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princessdavianah · 6 years ago

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Updated Library For Kinksters

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

Topping from the bottom

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princessdavianah · 7 years ago

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Through this guide, and all other BDSM related guides, I’m going to be extremely candid, honest and potentially vulgar, because I’m just talking, which means chances are I’ll swear a lot. I’m not trying to be professional, I’m trying to be educational. This isn’t a guide for writing or roleplaying, this is a BDSM guide - and you can use it to help improve your writing of a character involved in the BDSM community, but regardless.

Keeping in mind, that BDSM relationships are very flexible, and what doesn’t work for one person, might work for another. So any of my personal stories or opinions are completely optional. However, there are things through the BDSM community that absolutely SHOULD be standard, and absolutely SHOULD be mandatory.

If you have questions or comments, my askbox is always open.

I get really ranty and shit here, because I’m extremely passionate about the stuff to come.

We’re going to keep in mind that: DD/lg, DD/bg, MD/lg, MD/bg, DD/lb, DD/bb, MD/lb, MD/lb - are all, essentially the same relationship wise, and I respect each and every pairing, but through the guide, my examples and my wording will be with DD/lg or DD/lb - because it’s what I personally relate to. If this is offensive at all, sorry not sorry, because I’m a guy, I’m a Dom, I’m not a female, so I’m not going to go into the female side. I’m sure people can replace the mental imagery of cock with a vagina. Alright, moving on.

Terminology! The fun part!

Age Play Age play is exactly that - playing an age other than your own. So, if you’re a twenty year old, cognitively choosing to play at a 17 year old, that is age play. You might not identify with this age, though, you might not be saying ‘yeah, I’m being seven’ or ‘I’m being fifteen’ - but you could be acting that age. Age play is usually sexual - and should not be judged. If someone of age is choosing to age play as a ten year old, that’s their choice, and it’s not anyones place to bash them for it.

Age Regression Age regression is a little different than age play. Some people see them as the same - but realistically, they are not. Age play is cognitively choosing and age, and playing it. Age regression is literally regressing to a younger state. Age regression isn’t always something someone WANTS to do. Age regression is generally linked with little space. In some cases, age regression is regarded as a mental disability, because it can (and often is) brought on by stressful environments and inhibits people from holding jobs and living a “normal" lifestyle.

Little Space Realistically, there are two types of little space. Age play little space - where you choose to pull yourself into a younger mindset, and need to waive the responsibilities of the day to day, that might mean you lay around and color, or you just watch kids movies. There’s regressive little space - which personally, I think should be absolutely non-sexual, because it can be damaging, as your little is usually really in the mindset of the age they’re portraying. Little space is different for everyone, it’s about what makes the little comfortable - not about you as a Dominant. As a Dominant, though, you need to be there, completely and fully while your submissive is in little space. Abandonment is not okay.

The DD of DD/lg is Daddy Dom. MD is Mommy Domme. LG is little girl. BG is babygirl. LB is little boy and BB is babyboy. Yes, yes there are differences. HOWEVER, sometimes it all just comes down to what you prefer to be called. So you can be a little, but want to be called babygirl, you know? These are just a way to categorize the different types of submissives that are generally interested in DD/MD types. So, if you identify with the Nymphet, but you want to be called babygirl - that’s completely okay, because it’s about what makes you, as the submissive, happy and comfortable.

Submissive types.

Little Alright this is a range. Because in most cases, little’s are more age regression than age play. A lot of times it sticks to the younger sides of things 5-10, but there is no standard, it’s from person to person. If you regress to fifteen, and you identify as a little, you’re not wrong, you’re just you.

Babygirl/Babyboy Again a huge rage, because it’s about what you want as a submissive. This is more the age play than regression - but, some babygirls don’t identify as an age other than their own; but they enjoy coloring, they enjoy the more “childish" things. Playing with dolls, dressup, enjoying kids movies - often things associated with both littles and babygirls.

Nymphets/Lolitas/Middles A lot of times, this range is from about 12-16. Usually this type exists because they’ve romanticized the novel Lolita - or, because they simply identify with a per-pubescent age/teenager. In most cases; not all, someone on this rage is more sexually driven, rather than being interested in coloring and playing with blocks.

