn't say much in return. Just the occasional nod or sniffle or squeeze of his hand in acknowledgement.

All of the stress and anguish from the past several months were the furthest things from both your minds as you fell asleep that night, each of you finally assured that everything was going to be okay.

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absurdthirst · 3 months ago

Text

Online Love {Javier Peña x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 18.3k

Warnings: Online dating, feelings of inadequacy, anger, upset, mentions of past bullying, Javi having restraint, oral sex (male and female receiving), tiny bit of body worship, unprotected sex, vaginal sex

Comments: Coming home after Cali, Javi finds that his dad has moved into modern times. There's a computer in the house. Unsatisfied with his reputation proceeding him, he decides to go online to find out if he can be the man he wants to be. Except the one he connects with, you, has a very complicated past together.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

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|| MasterList || Javier Peña MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

The last thing that Javi expected to find at the Peña ranch upon his return, was a computer. He wasn’t even sure that his father had known what one was, let alone how to turn one on. But there it was. A great hulking machine that is set up in the dining room, taking up half the damn table. He had frowned at his pop, hands on his hips as he asked him what the hell he did with the damn thing. “Talk to people.” Chucho laughs at his son’s confused ire and slaps him on the back. “I got that dial up package added to the phone line. Even my accountant told me I needed one.”

Javier avoids the computer for weeks, eying it like it's going to turn on and take over the world. At least, that's what every Sci-Fi movie is about lately. He watches his pa try to cook scrambled eggs and snorts at the curses coming from his father's mouth while he flips through the paper. ‘Free Online Dating Membership. Join Match.com today!’ The ad in the corner catches his eye and he snorts again, wondering who the hell goes on the internet to find a date. He can go to any bar and pick up a woman. Well, he can get a one night stand. Every woman within fifty miles knows about the infamous Javier Peña and his reputation precedes him. The doorbell rings and Javier huffs, folding the paper to get the door. "I got it, pa." He tells his father who is still cursing the now burnt scrambled eggs.

"Oh, uh, hi. Javier." You clear your throat and Javier's eyes widen. He says your name and you are surprised he remembers you. "I have papers for Chucho." You hold up the folder and Javier steps aside. You walk into the kitchen to find Chucho rinsing out a frying pan, the smell of burnt eggs in the air, and you smile at the older Peña. "Just dropping off the quarterly report." You set the folder down.

“You’re his accountant?” Javi asks, following you into the kitchen and he can’t help that his eyes have fallen down to your ass as you walk in front of him. It is a habit when he is around a beautiful woman and you have become that. No longer the awkward and gangly girl he had remembered before he had left for Columbia, you have matured into a graceful woman. It isn’t quite fair because you weren’t too much younger than him.

“Yes.” You turn and give him a confused smile and tilt your head in curiosity at what he was meaning. You had always been good at math, enjoying numbers more than socializing.

“So that-” he points to the computer in the dining room, “is your fault?”

You chuckle a little, "don't you want to join us in the 20th century, Javier? It's nearly the 21st. A computer is the future." You take a step closer to Javier, lowering your voice, "besides, your dad can join forums. Speak to other ranchers. Other widows. There's a whole world out there and that computer brings it to him." You had noticed how lonely Chucho was and he is far too proud to say anything so you suggested the computer.

“What’s wrong with the annual rancher’s association meetings?” Javi snorts, rolling his eyes at the idea of his father courting widows through a computer. His mother was the love of his life, and he had honestly never even suggested moving on. He was still wearing his wedding ring that his mother placed on his finger nearly fifty years ago. “Going to town to the tack and feed store? Meeting people in person?”

You shake your head, "your dad is a proud man. He's loyal to your mother, even after all these years. You can't be honest about how you feel with people you've known for years. On the computer, you can be anonymous, you can tell someone how you truly feel without seeing the judgment on their face. You can be who you really are when you're behind a screen." You confess, knowing you have your own experience with that anonymity. "You wouldn't understand it. You've never had a problem with saying what you think."

That’s not true, and Javi opens his mouth to tell you that, but he stops. You said that one could be the person they wanted to be. Who they really are. Javi glances back at the computer again, contemplating that in a different light. Everyone knew Javier Peña, by his reputation, by the stories that had been written while he was in Colombia. They judged him, or treated him how they expected him to act. Every woman he had met recently just wanted to ‘see if the rumors were true’. He hadn’t taken many of them home. Looking back at you, he shrugs slightly, as if it’s not anything to him. “They are a pain in the ass when they act up.” He grunts.

You chuckle, pointing to the big book on the dining room table next to the computer. "Good thing you have the instruction manual." You quip and walk back over to Chucho who thanks you for bringing the report. "We need to work on the W2's next month." You tell Chucho who nods, "thanks, chiquita." He winks at you and grabs the egg carton. "Any chance you can cook scrambled eggs?" He asks and you giggle, "I would show you but I have to go meet Maria to explain why her new RV is not a tax write off." You chuckle and Chucho winks at you, "luego." You turn to look at Javier, "see you around, Peña." You show yourself out, exhaling deeply as you recognize that you couldn't avoid Javier forever.

Over the next few days, Javi eyes the computer. Debating with himself as he smokes out on the front porch. His dad still won’t allow smoking in the house even though his mother’s oxygen tanks were long gone. Looking at the outline of the large monitor through the screen door and contemplating your comment. He could be someone other than Javier Peña, manwhore or DEA disgrace. He wouldn’t be grumpy or sarcastic, not unless he wanted to appear that way. The person he could be online wouldn’t be burdened with the sorrows and mistakes that seemingly weigh him down. He blows out a breath and crushes out the butt before he yanks the door open and steps back into the house. His father is out for a few hours and he can at least turn it on to see what all the fuss is about.

You bite your lip as you log onto the website. You never imagined you'd join an online dating website. You had seen the video tapes from dating agencies and you never allowed yourself to get so lonely that you resorted to that but the internet brought a new option. You like that there's no photos. Only an initial and a location. It's anonymous and you chat, then decide if you like each other. Sure, you've had some bad matches in person. Some not at all like they described themselves, some total assholes. You keep trying though. You want to find your person.

“Goddamnit.” Javi scowls at the computer and bangs the enter button several times. “Why won’t you do it?” He hisses, seeing the little arrow over the area he wants to go, but it’s not doing anything. “Fuck.” He rolls his eyes at himself and grabs the stupid thing called a mouse. Why it was a mouse, he will never know, but he clicks buttons until the page starts to load, leaning back with an annoyed sigh while he waits.

You have a sip of wine as you wait for the website to load. You sigh, watching the screen flicker as the website is displayed pixel by pixel. When it's loaded, you type in your email address and password. Grabbing the mouse, you click the 'log in' button and lean back, waiting again for the website to load.

It’s been nothing but a pain in the ass to set up this page. Debating on what to put, he had gotten annoyed at himself several times and almost walked away. Now he’s ready to browse available women, but knowing his luck, there won’t be anyone for hundreds of miles.

You set your wine glass down, surprised to see there's a new person online. "J" is the name and his tagline says "here to be myself." That intrigues you. You bite your lip, contemplating clicking on the profile until you select it and wait for it to load. "Name is J. Looking to be myself, find someone to talk to who wants to get to know who I truly am. Texas born and raised. Work in law enforcement so not a creep." You chuckle at the bio and decide to click on the 'chat now' button. You take another gulp of wine and select his profile, typing out a simple "hi".

A box pops up with a loud ding, making Javi sit up. Someone is messaging him already. He tries to suppress the surge of pleasure in his stomach as he remembers to click the line so he can peck at the keyboard. “Hi.” He hits enter and then frowns slightly because it seems so impersonal. “How are you?” He notices the initial and adds that before sending the next message. Frowning as he waits for a response.

You are surprised he responded so fast and your stomach clenches with nerves as you type out “I’m good. Just having a glass of wine. How are you?” You type, glad for those hours you spent on typewriters back when you were a teenager trying to write a novel. It sucked but your typing skills are excellent.

“Well shit.” Javier huffs, slightly amazed at the speed of the reply. He’s used a computer, he had to in those final years with the DEA. Hated it, preferred the typewriter, but he had never really talked to someone online like this before. “What do I say now?” He asks himself, wishing he could light up a cigarette. Hunching over the keyboard, he begins a two finger pecked response. “Wine sounds good right about now, although a glass of whiskey and a cigarette is more my speed.”

You have another sip of wine, waiting for his response. It takes a while and you wonder if he’s walked away from the computer but it soon pings through the speakers and you read his reply. A chuckle escapes your lips, “typical man.” You snort to yourself and reply quickly, hitting enter to send the message. “I don’t smoke. Never have. I don’t care if someone does smoke. So what brings you to this website?” You chew on the skin of your thumb as you wait for his response. It’s nice to talk to someone different. Someone you haven’t known your whole life growing up in Laredo.

Javi feels slightly guilty about smoking as he reads your reply. He will have to air the house out before his pa gets home. Wondering why he’s actually here. “Want someone to get to know me and not what they think they know about me.” Javi types out slowly. “Like I’m trying to quit smoking again, and everyone tells me that I shouldn’t try.”

Your heart clenches at his honest reply. You glance over at the photo of you and your parents when you were younger, remembering how you’d get made fun of for being too geeky. For liking numbers instead of boys. “If you want to quit smoking, you should try. Do it for you. Not anyone else.” You hit send, and then type out “everyone tells me I need to get laid but I don’t want meaningless sex. I want a real relationship. Someone I can talk to and be real myself with.” You hit send before you can think too hard about your reply.

Javi snorts to himself. “Meaningless sex doesn’t help.” He types out. “Not in the long run. I know. Sometimes it just makes you feel worse.” He’s had plenty of time for self reflection and regret. “So who is the real you?”

You sigh and type out “I guess that’s what I’m wanting to figure out. I have been so sensible my entire life. I want to let loose a little. Enjoy life. I struggle to trust anyone and it’s led to me to isolating. Hence why I’m on here.” You hit send and take another gulp of wine, feeling vulnerable.

Javi understands that. “People always call me an asshole, not understanding that I’ve seen shit that would make grown men cry. They wouldn’t believe me if I told them I’ve cried.” He tells you and continues the message. “Letting loose sounds like something I need to do too.”

“Were you in the armed forces?” You type out and he replies, “something like that.” You hum, typing again, “well at least you know yourself. You should be able to cry. Doesn’t make you any less of a man because you cry. As for letting loose, maybe we could help each other out with that.” You hit send and take another sip of wine, glancing over at the clock. It’s getting late.

“We could do that.” Javi hums to himself as he starts to type out his response. “What’s your idea of fun?” He asks. “Or the theory of fun.” His idea of fun is so far removed he doesn’t remember anymore. “I like watching movies.”

“Watching movies is good. I love bowling. I haven’t been since I was a kid.” You confess when you type, “or just a day out in the sun. I work so much. It’s hard to relax. I want to succeed. Stand on my own two feet.” You hit send and exhale, realizing how long you’ve been holding this inside of you.

“Do you like the beach?” Javi asks in return, smirking to himself about going to the bowling alley a few towns over. “Or more of a swimming pool kind of girl? You are a girl, right?”

You giggle, imagining J furrowing his brow. “I’m a girl. It says so in the bio.” You hit enter and continue typing, “you’re a boy?” You ask him to confirm and he responds, “yes.” It said so in his bio but you can’t trust anything on the internet. “I love the beach. And the swimming pool. Pool is better for sex. The beach…sand gets in places you don’t want to imagine.” You shudder, remembering when you went to the beach with your first boyfriend and got sand in too many crevices.

Javi’s brows shoot up when you admit that. He chuckles to himself and decides to be completely honest. “Never had sex in a pool or at the beach.” He types. “Fucked in a swimming hole, does that count?” He asks, remembering the time him and Lorraine went down to the local swimming hangout.

You giggle, typing back, “it kinda does. So, what is the true J? A man of mystery. Perhaps you’re a spy and that’s why you haven’t let anyone close to you.” You smirk as you hit send.

Javi chuckles as he reads that and shakes his head like he is in the room with the other person. “Hardly. No one could ever accuse me of being Bond. I don’t have the patience for it.” He pauses, considering your question. “I’m secretly a romantic. Wishing that I had someone to share a future with. I want to love someone, have them love me. I want laughter and fun, quiet nights reading books, early morning cups of coffee with someone.”

You smile softly at the way he says he wants romance. You want the same thing. You want someone to be happy with, to make happy. You quickly type back “that’s exactly what I want. A partner. I want someone to laugh with, to share my day with.” You hit send before you can think too hard about it.

Smiling as he reads the message, he feels like someone is listening to him for the first time. Really listening to him. He licks his lips and feels like he’s crazy for feeling connected through a computer screen. “Until you find that partner, maybe we can share our days?” He offers, biting his lip and wishing he could unsend it just as soon as it’s posted.

“Absolutely.” You type back and hit send before you think twice. You have a good feel for J and you want to get to know him more, be that person he can talk to. It’s nice to have someone want to talk to you that doesn’t even know what you look like. You yawn, the wine and the long day getting to you, and you type out “I’m exhausted. Long day today. Chat tomorrow?”

Javi looks at the clock and is surprised by how long he’s spent online. Soon, his father will be back. “Sounds good. Sweet dreams.” He types out, sending it and wondering if whoever the other person is will sleep soundly or toss and turn like he normally does. He hopes that it’s the former.

You log off, getting ready for bed and you fall asleep to dreams of a partner who loves you and makes you happy and you make them happy.

****

The entire day you spend thinking about logging back onto the website. You try to concentrate on the numbers in front of you but it’s almost impossible to calculate when you think about what J might look like. His bio said brown eyes and brown hair. You wonder if he’s tall or short. You don’t care, you like talking to him. When you arrive home, you eat dinner and disconnect your phone so you can connect to the internet. The shrill tone of the dial up is a familiar sound to you but still makes you wince until you can log back on the website, tapping your fingers as you wait for any sign that J is online.

“Pa! Don’t pick up the phone, I’m going to be online!” Javi calls out from the dining room to the living room where his dad is laid back in the recliner in front of a soccer game. “I thought it was stupid?” The rough laugh of the older man feels like teasing but Javi rolls his eyes and huffs slightly. His reading glasses perched on the end of his nose as he had a headache from staring at the screen last night. “Just don’t pick up the phone!” He demands again and starts to connect the computer so he can see how his online friend is doing this evening.

You smile when the speakers chirp with a new message alert. “Hi. How was your day?” He asks and you type out a quick response. “Long. Boring. But it’s looking up right now. How was your day?” You respond, wondering if he had a good day or if he found it as laborious as you did.

Javi has been looking forward to this all day, if he’s honest with himself. It was what had gotten him through another day of repairing fences and trying to fix everything on the ranch that his pop hadn’t been able to get to. “Seemed like it would never end.” He grins to himself when he thinks that you might have been looking forward to talking to him. “But I’m settled down with a beer, how about you? Got a glass of wine?”

You smile at his response, quickly typing “of course. Cheers, J.” You hit send and type another message. “I was thinking about you today. Wondered what kind of movies you like. What kind of music you like.” You know these questions are juvenile but you like chatting to him and getting to know him without any pressure.

Javi hums to himself. Intrigued that his mystery friend was thinking of him. He taps his chin, wishing for a cigarette, but he had put on a patch this morning, and starts to list them out. “Grew up watching westerns, but I think I like dramas.” He types out. “Action is alright, but they always depict shit wrong. Shooing a car’s gas tanks isn’t going to make it blow up.” He goes on. “Music, I’m still an easy listening, 70’s kind of guy. What about you? What’s your taste in movies and music?”

You snort at his answer about action not being accurate. You type back, “I love dramas. And romance. Westerns…my dad used to watch them so I’ve seen almost every western out there. John Wayne was a big hit in my house growing up. As for music, 70s, 80s. I’m not sure about the 90s. Music is changing. I miss the ballads and classic rock.” You hit send and take a sip of wine, the dial up crackling in the background.

Javi snorts and shrugs slightly, like he’s talking to someone in person. “80s music is a little too peppy for me.” He admits with a grin as he types it out. “Power ballads are amazing.”

You nod as if he’s in the damn room with you and you fluster as you catch yourself. “I can’t imagine you as a Huey Lewis listener.” You type out and he types back, “how do you imagine me?” You bite your lip, “well, your bio says you have brown eyes and brown hair. So I’m guessing your eyes are a little jaded from shit you’ve gone through but also soulful, like the key to your emotions is in your eyes. Most men are guarded but their eyes tell their story.” You hit send, hoping he doesn’t think you’ve overstepped.

Suddenly, he feels like this person is in the room with him and has stripped him naked. Not of his clothes, but of his armor. “I rarely look in the mirror. Except when I’m shaving.” He admits. “But my momma used to say she could tell everything I was feeling through my eyes.”

Your heart aches for the man, clearly he’s been beaten up by life and you want to hold him, tell him it’s all okay. You type back, “wise woman your momma. I understand how you feel. I’m not haunted by demons but I was bullied as a kid until I left school. Too nerdy, not pretty enough. Not thin enough. It still affects me to this day.” You hit send and take a large gulp of wine.

Javi frowns when he sees your words and hates how that could be possible when you are a sweet person. “Size doesn’t matter. Every body type is beautiful in some way.” He types out. “I love women of all shapes and sizes. Pretty only lasts as long as age. It’s the soul that makes a person beautiful.”

His words melt your heart, a man who doesn't just want the pretty Playboy bunny girl to fuck. He seems genuine, unlike most men you meet. "Exactly. That's how I feel. You are attracted to their aura, their personality...looks are a bonus." You hit send and smile into your wine glass, wondering if you should suggest meeting up. His bio shows that he is within 20 miles of you.

“Exactly.” Javi types back immediately. “I want someone who will build a future with me, but also be willing to jump into the truck with a cooler of sodas, a full tank of gas, a map and no destination in mind.” He had imagined taking a road trip once, with Lorraine and she had immediately vetoed it. It might be one of the things that caused him to start rethinking their upcoming marriage so many years ago.

Your stomach twists at how perfect he seems, how he seems to completely understand you. "Well, if you ever need a road trip buddy. I'm your gal.” You type back, a grin on your face and you know you look ridiculous. His chat goes offline after that and you frown, confused and wondering if you did something to upset him.

"Pa! Get off the phone!" Javi yells at his father who picked up the landline, forgetting that Javi is online. "Sorry mijo. I forgot." He admits, slamming the phone down.

“Damnit.” Javi hisses, hoping that you weren’t insulted by his internet dropping out. He listens to the modem dialing and it seems like it’s taking forever. “Hurry up, hurry up!” He growls, his stomach flipping unpleasantly at the idea of you thinking that he’s just done with the conversation. It takes forever in his mind, even if it’s just a few minutes and he’s relieved when the chat reconnects. “Fuck, I’m sorry. My dad picked up the phone.” He types out quickly.

You’re surprised that he lives with his dad but you can’t judge, you lived with your parents until you finished university. His bio says he’s over 40. “It’s fine! Shit happens.” You hit send and giggle slightly, wondering if he was frustrated that the connection dropped. “Thought you didn’t want a road trip buddy.” You tease, watching the message go through for a few seconds until it says delivered.

“Get me out of here!” Javi types back quickly, chuckling to himself. “I never thought living with my dad again would be so frustrating.” He admits. “I moved back to help him and it doesn’t make sense to live somewhere else. He’s stubborn and doesn’t want to admit he’s getting older.”

You like that he is living with his dad to help him. You like that he seems to be a family man. “One day you’ll miss him when he’s gone.” You type, hitting send. “Do you want kids? Marriage?” You ask, curious if he’s interested in that.

Javi frowns as he contemplates that question. It had been one that Lorraine had sort of asked him, in a way, when she asked him if he had imagined their life together. He had. He would have never had kids while he was DEA, but he’s done with that part of his life now. He could have that if he wanted, so does he? He flexes his fingers and starts to type. “Never really thought it was going to happen for me.” He replies. “But I could see it. Now. Had a dangerous job for a long time and I wouldn’t have ever thought about it then. But yeah, I would want that. You?”

You ponder his answer, appreciating his honesty and you aren’t rushing him down the aisle but you like to know if you’re on the same page because you like him. You type back “I want kids someday. If it happens. I’m a big believer that things that are meant to be, happen.”

Javi leans back, running a hand through his hair as he thinks about that. There’s been plenty of times he probably should have become a father, by accident, but it had never happened. He had made sure not to leave any kids behind for the mothers to take care of while he had moved on. He notices that your profile says you are in your 30s. So there’s still time. “One? Two?” He types out. “Boy? Girl? Both?”

You are surprised he’s not running a mile at this conversation. Most men would. “Two. One of each ideally but I’d take healthy babies any day.” You hover to hit send before you add, “what about you? Any ideas on kids?” You hit send and rub your cheek, hating how much you like this guy. Someone whose name you don’t even know. You have no photo, no additional information.

Javi never really thought about it before, not sure if it would matter. He shrugs slightly. “Happy, healthy, safe.” He replies. “Not sure if you really have any options. You’re gonna get what you get. Least that’s how I look at it.”

You chuckle, replying back, “very true. Healthy. Happy. Safe. That’s what everyone wants.” You like that he didn’t say “boy” like every other man would. You chat for another hour, turning the conversation to the best movies of all time until you look at the clock. “I could spend all night talking but I have to get up earlier to get to work. Goodnight J.” You hit send, deciding to wait for his response before you log off.

****

Javi is happy that he installed a second line to the house for the internet. Now he doesn’t have to worry about his pa picking up the phone and kicking him offline. He’s been talking to the woman online for weeks, deciding to call her ‘sweetheart’ instead of just by her initial. It’s funny, because he’s received messages from other women, but he isn’t even interested in responding. Despite his playboy ways before, he had no desire in getting to know anyone else. Grinning as your chat pops up, his typing improves, he quickly greets you. “Hey sweetheart, how was your day? That client’s son still being an asshole?”

You scoff to yourself as you type, “hey handsome. Yeah, he is. God, he thinks he knows better and he’s always been that way. He was best friends with my brother when we were growing up and he was a dick back then.” You hit send, glad you can vent about Javier Peña. He questioned the amount of write offs his dad was submitting with his quarterly filing.

“Just ignore him, he’s probably unhappy.” Lord knows he’s fully aware some people are just unhappy with being questioned. He had tangled with his dad’s accountant again today, frustrated because he knew that the assholes he used to work with wouldn’t stoop to hit his dad to get back at him. Of course, Miss Priss had looked like she was sucking a lemon talking to him about everything. Like he was just trying to make her job harder. He didn’t want his dad to get audited. “Wine or something stronger tonight?” He asks.

“Stronger. Whiskey.” You confess, “he really annoyed me. He thinks he knows best and I wish you could go head to head with him. I think you’d come out on top.” You hit send and take a sip of whiskey. You sigh, rubbing your eyes as you look down at your nails, you really need to get a manicure soon.

Javi chuckles to himself, grinning at the screen and feeling oddly proud to have the confidence of his sweetheart. “I’ll talk to him, see if I can’t get him to back off.” He volunteers. “Can’t let someone upset my sweetheart.”

Your heart flutters in your chest at the way he calls you his sweetheart. You have talked every night for weeks. You know that he struggles with the things he’s seen. “You’re too sweet, handsome. He wouldn’t know how to handle you.” You giggle as you hit send and take another sip of whiskey, feeling brave. “I know we have been talking for a few weeks. Would you like to meet up?” You hit the backspace, changing your wording, “would you like to meet me sometime?” You hit send and exhale shakily, nervous of his response.

Swallowing harshly, Javi’s eyes must run over your worse half a dozen times before he can grasp that you want to meet him. He types “Yes” before he thinks about it and changes it to “Yes, absolutely.” He doesn’t know when you want to meet but as soon as he sends it, he’s immediately typing again. “You said you haven’t been bowling in forever. Why don’t we do that?”

You are shocked that he remembered what you said from one of your first conversations together online. You immediately type back, “yes, absolutely! I would love that. Are you free on Friday? 7 pm?” You hit send before you think twice about it and you feel giddy at the thought of finally meeting the mystery man you’ve been talking to for weeks on the computer. Hope that you can meet his expectations of you and that he is some kind of creep. Normally you would never meet someone off of the Internet without knowing their full name but you do like the aspect of mystery of him and also you trust him. As insane as that sounds, you trust your mystery man.

Javi hasn’t grinned so widely since he was a teenager, feeling his stomach flutter and twist in pleasure. He types out the name of the bowling alley that is in the next town over, he’s heard that one is better. “Is that one close enough for you? I’ve heard there aren’t as many bowling leagues there, taking up all the lanes. We can bowl and have a few drinks, nothing too fancy.” He sends that and then chuckles. “I’ll even get some nachos and hamburgers.”

Your face hurts from grinning and you type back, “you are spoiling me, handsome. That works for me. I’ll see you there on Friday at 7pm. I’ll wear red lipstick so you know it’s me.” You hit send, reaching up to touch your lips. J had said he loves when a woman wears red lipstick.

Javi can’t even stop nodding at the computer screen. It’s a dumb habit, but he always feels like he is talking to his sweetheart face to face instead of through a screen. “I’ll get there early to make sure we’ve got a lane.” He promises. “I’ll be in a red shirt to match your lips.”

****

Friday comes around and you are nervous all day. Exhaling shakily, you check your red lipstick in the mirror of your car before you lock it up and head into the bowling alley. You’re here to meet J and you are nervous as shit. What if he doesn’t like how you look? What if you don’t live up to expectations? You enter the bowling alley and glance around, not seeing a red shirt so you make your way over to the front desk, hovering as you wait for your mystery man.

He’s got the lane and for some damn reason, Javi had decided to have too much coffee. Now paying for it with having to piss right as he sat down to wait. Trying to hurry as he washes his hands and rushes out of the bathroom. Scanning the people eagerly for the sight of red lips. His sweetheart will be early, he can tell from getting to know her over the past few weeks.

You glance around and see the one and only Javier Peña come out of the bathroom. You huff, "fancy seeing you here, Peña. Did not take you as the type for bowling." Your eyes drift down to his red shirt and your eyes widen, "J?" You choke, realizing he's the only person wearing a red shirt. This has to be a joke. Surely your online companion isn't here yet.

Javi’s eyes widen and he glances down at your lips. “Sweetheart?” He frowns slightly and wonders if this is some kind of sick joke. You hate him, think that you’re better than him because you deal with numbers all day. He could tell you things about numbers that would have your stomach churning. “What are you-“ he can’t even finish the question.

Your eyes widen at the nickname until you shake your head and let out a sarcastic laugh, "is this some kind of joke? Someone hiding with a camera? Did you - did you set up an account to mess with me? Manwhore Peña making out like he wanted something real? Please, you gotta be dreaming. I - oh God. You did this to mess with me. Well, fuck you handsome." You spit the nickname that once held affection for you and you spin on your heel, making your way out of the bowling alley, cheeks burning with mortification and tears stinging in your eyes.

Embarrassed at the people who are staring, Javi rushes out of the bowling alley, abandoning the lane he had already paid for. Spotting you as you hurry to your car, he admires the dress you are wearing even as he calls your name, breaking out into a jog to catch you. “Will you stop, goddamnit?”

You spin as you fumble to unlock your car. Your hands shake as you try to get the key in the lock. "What?" You hiss, knowing that you'll be a funny story he tells his friends tomorrow. The way it's always been. Javier used to make fun of you when you were in high school, your brother his best friend. Hell, your brother was supposed to be his best man until the wedding never happened.

He’s breathing harder as he comes to a stop in front of you, not panting but almost there. “Don’t- don’t leave.” He tells you, not reaching out but the anger on your face cuts deep. You loathe him, but there had to have been something you liked when you were talking to him online. “Look, if you’re - you go in and bowl.” He offers, holding out the slip to claim the shoes from the counter. “I paid for two games, there’s a pitcher of beer and nachos that should already be waiting.” He explains. “I’ll leave, okay?” His eyes slide away from yours, unable to continue staring at you when you despise him so much.

You shake your head, your heart clenching. You really thought you had something special with J. You don’t take the slip from his hand, your eyes stinging with unused tears. “I’ll go. You go bowl, enjoy the beer.” You spit and growl as you try to open your door, managing to yank it open after a while. “I don’t want to be the butt of your jokes ever again.” You hiss as you get into your car and slam the door, turning on the engine.

Javi frowns as you throw your car into gear and pull out of the parking spot, swallowing harshly. His jokes? Yeah, he teased you when you were both younger, but you still take that to heart? He steps back and shoves the claim ticket into his pocket, turning to walk to his truck. The date is ruined and he feels like shit even though he doesn’t know why.

You make it home and when you enter your apartment, you start to sob. Embarrassed that your entire online relationship has been a big joke. You know Javier is probably laughing about leading you on. You collapse on the sofa, burying your face in your hands, and you spend the first night in a long time not on the computer.

Javi comes into a dark house, his pop already in bed and he sits down in front of the computer. Staring at the dark screen and wishing he had never agreed to meet. Now that he knows that it’s you, he doesn’t regret that he created the profile, but he hates the image of your distraught face. Sighing, he turns the computer on, deciding to send you one last message.

You sniff as you log onto your computer after dialing up, wanting to send an email to your mom to vent about what happened when your email pops up with “message from ‘J’ waiting.” You huff and log into the website. You open the message and rub your cheek, hating that the mascara you so excitedly put on is now smudged all over your face.

“Sweetheart….I want to apologize for ruining your night, and your life it seems. I’m sorry that the night was ruined and I wasn’t the man you had been looking for. Your dress was very pretty. I want you to know that I’ve enjoyed getting to know you over the past few weeks and you are wonderful. I hope that you don’t give up looking for that special person that you can explore and share with. Javier.” The message is simple and straightforward, but Javi worries that he might have overstepped by contacting you again at all.

You read his message a few times. Your heart pounding in your chest and you bite your lip as you ponder what to say to him. You thought about what happened during your drive home. You try to reconcile the Javier you know in the daylight to the man you’ve been speaking to for weeks. You clear your throat and type your response, “Javier. I didn’t know it was you when I was messaging you. I guess I was shocked because you used to make fun of me when we were teenagers. You joining my brother to make fun of his geeky sister. I thought you weren’t interested in anything but sex - I heard the rumors about you in Colombia. I can’t figure out how the man who fucked his way through Texas is the same man who told me he wanted romance. All I can think is that this is a big joke at my expense.” You sniff, hating that your eyes sting again. “I really like J and if you are that man, not the man who rolls his eyes when I point out some issues with his dad’s receipts, then I would like to try again. Talk in person.” You hit send before you can regret it.

