playingwiththeunknown

[playingwiththeunknown]

I recently visited the Legare mausoleum where a Julia Legare was buried alive on Edisto island in SC. It's said she succumbed to an illness that made her appear as if she was dead. But after being entombed she woke up, and finding herself trapped in the mausoleum, tried to escape to no avail. Several years later they opened the family tomb to bury her brother only to find her corpse right at the door. Scratches were found on the door where she tried to escape. Over the years the church had problems with the mausoleum door coming open no matter what they did to keep it closed so in the end they decided to remove the door so that her spirit could finally be free.

While standing before the door of the mausoleum I felt a sense of heaviness. You could feel the sadness in the air.

[playingwiththeunknown]

Dream interpretation

I had a dream where I received a bunch of free shoes. I picked the largest pair of shoes out of them all and shoved my feet right in and said "I'll take them" even though I knew they were too big. My mom stopped me and held up another pair of shoes and said "these shoes look your size, and they even have support in them" but I'd already picked these ones and put my feet in them. I didn't want to change shoes now. So I ignored her and went about my day in these massive shoes. They were heavy and awkward and at one point my toes completely busted out the side of one when I slipped because my toes were only at the sides and not at the toe.

The message was pretty clear to me. I'm trying so hard to be something I'm not and it's making my life much harder than it has to be. You can't find happiness in a pair of shoes that just weigh you down. It made me think of the expression "If the shoe fits." Or of "taking a walk in someone else's shoes" I'm thinking it's about my career. When I changed my major in college to teaching my mom warned me that it would be difficult and I wouldn't make a lot of money. But I didn't listen. Today they sent us all letters of intent. And this time every year I hesitate to sign because I know this isn't what I want to be doing but I can't find the pair of shoes that fit me. My job has taken a serious toll on my health and mental health and I want out while I'm still alive.

[playingwiththeunknown]

First dream of the year

I didn't brew my tea strong enough. My friend and I were trying to go on a trip but stuff kept delaying us. My friend discovered he has a niece he needed to take care of. My mom and I went to check on my brother but the house was empty with the air still on. I was suddenly on the titanic with a few other people from modern times but instead of warning people we bundled up and got near one of the lifeboats and got ready to save ourselves.

I'm worried that the dream about my brothers house being empty indicates something bad may happen to him. I'm wondering why it was me and mom that were wandering around the house. It wasn't even the house he lives in now but I knew it was his house.

My friend is in a legal battle with his uncle so maybe the dream of inheriting the niece is about him getting all his uncles stuff. I wonder if his uncle has a will or anything. Him and his uncle are currently fighting over his grandparents stuff since they passed away from covid.

Its looking like I need to let a lot of people and things go. And I believe this. I wish I had dreams about more positive things.

[playingwiththeunknown]

I tried goofing off with these and kept getting them all wrong (thanks lack of intuition) and then I asked if any spirits would like to play to. I'd hold up the card for a few seconds facing away from me with my eyes closed so I couldn't see it and then lay the card face down before letting the spirit spell out what it was. We got it right 5 times in a row. They called the waves "squiggles" but I still counted it.

[playingwiththeunknown]

I wish I'd taken pictures of the charm reading I gave myself a few days ago. It was before the palm reading. So while I was listening to the palm reading some of the things she said were things I'd seen in my own charm reading. I remember it talked about a relationship coming in. There was a wedding ring (I'm not sure how I feel about that). There was travel. Something big was coming in 5 months. I can't remember much else.

Now onto the reading I gave myself tonight on the full moon: 10/9/22

I did this earlier and when I was scratching my head trying to remember the reading from the other day I decided I needed to go ahead and document it.

I see that I need to listen to advice coming from my ancestors, living and otherwise. I see the relationship charm so the advice is probably about the relationship. Theres some conflict involved in the whole thing so I asked for clarification and drew some more charms. A lot of the conflict is going to come from me. But I need to have faith in myself and I will be rewarded. In a years time I could possibly overcome a big hurdle in my life if I listen and have faith.

I'm about to be super busy (no shocker there since I'm taking some courses and going through the recertification process to keep my teaching license) and I'll have to fight tooth and nail to come out of my cage and just live.

That whole top left portion is about my hobbies. The dreamer charm is being covered with all these other charms. I need to grip my dreams tightly in my claws and fight for them. There will be a lot of talk about it but by the next cycle, I'll be surprised by how far I've come. I asked if "A" was someone's initial and they were like "no, it's a grade." So I want an A. Even though that has nothing to do with what I'm working on.

[playingwiththeunknown]

I got my palms read. 10/8/22

She said I'm coming out of a stressful cycle. I'm opening up. I'm ready to start looking for love. She sees me potentially getting married in the next 2 years. She said I may have up to 2 children but to make sure I have them by 42. She said she can see that I'm a writer when the mood strikes me. I'm intuitive. She gave me some tips for writing. She said to just get it done then worry about editing later. The best way to edit is to print jt all out and have a text to talk read it aloud to me while I follow along and mark what i want to fix. She said to try naniwrimo. She also said to keep coworkers and students outside my bubble and only allow family and close friends to be inside my bubble. I'm ready to meet new people. Look up events near me. She also said I'd learn a language.

