shesprideful - Tumblr blog

[shesprideful]

if you’re looking for me...

To all my old RP partners and wonderful writers who’s written with one or many of my characters below:

- shesprideful: Emma Vanity (marauder’s era)

- normalitae: Petunia Evans (marauder’s era)

- doeofgryffindor/mrsantlers: Lily Evans (marauder’s era)

- minidomini: Dominique Weasley (next gen)

If you find yourself back here and looking for me missing me, you can find me (& all my writing) here:

Bridgerton Roleplay Group: I’ve completely moved to RP here with so many wonderful people!! If you happen to be interested in joining this group, we have a bunch of Open Characters waiting for a wonderful writer to play them. (I have a specific Wanted Characters list as well if you miss writing with me!)

alsooooooooooo,

you can find me on my discord here: vanitea#0877 (mutuals friendly)

I know some of my writing partners from years ago sometimes come back to try and find me..... this way we won’t ever lose contact!!! EVER!

Please do let me know who you are though if you’re adding me, or send me a DM here to let me know you’re adding my discord.

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I just finished the Bridgerton books - pls give me motivation to write again and send me active bridgerton rp characters /rp groups that I can join (comment or send me a dm whatever) because my fingers are itching hard :) ooooor.... like this post if you're an active hp rp character looking for a new writing partner bc im ready and might make this a multi-muse blog with all of my beloved characters (+ petunia) if you remember me, i have a hobby of breaking people's hearts

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phew... that thread took a toll on me lmao i love it. maybe its time to bring emma back? can someone point me to more hp indie rpers in the marauder’s era that’s still active and open to interacting with Emma Vanity pls

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 ✖︎┇BARTY.

_

Lips slowly CURL into a g r i n, exposing pearly whites as he tries his best not to laugh at the—-did she think that was an insult? But it’s too late. A twisted gaze shifts up to meet with her own, the breathy L A U G H that follows a little too loud for comfort. & he takes a step towards her as she retreats, keeping their proximity close no matter how DESPERATELY she wanted to get away. 

❛    You know I had no choice in leaving…   ❜

It was true—–had he not been captured, none of this would have happened. That’s not to say Barty would have abandoned the Dark Lord ; in fact, it was quite the opposite. It would have allowed him a more D E V O T E D allegiance to, rather than being imprisoned for years. & he could have returned sooner, with less difficulty providing Barty’s freedom. Merlin knows Pettigrew wasn’t the most sought after death eater in the group—-he was only the most available. 

The smile still lingers on his lips, that night F R E S H in his mind as if it just happened yesterday. How easy it had been to sneak away, how she was none the wiser of his prolonged absence from the dinner table. It was so E A S Y to fool those who preferred to stay in the dark.

❛     It HAD to be done—& he insisted that I       would be the one to do it.   He believed        in me, Emma, when NO ONE else did.       He was there when even my own flesh       & blood REFUSED to be. How could I       not listen? How could I have been SO        blind for so many years??? The Dark        Lord and I have so much in common.       I’ve finally found where I belong.    ❜

                "     DON’T             ....      "

she said softly as she let go of her wand and raise both hands to cover her ears while her gaze still locked on the ground beneath her. she wanted so much for the earth to swallow her whole right then and there so she didn’t have to listen to what he had to say. she wanted so much to fight him, hurt him, punch him so that he’d stop making her relive those horrible memories but she could almost feel her body betraying her the same time as those thoughts came flooding in. body shaking, eyes fluttering rapidly as to stop the tears from making its way down to her cheeks.