Javi reads your message and it hurts. The magic of talking to you is now gone and he feels a heavy weight of guilt settling back down on his shoulders and he wishes he had a fucking cigarette. He sighs and starts to type. “Yeah, I made fun of you with your brother when we were teenagers. I was an asshole and it was wrong. I’m sorry.” He doesn’t address the manwhore comments, and decides to address the issue with his father. “I will stay out of your business.” He continues on. “I used to work with men who would dig and have others dig until they had leverage on you. I was just trying to make sure my pop didn’t suffer from me pissing them off.” He sighs and rolls his head around before continuing on. “For what it’s worth, I really was looking forward to that bowling date.”

You read his message, leaning back against your chair, and you swallow down the guilt that swirls in your stomach. Maybe you jumped to judging Javier. He was an asshole, but the guy who has been messaging you for three weeks has made your heart flutter. You bite your lip and type back, “I was really looking forward to it too. I’m sorry I'm defensive. I guess I have a complex from high school. Never being the girl that got asked to the dance and it’s given me some issues. I would never let your dad be dragged into something. I want to make sure he’s protected and doing things above board. Maybe we could try again? I really like J. I’m sure I’d like Javier if I gave him an actual chance.” You hit send and sigh, knowing that you have to accept what he says when he responds.

Javi sighs softly, aware this could be some kind of payback, but he doesn’t think so. “I guess it’s too late tonight.” He would go out, but you might not be able to do it tonight. “How about this? I’m free tomorrow night. If you want to do something, we absolutely can.”

You smile softly, typing out your reply. “Miguel’s? Tomorrow at 8?” You hit send and you know that this could be a massive mistake but you want to try. The man you’ve gotten to know has to be inside of the asshole you grew up with.

The bar in town is much more his speed and Javi quickly types out an agreement. “That sounds good. I’ll see you then.” He bites his lip. “Have a glass of wine and soak in a bath, sweetheart, you deserve it.”

You reread his words a few times, loving and hating the smile on your face. You log off the computer and follow his advice, soaking in the bath with a glass of wine.

****

You glance up at the shitty sign that Miguel’s has had since your papa used to come here and drink after work sometimes. You brush down your dress, walking into the bar and classic rock is playing as you look around for Javi. He’s sitting at the bar, glass of whiskey in front of him, and his eyes widen when he sees you. You walk over to him, a little unsure. “Hi. I guess we should reintroduce ourselves after yesterday.” You tell him, wanting him to know that this is you trying again.

Javi smirks slightly and nods, noticing that you are wearing that red lipstick again. “Red lips.” He hums, wanting to reach out and see if they are as soft as they look. “Guess that makes you sweetheart?” He asks, standing up and pulling out the barstool beside him for you to sit down. “Javier.”

You sit down on the stool beside him, “handsome.” You murmur, taking in the sight of him in a red shirt and you like how he’s trimmed his mustache. He offers you a smile and the bartender comes over. You order a glass of wine and you turn your gaze back to Javier. “I’m sorry I ran off yesterday. I was - it was a shock to see you standing there.” You confess, thanking the bartender when he sets your drink down.

“I could tell.” He doesn’t smile or make light of it, nodding to the bartender himself. “I was surprised that it was you standing there.” Javier admits as well. “Although I guess I should have recognized the asshole son you had to deal with.” He snorts, having gone back through the archived conversations now that he knows it’s you and it’s almost silly that he didn’t figure it out before.

You fluster slightly, knowing you said some mean things about him. “Yeah, sorry about that. I was venting. It’s not easy dealing with numbers all day and then you come along and argue it all.” You raise your eyebrows, “I understand that you’re trying to protect your dad but you really are a pain in my ass.” You nudge him and he chuckles, shrugging a shoulder, “I won’t apologize for being protective.” You nod and pick up your drink to have a sip. “Cheers, J.” You reach out to clink your glass against his.

He chuckles again, nodding at sentiment and taking a sip as you do. “We could have used you in Colombia.” Javi compliments you. “Being so good with numbers, you could have spotted things that took us months to figure out with Escobar.” He snorts. “When he was in “jail”-“ Javi uses air quotes. “That asshole would truck in live lobsters. I would have paid money to see you go through his money trail.”

You set your drink down, “I highly doubt that his accountant was tracking his hard earned cash.” You snort and shake your head, “the things you’ve seen down there…I couldn’t even imagine it.” You confess, knowing that he went through a lot during his time in Colombia. “Thank you for the compliment though.” You offer him a smile, “could’ve used your interrogation skills when old man Garcia refused to pay for his filing.”

Javi snorts, imagining putting the screws to that old coot. “That’s when you threaten to tell Mrs. Garcia about his drinking.” He tells you with a wink. Old man Garcia’s wife is heavily religious and has a strict no alcohol rule in her house. You laugh and he taps the bar self consciously. “I wasn’t lying. Online.” He adds. “You know what people think of me. Hell, what you think of me.” He looks at you softly. “Our conversations have been the best parts of my day.”

You soften at the sincerity in his eyes, “me too. I loved talking to you.” You sigh and shake your head, “I think I have misjudged you. I just remembered you when we were younger and then the rumors I heard about Colombia. And leaving Lorraine at the altar. Didn’t exactly paint a pretty picture but I shouldn’t have judged you like that. I think J is the real you, right? If it is, then I want to start again because I like you, Javier. I liked J a lot so if you are the same man, I want to see where this goes.”

Javi smirks at you slightly and leans in. “I thought this was starting again, sweetheart?” He teases playfully. “I don’t mind you misjudging me.” Not exactly the truth, but there’s nothing he can do about it. “Not as long as you give me a fair chance now.” He leans back. “Are you hungry? You always complain about waiting too long to eat. I don’t want you to do that tonight.”

You soften even more at the way he remembers how bad you are at eating and you nod a little too fast. “I’m starving.” You admit, “are you hungry? I wouldn’t mind getting some food after this drink.” You gesture to the bar top and you let your eyes take him in now that you aren’t fighting. His eyes are crinkled when he smiles and his dark hair has grays scattered throughout but he’s as gorgeous as ever. No wonder he fucked around so much. He could have any woman he wants.

“That sounds good.” He admits. “If you don’t want bar food, we could go somewhere else?” He knows you prefer casual over formal, which he really appreciates, but sometimes bar food isn’t what someone wants.

You shake your head, “I like the food here. They have amazing burgers.” You say and he nods, “the fucking best.” You relax a little more, taking another sip of your drink, and you let your eyes wander a little more, taking in the golden skin beneath his shirt, peeking through from the buttons he’s left undone. He notices your appraising eyes and smirks. You fluster and set your glass down, “you know how women see you.” You scoff softly, trying to cover your embarrassment at being caught.

Javi chuckles softly. “Like a notch in their bedpost.” He admits, shrugging slightly. “Last woman that hit on me told me she wanted to see if the rumors were true.” It’s not been a bad thing, but it’s not what he wants now.

His words make you frown and you feel a little guilty for eying him. "For the record, I don't think you could fuck all night long. At least that's what I heard in the grocery store a few weeks ago." You nudge him to show you're joking, "you are more than that. More than what people see." You add with a murmur, recalling the things he said to you. "You're handsome but you're smart, loyal, and funny." You say about the man you know online.

He’s grateful you don’t buy into the rumors and you are willing to judge him on what you’ve talked about. “I’m not eighteen anymore.” He huffs. “Three good rounds is about all I’ve got in me these days.” He admits, smirking slightly. “Four if you’re counting the next morning.”

Your throat goes a little dry and you pick up your wine to take a gulp. “Three is…more than I’ve had.” You confess, “one…sometimes half.” You snort and Javier chuckles, “one and a half.” You shake your head, “no. Half. He came before I did and he didn’t -” You sigh and chuckle softly.

Javi grimaces and shakes his head. “Fuck.” He snorts. “Every man has had a time where he’s too excited or worked up. But you have to make sure your girl squeals in pleasure.” He sends you a small sigh. “Sounds like you slept with some real assholes.”

You snort and nod, “absolutely. Some real assholes.” You echo his words and sigh, “I just want someone who wants me and I want them. To make them happy.” You echo your typed words, knowing he feels the same way.

Javi nods, listening rather than jumping in and offering to make you feel good. He wants to take this slow and show you - and himself - that things can be different. The bartender comes over and he asks for two menus before giving you his attention again. “When was your last relationship?” He asks. “I find it hard to believe that it’s been long. You’re too pretty to be single.”

You thought that Javier would have offered to take you to bed but the fact that he didn’t is refreshing. “Uh, you remember Frankie from the auto shop? I went out with him about two years ago. I’ve been trying to build my business and I haven’t really had time to date. I’m not a one night stand kind of girl.”

He cannot say the same, but he nods, understanding what you mean. “You have to have an emotional connect, right?” He asks, wanting to know more about you. He's still reconciling the woman online with his ex-best friend’s little sister.

You glance down at the menu, his dark eyes burning into you, but you love how his attention is solely on you. “Emotional and primal. I think that the chemistry has to be there from the beginning otherwise you’re possibly waiting for something that could never happen. I thought you were a dick for so many years but I’ve always been attracted to you. Our chemistry was bickering but it was still there from the beginning.”

Javi smirks proudly, his eyes heating up at your confession and he lifts a brow. “I won’t lie and say I’ve always wanted you.” He tells you honestly. “There was a time when you were too young for me. But now…..” he winks. “I can tell you that it’s not just innocent thoughts.”

You bite your lip at his own confession and you lean a little closer to him, “glad we are on the same page now.” You reach out to touch his hand just as the bartender comes over to ask you what you want to order. You lean back from Javier as he gestures for you to go first and you order the burger and fries. Javier orders the same and you hand the menus over. “Best fucking burgers.” He says when he takes a bite into the burger after it arrives. “Damn right.” You groan in agreement after you swallow your bite.

“So.” Javi wipes his mustache with a bar napkin and looks over at you. “If there’s one thing that you’ve never done but always wanted to, what would it be?” He asks, grinning when you lift your brows in surprise at his question.

You hum, tapping your chin after you push your empty plate away. “I want to ride a mechanical bull.” You admit, giggling at the way his brows immediately shoot up. “Seriously?” He asks and you nod, a smirk on your face. “I’ve never had the guts to get up and do it. Always figured I’d look like an idiot and fall within seconds.”

“Everyone looks like an idiot and falls within seconds.” Javi snorts. “You’ll look like everyone else.” You huff and pout slightly, making him tap his chin. “There’s a bull a town over. Hole in the wall place. We could drive over and give it a whirl.”

You grin, “let’s go, Peña.” You reach for your purse and he tuts, “my momma would whoop me for letting a lady pay. It’s our first date.” He reminds you and pulls out his wallet, throwing enough cash down to cover the bill. You thank him, unused to such gentlemanly behavior from him and his gender. You take the hand he extends you and he guides you out of the bar to his truck. “You wanna follow me or I can bring you back here?” He asks and you are hyper focused on the feel of his calloused hand in yours. “Let’s ride together.” You decide and he nods, escorting you around the truck to open the passenger door for you, helping you up.

Javi rounds the front of the truck and climbs in beside you. “It’s only about a twenty minute drive.” He promises as he turns the engine over. “We have another drink, check something off that bucket list of yours and maybe even dance a time or two.”

His truck rumbles as he pulls out of the parking lot and the radio plays a country song. You admire the way his arms flex as he navigates the road, knowing that he realizes he’s attractive but maybe not aware of how much.

“Did you always want to be an accountant?” Javi asks, glancing over at you before looking back at the road. You’re so damn pretty sitting in his passenger seat and he wonders if you will bristle at the question. “I know you’re a math whiz, but was it a goal? Or something you fell into?”

“Kinda?” You answer, “went to college for math and I wanted to work for NASA. Then - then my mom got sick after I graduated and I couldn’t go to Houston. I had an internship there and I turned it down to stay at home. Became an accountant to stay local. She’s better now, thank God, but I always wonder what could’ve been.”

“Holy shit.” He’s impressed. NASA would have been an incredible career and he wonders what kind of life you would have had if you had been able to go for that. “I understand.” He nods, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. “Mom having cancer while I was in college really changed things for me. Honestly? I don’t know if I would have joined the DEA or not married Lorraine if she hadn’t passed.” He still misses her everyday, not regretting taking care of her one bit, but he had wondered what would have happened if she had lived. Or even lived longer than she did.

You were there the day he left Lorraine at the altar. The whole town was there. “I’m sorry. I remember your mom. She always made me feel so warm. She was kind and always made the best empanadas. I know you were a sheriff. What made you want to join the DEA?” You ask, curious what made him sign up, “was it to get away from Lorraine? From town?”

“Partly.” Javi snorts, remembering how the family he had once been almost welcomed into, had smeared his name through the streets. “She - or her family - told everyone I was fucking her best friend. Never even looked twice at her. But there were a lot of drugs running through town when I was a sheriff's deputy. Wanted to cut it off before it got here.”

You remember the rumor and you weren’t sure if you believed it. Javier was not a womanizer when he was with Lorraine. He seemed to only have eyes for her. “Yeah. It’s still bad. Those assholes will always win. You get rid of Escobar, someone else will take his place.” You sigh, “Lorraine did railroad you down the aisle.”

Javi shrugs slightly. "I loved her, but not enough." He admits. "I had some growing up to do and I don't regret it. Not really. She wouldn't have been happy in Colombia, and I wouldn't have let her stay."

You nod in understanding, “then she dated my brother. He was her rebound and I guess he didn’t really care about his best friend being her ex.” You scoff, remembering how your brother moved in on Lorraine as soon as Javier left town. “I’m sorry he was such an asshole and didn’t respect you.”

He huffs slightly and glances back over at you with an amused look before turning his attention back to the road. "Not a great look." He tells you. "Always wondered if they were fucking around before I left." He admits, revealing something that had been rolling around in his mind for a long time, but never voiced. "Doesn't matter anymore, though. We are all different people than we were back then."

“My brother is an asshole. He lives in Dallas now with his pretty wife and two kids. I haven’t seen him for a while. When Mom was sick, he stayed away. Didn’t even come to see her.” You shake your head and lean back in your seat, “he’s always been an asshole. Used to say I was a nerd who would never have a boyfriend.” You chuckle, “guess he was kind of right.” You look up as Javier pulls into the parking lot of the bar.

“I was an asshole too.” At the time, Javi had thought it was pretty funny. He took part in the teasing thinking that it was all in good sibling fun between you and his best friend. He had been an only child and had been too immature at the time to realize the hurt that it caused you. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs as he shifts the truck into Park and looks over at you. “For everything I did back then. For the hurt I caused. I’m sorry I didn’t stop him.”

You appreciate his apology and you know it’s ridiculous to be hung up on the teasing you got as a teenager but words hurt and they have always stuck with you. You reach out to squeeze his hand, “I appreciate you saying that, Javi. Now…let’s go ride a mechanical bull.” You grin, letting go of his hand so you can unbuckle your seatbelt.

He chuckles as he follows your lead. Sensing that you want to move past that, he climbs out of the truck and comes to your door to help you out. His perusal in your outfit is both to admire you and make sure you will be safe on the bull. “Good thing you wore jeans instead of a dress this time.” He hums.

You snort, “yeah. Don’t want to be flashing my ass to everyone in the bar.” You chuckle and Javier takes your hand to escort you inside the bar after locking his truck. The bar is busy but not slammed and you walk up to the bar to take a seat. Javier gestures for you to say what you want when the bartender comes over and you order a glass of wine while he orders a whiskey. “Liquid courage.” He declares and you giggle, “maybe wine isn’t strong enough.” You hum but don’t change your order.

He smirks slightly and turns to watch the bull in the corner of the room. The floor is covered in mats around it and he leans in, his elbows braced back on the bar. “There she is.” He talks into your ear since it’s loud with conversation and music. “You nervous?”

You shiver at the way his breath fans over you and you turn your head, bringing your face closer to his, “I’m ready. Nervous, but ready.” You promise, knowing that you could look like a fool but you desperately want to try this. It has always looked fun.

“Squeeze your knees tight.” He advises you, his voice dropping slightly on instinct. “Move your hips like you’re riding a man. You’ll do just fine, sweetheart.” The bartender brings your drinks over and he leans back to grab your wine and hand it to you before he takes his whiskey.

You take a gulp of wine, stomach twisting at the way he advises you, his voice lowering. You set your glass down, “you ready Peña?” You ask and he nods, calling the bartender over to say you want to ride the bull. “Sure man. We can get it revved up.” The bartender nods, calling his coworker over to get the bull up and running.

“Now, when you fall, just tuck your body into a ball.” Javi tells you. “People hurt themselves when they try to catch themselves.”

You nod, walking over to the bull. You’re nervous and a little scared but you are excited to try this. You eye the bull, taking Javier’s hand as he helps you up onto the bull. You grip the handles, preparing yourself and you squeeze your thighs like Javier suggested. The machine whirls to life and you squeal, eyes widening as it starts to move.

The bull starts slowly, turning as the front of the machine dips down before it bucks up. Javi watches as your hand flies up, like you’ve seen Bull riders do. Your thighs clench tight around it and you make the first full turn on it. You are damn good, his brow shoots up and his cock twitches in his pants. Making him wonder if you would ride his cock like you are riding the bull, your hips swerving and rolling with the movement of the ride.

You grin, giggling as you ride the bull. It flings around but you remain on top, you rock with the motion, squealing when it swings you around again, and you rock back, feeling invincible as you conquer something on your bucket list.

The speed of the bull increases and Javi can tell you are starting to lose your seat. Knowing you are about to lose your grip on the bull’s sides, he’s still impressed. Putting two fingers in his mouth, he whistles proudly.

Loving his enthusiasm, you try to hold on for as long as you can but eventually, you fall off. You curl in on yourself like Javier recommended and you hit the mat and the bull stops. “Shit.” You hiss, stumbling a little as you stand up.

“Holy shit.” Javi rushes over and takes hold of your waist, grinning proudly. “That was great!” He tells you. “You’re lying. You have to have ridden a bull before.” He doesn’t think you actually lied, but he loves the breathless exhilaration on your face.

You shake your head, letting him guide you out of the ring. “Never. I - holy shit. I can’t believe I just did that.” You grin and your heart pounds in your chest as you lean against him. “I just did that.” You exhale breathlessly and he nods, a grin on his face. You can’t help it, you cup his cheeks and surge forward to press your lips to his.

Javi is shocked you are kissing him, but he doesn’t push you away. Letting you wrap your arm around him while your tongue slides into his mouth boldly. Groaning, he squeezes your waist and reminds himself that it’s just the adrenaline. Enjoying the fact that you are pressed up against him before you break away.

You pull back and grin at him, still riding your high, and you grab his hand, “let’s go get our drinks. I’m thirsty after that.” You guide him over to the bar again and pick up your glass of wine to have a sip. “You gonna have a ride?” You ask him, wondering if he will attempt to ride the bull.

Javi chuckles as he takes a drink of his whiskey. “Why the hell not?” He asks, pushing the empty glass towards the bartender. “It’s only been at least ten years since I’ve been on a mechanical bull.” He shrugs. “Like riding a bike, right?”

He strides over to the bull and your mouth goes dry as he swings his leg over it to straddle it. You bite your lip as you watch him adjust himself and the bull starts to move.

Javi grew up on the back of a horse and when he was younger, him and his cousins all rodeoed a little. Plus the hell raising younger years where he would come here simply to see how long he could hang on. He's older and isn’t used to it anymore, but he still hangs on and throws you a wink while the bull twists him around for the first rotation.

Your stomach twists with arousal as you watch him swivel his hips and stay on the bull. You lean against the soft barrier and take in the sight of Javier Peña riding the bull. He is sexy and you can feel yourself getting wet from the display he’s putting on.

The operator turns up the speed faster than he did with you and soon enough, Javi is flying off the bull and tucking his body like he had advised you to do. Grunting as he climbs to his feet, he smirks when you rush up to him again. “You lasted longer.” He teases. “Just like a woman.”

You snort, reaching up to brush his hair back that had fallen into his face. “You were amazing. Very sexy to watch.” You confess and he smirks, “yeah?” You nod, “amazing.” You haven’t felt this good in so long, carefree and happy.

“Do you want to try it again later on?” Javi asks, watching you grin at him. “You were really sexy riding it too.” He had a semi from watching you, even though he had no intentions of taking you to bed tonight. This was going to be different.

You love that he thought you looked sexy and you nod, “yes. I’d love that. For now, another drink?” You suggest and he smiles, taking your hand to guide you over to the bar again. You enjoy your drinks, squeal over another round on the bull, and now, your arms are wrapped around his neck as you dance to the music playing. “I really didn’t expect you’d be a dancer.” You confess, enjoying the way his fingers grip your waist.

“Too much of an asshole?” He grins at you, making fun of the unrealistic views you each had of each other. “I like dancing. It’s a good way to be close without being naked.” He hums playfully. “There were a lot of times that it was a good cover for watching sicarios. I would get a trusted asset to come with me. It wouldn’t be fair to make her sit there and just look pretty all night.”

You hum, rocking to the beat. You know about Javier's adventures in Colombia but you know he did that to find Escobar. You dance for a while longer until last orders are called. "One more or shall we head out?" He asks and you are reluctant to go home but you can't have another drink. "Let's go. I need to run errands tomorrow and I don't want to sleep in too late." He nods and pays the bill before escorting you to his truck once again. "I had a really good time tonight." You confess when he is driving back to where your car is parked.

“I did too.” Javi admits easily, probably the most relaxed he has been in a long time. You are easy to talk to now that you aren’t butting heads and Javi doesn’t just look at you like his old friend’s little sister. “Maybe we can do it again soon?” He doesn’t want to assume, you said you were extremely busy with your business at times.

“Absolutely. I’d love to do this again. I’m free on Tuesday if you want to do something?” You ask, knowing it’s crazy to like him this much already but you’ve been getting to know him online for weeks.

“I think I can make that work.” He thinks about the work he has scheduled with his dad and nods. “I’m sure we’ll talk online?” He asks. “If something comes up, I’ll let you know.”

“Sounds like a plan, Peña.” You hum, looking out of the window at the passing streetlights until you turn your head to look at him, admiring his profile highlighted by the dashboard and the dim light outside. When you arrive back at your car, he opens the door for you and you reach into your purse for your keys, unlocking your door and before you can open it, Javier cups your cheek, bringing your face to his. His kiss is sweet, tilting your head so he can deepen it a little and you moan softly into his mouth. He’s a good kisser. He pulls back before he goes further and you smile, “goodnight Javier. See you soon.” You slide into the car and buckle your seatbelt then turn the engine, offering him a wave before you put your car in drive and make your way home. Javier stands there for a few moments, watching your car disappear in the distance and he sighs, “holy shit.” He shakes his head and gets into his truck, heading home to his bed. Alone.

****

“You missed!” Javi pumps his fist as he crows playfully, watching you spin around and stick your tongue out at him. He wants to show you what you can do with that tongue, but he just smirks as he gets to his feet after marking out your last set. It’s the third game you’ve played tonight and both of you are almost equally bad at bowling. Making it fun as you joke and play around on the lane. “Watch a professional.” He jokes, blowing on his fingers before he picks up the red and blue swirled ball he had picked out.

You roll your eyes, “sure thing, babe.” You watch him as he makes a show of positioning his feet, rolling his shoulders, before he throws the ball down the lane. It rolls into the gutter and you smother your giggle with your hand until you mark the sheet. “Professional, huh?” You tease, walking over to grab your ball. “How about a bet?” You suggest and he nods, “sure. What’s the bet?” You smirk, “first person to get a strike…gets a kiss.” You proposition and Javier smirks, “you’re on.”

You make a show of positioning yourself to throw the ball, concentrating on the middle line, and you bowl it, holding your breath as you watch it go straight down the middle, all the pins flying as you get a strike. “Hey, that’s cheating!” Javier accuses halfheartedly and you grin, dusting off your hands as you walk over to him. “Now…my prize, Peña?”

Javi leans back in the hard plastic chairs and reaches for your waist, dragging you down into his lap. It’s been a long goddamn time since he’s felt this lighthearted and it’s all because of you. You giggle and throw your arm around his neck as he pulls you closer. “Your prize,” he teases, brushing his nose against yours. “You cheater.” Before you can protest, he lunges forward and presses his lips to yours.

You melt into the kiss, reaching up to run your fingers through his hair. His tongue slides against your lower lip and you allow him access, moaning softly into the kiss. His hands slide along your back and you feel giddy, heart pounding as he kisses you. You pull back after several moments, pecking his lips. “What a prize.” You murmur, your lips burning from his kiss. “And for the record, I didn’t cheat. It was luck.”

He chuckles, knowing you haven’t pretended to suck at bowling for three games to suddenly become good. “I know.” He pecks your lips again and pats your hip. “Lucky ass strike. I’m not complaining at all. I reaped the benefits of it too.”

****

You watch Javier shove a handful of popcorn into his mouth and giggle, “slow down. We can get a refill, baby.” You nudge him then take a sip of the large soda. “I heard this is a good movie. I always liked Russell Crowe.” You say as the trailers start.

“It’s Gladiators, hermosa. It’s gonna be epic.” Javier says, channeling the teenage boy who would’ve loved this movie. He used to watch Westerns and Sci-Fi with his dad. They had to go to the movies to watch Star Wars at the midnight showing when it came out. You settle in beside him, leaning closer as the movie starts.

Javi throws his arm around your shoulders and watches you while he watches the movie. Wanting to make sure that you aren’t bored with the movie, but it’s soon apparent that you are just as thrilled with the action as he is. “They used to sleep together.” Javi predicts, talking about the Emperor’s sister.

Javier rubs your arm when you shiver but it’s not from the AC, it’s from him being so close. “I feel like he’s going to die.” You whisper, having a feeling that Maximus isn’t going to make it. You lean over to grab the soda, having a sip, and Javier leans in so you tilt the straw towards him so he can take a sip.

He feels like you are right, sucking down some of the soda and looking over at you and his eyes slide down to your lips. He leans in hums, "I think so too." He admits and leans back, reaching over and taking your hand when you put the soda down.

You feel like a teenager when he squeezes your hand and you watch the rest of the movie. When it’s over, Javier drives you home. His hand in yours as the radio plays and the wind is in your hair from the open windows. When he pulls up outside of your place, he cuts the engine and walks around the truck to open your door. He takes your hand and escorts you to your door. When you get there, you smile at him, “next time, I pick the movie.” You tease and he chuckles, reaching for your waist to pull you closer.

“Rom com.” Javier guesses and you chuckle, reaching up to grip his shirt, dragging him closer.

“You love them really.” You joke and he presses his lips to yours. His tongue slides against yours and he backs you up against the door. You whimper into his mouth and he kisses you thoroughly. He pulls back and your lips tingle when you say “do you want to come in?” You ask and he sighs, “not tonight. I gotta get up early to help Pa with the cows.”

You nod, stomach twisting as you wonder why he hasn’t wanted to sleep with you. “Sure. I’ll see you soon.” You offer him a smile even though it’s a little tight. “Bye, cariño.” He murmurs and you turn to open your door. He stands there until you close it, waving at him until the door is shut. You sigh when you drop your purse down, confused as to why Javier hasn’t slept with you yet. You’ve been dating for 2 months, talking for 3 and you don’t understand why he hasn’t touched you when his reputation displays his willingness to fall into bed. You ponder it all night long until you come up with a plan. You’re going to invite Javier over for dinner and seduce him.

****

Another cold shower. Javi hisses as he shivers under the icy spray of water, closing his eyes and willing his erection to go down. Every day he is hard, especially when he is around you. He’s tried very hard to make sure he doesn’t rush this, he doesn’t rush you into bed. Wanting there to be a solid foundation of trust and respect between you both. He just has to wait until the time is right to move things forward. “Fuck.” He twitches despite the cold temperature and reaches down to wrap his hand around his cock. You are so fucking sexy and he is more attracted to you as the days pass. He’ll have to jerk off, he closes his eyes and thinks about you, reaching out with his other hand to turn the hot water on.

****

You check the chicken is cooked and cover it with foil just as the doorbell rings and you walk over to the door to open it after adjusting your dress. It’s tight and black and you hope he likes it. “Hey baby.” You greet him with a smile, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

"Hey." His eyes widen slightly and he wonders if he had misread the situation and undressed. He's glad he stopped to get flowers and a bottle of that wine you like. "You look nice. Very nice."

“Thanks, baby.” You wink and take the flowers from his hand. “These are gorgeous. Thank you.” You carry them into the kitchen and grab a vase to put them in. “Would you mind opening the wine? Dinner is nearly ready.” You tell him and fill the vase to put the flowers in.

“Sure.” You’ve got the wine glasses out as well as a bottle opener, so Javi brings the bottle over to the table to pour out some drinks. “It smells great!” He calls out to the kitchen, listening to you hustle around. “You didn’t have to do this, you know. We could have gone out to dinner.”

You look at him over your shoulder after you put the vase down on the side. You smile at him, “I wanted to treat you. I know you and your Pa don’t cook a lot so I figured you’d enjoy a homemade meal. Roast chicken, mashed potatoes, asparagus and red wine jus.” You tell him about tonight’s menu as he pours the wine out.

His brows lift in surprise at how elaborate the dinner is and he is impressed. “Are we celebrating something that I wasn’t aware of?” He asks with a slight smile, watching as you give him another one in return. It makes his heart flutter and he can’t help but think how beautiful you are. “Just a nice night together.” Your answer makes Javi hums in approval.

You work fast to put dinner together, setting it down in front of him, and you sit down in the seat beside him at your small kitchen table. “Enjoy.” You tell him and you pick up your knife and fork so you can dig in.

“It looks delicious.” Javi compliments as he looks down at the meal you’ve put in front of him. “Thank you, sweetheart.” You smile at him and again that fluttering in his heart makes him feel young and he wonders if this is that complete love his pa would always claim would one day find him and knock him on his ass.

You talk about your days while you eat. You still message online on nights you can’t see each other, complemented by phone calls, and after you finish eating, you clear the plates and grab the dessert you bought. “Still like pie?” You ask, placing a piece of apple pie and ice cream in front of him.

“You’re spoiling me.” Javi groans, watching the steam from the still hot pie rise and the ice cream start to melt over it. “I will have to plan something special for our next date.” He picks up his spoon and cuts into the pie for a large bite.

You like that he likes the dinner, making you feel special that you can look after him like this. You sit down and watch him devour the dessert. You eat your own plate and after the plates are cleared away, you find yourself on the sofa with your glasses of wine. Your radio plays in the background and you sit beside Javier, your legs tucked beneath you. “You’re so damn handsome.” You reach up to caress his cheek, “and smart. And funny. And I am so happy that we met online.”

“And you are blind.” He chuckles, leaning into your touch. “You are the one who is beautiful, kind and hilarious, you should be running from the disaster that I am. But for some reason you like spending time with me and I’m happy you do.”

