octarna

[octarna]

„We're just like Sun and Moon, we can never be together. I'll have to leave and you'll have to stay…Even now that we're in the same sky, we can't be together, we live in different periods.“

He told her he loved her and that was all she needed. She believed him and it was enough. She was blessed having him in her life. It was the only good thing that happened to her. She gave him everything she could – her love, her body, her mind and soul. She could never hate him, no matter what he did. She didn’t care about the other girls, not replying to messages didn’t bother her, avoiding kisses was just shaken of her mind and the never appearing confession of love was never even on her mind. She only knew she loved him and that was all she needed.

Her naive soul was what he loved and the support he could never have from others. He loved her when she wasn’t there and when she was beside him and nobody else. He never wanted to end it, because no one would love him like that and he just needed love to feel alive again.

He was the worst thing that could happen to her, but she felt opposite. She loved the pain and lack of affection, but hated that he’s quiet. She wanted to hear his voice to memorize what she’ll never hear again – because she knew it would be now or never.

“I don’t want to see you anymore and that’s why I’m leaving”, Hanbin said. “And I don’t want to leave you, I know no one else will stay.”, she said.

“We're just like Sun and Moon, we can never be together. I'll have to leave and you'll have to stay…Even now that we're in the same sky, we can't be together, we live in different periods.“, Hanbin smiled. “And I just think that staying is the only way to-“, she stopped.

She left and then he left. The Sun and Moon can be together, she saw them in the sky and took a picture every time to remind herself of the fool she was before.

[octarna]

Poem

Has your girl ever told you She loves your imperfections too? But did she ever tell you She loves your smaller eye too? Did she ever tell you She loves your eyebrows too? But did she ever tell you She loves your thinner one too? Did the girl tell you She loves your heart and soul? But did she ever tell you to Change  your mind as a whole? Did she ever tell you You make her lose her mind too? But did she ever tell you You changed her ways too? Did the girl ever love you When she hated herself too? Or did she make you leave When letting her mind bleed? Because, If she didn't give it all for you Can I be the girl, Can I be the girl… Can I be the girl, who never told you to Be the you I want you to be, too?

[octarna]

Felix

Y/n can’t remember when was the last time she  had seen him.  Was it on her birthday? Or  was it on the day of maths exam? She just couldn’t remember. Her brain was switching memories on and off, all mixed up, not chronological, not it any order. Seems like the drug is slowly working. The white room made her lose her mind every day, but she would calm as soon as the lights were off. Brightness from 6 am ‘till 8 pm and darkness from 8 pm ‘till 6am. All that didn’t make any kind of sense. How could white walls, LED-lights  and sirens replace pink sky, slightly orange from the burning sun, bird whistles and wind tickling grass, caressing trees. Even the temperature isn’t the same. The difference between burning pipes and sun kisses, between ventilators, fans and cold breeze. The choking air from the room was filling up her lungs so fast, made her even more breathless. The amount of oxygen in the room couldn’t keep her breathing calm as it would even the slightest sight of her home. It still doesn’t make sense, the switching between “day” and “night”. Every “night” she would wonder where the setting of the “sun” is and every “day” she would wonder where the beautiful dawn is. At those times, she thinks of Felix, the boy she loves the most. She screams his name every time the drug would ease up so they give her the injection. She knew he was somewhere out there waiting the right moment to save her. She knew civilians were watching “The Ill Ones” on the news-Felix must be watching too. Why were the “The Ill Ones”? Just because-they didn’t go to sleep at night time, they didn’t wake up in the morning and they had their own thoughts, they were threat to the old “wise” ones with their ideas and rebellion. Mental illnesses were forgotten, not valued, they wanted to help and now they are called “The Ill Ones”. At the rare times she was sane, she never stopped thinking and plotting how she would run away. The only thing that kept her alive were her mixed up memories, but the same memories made her even more messed up. But where was Felix for real? Was he really out there with civilians making plans with Stray Kids how to overthrow the “White Building”? Felix was on the most beautiful place, the one no one alive has ever seen. At least he thought he was there…He was dreaming. He was dreaming they were together again, dreaming of their shared secrets, dreaming of their soft hugs and innocent pecks, dreaming there was nothing but the beautiful forest and sunset, nothing but love and peace and quiet. Nothing but colour and not a single black or white monotony.

