heartflownwrites

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howdy folks… long time no talk… i promised i’d explain Why i’m here… after MONTHS of being absent… and so yeah- here i am. 

so in the time i’ve been gone… a lot has changed in my life, and the major explanation for my absence is i simply haven’t had the time to focus on these things… and in the last couple of months, i’ve actually been on the opposite side of the country, doing an internship. it’s been an amazing experience, and i’m actually currently looking for a job here since the internship ended this past week. have an interview tomorrow even, which is cool.

BUT- why i’m on here now, saying all this, is a friend of mine i’ve made in the time i’ve been absent, was talking to me regarding writing styles and such and the narratives influencing the way you write them… and idk how many of y’all remember or knew that i wrote aus/fic… beyond the whole uh- media analysis stuff i used to do on here and enjoyed for a while… bc i don’t think i tended to publicize that here much… 

but if you’re someone who did know that, you probably remember my biggest / most in depth au… xoxo… a project that i was reminded of GREATLY by my conversation with my friend tonight. now i feel bad leaving All of my aus unfinished like that, it was truly never my intention to abandon any of my work, life just… got in the way. but i feel especially sad over xoxo… and this is me getting on my tumblr blog that i haven’t used in ages besides that day we thought twitter might go down. and hadn’t touched in so long before that… 

saying that, i think i’m gonna try to get back into writing xoxo… and i think i’m going to make a concerted effort to finish it. i don’t know when the next update is going to be. i don’t know if i will 100% finish this au. but i do know i want to try to write it again. because i miss it. and i miss the lovely people i would talk about it with. and if even a handful of them are still interested in the story- or even 1 or 2… that would be worth it for me. and hey, maybe it’ll find some new readers too. which honestly- could make it all that much more fulfilling.

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for the sake of everyone who Doesn’t know what i’m talking about but is interested or needs/wants reminding / wants to reread her…

LINK HERE

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after listening to lavender haze, i think you all might be getting another xoxo… one shot from me- i DO plan on getting a real update out soon for that, but i am inspired rn

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xoxo... sneak peek! ( @notnatnut )

chapter thirty or thirty one (i started writing this one first, but i feel like i ought to put the rini dinner date first since that’s what everyone’s been waiting for...)

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Elijah had known Valerie to be reliable company. He supposed she'd had to be, but she was also just delicate enough for everyone to admire her the way a young woman in her position should wish to be. And all the ways they shouldn't admire her too.

The pretty blonde heiress he'd watched be escorted by the much taller Quinn Rosen at her debut was everything a crowd would want to watch, because she had only pretty tears in her eyes as she couldn't be greeted by her father like the others were when she finally sat down. She was still smiling. And her makeup didn't budge an inch.

He can't cry like that. Hasn't been taught to be allowed to cry at all, and when he does it certainly doesn't inspire a love that truly just means pity.

They feel sorry for her and he knows she knows it. Elijah also knows some man somewhere is going to be thrilled to have her fortune joined to his one day. She's her father's sole heir and he comes from old money. Her male cousin would take on the management of the larger Campbell family fortune.

All Valerie would ever have to do is be pretty.

Maybe she's the beautiful little fool Daisy hoped her daughter would be in The Great Gatsby.

But no. No Valerie Campbell has had too much grief in her life for that.

After his night with Lily, he needs to remember how much of a person all the people in his life were. How much bigger than him everything was. Bigger than Nina too.

His world was small, in a very real sense. Even when his father took him along on some international business trip, things existed within a very small realm of places and people. The people outside of his circle didn't tend to get very far into his psyche, and while Valerie definitely had status at Chapman Hillside, she didn't work so hard to use and maintain that the way their friend group did. She was friends with them, Elijah's pretty sure he's danced with her a song or two at a few functions before, but she wasn't one of them.

But she wasn't a fool. He could know that much. She'd be allowed to be one, was more his initial thought than that she actually was.

He has to be smart and put together and never anything less than a strong, cunning man who keeps his cool.

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what full length au do you want a sneak peek of the next chapter for?

i’ll do one or two i think! just pop in my replies or my ask box :)

i’m sorry i haven’t posted updates lately i’ve just been busy. i have been writing though

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it’s interesting because someone said to me that folded ricky and lily’s relationship has similar vibes to xoxo… richard and lily’s and lowkey that’s very true. there are a bunch of different layers to both situations, but the sort of connection that’s going on is very similar.

physicality + friendship + maybe a layer of convenience… and then maybe just a hint of something beyond that that won’t be allowed to go anywhere

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just so everyone knows, nina mentioning valerie in the last chapter wasn’t a throwaway line.

she may be at yale, nina’s right about that, but she is lily’s cousin, and the elite care a lot about family… plus if elijah needs more perspective on life outside the elite, outside nina, maybe someone a year older and with some experience with the real world and how screwed up the universe can be… a conversation with her could bring something to his life.

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i was driving and listening to stuff on one of my spotify daily mix playlists and idk but i almost want nina to just snap and have her “what the hell” by avril lavigne moment…

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