AB/DL Adult baby / Diaper Lover. As an adult baby, you do not HAVE to enjoy diapers. These are obviously the youngest on the little spectrum. Most AB/DLs enjoy very young play 1-3 has been the most common that I’ve seen; having bottles, onsies, pacifiers, playtime, nap time and so forth; a lot of these things can be found amongst the littles and the babygirls/boys too, but it’s more intense when it comes to AB/DL. They enjoy being treated as babies, they enjoy baby talk; usually, AB/DL is non sexual during babytime. But that’s not always the case, it depends on the submissive.

Mommy and Daddy Doms. Are. Not. Pedophiles. Are. Not. Incestuous. YES, in some cases, they might be a fucking pedophile, but hey, your mailman might be a god damn pedophile. As a Daddy, we do not want to fuck ten year olds. We want innocence, playfulness, an adorable little boy (or girl) to crawl up on our lap, curl into a ball, and need us to hold them.

We set structure, and rules. We might be a fatherly figure, but we are not FATHERS to our littles; though, some people do enjoy incest play, and that’s their choice, you should not bash them for it, and you should not assume that because SOME enjoy it, we ALL want it.

Daddy and Mommy - those are special titles, something that you call the person you fucking cherish; because they protect you, because they guide you, because they hold you and scare off the monsters.

Because we, as children, were taught that our mommies and daddies were invincible, that they would protect us from evil and keep us safe. That they would feed us, and dress us, teach us right from wrong, guide us lovingly, but firmly.

So, as a grown up, some people still crave that relationship - they crave to be held in the arms of a man they know can chase off the demons. One they KNOW will give them rules, and enforce them.

Mommy and Daddy - those titles are earned, because you’re a protector, not because you want to have sex with your spawn, or because your children want to be with you in that fashion.

In a lot of cases, Mommies and Daddies are more caring and affectionate than a Master would be. Cuddles are what we were made for, snuggling and love; curling up on the couch, watching a kids movie, playing with our little babes. Building forts, having fun - DD/lb/g relationships are mostly about that - having fun, and feeling safe. Sure there is sex involved, and yes it’s fucking amazing. You can be kinky as you want in bed - that goes back to my first post about ‘what works for one’ and so forth. It’s pick and choose, there’s not specific /type/ of sex that happens in a DD/bg relationship. It’s not ALL about sex, just like with any BDSM relationship, there’s so much more.

Daddy Doms should be strong, not physically, but mentally sound. Strong enough to make rules for their little monsters, and chase away the scary ones. Strong enough to hold your little girls head high when she can’t do it herself, because the world is fucked up. Set rules that help shape your little prince/ss, enforce them when they fuck up, but tell them you love them, and you know they’re trying.

It is your responsibility, as a Daddy, to be the rock that your baby needs when the world is pushing her too hard. You need to be the hand that sets her sights to the sky, so she knows there is no fucking limit to what she can do. You, as a Daddy shouldn’t do everything for your girl, but you should give her everything she needs to do anything.

Hold her when she cries, tickle her to tears, make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world - because to you, she is.

As a Daddy, your goal isn’t to just fuck some innocent little thing. Your goal is to protect some sweet little sundrop; and if you’re lucky, he’ll love you as much as you love him. Give endlessly, and only take what your baby gives you - never break off pieces they need, don’t push your power, because you have none without your little. Don’t abuse them, because god knows they break like porcelain. No matter how tough that little thing might act, they have feelings as fucking delicate as glass. Just like you do; admit it or not, watching tears on those cheeks fucking wrecks your heart.

In the end, a Daddy Dom / Little boy - or otherwise relationship is give and take, like with anything BDSM or relationships in general. I won’t cover punishments, because it’s anything from spanking to time out. I can’t dictate what you do with your submissive, or what you do as a human. You need to make these rules with your little, and you need to stick to them.

Consistency, care, and honesty. Big parts of a DD/lb and otherwise relationship.

She is not your property, nor will she ever be - she will be your love, your heart, your spirit. She will be the heart that beats in your chest and the air you breathe; but she will not be yours, until she says so. She is not yours to touch, unless she craves your fingers against her flesh, your lips at the crook of her neck, your arms wrapping around her and keeping her close. You do not command her, now or ever - you do not have power over her; she holds power over you, and don’t ever forget that. She can take it if she pleases, or if you don’t please her. She is delicate, her skin is thin as paper, and her heart shatters as easy as glass; abuse her, and she will break. She, your little girl, is your world - for you, her dominant, are nothing but a lonely man wandering without direction, until you find your way to her.

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