fictionnkinn

[fictionnkinn]

Been loosely entertaining the idea of me having some form of _really mild_ (if such a thing exists) dissociative type of disorder. It feels disrespectful to me, no matter what symptoms I have, to act as though I have something that prolonged trauma causes, when I do not have the prolonged trauma necessarily to warrant such a thing. I believe I'm a naturally dissociative person, and I believe that perhaps that, in combination with other things, could be mimicking some sort of personality based disorder. I fit almost every symptom of OSDD1b but part of me tries to go "no, that's a Tumblr/TikTok trend, the doc is going to laugh you out of the building if you bring it up-" which is likely mostly my social anxiety, but uhg..... Mental health and a lack thereof is lame

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my serial killers having completely different motivations and moral codes like: Afton: "Anyone could be pushed to do what I did. I did everything I did out of love and grief. Had my son never died, no one ever would have gotten hurt. But anyone could be pushed that far. It's just part of being human." Alastor: "Are you out of your mind?! Had I not been born afflicted with a desire to harm, I imagine I never could have hurt a fly! People aren't "pushed" to do what we did, we're born this way. And you, you hurt children, which is unacceptable by any standard. You might be crazier than I am, and I know I'm unwell!"

Me: Autism creature in the corner vibrating while listening to all this go on in the background

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Absolutely wild to me that there are small children and teens out there who relate to "my" character enough to kin "me". If you're one of those children, I hope desperately that you don't remember what I remember in the detail I remember it in.

-William Afton [prefers interaction from 18+]

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if I had a nickel for every time I voted for the potential first female president over trump and trump won I’d had two nickels and it’s really fucking fucked up that it happened twice

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Last couple of days have been Afton days. Lots of memories. I'd probably be able to answer questions/talk about it if anyone was curious about my canon. I was remembering things as far back as when I was a child, today. "Fredbear's Singin' Show" era, even. I would also be curious to hear any other adults' experiences in their own canons.

Just as a heads up, I'm an adult(an old one at that), and when in this shift I tend to type/talk a bit like a boomer, so don't take that personally!

It's strange to think that there were versions of me out there who were so vastly different. It honestly pains me to know that versions of "me" abused my kids. I mean, I'm sure I participated in emotional abuse, and we all know how it ended, that's _definitely_ abuse, but on a daily basis, I mean. I also still don't understand the motivation, not only in the books, but in some other kins too. I never would have done any of the horrible things I did if I didn't love my son. Doubles welcome if 18+.

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I adore how Matthew Lillard plays Afton so far. It's not accurate to my canon at all, but I really enjoy it as a viewer! I would give anything to see him play Afton in a serious R rated long form version of the game events. Imagine him written like Walter White was written. A version of him that gets viewers rooting for him, even long after it's still logical OR ethical to do so. Imagine Lillard playing this man and we're 4 hour long episodes into the show before we get to watch him lose his temper for real for the first time. Imagine the whole fandom discussing, much like the Breaking Bad fandom does, at what point you stop agreeing with his actions. Most people kept rooting for Walter White even after he did awful things, up until some certain point. I want so badly to see a drawn out, realistic, long form depiction of Afton's actions in the game universe, where he's actually got real motivations. I want us as viewers to see him grieve his son and be distraught over it and then receive that glimmer of hope via the knowledge of life after death. I want to see the fandom all arguing over if he could possibly have been redeemed after Charlie's mistake of a murder if he'd shaped up. (The answer is no, but the discussions would be VERY interesting.) I want others to argue that his actions that follow clearly mean that he couldn't be redeemed. I want to see fans argue that he was "pushed" into his actions, and I want to see other fans paint him as the devil despite how nuanced the writing and performance is. I want scenes of him being a good dad, like we get on occasion in Breaking Bad! Please god someone give me William Afton being written as a human being and not a mustache twirling Disney supervillain.

[fictionnkinn]

Sometimes the best way to heal is just to go completely off the rails and become batshit insane

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Another difference between the main FNAF canons (there are too many), and MY canon, was the way the spring lock suits were designed. In the main book canon from what I can tell, and likely the main game AND movie canon, the endoskeletons are actually a part of the spring lock suits themselves. In my canon, they were separate. The endoskeletons for the original Bonnie and Fredbear were bolted to the floor, like at Chuck E Cheese. The purpose of the actual locks in the suits was to attach them to a pre-existing endoskeleton. That helped with a lot of things. They were wearable of course, but they could also be attached to ANY compatible endoskeleton. That meant that Henry could make new ones to put the old suits onto, and even meant the endoskeletons were somewhat interchangeable. The reason they were so dangerous is that they needed to have enough force to lock the suit and the metal framing inside it onto the endoskeleton securely enough that when the endoskeleton moved, the suit wouldn't come loose. That's what was forcing it's way through your flesh if the locks went off.

They looked something like those large binder clips.

Like this except for springs instead of (or on top of?) squeezing them open. There were springs behind the clips that were wound tight and then locked into place in the suit to keep them from getting in the way. When the spring locks failed, that binder clip style shape would, at incredibly high speeds, attach to the square-ish rebar material used to make up the endoskeletons. See how once it's clipped on, it'd take a great force to detach it again? The suits, in the beginning, were considered mostly safe. It was so rare that one of the locks would fail. Anyway. The endo was not inside the suit in my canon.

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my favorite picture ever is the one that says “HELL IS FULL, BITCH” and then it has the national suicide prevention hotline on it. it makes me smile every time 

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Sometimes I remember this and the memory itself jumpscares me

Throwback to the timestamped photo I have of me saying this to my friend on Discord 5ish months before the movie came out. I had been trying to play through Help WantedVR (I did not succeed)

I don't even kin "movie" Afton.....

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so uh why is it that Undertale feels distinctly like _home_ but Deltarune feels more like a book set in a similar place to my hometown but that's so distinctly different that it goes from being reminiscent of the feeling of home to feeling uncomfortably different? 1-800-who-am-i-kinning

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With the power of adhd you can do two halves of different chores and then sit down again instead of finishing either 👍

[fictionnkinn]

guyyysss…. Halloweens coming up.. you know what means… being able to dress up as your kin and no one cares!!

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Explaining why I can't relate to blorboposting: