spiritfics

[spiritfics]

just for convenience sake, i’ve slowly been transferring some of my old work to ao3 under the name kykainsoo - i’ve already had someone message me to ask if it was plagiarism so i thought i would just share this here to avoid any confusion x

my ao3 (x)

[spiritfics]

MASTERLIST

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, bonus chapter 1, chapter 7

chapter 1, chapter 2

chapter 1, chapter 2

tears, emotions, goodbye [complete]

one-shot - warning smut 

Long Enough - Taeyeon x Reader (ft. Jessica)

[spiritfics]

Goodbye

tears, emotions, goodbye

Pairing: Kaisoo/Kaistal Genre: Angst Length: 1,136 words

ALSO AVAILABLE HERE

Kyungsoo felt elated. A strange electricity erupted it's way through his body and he couldn't help but enjoy the warm feeling inside. As he swayed to the music and made his way through several drinks things were finally looking up. Two strong arms wrapped their way around his waist and a pelvis pressed against his back. It was probably intended to be sexual but the height difference just made it awkward and Kyungsoo's natural reaction was to become flustered at the contact and allow a school-girlish giggle.

Kyungsoo turned to the boy behind him, linking his hands behind his neck and dragging his tongue across his pink, although slightly bruised plump lips. Kyungsoo was inspired by the 4minute song playing and decided to channel his inner HyunA and be as sexy as possible and judging by the reactions he was receiving it was working.

Jongin felt something stir in his stomach at the sight of the shorter biting his bottom lip seductively. He had never seen someone who managed to encompass both cuteness and promiscuity so flawlessly. As Kyungsoo began edging closer he knew the kiss would only be moments away.

The first kiss was chaste, a gentle pressing of one set of lips against the other. The second was made slightly deeper by Kyungsoo changing his angle of approach. Kyungsoo soon felt the pressure of teeth on his bottom lip and gladly opened his mouth to allow the eager tongue to enter and snake its way around his own. There was no battle for dominance, Kyungsoo submitted willingly allowing himself to be taken over completely.

The taller of the two pushed Kyungsoo against the wall, tracing two hands down to his firm ass before hoisting him up. Kyungsoo instinctively wrapped his legs around the other's core. The kiss was sweet like cream with the same potential to be ruining. The lingering touches against bare skin were causing Kyungsoo's senses to go into overdrive with every nerve burning at the contact as a hand made its way up Kyungsoo's shirt. Even though the party was in full swing it seemed silent to the two so absorbed in each other. The musky scent of aftershave overwhelmed Kyungsoo turning him to putty in the others hands. And the sight, even though he had no right, causing a boiling rage to run through Jongin's veins. The sight of Kyungsoo with his tongue down Sehun's throat while the latter grinded against him was something Jongin never wanted to see and yet it was happening right before his eyes.

Jongin had attempted to reconcile with Kyungsoo, to beg for forgiveness, make it right but Kyungsoo would have no word of it. Kyungsoo called Jongin every name in the book, each venomous word cutting him deep. Jongin wondered 'is this how Soo felt?' But he quickly decided that it probably didn't even scratch the surface. So he took every insult, every slap, every punch but he deserved more, he deserved far worse for hurting the boy he loved, every tear that fell from Kyungsoo’s large eyes made Jongin sure of it and Kyungsoo was determined to make him hurt.

"I would rather drink bleach than let you touch me again." Were the words uttered by Kyungsoo before he stormed out of the bathroom like a man on a mission. Something had snapped inside him as Jongin had attempted to talk. 'How dare he?' Kyungsoo thought. 'How dare he think he can get me back, how dare he think he even has the right to look at me.' Kyungsoo had realised that he was being fucking pathetic crying over someone who's actions displayed that he clearly didn't care about him.

Kyungsoo had realised that even though Jongin had lied it didn't change that what he said was the truth. He was beautiful, special and anyone would be lucky to have him. Even a liar can tell the truth sometimes and Kyungsoo had to hang onto that for his own well being. Kyungsoo had realised his own self-worth and that he could do better, that Jongin was a coward and undeserving of the love Kyungsoo offered when all he gave in return was pain. Then it hit him, he wasn't the only one who could do better. That is what had caused Kyungsoo to march out of the bathroom or rather who.