[octarna]

Woosung

„Don't touch me like that in front of others, I already look like whore, don't make me feel like it.“ The girl took her boyfriend’s hand in hers so he stops grabbing her so-called waist. He just smiled kissing the back of her hand while the girl’s cheeks went as red as the underwear she wore, the one Jaeyoung bought for her. Lifting her head up hoping there’re no sharp looks shooting at her, y/n locked her eyes with that boy again. “What does he think of me since he’s always looking at me?”, she thought to herself. Breaking their staring contest, the girl griped her boyfriend’s hand making him stare at her with the smile on his face. “That’s the only time he smiles with joy, when he’s looking at…her” The boy said to Woosung, his friend who was staring at the girl not so long ago. He just scoffed as a response and then left.

Just like every Friday Jaeyoung and his girl were at the party, but at the moment he wasn’t with her. Clary had her hands around Jaeyoung’s waist while kissing his neck. Clary obviously knew he likes it, she didn’t spy for no reason, but how could she leave out such a small detail with her precise binoculars. “Ah, stop, are you eating my neck out?” Jaeyoung gasped while trying to push the girl away in pure disappointment. “But you like it~” Clary tried to catch her breath in disbelief as she jumped on him once more. Everything would have gone alright if Jaeyoung’s girl didn’t show up at the wrong time. “I wasn’t here for literal 10 minutes. Is that your new record?.” She turned around and tried to leave as her boyfriend pushed Clary away as strong as he could to go after his girl. Jaeyoung tried grabbing y/n’s wrist to stop her, but with her hands on her chest he wasn’t able to. He knew she’d cry this time so he hurried and turned her around by her upper arm. Hugging her and resting his hand on her head, he allowed her to cry in his chest while resting his chin on her head swearing everything he could think of. “You know what I hate the most? You showing up in the wrong time.” Jaeyoung laughed quietly. He didn’t know what to say, but to try with the most simple apology. “I love you so much I could die…Don’t think I would leave forever, I couldn’t do that, I wouldn’t’.” “Such a sweet lie I want to kiss him.”, she thought to herself while quietly crying. But what could she do except doing anything for him and forgiving him everything he does. She’d always swallow his sweet lies to neutralise her bitter tears. “I don’t like seeing my girl cry, won’t you smile for me?” She lifted her head, tears still in her eyes, but smile on her face-just like he said. “What do you say we come at my place? Nobody’s home.” Jaeyoung kissed her lips and took her hand in his while rubbing it with his thumb. She just nodded and they left with his car to spend another night in his bedroom.

“Man, now I’m really convinced…girls are stupid.” A boy told to his friend who just scoffed in response and tried to keep his thought to himself. “I mean, would you forgive him? I definitely wouldn’t! A no-no from me, I’d broke up with him. I mean, doesn’t matter his face looks like that, screw you!” “I don’t blame her.” “W-What? You’d forgive him? Man, you’re such an “appearance is important” kind of guy…You know I  didn’t expect that from you, just so you know-…” “It’s clearly love. It’s forgiving thousands of times, even if it’s the same mistake every time.”

