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The driving force of Clancy (album but also the guy) is "I was supposed to be better by now." You were supposed to grow up and be past this. You were supposed to be "normal." Isn't that what you always used to promise yourself? What everyone promised? That it would get better One Day? When is that day supposed to come? When you're 25? 35? Maybe everyone was wrong and it never comes. Maybe you will always feel like you're the worst you've ever been when a new depression episode hits. Maybe you will truthfully always be as suicidal as you were when you were 14, but now you just have more (practical) reasons not to do it. Maybe you never really recover from the trauma and it just grows and changes with you. Maybe you're always going to feel like you're a half step behind everyone else your age because you spent all your golden years locked alone in your bedroom wishing you could stop existing or at least become someone else. Maybe you will always feel like you're lying to everyone when you act like you're fine. Maybe they will always pity you. Maybe this time around they'll finally admit what you already suspect, that they're tired of you and tired of this, and they'll leave.

And the theme of Clancy is, actually, really, you have gotten better. Every time. Even if you can't see it yet. And they're all still waiting for you, like they always have before, and like they maybe always will. People want to see you at your worst because they love you. You just have to swim a little to get to them. You just have to look yourself in the face sometimes

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*pounding on a table* why is tyler so pretty bro it’s not even fucking funny

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Does a story die with its narrator?

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that's me

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“all we do is drive”

so i stopped on the side of the highway and took this. i was trying to take a picture of the moon but my camera is stupid.

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the tarot aces: [cups/water] fresh feelings + [wands/fire] burgeoning passions + [pentacles/earth] budding abundance + [swords/air] original concepts

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smoke stacks

11.21.24

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"𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖍𝖊𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖆"

Dimensions: 8.5 inches by 5.5 inches

Technique: Pointillism

Materials: Stylograph on paper

Date: June 2024

art by me ( 𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔲𝔰 𝔞𝔡𝔡𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔬 )

אשמדאי † גבריאל

@mothercain

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going to arizona ~

i cant wait to see everyone its been literally an entire year. 🥹

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“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety and fear.”

— Steve Maraboli

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