Krystal stood out amongst the others. Her icy expression, her milky skin, her silky coffee coloured locks that framed her face so perfectly. Kyungsoo had decided that since Jongin had been with both of them it put them in the same league, something he was totally okay with as Krystal was undeniably breathtaking. Anyone would be lucky to have the chic beauty to call their own and there was a long line of people willing to try so why should Krystal be wasting her time with a liar and cheat who clearly doesn’t value her or care for her at all.

Kyungsoo didn’t know how to approach Krystal however, he didn’t know what to say. Explaining to someone that their boyfriend, that they presumed was straight, had been playing them both isn’t exactly Kyungsoo’s forte, so he did the only thing he thought to do. He wordlessly handed Krystal his phone and on the screen was displayed every text, every picture and truthless confession of love and every word that caused Kyungsoo’s heart to feel as if it had been ripped from his chest and torn apart. Seeing them for herself Krystal didn’t need an explanation or any words that Kyungsoo would fail to muster because of what was there in her hands, she had the truth.

Most surprisingly Krystal apologised to Kyungsoo, she was unaware of their relationship, much like everyone else was and felt a personal guilt for the pain Kyungsoo had experienced. Strangely it appeared that out of all this Kyungsoo would at least gain a friend. Much to her nature Krystal was classy as always as she gracefully left the party and left Jongin alone.

And that was it, Jongin was truly alone now. He had no relationship with his family to speak of, everyone who knew of what he had done surely hated him and Kyungsoo, the one person he had ever loved. The boy who helped Jongin figure out who he truly was, what he really wanted, would never forgive him. As Jongin sat on the sofa contemplating his life and what a mess he had made it he didn’t notice the shorter boy approach him until his head was planted on Jongin’s lap “I still hate you but I’m sleepy and you’re my best friend, take me home.”

[spiritfics]

MASTERLIST

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, bonus chapter 1, chapter 7

chapter 1, chapter 2

chapter 1, chapter 2

tears, emotions

one-shot - warning smut 

Long Enough - Taeyeon x Reader (ft. Jessica)

[spiritfics]

The Kim Twins - Pepsi Cola [Chapter 7]

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, bonus chapter 1, chapter 7 

Pairing: Kaisoo, Jayuna Genre: School!Au, Fluff, Angst Warning: Alcohol and Drug mention, Swearing throughout Word Count: 1,214

The Kim Twins is also available here

The muffled noises from the boisterous screams of glee emitted from the elated teenagers echoed throughout the house, making the clicking of Hyuna's heeled shoes almost inaudible as she descended the grand staircase. She swallowed the lump in her throat, suffocated the butterflies in her stomach and ignored the sound of her heart in her ears. She couldn't deny that she was excited to see Jay but the anxiety was ever prevalent. It's was an unfamiliar sensation for Hyuna but one that she was determined to push through regardless.

The anxiety was replaced with excitement and a smile etched it's way across Hyuna's face when she came face to face with Jay who locked his gaze with hers, mouth ajar, eyes wide. Hyuna batted her lashes and bit her lip, she had it down to an art. The moves and motions were seeming passed down the Kim women. She had learnt from watching her mother manipulating her way to another business deal, her cousin wrapping everyone she met around her pinky finger and now Hyuna assumed the archetype of the seductress and it fit exceptionally well.

"You...wow, you look...wow." Jay stuttered out, his usual confidence obviously fizzled as he stared wide-eyed at the girl practically glowing in front of him. Jay flushed as he realised what he said and cleared his throat. "Sorry, um...you look amazing, wow, um...do you want me to get you a drink?" With a chuckle, Hyuna agreed and executed some more of her tricks the unassuming dance teacher. The formulaic brushing of the hair out of her face, the contrived way she positioned her body to accentuate her curves, the subtle touches on Jay's forearm and thigh. Hyuna had a goal in mind and by the end of the night Hyuna would be the only thought in his mind and he would be desperately wanting more.

