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the way that i feel about him

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oh im gonna be weird about this for so long

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mutuals do this

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lemon is so so so fucking good in sweet food and savory food and spicy food and salty food and drinks. she has it all

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ooh!! i have a theory! (tl;dr at the end)

i bet this is correlational research. what do i mean by “correctional research”? i bet they found that people who eat more dairy products tend to recover (instead of dying) in situations that typically kill people (like car crashes, cancer, etc.). that’s what a correlation tells us: we tend to see these things together. a person who eats dairy products is likely to be a person who recovers from potentially fatal situations

what’s one of the biggest lessons in basic statistics? CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION. in other words, my guess is that this research didn’t find that eating dairy products CAUSES immunity to death. to be able to test a claim like that, we would probably want to do some sort of experiment, and ideally a “randomized control trial”: let’s take a big group of people, randomly sort them into two groups, and make one group eat a bunch of dairy products while the other doesn’t eat any (and that’s the ONLY consistent difference between the two groups — that one eats dairy products and the other doesn’t). then, if the group who we made eat a bunch of dairy products seems to live forever, while the group that didn’t eat a bunch of dairy products seems to die a lot, we might have pretty good evidence that eating dairy products will help you to not die! i don’t think that’s what these researchers did. mostly because it’s really hard to pull off a randomized control trial. especially when it comes to food

so, if this is correlational research, what does it ACTUALLY tell us? the finding that “people who eat dairy products also tend not to die as easily” isn’t actually very informative if the dairy products aren’t CAUSING the harder-to-die thing.

my theory: there’s a confounding variable here! a confounding variable is some other factor that causes the two things that we’ve noticed are correlated. the people who tend to eat dairy products and tend to die less easily probably have something else in common that’s causing both their dairy consumption and their hardiness

what’s that third thing? i bet it’s whiteness! in general, lactose intolerance (dairy products —> tummy hurty) is most common among people of non-european descent. in other words, people considered “white” in the united states (where i assume this research was done) are less likely to fuck up their digestive systems by eating cheese, so they’re probably eating way more dairy than people considered “non-white” in the united states. coincidentally, racism also tends to make the lives of people considered “non-white” way harder and more dangerous, which is a recipe for higher death rates

tl;dr while this research may seem like it’s about the life-saving properties of cow’s milk, i think it’s actually telling us about the life-ending properties of white supremacy. why? white people prob eat more dairy (because of less lactose intolerance), and white people prob die less easily (because they don’t live in a system actively working against them at every opportunity)

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Handful of Trail Mix is your one stop solution to not passing out at 4pm. surely you cannot go wrong with Handful of Trail Mix when cooking or even using the microwave is unthinkable. handful of trail mix contains protein, carbohydrates, salt, fiber, sugar, and fat for all possible situations and challenges. handful of trail mix always tastes "okay". you are hiking your own Appalachian trail every day forgetting stuff in the other room eighty times before you can switch tasks why not try Handful of Trail Mix today and avoid breaking down your own muscle tissue for energy for another few hours

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an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen

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had a dream I went to a hozier concert and mr. hozier stopped singing and pointed to me in the crowd and asked me to go get him some extra crispy tofu and a blueberry shake for after the show and then the crowd passed his debit card to me and when I got it I could see his real legal name was Horace Bob-omb

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“Memory and Delusion” by Shirley Jackson

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a kitty!

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Guy whose wife comes out to him as a lesbian and he just sighs and starts googling ‘estrogen near me’

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honestly some of y’all want a significant other so badly and can’t understand why you can’t find one, but have no sense of boundaries or healthy expectations of what a relationship is like. in a committed long-term partnership you get left on read, you wait for texts back, and you can forget about each other when you’re busy. sometimes you fall asleep without saying goodnight and sometimes you’re too caught up to text each other before 6pm. that’s how it is. thinking that you can’t be deeply, beautifully in love and still wait more than “1.75 hours” for a text back is such an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of what love is, and you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t allow the other person to exist on their own apart from you. if you’re projecting your anxieties and insecurities onto a partner who doesn’t even exist yet, then you aren’t ready for one.

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My other car is a rainbow trout

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went to an art exhibition and the artist was drawing a self-portrait dressed up as a dog and i wish this was my job so fucking bad

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"Centipedes don't fuck" is one of my favorite animal facts. There are plenty of sexually reproducing animals that don't fuck per se (like a lot of fish) but centipedes don't even meet. Males just leave sperm packets lying on the fucking ground and females pick them up and take them home. They don't even hang out