" Don’t you dare say that as though you were the victim. Don’t you dare say that as though you really had no other choice because you did have a choice            .... "

her voice trembled as she said so, her arms now fell limp on her side. she’d realise then that there was no way of getting through to him that way. especially not after seeing the smile linger on his lips, giving shivers down her spine. " i don’t want to hear any of it anymore.... you weren’t happy with me, were you, barty? "  her voice cracked when she called him by his name. how long has it been since she last spoke of his name? how long has it been since she called him by his name? his name suddenly felt foreign to her, the person she called out for and the person looking back at her didn’t feel like the same person to her at all. she closed her eyes tightly as to preserve whatever good memories of barty she had left in her mind. she didn’t want it to be replaced by this stranger standing in front of her.    “   there can’t be any other reason why you can be this horrible... to me. was any of it real? it couldn’t have been... for you. otherwise you wouldn’t have           ...  ” she stopped mid-sentence, she couldn’t bare to continue it.

“   but it was for me.. real. and true. you might not believe it and it’s alright you don’t have to.. but i believed in you. i believed in you because you believed in me. all those years in hogwarts, you were the only support system i had beside my parents... but you took them away from me. and as if that wasn’t enough, you took whoever i once thought you were away with you. no goodbye, no nothing. i was alone for a long, long time. grieving my parents, grieving you.... ”

she reached out and grabbed her wand, gripping it tightly. “           ... i wish you had died in azkaban. i wish i didn’t have to see you today and let you ruin the beautiful memories i had of him... for all i know, barty died that night and i’ve grieved him. you’re just another person to me...  ”  she stood up, quickly wiping her tears as as she did so. she wanted to quickly get out of there, she didn’t need him to keep on pressing on her wound. he was long gone and beyond saving.... though she can’t deny that deep down she wished some remnants of the barty she once knew and adored would slip through.. after all, she didn’t have anyone else. “  i’m done with you so leave me. leave me alone since you’re so good at doing that. or do you not do things when i’m the one who asks you to do it?  ”

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            ❛        It’s good that you’re separated from

                                               normal people !      ❜

                                                         promo full credit: x

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‘ i am in control & i listen to no one. ’

“ —- even to McGonagall? well, mr. i’m in control, i don’t mean to burst your bubble or ‘nything but i never pegged you as someone who doesn’t do their homework. that’s me, not you.”

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remember the time i wanted to make a gifset of when emma saw the dark mark near her house (before finding out her parents got killed by one of the death eaters) but only managed to finish this one gif hMMM

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based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

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Anchor // Novo Amor

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i may start trying to be more active here. how’s everyone? is anyone still around even?

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I miss this place so much but i’ve lost my muse. oH THE DILEMMA

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grimfleas:

              “Names?” repeated the long-haired driver. “Er - well, let’s see. There’s Wilberforce… Bathsheba… Elvendork ——— Oh, OUR NAMES, did you mean?”INDEPENDENT SIRIUS BLACK. WRITTEN BY BRAM.

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kneazlebreeder:

                     ❛     Look ! That’s Arabella, the daughter.             Poor ol’ man. He’s gone through enough and now he’s got a squib for a daughter! It’s all because of the wife, I tell you. She’s a muggle. What a disgrace !     ❜

                                          indie rp blog for arabella figg.                                                               written by jo.

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dancanto replied to your post: knowing how lovely the fbawtft fandom is, now i...

( all the fbawtft ocs!!! )

fbawtft has officially ruined my life.

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knowing how lovely the fbawtft fandom is, now i kind of want to make an fbawtft OC. twins or siblings maybe. from ilvermorny.

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dear-indies:

We are creating a masterlist for every Harry Potter roleplayer.

The list is here. 

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harrypotterindies:

Are you tired of scrolling through endless HP RP tags; tags filled with nothing but the same RPG’s over & over again - desperately searching for active blogs to follow & interact with? Well - look no further! Harrypotterindies is going to be working hard to keep an up-to-date masterlist of all of the active indie rp blogs in the HP fandom!

GUIDELINES:

Reblog with the name of your character in the tags, or have the character name clearly marked somewhere on the home page of your blog!

If a blog hasn’t been active in over a month, it will be removed from the list - but if you ever reboot/come back to said blog, only to find you’ve been removed from this list, feel free to hit us up and we’ll stick you right back on!