hopiakasi

[hopiakasi]

I will find my own happiness I'm on the look out for my much-awaited happiness. For past months I was relying on your attention for a three second smile on my face that couldn't even reach my eyes. I thought you were the one. I loved you, yes. I think I still do. But no, it's over now. I don't wanna waste my life waiting for someone who will never love me the way I do. It's a harsh realization that knocked me senseless but it is what I am needing. Something that will wake me up from lucid intervals. Something that will shake and make me realize that you are a bad investment. I invested a lot. Effort, time, attention, affection...emotions. Wherein I shouldn't on the first place. And now, I realized, if I invested those things on someone else but you, maybe I am happier? Maybe I will be appreciated. Maybe I wouldn't suffer from those shitty feelings you dumped on me. Yes, the emotional burdens you dragged me to suffer because you are too fragile to suffer alone. And I willingly suffered with you. Those women, they've been dragging you down and you just let them. Worse is that, you're pulling me with you. And since I love you, I went with your emotional rollercoaster ride. I screamed silently each time. I cried nightly because I cared a lot to leave. I prayed, begged rather that you'll find your happiness. Thinking that if you are happy, my own happiness follows. Like a fool I am. Like earth revolving around the sun, wishing for a bit of sunshine. While I was wishing for some warmth, you are busy hoping for the distant stars. Looking up at the sky at night, during lonely walks towards home, I realized it is not always the sun I am looking for. I don't need the warm sunshine that will leave me too to freeze when the time gets tough. I forget to look for the moonbeam to light my darkest path and on the roughest road. And I'm looking for that beam that might lead me to happiness and away from you. I know, I'll find it soon. Because no one holds the key to my own happiness except me. If letting you go is what our fate decides, I conceed. Because I'm not begging for your love. Never will I do. If forgetting you will make us happy, no matter how hard, I will. Love should be freely given. And you can't. Because you never wanted to. I gave a lot. I crossed the entire ocean, not just the bridge but you just uncomfortably watched from the safe shore. So now, I learned. That my happiness doesn't depend on you. That I can be my own sunshine. That I can walk safely with just moonbeams guiding me because I have faith. I leave everything to God. I won't cry anymore. I won't get depressed and get drunk to oblivion. I will stay sober because I know I'm about to find my happiness. Thank you for everything. And Goodbye for good. I will still include you in my prayers. Be happy.

[hopiakasi]

I will find my own happiness

I’m on the look out for my much-awaited happiness. For past months I was relying on your attention for a three second smile on my face that couldn’t even reach my eyes. I thought you were the one. I loved you, yes. I think I still do. But no, it’s over now. I don’t wanna waste my life waiting for someone who will never love me the way I do. It’s a harsh realization that knocked me senseless but it is what I am needing. Something that will wake me up from lucid intervals. Something that will shake and make me realize that you are a bad investment. I invested a lot. Effort, time, attention, affection…emotions. Wherein I shouldn’t on the first place. And now, I realized, if I invested those things on someone else but you, maybe I am happier? Maybe I wouldn’t suffer from those shitty feelings you dumped on me. Yes, the emotional burdens you dragged me to suffer because you are too fragile to suffer alone. And I willingly suffered with you. Those women, they’ve been dragging you down and you just let them. Worse is that, you’re pulling me with you. And since I love you, I went with your emotional rollercoaster ride. I screamed silently each time. I cried nightly because I cared a lot to leave. I prayed, begged rather that you’ll find your happiness. Thinking that if you are happy, my own happiness follows. Like a fool I am. Like earth revolving around the sun, wishing for a bit of sunshine. While I was wishing for some warmth, you are busy hoping for the distant stars. Looking up at the sky at night, during lonely walks towards home, I realized it is not always the sun I am looking for. I don’t need the warm sunshine that will leave me too to freeze when the time gets tough. I forget to look for the moonbeam to light my darkest path and on the roughest road. And I’m looking for that beam that might lead me to happiness and away from you. I know, I’ll find it soon. Because no one holds the key to my own happiness except me. If letting you go is what our fate decides, I conceed. Because I’m not begging for your love. Never will I do. If forgetting you will make us happy, no matter how hard, I will. Love should be freely given. And you can’t. Because you never wanted to. I gave a lot. I crossed the entire ocean, not just the bridge but you just uncomfortably watched from the safe shore. So now, I learned. That my happiness doesn’t depend on you. That I can be my own sunshine. That I can walk safely with just moonbeams guiding me because I have faith. I leave everything to God. I won’t cry anymore. I won’t get depressed and get drunk to oblivion. I will stay sober because I know I’m about to find my happiness. Thank you for everything. And Goodbye for good. I will still include you in my prayers. Be happy.

