expectingrose

[expectingrose]

I had a meeting with my therapist today. It helps, talk to someone if you need to. I cannot claim to be in the right head space to help and talk, I am also not a professional. So talk to these nice people. You can always hang up if it's not going as you planned.

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: (877) 565-8860 (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: (888) 843-4564

Trevor Project: Call (866) 488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[expectingrose]

I don't like posting political things, but honestly, if you voted for that fucking fool get off my page. Unfollow me. Good bye. Have the life you deserve.

If you voted trump unfollow me

[expectingrose]

I am amarican, not feeling well today. There is a lot of grief and disassociation going on. So just letting you guys know if my mood is more active or manic that is why.

Stay kinky friends.

P.S. to all my american friends and mutual (and lurkers) stay with us. We need you here. This isn't over, just time to armor up.

[expectingrose]

*Kicks down a wall like the Kool-Aid-man*

I'm here, I'm queer, and I don't know for how long but that's life.

Do I have story updates? Probably not.

Am I about to start shit posting and finally repsonding to all the asks in my mail box. Hopefully.

Am I returning because all these hot fucking butch lesbians I am suddenly following got me feeling some kind of way (like I am back in high school and my panties are always wet)

Absolutely!!!

P.s. I miss my friends so you know just looking for community as well.

[expectingrose]

To my readers:

If your comment is long and rambling and full of quotes you enjoyed, I will love it.

If your comment is full of story related questions, I will love it.

If your comment is a single sentence, I will love it.

If your comment is a single emoji, or a string of them, I will love it.

If you comment, I will love it. It's that simple.

[expectingrose]

Please by all means take me away!

If you're nonbinary with a preg kink, you're honestly so hot. Gonna collect you to my charming castle in the snow-covered woods.

[expectingrose]

I could not agree with this more!!! It's amazing! Also being outside, taking naps, and having snacks is incredible!

Honestly it's fine to be sex obsessed. It's fine to rail your own ass once a day. It's fine to be ace. It's fine to not want sex even mentioned. It's fine to be kinky. It's fine to want gross or dangerous or unethical things to happen to you. It's fine to be vanilla. Do what you want. I'm tired of everyone nitpicking eachother. Go outside. Take a nap. Have a snack.

[expectingrose]

Someone man handle cuddle me like this!!!

[expectingrose]

Consent is kinky! Consent is sexy!

TW below the line mentions of SA

I have been SA by 3 different people! Each time I was gaslit into thinking "it wasn't that bad." "It was just a new experience." "You wanted it!"

It took me a long time to come to terms that people I loved had actually knowingly hurt me. I said pretty much all of these things. They didn't stop. They were unwilling to hear my no.

The sickest thing: Each instance still haunts me to this day. For them it's probably a memory they keep in their spank bank.

Not to show my age but #metoo.

I'm older, braver, and wiser. I can stand up for myself and my own consent. I want to impower others to do the same. If you don't know what to say ASK. If you can't say anything Walk Away!

Play Safe, Stay Kinky, Use your voice.

Be you but remember 👆

[expectingrose]

I had an experience that left me feeling like a poet.

There are some people in life you just click with. Easy to laugh with, and talking is never a chore. Their face is familiar, even when you are seeing them for the first time. They cannot make a wrong expression, every unique twist of their face paints a vague picture of what is in their mind. If only you knew what was in their mind!

The quickly become a person you bare your soul too, and sometimes your body, in those dark nights that vow to keep secrets.

They make you feel comfortable. They make you feel safe. They do not have to be a lover, or be related, they could just be a friend.

In the back of the mind one thinks, perhaps they will only be around for a season in my life. If that is true, I pray that season stays with you, tattooed on your heart. I hope the memories bring a smile to your face each time they cross your mind.

However, if they stand the test of time. If they become a constant in your life. Then lady luck has truly found favor with you. Hold them tight. Maybe not physically, but never lose that spark. That giddiness that takes you back to teenage years of rebels and renegades. Bask in your similarities and learn from each other.