With the liquid courage as encouragement continued the formulaic teasing that she had observed so many times, Jay was completely enthralled, hanging off Hyuna’s every word. Hyuna lead Jay to the centre of the room and began swaying her hips sensually to the beat of the music, brushing her hair up to expose her bare neck with a vixen's glare being emitted from her feline eyes. Jay’s hands soon snaked their way around Hyuna’s waist and softly brought her closer until they were almost chest to chest. Jay’s aftershave was intoxicating, it was a soft but sweet and unmistakably masculine scent that was invading Hyuna’s senses and making it almost impossible for her to hold back.

Hyuna was doing her best to resist temptation and leave Jay wanting more with his each movement of his hands against the thin material of her dress and each of his warm breaths against her neck was sending her senses into overdrive. She felt herself being pulled closer towards him but just as quickly was quite literally pulled away. “Hyuna! Um, well we’ve got a huge fucking problem” panting a clearly shaken Jongin, sweating and breathless, the sight alone was enough to give Hyuna a sickly feeling in her stomach.

“Jongin, what is it?” As much as she tried she couldn’t mask the obvious fear in her voice.

Jongin seemed to physically cringe as he began to speak. “It’s Kris...I don’t know what's happened, he’s-he’s bleeding from his mouth and having a fit? I don’t know, shit what do we do?”

Hyuna honestly had no idea how to handle the situation. She knew her parents wouldn’t approve of them having a party while they were gone but she couldn’t stand by and do nothing, especially with Jongin in the state he was. “Jongin calm down. It will be okay, okay?” Hyuna spoke softly in an attempt to calm her twin brother. “Jay I hate to ask but you drove here, right? Can you take us to the hospital, we can’t call an ambulance if do we’ll get busted for underage drinking our parents will crucify us.” Hyuna hated that she sounded once again like a girl speaking the words instead of the woman she so desperately wanted to be viewed as but this was no time for social games or flirting.

Thankfully Jay seemed far more concerned about the boy's health than any potential action that could have happened and hastily agreed, rushing to help him to his car after being Jongin’s direction to do so. “Hyun there’s one more thing...I don’t know how long Kris was in my bathroom or how long he was there but Soo and I were together before we heard him, I don’t know if he heard anything but what if he did? What if he tells someone?” “Jong, it’s not the time to worry about that, we need to make sure he’s okay first but I promise no matter what happens you will always have my support and I mean that,” Hyuna gave her best reassuring smile. “Listen I’m going to go with Jay, make sure that he gets there safely and that Kris is okay; stay here, ask everyone to leave, clean up with Kyungsoo and just try and calm down.”

The hospital ward was deadly cold and just added to the discomfort Hyuna felt when standing under the harsh fluorescent lights. The scent of disinfectant and sickness plagued the halls and all sorts of disconcerting noises really helped to make the A&E seemingly appear to be the most disturbing places to be, especially in the early hours of the morning. The only salvation from her hellish surroundings seemed to be the extortionary priced coffee machine and the gust of warm air released with the boiling water. The walls of the hospital were a ghostly white and near blinding when reflecting the garishly bright lighting. Hyuna took the two freshly brewed coffees and almost dropped them both when she turned straight into jay.

“Shit, shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” Jay helped stabilise Hyuna and gave her a dazzling smile. As cliché as it sounds they almost seemed to get lost in each other's eyes before Jay spoke again. “Kris is doing okay, well okay as he could be I guess. They found an alarmingly high amount of drugs in his system and they believe that’s what caused all this but they won’t know until they get his test results back. The hospital also contacted his parents and they’re on their way now.”

“Thanks, I’m really sorry about all of this, I don’t mean to inconvenience you like this, I had no idea any of this would happen-it never has before-I can only imagine what you think. I-” Hyuna was cut off mid sentence by two soft lips ghosting the skin of hers before softly pressing the pair together in a chaste kiss. The instant they left a tingling sensation behind in their place and although Hyuna didn’t have much experience kissing she found the simple, cautious kiss to be the nicest she had had. “I, umm, coffee?”

A/N: Aah, it's been a while hasn't it? (Almost a year jfc.)

I am so so sorry about the long wait for an update I became a writer for an EXO + BTS blog on tumblr [X] and then life happened, hard and I had no time to do anything besides being massively depressed. I'm so sorry but I hope that I can update regularly from now on and give this story the love it deserves!

