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scxrletivy · 3 days ago

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Daylight - B.B.

Description: Bucky overhears someone say that you should be with Steve instead of him and spirals a little bit.

TW: a little bit of angst but other than that none, really.

Author's note: I hope you enjoy this story; it's a trope I've often seen on here and I wanted to give my take on it. I love writing angst for Bucky, but always with a happy ending because our sargeant deserves all the good things in the world.

Word count: 2.7k.

This story is my original work and I do not give permission for anyone to copy, share or repost it anywhere without my explicit consent.

Back in the Forties, James Buchanan Barnes was a confident young man. It came naturally to him, it was like an innate quality: whether it was charming any girl he’d meet, talk his way out of a mess or impress his superiors in the Army, it was clear to every single person he encountered that he exuded confidence.

When he had broken free from Hydra’s control and had regained his freedom, he felt like a completely different person; long gone was the bold twenty something, leaving in his place a hundred-year-old man who felt like his confidence had completely slipped through his fingers.

Therapy, the work he put in and being surrounded again by people who loved him and cared for him helped restore some of his confidence. But what truly moved the needle was your relationship; at first, he found it hard to believe that someone as sweet, beautiful and pure as you could ever even give him the time of the day. But with time and patience you managed to help him believe that he deserved you (actually, that he deserved all the good things in the world) and Bucky got some of his confidence back.

He felt capable and useful every time someone complemented his skills or decisions during a mission; he felt smart when the younger Avengers like Wanda or Peter were in awe of how much stuff he knew; he felt like a man he could be proud of when he realised that you loved him and were more than happy to be seen on his arm.

This, however, didn’t mean that the old insecurities never came crawling back.

Some days were harder than others; and lately it seemed that the number of hard days had increased, which had you worried. Bucky was the soldier, spy and former assassin, but that didn’t mean that you were unable to notice details. You were a person who cared deeply for those you loved and that meant paying attention to everything. You had realised that Bucky didn’t quite seem like himself and was reverting back to old habits: he isolated himself more than usual, passed up invitations to hang out with the group for movie nights and spent an unhealthy amount of time in the gym.

You were going to get to the bottom of this and find out what was going on with Bucky.

You entered the kitchen and saw Bucky sitting there, at island, nursing a cup of coffee.

“Hi baby, how did you sleep tonight?” You greeted him with a sweet kiss on the cheek.

“Alright, I guess…” he answered. “You, doll?”

You frowned. He was clearly trying to change the subject because you knew for a fact that he was not sleeping fine and he hadn’t been for quite a while.

“Are you sure you’re sleeping alright? You seem tired.”

Bucky got up, put his mug in the sink and kissed your temple.

“I’m sure doll, don’t worry.”

Then he turned around and retreated, probably to the gym.

You sighed. Things were worse than you expected.

The first step was going to talk to Steve. Your relationship with Bucky ran deep, but you knew that there were parts of him that Steve understood better than you and you were not above asking for help when it came to Bucky’s wellbeing.

It was a quiet afternoon and you knew exactly where to find Steve; he was in one of the smaller conference rooms looking over some data from the last mission he had gone on.

You knocked on the door and his head immediately shot up; he gestured you to come in.

“Hi sweetheart, is everything alright?”

You instantly smiled. Steve was always so sweet and nice with you; when you had joined the group, he had immediately taken you under his wing as if you were a little sister to him, exactly how he’d done with Wanda because that’s just who he was: he was always looking out for the people around him; he constantly told you how happy he was that you were with Bucky, because you both deserved the best and were made for each other. You knew you could count on him.

“Truth is… I don’t know,” you sighed and sat on the desk.

Steve immediately closed the file he was looking over and gave you all his attention.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was filled with concern.

“It’s about Bucky… he’s been strange lately, he’s quieter than usual and he’s retreating into himself. He spends a lot of time alone, he’s always at the gym and I can see that something is clearly wrong with him but he won’t talk to me, no matter how hard I try.”

Steve let out a sigh as well.