You will be surprised which moments stay with you. Keep dreaming, perhaps one day you can touch their skin as easily as they touch your heart.

[expectingrose]

I would have absolutely killed to have a birthing stool yesterday! This is an amazing artical from a midwife on the importance of a birthing stool.

Birthing stools have fallen out of fashion in the mainstream. It's hard to come by one to purchase for yourself.

Before Doctors Dominated the labor and delivery scene, midwives were (and to be honest still are) the experts. Labor, delivery and birth was womens work. Midwives were such a valuable and necessary asset to life, towns and villages sprung up around midwives.

(In my educated opinion) Doctors in birthing hospitals are there to get the job done. As quick as possible getting these women and babies in and out, in order to turn over the bed and have the next woman come in. In my experience they would rather be in total control. Having the birthing mother in the position most convenient for the doctor (on their back, with an epidural).

Midwives are the complete opposite. As long as mother and baby are safe mom is free to labor and take her time. Allowing mom to change positions and encouraging her to find inner strength.

Anyway, all that to say, I want a birthing stool. Here is a great artical the spurred this whole thing.

Birth stool education post

[expectingrose]

Egg-citing Egg-perience

TW: Oviposition, labor, birth, doubt, struggle, unassisted, unmedicated. RL experience. Blood. Menstruation. 

One day I maybe brave enough to talk about my true birth experience. But lets just say it wasn’t what I wanted or had in mind when I imagined laboring with my own baby. So when I say today I got the opportunity to prove to myself that I am strong enough to endure at least a taste of labor and birth, one could understand how important that could be.

I have been wanting to get some push toys for a while. My hubby got me some eggs for Mother’s Day and they came a little early and I was eager to try it out. While my hubby doesn’t have a breeding kink (and shys away from birth play after the birth of our little one.), I do have a friend I met through tumblr who has the same intense birthing kink I do!

So as soon as the eggs came in, we set up a time to get on the phone so he could coach me through pushing out my new toys.

Of course I had a myriad of toys at the ready and lube. I was pumped and confident that I could push out the two little eggs no problem. Boy was I wrong!!!

Shortly after my coach came on the call I slipped the egg inside. It felt so good. Even though it was the small soft one it felt amazing sliding through my birth canal. Stretching as it made it’s way inside. What I wasn’t counting on was that it was so small, and my body was so eager to cradle and care for it, that it slipped right into my cervix and into my womb. I can already hear the haters ‘no way, the cervix is way to small for that to happen’. Well when a woman is menstruating it opens nice and wide for the tissue and blood to get through… yeah did I mention I did this on my period. It was messy!

It was fun to push and hold my vibrator right against my clit. It felt amazing to be filled and to be pushing something out… except it wasn’t coming out. About 20 minutes in I started to become worried. I didn’t have a back up plan if I couldn’t get it out. Word to the wise put it in a damn condom so you can pull it out if you have to.

So here I was, pushing with everything I had. Not feeling any movement. Each time I checked on the egg, putting my fingers deeper than I ever had before. It was still in the same spot nestled in my womb.

When I started to panic my coach would remind me to breathe. He had me try all kinds of different positions, I went from laying on my back, to kneeling on the bed. Going on the floor and squatting, even leaning on a small stool I have. Nothing seemed to work. My pubic bone was sitting so low, that the wrong position would just close off my birth canal.

I kept pushing, using all my might. I was getting exhausted.

My coach was a rockstar! Keeping me calm, asking how I was feeling, asking where the egg was. He was so calm and confident that I could do it. He kept telling me my affirmations, and counting my pushes. But we were both hyper aware that he was thousands of miles away and if worse came to worse I would be walking around with an egg in my vagina all day. He helped me laugh it off and made the worst case scenario sound kinky. Which helped me relax.

At one point I was lying exhausted on the bed. Seriously worried if a very embarrassing ER visit was in my future. My coach was encouraging me to take a break and breathe. I did, then checked on the egg.