[spiritfics]

hoo boy, here comes some serious talk about fandom mentality.

I feel like there’s a huge failing on readers’ parts to communicate to fic authors how much they appreciate their works or how much it affects them, unless the fic is “fandom famous” for some reason. sometimes it gets translated into demands (which are awful literally do not demand updates from an author ever).

more often than not, it gets translated into silence, and coming from a writer, the silence is probably the worst. you never know if they like it, you never know what the reader actually thinks about it. or even if they read it at all. and it’s… heartwrenching, and nervewracking and you start constantly questioning yourself and wondering if you’re actually good enough or if you belong. and you start comparing yourself. to the people who are popular, to the people with huge followings, to the people who get questions and art and compliments up the wazoo. and you start wondering if you should have bothered writing at all. in some cases you start begging. and in some cases, you do worse.

and it’s terrible. a writer shouldn’t have to beg. a writer shouldn’t have to only get attention when they’re frustrated or upset. a writer shouldn’t have to doubt themselves every time they pick up a pen or open their laptop. a writer should never feel so unimportant that they consider deleting their work–and do. and then be subjected to questions of why they deleted it.

(which, by the way, is kind of a rude thing to do. it’s their content, and they can do with it whatever makes them comfortable. and more than that–why wait until it’s gone to just suddenly unleash your appreciation for it?)

if, at this point, you are thinking, “well, writers shouldn’t write for attention anyway! writers should be writing for themselves!” then you are missing a Very Huge Point about the intricacies of and emotions behind creating art. of course art comes from the self, but art is meant to be shared. with people. like you. art is created for people to talk back to, to engage with, to live alongside–and yes, that in turn bolsters the creator’s own securities and motivation. it’s also a sad testament to the fact that we as a people have come to condemn the notion that anyone, especially content creators, should want attention at all.

and that’s toxic, and an awful mentality to have. (it’s also atrocious marketing. but, that’s another discussion for another time.)

what I’m trying to say here is this: a lot of this could be prevented by one simple thing. if you read a fic you like, *speak up about it.* make some kind of sign. about whether you like somebody’s work, or whether it excites you. reblog it to share with other people, gush in the tags, leave a comment/review if it’s on ao3 or ffn. (authors read tags as much as artists do, trust me.) kudos and likes are fine too, but like with any other kind of art, they’re very invisible. be vocal, y'all. spread the love.

and above all, *tell the author directly.* send them an ask, write a comment, tag them in an appreciation post. I can’t stress that enough. you’d be making someone’s day, relieving some securities, visible or not, instead of being complacent in this system, this mass way of thinking, that only popular writers deserve attention, that it has to be earned through working yourself raw instead of asked for. it causes these cliques and hierarchies and ultimately people start or keep maintaining this idea that people who are at the top deserve to be at the top, and people who get ignored deserve to be ignored. (which I have, in fact, heard people say, and that’s… I don’t even have a word for that.)

I just. something has to give, you guys. we have to stop doing this. we have to stop letting this happen. we have to be kind to our writers before they disappear.

and yes, you can reblog this post. in fact, I’d highly encourage it.

[spiritfics]

Yeah I'm feeling the third part of Tears will be the final addition, if people really want more after that I might do it but later on. Family Friend was intended to be 6 parts so I'll try and wrap that up soon and then after that I'm thinking some Lee Taemin X Male (O.C./Reader) (let me know which) bc there isn't enough

I want to write something gay af

I feel like when I wrap up the Tears trilogy (? Idk yet) and Family Friend I’ll finally start my good old gay Taemin story

[spiritfics]

Emotions [Submission]

Author: spiritfics

Genre: Angst

Rating: PG-13

Length: Twoshot

Kinks/Warnings: Mentions of abuse and suggested homophobia

Summary: Jongin has a lot of emotions and they have a lot of influence over him.

Note: Sequel to Tears that was submitted previously, author plans to write an ending based on reader response 

(Read)

[spiritfics]

Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic

[spiritfics]

@kyangsoups I'm glad you liked it!

Emotions - Tears

tears, emotions

Pairing: Kaisoo/Kaistal

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1,143

Warning: Mentions of abuse and possible homophobia 

A:N/ FINALLY UP! I’m so sorry for the delay. Let me know how you want it to end!

