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mwahaha, glad I picked such a good one! 🤣💚

Iolaus: I didn’t want to do this, but I know one way we can get the money.

Jason: You’d make a decent prostitute.

Iolaus: I’d make an AMAZING prostitute, but I was actually talking about this guy I know.

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Hercules: My sword? Fuck yeah I know how to use it. What's to understand about swish-swish-stab? It's a fuckin' sword dude, it's not a fighter jet.

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Cheiron: Iolaus, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

Iolaus: Ooh, someone's in trouble!

Iolaus: It's me - I don't know why I said that.

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Fiducius: The thing about youth culture is...

Fiducius: ...I don't understand it.

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Kora to Hercules: Would you please not Iolaus this into a situation worse than it already is?

Iolaus: Hang on, did you just use my name as a verb?

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Iolaus: Did you get my report on the Kingdom of Cirilia?

Fiducius: Yeah, I looked it over. Nice work.

Iolaus: Thanks dad... Why is everyone staring at me?

Hercules: You just called Fiducius "Dad". You said, 'Thanks, dad.'

Iolaus: What? No, I didn't. I said 'Thanks, man.'

Fiducius: Do you see me as a father figure, Iolaus?

Iolaus: No, if anything I see you as a bother figure cause you're always bothering me!

Jason: Hey, show your father some respect.

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Iolaus: Ain’t no party like a Corinthian birthday party, ‘cause a Corinthian birthday party is a total surprise to everyone!

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Jason: I think your calculations may have been off. Iolaus: Well, they can’t be off if you don’t do any.

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Cheiron: [to the guys] I have total faith in you. Cheiron: [to the camera] There's, like, a 30% chance they'll both die.

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Lilith: You're a professional thief?

Iolaus: More a vocation than a profession; other people's property just comes naturally to me.

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Charon: People always ask me how I pronounce my name. CHA-ron or Cha-RON? I always tell them the same thing: How dare you speak to me.

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Iolaus: I didn't want to do this, but I know one way we can get the money.

Jason: You'd make a decent prostitute.

Iolaus: I'd make an AMAZING prostitute, but I was actually talking about this guy I know.

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Ares: So, how long have you two been together?

Lilith: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He and I are not together. No. No.

Hercules: Really? Sixteen "no"s? Really?

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Jason: I think your calculations may have been off. Iolaus: Well, they can't be off if you don't do any.

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Iolaus: Would you consider us adorable? Jason: No! We’re adult men. We’re cute.

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Jason: They spit fire? How come no one tells me this stuff? How come no one tells me they spit fire?

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Cheiron: Lesson Number One: Sometimes to gain ground you need to slow down. Nysus Gaius: That doesn’t make sense. Hercules: Never expect sense from a centaur.