That was when my coach in a stroke of genius asked me a question I hadn’t even considered. He asked which way the egg was facing. Luckily the egg was textured so I could figure out the orientation just by feel.

The DAMN thing was BREECH! It was laying completely on it’s side with the widest part trying to push it’s way out first. No wonder I wasn’t getting any progress!! I was so relieved that we figured that out I felt like crying.

But I had a job to do. So I focused and went to work. It took a while and I was still exhausted, but with the tip of my fingernail, I was able to encourage a rotation. My coach talked me through it, telling me what an amazing job I was doing. I felt so focused. I was going to get this egg out!

My coach and I talked about how this was just the first step. This was training for a much bigger and better event. One day I would be struggling against a bundle of Joy.

It took a while but I was able to rotate it most of the way around. So in a “Smart” (not smart, dumb… what I did next was super dumb.) So I took my dildo and used to to rotate it the rest of the way. Which worked… except I wedged it into my right hip… I was starting to panic again. I was worried about timing. I had to get my real baby up, and I was keeping my coach from sleep. But he never once mentioned timing told me That this was just for me and I was doing amazing.

I laid on my left side and played with my clit till I orgasumed. Of course my coach helped me with that too. It did the trick the egg slid back into place. I could feel that it was in the perfect position now. I just had to push it into my birth canal. I was using my fingers to spread myself as best I could. I was in the home stretch I knew it, I just had to get it down.

Finally I started to feel it move down. Fuck it felt good entering my birth canal. But after each mighty push it would slip back down. I was on my back so gravity wasn’t helping. I was beginning to understand why women would panic when their babies slipped back in. I was so tired, so close, and so ready to hold it. Each time it slipped I felt like I was back at square one.

In a desperate attempt to end it, I moved into the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and pushed as hard as I could. With gravity now helping I was able to make serious progress. My coach told me to keep the pressure, told me to get ready and push again right after. It was so hard. But the stretch felt incredible. It felt so amazing to actually be making meaningful progress. I was gasping for breath, grunting and bearing down with every push. Even when I wasn’t pushing and I was catching my breath I was still bearing down. Not allowing the egg to slip back in.

then I felt it, right up against my fingers at the very tip of the egg. I was so happy I could cry. I was right in the middle of a push. When my coach was at six, I was pushing so hard it popped right out. I froze holding this little egg in my hand. I just gasped and told my coach “I did it. I caught it… It’s out.” I couldn’t believe it.

My coach was so turned on by my efforts I could hear him cumming. That was hot beyond belief. I was in bliss thinking of his mess mixing with mine.

I was absolutely frozen. The egg, my hand and my thighs were covered in blood. I was breathing so hard, but a relief of dopamine washed over me. Suddenly I wasn’t tired any more.

My coach and I celebrated talking about how hot that was. He kept telling me he was proud of me, that he knew I could do it, and that I was incredible. I was in shock.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about the cool down except that I felt unstoppable. I also remember crying. I felt like I finally got the birth experience I had always wanted. My coach was so supportive of that.

My take away: Always play safe (If it doesn't have a pull string, put it in a condom), have a plan A and B. Size is deceiving, smaller doesn’t mean easier! Get a good coach, doing things alone is great. But having someone you trust to help you through it is irreplaceable. (If you are giving birth for real, get a doula)

My body truly was made for this, and I can’t wait to do it again.

A huge thank you to my coach. You know who you are. Your friendship is absolutely irreplaceable and I am so honored and grateful to know you!

[expectingrose]

The venn diagram of Birth kink and whump is a circle.

[expectingrose]

Partner: I wont cum in you babe.

Partner while flooding my pussy: April Fools.

[expectingrose]

Not gonna lie this fills me with so much serotonin. I am just giggling in lingerie going "boop" kicking my feet.

[expectingrose]

- If you choose other comment and let me know what sound you are thinking of. (or you can tell me in an anon ask, if you're shy)

[expectingrose]

Kinky little freaks

People who aren't openly kinky who like all my posts: your secrets are safe with me, ya freaks 🩷