paasrin

[paasrin]

“my daughter is completely fine!”

ma’am your daughter has to read fanfics about fictional characters just to maintain a healthy mental state

[paasrin]

Dick: “Hey, Jason—Where did all this money come from?”

Jason: “From B.”

Dick: “He gave it to you? For what? Did you blackmail him?”

Jason: “No, he paid me, in exchange for very important pictures.”

Dick: “Oh, you got evidence for the case?”

Jason: “No, Damian’s baby pictures.”

Dick: “…How much?”

[paasrin]

The fellowships are playing game

Gandalf: Now, describe Aragorn in just one word.

Frodo: Loyal

Sam: Brave

Merry: Serious

Pippin: Handsome

Boromir: Regal

Gimli: Trustworthy

Legolas: Mine

Aragorn: ...

Aragorn: What he said.

Everyone else: ...

[paasrin]

Bitches are able to read hardcore bdsm porn fanfiction with a straight face but start to grin and squeak like an idiot as soon there is the smallest fluff.

That’s me, I’m bitches.

[paasrin]

SANTA TELL ME [pt. 1]

@ofduskanddreams I was so excited when I knew that I was gonna write for you, like really excited. I'm sorry I got a bit late but I hope you really, really like it.

This is the first part of a multi chapter fanfic and I hope that you really enjoyed it.

Warnings: English is not my native language so I'm sorry for any possible spelling mistakes.

Azriel didn't expected his life to be like this when he was a child.

Well, maybe it did, but definitely did not expect to be a courtier in his work just to make alliances. He, as a matter of fact, was a better courtier than his brother was, he loved Cassian, but he was an asshole and sucked in all the aspects of the work it has to be done.

He was okay with being a spy, with interrogating and murdering people, well, not okay with it, but he learned that it was for the better for the Court and did know his job was relevant and it had to be done. Sometimes he thinks of it and doesn't know what to do with his life if it wasn't for the job he has been doing for the past five hundred years.

But having to work even in the holidays. He was maybe not a big fan of the rumbling and the stupidity of all the things he had to endure during solstice, but was one of the only holidays he had, and maybe was a little angry with Rhys for accepting in his name to go a week into the Winter Court to see the holidays there and make a treaty between the Winter and Night Court, but it did pissed him off.

He was expected to accept it since Mor was back from the fucking Continent and Amren wouldn't go, and his brothers and his mates were obviously out of question being the first solstice as a pair for Cassian and Nesta and being the first solstice of Nyx, so he was the better option. Well, the only option available, cause Elain was out of question again.

Between the three of the brothers he was the most patient one, since his life consisted in waiting and waiting for his job to be done, but he was done waiting and wanted to scream to Rhys for the fuck he happened to be the solstice.

That he could join them for the night after solstice for the annual snowball fight, and definitely he would make them pay for this, cause Cassian agreed it was a good idea to make it happen.

But tonight he did not have any patient, so when he throws the glass he has on his hand to the wall it shatters in many pieces, oh how he wanted it to be one of his brothers, he was fuming.

And nobody could do anything about it, not now that the answer had been sent to the Winter Court.

He needed something to calm down, or it will be a very long week. Seven days, he had to survive in the Winter Court for seven days before he could wipe that attitude off Rhys's and Cassian's face with the floor.

Oh how he hated them in this fucking moment.

He hated not being in control, he was a fucking control freak, how could he not when all his choices where out of his hands for all his childhood and early adulthood, even now he hand not all the control in his fucking life. He adored his family, he really did, but not now, not when they make decisions for him without even noticing until the night before he had to go.

Oh he would not go unnoticed. He had a clear idea of what to do hen he arrived, but definitely he would destroy Cassian and Rhys in the annual snowball fight, he had won many before and would won many after this one. He outnumbered the other two of them, not even adding up his victories did they compare to Azriel's.

He didn't tried to sleep, it was useless, he knew he couldn't sleep in this fucking situation. So he started thinking of anything he could've forgotten, even though he knew he hadn't forgot anything.

When he had calmed down he picked a book of the library he had in his plain room, he had read it at least a dozen times, but he hadn't get any knew book that caught up his attention a simple bare minimum, so he kept re-reading the books he already read.