ALSO AVAILABLE HERE

Forever. That is what he had said, that was the word that he breathed out against Kyungsoo’s lips after their first kiss. He never saw himself falling for a boy, kissing a boy but that didn’t change the reality of Jongin’s situation. He could help the butterflies that abused the inside of his stomach when his best friend made his way into his line of sight. He couldn’t help the dryness that formed into his mouth or the lump that became caught in his throat.

Keep reading

[spiritfics]

By the way I finally showed the initiative have the links to every chapter of the respective story on each chapter

Happy reading

[spiritfics]

MASTERLIST

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, bonus chapter 1 

chapter 1, chapter 2

chapter 1, chapter 2

tears, emotions

one-shot - warning smut 

Long Enough - Taeyeon x Reader (ft. Jessica)

[spiritfics]

Emotions - Tears

tears, emotions, goodbye

Pairing: Kaisoo/Kaistal

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1,143

Warning: Mentions of abuse and possible homophobia 

A:N/ FINALLY UP! I’m so sorry for the delay. Let me know how you want it to end!

ALSO AVAILABLE HERE

Forever. That is what he had said, that was the word that he breathed out against Kyungsoo’s lips after their first kiss. He never saw himself falling for a boy, kissing a boy but that didn’t change the reality of Jongin’s situation. He could help the butterflies that abused the inside of his stomach when his best friend made his way into his line of sight. He couldn’t help the dryness that formed into his mouth or the lump that became caught in his throat.

Emotions are such a strange thing. They are so intangible, you can’t see them, you can’t touch them, taste them, smell them or hear them and yet, they have such a large impact on all of our senses. For something so internal, so personal that what is felt once will never be replicated perfectly, emotions have one of the largest influences on the decisions we make; even decisions that affect those who have never felt our own emotions.

Jongin is his own worst enemy and his hearts is his head. Each emotion is a reaction to the actions around us and we are have decided when it is appropriate, when it is correct, to feel an emotion. If someone insults us it is correct to feel: indifferent, annoyance maybe anger depending on the situation. When someone compliments us it is correct to feel: thankful, humbled, flattered and any other of the spectrum of happy emotions. Yet when someone of the same sex compliments us it is incorrect to feel: flustered, embarrassed or anything else relating to a sexual or emotional attraction. At least, that is what Jongin was taught.

A boy’s first hero is his father or the closest male influence in his life. They are taught to look up to them, emulate them, their behaviour, their ideals. Jongin’s father is a good man, hardworking, disciplined, a model citizen and an outstanding father. When Jongin’s mother passed away his father took the responsibilities of single parenthood in his stride. He made sure to teach his son to be respectful, gentle yet firm, considerate of others and himself. His father made sure to tell his son how proud his was of his achievements and how disappointed his was of his mistakes. Jongin’s father often told Jongin how when he was hard on him it was because he was teaching him how to be a good student, employee, man and eventually husband. Yes, Jongin’s father made it clear from an early age that he was going to teach his son how to look after and provide for his wife and children.

Wife. That word leaves a sickly taste in Jongin’s mouth just at the thought of it. He doesn’t want a wife, he wants his best friend, his lover, his first everything, his Kyungsoo. But that isn’t a realistic option.

Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo. Every fucking thought is polluted by that boy. His soft, gentle lips that feel like rose petals against Jongin’s lips and taste just like cinnamon. His small hands resting delicately against Jongin’s abdomen still leave prints and pressure when Jongin is alone. His voice that sounds like fucking honey. The indescribable warmth and sweetness that invaded Jongin’s senses when he nuzzled against his milky skin. No matter how perfect that boy seems, no matter how much Jongin thinks he loves him he can’t. He’s the problem or the fact that he is one rather. Why couldn’t he be her, everything would be so much easier if he was.

Jongin’s body is still marked by Kyungsoo; the bruises on his neck and shoulder, the scratches down his back. They are not alone, however, his body is also littered with bruises and cuts of a different nature, these were not fueled by passion but by rage. To say Jongin’s father was livid when Jongin came out to him, confessed everything to him, would be an understatement.

