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8/9/13

This time last year I was drunk texting Kenny in an attempt to get things going again. Little did I know that the next night my life was going to change our relationship and our lives forever.

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Emailing the Future

I had seen commercials and pins on Pinterest on doing this. So I decided to do it. I have set up email accounts for Aiden, Bella, Charlee, and Ellie. Each account contains one email right now. Each individualized for each child. I wrote to each of them why they are special and lovely to me. My 3 stepchildren received emails that are about how much I love them and consider them my children, though I didn't bear them.

On their 18th birthdays, I am going to give them the user name and password. By then, they should have many, many emails from me. Every birthday, memory, milestone, and so on, will merit an email from me.

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Bella

Dear Bella,

You are now almost 4 years old! I can't believe it. When I met you, you were 2 1/2 and full of sass and energy. It didn't take long until we saw each other all the time. I used to babysit you in your mom's room at school. We went shopping together numerous times.

That summer, your dad and I were introduced to each other, as you and I saw each other all the time. I will never forget whenever Daddy would hug me or kiss me, you would get mad and yell "my daddy!". The more time we spent together, the more you got excited to see me. We would go out side and kick balls back and forth, you would ride your bike, and we would color the ground with chalk. We would read together while you sat in my lap, I would also brush your hair.

I remember the day I told you I was, like your mommy, having a baby. We had just gotten home from Aunt Sissy's house and we were watching Rio together. I was laying on the ground, and you had your head on my belly. I looked at you and said there is a baby in there. You cocked your head to the side and pressed your head against my belly. You listened for a minute and said "yep, there's a baby in there".

In that moment, I knew I was ready to be a mommy. You helped me to that final moment. Words cannot describe how much I love and adore you. No matter what you hear or what is said. You are my daughter too and you are Ellie's big sister too. If you ever need anything, I will be there for you!

I love you so much Princess Bella-boo!

Chelsey

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all or none challenged

In response to some comments I received on my facebook page, I wanted to write this blog. My last blog was about breast milk and all it's goodness for you and your baby. In hindsight, it may have offended or hurt some mom's feelings because they have chosen to formula feed or simply are unable to breast feed.

Many of my mommy friends on facebook are the types that believe in only natural childbirth and breast feeding. Everyone has heard the mantra "breast is best", hell, I have even chanted it myself. I was the type that believed in natural childbirth with no pain meds and only breast feeding. Anything else I felt was cheating. I didn't necessarily judge women who had c sections or used epidurals and those who used formula...but in a way, I did.

Now, hold your pitchforks and torches! God had an important lesson to teach me. While pregnant with Ellie, I told everyone I was doing natural childbirth with no pain meds and I would only get a c section if she was in danger. Everyone kept laughing and laughing saying that I would see. After  more than 30 hours of labor and receiving an epidural at hour 14, the doctor and I agreed that it was time for the c section. I was so upset and I felt like I was a weak woman. In my head I thought, ok, well at least I will breast feed and that is all I will do. God once again laughed.

First off, breast feeding is hard. No one tells you this. You have no idea what the hell you are doing and when your baby latches on, you will most likely holler out in pain. Soon your nipples may get blisters, cracked, bloodied, and swollen. You leak everywhere. On top of everything else, your baby doesn't know what to do either. Both of you are learning, and this can be very frustrating for both of you! All you want to yell is "JUST EAT, DAMN IT, EAT!". You end up feeling like a bad mother and hating yourself. But don't, the 1st two weeks are the hardest.

Now, this "all or none" theory with breast feeding is ridiculous. When I say this I mean that you can only breast feed or only formula feed. That is stupid. There is no reason to feel guilty if you chose to do both. Any amount of breast milk is good for your baby. Formula is not bad for your baby. Your baby may need help gaining weight or you may not be able to produce enough breast milk. I have even met mothers whose children didn't like breast milk and only wanted formula.

I think that all this mommy judgement needs to end and we just need to support each other! Power to the mommies!

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Pump it out!

Breast feeding has many benefits. Such as, your body produces breast milk designed for your baby specifically, your milk has nutrients not found in formula, better bonding with baby, weight loss, and more breaks! Many mama's who choose to breast feed and return to work, typically pump while at work. Speaking of, that is what I am doing right now! It is law that places of business have allow you to breast pump as often as you need. However, don't take advantage and don't be bullied into pumping less, every one to three hours is appropriate to keep your production up. Also be sure to spend at least 20 min pumping to completely empty your breasts. If you find that you seem to be producing less than usual, try eating oatmeal, fenugreek supplements, and brewers yeast supplements. Also be sure to drink plenty of water. These tricks have worked for me! Happy pumping mamas!

