searxhing4skinny

[searxhing4skinny]

i keep thinking about being 85kg and it genuinely makes me angry. like. i hate the idea so much. i’m gonna add 2000 jumps to my routine bc right now i’m just fasting but i’m not working out. so i’m gonna work out everyday for the next 20 days and by God if i haven’t lost AT LEAST 8-10kg by then i swill screammmm

[searxhing4skinny]

this is why i decided to stop weighing myself and focus on non - scale victories because it’s so discouraging. anyway. right now i have a pair of pants that doesn’t close at all and i have every intention of having it close (even uncomfortably) by the end of the month

[searxhing4skinny]

i can’t believe i’m still at 85kg 😩😩 i’ve been restricting a lot more since last week and yet i’m still a fatty. i’m angry and disgusted. i wish there was a way to speed up my weight loss

[searxhing4skinny]

21 Day Fast Accountability Thing

I’m doing 43 rounds of 12 hour fasting 😂 (it’s silly but it helps to think of it as a lot of little fasts instead of one giant fast ukno)

I just finished Round 4 (tried to track 1-3 on twt but i got shy lol)

Round 4 ✅

Round 5/43 ✅ (38 more rounds to go)

Round 6 (kinda) ✅ (37 more rounds)

I had to end this one early because my mom was starting to catch on and she gave me a whole bowl of mac. So. You know. I’m back at it as soon as I’m done with the food though.

Round 7 kinda ✅

Also had to end this one early because my mom was watching me like a HAWK but i’m finally back to work so I can see the next one through

Round 8 has been a MESS 😩 I have only myself to blame this time. But I’m getting right back on the wagon. I can’t afford to fuck this up

Round 9 ✅ (33 more rounds to go)

These rounds keep passing by so quickly 😂 but I’m proud of myself for R9, I didn’t break it at all (I was sleeping for most of it but still. I’ll take my victories where I can, ukno)

Round 10 ✅ (32 to go!!!)

I’m so proud of myself because in this cycle, I came so close to breaking my fast but I managed to c/s a whole meal.

[searxhing4skinny]

i put on so much over the holidays but my birthday is in 5 weeks and i have pledged with EVERYTHING in me that if i don’t drop it off by then, ooooooh there’s trouble

[searxhing4skinny]

i’ve been doing really well with my f4sting and finally found a system that works for me. normally, my plan is to alternate eating days and f4sting days. So I have 24 hours of f4sting and a 24 hour window of not. In the eating window, I only go up to 800.

But I started a 7 day f4st and putting it on here keeps me accountable. So I’ll be doing updates either every 24 hours or every 12 hours.

[searxhing4skinny]

my life is basically falling apart. the up side? i have no appetite because I’m always stressed. SILVER LININGS PEOPLE

[searxhing4skinny]

so. i messed up June

LMFAO.

July is totally gonna be my month though. starting a 21 day liquid fast on Monday.

For real this time (🙄)

[searxhing4skinny]

today is the last day of Phase2. I’ve messed up all my progress bc I’ve been eating a LOT (actually not that much but my body gains at the mere thought of food, so.)

i’ll be able to weigh myself in about 4 days so i started a 4 day soft dry fast bc I’m getting desperate and paranoid. (DW, I’ve done this kind of thing before for religious reasons).

[searxhing4skinny]

so I’m on day 3 of phase 2 and so far I’ve failed to have my 500 OMAD. I’ve been eating “normally” but unable to workout, meaning I’ve probably gone back to 83.something.

I’m just gonna fast. That’s so much easier for me than high or even low res. It’s gonna be hard because my mom LOVES feeding me but I can “stomach bug” my way out of eating I think.

[searxhing4skinny]

Phase 2 - PLAN.

OMAD (500) and 30-45 minutes workout.

I won’t be able to weigh myself for 6 days so I’m terrified but also a bit excited.

I’ll keep a food log also.

[searxhing4skinny]

the last time i FaceTimed with my mother, she literally asked me why my cheeks are so big. she’s gonna be coming over to my place in about three weeks so i plan to lose as much as possible by then. i genuinely want her to be shocked at how i look.

[searxhing4skinny]

i went a few days without talking to my mom. started missing her a bit today so i knew she was gonna call me. i had gained back all the weight i lost from my last efforts (PLUS AN EXTRA KG YAY), so i’m at a spanking brand new HW 😂

i was planning on ⭐️ving myself for the next 12 days, maybe i will lose 7-8 KGs. i wasn’t sure about it though because my self control has been completely noodly lately so I’m a bit scared i’ll binge. the first thing my mother said to me on FaceTime was that my cheeks look bigger (“or have you just gotten fat again?”)

GUESS WHO’S FASTING TILL KINGDOM COME, FOLKS

[searxhing4skinny]

I’m gonna give myself two days of eating whatever I want next week if I hit my goal of being either 78 or 77 by then. I’m not going to care about cals and I won’t weigh myself until the next Monday (which will be like 4 days into a fast).

It’s all very exciting stuff lol

[searxhing4skinny]

i just got admitted into my dream uni programme so i decided to celebrate. friend and i got food and i ate the broccoli and chicken. i haven’t had pasta in so long and i think my body isn’t interested in it anymore because i just can’t eat it. I’m weirdly proud of myself for being able to eat without feeling like I’m losing control.

(Also, I know the only reason I’m okay with eating is because I convinced myself that it’s a “special occasion”. It’s truly messed up but it worked, so 🤷🏾‍♀️)

[searxhing4skinny]

i say this all the time but OHMYGOD i will never gain any of this weight back.

i have to wear my work clothes tomorrow and none of it fits well 😭 my belly spills over my pants and i hate it. So. Fucking. Much.

i legitimately want to cry.

[searxhing4skinny]

i’m planning on eating a meal tomorrow bc i can feel a binge coming on and i know one meal will satiate it. but i’m already having such anxiety about it. like, i’m pre - sad? just thinking about it?

it’s so exhausting and i wish there was some way i could magically just be happy with my body. but. alas.

also, i have a new resolution. i won’t weigh myself from tomorrow afternoon to next Sunday afternoon. (it’s gonna be ~interesting~ because one of my more unhealthy habits is compulsively weighing myself multiple times a day.)

i want to teach myself to focus on non - scale victories, like how my clothes fit, or whatever.