[hopiakasi]

I will find my own happiness

I’m on the look out for my much-awaited happiness. For past months I was relying on your attention for a three second smile on my face that couldn’t even reach my eyes. I thought you were the one. I loved you, yes. I think I still do. But no, it’s over now. I don’t wanna waste my life waiting for someone who will never love me the way I do. It’s a harsh realization that knocked me senseless but it is what I am needing. Something that will wake me up from lucid intervals. Something that will shake and make me realize that you are a bad investment. I invested a lot. Effort, time, attention, affection…emotions. Wherein I shouldn’t on the first place. And now, I realized, if I invested those things on someone else but you, maybe I am happier? Maybe I wouldn’t suffer from those shitty feelings you dumped on me. Yes, the emotional burdens you dragged me to suffer because you are too fragile to suffer alone. And I willingly suffered with you. Those women, they’ve been dragging you down and you just let them. Worse is that, you’re pulling me with you. And since I love you, I went with your emotional rollercoaster ride. I screamed silently each time. I cried nightly because I cared a lot to leave. I prayed, begged rather that you’ll find your happiness. Thinking that if you are happy, my own happiness follows. Like a fool I am. Like earth revolving around the sun, wishing for a bit of sunshine. While I was wishing for some warmth, you are busy hoping for the distant stars. Looking up at the sky at night, during lonely walks towards home, I realized it is not always the sun I am looking for. I don’t need the warm sunshine that will leave me too to freeze when the time gets tough. I forget to look for the moonbeam to light my darkest path and on the roughest road. And I’m looking for that beam that might lead me to happiness and away from you. I know, I’ll find it soon. Because no one holds the key to my own happiness except me. If letting you go is what our fate decides, I conceed. Because I’m not begging for your love. Never will I do. If forgetting you will make us happy, no matter how hard, I will. Love should be freely given. And you can’t. Because you never wanted to. I gave a lot. I crossed the entire ocean, not just the bridge but you just uncomfortably watched from the safe shore. So now, I learned. That my happiness doesn’t depend on you. That I can be my own sunshine. That I can walk safely with just moonbeams guiding me because I have faith. I leave everything to God. I won’t cry anymore. I won’t get depressed and get drunk to oblivion. I will stay sober because I know I’m about to find my happiness. Thank you for everything. And Goodbye for good. I will still include you in my prayers. Be happy.

[hopiakasi]

I will find my own happiness

I’m on the look out for my much-awaited happiness. For past months I was relying on your attention for a three second smile on my face that couldn’t even reach my eyes. I thought you were the one. I loved you, yes. I think I still do. But no, it’s over now. I don’t wanna waste my life waiting for someone who will never love me the way I do. It’s a harsh realization that knocked me senseless but it is what I am needing. Something that will wake me up from lucid intervals. Something that will shake and make me realize that you are a bad investment. I invested a lot. Effort, time, attention, affection…emotions. Wherein I shouldn’t on the first place. And now, I realized, if I invested those things on someone else but you, maybe I am happier? Maybe I wouldn’t suffer from those shitty feelings you dumped on me. Yes, the emotional burdens you dragged me to suffer because you are too fragile to suffer alone. And I willingly suffered with you. Those women, they’ve been dragging you down and you just let them. Worse is that, you’re pulling me with you. And since I love you, I went with your emotional rollercoaster ride. I screamed silently each time. I cried nightly because I cared a lot to leave. I prayed, begged rather that you’ll find your happiness. Thinking that if you are happy, my own happiness follows. Like a fool I am. Like earth revolving around the sun, wishing for a bit of sunshine. While I was wishing for some warmth, you are busy hoping for the distant stars. Looking up at the sky at night, during lonely walks towards home, I realized it is not always the sun I am looking for. I don’t need the warm sunshine that will leave me too to freeze when the time gets tough. I forget to look for the moonbeam to light my darkest path and on the roughest road. And I’m looking for that beam that might lead me to happiness and away from you. I know, I’ll find it soon. Because no one holds the key to my own happiness except me. If letting you go is what our fate decides, I conceed. Because I’m not begging for your love. Never will I do. If forgetting you will make us happy, no matter how hard, I will. Love should be freely given. And you can’t. Because you never wanted to. I gave a lot. I crossed the entire ocean, not just the bridge but you just uncomfortably watched from the safe shore. So now, I learned. That my happiness doesn’t depend on you. That I can be my own sunshine. That I can walk safely with just moonbeams guiding me because I have faith. I leave everything to God. I won’t cry anymore. I won’t get depressed and get drunk to oblivion. I will stay sober because I know I’m about to find my happiness. Thank you for everything. And Goodbye for good. I will still include you in my prayers. Be happy.

[hopiakasi]

[hopiakasi]

I don’t know if this makes me selfish but I want to be your favourite. I want to be the person you go to when you’re happy or the first one you call when you feel broken at 2 am. I don’t want to be someone’s go to when others aren’t available. I don’t want someone to have deep conversations with at 12 am and the next day, be ignored for someone else. I don’t want to be used. I want to be seen. I want to be chosen. I want somebody else to believe that I’m special. I want somebody else to believe that I’m worthy. Because I already know it, I’m just waiting for someone else to see it.

dreamcatcher-777, Do you see it too? Then stop standing in the shadows and show me. (via wordsnquotes)

hmmm

[hopiakasi]

iiyak iyak ka dahil pinagpalit ka niya. dahil yung closeness at sweetness nyo dati nagbago na. bakit naging kayo ba? wooh!!! cry me a river, beshie. bago mag assume, check the label. baka malanding ugnayan na may malabong usapan lang yan. itigil na hanggat hindi ka pa tuluyang nafofall ng todo. kumunoy na naman ng paasa yan. mahirap pa naman umahon mula dyan. trust me. kagagaling ko lang dyan. eto nga puro putik pa ako ng punyetang paasang nakaraan.

hopia

[hopiakasi]

comfort woman lang???

[hopiakasi]

umaasang babalikan. yun nga lang, hindi naman pinangakuan.