They were sitting in his room on a bed across opened balcony door just looking at the foggy weather that was covering spruces and pines leaving only little to be seen. Coming to his place was such a recovery for her, whenever she’d feel like she needed a break from literally everything. His dark room and that scent of cold freshness coming through the balcony door, it was so much better than Jaeyoung’s white silk sheets and his big ass house. She felt like that just at some times, the times she didn’t love her boyfriend and loved Woosung. Now she just wants to kiss him, but as soon as she’ll feel his lips on hers she won’t be able to stop. “Just a little kiss won’t hurt anyone.”, the thought went through her head. “Don’t do this because of me.” He went to stop the kiss, but she continued and showed him it wasn’t a big deal. They were making out, not thinking about anything else than each other, they didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings or the consequences. “Sammy?” Woosung’s one hand under the shirt on her back and another on her butt, her fingers in his hair and her legs around his waist. They got caught by AJ, Woosung’s little brother.

[octarna]

My baby Boi Sehun

[octarna]

Love this one, it isn't angsty as mine~

[11:41 pm]

As the ending credits of the movie played on the screen you both became lost in your own thoughts silence surrounding you. It was comfortable. Neither of you needed to say anything. The feathery light touch you felt on your cheek was what made you divert your attention to the boy laying in your lap.

“Why’d you stop?” his lips dipped into a cute pout. You looked at him puzzled not knowing what on earth he was referring to.

“What?” you questioned searching for the answer. His hand enveloped yours that lay limply by your side and placed it in his hair.

You knew instantly what he wanted. Without even a thought your fingers were gently combing through Renjun’s dark locks. A gentle smile tugged at your lips when he let out a soft content sigh, his eyes already closed and the beginnings of a smile forming on his face. His features were illuminated by the fairy lights you had both strung up earlier that day. You both just reveled in the others comfort just content to be so close. It didn’t take long before you heard his breathing even out, so you assumed he was sleeping. You pondered your next move ultimately leaning down to gently kiss his cheek.

“If you wanted to kiss me earlier I wouldn’t have objected?” he uttered smugly, eyes slowly opening. Noticing your flustered state he was quick to back track.

“I’m kidding I’m kidding” he chuckled, the sound enough to have your lips lifting at the corners. After his laughter drifted away he reached up touching your cheek before angling himself up. You both met in the middle, the kiss sending warmth throughout your chest. He placed your hand over his heart that was beating considerably faster.

“No need to be embarrassed love, see what you do to me?” the whispered words drifting over your lips. Your cheeks bloomed with heat again at his admittance, your heart matching the pace of his. “Now come here and lay down with me” you adjusted your position resting your head on his chest, his arm around you. His calming heartbeat quickly lulling you to sleep.

[octarna]

Joohoney everyone~ I drew this probably 2 years ago, but I still love MONSTA X the same 

[octarna]

Renjun imagine

The girl sat on the sofa as she kept looking at the boy. He seemed cute with his light brown hair and oversized hoodie covering his fingers up to the middle. She liked his pretty face and the fact that he was short made him look even more attractive. Renjun wanted to approach her, but his confidence was low, he decided to just look at her from the distance and admire her crossed legs. He would’ve kept looking if it wasn’t for his friend who showed up and literally dragged him to another room for God knows what kind of prank. As soon as Renjun left, y/n told her girls she’s leaving for a bathroom. As soon as she brought up her pace she bumped into the boy on the hallway. Lifting her head up smile appeared on the corner of her pink chapped lips when those black-spacey eyes locked with hers. Looking away her cheeks went red, and the boy just backed away wanting to leave. Y/n pulled him on the sleeve making Renjun look into her eyes again.

“Don’t leave, Renjun, please.”

“You have a boyfriend.”, he whispered leaning over her.

“I know…but I love you more than him.”, y/n pecked his lips softly.

“This is so wrong.”, Renjun protested, but not trying to leave.

“There’s nothing wrong in loving someone.”

But it was…it was so wrong to play with poor boy’s feelings. Renjun loved her and she just used him. While killing her boredom, she killed his heart.

[octarna]

Hello,,,

Hello guys! I’m new one shot blog...request whatever you want to be written, you will also see some of my mobile photographs and maybe some art like drawings...please send your love to me and my work! I will try to post as regularly as I can. Thank you