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The Stages of Not Going on T

From Something That May Shock And Discredit You by Daniel M Lavery

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if she’s your girl then who am i? what year is it? why cant i remember anything…

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LSOUL "Summer" Collection if you want to support this blog consider donating to: ko-fi.com/fashionrunways

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Dream Walk, 1977, Helen Frankenthaler

Medium: lithography

https://www.wikiart.org/en/helen-frankenthaler/dream-walk-1977

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the pussy got me confused as fuck wandering into the darkness with a waning candle like HELLO? HELLO? IS ANYONE THERE? HELLO?

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If it’s meant to be I’ll see you later

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if only for a moment

lots of buds ask 'chuck how do you maintain such a positive outlook?' i think practice of gratitude is different for all, so looking for a kind of quick antidote that will rewire your whole brain is rarely the trot. many small steps. its called a practice for a reason. still, maybe my story can help

the first time i remember REALLY thinking about this was when i was a young buckaroo and i got VERY sick. it was a long term, serious trot. anyway i remember thinking, 'i would give anything to not be sick anymore' i would try to quantify it like 'okay here is what i would do' with just wild stuff

eventually i started thinking 'the PASSION that i have for getting better is kind of funny because when i AM healthy i certainly never ENJOY MY HEALTH with that kind of passion. i just take it for granted.' so i made a promise that i would always remember that passion if and when i got better

i DID get better eventually, but that lesson kind of started to slip into other parts of my life. i get in a fender bender and it ruins my day, but there are INFINITE timelines where i died in that wreck, or someone i love did. HOW ABSURDLY LUCKY I AM TO HAVE A  FENDER BENDER

now it is important to remember that some people HIDE BEHIND gratitude in a bad way. the truth is sometimes you get in that wreck and it IS deadly, or you get sick and it DOES NOT get better. it helps nobody to ACT like there is no tragedy. there is. it is not WRONG to hurt and ache and be sad

so i personally think healthy gratitude practice is not a denial of the pain on this timeline it is an acknowledgment. it is not an invitation to sit back because everything is just fine, it is a CALL to step up and help when you are in the position to. to CHOOSE kindness and service

so when i wake up i think 'what a great day to take these blessings i have received and PUT THEM TO USE. great day to work to help those on the rough timelines i have narrowly missed but will someday be my own. when i talk about PROVING love that is literally what means: appreciation through effort

how unfathomably lucky i am to be here, to be a part of this fight, to be blessed with a moment of light on this timeline where i can make change and prove love. i cannot in my wildest dreams think of a greater gift than breathing with a beating heart and an electric brain, if only for a moment

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How do I install mods for animal crossing, that add suicide, drugs etc for a more grounded experience? The dark is necessary to appreciate that which isn't.....

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"Cellar with supplies" Soviet Union c. 1970s

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kiss and go

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( <= green bean

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guy who starts drinking so he can go to AA meetings

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Everything is so boring .

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People put so much into seeing Stonewall as this symbol. And at the time we just thought, ‘Oh, I guess it’s just that time of the month when cops raid the bar, so they can make their numbers for arresting fags for the month of June.’ But people get so concerned about the details. I don’t know about all the crap I’ve heard all these years. Sometimes it’s ‘Oh, someone threw a high-heel shoe.’ Sometimes it’s ‘No, gurl, it was a Molotov cocktail,’ or ‘Somebody slugged a cop.’ All I know is that night, they came in, and nobody budged. I guess we were just sick of their shit. And suddenly we were fighting, and we were kicking their ass. The cops had to back up into the bar. We had them cornered. Next thing you knew, the riot squad was there, and baby, it was on. ‘The night of Stonewall’ is how people talk about it, but it was more like a week. People want to know the little details, but what I remember most is being scared as hell. We were fighting for our lives. They’re still killing us; they’re still not giving us the respect we’re due for putting up with their shit all these years. I’m giving you the facts about how shit’s been from the beginning, and what’s gone on, how the law was in our daily lives—the facts! And so with regard to that producer lady, the whole time I just thought to myself, ‘There’s gonna be so much of me on the cutting-room floor.’

—Miss Major, from Miss Major Speaks: Conversations with a Black Trans Revolutionary