“I’ve noticed too. I’ve been meaning to talk to him, but it’s difficult, you know? I don’t want him to think that we feel like we have to walk on eggshells around him and worry about every little thing because we think that part of the Winter Soldier is still inside him. And I’m worried that if I go to him and ask him if he’s fine every time he seems off that’s exactly what he’ll think.”

“It’s a difficult situation,” you agreed, “but I want to help him. I want him to know that he can count on me, on us, that he’s not alone anymore, he doesn’t have to face his problems on his own.”

“I know sweetheart,” Steve took your hand, “how about we talk to him together? Try to be as gentle as possible, but make him understand that we are here for him.”

“Sounds like a good plan, Steve. Thanks.”

You two got up and he hugged you. You were glad to have him as a friend.

What you didn’t know, though, was that on the other side of the glass doors, Bucky was looking at the same scene and using it as further proof of the fact that Steve was a better fit for you than him.

It had started a few weeks before. Bucky was coming back from a walk around the neighbourhood, he entered the lobby of the Tower but stopped in his tracks before turning the corner and reaching the elevator when he heard some agents saying your name.

“I mean I agree that they’re cute and all but can you imagine having to take care of your partner like that? It can’t be easy to be with someone who has his past.”

“Oh, come on don’t be so mean… but you’re not completely wrong, she probably has to mind everything she says and make sure not to trigger him somehow. It must be exhausting.”

“Now you get me! I’m sure it’d be easier to be with someone like Steve, y’know?”

Bucky zoned out after that; he felt sick to his stomach. He had been feeling down in the past days, he didn’t know why, sometimes it just happened; and hearing those words, coming out of the mouth of people he shouldn’t have care about, was the nail in the coffin.

He retreated to the lobby and hastily got out of the building. He needed to clear his head.

After that day he began spiralling. Rationally, he knew that you and Steve were good friends and nothing more; hell, he was happy to know that you had someone in your corner who loved you like a brother, like Steve did. His top priority in life was making sure that you were always safe; when he wasn’t assigned on missions with you, but Steve was, he was able to go to sleep feeling slightly calmer knowing that you had someone watching your back like he would've done.

But jealousy and insecurity could be a rough beast to battle. So he began looking at your interactions with Steve and wondering whether the agents were right. Maybe he really was a burden to you, maybe you really did feel like you were constantly managing what you said and how you acted around him; hadn’t he been going down a panic spiral, he would’ve tried to remind himself that you worried about his well-being because you loved him, and it wasn’t a burden. But he couldn’t help but wonder. Steve was the sun and he had always been; he was a gentleman, he was able to keep a level head even in the worst situations, he played the peace-keeper because he wanted everybody to feel heard and cared for. He stood for what he believed him and was a role model for hundreds of thousands of people. A hero. And while Bucky had come a long way from his Hydra days, “role model” and “hero” weren’t exactly words he thought people would use to describe him.

So, were those people right? He watched you with Steve; how at ease you were, how brightly you smiled, how light-hearted your laugh was. Looking at him hugging you, in that conference room, he only had one thought in his mind: how safe you must feel in Steve’s arms.

He was holding you back from the beautiful and peaceful life you could have, that much was clear. But he loved you too much to hurt you and he’d rather break his own heart than keep you from finding true happiness. He was going to fix things. Or make a huge mess.

You and Steve looked at each other. Things were becoming worse. That morning Bucky had slipped out of bed before you had woken up; or so you thought: then, thanks to Friday, you had found out that he had gotten up at 2 a.m.; he hadn’t gone back to his room (which would’ve still been strange, since you basically shared your room at this point), no, he had gone to the gym.

You had barely seen him that day; he hadn’t had breakfast or lunch with you and every time you entered a room he seemed to realise that there was something extremely important he needed to tend to in another room. The fifth time it happened, you and Steve exchanged a look and silently decided that it was time to talk to him.

That’s how you found yourselves together in front of the door of Bucky’s room. You took a deep breath and knocked.

No sound came from inside.

You knocked again and spoke.

“Hi Buck, it’s me. Are you in there?”

After a beat of silence you heard footsteps and, finally, the door opened to reveal your boyfriend. Your heart squeezed when you saw him: dark circles around his eyes and a distraught look on his face.