“Me too. You’re not a disaster. You’re incredible.” You murmur, leaning in to press your lips to his. He tilts his head and you deepen the kiss, tangling your tongue with his. You kiss for a few moments until you break the kiss, kissing along his neck, and you shift to straddle him, your dress riding up your thighs.

Javi groans, his hands sliding up and down your thighs and he wonders what you are doing. He’s been good at not letting things go too far. “Sweetheart….” He pants, closing his eyes as he can’t believe he’s about to push you away. “Sweetheart, stop.” He murmurs.

You lean back and frown at him, “what’s wrong?” You ask, confused about why he’s pushing you away. “I don’t - not tonight.” He says and you shift off of him, “I don’t know - I’m confused. Am I - are you not attracted to me?” You question him, confused and hurt at him pushing you away.

“What?” He frowns at the question, looking at you like you are crazy. “No- no of course not. I am attracted to you.” He promises, but you shake your head, not believing him. “I am, sweetheart, I just- I’m trying to behave.” He tells you, shoving his hand through his hair and wishing you don’t look like he’s just broken up with you.

You shift to stand up, your stomach twisting, and you stare at him, “you’re trying to behave? I don’t want you to behave.” You look down at him, “I want you to fuck me. It’s been 2 months of dating. I never imagined you would go bowling, go to the movies like a teenager. I love that, don’t get me wrong, I loved all of our dates but God, Peña, I just want you to fuck me.” You exclaim, chest heaving.

Javi swallows harshly, watching you stand in front of him, practically begging him to fuck you. His mouth is dry and he rubs his hands on his thighs before he stands up. “Show me your bedroom, hermosa.” He demands. “You want me to fuck you, that’s where I’ll do it.”

His dark eyes are almost black and you see something in them that makes your stomach twist with arousal. “Baby, I want you.” You take his hand and guide him towards your bedroom, opening the door and you are nervous. Javier has had a lot of lovers. What if you don’t match up?

He’s groaning when he sees your bed and imagines spreading you out on it. You’ll look so pretty thoroughly fucked and exhausted. “I had a physical when I got back home.” Javi murmurs quietly. “And I haven’t slept with anyone, but I don’t have a condom.”

“I’m on birth control and I haven’t slept with anyone for a while.” You tell him and you reach for the tie of your wrap dress. You slowly untie it and let your dress fall open to expose the lingerie you picked out in hopes that Javier would touch you tonight.

“Fuck.” He exhales roughly, cock twitching in his pants as he takes in your curves, showcased in lace. “So fucking sexy.” He starts to unbutton his shirt as he strides closer, feeling cocky and yet also nervous because you are so important to him. “What were you thinking about when you got dressed? Me fucking you? I think about that a lot.”

“I was thinking about you. Fucking me. Touching me. I think about that a lot too.” You tell him and reach out to run your hands down his chest. “You’re so gorgeous, Javi.” You murmur, caressing his skin and you slide your hands up to push the shirt from his shoulders.

Javi hums, not used to really accepting compliments. Women would flatter him, in Colombia to earn a bit more, or to get him to fuck them. You, you have nothing but honesty and desire in your eyes and it’s thrilling. “Thought about it a lot too.” He admits with a smirk. “Too many cold showers lately.”

You giggle, “no more cold showers.” You promise and slide your hands lower to unbuckle his belt. You pull it from the loops and let it drop to the floor. You unbutton his jeans, reaching in to squeeze his hard cock and you are shocked to find he doesn’t wear underwear. “Oh God.” You gasp at the girth of him and you pull him out of his underwear.

Javi groans as your fingers wrap around him, twitching in your palm and glancing down at your hand engulfing him. “Fuck.” He hisses, eyes closing when you give him an experimental pump. “You seem surprised, hermosa.” He pants. “Rarely wear underwear. Too hot.”

“I didn’t know.” You admit, “God, didn’t know you had such a gorgeous cock. No wonder every woman from Texas to Colombia wanted you.” You pump him again, shifting down into your knees as you admire his girth and you lean in to wrap your lips around him.

“Shiiiiit.” He hisses, jaw clenching as he looks down at you on your knees in front of him. He’s imagined it, but this looks ever sexier than what he had thought. “Fuck baby, you thought about sucking my cock?” He asks, cupping your cheek. “You like doing it? I want to tongue fuck you. See how you like being licked.”

You moan around his cock at his filthy words, loving the way he talks dirty and it has you soaking your panties. You take him deeper, keeping your eyes on his, and you wrap your fingers around the back of his cock, starting to pump him.

“You’re good at this. Tell me you don’t love sucking cock, you could be a pro.” He grunts, caressing the hinge of your jaw and pushing slightly deeper. “Gonna be thinking about this when I’m working. My cock down your throat while you bat your eyes at me.”

You relax your jaw, letting him push deeper, and his words have you moaning around his cock. Fuck, he’s so gorgeous standing above you. His stomach is slightly soft but you love that. You are proud that he’s enjoying this when he’s had so much experience. You choke around him as you try to take him deeper. You exhale through your nose and try again, taking him deeper into your throat.

“Fuck, don’t hurt yourself, hermosa.” Javi groans, pulling you off of him slightly as he pulls his hips back. “Are you wet? Dripping from having my cock in your mouth? Why don’t you sit on my face while you do it? Let me eat your cunt.”

You nod, dripping wet from him and the idea of him eating you out while you suck him off. Pushing his jeans down, he kicks them off and is bare before you. You stand up on shaky legs and he steadies you. You lean in to kiss him, your tongue tangling with his and he pushes your dress from your shoulders.

He has a lot of experience with undressing a woman. His hands are skilled in stripping someone down and he does it with an eagerness that is more than just hungry for sex. He wants a connection, a bond that cannot be broken even when he pulls away.

You let him reach behind you to unclasp your bra, dragging the straps down your arms until it drops to the floor and your tits are exposed to his hungry gaze. "Javi!" You gasp when he grabs your back, pulling you close so he can duck down and take your nipple into his mouth.

He’s always been a greedy man. Sex is addictive. It's honestly just as addictive as the cocaine he had chased down and tried to prevent people from snorting up their noses. The feeling of losing himself, pleasure both given and received lets him forget about the problems or guilt that weighed him down. Now he gets to just feel you, learn what makes you cry in pleasure.

You moan as his hands slide down to squeeze your ass while he bites and sucks on your nipple until he switches to the other. His fingers hook into your panties and he pushes them down as he kisses along the swell of your breast. “Fuck, need more.” You whine, lightly pushing him away so you can kick your panties aside, patting the bed. “Lay down, baby.”

He chuckles at how eager you are. Following your orders and laying down, giving himself plenty of room away from the headboard. Watching as you peruse his body, your own eyes just as hungry as he knows his are.

You shift to kneel on the bed, shuffling up the bed until you face away from him and straddle his chest. His hands immediately go to your hips to drag you backwards to hover over his face and you bend down to take his cock into your hand.

Javi groans as he takes in the sight of your soaked folds. They are perfect and puffy, soaking wet because of your want of him. His fingers dig into your hips and he pulls you back more so he can flatten his tongue against your folds.

You cry out when he slides his tongue through your folds, making you grind back onto him. “Fuck baby. That’s good.” You whimper and lean down so you can take his cock into your mouth with a moan, wanting him to feel just as good.

Javi groans happily, enjoying the tang of your juices on his tongue. Licking into your cunt eagerly and making it messy. Groaning again when your mouth wraps around his cock again.

You love how he moans into your flesh and you grip his cock, sloppily sucking his cock as you want him to enjoy this as much as you are. You love how enthusiastic he is, sucking your clit into his mouth and you moan around his cock again.

He continues to lick into you, rocking your hips back and burying his tongue deep inside your soaked walls. Twitching in your mouth and groaning when a dribble of precum is spurted into your mouth as you suck.

You moan, hollowing your cheeks around his cock as you take him deeper, rocking back on his face as he sucks on your clit a little harder. It’s so good. You moan and pull off of his cock, continuing to pump him in your hand.

Javi moans into your folds, pulling back slightly. “I don’t want to cum yet.” He grunts before he is diving back in to make you cum.

You huff but loosen your grip on his cock, not taking him back into your mouth but he ducks harder on your clit. You rest your cheek on his thigh as he slides his tongue inside of you. You pant, “God baby. You’re gonna make me cum.” You moan, so close to your orgasm as he pushes his tongue deeper.

That’s the point. He doesn’t stop, speeding up his tongue as it flicks through your walls and pulls you back more firmly on his face. Willing you to cum for him, wanting to hear you and taste you.

You rock back onto his face, unashamed of your need and lust for him, and you moan his name when you fall over the edge. Your thighs gripping his face as he works you through it. “Javi. Oh shit. Baby, I - oh God.” You ramble against his thigh.

Javi loves it. The slick of your release covering his mouth and jaw as he works you through it. Keeping ahold of your hips and your cunt firm to his mouth until you are whimpering his name as a little protest.

He pushes you over the edge and keeps pushing, making you hiss as you get overstimulated. "Javi." You whine his name again, needing him to pull back and he relents, leaning away from your cunt with a groan. You sigh, closing your eyes, "God, so good." You murmur, taking a moment to ride your high.

Javi pants, licking his lips as he strokes your ass. He knows that feeling, riding the wave. He would need a cigarette if he hadn’t been using the patches and he still hasn’t even cum. Shoving his arm under his head, he watches you shift off of him a few minutes later. His cock is throbbing but he doesn’t mind.

You shift to lay beside him, leaning in to kiss him, and he turns his head so you can slide your tongue against his. You moan into the kiss, uncaring about your tangy cum on his lips, and you slide your hand down to grip his cock, squeezing him before you pump him slowly. "You're too good, Javi. How do you want me?" You ask, wanting him to enjoy this in case you don't cum again. You've already gotten more than you would have from other lovers.

Javi groans into your mouth. “I like to kiss and be close.” He admits. “But sometimes I change positions.” He rolls onto you and slides his hand down to bring your thigh up to his hip. “Start this way and end up however we do?”

You nod, sliding your hands along his back, loving the way his muscles flex under your touch. "Sounds perfect." You murmur and he reaches between you to position his cock at your entrance. You close your eyes as he pushes inside of you, your head tilting back while you silently moan at the stretch.

He watches you closely, loving how expressive you are. How you don’t care about how you look. You care about how you feel, how he is making you feel. It looks like you are feeling good and he wants to make you always feel this way. “So pretty.” He moans quietly. “So goddamn pretty and all mine. My pretty girl.”

You slide your hands up into his hair, "yours. All yours." You promise, lifting your legs so you can wrap them around his hips. He sinks deeper inside of you and you whimper, "God, you feel so good inside of me. Move, please." You beg, "don't care if you cum too fast. You already made me cum."

Javi snorts and shakes his head. “Fuck no.” He grunts, pulling his hips back to surge forward again. “Not going to do that to you.” He hisses out, eyes rolling back when you clench down around him. His lips find your skin and he starts to kiss, everywhere he can reach as he starts to move.

His lips on your skin have you on fire, rocking your hips up to meet his thrusts, and you caress his back, loving the way he feels covering your body. You tilt your head back so he can kiss down your neck until you grab his cheeks, bringing his mouth back to yours and you moan into his mouth, tangling your tongue with his as he rocks into you.

Every thrust of his hip makes both of you pant in pleasure, breath exchanged and mingled together as the two of you move. Javi slides his arms around your body and pulls you up close, sinking deeper as he pushes into you again and again.

He drops his hips and he grinds against your clit, making you gasp in pleasure, and he smirks, focusing on that spot again. “Good girl.” He murmurs and the praise makes you push your heels into his ass to press him deeper inside of you. “Shit. Feels so good. I - never felt like this before.” You admit breathlessly, getting closer and closer.

“Good.” It’s not good that you’ve never been fucked properly, but he’s glad you are making sure that you get the attention you deserve. “You feel so good. Tight little pussy squeezing my cock.” He praises roughly. “Could spend all night right here.”

His words make you gush around him and he caresses your thigh as he rocks into you, making you moan when he hits something just right. “Yes. Yes. Javier. Fuck, right there. That - oh God!” You squeal as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him, and his name echoes on your bedroom walls as you cum around him for the first time.

“Fuuuuuck.” He growls, slowly thrusting into you as you fall apart on his cock. Loving how tight you get, how wet. Bracing his knees on the bed, he pulls you up until you are in his lap.

You gasp, feeling him sink deeper and press against your cervix in this position. Your hands grip his waist and you scramble to brace your feet on the bed. “God, Javi.” You cry out when he starts to rock his hips again. “Yes. Love - love this.” You choke out, tilting your head back.

He groans as he rolls his hips up, using his thighs as he works in and out of you. “Fuck, you’re-“ he chokes out, gasping your name when you squeeze him inside your walls again. “Fuck, hermosa.” He hisses, lunging forward and biting down on your jaw as the thrusts become sharper, snapping his hips up.

You love the way he bites as he nips and kisses down your neck until he’s taking your nipple into his mouth. You tangle one hand in his hair, tugging on it to bring his mouth back to yours. Your tongues slide against each other while he thrusts into you and you use your feet to grind down onto him. “Shit. You got me worked up. Might cum again.” You pant against his chin.

“Do it.” He huffs, his hands sliding up and down your back, gripping your ass as he grinds into you. “Cum all over me again. Wanna feel it. So good.” He babbles slightly, hoping you are enjoying this as much as you seem to be. It’s been awhile since he’s had sex but he’s holding out. Jerking off before the date had been a good idea.

You pant, rocking down onto him and it doesn’t take long but it does take you by surprise when you cum again, clamping down on his cock and soaking him for the second him. Your chest heaves as you tilt your head back, moaning his name as you experience bliss once more.

Javi takes that opportunity to kiss along your throat, licking and biting your skin as he rocks up into you, fucking you through your orgasm. Starting to move a little faster as he chases his own pleasure, while the grunts and groans get louder.

You try to rock down onto him, wanting him to cum, and you tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging his face to yours. "Cum for me, Javi." You plead, leaning in to kiss him while he grunts into your mouth.

It doesn’t take many more thrusts, stiffening and moaning your name into your mouth, his cock pulsing deep inside you. Flooding your cunt with ropes of his sticky seed while he pants in pleasure. “Fuck.”

You smile against his chin as he relaxes beneath you, shifting you to lay you down on your pillows. You feel like you're floating as he leans in to gently nip your chin. "So fucking good." You murmur, "rumors were not wrong."

He chuckles quietly. “Glad I could live up to the hype.” He teases. “Fuck- I wish I had a cigarette.” He groans. “Nothing better than a cigarette after amazing sex.”

You sigh, caressing his cheek, "I don't have any cigarettes, baby." You murmur, "sorry." You lean in to kiss his cheek and he nods, "it's okay. I'm trying to quit." You shift to lay down and he pulls out of you, shuffling off the bed to head into your bathroom for a rag so he can clean you up.

Javi cleans up quickly and brings the rag back, damp and soapy to make sure you are wiped clean before he tosses it back into the sink. Not sure if you want him to lay with you, he stands in the doorway and looks at you laying in your bed like a warm puddle, boneless and content. It makes him smile, watching you almost glow in the aftereffects.

“Come here.” You pat the bed and he nods, slipping back into the bed with you after he pulls the comforter from under you. You curl into his chest, swinging your leg over his hip, “are you going to stay the night? I’ve been told I make great pancakes.”

“If you want me to.” Javi settles back against the pillows and holds you close, his fingers tracing the lines of your back as you cuddle close. The fan spins lazily above you and he feels completely relaxed. “I’ll do whatever you want me to.” He chuckles. “Had no other plans, except maybe logging online and talking to this girl I’ve been seeing.”

You grin against his peck, “is she nice?” You ask and Javier smirks and shrugs one shoulder, “she’s alright.” You playfully slap his chest but he grabs your hand and brings it to his lips to kiss the back of it. “I want you to stay.” You murmur, turning your head to kiss his chest.

Javi hums happily and agrees. “Then I’ll stay.” He promises. “But your pancakes better be worth it.” He teases, happy that he had found someone that it was so natural to be with, in and out of bed.

You snort, “just you wait, Peña.” You promise and snuggle into his side again, enjoying the closeness between you.

****

Javier groans as he walks into the kitchen, his jeans on and unbuttoned after he cleaned up in the bathroom. He rubs his eyes and you turn around to look at him, dressed in his shirt. “Pancakes are ready.” You declare, setting a plate down on the table for him but you grab the can of whipped cream to squirt a smiley face on the top cake for him.

He huffs in amusement as he looks down at the smiley face on his pancakes. “Did I do that good fucking you last night?” He teases as he reaches around and pats your ass. “I get the special pancakes?” The last time he had seen this was on a kids menu in some pancake diner. It’s cute and he pulls you down for a kiss.

You giggle against his lips, pecking them a few times, "you did real good, baby. Wanted to show you my appreciation. You said you've been hungrier since you quit smoking so I figured you'd want a big breakfast. Bacon and eggs are nearly done."

“I could have helped you.” He had slept longer than he meant to, intending to wake up with you this morning. However, when he opened his eyes, he was all alone in the bed. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do this. I could have taken you out.”

You shake your head, “I woke up early and didn’t want to wake you up. You looked peaceful. I know you’ve been up early with your dad so you needed the sleep. I like cooking, I like taking care of you.” You confess, biting your lip as you plate up the eggs and bacon and set the plate on the table.

Javi softens and smiles at you. “I’m not complaining at all, sweetheart.” He promises. “I really appreciate it.” He gets up to grab the two mugs of coffee you have poured. “Let’s eat while your hard work is hot.” He tells you, pulling out your chair for you to sit.

You sit down, picking up your knife and fork to dig in to eat and your eyes meet Javier’s as he groans when he takes a bite of your pancakes. “Good?” You ask and he hums, swallowing his bite. “So fucking good.” You grin, proud that he likes them. You watch him eat, enjoying the product of your labor and you notice him staring at you. “Do I have something on my face?” You ask, reaching for the napkin.

“No.” Javi shakes his head and forks up another bite of eggs. “Just admiring how pretty you are without makeup on.” He admits. “You are pretty with it, but I think you’re even more beautiful without it.”

You fluster, cheeks warming at his compliment. Something soft that you never really expected from Javier Peña, especially the one you knew from childhood. “Thank you. I like the five o clock shadow on you.” You gesture to his unshaved face.

“Yeah.” He rubs his face with his hand, feeling the raspiness of the hair growing in. “Can’t grow a beard for shit though.” He snorts. “Comes in all patchy.”

You lean closer, resting your elbow on the table, “sexy no matter what.” You promise and he offers you a bashful smile, making your heart flutter.

****

You wrap your arms around his neck, swaying to the music. Javier decided to take you to the fair that’s happening a town over and you are currently on the makeshift dance floor, swaying to the music played by the teenage band.

“Are you having a good time?” Javi asks, pulling you a little closer and leaning his cheek against yours as the band plays. Tonight has been wonderful, but he can’t remember a time that he’s not had a good time around you. You’ve played some games and ridden some rides, had plenty of fair food, and now he gets to hold you close.

"Always with you, baby." You promise, breathing him in. He's become your home, your person to vent to, to cry with, to laugh with. You've never experienced anything like this.

He leans back to look at you and you lean forward to nudge your nose against him. "I love you." He blurts out and you pull back in surprise. Neither of you have mentioned your feelings yet but you are shocked that he was the first one to say anything. He looks surprised with himself then he gets nervous and you cup his cheek, "I love you too." You declare, leaning forward to brush your lips with his.

Javi smiles against your lips, his fingers digging into your waist as he deepens the kiss. He is home, in mind, body and spirit. Healing every day while sharing himself with you. Your accounts are both canceled, no need to chat online, now that you have each other.

#pedro pascal #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña smut #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña imagine #javier peña narcos

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the-californicationist · 1 month ago

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Cali's Kinktober: Day 13

Kinktober Masterlist pulvis et umbra sumus - "we are dust and shadow" TF141 x f!reader Kinks > monsters, knotting, ritual magic sex in a cave Full tags on AO3 - MDNI - Read at your own risk.

Monster AU where the TF141 are gargoyles. You love your shitty 87th floor apartment, you really do. Sure, the view is mostly fog and smog and clouds, but your balcony is shielded by four awesome gargoyles. You spend long nights admiring their statuesque figures wishing they could come to life and please you since no human man seems to be able to. Be careful what you wish for, I guess?

Warning: short part with an abusive ex-boyfriend, but he gets gargoyled pretty quickly, so it's short-lived.

Rain pelted the grimy, floor-to-ceiling windows of your apartment. It seemed like it was always raining. You loved living downtown in District 10, you really did, but damn if it wasn’t hard to meet people. Sure, millions of people lived in the city right alongside you, but other than a few dates to the ramen shop around the corner, your attempts to find The One had fallen flat.

It was the same song and dance. They’d ask what you did for a living, and if they stuck around after you told them that you were a professional streamer, they either thought you were rich or that you wanted to flash your pussy on camera for money. Either way, the only guys who stuck around after they made their judgements about your job were either disappointed by your shitty studio apartment or were terrible in the sack. Clearly, they just wanted an easy lay and never called you again.

You didn’t really have anyone to complain to since your best friend abandoned you for Topeka, of all places, to get married and have a litter of babies. You were happy for her, truly, but bitching to a woman who was cherished by her man about your shitty Tinder dates was a dark, dark time that you didn’t care to have.

So, you smoked, and you told your gargoyles all about it.

Your apartment was unique in the fact that you had the entire patio to yourself, and it was shielded from the wind by the outstretched wings of four enormous gargoyles. They were huge, at least seven feet tall, and their bodies looked like they were ready to compete in the next strongman world championship.

You’d named them all, of course. There was the spooky one with a skull-shaped mask over his face and huge fangs that you called Mr. Bones, one with a mohawk that you named Mr. T, a supermodel-hot statue that you named Mr. Vain, and your favorite one, the biggest of them all and the guardian that sat right next to your bed, Mr. Big.

That’s where you found yourself tonight. You were crouched in your usual spot, tucked in an oversized raincoat, a pair of wellies, and nothing else, smoking a cigarette under the protective wings of Mr. Big.

You watched the tip glow golden bright as you took a drag, holding it in longer than normal, hoping to feel something other than disappointed.

“He was such a jerk, Big. Didn’t even bring a condom. Not sure someone with a dick that small should have that sort of audacity, ya know?”

Mr. Big didn’t reply. He looked out over the dense, foggy night and shielded you from the rain, keeping you dry while you smoked.

You leaned against his chest as he crouched over you, raking your eyes over his body with more appraisal than you usually did, confessing aloud,

“I bet you’ve got cock for days under that loincloth. And I bet you’d pay for a babe’s dinner. Maybe even buy her a strawberry shake afterwards. Bet you wouldn’t ask to come up; you’d just wait to be invited. And I bet you’d bring your own damn condoms to a third date, huh?”

He loomed. You sighed,

“Yeah, I know you would. You know what?”

At that very moment, you gazed up into the sky as the clouds shifted and cleared, revealing a heavy, orange harvest moon. You spotted a streak of falling stars out of the corner of your eye, and you watched as they crossed the moon’s body, falling towards earth, burning up a million miles away, and you said,

“I wish you guys were real.”

You watched the stars vanish over the horizon, and you took one last drag off of your cigarette, flinging it off the side like a nasty little gremlin, not caring where it landed or what catastrophe you had just contributed to. This whole world was fucked. What was one more cigarette butt, right?

“But, you’re not real, Mr. Big. Maybe one day you’ll wake up and come save me from this damn carousel of nightmares. You and your buddies could fly me around, give me a mindblowing fuck, and steal me away from here. Wouldn’t that be something?”

You stood up next to him, barely tall enough to reach his face even though he was crouched over. You caressed his cheek, wiping the raindrops from his brow, and lifted yourself up to kiss him on the corner of his bearded mouth, right where his fang protruded from the lip, round and sharp like a boar’s tusk.

“Goodnight, Mr. Big. See you in the morning.”

You toweled dry as you stepped through the window, using the same old towel you’d been using all week, making a mental note to get around to the laundry. Then, you snuggled under the covers, checking your notifications and getting upset that there weren’t more (even though you’d just checked them before you went out to smoke). Maybe you would have to start flashing your tits online if you wanted to make the real bucks.

You flipped your phone over and went to sleep, begging your brain to give you filthy gargoyle dreams.

Once dawn’s glow yanked you from your peaceful slumber, you’d forgotten all about why you’d been so sad. You forgot about Dan, or David (Darren?), whatever his name was. You hopped online and said hi to your early birds, fitting the headphones over your ears just to let them know you’d be back in a bit. Then, you had a quick shower, ducked out for half of a smoke, and got to work.

The day turned into night, and everything was great. The games were fun, chat was a riot, and you even got raided by one of your favorite mutuals. You ordered some takeout and video-chatted with some friends. You even hopped on the stream again for a double feature. All the darkness from the night before was lifted, and you felt like you might be alright. But, then, just as the sun was setting, you got a text.

donny-Hinge: hey babe. left my charger. can i come by in 15

you: sure

donny-Hinge: k thx

“Ugh!” You audibly exclaimed, forgetting you were still online.

Chat started pouring in with questions and asks about the text. Tell us! They exclaimed. What happened, momma?? They begged to know.

You thought about it for a minute, but you decided that your shitty love life was one thing you weren’t ready to own up to online, so you side-stepped,

“Forgot I had to take a friend to the airport. Gotta cut this short tonight, sorry. Love you guys! Don’t forget to live, laugh, love, like, share, sub!” You rolled your eyes at your own catchphrase and waved goodbye.

You flung down your headset and did a few soothing spins in your computer chair before deciding that you needed to kick this dude to the curb.

“What’s the sluttiest outfit I’ve got so this asshole knows what he’s missing?” You asked Mr. Vain who was sitting outside your bathroom window, looking bored.

“Coachella last year?” You dug around in the drawer and pulled out the too-short, can’t-wear-this-in-public slip dress, looking at Mr. Vain one last time before nodding, “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

You wiggled into the fit, mangled up your hair into a careless rumpled mess, and threw on some eyeliner to top it all off. Then, you waited. You checked your phone. You waited again. You paced. Then, you had a smoke to try and calm your nerves.

You huddled next to Mr. Big’s giant forearm and looked up at his bearded jaws from below,

“Still not real, huh? I could really use a big, scary beast for some support right now. Why does breaking up with losers still feel so shitty? He doesn’t deserve me, right?”

Mr. Big said nothing. He loomed, and nothing more.

“Right,” you whispered, starting to worry about yourself now that you were carrying on multiple daily conversations with statues.

Your door buzzed. Dumbo was here for his charger.

You fixed yourself, checking your eyeliner for just the perfect amount of smudge, and then you cracked open the door. The man was there, looking a little too well-dressed, and he sauntered into your apartment without saying so much as a hello.

“Uh, hi,” you spat.

“Hey, sorry,” he frowned, looking around for the charger under your clothes pile, “Can’t stay. Gonna meet up with the boys at Six Hands tonight.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, feeling a little more than just put out.

“Ah, here it is,” he dragged the charger out from under your desk and wrapped it up.

“I don’t wanna see you again,” you blurted out.

He looked up at you, noticing you for the first time, eyeing your dress and your makeup, furrowing his brow,

“Why not? Didn’t you have fun last night?”

You didn’t like his sly tone,

“No, so just, lose my number, okay?”

“C’mon, baby. Don’t be like that,” he stepped into your space and put your hair behind your ear. You fucking hated when guys tucked your hair behind your ear.

You smacked his hand away,

“Don’t touch me. Just go.”

“Is that why you’re dressed like a fuckin’ slut? You gonna call some other guy up here?” His contempt filled the room, making your alarm bells clatter and peal inside of your head.

“No. Leave! Now.”

“Listen,” he took another step into your space, dragging his finger under the strap of your dress and purposefully letting it fall off of your shoulder, “How about you drop the attitude and let me hit it before I go out, and I’ll come back tonight and we can watch a movie.”

You used both hands to shove him away from you, hating how little he moved backwards,

“Fuck you! Get out of my house.”

“You don’t have to be such a bitch!” He shouted at you, grabbing you around the wrist and knocking you off balance.

Then, all of a sudden, he stopped. His face became even paler than it already was, and he stared out of the window behind you. He scrambled to drop your wrist and bolted for the door, not even bothering to shut it behind him.

“Yeah! You shouted after him, fixing your shoulder strap, “Get the hell out and don’t come back!”

You shut the door and locked the top and bottom deadbolts, upset with yourself for how badly you were shaking.

“What an asshole,” you muttered under your breath as you turned around. Then, you looked up, and that’s when you saw him.

“Mr. Big?!”

The giant, hulking gargoyle that you sat by every night was standing, full height, right outside your window. He used his immense paw to open the window and stepped through it, staring right at you with unnaturally blue eyes. He was still not a human color, but at least he wasn’t made of stone. His flesh was textured, sort of scaled in a way, and hairline cracks that looked like scars covered him like a broken eggshell. His hair and beard were shaggy and brown, and even though he was enormous, he was graceful, tucking his black wings behind his back to keep from knocking over all of your shelves.

“Are you alright, love?” His voice came out like a roaring, tumbling sea, and yet, it was as gentle as a purr.

“I… This… You! You are! You’re… you’re a statue! How…” You backed away from him, and he did not pursue you. He simply stood there, focused on you, patiently letting you figure it out, “You’re Mr. Big, and you’re in my damn house!”

“I am John. We come when our mate calls to us.”

“What? John? No,” you sat on the bed, wrenching your eyes shut, “This isn’t happening. Fuck, I actually am out of my mind. I don’t have insurance. I can’t afford fucking gargoyle visions. Fuck!”

You heard the flutter of wings and your eyes darted up to see Mr. T and Mr. Bones squeezing themselves into your tiny home,

John nodded to them,

“This is Soap and Ghost. Your memories will return to you, my love,” he turned to address them, “Did you find him?”

Ghost let out a dark chuckle full of fire and brimstone,

“Aye, he screamed like a fuckin’ pussy.”

“Who?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

Soap answered you in a surprisingly smooth brogue,

“Your wee suitor, lass. Tried to run, but he couldnae get very far.”

“Did…” You felt your blood rush out of your body, “Did you kill him?”

Ghost, his skin a steely gray with black cracks running across his flesh, his wings a bony ash color and splotched with tears and scars, his eyes an impossible hazel shade, gleaming behind the huge skull mask, stalked over to you, crouching down to look at you closer, studying you. Then, he took his clawed hand and untucked the hair from behind your ear, lifting your locks to his fearsome muzzle to smell your shampoo. He smiled (you weren’t exactly sure if it was a smile or not), and said,

“Would you like me to? Because, right now, he’s hanging off the side of a fuckin’ tanker ship headed for the bloody south Pacific. He’d be easy to capture and –”

“No! No,” you shook your head, “Thank you. That’s… that is a great spot for him. Alive.”