Edit: I just remembered she said I'd be a teacher for a good while longer.

[playingwiththeunknown]

Dream: 12/14/21

I dreamt that I'd been stuck in a place frozen in time and I finally got free. A witch had put that spell on me among other things so I took 3 pennies and gave them to her and each time I gave her a penny I said "I bind the magick you've placed on me." And I was free.

[playingwiththeunknown]

Bone reading:

I need to clean out something. I need to speak my truth around my family.

I have a friend that might be betraying me and I may have outgrown them.

I need to learn to trust myself and my abilities instead of having so much self doubt.

I will have several opportunities present themselves.

I need to focus on self care and make room for fun. Quit being so serious.

[playingwiththeunknown]

First dream of the year 2022:

I dreamt I was back at work and this kid came up to me and was like just trying to tell me something and I couldn't understand them but one of my coworkers came up and immediately knew what was wrong and took their hand and went to go help them. And I felt so bad because I couldn't understand from body language what was wrong with the child. I've suspected for a while that I'm on the autism spectrum so this could have something to do with that. And while I was at work I was also picking up the leftover posters and worksheets that old coworkers had and picking through them for which ones I wanted. And the whole time I kept thinking "I don't need all this clutter." But I still kept grasping at what my coworkers were doing. And trying to copy them. Which I kind of do in real life and I also think is me trying to mask by copying what others are doing.

I also dreamt that my friend and I were at the park and I checked my bike into this thing that was like a coat check but for your bike. And then we forgot about my bike. So we spent the whole rest of the dream worrying about going back and getting my bike. Also something odd I noticed is another person's name at the bicycle sign in thing was that it was my last name spelled three different ways. Like the guys first, middle, and last name was my last name but spelled in 3 different ways. My last name can be used as a guy's name although it isn't common. I feel like it was meant to signify like an angel number so I'd pay attention. I was doing something important.

I looked up the meaning of bikes in dreams:

Bikes symbolize balance and making a journey forward in life. When you lose the bike in your dream it could mean that you feel out of control and like you have no balance and that you aren't moving forward. Losing a bicycle can also mean you are losing time and money. You feel like you are losing opportunities to move forward in life.

Accurate af to how I'm feeling.

[playingwiththeunknown]

I had several nightmares about spiders attacking me and according to the internet dreams about spiders attacking means there's someone out to get you, specifically a woman. And now I'm sitting here thinking about which coworker is gunning for me. That dream was so scary it woke me up.

[playingwiththeunknown]

Reading my cards under the full moon in a walmart parking lot 😂

Its pretty much about my summer. Drifting apart from friends, reconnecting with friends. Dreaming and trying to obtain my goals. Having opportunities to travel. Having to make a choice. A big choice. Staying strong. Good things but hard too.

I dont post every reading I ever give myself btw. Only the ones I want to come back and read again to see if they came true. Or to remind myself of things.

[playingwiththeunknown]

Reading my cards under the full moon in a walmart parking lot 😂

Its pretty much about my summer. Drifting apart from friends, reconnecting with friends. Dreaming and trying to obtain my goals. Having opportunities to travel. Having to make a choice. A big choice. Staying strong. Good things but hard too.

I dont post every reading I ever give myself btw. Only the ones I want to come back and read again to see if they came true. Or to remind myself of things.

[playingwiththeunknown]

TW: SA and child molestation

I recently got The Alleymans Tarot and I really like it. It's a hodgepodge of different tarot and oracle decks in one box. All from different artists.

I was kind of tripped out by the cards that flew out this morning. I was thinking about how someone who molested me when I was child sent me a letter from prison last week. I've never told my parents what he did to me. He's in prison for arson and murder. He's supposed to get out next year and in his letter he wrote about how he's been in love with me since I was 7. And he still loves me and wants to date me when he gets out. I'm absolutely horrified.

I think this reading is telling me that I need to tell my parents about the letter and open up about what happened. I need to communicate. The second card is about shattered perceptions of yourself. Like when you look in a mirror it can be a warped reality. Things aren't how I think they are and my parents aren't going to thing I'm gross or bad. They'll be mad at him. I'm not gross or bad. The last card is about addressing your wounds before you gain more wounds. If I don't work through this and heal I'm only going to continue to cause myself pain and not be able to move forward.

I also noticed how the cards are all in shades of pinks and purples. And how, at least the first two, are really cute and feminine. Most of the time I wear baggy ugly clothes and don't put any effort into my appearance because I don't want anyone to notice me so I can't get hurt. Sometimes, like when I'm going to be with friends, I will put in the effort. But I rarely do it when I'm going to be alone. Pink tends to represent love, especially self love. Purple has a whole range of meanings from royalty to mysticism. I just think I'm being told it's time to come clean and to start healing. I'm just so scared that my parents perception of me is going to change and suddenly they'll think lesser of me. (Which goes back to that middle card. Perceptions being broken) And I'm really scared this is going to cause a lot of drama and his family will harass me. I'm scared everyone is going to blame me. Like I should have kept my mouth shut. Once I open up and tell everything, I can't take it back.

