somewhat-incorrect-magi-quotes

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Kougyoku: Where could my future husband be?

Aladdin: *coughs loudly*

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Sinbad: You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

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Aladdin: You just need to use what the universe gave you.

Kougyoku: My charm and my wit?

Aladdin: That’s a weird name for your boobs.

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Hakuryuu: Are you sure this is a good idea?

Judar: Dude, she doesn't like you. She's shown no interest. She's way into someone else. Why give up now?

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Sinbad: I lied to someone once.

Ja’far: ONCE?

Sinbad: Okay, I got caught once.

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No one:

Literally no one:

Judar: You tryna die?

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Kougyoku: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?

Alibaba: Um..48 into 120?

Kougyoku: I'm only eating foods with less than 30% calories of fat.

Aladdin: It's 40%. Well, 48 over 120 equals x over a 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of x.

Kougyoku: Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries.

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Spartos: Don't have sex. 

Spartos: Because you will get pregnant, and die. 

Spartos: Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just... don't do it.

Spartos: Promise?

Sinbad, Masrur, and Pisti: ....

Spartos: *sighing* Alright, everybody grab some rubbers.

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Sinbad: Frickin' head's poundin', I'm sweatin' booze and my mouth's killin' me!

Masrur: You're the one who stuffed four pool balls in it.

Sinbad: Personal best!

Ja’far: Your mother must be so proud.

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Hakuryuu: You know, I think we’re making some real progress.

Kougyoku: Where, in opposite world? We’re never gonna finish all this!

Hakuryuu: We could, if certain people would help!

Judar: *standing behind stacked cardboard boxes* I’m sorry, are you addressing me?

Judar: Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.

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Judar: Jesus Christ, how many times do I have to apologize for that?

Alibaba: Once would be nice!

Judar: Hmm...

Judar: No.

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*Aladdin and Kougyoku arguing*

Kougyoku: Look, I have a right to be here-

Aladdin: NO! Maybe because you’re skinny and maybe cause you’re pretty, you’re used to getting away with things! But I want you to know that your actions have an effect on others and I hate you! And you are a horrible person! And you not understanding you’re a horrible person doesn’t make you less of a horrible person.

Kougyoku: ...

Kougyoku: You think I’m pretty?

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Sinbad: Uh-oh, looks like Santa was a little naughty.

Spartos: What is that?

Sinbad: This is Christmas spirit.

Sinbad: As in, spirits.

Sinbad: Booze.

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*during the Christmas celebration in Sindria*

Ja’far: Can I just talk to you for a second?

Sinbad: *drunk* Okay, what?

Ja’far: You can’t yell out, “I need this, I need this,” as you pin down a citizen in your lap.

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Judar: My diabolical plan is on hold for Christmas.

Judar: My heart just melts from the sound of children singing.

Judar: *snickers* Not really.

Judar: I’m just tired. The days are short.

Judar: I don’t know.

Judar: Maybe I’m depressed.

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*Judar during winter*

Judar: The fuck? The fuck?

Judar: The fuck is the air?

Judar: The fuck?

Judar: There’s white shit everywhere.

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Policeman: Do you know why I’ve stopped you today, sir?

Judar: Because I let you.

Judar: *gets ticket*