He spent all the night reading till the sun was up, then he had put down the book and took his bag full of clothes, plans, and information he had not memorised. If he was being honest, he remembered quiet well, but being an asshole knowing almost everything normally made people feel uncomfortable, so he pretended most of the times he didn't knew, other times he was extremely cocky about it, reaching the top level of being an asshole.

Cassian was already up when he came out of his room, but choose to ignore him, he really did not wanted to talk to someone so early, he would shout at him if pushed far enough, and he would push, even though he knew it was not good for any of them.

He was gonna go out for several days and eve though it was all bullshit it was better than having to see all happiness around him revolve while he was unsure about everything.

The bag on his shoulder didn't felt like any weigh was there. A remember of all the little things he needed to be set up in another place. A feeling of discomfort waved from his chest. His life was a scattering mess again and again and again, and he couldn't pull from the waves that were pushing and pushing him far below from the surface.

He loved Nesta and Feyre like her sisters, he really did, but before them he was taken care by Rhysand and Cassian even though he did in fact not tell anyone he was hurting, and here they were, far apart from each other, maybe it was unintentional but he did not wanted to go to the Winter Court. It was freezing there, and when it was really winter in all the other courts it was almost unspeakable how his hands really hurt with all the extra freezing.

Not any gloves could fix that shit.

So he started flying, snowflakes in Velaris were merely starting to fall, and when he was out of reach of the city he had called home for centuries now, he winnowed far away. Just when he reached the border of Nearon, the capital of the Winter Court, he started to feel his hands begin to frozen up.

How he hated winter and how he loved it at the same time.

He hated how it make him shiver every time he saw something like a cave or a hole on the ground full of snow, he remembered very well how it was back in his fathers house, the cell full of worms and snow in winter. He hated how his hands ache all this time after the incident with his step brothers, he hated the memories of all of that. He mostly hated winter.

But he loved it when it was not freezing but chill outside, late winter reaching spring, with the chill and the sun bathing all his body without being feeling hot. The snowball fight was the only time he loved snow.

He looked his surroundings, while his shadows explored all the zone. In less than ten seconds there were two white heads that caught his attention. Kallias and Viviane, High Lord and the Lady of the Winter Court.

"Shadowsinger, a pleasure to see you" said Viviane with a wide smile.

"Pleasure is mine" he said with a nod.

It didn't take him long to have it his own way while both of them started speaking of something about the holidays. Azriel was unsure why but his shadows were starting to wander far, far away from him.

"This week we wanted that our visitors meet our traditions so that they could maybe catch some for their Courts, and maybe start a new trade way." Kallias didn't say anything else.

He didn't comment, but was in fact curious of who else would be visiting in this holiday another Court for work and allies purposes.

It wasn't till he saw the palace from far far away that he smelled a smoky scent. Burnt wood, cinnamon and leather, that what it smelled like, and he knew quite well who that scent belonged to. If the holidays weren't terrible enough they might just get worse.

Eris Vanserra was grinning in their direction. Azriel couldn't be more pissed of.

[paasrin]

NO ROLE MODELZ | Azriels x FEM!reader

Summary: Y/N is from the Court of Nightmares and the bond snapped for her and Azriel, but she doesn't want to leave.

Warning: Angst

There was only one thing you loved more than the stars, and that was your little sister, Asterin was five at that time, and you had grow her up, your parents never at home.

Your father, Alexei, was a Lord of the Court, so obviously you had been in the reunions the High Lord and Lady had offered all times, but you scaped at the moment you saw the opportunity.

And that was what you were gonna do the second you saw it, but while searching a way to scape you saw two beautiful hazel eyes that cached your attention. And it was at this moment that you knew something would change forever, something snapped.

The bond had snapped to both of you. A warm thread was in your chest, you could see it glow when you saw that eyes again, but you felt terrified when you realized what was about to happen.

Males in the Court of Nightmares where such dicks them all, all wanting the females to left their family to stay in their house and provide children to them, like if they were only good for that, and you hated it, cause you knew that the male would take you from your family and Asterin would be alone with your parents, the worst part was that she would have to be left with what your parents give her.