“You must have questions, pet,” a fourth voice spoke over your shoulder, startling you and making you jump out of your skin, “Surely you must remember me; your Gaz, your favorite.”

It was Mr. Vain. The others gave him a glare for his comment, but he did have a way of stealing the show. His skin was a shimmering copper, and golden cracks cut through his flesh. His wings were an iridescent green patina, and his eyes were a deep brown. He was every bit as beautiful in real life as he’d been as a statue, and you had a hard time looking away from him.

“I’m…” You tried to ask something. Anything. You should have questions, right? Normal people would have questions. Finally, you whispered, “What is happening to me?”

John came to crouch beside you, his thick tail curling around his feet, tucking itself out of the way, and he dropped his voice into that deep purr of his,

“You called us here, love. You needed us, and we were awakened. We have listened to your struggles. For years we have kept you safe in this…” He looked around with a frown of disapproval, “... bloody meager estate, waiting for the night you would bring us back to this plane of existence to mate with you and take you home to claim your rightful place on the throne of Evenhold. Your people need you. We need you. You are the last hope for our kind.”

You listened to him and tried your best to keep a straight face,

“You have got to be fucking with me right now. This is not real. You are not real!”

To your shock, instead of doubling down, he looked hurt by your comments. His eyes peered down at you as if he wanted to make you see the truth, like he wanted to convince you of his words, but he held himself back.

Soap came over to you, his pale flesh gleaming like a pearl under the moonlight, the cracks of his skin a cerulean blue, and his wings fading from navy to black at the very tips,

“Bonnie, I ken how it sounds. But, you didnae meet your mother nor your father, aye?”

“No, I grew up with my Grandma Val–”

“Valeria, the Witch of the Four Winds,” Soap confirmed, sitting down beside Ghost, “She protected you until her death. So, you came here, to this city, and –”

“And this apartment… the deal was so good, I couldn’t pass it up,” your brain was reaching around in the dark, looking for the light. It was making your head spin.

“Did you never wonder how you could afford it, lass? Didnae you remember Darkhollow? The River Binn? Everhold Keep? We ran together as rooks through the halls, stealing burchfruit from the ta–”

John cut him off, his eyes studying you in the darkness,

“Enough. Sorcerer Cael stole her memories the same night he fuckin’ murdered the Emperor and the Empress. She knows nothing of home. But, we can help her remember.”

You reached out to him, touching his cheek in such a familiar way, and yet, experiencing it anew,

“How?”

“We will take you as our mate. Through our magic, you can use our memories to rebuild what you’ve lost,” John cupped your hand in his huge paw, bringing it to his fanged mouth, and kissing your palm reverently.

“We know that you have been…” Gaz smirked, “... disappointed by suitors in this realm. But, we will help you remember the kind of mate the Empress of Evenhold deserves.”

“Trust us, lass,” Soap lifted your chin up to look into your face, “We will set things right. We’ll take you home.”

Ghost crawled beside you on the bed, and the mattress dipped beneath his heavy frame,

“You are our guiding star, love. We’ll do whatever you ask of us. If you want us to leave, we fuckin’ will. Just say the word, and you’ll never see us again.”

At his oath, you felt something twist in your heart. No! That was wrong. You belonged together. These were your protectors. You needed them as much as they needed you.

“No. You belong with me,” you said, planting a soft kiss on the side of Ghost’s mask, “Help me remember.”

“We won’t be back here, love. Are you sure you’re ready to go?” John asked you, standing at full height.

The others stood with him, waiting for your word.

You thought about checking your phone, or putting an away message up on your profiles, but what would be the reason? If you wouldn’t be back here, you’d just disappear. You’d fade away from memory just like any other streamer who logged on for the last time and never came back. It happened all the time. Your parents were dead, you didn’t have any family, and your friend would be okay without you. What was keeping you here?

“Let me wash my face, and then we’ll go,” you said, ducking into the bathroom to braid your hair out of your face and wash the eyeliner off of your eyes. You looked at yourself in the mirror, and for the first time in a long while, you enjoyed looking at the person that you saw. You looked brave. You looked ready. You looked like you were about to have the ride of your fuckin’ life.

You slid an extra hair tie around your wrist and met the gargoyle army in your bedroom.

“Okay, I’m ready for the magic mating ritual, I think. Do you wanna do it here, or…”

“No, love,” John chuckled warmly, “We’ll take you to the portal. Your power will ignite the beacon.”

“Where is that?” You asked, feeling a little deflated.

“Far from here. C’mon, love. Need to beat the sun,” John grabbed your waist and held you against his chest. He wrapped his tail around your body protectively, and you watched in horror as the other three dove through the window, spreading their wings out over the midnight fog.

“Oh, fuck. Are we flying there? Holy shit! Wait, wait, wait…”

The next thing you knew, you were sailing through the air, gliding down from your bedroom window and out into the night sky.

“It’s alright, love. Hold onto me,” John chuckled, amused by your panicked response.

“Fuck!” You whispered, burying yourself in John’s broad chest, clutching at his waist as hard as you could.

You could feel the powerful beat of his wings as he gained altitude, the rush of wind subsiding when you emerged above the clouds, and the moon looked as if it hung close enough for you to grab it, bright and glowing in the black sky.

You were breathing in rushed gasps, and you didn’t know if you should laugh or cry. John sensed your distress, and he held you tighter against his warm body.

“Shh,” he pet you gently, and you felt his claws trace delicate lines down your back. For some reason, it lulled you into a dazed state, and you thought you might pass out, “Sleep, pretty girl. I’ve got you.”

A few more minutes went by, and with each delicate pass of his claws, you watched the stars scatter above you, more and more of them coming into your view as you escaped from the city, and you closed your eyes and let your guardian take you away with him.

When you awoke, you were still flying with John, but you were descending on a small hilltop.

“Where are we?” You asked in a low voice.

John pointed below,

“The portal is here. I’ve sent the lads on ahead to prepare the ritual. We won’t beat the dawn unless we hurry.”

“What happens at dawn?”

“We turn to stone. You’ll be left unprotected.”

“Is that what these are?” You asked, tracing the cracked lines in his skin, “From where you broke free?”

“Yes,” John nodded, “We wear them with fuckin’ pride, love. We’re soldiers. It is our duty and our right to be your guardians.”

“In the… At home, do you turn to stone in the sunlight?”

He paused, and you wished you could hear his thoughts, but after a few moments he said,

“No, only here.”

Something about his answer saddened you. You wanted to wipe all of that pain away from his face. You needed to see him in the light of day. To see him happy. You felt so strongly about it, and it made you wish that you had called for him sooner.

“Could you hear me when you were frozen?”

“Yes, love,” he smiled, swooping his wings to land with you on the soft grass, “Every word.”

He placed you down carefully, and as he did, he bent forward, wrapped his wings around you, and kissed you. You leaned into his touch, enveloped in his dark embrace, feeling the bristle of his beard and the fullness of his lips. He tasted like holiday spices and raw honey. His sweetness and heat blending together on your tongue and making you dizzy with want.

“Tryin’ to get a head start, Captain?” Gaz’s voice rang out over your shoulder.

You were unfurled from John’s wings and released from his kiss, but he kept a possessive hand around your waist.

“Captain?” You turned to ask him what that meant.

“We’re soldiers, remember? I’m the Captain of the Imperial Guard. My two sergeants,” he pointed to Gaz and Soap, “and my lieutenant,” he nodded to Ghost.

“C’mere, love,” Ghost pulled you away from John and brought you over to the entrance of a large cave.

The mouth of the cave was hidden behind vines and overgrowth, but you could barely make out the ancient carvings that were etched into the side of the round entrance.

“This is the portal, lass. Your magic opens the door, and we can go home.”

“I don’t know how to do magic,” you looked at him for help.

“We’ll show you. Let us help you remember, love,” John purred darkly behind you, joining you on the side opposite Ghost, taking your hand and guiding you into the cave.

Once inside, you saw a large, flat altar, carved with runes and symbols, and all along the back wall of the cave were huge scenes of war and destruction, patterned in gold and silver and bronze etchings. In the images, you saw hordes of gargoyles fighting against an evil wizard who carried a long staff and cast fiery spells across villages and castles, destroying everything in his path.

But, you couldn’t dwell on the images for long. Your warriors had other plans. John guided you to his arms once more, kissing you chastely this time, before untying his loincloth and revealing his unbelievable cock.

When he saw the look on your face, his mouth stretched into a smug grin, and he pumped his wings, proudly beating them once and then twice to stir the air in the large cave, purring deep inside his chest.

His dick wasn’t just large. It was impossible. There was no way that thing was going to fit inside of you without some sort of feat of strength. As the others disrobed, standing beside their leader, you saw how much of a challenge this venture truly was.

Their cockheads were covered in layers of foreskin that lay across their head like the petals of a flower. They were thin and smooth, and it made the tip of their dick look like the head of a blooming rose. John had more petals than the others, while Gaz had only three or four, but his were large, like a drooping magnolia, hiding the fist-sized glans underneath.

The shaft of John’s cock was studded with smooth, marble-like protrusions, which, as he rubbed his hand over them, swelled and leaked, producing his own lubricant for him as he worked his phallus to a high, glossy shine. On the underside of the body, two soft bands of flesh hung down like lips on a mouth, creating a flared feature along the base of his cock.

At the root of his shaft, John had a bulging, pulsing knot. It looked like it was throbbing with its own heartbeat, and it wrapped itself around his entire girthy base, making your mouth water.

Their physiology was as unique as it was inhuman. Gaz only had three marble protrusions, none of the soft bands on his undercarriage, but a hefty, engorged knot. Ghost’s cock was board-straight, covered in a chaotic mess of marble bumps, making his whole prick drip and drool onto the cave floor without him even needing to touch it.

Soap was the only one who had pulled his petals down over his blunt cockhead to reveal it to you. It was bright pink and swollen, looking every bit like a smooth, silky peach. The large slit in the center held a bead of precome, ready to be smeared across either of your lips. His shaft was curved like a bow, and you noticed that the flared flesh at his base looked like a plush bed of fox coral, bending and furling like fine lace on the hem of a dress.

“Our mate is pleased,” Gaz noted, sniffing the air and licking his fangs with a skillful tongue.

You made your way over to John, eyeing Gaz as he tugged on his giant ballsack, fondling his heavy pearls and comforting himself as he admired you. John was breathing hard, his belly filling with air, his rolling purr growing louder as you got closer to him.

You knelt on the soft dirt floor of the cave and began to lick and suck at the knot on the base of John’s cock. He growled, flapping his wings with excitement,

“No, love,” he peered down at you, “Let us care for you.”

“I want to taste you,” you looked at the other beasts circling around you, casting long shadows over you with the shuddering wings, “All of you.”

“Your wish is our command, Empress,” Ghost snarled, fisting his cock in his claws and presenting it to you like a treat.

You used both of your hands to rub his shaft, letting his silky lube collect in your palms and drip down your wrists. You began prying his soft petals apart with the tip of your tongue, discovering how sensitive they were. By the time you found his head, he was drooling wet for you, filling the center of his flower with clear, shining precome. You drank from him, sucking the sticky fluid like nectar from a buttercup, sighing when you found it sweet.

John chuffed, impatient with his lieutenant for cutting the line, and you looked up at him and smiled, showing him your tongue as it dripped with Ghost’s wet promises. Then, you brought your attention back to your biggest guardian, taking care to use both hands to roll the flesh of his shaft up and down the hefty appendage. You let your thumb dip into his furled folds that ran along his base, and he hissed, instinctively using his paw to cradle the back of your head and encourage you further.

You obeyed his silent command, using your lips to kiss inside of his crown of closed petals, slurping and drinking the sweet gift you discovered inside. As you kissed his cockhead, the fleshy flower surrounding his tip tickled your lips and nose and chin, spreading their honey over your whole face, coating you in him and his heady scent.

Gaz reached down to touch your breast inside your dress, his huge claws tickling over the smoothness of your skin, making you gasp.

“So fuckin’ bonnie, innit she?” Soap admired you, taking position on the other side to fondle and feel your other heavy teat, using his claws to draw aching spirals all the way up to your nipple.

You were fully suckling on John’s wide head, now. He was pouring clear, shining precome down your throat, and you were swallowing it into your belly as if it were his come. Then, Gaz took you from him, guiding your chin over to his hanging prick, smiling at you as you nuzzled it, handsfree, into your lips. His wide petals covered most of your face, spreading his slick over your cheeks and down your throat, sticking themselves to your skin. Then, Johnny took your hand and held it in his own, making you rub his curved length until he was trembling for you. You took turns sucking from them both, realizing that the more you sucked, the more delicious fluid they made.

John petted your hair lovingly, drawing your attention away from his soldiers and back to him. You looked into his glowing blue eyes, mesmerized by his magic, and gave him your best doe-eyed face, hoping your hunter would take his shot.

“The sun is nearly here, Empress. There will be plenty of nights to play together ahead of us, but we must open the portal.”

You rose to your feet, shocked by how small you were compared to the monsters that surrounded you, and let John lead you to the altar. He lifted you up and knelt down in front of you, using his long, blue tongue to lick his way up the side of your thigh. When he found your heat, his chest shook with a stifled roar, and he grabbed your hips in his paws to crush you to his face. Ghost stood beside him, peeling off your black slip dress to make you naked, and he and Gaz held your legs wide for their captain. Soap crawled upon the altar to feed his tongue into your mouth, fucking your throat in long, gentle licks just as John stuffed his into your warm pussy.

Ghost and Gaz suckled from your breasts, pulling and plucking at your nipples in deep, vacuumed mouthfuls, making you feel like you were being eaten alive from the inside and the outside of your whole body. Your orgasm hit your body before your mind registered that you were coming. You jerked, arching your back and screaming out from the base of your throat, begging for mercy.

Your gargoyles pet you with their claws in that same, somnolent way that John had while you were flying, and you felt yourself relax into your orgasm, riding it out in long, suffocating waves.

“You are so tight, love,” John looked up from his eating, his eyes full of worry, “We’ll try to be gentle with you, but you will need many nights of training before you can carry our rooks. Your body will learn from us, in time. For now, your memories are all that matter.”

He stood, and the other gargoyles held you tightly, supporting you on the altar. John huffed out a long breath, spread his wings wide, and stepped forward to mount you.

You watched his cock’s petals as they collided with your own, spreading himself all over you like a brush full of paint. He focused on your hole, smearing his hot precome as generously as he could. Then, he began to press forward.

“Holy fuck! I can’t take it! I can’t… John… it’s not… mngh! Ohhhh…” You cried out in agony and then melted into a quiet bliss.

As he entered you, the other three pet you with their paws, soothing you and helping you catch your breath.

Then, when you took his entire head, he rested at your entrance, waiting for you to come back around.

“John, what the fuck? I’m not built for your dick. How��?” You looked up at him, pleading for some relief.

“You’re doing so good for us, love,” Gaz licked and kissed your neck and breast, suckling on you to calm you down.

“You can take him,” Ghost held your hand, “His musk will open you up for us. Look at how it’s swelling your pussy, sweetheart.”

You looked down at yourself, and you saw that Ghost was right. Your pussy was creamy and puffy, soaking in John’s fluids, his musk, and it was helping you relax for him. John stepped forward, slipping in another inch or so, fitting his bent petals through your entrance. Then, with each grueling thrust, you felt the line of marble nodes press against your walls, secreting their lubricant all over your walls and making you drip onto the altar.

“So good for me,” John groaned, holding your breasts in his hands, stealing them away from Gaz and Soap, squeezing them hard enough to leave pinprick marks with his talons.

“Anhh– John! I’m…”

“Yes, come again, love. Come for me, remember me…”

Your mind was flung through space and time, spinning and feeding you a chaotic string of memories that didn’t seem like your own. You tasted food and drink you’d never tried, you sang songs you didn’t know, ran full speed across fields full of flowers you’d never smelled. It was maddening, watching you live a life you’d never had. Then, there they were, your four gargoyles, pledging their loyalty to you and your parents, vowing to be your protectors. But, just as your heart filled with hope, there was a great black fire that roared through the halls of your keep, burning the people you loved, destroying the peace in your realm. The Dark Sorcerer, Cael.

John was pounding away at your body now, and you were shivering from the heightened pleasure. How long had you been out? Your belly felt full of him, and you could see the outline of his shaft as he shoved himself through you, fucking you nearly up into your ribs. You reached down and cradled him outside of your belly, and he moaned from your touch, his heavy balls slapping against your ass in a punishing, deafening rhythm.

Then, you saw John beat his wings again, fighting with his own pleasure. He speared you fully, sealing himself inside of you, and it was at that point that you felt the curling, pulsing pressure of his knot.

“John… I’m not… I can’t…” You could barely keep your eyes open.

He gathered you up in his arms, wrapping you tight to his chest, and hugged you to his scalding, scaled flesh. When he breathed against you, his chest filled your space, and you could feel the tremors racking his body. He folded his wings around you, enclosing you in his protective embrace, hiding you in his darkness, and lowered you with his steady, inhuman power onto his throbbing knot.

Your scream was silent as your breath caught in your throat. You’d been shattered, thrown with supernatural might into a bursting orgasm, forced to come hard onto his swollen, beating shaft.

He was coming, too, and it filled your walls, making your belly hang heavy with fertile, gargoyle seed. John roared, thrusting himself up into you to grind his knot within your hole, churning his cream within you, and soaking your womb in his come.

John sighed, bending his neck to kiss your open mouth, petting you with his paws, rubbing his cock through your abdomen with his thumbs. His come moved inside of you as he did so, and you were so stuffed with his hot spend, the moment he began to unseal himself, it sprayed out of you and onto his cock, legs, and the floor of the chamber, turning the dirt to mud. You were gaping wide, dripping in his come, and trembling from brain-breaking orgasms. He didn’t look much better. He was spent, sitting on the ground of the cave, breathing hard and fast.

But, you couldn’t think about aftercare. Ghost took his place as soon as it was available, stepping through the muddy, semen-soaked floor without so much as a second glance. His dick was covered in his musk and he used it to rub it all over your clit, arching his back to paint your nipples with it as well, painting long lines of his scent all over your chest, belly, and legs. Satisfied, he notched himself at your entrance and spread your walls wide again, guiding himself deep inside of you.

You hissed in sweet agony, and he smiled down at you knowingly,

“You’re taking me so well. My tight little quim. So perfect. How I missed you, lover.”

John was standing again, and he came to help Ghost hold you in place as he pounded himself into you with long, agonizing strokes. You were glad he was there because your whole body was limp. You hung off the side of the pedestal like a ragdoll, letting Ghost rail himself into you, his studded shaft rolling orgasm after orgasm through your nerves, forcing you to come one after the other, just an endless parade of pleasure. Your mouth was open, and Gaz was suckling on your lips and tongue while Soap devoured your breasts, pinching and biting and slurping to his heart’s content.

John put his paw on your belly, feeling how Simon was protruding out of your flesh, heavy and built to last, His knot smaller but harder than John’s.

“Remember, love. C’mon, try to reach deeper,” you keened, feeling hot tears rush out of your eyes and down your cheeks as Gaz devoured your tongue. Then, you were transported again, back to your dear Evenhold. You were locked in a battle, controlling your magic and trying to crack a portal. You didn’t have a clear destination, but you found one all the same. Finally, your opponent, Cael, made a misstep. He tried to cast a sealing spell on you, but you deflected it, casting it on your devoted warriors instead, watching them tumble into the portal, wrought in dark stone. You felt yourself scream, and you killed the sorcerer, leaping into the portal to save the heroes you loved.

But, something had gone wrong. Time, fickle and flowing, warped itself, wrapping around your magic and flinging you back through time. You were a child again, and you were alone.

The look of despair on your face told Ghost everything he needed to know,

“She remembers. It’s working. Fuck! Take all of me, love. Come back to us!”

He slammed his knot inside of you and stretched his wings out wide and straight, his whole body vibrating with his energy, the enormous cock inside your core jerked and drooled come all over your walls, drowning itself in your tight, swollen hole.

When he popped his knot out of you, he held it to your pussy like a gate, encouraging the come he’d left behind to settle in your belly instead of spilling onto the ground. It worked poorly; there was just too much of it, but you felt fuller than before, and you knew your womb was carrying their seed deep within you.

“Hurry, Soap,” John stretched his claws, showing his discomfort, “Dawn.”

Soap took his place between your legs and struggled with his tip. You were pliant and soft for him, but it still wasn’t enough.

“Turn her,” he grunted, and your protectors followed his command, flipping your body over so that you could be on all fours for him.

He spread his musk over your hole, using his paws and cock in unison, trying his best to prepare you for his cock’s sinister curve, but it was no use.

“Just… take me, Soap. Please… I need to know…” You whined, just under your breath, preparing yourself for the ache of being stretched by him.

“Bonnie, I willnae hurt you. Give me a moment t–”

“Now,” you insisted, spreading yourself wide for him, “It has to be now.”

He sighed, and he put his wings around you instinctively, wanting to protect you from the pain and not knowing how. Soap slipped forward, and his cockhead caught in your inner ring of muscles, stuck, oozing its precome into your hole. He was afraid to press forward, unwilling to injure his mate, fearful of what he might do to you.

So, you fucked him. You leaned back, pressing your cunt down onto his tip, feeling every hard inch as you did so, prying yourself open like a stone fruit, using his prick to cleave your body. Thankfully, he was not as thick as John nor as long as Ghost, but he was a challenge for the entire ride. Every single thrust felt like a damn marathon, and he was shaped in such a way that your delicate g-spot was bullied into a wet, body-shaking submission.

You never stopped coming on Soap, but you didn’t remember starting either. He erased your mind and filled it with him, only him, and you slipped into his memories as easily as a warm bath, letting him drown you in his slick affection.

You saw yourself as a child, running through the keep, chasing Soap, a mischievous rook, letting him fly you onto the feast table to steal fruits and berries from the bowls, screeching as the cooks chased you from them, laughing and tumbling and rolling into the garden where you shared them together, ripping off ripe, sweet lobes, and fighting over the last bites.

Then, he was a young man. Younger than he was now, but every bit as handsome. None of his blue cracks were there to mar his pearlescent skin, and you marveled at his beauty. He flew with you to your secret spot, high in the white, chalk cliffs of Evenhold, overlooking the sea. He said nothing, but you understood everything in that moment.

The crash of the waves mimicked his rough fucking, and the lightning strike of another pleasure-filled crescendo slammed you back to the present, letting you watch him groan and stretch and fly with your body, pulling you from the altar into the air, clutching you around your throat and belly with his long tail in a deep embrace, trapping you on his knot and using his hands to milk himself into you, squeezing his root like a summer fruit, giving you every last drop.

His wings faltered, and his body went limp, and he lay you on the altar as gently as he could before collapsing on the ground of the cave, eyes shut and trembling.

Gaz mounted you, grabbing your hips and dragging you toward him. You looked down as he held your legs open, using his tail to protect your head from the rough platform. Then, he slipped into you with a gentleness you were not expecting due to his size. You thought you had finally been stretched to the point of comfort, worried about the state of yourself, but it was just an illusion. Once he impaled you past his enormous head, the petals folded back and his fat prick began to struggle within you. But, unlike Soap, he did not hold himself back. He knew you were close to the answer, and he needed to give it to you.

You both stared down at your swollen belly, full of come and beginning to fill with his shape. Gaz took your hand and placed it just above your womb, and moaned, grunting at you,

“Hold me here, love. Feel me… here…”

You tried to obey, but doing so made all of the sensations inside of you that much more intense. You could feel every petal, every ridge, every slippery marble node, the furl of his flesh and the impossibly thick length of his phallus, all of it working inside of you, right below your palm.

“Press…” He begged, his brown eyes soft and pleading.

So, you did, and you made yourself start to come. It was too beautiful of a feeling. You could sense every twitch and pulse and slip of his cock inside of you, feeling it with your walls as if you would your hands, squeezing him within you like a hilt to its blade, wielding him like a weapon.

You tipped over the edge, falling into another dream, but this time, it was a place you recognized. You were with Valeria, young again, just a child, and you watched her close the portal, making the runes with her hands, and sealing off the world of Darmoch, Evenhold, and everything you’d ever known.

Then, she cast a spell over your guardians, releasing them from their stone prisons, but at a price. Their skin splintered and cracked, and the stone cut awful shapes in their flesh, burning them with permanent scars. You wanted to help them, but you were slowly forgetting their faces. Things were fading away, and Valeria was the only one who knew how to help you.

You opened your eyes, clutching Gaz’s long dick within you in both of your hands, massaging him with deep affection and adoration. You looked up at him and said,

“I remember everything.”

He smiled, leaning forward to kiss your mouth, nuzzling your nose with his own snout, minding his tusks and groaning for you,

“Mmm, of course you do, my love. I knew you would.”

Gaz took a sharp breath and rolled his knot into you, emptying himself inside like the others, making you warm, full, and knowing the most perfect love. It was written all over your soul, your promise to them, their vow to you, the ancient oath to protect you and to follow your command until the end of days.

When he pulled away, stumbling back and catching himself on the cave wall, you knew your destiny. You rose to your feet, ignoring the aches of your humanity, casting aside your doubt. You pulled your guardians close to you, putting their hands on your arms and shoulders, and just as the pink dawn began to crest over the horizon, you said,

“Hold on to me. We’re going home.”

Don't look at me like that. Y'all knew I was out of my mind before you even started reading this fic. C'mon, now.

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sceletaflores · 6 months ago

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college!pervy!patrick stealing your underwear 18+

it's pure fucking luck when it happens.

art wouldn't stop complaining about having to take his dirty laundry to the communal room on his dorm floor that housed all the washers and dryers. patrick doesn't know why the fuck he offered to take it up for him in the first place, to shut art up? to make him happy?

who gives a shit anyways cause while he's taking arts stupidly full hamper to the laundry room and following the half-assed directions given to him, he bumps right into someone as soon as he steps foot through the already open door. when he cranes his head around the edge of art's hamper he nearly jumps with fucking joy at what, or more-so who, greets him.

he knew who you were already. art wouldn't stop blowing up his phone with texts about "the hot new chick with an out of this world backhand and a killer fucking rack!". so as soon as he got off the bus in cali and stepped foot in art's cushy dorm room he obviously demanded he take him to one of your matches, and holy fucking shit.

you absolutely obliterate the poor girl on the opposite side of the net. running her up and down the court like a chicken with its head cut off while you stay calm and collected.

he could come just watching your perfect form as you hammer another excellent serve at your opponent, but something has to be said for the fucking outfit you're wearing. the tight tank of your dress does show off your, now proven, killer fucking rack but goddamn that skirt should be illegal. even the flowy pleated fabric can't hide the thick curve of your ass underneath, bouncing as you take off to chase after the ball.

he's white knuckling the edges of his seat the entire match, using every ounce of willpower in his body to not pop a boner in the middle of the fucking stands and even more willpower to not look over at the smug fucking grin plastered on art's face as he watches him. safe to say, you've been on his mind ever since.

now, you stand in front of him holding your own hamper with an apologetic smile on your face.

"shit, i'm so sorry. i didn't even see you." you say, way too chipper for 9 a.m on a sunday.

patrick is the epitome of a cocky, arrogant asshole. he has girls in nearly every state practically begging to choke on his dick without him so much as raising a finger in their direction. he's beyond smooth. he has every sleazy line known to man on the tip of his tongue at all times, yet when he goes to speak he can't manage anything besides a weak mutter of, "s'alright." he mentally punches himself in the balls for letting your bambi eyes and dick sucking lips get the better of him.

you give him a nod and one last friendly smile before stepping around him and making your way down the hallway. patrick watches in damn near agony as you go, ponytail swinging behind you in time with the sway of your hips.

patrick lets out an all suffering groan, dropping his head to his chest in defeat. "fucking dumbass.' he admonishes himself quietly, letting himself wallow in misery before making to take a step forward when suddenly he spots something out of the corner of his eye.

it takes him a few seconds to register just what he's staring at, but when it clicks he nearly has a fucking heart attack. there on the floor lays a pair of lacy white panties, your lacy white panties. it takes him all of a millisecond to drop art's hamper on the floor carelessly and practically dive to snatch them up. as soon as his fingers touch the fabric he can feel himself chubbing up in his sweats. he runs his fingertips over the hem, feeling the familiar rough texture that was snug against your body so recently makes sparks go off near the base of his spine.

when patrick hears lively conversation and footsteps heading his way he shoves the panties in his pocket and snatches art's hamper off the floor to start haphazardly shoving his clothes in the washer.

when he finally re-enters art's dorm room he's met with his best friends face staring at him suspiciously. "what the fuck took you so long?" art questions, brow raised as he watches patrick stumble over to his bed and plop down a little too roughly. patrick's reply is simple.

“got lost."

it's only later, when he's back on the train heading for his latest stop and digging into his pocket in search of his lighter that he feels it. the lacy fabric of your panties still stuffed deep into his pocket. his breath hitches in his throat and before he knows what he's doing he's up like a shot and speed walking to the back of the cart.

he's in the bathroom a mere five seconds before he's ripping his fly down and furiously stroking his hard as steel cock in a cramped train bathroom he can barely stand up fully in. it takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before he's busting in the fucking sink with your dainty white panties balled up in his fist and held against his nose as he inhales so heavily he might fucking pass out.

patrick has already found, and requested you, on facebook by the time he makes it back to his seat.

-------------

big shout outs to @yuenity @callsign-artemis @ebodebo (who each put up with me ranting about this so wonderfully love you guys mwah)

#— 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 ♡#i literally put the pedal to the metal on this one #i wrote it in like an hour #i'm so obsessed with him its not even funny #like i need to be put away #genuinely #or diagnosed with hysteria #it's so bad #challengers smut #challengers movie #challengers #challengers fanfic #patrick zweig #patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig x you #patrick zweig imagine #patrick zweig smut #patrick zweig fic

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equestria-system · 2 days ago

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trans trafficked dysphoria is killing me rn :(((

#our dms are open for transharmfuls 💖#!.calis corner #transharmful please interact #transharmed #transtrafficked

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littlemelaninfics · 7 months ago

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Surprise, Surprise

a/n: I had this mostly written in my drafts before Bi!Buck actually became canon and wanted to finish it, so enjoy <3 (18+ ONLY)

Warnings: pregnant reader, fluff (whoa! Cali writes fluff? Don’t get used to it 😉)

“Is y/n feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Because she looks - Well she looks a little-“

“Hot.” Maddie said.