His features softened a little bit when he saw you, but you didn’t miss the expression of hurt that flashed on his face when he saw Steve, which left the both of you confused.

“Hi buddy…” Steve spoke up. “Can we come in?”

Bucky didn’t say a word, but he stepped aside to let you enter the bedroom. He felt panic rising in his stomach; what was happening was very clear: you and Steve had finally decided to get together and were there to inform you of your decision. He wasn’t stupid, he saw the worried expression on your face: you were so nice, so lovely, and he was sure you didn’t mean to break his heart.

“Buck, we need to talk to you.” You began with a trembling tone.

He sighed. Better to rip the bandaid off.

“I know why you’re here.”

“You know?” Steve’s tone was surprised.

The thought of losing you felt like worse than any injury Bucky had experienced in his entire life; if he had to lose you, though, he was happy to accpet to be to someone like Steve. He was going to give you everything you deserved and more.

“Yeah, I know,” he took a deep breath, “you guys have realised you want to be together and you’re here to break the news.”

You felt your jaw fall to the floor. What the hell was he talking about?

Steve was too stunned to speak as well: he opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no sound came out. Bucky took it as his opportunity to speak up.

“I want you to know you have my blessing. It will be hard to see you guys together, I won’t lie, but I know you can be truly happy.” He turned to Steve. “You can give her all she deserves. Take care of her how I couldn’t…”

You broke out of the daze you had fallen in and shot up.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Bucky was taken aback. You rarely cursed and definitely never used that tone with him. He was about to answer, but you kept going.

“I don’t know what is happening in that head of yours, but you’re way off course, buddy. Break up with you and be with Steve? With your blessing? Jesus Christ.”

Steve took the opportunity to intervene, with a softer tone.

“What she’s trying to say, pal, is that there’s nothing between us. We’re not here to tell you we want to be together. We’re here because we’re worried for you and we thought we’d come talk to you together.”

Bucky’s face fell.

“Oh…”

“Yes, oh.” Your tone was calmer. You moved closer to him and put your hands on his shoulders. “How could you think I’d ever break up with you to be with Steve?”

He looked at you and in the blue of his eyes you saw all the pain he’d gone through in the last days.

It took all the confidence he had to open up, but he managed to speak.

“I overheard some agents talking about how difficult it must be to be in a relationship with me and how easier it’d be to be with someone like Steve… I guess I was in a bad place and it took very little to spiral.”

Steve spoke up and you turned to look at him.

“Buck, I’d never to anything like this to you. You know I care about her like a brother. That’s all there is between us.”

“Rationally, I know. I got carried away and I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“You don’t need to apologise, you know we're always fine. We could go on a run later and talk? I think you two need a little time alone.”

You both smiled at Steve, who put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder in a comforting manner and then left the room.

You took your boyfriend’s hand and led him to the bed; you sat, leaning on the headboard, and let Bucky lie his head on your thighs.

You were silent for a beat; it was peaceful, but you knew you needed to talk about what had happened.

“Buck, you have to know I’d never do anything like that. Because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody else. And you’re not a burden to me, you could never be… I love taking care of you and that’s what you do when you’re in a relationship, you worry for the person you love, you make sure that they’re fine and you share your problems.”

He looked up at you. There was nothing but love and adoration in your eyes.

He felt like he could finally breathe after all the awful thoughts that had been drowning him in the past days.

“I’m sorry I doubted you. I love you so much and I am scared of losing you. I know it won’t happen, but sometimes I worry I can’t give you all that you deserve.”

“You give me more than I could hope for, Buck. I’m lucky to have you, I couldn’t want anybody else.”

You gave him a sweet kiss.

“Next time you feel like this, you immediately come talk to me. And we solve it together, because now that we have each other there’s no problem in the world we’ll ever have to face alone. Or you talk to Steve, because you do have me but you also have many other people who care for you.”

Bucky closed his eyes and felt at peace for the first time in weeks; he had good people in his life and he wasn’t going to question it anymore.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #the winter soldier imagine #marvel #laura’s library

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