rawtruth-dare

[rawtruth-dare]

My Past Could Help Your Future

I am starting to blog and shit do I have a lot to say. If my life and mistakes can change one persons life or help one soul then I’m doing what the universe is pushing me towards. I am a great person and have just had terrible things happen and even worse when I really have it my all my whole heart and soul I was hurt more then ever. Our world is a mess and our systems are broken but the only way one can hope for change is to speak up and spend time telling your story because my experiences could change your outcome and yours could change mine. Once I went public with my story after being silent for to long I received so many messages from people thanking me for sharing my story. I want to blog I want to write a book and I want to be on every social media platform that’s possible to not only help others but so my daughters can one day read and know I’m speaking my truth from my heart and I never gave up. As parents we all want better for our kids and want to give them everything and sometimes things get in the way of that but it doesn’t make you less of a parent. I messed up so bad in life because I was so messed up from my childhood trauma and I tried everything to be a good mom and to be there for everything the PTA mom always involved. I was and I loved my kids so much and they knew it I did everything for them. They always had what they needed and they always had fun and I never wanted them to know when I was hurting. I spent so much time trying to be the perfect parent for them i lost sight of where I was going in life. I never wanted to depend on a man and have to feel like everything was there’s and that my girls and I existed in someone else’s world not our own. I wanted to show them independence and to stay smart and to work hard and to be kind. All the best things that they are. Losing a loved one is painful but losing the loves of your life and they are still out there living and you can’t see them or talk to them. It’s not even human nature it’s not the way they are supposed to be raised it’s slowly taking who they were away and making them something that I never imagined. So not dealing with my trauma has now caused them their own. Such a sick twist of fate. I’m not ever going to say that I’m perfect but I did not deserve to have my kids taken and they didn’t deserve to have their mom taken and not see their siblings. The courts, people who dislike you, ex husband, ex wife and even your own family have way to much power taking kids away from their parents. My kids were traumatized after all of this and now live with the person who traumatized me and that was my worst fear. They didn’t spend more then a short weekend away from me and I worked so hard to get them back home after they were taken. This isn’t your usual situation where I’m poor me I lost my kids and did nothing wrong but I DID NOT have any rights in those court rooms and every specialist or teacher or counselor said they could see how to loved my kids and I had my inner most trusted person working against me the whole time and I was just to blind to see it because I thought for once she was proud of me and she loved me and I was finally one of her daughters. I was so wrong. The system in place to help protect kids and I believe in that. I did nothing to have them stripped from me to not see again until they are adopted or 18 years old. I lost the most important thing to me, the loves of my life and the reason I got up and wanted more and better. So now all I can do is just move on and hope that they are ok. I will write my truth and I will never give up. I know this is happening to more so reach out to m. Share your thoughts or stories m making sure my daughters know the truth and that they can be better and have a voice. I believe that our bonds are strong enough to be under the same moon and feel safe knowing that someone is out there loving them and fighting for them. So how ever I try to get my story out I will enjoy the people I can help, the advice I can give, an ear to listen