“Yeah that,” Chim agreed while pointing to Maddie.

“Hot?” Buck asked furrowing his brow.

“As in sexy. Foxy. Hot!” Maddie said very bluntly that even had her husband looking at her. Athena and Hen scurried to the three at the kitchen island to join in,

“You guys talking about Y/n?” Hen asked.

“I don’t mean to be suggestive as I am a woman of class, but whatever you’re doing Buck, keep doing it,” Athena nodded as she raised her glass to the gals.

“It’s not that she wasn’t THAT before now, but we haven’t seen her in a while and she looks and even feels different. I can feel her vibe from here,” Hen said as she playfully grasped at the air in your direction.

“Uh, heh, yeah. I guess things are a little different,” Buck said while looking back at you sweetly,

“Uh, I mean, things are good! Great even! That’s why you guys are here. We wanted to see everyone in one room for once,” Buck smiled, “so glad you’re all here.” Buck sipped on his beer before his foot got stuck any further down his throat.

The get together was in full swing when you went and grabbed the extra bag of ice from the freezer. Buck saw you out of the corner of his eye and practically flew out of his pants rushing over to you. Eddie saw the interaction from across the room and squinted his eyebrows in his chismoso ways. He migrated to the group by the counter with a full on detective look on his face,

“Y’all saw that, right?”

“You mean the way Buck Scooby-Doo’ed his way out of his seat to help a grown woman carry 10 pounds of ice? Yeah.” Hen confirmed. All heads turned to Eddie waiting for an explanation.

“Why are you looking at me?”

“You’re his best friend,” Maddie said matter of factly.

“You’re his sister,” Eddie mocked back.

“I mean it would explain the changes we all see,” Hen shrugged her shoulders.

“The glowing skin, thicker hair, filled out in the appropriate places…” Athena drifted off.

“The cravings, the mood swings, the crying…” Chimney chimed in. Now all heads swifted his way,

“I saw her last Thursday-

“Chimney!”

“Dude!”

“What!? I wasn’t paying attention to anything except the safety and well being of my Jiyung. But it does make a little more sense now…”

They stared on as Buck kissed you on your forehead and took the ice to the cooler. Bobby rounded the corner in the backyard and made his way over to you, giving you the biggest hug. The group realizes he’s pointing to Buck a lot and using grand gestures,

“Think he knows something?” Hen asked Athena who just looked on. Bobby went to head inside when he spotted the gathering at the counter and immediately stopped in his tracks to turn the other way.

“He knows!” Eddie said has he raced around the counter, beating Bobby to bathroom,

“Hey Cap! What’s up?”

“What’s up, Eddie?”

“Nothin. Just hangin out, you know,” he said with a big smile and deep eye contact trying to read his Captain.

Feeling awkward,

“Alright well, I’m gonna..” Bobby said as he motioned to the bathroom.

“Yeah, man! For sure! We’ll be right out here!” Eddie walked back to the island.

“He’s not coming out,” Chimney said, “Do you think that’s why everyone’s here? So they can tell us all?”

“I guess we’ll find out, but we can’t in good conscience harass Bobby into telling us,” Athena said as she was the first to walk off.

The party went on for another hour or so when Buck called the attention of everyone,

“Y/N and I would first like to start off by thanking you all for being here. It means a lot to us that we can see the people we love and care about all together and creating memories. That’s why today is so special. Uh, it has come to my attention that some of you may be guessing…” he said as he turned his attention to his family and they turned to Bobby who kept his eyes wide and trained forward,

“My wife and I have created our true dream life and forever team. We’ve been through so much together and have been privileged to have had all of you by our side along the way. Which is why we are-words can’t even describe this feeling, but we are beyond blessed to announce that we are expecting our first child-”

The party erupted in cheer and Bobby let out a sigh of relief before joining in on the applause. Buck never got to finish his speech before parents were coming up to you both and giving hugs.

“You knew?” Athena asked Bobby.

“For 3 weeks now. He said he needed to tell someone but knew it was too early to tell everyone.”

“Ohh, so in the end you just respecting Buck’s wishes?” She delivered with a playful side eye.

“Exactly,” he said leaning down to kiss her forehead and pull her in.

#evan buckley x black!reader #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley #buck 911 #eddie 911 #911 on abc #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley fluff #911 imagine #eddie diaz 911 #eddie diaz #gay firefighter show #bi!buck

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saythenametotheworld · 4 months ago

Text

Risk | l.jn [1]

Genre: college au; crush-at-first-sight Synopsis: Firmly convinced that Love-at-First-Sight is a hoax, you never expected to be proven wrong when the universe decided to throw you, quite literally, into Lee Jeno's lap. Pairing: NCT Lee Jeno x Reader Warnings: slow burn—I know, classic Cali work. Notes: Can I interest you with another two-part fic that's also a slow burn? No? Alright. Here's the first 14.7k words! Song prompt was Risk by Gracie Abrams <3 (btw i did not proofread this)

[Part 2]

You first met Jeno Lee on a particularly cool autumn afternoon. The kind of day where the wind carried a crispness that hinted at the coming winter, and the leaves crunched underfoot in vibrant shades of red, orange, and gold. The public library—where you spent most of the school break had always been quiet, but today, it was more silent than usual, the heavy wooden doors muffling the outside world’s chill.

You found yourself in the farthest corner of the library, where the oldest books resided, their spines faded and worn from years of eager hands. You stepped onto a ladder, reaching for a book that had been buried on the highest shelf, just out of reach. The book wasn’t anything special, except for the pretty spine and an interesting title that piqued your curiosity.

Your fingertips brushed the spine, but as you tried to pull it free, it resisted. Frowning, you gave it a stronger tug, unaware that on the other side of the shelf, someone else had their fingers wrapped around the very same book.

Thinking it was simply stuck in the array, you tried again, exerting all of your strength on one last tug. The book suddenly gave way, sending you off balance. Your heart leaped into your throat as you toppled backward, the ladder slipping beneath your feet. You had just enough time to gasp before you felt yourself falling, bracing for the cold, hard floor to meet you.

But instead of hitting the ground, you landed in something warm and solid. Strong arms caught you, holding you securely as you blinked up in surprise, your breath coming in short.

And that’s when you saw him.

It felt like the world had shifted into a dreamy haze—one of those cinematic moments when time slows down as the female lead and her love interest lock eyes for the first time. The world seemed to blur around you, blocking out everything and everyone, and sweet background music was playing in your head.

His eyes were the first thing you noticed—deep and warm, dark brown in color, flecked with gold that seemed to catch the light in just the right way. His dark hair fell in soft waves across his forehead, slightly tousled, as if he’d just run his fingers through it. His jawline was sharp, but softened by the slight smile that curved his lips as he looked down at you.

He was effortlessly handsome, in the kind of way that made your heart skip a beat and your stomach flip all at once.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice warm and soothing, with a hint of genuine concern.

“Huh?” you questioned, your own voice sounding like a switch that abruptly snapped you back to reality. The dreamy haze dissipated, and you were left with the stark, embarrassing reality of the moment. You realized you were still cradled in his arms, your hands resting against his chest. Your face flushed as you scrambled to get down, muttering apologies.

“Woah, careful,” he said as he gently set you back on your feet, his hands lingering on your arms for just a second longer than necessary.

“I’m sorry about that,” you managed to stammer, your voice barely above a whisper. “The uh… the book! It was stuck.”

“Yeah, you almost got hurt there,” he smiled, a slow, genuine smile that made your heart flutter.

You glanced down at the book he was holding—the one you’d been reaching for, and then back up at him, a blush creeping into your cheeks. “Thanks. For catching me. And for this.”

He chuckled softly, and the sound was like music, smooth and easy. “No problem. I just happened to pass by.”

“Well, lucky me,” you replied, chuckling bashfully. For a moment, you both stood there, the library around you fading into the background. There was something in his gaze, a spark of recognition that made you feel like you knew each other, even though this was the first time you’d met.

Is this the part where you tell him your name? Maybe not? Shouldn’t he be asking for yours?

“Right. See you around then,” he said while you were busy thinking to yourself. Before you could gather your wits to say anything back, he gave you an acknowledging nod and walked away.

You stood there, dumbfounded, watching him go. It wasn’t until he disappeared around the corner that you realized you should have asked for his name. Your heart was racing, and you were feeling a mix of gratitude and something else, something that made your cheeks warm and your thoughts scatter.

You kept wondering who he was, where he was from, and if he lived in town. His image haunted your thoughts, making it hard to focus on anything else. At night, you lay in bed, replaying the scene, his warm eyes and gentle smile etched into your memory.

Who was he? And why did your heart feel like it was doing somersaults? Clearly, you should know by now what that means: you have a huge, massive, gigantic crush on this guy. And you don’t even know his name yet!

Funnily enough, you never saw him again after that. In the remaining days of your break, you frequented the library, asked your friends about him, and even went on night outs hoping he’d show up. But you had no luck. Was it really possible not to see each other again after that day? Maybe he didn’t live there. Your town was small, the kind of place where everyone knows everybody. There was no way you wouldn’t have known if someone like that lived nearby. Maybe he was just passing through.

That was probably it. As you traveled back to the city for the start of the semester, you knew you would never see him again. It might be easier to think he didn’t exist at all. It was a little frustrating, but you decided to let it go.

Yet it seemed like the universe wasn’t ready for you to let it all go.

On one particularly cold and rainy afternoon, you stood outside a diner in the city, frantically waving your hand at a taxi cab. Your umbrella might have been keeping your head dry, but the strong gusts of wind blew tiny drops of rain all over your jeans and boots. After several occupied taxis passed by, seeing one finally pull over in front of you almost made you cry with joy.

“Apartment X on 46th Street, please,” you told the driver as soon as you slid inside, barely managing to close the door behind you. You sighed in relief, your heart slowing down as the warm air of the cab wrapped around you.

But just as you were about to settle in, the door was suddenly yanked open. Startled, you glanced back, and your breath caught in your throat.

A man peeked his head into the cab, his messy hair plastered to his forehead, drenched from the rain. But despite his soaked appearance, that smile was unmistakable—a smile you easily recognized even after all this time. The rain pounded against the cab roof, but all you could hear was the sound of your own heartbeat, echoing in your ears.

Jeno’s smile widened as he took in your surprised expression. “Sorry to barge in like this, but it’s pouring out here. Mind if I share the cab with you?”

“Sure,” you said softly, audible enough for him to slide into the seat next to you. You caught a whiff of his perfume—fresh, woodsy, intoxicating. Instinct made you scoot over slightly, trying to make room without seeming too eager.

The cab started moving, and silence filled the space between you. You could feel your pulse quicken as you stole glances at him, but he seemed oblivious, focused instead on his phone. He looked just as handsome as you remembered—maybe even more so—though it had only been a few months since you last saw him. Somehow, it felt like you were seeing him for the first time. And there was something in his demeanor that sent a sinking feeling to your stomach.

He didn’t remember you.

You were sure of it now. The way he had smiled, the casual politeness in his tone, all pointed to a simple truth—you were just another stranger sharing a cab on a rainy day.

You knew you should say something—anything. Start some small talk, maybe a simple “hi.” Would that be weird? It shouldn’t be, right? You’re sharing a space, after all, and a small one at that. You could remind him of the time he caught you in his arms like you were in a rom-com flick or something.

Making friends had always been easy for you, but with him, every conversation starter seemed silly or wrong, and the fear of making a bad impression held you back. What if he thought you were odd for remembering? What if he didn’t care?

Then again, how could you possibly form a deeper connection with him if you wouldn’t even talk to him? Was he really so attractive to leave you dumbfounded each time? You took a peek to confirm and ended up meeting his gaze when you glanced at each other at the same time. You smiled meekly before quietly looking away.

The answer was simply a ‘yes’.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the taxi driver’s voice. “Where to, young man?” he asked, glancing back at Jeno.

Jeno appeared to think for a second. “Is the road to NCIT still inaccessible?”

Your ears perked up at the mention of your university. Did he go there too?

“I don’t think so,” the driver replied, shaking his head slightly. “But I’ll try to get as close as possible. Taco Bell near the intersection alright with you?”

“That would be good, thanks.”

Your mind raced with questions. Does he go to NCIT too? You could ask him about it, maybe bring up the sinkhole that had appeared on the road near campus a few days ago. But once again, your nerves got the better of you. All you could do was scroll through your phone, pretending to be engrossed in social media as you tried not to gawk at him.

The cab came to a stop sooner than you expected. You noticed Jeno shifting beside you, preparing to get out.

“Thanks a lot,” he told the driver, handing over his fare. Then, to your surprise, he turned to you with a warm smile. “Thanks to you too. Stay warm.”

And just like that, he was gone. The door clicked shut, and you were left in the backseat, feeling mild annoyance and disappointment. You stared at the space where he had just been, your thoughts swirling with frustration.

Seriously? You thought to yourself, trying to keep the frustration from bubbling over. You’d let him slip away without saying anything. Ugh, how could you be so awkward? A tiny part of you wanted to throw a little tantrum and scold yourself at the same time.

As the cab started moving again, you slumped back in the seat, watching the rain streak down the windows. It was a little bit of a letdown, but you sighed and shook your head, deciding to laugh it off. He was just a fleeting, unexpected moment in your otherwise uneventful day. A quick ray of sunshine, maybe.

In itself, it was a relief to know that he was in the same city. Hunting him down should be easy. For now, you’d just have to let this go and move on.

“No, you’re not—” Sienna gestured quote marks in the air. “—‘hunting him down’, whatever that means.

“Why not?” you whined, slumping back on your bed.

Your flatmate sighed in exasperation, crossing her hands over her chest as she stared you down. “It’s weird and stalkerish. Get to know him like a normal human being.”

You had told her about Jeno, from the first encounter with him back in your hometown to the cab ride with him earlier that day. “That’s the thing. I can’t because I don’t know him at all. I don’t even have his name,” you told her.

“Yes, and you’re an idiot for that,” she chastised, sitting next to you on the bed.

You groaned, narrowing your eyes at the ceiling. “You are absolutely correct,” you said, shutting your eyes as you flail your hands in the air.

“Let it go. If he does go to NCIT, then you’ll see him again and you’ll talk to him like a proper girl,” said Sienna, tapping the space between your eyebrows.

Normally, if something like that happened to you, you would just let it go. Not that it has happened before, but if it did, you would just let it go. Not this one. You can’t. Somehow, you were convinced that you crossed paths with him for a reason.

So, against Sienna’s advice, you hunted him down. It was outside a diner where you met him again, and he got off near your university. Assuming you were around the same age, he most probably went to NCIT too.

“If he was, you would’ve met him already,” said Sienna, alluding to your congenial personality and tendency to befriend just anyone.

“That’s the thing! I do not know him, so he’s probably a new student. If he isn’t, then he’s probably from the Sci-Tech building,” you told her.

“Sci-Tech? Why Sci-Tech?”

You looked at her like the answer to her question should be obvious enough. “Because I don’t go there.”

Sienna snorted. “Your deduction skills are spot on,” she said sarcastically.

There was only one place in uni that you never frequented, the Science and Technology building. It was because you had no reason to go there. That building was for NCIT’s specialized programs, which were programs in Natural Sciences and Technology. It housed departments like Engineering and Mathematics, Biology, Computer Sciences, and the like. As a Foreign Languages student, you have everything you need and everywhere you have to be in both the Arts and Social Sciences building. There was no reason to go elsewhere. But that might change if your suspicion turns out to be right.

So as soon as Monday rolled in, you headed to the said building with one goal in mind—to see if your mystery man was there. The halls weren’t entirely unfamiliar; you’d seen them before during your freshman tour of the campus. But the faces were new, unfamiliar, and you found yourself smiling at those you recognized.

The task was simple—look around, find out if Jeno’s there, get to know him, and done. If you happened to bump into your friends from this building, you’d tell them you were looking for them. No way were you going to let anyone know you were on a “hunt” for a boy.

“Are you lost?” said a guy’s voice from behind you.

You sighed and rolled your eyes before turning to face him. Smiling, you said, “I was just looking for you, Renjun.”

Renjun cocked an eyebrow at you. “Why? What did you do?”

You clutched your chest, pretending to be offended. “Nothing? I just came to see you. Lunch is on me today.”

His face softened but he still scoffed. “Why didn’t you just text me instead of coming all the way here?”

“I had to remind you because you’re old and forgetful,” you joked, falling into step beside him as he started walking.

“I’m not old and forgetful,” he muttered, though you just giggled, clinging onto his arm.

Your eyes scanned the halls, peeking into classrooms, but there was no sign of Jeno so far. Meanwhile, Renjun was complaining about Haechan and Yangyang spreading the flu virus all weekend.

“Thank God they’re okay now,” he grumbled. “I can’t last another day babying those grownups.”

“Why don’t you kick them out?” you said absentmindedly.

Renjun hummed as if seriously considering the idea. “I would if I could pay all 1500 by myself. Even the rent is annoyingly expensive.”

“Then why not move to the on-campus dorm?” you suggested, though you knew he was just complaining for the sake of it.

“It sucks.”

Just as you rounded the corner to the stairs, you spotted Jeno in the crowd. You gasped softly, your heart doing a little flip. There he was, just as handsome as he had been last weekend. You were right, after all—he really was from this building.

You watched him from a distance, talking animatedly to a few other students in front of an open classroom. You couldn’t help but stare, your heart doing a little flip as you took in his easy smile and the way he casually leaned against the doorway like he belonged there—like he belonged everywhere. Nothing of note could be said about his good looks, except that he continued to be as handsome as he did last weekend. He laughed along with the rest of his classmates, eyes crinkling cutely.

“What are you staring at?” Renjun asked, following your gaze. “Ah, I knew you had ulterior motives for coming here. Which one is it? Hyunjin? Jeno? Soobin?”

You glanced back at Renjun, grinning from ear to ear. “Which one is Soobin?”

He scoffed. “You came all the way here and you don’t even know his name?”

“I know Hyunjin,” you said, shaking your head. You pointed at the guy in the grey hoodie. “That one. Is that Soobin?”

“That’s Jeno Lee.”

You gasped, covering your mouth in mock shock. “His name is Jeno? Oh my god! It suits him so well.”

“And? Did you come here for him?” Renjun asked, raising an eyebrow as he peered at Jeno and his group. “Should I call him over?”

“No!” you exclaimed, quickly tugging him back. “Do you two know each other?”

He nodded. “Yeah, he’s Jaemin’s friend from high school.”

At this point, your smile was probably blinding Renjun with how bright it was. But before you could pester him for more details, he slipped away with a quick wave, escaping to his classes.

Information was easy to obtain from your friends. Barely a day had passed but you have learned all the important things you needed to learn about him. He was new at the university, having enrolled here only last semester. Four months ago, he was dating this cute girl from Biology but they broke up only a month later. No one knew why, but they did break up. He used to play basketball and still does. He’s an Electronic Engineering student and is said to be very intelligent. You also found out that he currently shares an apartment with Jaemin and Mark.

That night, you lay on your bed, phone in hand, scrolling through his profile. He was active on it, posting mostly about his workouts in his Stories and getting tagged in posts by friends. He played basketball for his previous school and based on the posts and comments from his friends, he was great at it. There were pictures of him with his team, others mid-game, looking focused and determined. There were also pictures of him just hanging out with lots of different people; some faces were recurring, but it was mostly different people.

You couldn’t help but wonder if this was how all crushes felt—silly and intense all at once, like a tiny spark that refused to fizzle out.

“I wonder if he’s as nice as he seems,” you thought, your heart fluttering as you looked at a photo of him laughing with his friends. His smile was the same one that had made your heart skip a beat the first time you saw it.

You tapped on the profiles of his friends, searching for clues about Jeno’s life. It was easy to tell which ones were close to him, and which ones weren’t. You even scrolled through the profiles of girls who seemed too close to him in pictures, hoping he wasn’t dating any of them. Based on your little “research”, he is single right now with plenty of admirers commenting on his photos.

You noted every detail, hoping to find common interests. His love for basketball intrigued you, and maybe you could strike up a conversation about it if you ever got the chance. Well, that is if you even knew a thing about basketball. You weren’t a big fan of the sport, but you would be if it was Jeno playing. If he was on your school’s basketball team, you would have joined the cheer squad. You didn’t have the skill for it, but you would have tried nonetheless.

A soft sigh escaped your lips as you let your imagination run wild. You closed your eyes, allowing the faint light from your phone to fade into the darkness of your room. Images of Jeno’s smile and the sound of his voice played in your mind like a cherished memory. The idea of seeing him again made your heart swell with excitement, looking forward to the next few days.

Then, realizing how far down the rabbit hole of your crush you’d fallen, you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself. “Get it together,” you murmured, shaking your head with a grin. But even as you tried to reel yourself in, the excitement of possibly seeing him again was too much to suppress.

There was no denying it now. You told your girlfriends that you had fallen in love with Jeno Lee from the Sci-Tech building.

“It was love at first sight. I just know it,” you said dreamily, twirling in front of the mirror.

Kayla raised an eyebrow. “You said love at first sight is a scam.”

“I know what I said,” you sighed, knowing she was right. You were a skeptic when it came to love at first sight. Sure, you liked romance and were a massive fan of romcoms. But love at first sight in real life? Total BS. “Obviously, I was wrong. I have to admit that now,” you added, a mixture of disbelief and excitement swirling within you. Part of you still couldn’t believe how quickly your feelings had changed.

Kayla and Sienna exchanged glances. Sienna smirked, her tone playful as she asked, “Are you sure you weren’t just blinded by his looks? That can happen to some.”

“Well… He did look handsome, but I’m sure it was more than just that.” You walked back to your dresser, sporting a reminiscent smile. “I know it sounds crazy, but there was just something about him. I can’t explain it. It’s like… like he was meant to be there.”

Kayla rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide her grin. “Next thing you know, you’ll be writing love letters and doodling his name in your notebook.”

You laughed, shaking your head, but a part of you couldn’t deny it. Maybe you would. “Hey, if it comes to that, don’t judge me,” you said, a teasing glint in your eyes.

“Yo! I have arrived!” came Haechan’s voice from outside your bedroom door, followed by heavy knocks. “Come on, come out now before I change my mind and leave your asses.”

You opened the door and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning on the doorframe as you sized him up. “First of all, the car isn’t yours. Second, how dare you bring your shoes in here.”

“Move. I’m not here for your ugly mug. I need my baby,” he retorted, trying to push you out of the way, but you wouldn’t budge.

“You move,” you shot back, playfully pushing his chest and sending him back a few paces.

Sienna giggled as she brushed past you. “You guys never stop fighting, do you?” she asked rhetorically, knowing full well the answer was ‘yes.’

“I hate her so much,” Haechan muttered to Sienna as she greeted him with a soft kiss on the cheek. “How are you putting up with her?”

You rolled your eyes at their PDA. “The real question is, how is she putting up with you,” you quipped, turning on your heel to fetch your stuff.

Yangyang’s SUV was parked outside, and you could make out Renjun’s figure sitting in the shotgun. As the four of you boarded the car, Yangyang glanced back at you in the backseat, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

“Hey, I heard you’re seeing someone from Sci-Tech. Is that true?” he asked, his tone teasing.

You furrowed your brows in confusion, about to respond, when Renjun sighed exasperatedly from the front seat. “I said she went to see someone,” he corrected, his voice calm but laced with mock annoyance.

Yangyang turned to Renjun, feigning innocence. “Isn’t that the same thing?”

“No, dumbass,” Renjun shot back, rolling his eyes.

“Wow. Renjun, you’re a fucking tattletale,” you blurted, pretending to be offended but unable to keep the smile off your face.

Renjun just shrugged. “Let’s just go,” he said, his tone final but light, signaling the end of the banter as Yangyang pulled out of the driveway.

On rainy days, you often carpooled with Yangyang, who generously offered to drive you safely to school. While the sinkhole repairs were still ongoing, the city had found a detour that made it possible for cars to access the street where NCIT is.

“How much longer do you think it’s gonna take?” Renjun asked as you passed by the sinkhole.

“Hopefully not long. The traffic in this part of the city is a nightmare,” you replied, leaning forward to peer through the space between Renjun and Yangyang as you looked outside.

“Mark’s asking if we’re still going to Felize’s for lunch today,” Haechan said, his eyes glued to his phone.

“Of course, man. We haven’t eaten at Felize’s in ages,” Yangyang replied with a sigh. “I miss their quesadillas.”

“Who else is coming?” Sienna asked, peeking at her boyfriend’s phone.

“No one else. Just Mark, Jaemin, and maybe Jeno.”

Your stomach did a little flip at the mention of Jeno’s name. “You’re going to Felize’s and you never told me?” you accused, feigning indignation.

Kayla cocked an eyebrow at you. “We talked about it in the group chat last week.”

“Why didn’t I know that?”

“Because you never check your messages,” Renjun said, not missing a beat.

Haechan chimed in, “And you rarely show up to our invitations anyway.”

“I do sometimes!” you insisted.

“Rarely,” Renjun shot back, smirking.

You grinned. “Well, today is your lucky day!”

“Oh, shut up. You just want to see Jeno,” Renjun teased, his smirk widening.

“Jeno?” Haechan repeated, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you suspiciously. “Do you like Jeno?”

“Mind your own business, alright?” you shot back.

After a long day of classes, you and your friends finally made your way to Felize’s. The familiar scent of sizzling fajitas and freshly baked tortillas greeted you as you stepped inside the cozy, dimly lit restaurant. It was a favorite hangout spot, a place where you could unwind and enjoy some of the best Mexican food in town.

The group quickly spotted Mark and Jaemin already seated at a booth near the window, waving them over. You all crammed into the booth, the chatter flowing easily as menus were passed around—even though you all knew what you were going to order.

As you looked around the restaurant, your excitement started to wane. You scanned the tables, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jeno, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Jaemin noticed your expression first and grinned. “What’s with the long face? You look like you lost something.”

You tried to play it off, shrugging. “Nothing. Just thought it would be more crowded.”

Haechan chuckled. “She was expecting someone in particular.”

“Someone whose name rhymes with… Den-o?” Kayla teased, her grin widening.

You rolled your eyes, but the small smile on your face gave you away. “Okay, fine, maybe I thought Jeno would be here. But I’m not disappointed. Just… mildly inconvenienced.”

“Mildly inconvenienced,” Yangyang mocked with a playful smirk. “I can practically see the broken heart emojis floating above your head.”

“Yo! Wait, what’s going on?” Mark asked, holding up his palms. Turning to you, he asked, “Do you like Jeno?”

“No,” you denied, but you were grinning from ear-to-ear. “Who is he anyway?”

“No, seriously,” Mark pressed, eye gleaming with interest as he turned to your other friends for answers. “Seriously? Since when?”

“Not long,” you replied, hoping they'd move on. “Just very recently.”

“Recently? Alright, that makes sense. We’ve been flatmates since he got here. I was wondering why you never told us,” Mark said, nodding..

“Right? I didn’t even know there were three of you in that apartment!” you groaned.

Jaemin smiled at you. “Too bad he isn’t here. He had other things to do.”

Renjun, ever the instigator, leaned back in his seat with a knowing smile. “You know, if you really want to see him, you could just text him and ask where he is. He might appreciate the effort.”

Mark nodded in agreement, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Yeah, or maybe we should’ve just kidnapped him and brought him here ourselves.”

Yangyang added with a grin, “Or better yet, we can all show up at his place with food and be like, ‘Hey, you missed out!’”

Haechan’s laughter was an insult to you. “Does he even know you? I heard you get tongue-tied at the mere sight of him!”

There was a chorus of disbelief from the boys at your table. Jaemin asked, still shocked, “You? Tongue-tied?”

Kayla chuckled softly. “Come on, guys. Don’t tease her like that. She’s just a bit shy.”

“Oh god,” Yangyang exclaimed, rubbing his arms. “I got goosebumps hearing you say that.”

“Yeah, ‘shy’ and ‘you’ don’t belong in the same sentence,” added Haechan, pointing his finger at you.

You groaned, half-laughing as you covered your face with your hands. “You guys are the worst.”

“But you love us anyway,” Sienna said, patting your shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered, though the smile on your face gave you away. Even though Jeno wasn’t there, you couldn’t help but enjoy the moment with your friends.

With the midterms fast approaching, you momentarily forgot about Jeno, focusing instead in making notes and studying. Instead of the campus library, you opted to the city library. You liked it there. It’s quieter, with fewer students, and more books to choose from. Except this time, instead of maintaining your streak as a recognized Most Diligent Reader—third place overall last year—you buried yourself in notes and textbooks.

One particularly slow weekend, you were absorbed in your study when you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you. There, leaning against one of the towering old bookshelves, was Jeno. He held a book in one hand, and his other hand twirled a pen absentmindedly. Your heart leaped to your throat, and a wave of nerves washed over you.

You quietly observed Jeno from behind the cover of your textbook, trying to focus on your notes. But despite your best intentions, your gaze kept drifting towards him. The way he casually flipped through pages and twirled his pen seemed to make time stand still. You watched as he moved from the shelves to a table across the room, burying his head into the book. You tried to concentrate, but your efforts were in vain as your mind wandered back to him.

The next day, you were back at the city library, hoping for another glimpse of him. To your surprise, Jeno was there again, looking just as engrossed in his studies as before. You couldn’t help but think that maybe he enjoyed this library as much as you did. Although that day, he studied little and slept most of the day.

One afternoon, Sienna showed up and immediately noticed your distracted state. She took one look at you and followed your gaze, rolling her eyes when she saw Jeno.

“Seriously?” Sienna said, sitting down next to you and grabbing your notes. “You’re here to study, not to gawk at some guy.”

You blushed, trying to regain your composure. “I’m not gawking. I’m just—”

“Just talk to him,” Sienna interrupted, her tone a mix of exasperation and encouragement. ��He’s right there. How hard can it be?”

You felt your cheeks grow warmer. “I can’t just walk up to him. I’m—” You hesitated, searching for the right words. “I’m shy.”

Sienna raised an eyebrow. “You? You’re never shy.”

“I know,” you admitted, feeling a bit flustered. “It’s just… different with him. I don’t know why.”

Sienna sighed dramatically. “Fine, I’ll do it for you then. But you owe me coffee.”

You shot up from your seat, grabbing her arm to stop her. “No, wait! Please don’t.”

Sienna looked at you, puzzled. “Are you sure? He seems like a really nice guy. It wouldn’t hurt to just say hi.”

You shook your head, giving her a pleading look. “I don’t want to rush things. Just let me handle it.”

Sienna studied you for a moment, then sighed and relented. “Alright, alright. I won’t push it. But you better get on with it soon, or I’m going to start making plans for you.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, and Sienna returned to her seat, shaking her head but with a smile. You knew you needed to muster the courage to talk to Jeno on your own terms, but now is not the right time yet. Of course that’s just an excuse, but you wanted to believe it.