You have received hundreds of beatings from your father, most of them when your sister was born, like you had to take care of her at the exact moment she was born, and you did, but everything she did wrong was a strong beating to you later, and you had received all of them, not wanting your father to take retaliation on your little sister. She was only five for Cauldrons sake!

But when the male was Infront of you it was even worse than you thought. It wasn't just a fucking male, it was the fucking spymaster of the Night Court, the fucking shadowsinger, the damn Azriel.

Your father had hated him even more that the High Lord, he was the reason his mate was gone, in his eyes was like that, the reality was that she had tried to murder the High Lord and his cousin, Morrigan, and almost got the job done, but it didn't count to Alexeis eyes.

If he discovered it you would be in such a problem, you started hating this even more. You had wished for a mate before Asterins birth, but know you couldn't let her alone at her fortune.

"Don't, please don't, I can't do this" you plead, almost like a whisper.

[paasrin]

HO HO HO!!!!!!!!! Santa is back!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been hard at work on your gift and I am so excited to be able to share it with you. I hope you've been well and are getting excited for the holiday season!!

A couple of questions:

Would you want a sneak peak of your gift before I officially post it?

(This doesn't have anything to do with the story but just for fun!) What are your favorite Holiday movies? Songs? Traditions?

Anyhow, my goal is to have the story posted for you on December 21st!! I'll pop in with another ask or two before then though, rest assured. :)

Hi santa!

For the sneak peak whatever you want, if you see like it go for it, but I prefer not.

For songs, and movies and traditions, that's another point. I like a lot of songs, like I don't have one I don't like. Christmas movies are not my favorite, I see like they're all the same, so I don't have one, but if I'd to choose I would choose home alone. And traditions my favorite is probably the grapes, the 12 grapes you eat at midnight till the next year.

See you soon!

[paasrin]

Ho ho ho hello! Secret Santa just checking in to make sure you received my last ask? I sent a couple questions on November 1st. If you did and are just taking your time answering that's totally fine, I just didn't want you to think I abandoned you if somehow tumblr ate the ask.

If you didn't receive it can you let me know and I'll resend?

Anyhow, hope you're having a lovely November so far! I'm actively working on your gift and want to make sure it's the best it can be for you, so I'll continue to have questions as we move along.

So sorry I didn't answer sooner, like, I didn't show the notification, but here I am, so sorry

[paasrin]

It's beginning to look a lot like C H R I S T M A S! 🎵🎄

Hohoho!!! Hello, giftee!! I hope that you've been doing well. With it officially being November 1st, the holiday season is upon us and I have officially begun working on your gift!! I have a few questions to help me along as I go:

What are your headcanons about Azris regarding the mating bond (if you think they're mated)? (i.e. do you think they know about it and ignore it? do you think one of them knows but the other doesn't? are they both oblivious? etc)

Which of the ACOTAR books is your favorite and why?

I look forward to hearing your answers!! Have a great week!!

Hiiii Santa! I'm so so sorry for making you wait to respond.

Like I think the one that knows is Eris, and it's a fucking tease, Azriel is oblivious but knows how to put him in his place. Like he would have be mad if Eris didn't told him and he discovers it any other way.

So much angst between this to, like, holy gods how I would like them to be soo angry, and the grovel over the mating bond.

My favourite book could be Acosf, but due to the Valkyries, like, I didn't like when they make a prison out of the HoW for Nes. Such a dicks witty that fucking decision.

Have a nice week santaaa

[paasrin]

*lands on your rooftop* JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS! Santa is back in town. I hope you had a great week!! I have a few more questions for you friend:

How would you describe Eris & Azriel individually? What are your headcanons about them as individual characters?

Is there anything you absolutely DON'T want to see in the fic? Like any tropes you hate, characters you'd prefer not to see, topics that are a no-go for you?

Would you want the fic to be Christmas/Winter Holiday themed or inspired?

That is all for now!! I'll be back, ho ho ho!

Hellooo Santaaaa!

Im thinking that Eris is a total jerk, but a funny type of jerk that on the inside is like a fluffy cloud, but he doesn't show that part of himself cause he's son of Beron y'know.