I honestly got the chills when the first card came out because I was trying to do just a simple card of the day but that letter flashed in my mind.

[playingwiththeunknown]

My 2022 predictions:

There's already conflict and a teacher shortage going on in education but I see the federal government stepping in to try to do something about it. Idk if it'll be for better or worse. There will be a remarkable increase in divorces this year. That one might be for my family or people I know. The birth shortage will continue. California will have a make over. I'm not sure what that means but I specifically heard it worded like that. There will be a trend and rise in single culture. A lot of wealth will move down from the boomer generation as more of them pass from covid. Kind of a no duh. A war will start for natural resources. As travel bans lift There will be a lot more people traveling internationally. Some people will finally be able to go home that have been stuck. There will be groups of Native Americans who will move their people to a better place. Child deaths will increase.

Q&A with my guides

What will hurricane season be like?

It will be average. A few major storms but no more than most years.

Will the pandemic end this year?

No. It will continue for 3 more years

Should I get the booster?

Yes.

Will the economy get better?

The economy will crash. Take your money and invest it into old money.

What is old money?

Invest in their companies. They will not fail.

Will student loans be canceled soon?

No and yes. Only some of the loans will be canceled.

Will the United States collapse as a country this year?

No.

Will it fall soon?

No

Will the government drastically change?

No

What do people need to know for 2022?

Don't move too quickly. Things will be uncertain at the beginning of the year for the housing market. Hide your medicine. (I asked why) things will be bad. (I'm assuming they mean to stash away extra medicine because there could be shortages) Look for signs of Gold. The color gold brings luck this year. There will continue to be bad food recalls. Grow your own food. There will be many shortages.

Any big disasters?

There will be a bad disaster with the boats that bring things. They will all fall down. (I'm picturing a harbor where it's overcrowded and there like a big accident that causes the supply ships to sink.) The volcano will erupt. It will cause many problems. The reef will nearly go extinct. The mountain will rock and shake.

And thats all I got for now. I may do another one later.

[playingwiththeunknown]

Just Ask

So I lost one of my favorite rings over a week ago and I've been looking for it. Today I badly wanted to wear it so I tore my room apart looking for it. I couldn't find it for nothing. So I gave up and went out. Well after I later took a nap I got the bright idea to ask for help. I said:

"Hey spirits, can yall help me find my moon ring?"

And no sooner did I finish that my eyes whipped over to my bed and my left hand shot out and picked up a shoe that was sitting under the bed. And there it was. My ring.

After a week of searching I found it in 5 seconds after asking for help.

[playingwiththeunknown]

I'm tempted to leave my job and go off and do something else so I asked my guides.

What if I stayed another year?

Isolation from others. Conflict. Which is like no duh. I got the clear quartz in both of these which I see as healing and a general improvement. I see me feeling caged or trapped. Again no duh. I need to keep faith. I'm really thinking of delving deeper into deity worship. I'll have to stay strong and persevere. I'll make decent money. I'll have to have faith and believe in myself. Improve my own self confidence. Break out of my own shell and grow into my own. Theres a prize at the end. The reward will be worth it. Im going to be an aunt?? I've been hearing that for over a year.

What will happen if I quit and go try to find a new job?

Once again the clear quartz. So healing. Theres a ton of conflict here. Like all over the place. Having to fight tooth and nail. Something medical will happen. Like an injury or an illness. Me turning to drinking. Having to work my ass off and be busy as hell. There is some love in here. I'll meet some new friends. Being weighed down by burdens. Somehow the government is involved. Perhaps I get a government job or something.

I also did this spell

I was visited by Hekate and pretty much told to bide my time for another year. Plan it out all carefully instead of just running now.

No matter what I decide I'm going to suffer. I wish I knew what I wanted. I'm approaching my Saturn return and I feel like I'm at a big turning point in my life. I'm scared mostly.

[playingwiththeunknown]

Its time for my yearly megareadings. This one is for the major themes in my life this year

1. To me it feels like looking forward into the future. Looking up positively. According to my booklet it can also mean teamwork and travel. Kinda weird for this card but okay.

2. I'll be making a big decision about my life this year. Personally I believe it has to do with whether or not to go back to school. The pandemic stopped me from going back but I still kinda want to.

3. I think I'll be following someone. Like shaping my life to line up with theirs. Also I still think i want to be a teacher but not where I am.

4. I'll put more focus on family and community. I'll meet members of my soul family this year.

5. I'll be hoarding things. Hopefully good things. I wanted this year to be the year of letting go. Maybe I'll hoard riches.

6. I'll have new passions. Which I'm looking forward to.

Some of this is kind of confusing. Im seeing a lot of love this year. I also seeing me feeling trapped or held down by my fear of commitment to relationships. Im going to make a big change in appearance. Tradition is going to hold me back from a relationship. Im thinking it'll be someone unconventional. There will be a little bit of travel. There will be a lot of good times. I'll be busy for sure. I'll be full of mischief. I'll meet some of the people who will one day be in my wedding. I'll become more religious this year. I'll have many blessings. Its looking like a pretty good year i guess