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this email could’ve been a fight to the death

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Public speaking is actually really easy if you don't respect a single soul in that room. I've had an incredibly easy time delivering speeches when I hated everybody I saw and they all thought I did amazing because my disdain was read as confidence. I don't have any tips for you I'm just telling you a fact

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someone said we had more fun in childhood because we didnt have any past memories to linger on and it has stuck with me ever since

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saw a grown woman on tiktok snidely calling gen z the christopher columbus generation bc someone’s fifteen year old son ‘thought he’d discovered weezer’. newsflash every generation finds out about the music of the previous generation at some point it comes free with being fifteen. being annoying about music also comes free with being fifteen. a kid saying yeah i’ve just found this band nirvana have you ever heard of them should be a thing of joy

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children existing in public spaces is genuinely like. necessary for the continuation of society. it doesnt have to be your kids you dont have to volunteer at a daycare or whatever but you need to be able to tolerate the presence of someone who is learning how to exist as a human and interact with people

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Glasses people love to make you try their glasses on to see how fucked up their eyes are. It's a sign of respect in their culture.

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every sunday i tell my liberal father that i'm off to go get another sex change. he tells me "yass monarch slay". but in reality i go to church to study the teachings of the lord. if my liberal father knew this i would be disowned. this is joe biden's america

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hmmm why does my uterus hurt and why do i feel kinda off. weird. surely these are not the warning symptoms of a predictable biological process that occurs on a regular schedule. anyway. im going to wear white pants today.

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tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

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when we're done booping i think tumblr should bring back porn

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But babe you love being gaslit

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i want love

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The 'hyperspecific situations' polls are really once again highlighting that native English speakers tend to forget that 'foreign' doesn't mean 'non-English' or 'non-American'

"Did you watch a foreign language movie in the past three days?" Yeah I watched the foreign movie "The Martian" with foreign actor Matt Damon

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wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

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Marriage headcanons - James Wilson x Fem!Reader

He cheats on you

You divorce