mikiarqz

[mikiarqz]

useless ray of goddamn sunshine

[mikiarqz]

mullet stan

[mikiarqz]

[mikiarqz]

Highkey one of the funniest parts of Gravity Falls is how obnoxiously close they come to revealing Ford’s existence in the early seasons but never do out of just. Cosmic levels of dumb luck

Episode 1 Stan nearly catches Dipper with the journal and it’s passed off as a gag about Gold Chains for Old Men magazine. In Time Travellers Pig they go back to the Shack 30 years in the past and miss Ford opening the door on them by literal seconds. In bottomless pit Mabel gives him a set of truth teeth that make him incapable of lying and he tells the twins TO THEIR FACES that he regularly commits massive tax fraud and if they had asked him to elaborate he would’ve told them who he was impersonating. In one of the shorts Dipper and Soos find a sentient omniscient mailbox that will answer any question in the universe, and right before they can ask it who wrote the journals Mabel shows it a video of herself snorting gummy worms and it kills itself out of disgust. The entirety of Dreamscaperers is them delving into the depths of Stan’s psyche, going through his memories, all while fighting his brother’s ex-boyfriend and it somehow just. Doesn’t come up. Bill never mentions him. Their grandpa Shermie never said anything. Their parents never said anything. Either the universe was conspiring to cover it up or they are genuinely all that oblivious

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Do you think that Stanley and Stanford would switch places when they were kids? Trying to stifle their giggles, hiding mischievous glances from teachers and tourists they were messing with. And then as they got older, and grades got more important, and reality began to draw increasingly rigid lines between smart and stupid and successful and failure; Stanley began to wish he really was Stanford. He wanted the good grades, the attention and the praise.

And then he really did get his wish.

I have to become Stanford, or die trying.

And then, decades later, after the dust has settled and all has been said and done, he has to pretend to be his brother one last time.

He's terrified as he rapidly switches clothing with his brother. Heart in his throat, he tries to calm himself it's just like something they used to do when they were kids. We're just gonna switch places to avoid trouble from an an angry crazy guy named Bill real quick, no big deal. I used to do stuff like this all the time!

I used to lie like this all the time.

Right before he clears his mind for good, all the lies and cons flash through his memory. He used to think nothing of them. They were just what he did to survive. But then two wacky kids named Dipper and Mabel came into Gravity Falls and reminded him what it meant to not just survive, but live. This renewed taste of hope makes the old cons far more bitter than before. But it's fine. He can do this. He can be a good grunkle, a good brother, a good person, one more time.

I have to become Stanford, or die trying.

[mikiarqz]

FIDDLESTAN NATION WAKE UP. I BRING COMFORT DURING THESE DARK TIMES AND AMOUNGST THE DOOMED YAOI POSTINGS, FOR I WANT NOTHING BUT THEIR HAPPINESS.

[mikiarqz]

You see, @localcanadiancryptid22, I’m a motherfucker who LOVES drama, so I fw anything that can create that.

I’m normal. Btw. In case you were wondering.

[mikiarqz]

the queen of the disco or whatever

[mikiarqz]

Little Stan getting manipulated by Bill has excellent angst potential but consider.

Stanley just, keeps tricking Bill. Because Bill would definitely massively underestimate Stanley and how far he’ll go to protect Ford (like in the actual show). We also know Stanley has the street smarts between the twins and could absolutely tell Bill is full of it.

And because Bill would absolutely loose his mind if he kept getting foiled by a snot nosed eight year old that isn’t even supposed to be here

I like to think that he doesn’t even try that hard he just does not even care about bill

[mikiarqz]

something i don't see talked about enough is the fact that parents having constant surveillance over "their" children is normalized by our society

like seriously, parents will go install the Super Panopticon Kid Safe Parental Controls 2000 that sends their kid's internet history, recordings of their calls and texts, every file on their phone, and exact geolocation to the parents.

and if you ever point out that this is more likely to endanger kids than protect them, people suddenly bombard you with a thousand comments about how children are too stupid or immature to have the most basic privacy in their life.

