milteachan

[milteachan]

Was at the dentist rn and just heard I’ll have to get my wisdom teeth removed…

ALL 4 OF THEM!

It’s not like I’m particularly scared of the procedure itself…. But they’ll have to do it at 2 separate sessions and my face will swell up like crazy for weeks.

I’ll walk around with a f*cking moonface for literal weeks.

WEEKS!

Where’s the next cliff?

Imma throw myself rn

[milteachan]

[milteachan]

I CAN‘T EVEN SEEM TO CONTROL THAT THESE DAYS!

MY MIND IS A FAT UGLY JEALOUS LITTLE B🤍TCH!

[milteachan]

I miss my old self so much.

Skinny b🤍tch was afraid of food, weighed 58kg at 176cm height, had long full hair, good grades and a boyfriend.

Past me was living the life.

[milteachan]

I feel that wayyy too hard

the worst pain is restricting but binging equally enough to the point you’re not losing or gaining 😐

[milteachan]

Paint your nails. Don't eat.

Take a shower. Don't eat.

Do a hair mask. Don't eat.

Do a face mask. Don't eat.

Brush your teeth. Don't eat.

Whiten your teeth. Don't eat.

Drink water. Don't eat.

Go for a walk. Don't eat.

Make tea. Don't eat.

Do laundry. Don't eat.

Clean your house. Don't eat.

Brush your teeth again. Don't eat.

Read a book. Don't eat.

[milteachan]

I wish I was thin so that people around me actually cared about my restrictive diet.

Cuz all I hear these days when my family hears about what I eat is: “oh but it’s not working, is it?” or “well you look healthy. Not as thin as your cousins.”

Thank you. But while my cousins have a freaking high metabolism and get away with eating junk all day I survive on freaking veggies only for years now. And I’m still fat as f.ck

Why can’t my efforts pay off finally. I’m so done with my body. LET ME BE THIN!

[milteachan]

Meal Prep Plan for until Christmas

So I need to lose weight. That’s obvious.

I eat pretty clean already. That’s fine.

BUT I struggle with portion sizes. Like MASSIVELY. I eat way too big portions, way too many times.

And I can’t seem to control myself.

Sooooo I‘ve come up with a strategy to reduce my appetite, help my brain control my portion sizes automatically again and lose weight all at the same time.

The plan is as following:

DAY 01 - 06:

One 200ml container per day. That‘s all I‘ll be eating.

Each container consists of 2 tablespoons of canned corn, 3 sliced cherry tomatoes, 2 avocado cubes, 3 kidney beans, 1/2 slice of zucchini and a few strips of cucumber.

DAY 07:

Water fast + meal prep

So wish me luck that I manage to keep going until at least Christmas. I‘ll update my weight etc. on here.

Day 00: 67.8kg

[milteachan]

I just had a sleepover with my best friend and I’m honestly stunned at how different we are.

I mean how come she is so skinny when she literally inhaled sweets the entire time while I lived on air most of the time and I’m still so uncomfortable in my skin?

I watched her eat an entire bag of popcorn, half a bag of chips, an entire bag of sour gummies, half a pack of chocolate cookies, some chocolate pralines (around 5-6) and some chocolate poki sticks…. Add on that the two bowls of ramen and tteokkbokki and of course she also had breakfast earlier that day.

Like how can she inhale all of these bad foods and still have her ribs showing while I only ate 2 small bowls of cooked veggies the entire day and I look like a whale?

And I know for a fact that she is not pūrging or any of that ‘cuz she’s strictly against any €d. She also eats like that all the time. Chocolate shakes, ice cream, cookies, chips. Wherever she goes.

I could cry.

I wanna kms

[milteachan]

TW: Dark thoughts ahead.

The dark voices in my head are getting more and more persistent with each day.

I feel like my brain is becoming a dark, sinister place with each passing minute.

If my worst fears come true I’ll go through with it.

But I’m afraid.

I can’t do it how I’ve pictured it in my head, in my dreams so many times.

I’m a coward.

So I decided I’ll do it the chic way.

Here’s to ⭐️ving until I can finally become a fallen angel myself.

[milteachan]

ur big i’m

not taking advice from u

Well you don’t need to sweetheart💋

[milteachan]

My Bibles 🤍

[milteachan]

Nearly fainted yesterday for the first time in what feels like ages and it was just so….

Magical.

Like feeling so lightheaded, sounds fading and your body losing strength to the point where you nearly collapse to the floor….

It’s such an awesome feeling.

🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍🤎🤍

Plus point:

When you have a strong man around who you can lean against as he easily holds you up by your slumping shoulders.

Best feeling ever!

I need it all the time!

[milteachan]

OMG THE PAST DAYS PAID OFF!🤎🤍🤎

I dropped below 67kg! My tummy is a bit flatter when sucking in and my ribs are a tad more visible. You can feel them when brushing over the skin with your fingertips! It’s such a nice feeling tbh! 🤎

Maybe if this goes on I’ll be able to reach my first GW of 65kg in a few weeks and my second GW of 58kg by Christmas???

That would totes be like a dream come true!

[milteachan]

Today’s food

I really need to lock in today since I have a First Date tomorrow and I gotta look my best.

Anyways been reading The Chic Diet these past days to get me back in the mindset.🤎

Keep on striving, keep on ⭐️ving!

[milteachan]

Had two bad days of overindulging in veggies and I’m up a kilo.

I wanna kms 🤎

[milteachan]

At my family birthday party right now and struggling so hard to refrain from overeating. I already had a miso broth with veggies and some pickled radish and kimchi.

And now I’m so tempted to eat olives. But they are so high in calories so I gotta be strong.

Someone give me the strength!