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Or water fountains, public washrooms, outdoors tables, etc, etc

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If Taylor Swift used her power for good she would be such a great stochastic terrorist. She would post on Instagram "Hey guys, Tay here. Just wanted to say that whoever delivers me the head of Ron DeSantis on a platter will get free Eras Tour tickets. #ShadeNeverMadeAnybodyLessGay." It would be at her doorstep in two hours.

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my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

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Crowley shifting into protective husband mode

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I’ve decided that all bats fall somewhere on this horrid little graph I’ve devised. Here are some prime examples of the various Creature Varieties found in nature.

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⚔️

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Future Grandkid: Grandpa, what was it like when Obama was president?

Me: Aah, yes… the Homestuck President.

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noah fence but how do ppl 5′5″ and under like survive….

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throwback to last month when i fell asleep on the couch and when i woke up my first instinct was to take a pic of my cat sleeping across me but ended up flashbanging her instead