[mikiarqz]

Spectacular now give me 14 of em! (Need fics ao3 authors do yo thang pls)

This has to be an AU already right? I’ve never seen it. I’m doing it. My city now

The angst potential alone haunts me. How long do you think he waited for Ford?? When did it start to sink in that nobody was coming to save him, that nobody would miss him? Would anybody even want him back? How long did it take for his anger, his heartbreak, his grief to turn into acceptance and a belief that this was divine retribution? How long did he work, how many jobs did he take, how much wealth did he accrue, how many brushes with death did he have until he believed he’d “earned” the right to go home and see his brother?? Many such questions. I need to go deeper

[mikiarqz]

Continuing with the idea of ​​this post

So... Bill and Stanley come out of the portal and before Stanford can think of doing anything, he notices that his brother and the lunatic nightmare demon have matching gold rings...

He tries to attack Bill only to be stopped by Stanley and Bill himself (by this time he regained some of his powers) who creates a magical barrier to protect himself and Stanley.

Bill thinks Stanford wants to hurt his brother.

Stanford starts yelling at Bill to free his brother from mind control.

Bill yells at Stanford.

Stanley is just trying to give a hug to his brother that he hasn't seen in 30 years.

And suddenly two kids he doesn't know appear in front of them.

Dipper— What's going on here?!

Mabel— Uncle Ford, is this little triangle the terrifying interdimensional demon you warned us about? He's adorable!

Dipper— Is that your brother? The one who was kidnapped by the evil demon?

Ford—...

Stan— Kidnapped?

Bill— Who are you calling adorable, girl? I could destroy your brain right now!

Mabel— Aww Come here, little one! I'm going to make us matching sweaters!

[mikiarqz]

I forgot to post this on tumblr oopsie doopsies

Anyways Stan’s the rebound no matter what-

[mikiarqz]

you ever think about how stan spent decades trying to replicate ford's work, pouring over those journals again and again, learning the science behind it all as someone who almost didnt graduate high school, searching endlessly for that last journal just so he could bring his brother back and then it almost didn't work because of dipper and mabel. like looking back he was so calm about confronting them but i wouldve been fucking LOSING it if i was that close to opening the portal and then these two kids who have no idea what's going on almost ruin everything

[mikiarqz]

stan is the only member of the pines twins^2 to never make a deal with bill and i think he needs more credit for that.

ford makes, just, so many deals with his demon boyfriend

dipper literally trades his body to bill in sock opera

and while i will die on the hill that it was never her fault, mabel is tricked into making a deal with him for weirdmagenon.

but stan never gets tricked. the only time he comes close was when he was pretending to be ford but that was with the sole purpose of getting bill erased. never does bill get to him or twist his thoughts. for being the "dumb one" he's surprisingly rational in this was.

nobody matches bill intellectually, ford's fatal flaw is that he thought he did, and the pines family wins because they have an emotional core that bill never had (the power of sibling bonding saves the day and i love it) but ill go out on a limb and say that out of everyone, stan is the only one to match bill's street smarts.

bill's a master manipulator but stan is a professional con-artist with no respect for the law, you tell me who's coming out on top.

stan successfully faked his own death, ran a business for 30 years, taught himself some sort of advanced engineering to repair the portal, evaded local, federal and international authorities from the age of 18, and did it all without any support.

and going back to when he pretends to be ford to get bill to enter his mind, that scene makes stan the only character to ever outwit bill.

anyways this has been a stan pines appreciation post, thank you and goodnight

[mikiarqz]

stan is the only member of the pines twins^2 to never make a deal with bill and i think he needs more credit for that.

ford makes, just, so many deals with his demon boyfriend

dipper literally trades his body to bill in sock opera

and while i will die on the hill that it was never her fault, mabel is tricked into making a deal with him for weirdmagenon.

but stan never gets tricked. the only time he comes close was when he was pretending to be ford but that was with the sole purpose of getting bill erased. never does bill get to him or twist his thoughts. for being the "dumb one" he's surprisingly rational in this was.

nobody matches bill intellectually, ford's fatal flaw is that he thought he did, and the pines family wins because they have an emotional core that bill never had (the power of sibling bonding saves the day and i love it) but ill go out on a limb and say that out of everyone, stan is the only one to match bill's street smarts.

bill's a master manipulator but stan is a professional con-artist with no respect for the law, you tell me who's coming out on top.

stan successfully faked his own death, ran a business for 30 years, taught himself some sort of advanced engineering to repair the portal, evaded local, federal and international authorities from the age of 18, and did it all without any support.

and going back to when he pretends to be ford to get bill to enter his mind, that scene makes stan the only character to ever outwit bill.

anyways this has been a stan pines appreciation post, thank you and goodnight

[mikiarqz]

oogh. augh