Once more, you found yourself at the city library, where you spotted Jeno studying with Jaemin. You decided to sit at a table right behind them, carefully positioning yourself so that Jaemin’s back was to you. This way, you could observe Jeno without risking being seen by your friend.

As you settled into your seat, you pulled out your notes and pretended to study, though your attention was primarily focused on Jeno. You discreetly stole glances over the top of your book, trying to catch glimpses of his expressions and the way he animatedly explained something to Jaemin. You found yourself fixated on his lips, the way they moved and the way they’re so pink and plump.

Just as you were lost in the sight of him, Jeno’s gaze flicked in your direction, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment. Your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly ducked behind your book, pretending to be engrossed in your notes. You could almost feel your cheeks heating up, and you cursed yourself for being so obvious. Surely, he didn’t realize you’d been staring at him, right?

You were probably wrong. He definitely saw that.

Trying to regain your composure, you forced yourself to focus on your studies, though your mind kept drifting back to that fleeting moment of eye contact. You stole another glance from behind the cover of your book, only to find that Jeno had returned to his conversation with Jaemin, seemingly unaware of your presence. You let out a quiet sigh of relief, but the excitement and nervousness of the encounter lingered, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than him.

Exams arrived, and you couldn’t help but regret not studying as diligently as you should have. You knew you wouldn’t fail any of them, but you braced yourself for some disappointing scores. That did not stop you from attending an off-campus house party though.

The party was in full swing when you arrived, and you were having a blast with your girlfriends. Amid the laughter and music, you spotted Jeno with his group of friends. Your friends, in high spirits, decided to make a bet involving a game of flip-cup. The stakes were simple: if you lose, you had to go up and talk to Jeno.

“News travel fast,” you snickered, eyeing Sienna in particular.

Sienna shrugged nonchalantly. “Wasn’t me. They found out by themselves.”

“Yeah, you weren’t as slick as you thought,” said Olive, tossing the cup towards you.

“Don’t worry, babe,” said Kayla, squeezing your shoulder gently. “No one’s ratting you out.”

As the game progressed, you tried your best to lose, but Flip Cup just so happened to be one of those games you were oddly good at. Every time you thought you were about to lose, you somehow managed to pull through.

“Oh, come on! Just let her lose already,” Kayla teased from the sidelines, clearly enjoying the spectacle.

“You’re actually scared to talk to Jeno, are you?” Sienna asked with a grin, playfully nudging you. “There’s no way you’re this good.”

“I’m not scared!” you protested, though you were starting to sweat. “I’m just… strategically holding back.”

Your friends exchanged amused glances, clearly not buying your excuse. “You know what? I don’t even need this,” you said with a dramatic flair, taking a big swig of the spiked punch in your red cup. “I’m gonna go talk to him right now.”

“Oooh,” your friends chorused.

With newfound confidence, you made your way toward Jeno’s group. He stood by the music console with a few others, talking and laughing. You clenched and unclenched your fists, trying to squeeze out the nervousness that was starting to creep back in. The closer you got, the more your heart pounded, your palms growing clammy.

It would be easier if he was alone, you thought and it was like the universe heard your plea because his friends walked away from him, rushing somewhere else while cheering. You took a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to approach him. Just when you were almost within reach, Haechan unexpectedly passed by.

Without thinking, you grabbed his arm, veering off course. “Hi! I’ve been looking for you!” you blurted out, trying to sound casual.

Haechan blinked at you, baffled. “What? Why? What did I do?”

You forced a smile, dragging him further away from Jeno’s group. “Nothing. Just wanted to catch up with you!”

Haechan gave you a suspicious look, noting how you kept glancing over your shoulder. “What’s going on? You’re acting weird.”

When you were safely out of sight, you finally let go of Haechan and waved him off. “Go away.”

Haechan pointed at himself in mock disbelief. “Me? Go away? You’re the one who dragged me over here!”

“Well, thanks for your service. I don’t need you anymore,” you quipped, turning on your heel and heading back to your girlfriends. You were welcomed by their disappointed gazes.

“That was so anticlimactic,” Kayla remarked, shaking her head.

“Oh, shut up,” you sighed, rolling your eyes, though you couldn’t hide the rueful smile tugging at your lips.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of laughter and drinks. By the time you got home, you were drunk but wide awake, whining to your friends as you sprawled out on the living room carpet. Squinting up at the ceiling, you muttered, “I’m home.”

“Yeah, you are,” Sienna replied, nodding as she watched you.

You pointed at the lightbulb above you. “But I don’t see Jeno Lee. He should be here.”

“He probably would be if you didn’t chicken out at the last minute,” Sienna scolded, shaking her head. “And you’re not in your bedroom, dumbass. Get up!”

You groaned, closing your eyes as you smiled. “Next time... maybe.”

Sienna rolled her eyes and nudged you with her foot. “Yeah, sure. We’ll believe it when we see it.”

Days passed with you casually crossing paths with Jeno more often. It was like the universe had decided to make him appear everywhere you went. You noticed that you both arrived on campus around the same time, late in the morning at 10:30. He was often at the quad, surrounded by friends or just passing by. Each glimpse of him was like a small thrill, a bright spot in your routine school day.

The public library was a hit-or-miss; sometimes he was there, and other times he wasn’t. Still, you went there every day out of habit, mainly to read and also to see him if he happened to be there.

You got to know him in this way, piecing together bits of his life through observations and casual conversations with others. You learned about his friends, his classes, and his easygoing personality. He seemed to be well-liked by everyone, always ready with a smile or a kind word.

But there was one place you rarely saw him: the food court. It has been a while since you found out about him, and despite having mutual friends, you have yet to talk to him or share the same space. Today, you walked into the food court and scanned the place for any sign of him, only to be disappointed by his absence.

You settled on the chair next to Kayla, fixing your bag. Sliding next to you, Kayla whispered, “You look glum. Haven’t seen your crush today yet?”

You rolled your eyes at her mischievous grin. “No. And I’m not glum at all! Especially not because of that.”

Sienna snickered from her spot next to Haechan. “Yeah, you are totally glum because of that.”

Just as you were about to retort, you caught sight of Jeno walking into the cafeteria. Your heart skipped a beat as you watched him navigate through the crowd, his easy smile drawing you in. He greeted a few friends with casual high-fives and settled into a seat with a group of students—Mark, Jaemin, and Yangyang among them.

Kayla nudged you, a knowing look in her eyes. “There he is.”

“Yeah, don’t care,” you said, but the grin spreading across your face was a clear contradiction of your words.

Haechan shuddered exaggeratedly. “You’re so creepy when you smile like that.”

You shot him a glare. “And? How about making yourself useful to me for once and make it so that we can have lunch together?”

Haechan flashed a challenging smirk. “Think you can handle it?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you opened your salad. “Never mind. I don’t need your help. I can manage my own love life.”

“Sure you can,” he jeered. “Isn’t that why you still haven’t talked to him after all this time?”

You were about to snap back when Sienna interjected, “Table manners, sweethearts.”

Haechan rolled his eyes, then mimed zipping his lips. “Your friend is annoying,” he muttered to Sienna.

“And your boyfriend is super annoying,” you retorted.

“Your friend is ultra—” Haechan started, but Sienna cut him off.

“Stop it,” Sienna chided sternly. He quickly complied, pretending to lock his lips. “Ugh, kids.”

In the afternoon, as you were walking through the Arts building, you spotted a familiar figure down the hallway. It was Jeno! Your stomach fluttered, and you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing there. Curiosity got the best of you, and after some subtle investigation—okay, maybe a little eavesdropping—you discovered the reason. He had taken up Carpentry as an elective!

To make things even better, you were in that class! You had chosen it just for fun, but with Jeno there, your mind raced with possibilities as you found something new to look forward to. Did this mean you’d see him more often? What should you do? You have no idea yet, for now, you must go to class.

When saw him there, you could barely keep your eyes off him but you had to try. Though you didn’t have any chances to talk yet, you were content with just seeing him there, sharing the same space.

Later, you told Sienna and Kayla about it, your head floating in the clouds out of sheer joy. They exchanged amused looks, teasing you mercilessly about your "carpenter crush," but they understood your fascination, even if they enjoyed poking fun at you.

Carpentry was scheduled every Tuesday and Thursday. On Thursday, as you were heading to class, you found yourself walking behind him. He was talking to one of his friends, his laughter echoing in the hallway. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling a warm glow inside.

In class, you worked on your project, stealing glances at Jeno every now and then. The room smelled of clay, and the sound of tools clinking filled the air. He was focused on his own work, unaware of your silent admiration. It was enough for now, you told yourself. Just being near him was enough.

But as you worked on your project, sneaking glances at him, you knew this was just the beginning. There was a quiet contentment in being near him, but a part of you couldn’t help but hope for more—just one conversation, one chance to see if your feelings were more than just a crush.

“What are your plans for the Sports Fest?” Kayla asked, nudging your arm. “I’ll be doing Badminton Doubles with Olive.”

In the living room of your apartment, you and your friends gathered around the coffee table, eating takeout from a fast food restaurant. Everyone in your close circle was there, and you had asked them to bring Jeno but apparently, he had plans.

You waved your hand dismissively as you swallowed your food. “Hard pass. I’m still healing from that awful injury last year,” you replied, massaging your right wrist.

During last year’s sports fest, you played volleyball for your department. You remembered the sharp pain as you fell on your arm, the way your wrist twisted awkwardly beneath you. It had long since healed, but the memory of that day still lingered, leaving you with an irrational fear of getting hurt again. It was an awful experience that you would rather not relive.

“I thought you’re completely healed?” asked Mark, taking your hand to examine your wrist. “Did you break a bone? I thought it was just a sprain.”

“I’m just exaggerating,” you snickered, retracting your hand. “My wrist is healed but my heart is not. It’s called trauma.”

“Yeah, I know what it’s called,” Mark chuckled.

You eyed him curiously. “What about you? Basketball?”

Mark nodded, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Honestly, I can’t wait to kick Yangyang’s ass.”

Across the room on the leather couch, Yangyang was gobbling his burger. Unable to speak with his mouth full, he flipped a middle finger at Mark, who just laughed.

“Ah, I almost forgot!” Mark exclaimed, looking at you with widened eyes. “Jeno’s playing too!”

The mention of Jeno made your face light up. “He is?”

“Look at you all bright and excited,” Jaemin teased.

Renjun smirked, patting his hands as he finished his food. “Watch her betray her department and cheer for a different team again. Like she did last year for her ex.”

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, covering your ears and closing your eyes. “No bad words on the dinner table.”

Sienna leaned in with a smirk. “Wanna bet she’d cheer for the Humanities Department this year?”

Kayla chimed in, “Pass. We all know she’d support Jeno no matter what.”

You rolled your eyes, but the thought lingered. “We’ll see,” you mumbled, hiding your smile behind another bite of food. “I’ll be there for all your games, though. Moral support and all.”

The three-day Sports Fest dawned on NCIT with a strong air of festivity and excitement. Banners and streamers hung around the campus, bearing the crests and colors of each department. For the first two days, you cheered and supported your friends in their respective sports, while making sure not to miss each one of Jeno’s basketball games. In between games, you enjoyed the booths that the clubs had set up on the campus grounds. There were food stalls with a variety of snacks and meal sets. There were fair games with plush toys for prizes. Your favorite was the photobooth where you and your friends took lots of pictures to commemorate the event.

The last day of the event was for championships. To showcase the camaraderie of the student body, everyone dressed in the colors of their respective departments, and the entire campus thrummed with cheers and enthusiasm for the day.

You wore a vivid blue shirt bearing the crest of the Humanities Department and throughout the day, you moved courts cheering for your friends in their respective sports. Haechan did well in his soccer game, and Kayla seemed to have secured the silver for your department. But the highlight of your day was the basketball championship.

It was a match between the Humanities Department and the Engineering Department. The covered court was booming with cheers from the students who filled up the bleachers. The school band played an upbeat tune, adding to the festive atmosphere. You and your friends went early to get the best seats to watch the game. The blue flaglets in your hand blended with everyone else on your side of the court. On the other, green long balloons were cheering for the Engineering department.

Players were warming up down at the court, stretching, and doing practice shooting before the game officially began. Mark spotted your group and waved two hands at you.

“Boo!” Yangyang jeered beside you with his thumbs down. He was salty after his Business Department lost to Engineering yesterday.

You looked for Jeno among the different faces. There he was, dressed in his uniform—white and green jersey, matching shorts, and sneakers that seemed to gleam under the bright lights. The uniform hugged his athletic build, showcasing his toned muscles and broad shoulders. He blended in with the team but the way he moved with an easy grace and confident stride made him stand out even more in your eyes.

“Close your mouth!” Jaemin teased, earning a chorus of laughter from your friends. “We don’t want Jeno to see you drooling.”

You quickly clamped your mouth shut, feeling your cheeks heat up as Sienna nudged you with a knowing smile. Still, you couldn’t take your eyes off Jeno. The way he carried himself and the way his eyes sparkled with excitement made him look even more captivating. It was as if he was glowing, radiating an aura of coolness and charisma.

As the final minutes before the game ticked away, the energy in the court grew higher. You could feel your pulse quicken in sync with the rising tension in the air. The earlier games and festivities had been thrilling, but this match was the one you’d been waiting for. You couldn’t help but wonder if Jeno had noticed you in the crowd during his previous games, or if he was too focused on the game to even glance your way. The thought made your heart race, but you pushed it aside, deciding to enjoy the view instead.

As the game started, the energy in the court surged to new heights. You were on the edge of your seat, your heart pounding in time with the rhythm of the game. The Humanities Department was strong, but your eyes were only on Jeno and his team. Every time the Engineering Department scored, you couldn’t help but leap to your feet, waving your blue flaglets as if they were green.

“Go, Engineering!” you shouted, your voice ringing out loud and clear among the crowd. You were so absorbed in cheering for Jeno that you didn’t even notice the confused looks from your own department. It was strange, even to you, seeing someone in the vivid blue of Humanities cheering so passionately for the opposing team.

It didn’t take long for Jeno to notice your enthusiastic support. During a brief pause in the game, he glanced in your direction. Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes met, and a slow, amused smile spread across his face. You could feel your cheeks flush, but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling back, your heart soaring.

Throughout the game, you continued to cheer louder than anyone else, your voice echoing across the court. Every time Jeno glanced your way, you felt a thrill shoot through you, making you cheer even louder. At one point, he made a particularly impressive play—a quick steal and a flawless layup—that had you jumping to your feet with a wild cheer.

As he jogged back down the court, he caught your eye again and flashed you another smile, a playful glint in his eyes that sent you straight to cloud nine. It was as if the rest of the world had faded away, leaving just the two of you in a bubble of shared glances and silent connections.

“Are you even from Humanities?” Yangyang teased, nudging you with his elbow. “You might as well be wearing green.”

You just laughed, too giddy to care about the odd looks you were getting. Nothing else mattered at that moment. All you could think about was Jeno—how his every move seemed effortless, how his smiles made you feel like you were the only one in the crowd.

The game continued, but you were already winning in your own way, basking in the warmth of Jeno’s attention. Mark had been grinning mischievously at you, clearly amused by your bold display.

The game was intense, with both teams neck and neck until the final quarter. The tension in the air was palpable, every dribble and pass holding the crowd in suspense. You were on your feet almost the entire time, cheering your heart out for the Engineering team, and especially for Jeno. With every basket, your voice rose above the rest, earning even more curious and amused glances from those around you.

As the clock ticked down the final seconds, the Engineering team managed to pull ahead by just a few points. The crowd roared as Jeno’s team scored the winning basket, securing the championship title. You screamed with joy, jumping up and down, waving your flaglets wildly. It didn’t matter that you were in blue—you felt like you were part of the victory too.

After the game, as the teams shook hands and congratulated each other, you noticed Mark heading your way, with Jeno walking right beside him. Your heart skipped a beat again, and you tried to calm your racing thoughts as they approached.

Mark grinned widely as he reached you. “Hey, Jeno,” he said, turning to his friend, “I’ve got to introduce you to the loudest cheerleader you had out there today.”

You felt a blush creeping up your neck as Mark gestured toward you. Jeno’s eyes sparkled with recognition, and that familiar smile curved on his lips.

“I am honored,” Jeno said, his voice warm and teasing. “I could hear you all the way from the court. Thanks for the support, even though you’re… clearly not from Engineering.”

You laughed, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves. “I couldn’t help it,” you admitted, grinning up at him. “You guys were just too good.”

Jeno chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “We appreciate it. You should consider switching departments,” he added playfully.

You shook your head, still smiling. “I’m pretty attached to Humanities. I’ll always root for you though.”

“Good to know,” Jeno said, his eyes meeting yours with a softness that made your heart flutter all over again.

Mark smirked, clearly pleased with himself for setting up this interaction. “You guys are coming to the party tonight, right?”

You shrugged, glancing at your friends behind you. “We wouldn’t miss it!” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Great,” Jeno said, his smile widening. “Let’s celebrate, then.”

As the crowd began to disperse and the festivities moved off the court, you couldn’t believe your luck. As you walked out of the court, surrounded by friends and buzzing with excitement, you couldn’t help but feel like something wonderful had begun.

“The ship is finally sailing!” Kayla chimed as you exited the campus together with Sienna.

“About damn time!” Sienna exclaimed and the three of you squealed in excitement.

Tonight, you will talk to Jeno Lee. You had finally made up your mind about it. It should be so hard now, considering he now knows of your existence and you two had already been introduced.

You arrived at the provided address with Kayla, wrapped in thick coats due to the cold weather. The house was a sprawling two-story with a large backyard, and it was already rowdy. Music blared from the speakers set up on the patio, and the air was filled with the sounds of laughter and chatter.

Inside, the party was in full swing and you had to lose your coats due to the hotter atmosphere. The living room was packed with students, some lounging on plush sofas while others danced to the beat of the music. Red solo cups and plates of snacks were scattered everywhere, and the whole house was filled with the aroma of pizza and chips. Green LED lights and the Engineering department’s green banners added a nice touch.

You were there to have fun, that’s a given. But you were mainly there to see Jeno, you wouldn’t deny that fact. It wasn’t hard to find him. He was standing near the snack table, talking and laughing with a group of friends. He seemed to be in high spirits, smiling and looking handsome under the warm glow of the lights.

He moved across the room, catching your eye, and for a moment, you froze, wondering if he noticed you. When he settled on a single couch and pulled out his phone, you took this as your cue to approach him.

“Okay. Calm down,” you told yourself, steadying your breathing. “You’re just gonna say hi. Tell him he did great at the game or something.”

With your heart pounding, you started walking towards him, rehearsing your words in your mind. Just as you were about five steps away, you noticed a girl walk up to Jeno. She had a confident stride and a friendly smile. Your steps faltered, and you hesitated, watching as they exchanged a few words. And then, in a moment that felt like it was stretching on forever, they kissed.

It was a brief but unmistakable kiss, a tender connection that spoke volumes. His hand around her waist was firm, and the smile he gave her should have been sweet, but it was painful for you to look at.

Your heart sank, and the world around you seemed to blur. The warmth of the party, the music, and the lively chatter all faded into a distant hum. A cold, empty feeling settled in your chest, making it hard to breathe. It felt as though someone had pressed pause on your world, leaving you standing on the edge of a scene you could no longer be a part of.

You turned away quickly, embarrassed and worried someone might notice you gawking. You took a deep breath, lifted your chin, and walked the opposite way, pretending you hadn’t seen anything. But the image was seared into your mind, refusing to fade.

You forced a smile at some students who recognized you, but your heart was aching so badly that you felt like crying. The excitement of the evening had dimmed, replaced by a feeling of quiet sadness. Still, you forced yourself to stay, determined not to let the moment ruin the night entirely. You were supposed to have fun here, after all, however difficult that might be now.

“Hey, you okay?” Kayla suddenly appeared by your side, his eyes searching your face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied, forcing another smile. “Just needed some air.”

Kayla didn’t seem convinced, but she didn’t push it. Instead, she looped her arm through yours. “Let’s find something to drink.”

You nodded, grateful for the distraction. The two of you made your way to the kitchen, where a group of students were mixing drinks and chatting loudly. You grabbed a soda and pretended to listen to the conversations around you, though your mind kept drifting back to what you had just witnessed.

After a few minutes, Kayla nudged you. “There’s Sienna and Haechan! Let’s go say hi.”

You followed her gaze and spotted the couple near the back door, laughing with a group of students. She greeted you both with a big hug, immediately noticing your mood.

“What’s up?” Sienna asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

You shrugged, trying to downplay it. “Just tired.”

Sienna eyed you for a moment before nodding. “Well, this party better wake you up! Come on, let’s dance.”

You allowed yourself to be dragged to the makeshift dance floor, where the music was louder, and the energy was infectious. You danced along with Kayla and Sienna, trying to lose yourself in the rhythm. For a moment, it worked. You laughed and moved to the beat, letting the music drown out your thoughts.

But it wasn’t long before your mind wandered back to Jeno. You caught glimpses of him across the room, and each time, the image of him with that girl played on repeat in your head. It hurt more than you wanted to admit.

As the night wore on, you found yourself sitting on the living room couch, watching people play, talk, and drink. Your mind floated to space, consumed by thoughts of Jeno. Everything had gone so wrong so fast. Suddenly, this whole crush thing felt ridiculous and stupid. How classic of you to jump into something without carefully measuring the fall.

Just as you were about to drown in your thoughts, Mark appeared from the crowd, smiling as he skipped over to you and plopped down on the couch beside you. “There you are! Having fun?”

“Hey,” you said weakly, trying to muster some enthusiasm. But Mark’s scowl told you that you weren’t fooling him.

“Apparently not. Is everything okay?” Mark asked, concern etched across his face.

You hesitated, then let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah. Just… tired,” you replied, chuckling softly as you leaned your head on his shoulder. “I should probably just go home.”

“Why? Shouldn’t you be talking to Jeno right now?”

“Ugh, forget it. I don’t like him anymore.”

Mark winced. “What happened? Did you find an ick that made you cringe?”

You exhaled sharply, glaring at him. “Go away if you’re just gonna talk about Jeno all night.”

“Alright, fine. I won’t,” he chuckled heartily, raising his hands in surrender. Then, he offered you his bottle of beer with a grin.

Without hesitating, you grabbed it and chugged the contents in one go. The cold liquid burned down your throat, and you burped a little too loudly, causing Mark to burst out laughing. You were annoyed at first, but his laughter was contagious, and soon enough, you found yourself laughing along with him. The heavy weight on your chest lifted even only for a moment, replaced by a warmth that spread through you, making everything a little more bearable.

It wasn’t difficult at all to push Jeno out of your mind: you just had to focus on other things. Mornings began with the shrill ring of the alarm, followed by a hasty breakfast and the walk to school. Classes became a sanctuary of focus. The workload was manageable, and you found a rhythm in balancing your assignments with extracurricular activities. You continued to be the congenial girl that you are, making friends here and there while keeping up with old ones.

Carpentry class, however, was a different story. Jeno sat just a few tables away, his presence a constant, aching reminder. You occasionally caught glimpses of him, but your gazes never lingered anymore, concentrating instead on your projects.

Lunchtimes were spent mostly with Kayla and Sienna—Haechan too since he couldn’t seem to stand being away from his girlfriend. You shared stories and laughter over cafeteria food that ranged from surprisingly decent to downright questionable. You talk about your classes, your adjustments, and, occasionally, the lingering shadow of your crush. They couldn’t believe their ears when you said you didn’t like him anymore. When you refused to tell them why, they didn’t press for an answer.

Afternoons were reserved for your favorite spot in the public library. It was your quiet retreat, and if Jeno happened to be there, you hardly noticed. Your focus was on your reading and studies, pushing aside any lingering thoughts of him.

Evenings are quieter. You come home, tired but content, and reflect on the day’s events. You sit at your desk, do your homework, and occasionally glance at social media, where Jeno’s updates serve as a bittersweet reminder of a failed romance—not that it even began in the first place.

Fate had other plans though. Like a prank just to rain on your parade, you were paired with Jeno for a Carpentry project.

If this had happened before you discovered he was taken, you would have been over the moon with excitement, thrilled by the prospect of working closely with him. But now, all you could feel was apprehension and awkwardness.

“Looks like we’re partners,” he said, his heart-melting smile making it impossible to ignore the flutter in your chest.

“Yeah, looks like it,” you replied, striving for nonchalance despite the storm of emotions brewing inside you.

As you both settled at a table, the world seemed to shrink to just the two of you and the project before you. You mentally scolded yourself, determined not to fall back into the crazy crush you’d put behind you.

“So, where do we start?” you asked, pulling out your notebook and your pen case out of your bag.

Before responding, Jeno tilted his head slightly, studying you with a curious expression. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

Nervousness engulfed you. “What do you mean?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“The taxi cab a few months back,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips. “It was pouring and I barged into your cab.”

You laughed shyly. “Of course. I remember.”

He nodded, leaning back slightly. “What about before that?”

“Before?” you asked stupidly, racking your brain.

“The library. You fell, and I—”

“Ah!” you exclaimed, suddenly recalling the day you first met him. You laughed softly, shaking your head. “How could I forget?”

Jeno chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “So, you remembered? Why didn’t you say anything?”

You scoffed. “Why didn’t you?”

He shrugged. “I thought you might not recognize me.”

Oh god, Jeno, if you only knew, you thought, suppressing a smile. “Well, now we know,” you said in feigned indifference. There was a moment of silence, a comfortable one, where the two of you simply looked at each other, a newfound connection sparking between you.

“So,” you said, breaking the silence with a smile. You pressed a thumb on the sheet handed to you by Mr. Harris. “Shall we get started?”

“Sure,” he replied, his smile widening.

This could be it—the beginning of something new, a chance to turn a long-held crush into a real connection. And you would have been ready for it if not for the fact that he had a girlfriend. So you pushed your feelings aside and resolved to not step out of the line.

What started as an academic collaboration soon turned into something more comfortable and natural. You got to know each other in the few days you spent working together so far. Your task was to create a fully functional reclining chair, and from the outset, it was clear that this was going to be a challenging project. The first day, you both laid out the design, Jeno’s enthusiasm was infectious and it was clear that he was enjoying this class, unlike you who only signed up for fun.

“I think we should go with a sleek, modern look,” he suggested, his eyes bright with excitement. You nodded in agreement, appreciating his vision and passion for the project.

Jeno was surprisingly meticulous with his measurements and cuts, his focus sharp and his explanations clear. You found his dedication impressive and his passion for the craft endearing. He showed you how to properly measure and cut the wood. His patience and willingness to teach made the learning process enjoyable.

One afternoon, as you worked on sanding the wooden pieces, Jeno shared a story about his childhood, describing how his father used to involve him in small woodworking projects around the house. His eyes lit up with nostalgia, and you could see the joy in his voice as he spoke. It was a side of him you hadn’t seen before, and it made you appreciate him even more.

In return, you told him about your own experiences, your hobbies, and the challenges you faced when balancing school and extracurriculars. Jeno listened intently, his smile genuine and his responses thoughtful. The conversation flowed easily, and you found yourself laughing more than you had in a long time.

During these sessions, you learned that Jeno was more than just a charming basketball player. He was kind, thoughtful, and had a dry sense of humor that made you chuckle. You also discovered that he was a great listener, always eager to hear your thoughts and ideas. Despite your resolve to forget about your crush, you couldn’t deny that he was easy to talk to and genuinely pleasant to be around. Funny how it was so much easier to get to know him and talk to him now that you decided to forget having a crush on him.

Still, there was no point in hoping to make a special connection with someone who’s taken.

“You were really good at it,” you told him once when you happened to talk about the Engineering Department’s basketball win. You were in the workshop, watching him color the sketch you made for your project.

“Not good enough to be MVP,” he said, shaking his head without lifting his head. “Speaking of, you were really supportive then.”

You shrugged, mentally rolling your eyes at how silly you were at the time. “I’m a fan of Mark’s when it comes to basketball,” you said, saving face with a harmless lie. “You were amazing too, so I thought you deserved the cheers.”

Jeno chuckled heartily, eyes crinkling as he looked up at you momentarily. The mole under his eye was a cute distraction. “You’re praising me too much. I should take you out to dinner.”

You flashed a deadpan expression before you burst out laughing. Jeno watched you with a goofy grin.

“I guess that was too fast, huh? Should I have gone for coffee instead?” he said and you could swear he was flirting with you.

Rolling your eyes, you brushed your assumptions aside. “I am tempted. But I must decline.”

He shrugged, taking your rejection in stride. “I’ll try again tomorrow then.”

“Charming,” you mocked. “It’s a shame you’re in a relationship. I would have accepted.”

Jeno’s hand froze on the sketchpad, looking up at you with a confused expression. “I’m in a relationship? Since when?”

“Since—” you paused, realizing the tone of his voice just now. “Wait, you’re not?”

You stared at each other, confusion and bewilderment visible on your faces. Before either of you could break the silence, Mr. Harris arrived to dismiss the class.

“I have to go,” you told him, gathering your stuff in haste before rushing out of the room.

The living room of Renjun, Haechan, and Yangyang’s shared apartment was peaceful, the slow melodic music playing in the background bringing a tranquil vibe to the space. Sitting on the carpeted floor with their heads resting on the couch were Haechan, Jaemin, and Mark. The three of them had sheet masks on their faces, and on the coffee table sat a humidifier fogging the room with a sweet citrusy vanilla scent.

Renjun sat on the sofa, reading a book while also wearing a sheet mask. From the small kitchen, Sienna emerged with a glass of water.

“How’s it going?” she asked, beaming at the calming view of her friends taking care of their skin. It was her idea, of course. They do this once every two weeks, even calling it Spa Day.

“I look forward to this every time, Sienna,” said Jaemin before taking a deep breath.

Kayla appeared next to Sienna with a smirk. “You’re doing God’s work, S. I doubt these boys would recognize a moisturizer if it smacked them on the face.”

“Or a sunscreen,” Sienna added and the two shared a laugh. “They’re running late, aren’t they?” she asked, referring to you and Yangyang.

“Well, Yangyang said he’s opting out because he needs to be somewhere today. As for our girl—” Kayla was cut off by the loud sound of the door slamming open. The sound briefly shattered the tranquility of the atmosphere, catching everyone off-guard and even causing Renjun to jolt up from his seat.

All eyes turned to the doorway where you stood with your hand on the door, huffing as if you’d been running. Your eyes were wide and color seemed to have been drained from your face.

“Speak of the devil,” Kayla quipped, walking over to you.