Azriel is like a moody cloud, like very close up but at the same time very funny and sarcastic when he wants it, I totally feel he's a cuddler and Eris loves it, but at first it was like hell no.

My headcanons about Eris is that he loves in secret Lucien, like he's his little brother y'know. Other headcanons are that he has a total skincare routine for every f*cking day, like he doesn't go to sleep without it.

About Azriel is that he has bat slippers, like really fluffy and comfortable, he prefers soft surfaces to stay like for sleeping or just sitting around cause he doesn't think quite well of himself but he loves to take care of his body at his age and is sth important to him.

I don't want like a fluffy fic from start to end, like something between angst to almost the end and then some fluff. Also no Nyx, or Feysand, cause like they have so many f*cking fanfics and many books I want it to be this two centered.

There are no no-go topics for me, like I don't really want to see the things I've mentioned but are okay if your idea have them.

Like maybe yes, maybe not, it all depends if you want to make an angsty fic and your idea matches it. Don't really care about that.

Have a nice week! Sorry for being late to respond, I was busy, any other questions you know we're am I.

[paasrin]

*climbs down the chimney* HO HO HO!! SANTA IS BACK!! 🎅

I have a couple more questions for you:

What is your favorite thing about Azris? What do you love about this ship?

What are your favorite romance tropes?

That is all for now!! Take care!! *rides off in sleigh*

Hiii, sorry im late

My favourite thing IS that they have the worst idea of each other and that means all things they could feel for one and other are utterly beautiful and sincere.

My favorite romance tropes are enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers, one bed trope, who did this to you, fake relationship, slowburn and forbidden love.

Hope I know of you soon!

[paasrin]

Ho Ho Ho, it's your Secret Santa!!!!!! SO excited to be writing an Azris fic for you! Now for my first questions, do you prefer canon or au (and if au which are your fave types)? Do you prefer fluff or angst (or both 👀) ? Let me know and I'll get to brainstorming! 💝🎅🏻

Hiii!

In general I prefer canon but if you write an AU i would also Love It, specially if It is like a modern au ir something like that, like a sports one, or like a mixture of Harry Potter (like they are from different Hogwarts houses or something).

I definitely love fluff but angst with all my heart. Like a mixture of both with many angst and grovelling.

[paasrin]

Thanks for the tag @queentala

I'm not gonna tag anyone cause really I don't know anyone on this app, so feel free to do it if you want to

get in, losers; we're going to the wild wild fuckin' west

(yes i made two, i needed a femme version also)

ait, let's hit the hay @joelsversion @swiftispunk @tieronecrush @pedgeitopascal @softlyspector etc

[paasrin]

Thanksss, I didn't think someone would tag me in something like this

How to train your dragon (the three)

The devil wears Prada

Black widow

Gifted (absolutely awesome the movie)

Grown ups (both)

The Hobbit (love all of them)

The lord of the rings

Whoever that wants to do it go for it

I was tagged by the lovely @blue-eyed-giant to list 7 comfort movies and tag 7 people

1) Seven Brides For Seven Brothers

2) Grease

3) Jaws (specifically my film when I’m on my period)

4) Beetlejuice

5) Little Shop Of Horrors (1986)

6) Dirty Dancing

7) The Prom

I’m going to tag @nocturnal-cryptid @spaghettiwithnachos13 @starship21zedna9 @spineless-lobster @cinder-watches-musicals @ineffablelunatic @is-it-mungojerry-or-rumpelteazer no pressure!!!

[paasrin]

Declan: alright so I got this box and we’re gonna put everything we love in it

Flynn, raises hand:

Declan: no, we’re not putting Ithan in the box

Flynn, lowers hand:

Ruhn, disgruntled growl:

[paasrin]

I realized that basically for nearly the entire spam of Elain's life, Lucien was living in the spring court and now I can't stop thinking about the idea that the reason she feels such connection with gardening was because he subconsciously send her images of the spring court, especially the manor's garden, like Rhysand had done with Feyre and the nigh sky.

[paasrin]

Totally fair

Gwyn: Why are you on the floor crying?

Cassian: This book is so fucking sAD-

Azriel: That is my diary.