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24.09.2020
Sayang merajuk kjap cos I didn’t texting with her last night. I was actually giving her rest time. Cos she told me it was a hectic day for her. As soon as she said that i video called her. Sour face she gave me as soon as i see her. Jealous yaa rupanya. Cos an hour before that i told her i was busy texting with my friends gossiping. When i tell her the whole stories baruuuu tah senyum. Then she did to muka toby.
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22.09.2020
Sayang super manja today. She called me during lunch earlier. Errghhh if only she call me like that every day i’ll be wet all the time. Supperrrr manja and i likeeee.
Pikah and angel planned kan krumah tonight skali angel demam and kna sruh self quarantine. Pikah nda jadi cos takut awkward. They planned kan masak skali now shes alone i ordered her tapao. She said she lovesss what i i ordered her today. Mouthgasm she said. I ordered it from the roots.
Before i go to sleep, i called her. Just wanna hear her voice. But In the middle of talking i video call her. I feel i need to see and hear her. Shes superrrr cute today and super manja. She showed me toby. Toby woke up hearing my voice.
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21.09.2020
We have been kinky to each other for the past 2 days. She told me she like how i do her a night before me crew change. She requested that i’ll do her good like that when i get home. Shes going to have her period soon thats why she feels so horny. She seldom do dirty talk to me via text, infact we have never do that before. She just really can’t wait i go back home this time
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17.09.2020
Video call with love. Shes sharing update about her day. She told me, toby missed her. Toby never acted like that ever to her. Siannn toby mummies.
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10.09.2020
We made love ❤️
She asked me to make her a butter toast. Delighted to make one for you my love. I made a guacamole for myself. While i was preparing for breakfast, she cleaned tobys trays. I made her avocado shake. She lovesss it. She complimented it balik2. It reminded her to kk she said.
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10.09.2020
Today marked 2 years im knowing you. 2 years ago this date, you decided to see me and stay over. First time i lay my eyes on you my love
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08.09.2020
Our breakfast today. Guacamole and bread. She requested milo today
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06.08.2020
I found out that shes not feeling well. She greeted me good morning at 7ish am. I thought shes working morning shift. But shes off. She woke up she wanted to eat her medicine she said. Immediately i asked her if shes not feeling well. Knowing shes not feeling well, i wanted to take care of her no matter what shes gonna said. I’ll pick her up i said. As soon as i know that, i santized the house. I washed my cadar and sarung bantal. Opened up all windows to get rid all of the dust. Vacuuming the house. Moping the house. Cleaned the toilet. Washed all my laundry. I want her to feel comfortable staying here with me. I put toby outside in his cage while im cleaning the house. I told her im gonna pick her up in an hour. That was 12 ish i think. I wanna bring her to eat as well. Buy errands for me to cook for her.
Im not going to give up with this relationship. Shes my world. No matter how hard it is, im gonna work things through with her. My love, my heart and my everything ❤️
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3.09.2020
I feel sick. Like really sick. I texted her to come home cos i need her.
But when she replied she sounded reluctant. Then i said nda pyh th cos i feel like she don’t want it. Half an hour later she came. I was miserable. She made something for me in a milk form. She mixed with something. I immediately felt so much better. But was so heavy still. She slept overnight with me. The next day she spend all day with me but most of the time we slept. We seldom talk. It was awkward for me. How is this happening? Would she come back and fix this together with me?
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We had a massive fight early in the morning. Subuh to be exact. We confronted each other through text. This is not the way i wanted confrontation to be. I want it face to face. From that i can see the genuinity of a person from their face expression. All out. But i still not satisfied with some of her answer. She doesn’t seem to understand. The thing that I asked was only simple and i asked her to list it down for me. Below is what i wanted from her
1. Take pictures.
2. Jumpa my friends.
3. Plan things.
4. Try to do what u like.
5. Say i love u. Ask how are u.
6. Mahu me ingat our dates.
6. Bring u out. If not ud think that im ashamed of u.
Is it wrong to ask all of those thing?
There was a lot of things we talked about but it was all hurtful for both of us.
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I went to sleep a little early. Didn’t feel well. Psal tkna hujan time jogging tu kali. But i took vit c plang sdh. So im good.
She posted this last night when i asleep.
I’m not sure anymore what shes doing now is sincere. She keep on saying, i’ll be only pretending to do and to satisfy you to make you happy.
02.09.2020
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She stopped by last night taking the flower atu pun when i reminded her to take.
I said “You nda celebrate the monthsaries with me b but atleast terima this flower i give this to you sayang”
She replied “okay sayang, i’ll pick it up later”
😢😔😔
How i always been treated like this.
02.09.2020
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Bought her the flowers but she left it in the car. I don’t feel appreciated. Sudah th alone celebrate monthsaries ani. I went to her office to give it to her.
I went to see and talked to her. To think back, I shouldn’t said what i said. To see her face expression when she saw the flower was priceless. Ohh..that smile. Melt my heart every single time. That eye squint and malu smile. But because of my rage that i’ve been holding on for a week, I couldn’t seem to see that. I see past through that. I asked her to come in to the car cos it was raining. I parked towards the back and i was shaking. The first question i asked her was, do you know why i i’ve been silent for the past week. She said no. She seems oblivious of that. I think she doesn’t care what i feel hence the silent doesn’t even matter to her. What she feel was only her feelings. She was angry and she feels like doesn’t want to talk with me. That what she know. Anything else doesn’t matter. I told her, i was near to the edge already for the past week. Then i said, i feel like you don’t appreciated me. My mind blown since the day about her brother incident. This thing could’ve been avoided if she dont lie about me since the beggining. Why don’t she just tell them that its a girl who owns the car. Just tell them that i work offshore. It won’t get to where we are right now. Then she explained about how her mother would be suspicious if she knows my age, my maritial status and all. Cos she have experienced with her ex, where they already suspected that they’re together. She then said my mom will tell her aunt and her aunt will investigate and it will be getting more worst. My family will disown me she said. Then i said this to her. From the very beggining, you disrespect me. I told you one thing and that one thing you breached and the picture i told her that I don’t like to see she posted. She still carry on with it eventhough she knows I don’t like it. Then she was called cos she have case. We both leave it there with grudge. I was pissed and angry.
My sweet baby, if you really dig in my heart you would know how I really feel.
1.09.2020
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I’ve been ignoring her for almost a week now. I had enough. She pushed my button. Already told her what not to do when you’re angry. Speak with your words. Communicate. Shes been ignoring what i asked her not to do. Its always on her term. What she likes, what she doesn’t like, do whatever she wants to do without consulting me first..whatever. Sometimes i just don’t want to think but im hurting. Prolly its because im hurting im ignoring this, all of this. Im numb for a lot of times but when it hurts i cried. I have to take a moment and cried. I have to let it all out. Shes being disrespectful towards for me since the very beginning. This time i had enough. I think im adjusting for whats ahead. Yes she said she love me. But thats just words. Action speaks louder than word. And her action...nada. So i believe in action. Im prolly gonna melt when i see her upfront but i hope i have the strength to just say it
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30th august 2020
Its been a rough day. Lifting ada problem at cp40 and im stressing out. It doesn’t help when i have personal matters too. Trying to be professional. Wanted to text her real bad. But i couldn’t. She would take me for granted jf i do that.
Lean in to me was ellynah. She asked about my progression form. Have I done and finished it? I was procrastinating for awhile cos my mind was somewhere else for the past few days. I couldn’t concentrate well but i try not to show to people that i have a problem.
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