Haechan tutted sternly. “Did you really have to slam the door like that? You’re so dramatic.”

Ignoring Haechan’s taunting, you walked into the flat and stood in front of Jaemin and Mark, who both looked up at you curiously.

“What’s up?” Jaemin asked, grinning.

“Tell me. Does Jeno have a girlfriend?”

Mark’s brows furrowed. “Not that I know of,” he said, turning to Jaemin for confirmation.

Jaemin shook his head at Mark and turned to you. “No. He doesn’t.”

You dropped your bag on the floor and knelt next to Jaemin, placing your shaking hands on his forearm. “But I saw him kiss this gorgeous girl at the Engineering party last month.”

“Really?” he questioned. He pondered for a moment and you shook his arms impatiently. “Last month? Then it must have been Camille from Com-Sci.”

“Do you know her?” you asked, confusion and concern evident.

“Yeah, she asked Jeno out, but he turned her down. I thought they might have hooked up, but Jeno said nothing happened,” Jaemin explained.

You cast a suspicious gaze at him. “Are you lying?”

Jaemin scoffed. “No. Why would I lie to you?”

“So, he’s single?” you asked, your voice tinged with relief.

“Pretty much,” Jaemin confirmed.

“Does he… you know… sleep around?” you asked hesitantly.

Jaemin chuckled, shaking his head. “Not as far as I know. But if he did, I’d rather not talk about his sex life.”

You rose to your feet, heading for the couch and slumping on it, face first. Thoughts raced in your head, so many of them at the same time that it was almost incoherent.

Mark turned to you on the couch. “Wait, you said you didn’t like him anymore? Was that the reason?”

“Oh my god!” Kayla exclaimed, realization slowly dawning on your friends.

“You saw him kiss a girl?” Renjun recalled, looking lost and confused. “And thought she was his girlfriend?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice muffled by the soft couch. You flailed your arms and kicked your legs in frustration. “God! I was so stupid!”

Sienna sat on the couch, taking your head and gently placing it on her lap. “No, you’re not. It was a completely normal reaction. I’d think he’s dating someone too if I saw him kiss her.”

“Right?” you blurted, lifting your head to see her face. You shifted on the couch, sitting up properly. “But that was a total miss, wasn’t it?”

“Kind of,” Sienna shrugged.

“Yeah, you should have just asked,” Mark added, smoothing out the sheet mask on his face.

Kayla sat on your other side. “So if he’s single, does that mean you can take another shot at him? You guys know each other now, right?”

You smiled sheepishly. “I don’t know. I’m kinda bummed now. Although I’m gonna be honest, I’m relieved that he’s single. I just… lost the motivation.”

“You still like him though, right?” Sienna asked.

You nodded and the girls exchanged looks. Kayla said, “Then what’s stopping you now?”

The realization began to settle in. Maybe things weren’t as complicated as you’d thought. This could very well be the universe giving you a second chance. Perhaps now you can approach him without the weight of false assumptions.

You shook your head slowly, processing the revelation. “What am I even gonna do about it? It’s not like I had a shot in the first place.”

Jaemin chuckled mischievously. “I don’t know why you’re saying that, but I think you have a clear shot.”

“Yeah. You can’t give up now after everything you’ve done so far!”

Haechan giggled beside Sienna. “Did anyone else notice that whenever we do Spa Day, we get juicy girl conversations like this?”

Leave it to Haechan to ruin an otherwise lovely moment. As you laughed along with your friends, you felt a renewed sense of hope. Maybe this time, things could turn out differently.

The familiar scent of freshly cut wood and the sound of saws and sanders filled the air as you entered the Carpentry workshop. Your eyes scanned the room, landing on Jeno. He was already there, engrossed in his work, brows furrowed in concentration as he shaped a piece of wood.

Oddly, it felt gratifying to see him now knowing he wasn’t actually in love with someone. The sight of him always made your heart race, but today it felt different—more hopeful. You walked over to your workstation, trying to appear casual while stealing glances at him.

Jeno looked up and caught your eye, giving you a small, friendly nod. You returned the gesture, feeling a warm flutter in your chest. The knowledge that Jeno was single was a game-changer, but pursuing a relationship with him was an entirely different dilemma. You first needed to figure out if he even liked you at all.

Just the thought of being rejected was already bruising your pride and crushing your spirit. For now, you were resolved to act as normally as possible around him and avoid revealing your feelings.

You smiled, feeling a little self-conscious. Relax, you told yourself. It’s not like he—or anyone else—can read your mind. “Actually, yeah. Could you show me how to get this joint right?”

“Sure thing,” he said, his voice calm and patient. He walked over, and you held your breath nervously as he stood close to you. Trying to focus on his instructions, you found your gaze fixated on his lips.

“You got that?” he asked, eyes meeting yours.

You blinked, surprised and confused. “Sorry?”

Jeno chuckled lightly. “It’ll be easier if I just show you. Here.”

He took your hands in his, placing them on the piece of wood. The warmth from his skin seeped onto yours, sending a blush to your already burning cheeks. You mentally scolded yourself for being awkward and reminded yourself to breathe or you’d pass out.

Unaware of your mental struggle, Jeno guided your hands deftly, showing you the right angle. “See? It’s all about the angle,” he said, glancing up and catching your gaze. You quickly looked away, cheeks flushing.

“Got it,” you mumbled, attempting to steady your racing heart. Whatever happened to not being obvious? you screamed in your head.

As he continued to explain, you found yourself relaxing, letting his steady presence and soothing voice calm your nerves. You managed to follow his instructions, feeling a small surge of triumph when you finally got it right.

“There you go,” Jeno said with a smile, his eyes twinkling with approval. “You’re a natural.”

“Thanks,” you replied, trying to sound casual despite the butterflies in your stomach.

“Anytime,” he said, still standing close.

As days turned into weeks, you found yourself admiring Jeno more and more. His dedication to the project was evident in every detail, from the meticulous sanding of each piece to the careful assembly of the frame. He was not just talented but also incredibly kind and encouraging, always ready with a smile or a reassuring word when you struggled with a task.

One afternoon, as you both worked on the chair’s reclining mechanism, Jeno glanced over at you, his expression thoughtful. “You’ve got a real knack for this,” he said, his voice warm with sincerity. “I’m impressed.”

Your heart fluttered at his compliment, and you felt a rush of gratitude. “Thanks, Jeno. I couldn’t have done it without your help,” you replied, meeting his gaze.

Your admiration for him grew with each shared glance and quiet conversation. During breaks, you chatted about everything from school to personal interests, laughing together over jokes and enjoying companionable silence. The air between you was charged with a growing sense of familiarity and ease.

“Do you have any hobbies outside of this?” he asked one day, genuinely curious.

“I love photography,” you admitted, feeling more comfortable sharing your passions with him. “Though I’m not very good at it. I like to sketch too, sometimes.”

“Oh yeah. The sketch you made for this chair was awesome. It looked like you can actually touch the details,” Jeno said, a smile spreading across his face.

“Yeah, you already told me that,” you chimed.

“Maybe you could show me some of your work sometime.”

“Hmm. I only show it to my close friends,” you teased, grinning at him when he clutched his chest pretending to be hurt by your words.

“Four weeks of being partners and I still don’t count as a close friend?” he questioned, face contorted in mock offense and curiosity.

“You're overreacting. Four weeks is only eight days for us, Jeno Lee. We have Carpentry class on Tuesdays and Thursdays only.”

“But we worked on this outside class last Friday.”

“Once. That’s nine days. Still not a lot of time,” you quipped. It was gradual but the boundaries between project partners and friends began to blur for you and Jeno, which is why you now feel comfortable just hanging out and joking around like this. Although you’re still gaga about him and get butterflies over the smallest gestures, you no longer get tongue-tied or nervous around him.

You went from sneaking glances at him in the cafeteria to sharing lunch together twice. From admiring him quietly in the quad or the library to smiling and saying ‘Hi’. You were definitely friends now, although not as close. It was a welcome change, making you look forward to every school day.

One particularly memorable afternoon, you both struggled with the final adjustments to the chair. You have been working on this mechanism for a while now and still couldn’t get it to work properly. You’ve done everything you possibly could, even getting hands-on help from your professor.

“Now, then,” Mr Harris said, wiping the sweat on his forehead. “Try that again.”

You nodded, feeling a surge of determination. Working together, you managed to align the pieces perfectly, and the chair finally reclined smoothly. There were quiet gasps in the classroom while you and Jeno stared at each other with mouths hanging open.

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, hands flying over your mouth. Quietly, you added, “We did it.”

Jeno’s smile was warm and relieved. “We did it,” he echoed.

.Overwhelmed with joy, you threw your arms around his neck, and he hugged you back, lifting you slightly off your feet. Realizing belatedly that you were hugging Jeno made you hyper-aware of the moment. You shyly pulled away, glancing anywhere but at him. Mr. Harris was clapping behind him, making you smile gratefully.

Being lifted made you hyper-aware, realizing belatedly that you were hugging Jeno. You shyly pulled away, glancing anywhere else but Jeno. Mr Harris was clapping behind him, making you smile gratefully.

“Thanks, sir!” you told your professor.

“Mr. Harris was putting you up for failure when he assigned you the reclining chair,” one of your classmates quipped, walking over to examine your work.

You laughed lightly, watching your other classmates approach your worktable. Your eyes met Jeno’s among your classmates, and he showed you a thumbs-up which you returned with a smile. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as your mind replayed the part where you were hugging Jeno over and over.

Jeno approached you with a proud smile in his eyes. “We did it!” he said, giving you a high-five that lingered just a moment longer than necessary. The brief contact sent a thrill through you, a reminder of how much you enjoyed being close to him.

Mr. Harris announced that the projects would be judged by other professors, which would impact your grades. Every pair had completed their pieces—tables, lamps, chairs, and more. While yours might not be the prettiest, you hoped it would get the recognition it deserved.

After class, as students cleaned up, Jeno pointed out something that made you laugh. “You’ve got a lot of pens and pencils,” he said, eyebrows raised and eyes wide. “Like, a lot.”

“That’s not even half of them. I keep buying them for no reason. It’s hoarding at this point,” you admitted with a sheepish grin.

“Hmm. I see,” he responded, still amused. He leaned on the worktable, his backpack slung over one shoulder. “You must write a lot. Or draw.”

“Like I told you before, I sketch. And I do write, but not as much as you think. Even if I did, the sheer volume of pens I have is excessive. I think I need to see a psychiatrist for this,” you joked, shaking your head.

Jeno shook his head, “I don’t think so. Everyone is allowed their own harmless obsession. Mine is probably weirder.”

Your curiosity piqued, you asked, “Oh really? What’s yours?”

He hesitated, a glint of embarrassment in his eyes. “Nah, you don’t wanna know.”

Sometimes it was frustrating that Jeno was completely clueless about your massive crush on him. If he had even the slightest clue, he’d know you were definitely—absolutely—totally, interested in anything and everything about him.

“Actually, I do,” you replied, trying to tone down your interest to the Not-So-Obsessed-With-Him Level.

Jeno looked away, scratching his nape. “Forget it. Let’s just go.”

“Oh come on, you can’t say something like that and then not tell me!” you protested, playfully nudging him.

After some pestering, he finally confessed, “When I was in high school, I liked keeping confetti.”

“Confetti?”

“Not just any confetti. Only the ones from our basketball games. The ones where we win. Like a little memento.”

You smiled at his revelation, zipping your bag after you finished packing your stuff. “That’s actually really cute.”

“No, it’s not,” he said, looking away shyly with his ears reddening out of embarrassment.

“It is!” you insisted, letting him take your bag after he stopped you from wearing it over your shoulder. “Didn’t you say everyone is allowed their own harmless obsessions?”

“Alright… I guess?” Jeno shrugged, a shy smile making his cheeks burn. You walked out of the classroom together, your bag in his hand. “I have them in small ziplock bags.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Why ziplock bags? Don’t you have a jar or something?”

“I do, but it’s easier to organize them with ziplock bags.”

“How about a scrapbook? You could glue them in and write about them.”

“Uh… no thanks. I’m not at all artistic or craftsy.”

“You were good with woodworking though.”

“That’s different.”

The project is nearly complete. You realized how much you cherished these moments with Jeno. The reclining chair, with its smooth lines and functional elegance, stood as a testament to your combined efforts and growing friendship. But more than that, it symbolized the bond you had forged through hard work, shared dreams, and mutual respect. The realization filled you with a quiet sense of joy and hope that this closeness would continue to grow even after the project ended.

[To be continued in Part 2]

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mothandpidgeon · 3 months ago

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P Boy Podcasts

I was swapping podcast recs with @schnarfer and asked her what kind of podcasts would each of the Pedro boys host? (I’m a bit of a podcast junkie. I'm literally listening to one right now.) Well, we were brainstorming and I went and created episode art for each of their shows. Which ones are you subscribing to?

Nic on Nic Get a peek into the brain of legendary talent Nicolas Cage. Cage collaborator (and fanboy) Javi Guttierez is watching everything from Con Air to National Treasure 2. Take a deep dive into the films of Nic Cage and hear exclusive interviews with the man himself.

The Unfortunates There are spies living among us, everyday people living double lives. What makes them do it? And how do they keep their secrets? Each week, Dave York shares a true story from the clandestine world of espionage.

Foundlings Din Djarin’s parenting journey has never gone to plan because he never planned on becoming a dad! Come along as he navigates the challenges of single parenting a 50 year old son. Each week Din leads insightful discussions with a range of guests— pediatricians, parenting experts, and other parents that are just trying to figure it all out.

Declassified Drugs, danger, and dames. The fall of Escobar made way for the Cali Cartel. Hear the story from Agent Javier Pena as he recalls the hunt for the Cali Cartel and reveals details that have never been heard before.

Tales from the Green Ezra shares spooky fales of distant worlds on this anthology fiction podcast. All set on the Green Moon, these bizarre and enthralling stories introduce you to a lush world filled with intrigue and danger.

Heist The Mona Lisa only became a cultural icon after it was stolen in 1911. Learn about the greatest capers in the art world with host Marcus Pike. Hear first hand accounts going undercover during his time in the FBI.

No Cap 4 best friends chat about anything and everything. Hear Santi, Will, Frankie, and Ben give their takes on dating, travel, and current events. You’ll love listening to them react to r/aita.

UNKNOWN ZONE Alien encounter? Evidence of the lost city of Atlantis? Ghost fucking? Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Join celebrity host Dieter Bravo for real life brushes with the unknown!

Joel’s Construction Corner Have a burning home improvement question? Or maybe you just like a southern drawl? Host Joel Miller has 30 years of experience in contracting and he’s here to share his advice with you. As soon as he figures out how to use this damn computer. Ellie does the ad reads with a pun for every one.

Hungry History What does the invention of margarine have to do with Napoleon? Did Marco Polo really introduce pasta to Italy? Which Founding Father had a craving for ice cream? Follow your stomach to discover the origins of your favorite foods as we travel back in time with host Pero Tovar.

I might've gone overboard. But I wish these all existed???

If you reblog this please rec me your favorite podcasts in the tags.

#podcast #pedro pascal #pedro boys #p boys #joel miller #marcus pike #dave york #pero tovar #ezra prospect #dieter bravo #frankie morales #javier pena #din djarin

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agentmarvel · 6 months ago

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SMUT ❤️‍🔥

PRICE 💰

“Summer heat” 🥵

starting this off right! 😈 thank you, cali!🖤 enjoy!

john price x afab!reader

cw: smut

mdni - 18+; minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

You fucked up, you know that now. Now that Price has your knees pushed up by your ears, the weight of his torso pinning you in place as he drives his thick length into you mercilessly, giving you nowhere to go, no room to move. Your hips are pulled up from the dirt, heels barely grazing his shoulders, and all you can do is take what he’s giving you.

“John,” you whine as best you can, high and breathless, with two of his fingers pressing at the back of your tongue and tears threatening to spill from your lash line. It’s overwhelming how fucking good it feels, how full you are.

He tuts his disapproval, pulling his fingers from the warmth of your mouth just to clap his hand over it.

“Gotta keep quiet, lovey; don’t want the boys to hear, do ya?” The way your eyes fill with panic before rolling back again seems to spur him on. “Or maybe you do? Want ‘em to see what a good girl you are? Want ‘em to see how fuckin’ well you take me? Sure didn’t have a problem showin’ off earlier, eh?”

Admittedly, you know better than to wear shorts in the field. Especially with Price around, lest you be bent over the nearest surface and railed within an inch of your life. He’s grown awfully fond of your thighs. Whether he’s wearing them as earmuffs in a darkened corner of the barracks, digging his fingers into them while you’re warming his cock at his desk, or biting into them in the back of a humvee; in the field, on base, or at a dive bar in the city, it’s of no consequence to him. He can’t get enough - self-professed - and makes no effort to hide it.

But you’re a communications officer, for Christ’s sake! You’re in the desert. It’s a sweltering 115 degrees out. You stay strictly in your tent with your monitors and drone controls and fans, so what’s the harm?

His palm mutes the carnal whimpers and moans that he drags from your throat, none of which are of your own volition. Your nails bite into his shoulders, leaving angry, red indents in the shape of crescents behind. He bottoms out for what feels like the millionth time, warning that he’s close.

“Keep squeezin’ me like that, dove. You put those shorts back on, and everyone’s gonna see my cum dripping down those god damn thighs the second you walk outta here.” He pushes himself impossibly deeper, so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach, and the way your eyes widen curl his lips into a cruel grin. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? My good, sweet, beautiful little bird wants everyone to know who she belongs to, doesn’t she? God, you’re fuckin’ perfect. So sweet for me, ain’t ya? Fuck, honey, I… I-I’m - “

He buries himself to the hilt with a near feral grunt, stilling for a beat before unhitching your legs from his shoulders and letting them fall to the sides. His paws find your hips, thumbs rubbing gentle circles as he peppers your hairline with little pecks.

“You alright, pretty girl? Wasn’t too rough, was I?”

“That was perfect,” you whisper, chasing his lips for a kiss. “I should wear those shorts more often.”

pick your prompt here!💌

#john price x reader #john price x you #cod x reader #cod x you #jj writes #unblock my brain prompts

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idyllic-ghost · 5 months ago

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title: Strawberry Jazz; Love on the Train to Tokyo pairing: non-idol!seungkwan x reader genre: fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, neighbor au warnings: mentions of bad relationships, alcohol consumption, drunk kiss, slight angst synopsis: In an attempt to let go of your past, you travel to a new city and pretend to be a new person. On the train to Tokyo, you meet a handsome stranger but miss the opportunity to get his name and number before you part ways. Lucky for you, your fates seem to be intertwined as you meet again just a few hours later. wordcount: 9.4k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag, @d0nghyuck, @fantasy2wonderland, @seunghancore, @woozixo, @niktwazny303, @lllucere, @uniq-tastic, @wonwoospartyhat, @stariightjoyy, @hyneyedfiz, @cali-snow, @pearlygraysky, @crazywittysassy, @yeosayang rating: PG 13

a/n: this is a collab with @svthub, click here for the masterlist!

Disclaimer: The scenarios and depictions in my works are fictional and do not represent real-life situations. They do not aim to reflect the complexities of any culture, city, or individual. All characters are entirely fictional, regardless of names or descriptions.

Join my taglist // Masterlists

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The many rows of seats are packed with people - as far as the eye can see, there isn’t a single free spot for you to sit down. When the train starts moving - at first slow, but quickly gaining speed - you almost lose your balance. Grabbing hold of the nearest seat, possibly brushing your hand against someone’s head, and holding onto your luggage for dear life, you manage to keep yourself on your feet. Your face grows hot, as you mumble out apologies to the man you accidentally slapped and the people you backed into behind you. Now prepared for the speed of the train, you keep moving forward.

Every row of seats you pass disappoints you. Whenever you think there’s an empty spot for you, there’s either a child in the seat or too much luggage tucked away - even if they were trying to be helpful by playing Tetris with their bags, they just had too many bags. As you watch the people in front of you take what seems to be the only empty seats on the train, you start losing hope. You accept that you would probably have to find a corner for you and your bag to stand in. You only have your backpack and a suitcase with a month’s worth of clothes and other necessities, so squeezing against a wall wouldn’t be impossible. However, it wasn’t how you imagined spending the first few hours of your time in Japan. Despite having flown to Osaka partly for the scenic route the bullet train would take you on, you would have to settle for staring at the floor so as not to meet other people’s eyes. Maybe it would have been better to fly directly to Tokyo, even if you had to decline the surprisingly low price of your plane ticket to Osaka.

The cheap flight settled it for you. You were set on flying to Osaka and taking the over two-hour train ride from the Shin-Osaka station to Tokyo station. Now you are less sure about your decision, but a few weeks ago it seemed foolproof. After sleeping on your friend’s couch for nearly a month, anything else seems like a dream. Going to Tokyo is one of your dreams, it always has been, but now it felt like it had been fate. The night you had seen the short-term rental on the outskirts of the big city, it felt like the universe was paying you back for all the hurt it had caused. You needed a fresh start - or rather, a chance to not be you for a while. Ever since your ex broke up with you, you’ve been down on yourself and this trip would change that. You are certain.

You remember sitting on your friend’s couch that night. She was on the floor, drunkenly muttering to herself while you were scrolling on your computer. Seeing as you weren’t sober either, you can’t remember exactly why you were on your computer. It might have been an attempt to find a movie to watch, but your endless scrolling brought you to a website with cheap rentals in Tokyo. One in particular caught your eye; it was a short-term lease for the entire month of June, near a train station, and it wouldn’t completely break your bank. Maybe it was because it was up for rent in the middle of the rainy season, but you believed the cheap prices had to be a sign for you to go. So, you started planning your trip then and there.

Ever since then, you have been looking forward to it. Now that you are here, it was a little chilly and you were desperately tired - but a sense of calm had settled in your chest. Your limbs are light, and nothing holds your shoulders in an embarrassed slouch. Despite the train catastrophe, the small, yet bright, light in the cavern between your ribs keeps burning. As you keep walking, your consciousness stays in your head - thinking back to when you had just booked the trip. You’re so deep in thought that you don’t notice a man calling out for you, not until he grabs your arm.

"There’s a seat for you here," he says.

The very first thing you notice about this stranger is his smile. It’s the kind of smile that meets the eyes - he isn’t just being polite, he is sincerely offering you the seat beside you. When you look past him, you can see the small line he is stalling. You quickly thank him and move to the side to let others pass. His hand lets go of your arm, and he sits back down. The handprint on your arm is giving off a warm glow, that you’re sure only you can see. Once the walkway is open, you try to put your suitcase on the overhead rack. The stranger is quick on his feet again and helps you put your bag up. When the two of you finally push your heavy bag onto the rack, you thank him again before sitting down. It isn’t a window seat, but it’s better than standing in a corner.

"Where are you headed?" the stranger asks.

"Tokyo," you answer as you put your backpack under your seat.

"Oh! Me too!" He flashes his smile again, and you feel like melting.

He’s handsome, the kind of boy-next-door you’d bring home to your parents, and the air around him is wholesome. Everything about him is delicately intentional, from the put-together outfit to his silver jewelry. This stranger is “too good to be true” personified.

"Do you have any plans in Tokyo?" he asks, bringing you out of your bewitched state.

"Not exactly," you admit. "I mean, I looked up a few spots that I’d like to visit… but nothing’s set in stone yet."

You’ve never pictured yourself as a person who casually talks to strangers, and yet here you are. There’s something easy about talking to him as if there isn’t a judgmental bone in his body. Despite the sad amount of things you’ve planned, Seungkwan still looks at you like he’s fully invested in your journey.

“I’ve looked up a few cafés,” he says, “If you want some recommendations, I can give you my list.”

As if he couldn’t get any more endearing, your next-seat neighbor pulls out a small, navy blue notebook. It’s leather-bound and has a small latch that keeps it shut with a magnet. The stranger opens it up and flips to a page at the beginning of the book. There, in neat handwriting, is a written list of café names - written in Korean with a carefully written translation in Japanese beside it. You look over the names and the stars he’s put beside them, indicating the ratings they have been given.

“Your handwriting is very nice…” you comment as your fingers gently graze the paper. “Do you mind if I take a picture? I haven’t planned on any café stops yet.”

“Go ahead.” He nods with another warm smile.

After taking a picture, you put your phone back in your bag and thank the stranger for the recommendation. The stranger nods and packs his notebook back in his bag. Your eyes linger on him just for a moment, the lighting almost making him look ethereal. A small bump on the rail makes you snap out of it, and you go to look for your headphones in your backpack - but you’re left with nothing. With a sigh, you lean back in your seat at the realization that you left your headphones in your luggage to leave space in your backpack.

“You okay?” The man beside you gains your attention yet again.

“I put my headphones in my luggage after I got off the plane,” you say with a pained smile.

“Oh, I always hate it when I do that,” he says with genuine sympathy - it surprises you how a stranger can feel for you this way. “I could lend you one of my earbuds if you don’t mind listening to my playlist.”

If it had been any other stranger, you might have said no. However, the man beside you intrigues you to no end - so you end up accepting his offer. You put in the earbud and smile as you hear a familiar tune. You can’t seem to place it, but the melody brings back memories that you had since long forgotten - your school days, the times when you had no worries and could simply exist as a kid. As your muscles relax, you let out a content sigh - was it too good to be true, or were you so lucky to have sat next to such a wonderful man? It doesn’t take long for the adrenaline of the busy day you’ve had to wear off, and for you to drift off to sleep.

When you wake up, your body aches to move - as if you had sat in the same position for your feet to root into the floor and for your skin to turn into bark. To make sure your limbs haven’t turned into twigs and leaves, you stretch out the best you can. In the process, you knock out the earbud in your ear and startle the man beside you.

“Oh, I’m sorry- did I wake you?” you whisper to him.

“It’s alright, I had only barely fallen asleep,” he assures you with a lopsided smile. “You must have been tired, though.”

“How long was I out?”

“We have ten minutes left.” He takes out his earbud, puts the wires in his lap, and turns off his playlist. “You must’ve been tired, I haven’t seen anyone sleep through a baby crying like you were.”

“I was tired,” you admit with a chuckle. “I didn’t snore, did I?”

You took up your bottle of water from your bag, your throat must have gotten dry during your sleep and you desperately needed water.

“Oh, no. Not at all, actually. I thought you were dead for a good minute.”

Your seat neighbor’s comment made you snort, successfully making you choke on the water in the process. As you cough, the man beside you tries to find tissues for you in a panicked manner. He grumbles as he looks, but all you hear is something about his backpack being a mess. Eventually, he gives up and reaches for a side pocket. There he pulls out a white handkerchief with some blue embroidery on it. He hands it to you, and you wipe the water that had spilled all over yourself.

“Thank you,” you croak out.

“Here.” He motions to take the bottle from you.

You give it to him, and he carefully puts on the cap for you before handing it back to you.

“I’m sorry about your handkerchief,” you say.

“Don’t worry about it.” He motions with his hand as if to nonverbally say ‘whatever’.

“I’ll wash it and give it back to you,” you promise.

To that, he turns his head to you with a glimmer in his eyes and a small shy on his lips. You didn’t realize that you had implied that you should meet up again, but as you look at him you discern that you don’t mind.

“I’d like that.”

“The train is now approaching Tokyo Central Station.”

Your seat neighbor helps you down with your luggage and the two of you make your way off the train. The carriage itself is packed, but there are only more people outside of it. You walk through them the best you can, repeatedly excusing yourself as you push yourself toward the escalators. Only when you get up the escalator, do you realize that you lost your seat-neighbor. Moreover, you realize that you don’t have his name or number.

“Shit,” you mumble as you look around.

There is no way you’ll find him, you think as you approach a taxi. If you’re lucky, you might bump into him at one of the cafés he had written down - but the chances are slim. With a heavy feeling in your chest, you manage to flag down a taxi and get in.

The apartment you rented for the month is on the outskirts of Tokyo, in a somewhat quiet area with access to public transport. It is perfect for the days you’ll want to spend inside - though you don’t know how many days that’ll be. The building’s outside is almost the same as you saw in the picture online, even though the images were dated. The walls are beige and, except for a few areas which reveal the building’s age, are unscathed. It is a three-story, rather small building, with a black roof and relatively large square windows. The owner, who you met up with outside, gives you a key and says that your apartment is on the top floor. Despite giving you directions to your temporary home, he still guides you to your front door.

The stairs are on the outside of the building, and the owner carries your luggage up them for you. At first, you hesitate, worrying that his old age wouldn’t allow him to carry something so heavy up two flights of stairs. However, there seems to be something magical about this old man - as he carries up your bag without a single huff or puff.

“This is your apartment,” he says as he sets down your bag outside the door. “If you go further up the stairs, you get to the roof where the guests usually hang up their clothes. I have my area downstairs, so you’ll have your privacy- except for the other guests, of course. But it’s just the two of you, so you’ll have plenty of space.”

“You have another guest?” you ask as you go to unlock the door.

“In the apartment under you,” he explains. “He got here just minutes before you. Nice, young man. I’m sure you can make arrangements for the clotheslines. Feel free to come knock at my door if there are any issues with the shower - I’ve had complaints before, but it’s usually easy to fix.”

“Alright, thank you.” You smile at him, nodding your head before opening the door to your new home.

On the other side of the wooden door, is a small yet cozy room. It’s fully furnished, housing a bed, a coffee table with chairs, and a kitchenette all in this first room. It’s small, you knew it would be. The space is just enough for you and your small amount of luggage. You put your bag down beside the bed to go exploring, quickly finding the bathroom - also small but it held all of the essentials, as well as a small window right above the shower to let the natural light shine on the tiled walls. After finding the door hiding the washing machine, you looked through the entire apartment.

After unpacking and making yourself at home, you rummage through your backpack to find the small handkerchief. Now that you have a closer look at it, the blue embroidery on one of the corners is a profile of Snoopy the Dog. You smile to yourself, gently running your thumb over the carefully stitched pattern. It felt like an intimate secret to hold it in your hands, a look into someone else’s life - someone whose name you don’t know, and probably never will. As your fingers grace the fabric, you can feel that it’s still a little damp from when you used it to dry yourself off. You sigh, a feeling of regret striking you as you realize that this handkerchief might never find its way back home. But what if it does? Are you going to hand it to him with the stain of your water and spit? Absolutely not. With newfound determination, you get up and walk out of your apartment - walking up the stairs to find a washboard.

The rooftop looks as you had imagined: a smaller area for the clotheslines, next to the slanted, black roof - there is a small door on the short wall holding up the roof, no doubt leading to the attic. The door is not the only thing catching your attention, as a man is sitting on the small table on the roof.

“Oh, hello,” you say to not scare him with your sudden presence.