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My daughter

Don’t worry Dolly, I will protect you #100happydays #elliejune #futuremotherhen #protectorofthedolls

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Today, Aiden once again acted out. This time he punched some kid in the face. Upon speaking to his mother, she believes he has behavioral problems. Mostly she is thinking its the autism thing.

When she talked to me, she was distressed that I didn’t think he is behaving abnormally. To me, I...

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kids head vs. the wall

So Kenny received a text from his ex-wife saying that Aiden had gotten into trouble at the camp she has him in. Aiden had apparently bounced a kid's head off a wall. Of course, she didn't tell us why he did it.

When you find out that one of your kids has been acting out, it concerns you. I have my theories on why Aiden has been misbehaving. One theory is that he doesn't like being far away from Kenny. Kenny is the only one who seems to understand Aiden and how he works. I should mention that Aiden may possibly be on the Autism spectrum. He has some of the clinical manifestations seen in Autistic children.

My second theory is all the change Aiden has seen in the last year. Aiden first stopped seeing Bella everyday. Liz took her away when she discovered Kenny was actually in love with me. Then I moved into the townhouse with him and Kenny. Next, Liz left without so much as a how do you do. Thirdly, I gave birth to Ellie. Even though he has made the transition into being an older sibling. However, introducing a new child into the world of a child could be upsetting. Aiden did handle it like a champ. We didn't have many outbursts of anger. He gave so much love and attention to Ellie.

The fourth part of my theory, Aiden had to go spend time with his mother and Jess, her girlfriend. Aiden has a deep disliking for Jess because she is mean to him. On top of that, Liz had given birth to Charlee. Going to into the family structure he had known and having it changed is upsetting. That and Kenny isn't there. So much change for his has led to his acting out.

I know that once he is back in his house, with his stable environment, he will go back to normal. I miss him so much and he just needs to be home.

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A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's ~ Diana, Princess of Wales

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Making the decision to have a child- it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone

For some, it's decision to keep the baby or adopt the baby. Either way, being a parent is scary, surreal, and beautiful in one chaotic package

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Brings new meaning to the "mommy" name

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Sleeping Baby

What is truly the best thing in being a mother? I don’t think that I will ever find one particular thing. I know one of my top ones is the sleeping baby. Kenny and I just have Ellie in the house at the moment. She has been enough to keep us busy and exhaust us. Therefore, when we are able to get her to sleep, we are in total heaven. Her soft snores, her continuous chest rise and fall give such pleasure of silence in the room. Looking at the sleeping daughter I created brings about thoughts of an angel at rest. Each moment that passes, brings back a sense of peace.

When she awakens once again, more joy washes over me. Because, though the sleeping baby brings this mama so much joy, it is more joyous to see your rested baby happy, giggling, and smiling.

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1st mommyhood blog

Well hello! Bear with me because this is my first blog and I want to give an intimate look into being a mama at 22 years old with one baby and 3 stepchildren. My 3 stepchildren are my 8 year old boy, Aiden, my soon-to-be 4 year old daughter, Bella, my 3 month old daughter Charlee, and my biological 2 month old daughter, Novella (Ellie) June.

I better clear up some confusion. My boyfriend is the father to my biological daughter. So yes, that would mean that he got Charlee's (and Aiden and Bella's) mother pregnant and then got me pregnant. Can someone say, " COMPLICATED"!!!

Prepare for more complication. Liz, the mother to the other 3, is Kenny's ex-wife. They were married. when they had Aiden. They were divorced when she got pregnant with Bella, oh and Bella is not his biological daughter. Liz decided she wanted another baby, so she lied to Kenny, telling him she was on birth control, then conceived Charlee. PS, I should also mention that Liz is a "lesbian".

Now this will take the Complication Cake. Liz and I were friends. She was the one who introduced me to Kenny, and pushed towards getting into a relationship all the while she was attempting to get preggers. When Kenny discovered she was pregnant, he attempted to end things with me  to preserve my friendship with Liz and try to give the kids some stability. Well, I am a persistent girl, badabing, we got back together and conceived Miss Ellie.

Like I said, complicated. I promise, I am not a bad person. Of course, reading this, I sound like a crazy. I promise, I am not, at least not too crazy.

I love all the kids, all my kids. I strive to treat all the kids like my own. I strive to integrate all the kiddos into my life. Being a child of similar complications, I desire to be the stability my kids deserve.

Now, the I have revealed more than anyone needs to know about a person, you all know what to expect from my Mommyhood blog. It is an intimate look at my journey through mommy-hood and step-mommy-hood. Prepare for the complication!!!