riacomverse-blog

[riacomverse-blog]

Roleplaying

My wife asked me the other day, when you play World of Warcraft, why do you roleplay?

The answer is simple escapism. There are so many fascinating story arcs that people can use. Most tend to focus on larger group/guild events. But I like to see more personal, complex arcs. For example, Jared Blackstone could be a retired fighter from Gilneas struggling to cope with PTSD from the horrors he has seen. Or Shanriel Jewelbrow could be searching for her long lost family after finding out she was adopted from an orphanage in Darnassus. See my point? So many different paths a story can go. Lighthearted or deep and dark, let your creativity go wild. It doesn't always have to be getting ready to fight the next enemy, Blizzard already do that through leveling your characters anyway, break away from that and you'll be surprised.

RP is also great to meet new and exciting people from around the world. Each role player has an idea of where to go with an arc, but understands that sometimes it can change. The more you do it, you get faster at coming up with new directions at the drop of a hat. Basic example could be, Drongar Greybeard could be wanting to join the Ironforge army but needs glasses to be able to see, maybe he finds another role, or he finds an engineer that can fashion a pair of tight fitting goggles that help him see. Arcs change, that's why they're called arcs.

So that's it really, RP offers so much creativity and escapism into a world where you feel you are more than just answering a phone or pushing files all day. It satisfies the fantasies of grandeur or new perspectives. If you've not tried it, or do already, see what stories you can make, but don't be surprised if it changes slightly. Sometimes the changes are better than you planned. Creativity is day release from the prison of life, rinse all you can from it and enjoy your contributions.

[riacomverse-blog]

Marriage and Relationships

So the title needs no introduction, but there are a few things that people tend to over look in all relationships.

For starters, we forget to appreciate the little things and we forget to do the little things. Now that doesn't mean go and buy a packet of m and ms for your significant other or a bunch of flowers. I mean the small things that don't cost a penny.

It's the making eye contact and giving a little smile, whether it's a smile that says I love you and you mean the world to me, or the cheekiest smile you can muster. A lot can be said in that smile and through your eyes. The saying "eyes are the windows to the soul" should be "eyes are windows to the heart". I am lucky in my marriage to be able to see the emotions my wife's eyes. Pain, love, the sparkle when she's happy. Bright lights when ( I'll admit that is a big when) I buy her a gift. It takes time to be able to figure these things out and none of us do this as much as we should nor do we ever truly learn everything from a single look, but the commitment to be able to learn her-or his - behaviour and see the reactions through the eyes is tricky but worth it.

With this though, the downside with a lot of men, and any that say otherwise are thicker than treacle, is that we do one of two things. We see it and ignore it/ under appreciate it, or we miss it because we aren't looking as we should. On the other hand, women have their faults too. They see this and because they get wrapped up in their own issues or thoughts, they forget that men can be sensitive and have emotions and struggles too. It's no one's fault its just something that's happens. What makes you a better person is understanding that fact and making the effort to look. Not always easy in a world where humans are lazy.

Other things that should be done are just meaningful moments of contact. A hug from behind to calm them down when upset or stressed out. A kiss to the forehead. Even pausing the TV, or putting your phone down (we know... Its hard) and having a cuddle and a quick chat about your day, or something random- like who was better, Tom or Jerry. There are selfish reasons for this, if you do it now, you want to feel that connection so will make the effort to do so, but depending on personal circumstances, you know that they may need it too.

For those with their mind in the gutter, you might say, my partner is a horny toad, what do I do then? Well, it's simple, do it. Do what they want but know to compromise on each others likes- just as a side note, you can say no, and no AWAYS means no. You won't always want to go 100mph, so slow it down. Do other things, with your hands, mouth, or if your that way inclined, other items. There is nothing wrong with exploring each other to keep it exciting and maintain that connection. In a world where everything is rushed, why not slow down and open yourself to different things?

Small things do matter but bigger things make an impact too. Just because your married or settled into the relationship, why stop trying to impress? Wear that scent they really like. Go out on date night. Buy her jewellery. Extravagance doesn't always have to be expensive either, trying making things yourself or buy cheap, quality items and buy a couple of different ones. For one idea, there are many "survival kits" on the Internet that have everyday items in with a card that explains their meaning.

Candle- because you light my world

Paperclip- to help us stay together

They're corny but romantic. With handmade trying engraving something wooden for the rustic look or writing a poem. Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT take a pair of scissors to their underwear. Do you respect them or see them as a toy for your own pleasure? (If that answer is yes, put your head in a hydraulic press so we can test your brain, cos it can only be made of rock)

In my experience and I have fallen foul to this myself. What anyone in any kind of relationship, even if your not in one, should never do is think that the movies or songs give an accurate representation of what love is, what a relationship is. They're fucking hard work. You are NOT the sweet person you think you are. There is going to be something that you thought was endearing that will irritate the shit of your partner. Just like your ideas and ideals will clash. It happens and it's wrong to think that it doesn't. The beauty of a relationship and a true sign of your strength is taking those clashes and compromising--agree to disagree works too. She likes Disney and fancy restaurants and you like action and a pub with atmosphere. Meet in the middle... Watch an action Disney (e.g Mulan) or try a Disney then an action. Unfortunately venues for dinner are harder to compromise on, so go somewhere completely different and expand your horizons together.

With the clashes though, they can lead to intense arguments and fights. Fine, everyone fights about something, little or often, its human nature. Again, compromise. NEVER go to bed on a heated word or argument, if you have to argue all night to make up, do it! An understable reason and an extreme reason is that

1) Unfinished arguments can lead to further fights, resentment and the end of your relationship

2) The downside to life, is that we are all on borrowed time. How would you feel if your other half didn't wake up the next morning? How would they feel if you didn't? Imagine the emotional pain of thinking that your other half died thinking you hated them? Don't risk it.

You fight because your passionate. The fights can get intense because your equals and, unconsciously, you enjoy the challenge of fighting for victory.

So basically, there are 3 more things I see a relationship needs to succeed other than love. Commitment, effort and compromise. Its not easy, no mature person ever said it was easy, but relationships need to be worked at and they are the most beautiful thing. I am happy with my wife, she's amazing and puts up with so much from me. I'm certainly not easy to live with, but I know my faults and I do try to make it easier for her, not always granted, but I do try to. Love is our strength. Maintain it and it will maintain you.