Jongin had a lot of fears and had gone to great lengths to hide who he really was. Sneaking around, keeping his real relationship with Kyungsoo secret and even agreeing to date the girl his friends had insisted he would look amazing with. They weren’t wrong Krystal is undeniably beautiful and next to each other they caught every one’s attention. “The visual couple” is what people called them, a fucking sham is a truth.

After the night Jongin and Kyungsoo had given themselves to each other fully and made love for the first time Jongin had decided it was time to come clean and be honest about his relationship and finally be able to let the world know how he felt about Kyungsoo but after his conversation with his father’s first he was reminded that two boys being together is unnatural and wrong.

Jongin avoided Kyungsoo for a week but now here he is; in a too crowded house, with too loud music and not enough alcohol to drown the guilt that is crushing every fibre of Jongin’s being as he notices Kyungsoo rush into the hallway. Jongin’s mind is telling him to stay, to keep his arm wrapped tightly around Krystal’s waist, not drink too much and just pretend to be having a good time at the very least. But Jongin’s heart, his heart is screaming at him to follow Kyungsoo even though he knows at this point he probably wants nothing to with him anymore.

The thing about emotions is that they hold so much influence and before he can fully register what he’s doing Jongin has leant close to Krystal’s ear and is whispering “I need to go to the bathroom.” She merely hums in response but that’s all it takes for Jongin  to disconnect his arm and walk into the hallway, following Kyungsoo.

Amongst the closed doors and moans coming from various directs the light from the slightly open bathroom door and the soft sobs muffled behind it stand out to Jongin like a screeching banshee in a spotlight. Jongin’s steps are uncertain and hesitant but he takes them anyway, right foot, left foot, one after another and with each step he gets closer until his fingertips and ghosting over the door.

It feels like it takes all of Jongin’s strength just to push the door open and when he does he wish he hadn’t at all. By his feet, curled up in a ball sobbing hysterically was his best friend, his lover, his Kyungsoo. Unsure of what else to do Jongin clears his throat. Kyungsoo sluggishly raises his head to face the sound and when Jongin sees the doe eyes glistening with the tears that threaten to fall, joining the others that stain his lover’s cheeks and the broken expression behind them is enough to relinquish all control to Jongin’s heart and suddenly he is full of various emotions; pain, regret, sorrow, guilt but ultimately, and always, love.

So you've heard Jongin's side of the story. I tried to change the narrative voice and tone enough to fit the two different characters personalties and head space in the story! Do you want Kyungsoo and Jongin to reconnect and live happily ever after or is Jongin still a piece of shit who isn't good enough for Kyungsoo let me know! As it is right now the majority want Kyungsoo to move on and do better so we shall see if it stays that way (probably I haven't written in a while and I don't think this part is that good.

[spiritfics]

Tears [Submission]

Author: spiritfics

Genre: Angst

Rating: PG-13

Length: Oneshot

Kinks/Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Cheating

Summary: Kaisoo with Jongin cheating/leaving for Krystal 

Note: Really good and underrated Kaisoo/Kaistal fic, lots of emotions!

(Read)

[spiritfics]

When I have to write fluff and not angst

[spiritfics]

I’M TAKING REQUESTS!

I have been thinking about this for a long time and I feel writing more is the best way to improve! I am willing to write reactions, ships, imagines, scenarios whatever as requested! 

I will be writing about:

EXO

4Minute

BTS

SNSD

AOA

If you have a particular group you would like me to write about that isn’t on the list it is probably because I am unfamiliar with them but I will always be willing to check them out for you! The time for a request to be published will increase as you go down the list as the groups up top are the ones I am most familiar and comfortable with!

Please send in any requests you have! Thank you!

[spiritfics]

Tears

Pairing: Kaisoo/Kaistal

Genre: Angst 

Word Count: 1,046

A:N/ I was listing to ‘Dancing With Tears In My Eyes’ and I got inspired I guess idk it doesn’t follow the narrative of the song. I’ll do a squeal if you want it.

ALSO AVAILABLE HERE

Forever. That is what he had said, that was the word that he breathed out against Kyungsoo’s lips after their first kiss. That was the promise that Jongin had made to him. The thing is it turns out that promises are so temporary, so fragile and forever is an impossible promise to keep.

Keep reading