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my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m
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our spanish teacher was making us describe pictures of lots of weird objects in class and she put this pic on the slide
a girl wrote "es para mike wazowski" and the chat went insane
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there’s nothing to explain, “vermillion” absolutely is a green word
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A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her front pocket and thinks:
Some asshole has my pen
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& BTW I am so charming and handsome and immune to most forms of damage
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yall with your ugly celeb man crushes
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i hope chris pratt’s mario impersonation offends so many italian americans that he gets put on a mob hit list
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IMAX UPLOADED THE MUMMY TRAILER WITH HALF THE AUDIO CHANNELS MISSING AND CREATED 40 SECONDS OF UNDILUTED COMEDIC PERFECTION
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