The man stands up and turns around, and your breath catches in your throat. It’s the man from the train. Your steps halt, and words linger on the tip of your tongue but nothing comes out.

“You,” he says with wide eyes.

“Me,” you answer, you fidget with the handkerchief. “I was just thinking about you- I mean, I found this and I thought I should wash it in case I saw you again.”

“You’re going to hand wash it?” He walks toward you and you force your feet into the ground to not back away. “I can throw it in with my laundry later.”

He holds out his hand to you and you put the handkerchief in his hands. Now that you have nothing to do on the rooftop, you know that you should say your goodbyes and leave - but you can’t bring yourself to do so.

“I didn’t mean to run away from you at the station,” you say, “I was just trying to find my way out, and I guess we got separated.”

“I get it.” He nodded. “I got stuck in a crowd, and then it hit me that I never caught your name… it’s hard to call out for someone when you don’t know their name.”

Your jaw went slack and your eyes widened - you didn’t know his name. The two of you looked at each other for a beat, before breaking out into laughter. The tension started dissipating as you looked back at him with a big smile. It was a strange situation, but neither of you seemed to mind.

“Y/L/N Y/N,” you tell him.

“I’m Boo Seungkwan,” he replies and stretches out his hand for you to shake. “Nice to meet you.”

You take his hand and shake it - his hand is warm and comforting, like a blanket on a chilly summer evening. What brought the two of you together, you didn’t know - but you’re thankful that it did. After shaking his hand you bid him an awkward goodbye, and start walking down the stairs.

“Do you have plans tonight?” His question makes you turn around.

“Plans? No, I was just going to get some groceries and stay in,” you admit.

“Well, if you want to come with me, I was thinking of going to a Jazz café.” His voice stays strong, but his eyes show his nerves as they look everywhere but at you.

“That sounds nice.” You smile at him. “When are you planning on going?”

An hour or so later, both you and Seungkwan are out in Tokyo. Seungkwan is looking for directions on his phone, guiding you through the city. Neither of you speak much, the tension from before having returned. It’s only when you arrive at the café that Seungkwan starts speaking to you again.

“Do you want to sit in a booth?” he asks as the two of you walk into the cozy room.

It’s a dark room, with a jazz band playing in one of the corners, and people sitting at every other table. It isn’t packed by any means, but it’s still bubbling with energy. You agree to a booth seat, and the two of you find your way over to a free one. After ordering your drinks, the two of you are left to yourselves again. The tension’s there, but now it’s inviting and almost pulling you into a conversation. Seungkwan’s looking around the bar, and doesn’t notice your staring - so, you happily stare for a while. His fingers were drumming anxiously against the table, something you used to find annoying but now it’s nothing but endearing.

“How did you find this place?” you ask, gaining his attention again.

“I’ve been wanting to go to Tokyo for a while,” Seungkwan explains, “So I did a lot of planning in advance to make sure I could see as much of it as possible.”

You nod while silently condemning yourself for not doing the same. In truth, you had come to Tokyo on a whim - and even though you’ve been wanting to visit for a while, you didn’t spend nearly as much time as you maybe should have when researching. The drinks arrive, and the two of you thank the waitress.

“Why did you decide to go to Tokyo?” he asks once the waitress left.

A vivid memory of loud arguments and slamming doors hit you as his question reached your ears. You look down at your drink, the ice in it slowly melting and blending with the cocktail, taking a moment to compose yourself before looking back at Seungkwan with a smile.

“I needed a fresh start,” you admit. “I’ve been sleeping at my friend’s place for some time, and I needed something to get me back out in the world again.”

“So, your first thought was Tokyo?”

“Well, it’s been a dream of mine too,” you add with a flick of your hand as if it isn’t particularly important. “I saw the opportunity and took it.”

It’s embarrassing, how casual your reason is compared to his - or maybe it’s just how you told it. Seungkwan, however, looks at you as if he’s heard the most interesting thing in his life. His eyes are bright and present, and he wears a small smile. The bad memories his question brought back are now gone.

“I wish I could be that spontaneous,” he says and takes a sip of his drink - his tone is laid-back but his eyes show his nerves.

“Why can’t you?” you question.

Seungkwan pauses and looks out over the bar for a moment. You can tell that he’s earnestly considering your question - and you half-expect him to jump up on the table and start singing, as if in some kind of musical about finding oneself. He doesn’t, of course, but you snicker at the thought and it gains you Seungkwan’s attention back.

“Well, I really don’t know,” he stumbles over his words, “It’s just who I am. I plan ahead.”

“Do you have a lot of plans for this trip?” you ask, and you watch Seungkwan relax at the change of topic.

“A few,” he admits. “Most of it is just walking around and sightseeing.”

“Well, if you want,” you say, “you can spend a few days being spontaneous with me.”

The piano player plays a small solo, their fingers violently speeding across the keys to produce a sound that is somehow both coherent and incomprehensible. Seungkwan stares at you, his eyes wide with anticipation - you could practically hear him thinking: “What will this lead to? Should I say yes? Is this a good idea?” He opens his mouth, just as the saxophone player joins in on the riff. The two of you laugh as you wait for them to finish, your shoulders finally relax fully, and the annoying bubbling feeling in your stomach has subsided.

“Yeah, let’s go out together sometime,” Seungkwan answers after the players have calmed down. “We live next to each other, anyway, so it would only be awkward if we don’t.”

“Great.” You raise your glass in his direction. “To being spontaneous.”

“To being spontaneous,” he repeats as he clinks his glass with yours.

You wake up the next morning to the sun blaring in through the thin blinds - they’re nothing like the black-out curtains in your friend's apartment, and you make a mental note to get some for your future place in Seoul. With vigor, you rip the covers off of you and put your feet on the cold hardwood floor. You make a second mental note to make sure to get a good rug for your future bedroom, while you tip-toe over to your belongings in the corner of the room. In your unpacked suitcase, you find a pair of knitted socks - brought just in case - and put them on. Once your feet aren't being tortured by the chilly floor, you go to the bathroom and freshen up. A sudden urge to sing and dance struck you, as you realized you had no roommate you could possibly bother with your noise - a new sense of freedom echoed in your ribcage, like a warrior’s cry before a fierce battle.

However, your newfound happiness dulls when you go into the kitchen and find no food in the fridge. You completely forgot to get groceries. A sigh escapes your lips as you trudge around the room to find an idea. Passing by the window, you catch a glimpse of your new neighbor coming home. Seungkwan looked like he had just been out on a jog. You look over at the clock and see that it’s only nine-thirty. The shock and envy of his good life habits leave you once you come up with an idea.

You get out of your apartment quickly, only throwing on a cardigan over your tank top and pajama pants before leaving, and you sprint downstairs to knock on Seungkwan’s door. He opens the door rather quickly.

“Good morning,” you pipe up.

“Morning,” he answers with an incredulous smile. “Do you need something?”

“Yeah…” You take a deep breath as if you’re about to tell him something very serious. “Do you have breakfast?”

“I think you’ve confused me with a hotel,” he quips.

“I know, I’m sorry- I just didn’t have time to get groceries yesterday and now I have no breakfast,” you explain. “I don’t mean to bother you- I’ll even pay for whatever I can borrow-”

“I don’t have anything either,” he admits and, when he sees your sad expression, adds, “You can come with me to the supermarket if you’d like. I spotted one on my run, and it looked like they were about to open. Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll walk with you!”

As you and Seungkwan stroll to the grocery store, you take in the charming surroundings of our neighborhood. The store is just a few blocks away, and it's a pleasant walk that only takes a couple of minutes. It’s a small and cozy neighborhood store, known for carrying only the absolute necessities. Seungkwan carries a grocery basket on his arm, and you start putting in any breakfast items that catch my eye. We decide to just grab breakfast items for now and come back for other groceries when you're not feeling so hungry.

As the sun rises, the small store is alive with the chatter of early-morning shoppers, creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere. Navigating the narrow aisles with Seungkwan by your side feels cozy and intimate like you're on a special adventure together. The shelves are packed with an array of tempting items, each one seemingly more delicious than the last. Your stomach grumbles with hunger, but you can't help but be captivated by the variety of products on display. Finally, you come across a container of plump, juicy strawberries. Despite their hefty price, you and Seungkwan decide to share them, exchanging a meaningful, wordless glance that solidifies your unspoken pact.

Back at your apartment, you and your new friend eagerly started the delightful task of preparing a leisurely breakfast in the inviting embrace of your kitchen. With its panoramic view, your kitchen became the heart of your morning adventure. The two of you decided on your place instead of Seungkwan’s seeing as the view from your kitchen window was better. The gentle, tantalizing aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air, infusing the space with a sense of comfort and anticipation for the wonderful meal ahead. Before long, you both find yourselves on the rooftop, savoring the delicious meal you've meticulously put together. The early morning light casts a spellbinding glow over Tokyo, offering a breathtaking view. As you indulge in your breakfast, the easy-flowing conversation is punctuated by laughter.

After finishing his breakfast, Seungkwan reclines in his chair, a contemplative expression adorning his face. It's as if he's carefully considering something significant, and a sense of eager anticipation starts to build within you. At last, he turns to you, his eyes gleaming with enthusiasm.

“Hey, I was thinking,” he begins, a hint of shyness creeping into his voice. “Would you like to go to Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden with me tomorrow? It's one of the places on my list that I’m really looking forward to, and I think you’d enjoy it too.”

You feel a flutter in your chest as he asks you to join him, and you have to remind yourself that despite his charming appearance, he is still a stranger. Nevertheless, the thought of sharing more moments with Seungkwan in such a breathtaking location is incredibly tempting. A smile spreads across your face as a wave of contentment washes over you.

“I’d love to,” you reply eagerly. “I've heard it’s amazing, and I'd be thrilled to go with you.”

As Seungkwan flashes his radiant smile, it illuminates his face, causing a delightful flutter in your heart.

“Great! We can pack a picnic and make a day of it,” he suggests. “I'll buy some snacks and drinks after my run tomorrow, and we can enjoy the gardens together.”

As the morning progresses, you immerse yourselves in detailed planning for your upcoming outing. You carefully deliberate on what items to bring along and excitedly map out which areas of the garden we hope to explore. The air is tinged with palpable anticipation, and with every passing moment, you find yourself forming an even stronger bond with Seungkwan. As the day of your outing approaches, you find yourself thinking about Seungkwan more and more. There's something about him that draws you in, making you want to know more about him and share more of yourself in return. The prospect of spending a day together in such a beautiful place feels almost magical.

The following morning, you rise with the sun, your heart brimming with excitement. And when Seungkwan stands at your doorstep, he holds a woven basket overflowing with a delectable variety of snacks and a steaming thermos of coffee. A wide, infectious grin spreads across his face, and you can't help but reciprocate, feeling an exhilarating surge of anticipation.

"Ready to go?" he asks, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

"Absolutely," you reply, following him out the door.

While you make your way to Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, the air is filled with lighthearted conversation and laughter, adding to the sense of anticipation. Upon arrival, the breathtaking sight of the expansive gardens captivates your attention. The lush greenery, vibrant flowers, and tranquil ponds combine to create a serene atmosphere, transporting us to a world far removed from the hustle and bustle of the city.

Strolling through the meticulously designed gardens, you can't help but lose track of time. With every step, you’re greeted by a breathtaking array of colors and scents that captivate my senses. Seungkwan, who’s done his diligent research on the park, eagerly points out various points of interest he's researched, sharing intriguing stories and fascinating details about the diverse plants and landscapes. His genuine love for the garden is palpable, and you’re fully engrossed by the beauty of my surroundings and the delightful company of Seungkwan.

Once the sun climbs to its highest point in the sky, casting a warm golden glow over the surroundings, you and Seungkwan spot a serene area shaded by a magnificent cherry blossom tree. You carefully lay out the soft picnic blanket that Seungkwan had found in his apartment and both settle down on it. The spread of delectable food on the blanket invites you to indulge in a delightful meal, further enhancing the serene atmosphere. Engrossed in each other's company, your conversation effortlessly drifts from light-hearted and cheerful topics to heartfelt and intimate stories. Through this easy exchange, you come to truly appreciate Seungkwan's endearing charm, quick wit, and remarkable kindness, making this shared moment even more special.

Time seems to stand still as you talk and laugh together, the connection between you growing stronger with each passing moment. You feel a sense of contentment that you haven't felt in a long time, and you realize that this day with Seungkwan is something truly special.

As the afternoon turns into evening, you reluctantly pack up your picnic and make your way back to the entrance of the garden. The walk back is filled with a comfortable silence, both of you lost in your own thoughts, savoring the memories of the day.

When you’re just a few blocks away from the apartment, Seungkwan turns to you with a warm smile.

"I had a great time today," he says softly. "Thank you for coming with me."

"Me too," you reply, feeling a pang of sadness at the thought of the day ending. "Thank you for inviting me."

You don’t want to go to bed just yet, you want to stay with him for just a little longer. A thought strikes you as you pass the small convenience store. You stop Seungkwan by pulling on his sleeve, and making him look over at the store. He seems to follow your train of thought, as he turns to you with a smile.

“Do you want to grab a couple of bottles of beer and head to the rooftop?” he asks, a playful glint in his eyes. "The view of the city lights from up there is amazing, it’d be a shame if we didn’t make use of it."

“You’re reading my mind,” you reply.

You both walk into the store, walking directly over to the aisle with beer. Enticed by the colorful and artistic labels, you and Seungkwan carefully inspect each bottle, trying to decipher their unique flavors and styles. Because of your lack of knowledge about Japanese beer, you make your selections based solely on the eye-catching labels - a choice that evokes a playful chuckle from Seungkwan, who nonetheless assures you that he isn't one to judge. With your chosen bottles in hand, you pay and eagerly make your way back to the apartment, your excitement growing with every light and eager step.

The rooftop is quiet, a perfect contrast to the bustling center of the city that you can spot from your position. You find a cozy spot to sit, the cityscape sprawling out before you in a dazzling array of lights. Seungkwan sits down right next to you. The air is cool and crisp, and you feel a sense of tranquility wash over you. You sit together, sipping your beers, and the conversation begins to flow more deeply. You share stories about your past, your dreams, and the things that matter most to you. Seungkwan opens up about his life, his struggles, and his hopes for the future. You find yourself doing the same, feeling a sense of trust and connection that surprises you. Seungkwan sits quietly as you open up about your past relationship, sharing the details of how it ended and how it was all your fault. He attentively watches you, unwavering in his focus as you pour your heart out. As you finish your beer, he offers you another can, and you express your gratitude. The beer loosens your tongue and you divulge more and more secrets from your past.

“How can it be your fault?” he asks suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just that…” He pauses, adjusting himself on his seat on the small table. “Sure, you didn’t put in the effort you should have at the end - if what you said was true, of course - but couldn’t he do the same? Why is it all because of you?”

His words leave you speechless, and you find yourself sitting in stunned silence for a while. You had always thought that it was all your fault - maybe because you had never told anyone the details before, let alone said them out loud.

“I don’t mean to overstep, sorry,” Seungkwan adds.

“You’re not.” You straighten out your back and look at him with a newfound confidence. “You might be right… are you sure you’re not a therapist?”

Seungkwan's laughter fills the room, a melodic sound reminiscent of silver bells. He playfully shakes his head and lifts his beer to his lips to take another sip. The alcohol drips from the corner of his lips, and you find yourself entranced by his lips. You move a little closer, using the chilly wind as an excuse. Before you know it, the distance between you has disappeared. Seungkwan’s face is close to yours, his breath mingling with yours in the cool night air. There's a moment of hesitation, a silent question hanging between you. Then, without thinking, you both lean in.

The kiss starts gentle and uncertain meeting of lips, sparking a sensation that sends a shiver down the spine. As the initial surprise fades, the kiss deepens, drawing its passion from the swirling emotions and the shared bond between two people. In the heart of the moment, it becomes all-consuming, surrounding you in a luminous wave of happiness and excitement.

When you finally pull back, you're both a little breathless, your faces inches apart. Seungkwan's eyes are dark and intense, filled with an emotion that mirrors your own. You smile at him, feeling a mixture of giddiness and contentment.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he admits softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm glad you did," you reply, your heart pounding in your chest.

Without a second though, you lean in for another kiss - savoring the moment. The rest of the evening becomes a whirlwind of joyous laughter and tender, stolen kisses. Between the kisses, you find yourselves invigorated by a drunken conversation. Somewhere along the line, he asks you to get breakfast with him the very next day at a local café nearby. You happily agree before continuing to indulge yourself with his lips that taste of bitter grapefruit. With each passing moment, you can feel the connection between you growing stronger, the bond deepening. Below, the city lights shimmer like stars, bearing witness to the beginning of a beautiful journey.

As the night comes to an end, you both reluctantly decide it's time to call it a day. You walk back to your apartments together, the silence between you comfortable and filled with unspoken promises. When you reach your door, Seungkwan pulls you into one last kiss, a sweet and lingering goodbye that leaves you wanting more.

"Goodnight," he whispers, his forehead resting against yours.

"Goodnight," you reply, your voice soft and filled with emotion.

You watch him disappear down the stairs, a smile playing on your lips. As you enter your own apartment, you feel a sense of anticipation for what the future holds. This day has been perfect, and you can't wait to see where this newfound connection with Seungkwan will lead.

The next day you wake up with a slight headache, and burning cheeks at the memories from the night before. Have you already managed to mess up this new relationship? Nevertheless, you hadn’t forgotten Seungkwan’s promise of breakfast - and although you doubted yourself through every step, you managed to get ready. As you get ready, you can't help but replay the events of the garden and the rooftop in your mind. The thought of seeing him again fills you with anticipation.

You and Seungkwan stroll to the café, the air is charged with unspoken words. Apart from a brief exchange of greetings, the silence hangs heavy between you, even as the sight of him fills you with a comforting warmth. Upon entering the cozy café, the barista happily tells you that you both are the first patrons of the day. You order quickly, thanking the barista before going to find a table. Choosing a table by the window, Seungkwan settles in, and you take a seat across from him. The atmosphere is tense, with neither of you saying much, lost in your thoughts while reliving the memory of that unforgettable, electric kiss.

As the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee envelops the air, the hushed stillness of the room becomes palpable. The coffee arrives at your table, along with the food you had ordered. As you sip your coffee, the silence begins to feel impossibly heavier. You steal a glance at Seungkwan, noticing the way he seems to be carefully collecting his thoughts. After a moment of quiet contemplation, he draws in a slow, steadying breath, and as his gaze meets mine, there's an unmistakable resolve in his eyes.

"I was thinking..." he starts, his voice a bit hesitant. "Would you like to go out on a date with me? Tonight, maybe?"

His unexpected words jolt you, causing you to almost choke on the pastry you're eating. You swiftly regain your composure, feeling a warm flush of embarrassment spread across your cheeks. Seungkwan stands up hesitantly, unsure of how to help you - but you quickly motion for him to sit back down, silently telling him that you’re okay. Your face breaks out into a smile as you eagerly nod, feeling a surge of excitement welling up within you.

"I'd love to," you reply, your voice soft but filled with enthusiasm.

The rest of the breakfast passes in a blur of light conversation and shared smiles. The tension that had been present at the beginning gradually melts away, replaced by a growing sense of anticipation for the day ahead.

After going home and getting changed, you meet Seungkwan again, and he walks with you to the theme park. The colorful lights and the sound of laughter fill the air, creating an atmosphere of excitement and joy. Seungkwan takes your hand and leads you inside. The theme park is alive with energy, and the two of you quickly get swept up in the fun. You ride the roller coasters, feeling the rush of adrenaline as you laugh and scream together - you out of excitement, but Seungkwan sometimes out of pure fear. Later on, Seungkwan wins you a stuffed animal at one of the game booths, and you can't help but feel a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest as you hug it close.

Throughout the evening, you find yourself feeling like a kid again, running around and enjoying the rides with Seungkwan by your side. His laughter is infectious, and you can't help but be drawn to this new playful side of him. There's a carefree joy in the air, and you feel completely at ease with him. For someone who said he has issues with being spontaneous, Seungkwan’s surprisingly good at it.

As the golden sun begins its descent and the evening sky is painted with vibrant hues, Seungkwan suggests one last exhilarating escapade - a romantic ride on the Ferris wheel. You eagerly make your way to the structure. Soon, you find yourself nestled in a gondola, slowly going up above the amusement park. As you ascend, the breathtaking view unfolds before us, revealing a mesmerizing display of city lights twinkling like a sea of stars in every direction. The radiant sun bathes everything in its warm, golden glow as it gradually dips below the horizon, casting a spellbinding and unforgettable scene.

You and Seungkwan sit in comfortable silence next to each other, watching the sunset paint the sky in hues of orange and pink. The Ferris wheel comes to a gentle stop at the top, and you turn to find Seungkwan already looking at you. There's a softness in his eyes, an unspoken connection that makes your heart race. He leans in slowly, giving you time to close the distance. The kiss is soft and tender, a perfect reflection of the emotions swirling between you. It feels just as magical as the first. The warmth of his lips, the gentle pressure—it all feels right, like the beginning of something beautiful.

As the Ferris wheel starts moving again, you pull back slightly, your faces still close. Seungkwan smiles at you, his eyes shining with happiness.

"Thank you for today," he whispers. “I wouldn’t have gone on most of those rides if you weren’t with me.”

"And you don’t regret that?" you reply with a snicker.

“For some reason, I don’t.” He glances down at your lips, and then back to your eyes while a smile plays on his lips.

The ride ends, and you step off the Ferris wheel hand in hand. The theme park begins to quiet down as the night deepens, and you make your way back to the entrance. The memory of the sunset and the kiss lingers, a perfect end to a perfect day. A few months ago, you couldn’t have pictured yourself in this kind of setting.

When you get back to your apartment building and say goodnight, you’re filled with a sense of anticipation for the future. The bond between you and Seungkwan has grown stronger, and you know that this is just the beginning of something wonderful.

From that day on, the two of you spend every other day together, exploring Tokyo and growing closer. The city becomes your playground, a backdrop to the unfolding story of your blossoming relationship. Each day brings new adventures and deeper connections, as you discover the many facets of Tokyo and each other.

You visit bustling markets, where the vibrant colors and tantalizing smells overwhelm your senses. Seungkwan makes you laugh with his attempts to haggle, his playful banter drawing you closer. You wander through serene temples and shrines, finding moments of peace and reflection amidst the city's chaos. Seungkwan's hand in yours feels like an anchor, grounding you in the present and the promise of what’s to come.

The two of you wander through the vibrant streets of Harajuku and Shibuya, finding yourselves immersed in the eclectic fashion, unique shops, and bustling atmosphere. Your afternoons are filled with the delightful aromas of freshly brewed coffee and the delectable taste of sweet pastries as you share conversations in charming cafes. Seungkwan's laughter and genuine warmth create a sense of ease and joy, weaving seamlessly into the fabric of your daily experiences.

You spend lazy Sundays in lush parks, where you lay on blankets under cherry blossom trees, sharing secrets and dreams. The beauty of the city mirrors the beauty of your connection, each moment spent together is a testament to the bond growing between you. You take boat rides on the Sumida River, the gentle rocking of the boat lulling you into a serene state as Seungkwan points out landmarks and makes up stories about the people you pass.

Evenings are filled with vibrant nightlife, from izakayas where you taste various Japanese dishes to karaoke bars where Seungkwan's voice fills the room, his enthusiasm infectious. You find yourself singing along, your laughter mingling with the music, creating memories that will linger long after the songs have ended.

As the days melt into weeks, a bittersweet truth starts to sink in. Your time in Tokyo is gradually coming to an end, and the idea of parting with Seungkwan feels like a heavy burden on your heart. The city, which has served as the canvas for your love story, now seems like a relentless countdown, each passing day pulling you nearer to your impending departure.

Eventually, the day arrives. You have one last day together before you have to leave, and you decide to make the most of it. You revisit your favorite spots, each location now tinged with nostalgia and the knowledge that this is your final adventure together in Tokyo. The laughter and joy are still there, but there's an underlying sadness that neither of you can ignore.

That evening, you find yourselves on the rooftop again, the city lights twinkling below like a sea of stars. The two of you sit in silence for a while, soaking in the moment. Seungkwan reaches for your hand, his grip firm and reassuring.

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," he says softly, his voice tinged with sadness.

"I know," you reply, your heart aching. "I wish I could stay longer."

Seungkwan pulls you into a hug, his embrace warm and comforting. "Let's make a promise," he whispers, his breath warm against your ear. "No matter what happens, let's remember this time together."

“Promise.”

When the moment to part ways approaches and you bid each other goodnight, a bittersweet feeling fills the air. You savor one last, tender kiss that seems to linger long after it's over, leaving an indelible mark on your heart. The following day, as you prepare to leave, a sense of heaviness settles in your chest, a poignant reminder of the emotions stirred up by that final, lingering kiss.

It was only at Tokyo Central station, watching Seungkwan wave goodbye through the window to your seat on the train, that a sinking feeling washed over you as you realized that you had never thought to ask for his contact information. In the whirlwind of our time together, you had never exchanged numbers, always assuming that you’d simply meet up again the next day. The thought of leaving without a way to reach him fills you with a sense of regret, but there's no time to rectify it. You leave Tokyo with a heavy heart, the memory of Seungkwan's kiss, and the moments you shared replaying in your mind. The city fades into the distance as you return to your old life, but the connection you felt with Seungkwan lingers, a bittersweet reminder of a love that bloomed amidst the bustling streets of Tokyo.

Back home, you find yourself missing him more than you anticipated. The sights, sounds, and smells of Tokyo haunt your thoughts, each memory tied to the boy who made your time there unforgettable. You crash at your friend's place, trying to adjust to the familiar surroundings that now feel foreign without Seungkwan.

You throw yourself into finding a new apartment, hoping that the busyness will distract you from the ache in your heart. When you finally move your things from storage and settle into your new place, you feel a sense of accomplishment but also a lingering sadness. The memory of Seungkwan's smile, his laughter, and his touch stays with you, a constant reminder of the days spent exploring Tokyo and falling in love.

The days blend together in a haze of unpacking and organizing, but there’s a sense of purpose driving you forward. The bustling energy of Tokyo still lingers in your mind, a vivid contrast to the quiet moments of solitude as you prepare for this new chapter in your life. When you start moving your things from storage, you immediately know that you’ve found a good place to call home. The apartment, with its cozy corners and ample sunlight, feels like a fresh start. Each box unpacked and each piece of furniture arranged is a step towards creating a space that is uniquely yours. Slowly, you let your heart heal from Seungkwan - and you can only hope that he’s doing the same.

A few weeks after settling in, you’ve developed a routine that brings a sense of normalcy back to your days. Yet, there's a lingering feeling of incompleteness, a part of you still caught up in the whirlwind of memories from Tokyo and the adventures you had there. One afternoon, you decide to take a break from your routine and explore the neighborhood a little more. You look at the local shops and cafés, watch the people who live there continuing their lives, and you think of Seungkwan. He should be back in Seoul by now if you remember correctly. It would be impossible to find him, but a small sense of hope lingers in your chest that you’d manage to bump into him.

You walk back to your apartment and get into the elevator with tired steps. As you walk into the elevator, lost in thought, you hear someone shout for you to keep the doors open. Startled, you quickly press the button to hold the elevator. The doors slide open again, and in rushes Seungkwan, looking slightly out of breath but beaming with that familiar, heartwarming smile. He doesn’t see you at first, his focus being purely on the bag in his hand. Your jaw all but drops to the floor as you watch him fix his messy hair.

"Thank you!" he says, slightly breathless. "I didn't want my ice cream to melt."

He motions to the bag and finally looks up at you. His eyes go as wide as yours, if not bigger, and his mouth hangs open. He had immediately recognized you. You don’t know what to do with yourself. Would it be wrong to hug him? Kiss him? Although that’s all you wanted to do, you couldn’t bring yourself to move. However, when the elevator started moving so did your ability to function.

"Seungkwan… I can't believe it's you."

With the hand that’s not holding the bag, Seungkwan brings you into an embrace. His chin lands on your shoulder, and you can’t do anything but hug him back. You come back to your senses once Seungkwan pulls away. The elevator ride, which feels like the longest and shortest ride at the same time, is filled with small talk. You both exchange quick updates on your lives since Tokyo, and the conversation is as light and easy as it had been before. As the elevator reaches your floor, you realize with a mix of surprise and delight that Seungkwan is getting off on the same floor as you.

The tension releases as the two of you laugh at the situation. "Looks like we're neighbors," Seungkwan says, shaking his head in disbelief. "What are the odds?"

As you both step out of the elevator, he turns to you with a playful smile and lifts up the bag demonstratively. "How about we celebrate this coincidence with some ice cream? My place?"

You agree, telling him that you’re just going to go change out of your clothes. "Give me a few minutes," you say, your heart pounding with excitement.

Rushing into your apartment, you quickly freshen up and change into something more comfortable. As you stand in front of your mirror, you take a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies in your stomach. A few minutes later, you're knocking at Seungkwan’s door, a mixture of nerves and anticipation coursing through you.

He opens the door, welcoming you in with a warm smile. His apartment feels cozy and inviting, a perfect reflection of his personality. You sit down together, catching up over ice cream. The conversation flows naturally, filled with laughter and shared memories. Seungkwan tells you that he’s missed you and regretted not getting your number before. His voice is earnest, and you can see the sincerity in his eyes.

"I've thought about you a lot," he admits, his gaze meeting yours. "I was worried I might never see you again."

You feel a rush of emotions, your heart swelling at his words. "I've missed you too, Seungkwan. More than I can say."

The moment feels charged with emotion, and before you know it, you're leaning in, closing the distance between you. The kiss is sweet and lingering, filled with all the unspoken feelings and missed opportunities. It’s as if no time has passed since your last kiss in Tokyo, and the connection between you is just as strong, if not stronger.

When you finally pull back, you’re both smiling, a mixture of relief and happiness in your expressions. Seungkwan takes your hand, squeezing it gently. "How about we do this properly?" he asks, his voice soft but hopeful. "Will you go on a date with me?"

Your smile widens, and you nod eagerly. "Yes, I'd love to."

Seungkwan’s face lights up with joy. "Great! How about tomorrow evening? There's a new restaurant I've been wanting to try."

"Sounds perfect," you reply, your heart soaring. “Can I finally give you my number now?”

Seungkwan laughs, and your heart soars. After exchanging contact information, you decide to leave. As you leave Seungkwan’s apartment that evening, you feel a sense of contentment and excitement for the future. The chance encounter has rekindled the spark between you, and you can’t wait to see where this new chapter with Seungkwan will lead. The memory of your time in Tokyo remains a cherished part of your story, but now, you look forward to creating new memories together in this place you both call home.

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