dudaswelt

[dudaswelt]

the sexism in naruto is actually so crazy and all encompassing. every female character is defined by her relationship to men. the majority are boy-crazy. and it’s constantly remarked upon how weak they are when compared to their male teammates.

not only that but the main male characters actively dislike the women they’ve been paired off with. shikamaru is into temari but his infinite dream is not having to marry her. sai ends up with ino despite finding her ugly. naruto thinks hinata is weird and boring. sasuke’s dislike of sakura is infamous.

adult men’s interest in women is seen as comical and alien. (reactions to the sexy jutsu, jiraiya harassing women). almost all of the adult men are perpetual bachelors or sex perverts (and those who aren’t are stand ins for “mom and dad”).

when boys actually do like girls, it’s to show goofy immaturity and innocence (naruto’s crush on sakura that he grows out of as he reaches maturity, lee’s crush which is dropped entirely, obitos crush on rin which lasts into adulthood just to show he isn’t entirely separate from the boy he once was)

the whole ninja society likes to imagine it is a mostly gender blind world where women can thrive but this is SO obviously untrue. women are almost always healers and support. women make up less than 1/3 of the ninjas even at genin level. girls are almost all desperate to become wives and earn the attention of boys who don’t even like them!

mikoto uchiha was a jonin and presumably directly descended from the uchiha line (based on characters commenting that she/sasuke look just like izuna uchiha), but we only ever see her retired and raising her sons while her husband gets to be clan leader. (why?? if he married into the main family and she is an extremely capable ninja??)

similarly kushina uzumaki is borderline royalty and a jinchuriki, but her husband is hokage. once again the mother carries on the burden of power (for her sons to inherit) but the father has the title and status.

even the backstory of ninja enforces this. kaguya literally ate the forbidden fruit, giving the gift of chakra to all of humanity but also dooming them to fight for eternity. literally womens original sin …

anyway it’s not that all this sexist shit is in the story. it’s that kishimoto seemingly has no idea it’s there and believes the women he writes have epic girl power. how do you even do this by accident. why does every boy hate their wife. why did kaguya commit the original sin ! the girl characters want so badly to be with a boy but they don’t even care that the boy doesn’t like them back!! sakura and hinata are in loveless marriages of obligation and THEY DONT EVEN CARE??? they’re into it??? does kishimoto think men are universally forced to marry women they don’t like? does he blame women for this?WHY IS THE ORIGINAL SIN DRIVING THE BUS ALL THE SUDDEN?

[dudaswelt]

five recipes for an exciting life (in my opinion)

spending enough time creating things with your hands (baking, drawing, scrapbooking, doodling, crocheting, journaling and so on)

keeping track of things like pretty skies, milestones, happy memories, appointments you're looking forward to

listening to music that genuinely makes you feel happy and energetic

making a habit of reaching out to people in a way that's comfortable to you (i send my dad songs he might like, my friend sends me monthly life updates)

being kind to all your five senses → like investing in a scented candle or essential oil dispenser or body mist, having a soft blanket or socks (or a soft animal to pet), listening to birdsong or the rain, looking at the sky more often, and having your favorite foods enough times

[dudaswelt]

sounds silly but. one of the greatest things ever as someone with a trauma background is learning that things aren't inherently as bad or as scary as I thought. it IS possible to assemble Ikea furniture without arguments. is IS possible to discuss boundaries without having something thrown at me for speaking out of turn. it IS possible to spend hours on end sharing your favourite things with your favourite people, and not get called annoying for it. the world is an incredible place

[dudaswelt]

some hot e some cold rainy days in nrw.

this trip was so reenergizing and refreshing. i’m so ready to go back to a routine.

today i got back to my workbook and made a little progress? anyway i read a couple of articles and got a structure/draft going on which is something.

i think the hardest and maybe one of the only annoying things about german are adjective declensions.

#studyblr

[dudaswelt]

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

— Oscar Wilde

[dudaswelt]

here's the reason you procrastinate

based on Fuschia Sirois' research

everyone procrastinate at some point. research suggests that almost 1 in 4 people procrastinate on a fairly regular basis, and the rates are even higher among college and university students ( 50% of them procrastinate regularly and about 85-90% do so occasionally ).

because procrastination is so common we tend not to put too much thought into it, in the end what is the problem? it's just delay.

well, it's not. actually procrastination is harmful delay ( so defined by the researchers ); it is a form of delay which is:

voluntary

unnecessary

involves important tasks which you intended to do

people often underestimate the consequences of procrastination and how debilitating and harmful it can be. if you delay dealing with ( for example ) your academic works, of course you can expect some negative results in that area, but what about the collateral consequences of it?

research has shown that people who have problems with procrastination have low physical and mental health and practice less healthy behaviors. they deal with depression, stress and anxiety.

just think about the enormous amount of stress that procrastination brings: first of all, constantly chasing deadlines. deadlines can nag anyone, even those who don't struggle with delaying, but then it ends, the job is turned in, and everything goes back to normal. for procastinators this is not the case, they will keep putting off important things and will constantly end up with an imminent deadline.

so, if it's so harmful for your health, why do people do it? some people think it's about laziness or poor time managment, but actually:

laziness isn't procrastination. if you're lazy you don't have the energy to do anything, instead procrastinators are always busy with a thousand non-essential tasks to do, in fact they avoid doing one specific task, not every task ( for example if i need to study, but i'm procrastinating it, i end up cleaning my room )

poor time managment it's actually a symptom of procrastination, not a cause.

from a psychological perspective the origins of procrastination are rooted in negative emotions and the urge to cope with them through avoidance. so actually procrastination is about poor mood managment, not poor time managment.

procrastination starts when we have a task that's unpleasant, but we have to do it. and we use procrastination then as a way to get relief from those negative emotions associated with the task, so basically it's not even about avoiding the task, but it's about avoid the negative emotions that we associate with the task.

we need to avoid stress and aversive feeling that come with the task, especially when we don't feel like we can manage those negative emotions at the moment. so we take the task, we put it aside, and it's instant relief. it's fast, it's easy and it works for a little while, then that sense of shame, guilt and self-blame starts to kick in.

so why do we keep procrastinating? for that sense of relief, because that made us feel rewarded and we tend to repeat behaviors that rewarded us. this can easily lead to a cycle of procrastination.

however, the negative thoughts that we have ( "why didn't i start earlier?", "i'm letting myself down" etc. ) don't actually make us take action. they just add layers of layers on pre-existing negativity.

so how do you get out of the procastination cycle?

go back to valuing your task, if it's so important that you do it, remind yourself why you are doing it

remember that we tend to overestimate the discomfort that a given challenge will bring us. probably your task isn't even that time-consuming, unpleasant and frustrating

be compassionate and and forgive yourself, it's an effective strategy to reduce the negative emotions associated with the task. you are not the first nor the last person to procrastinate, we are all human and we all make mistakes. research has shown that doing so reduces the risk of procastination.

hope you enjoyed this little explanation, here's my sources: https://youtu.be/xTEPNxx0MsA

[dudaswelt]

mini golf with friends, döner, games, pizza, walks.

[dudaswelt]

06.04.2024

i think a finally figured out how to not get the crappy spots at the library :)

the weather was nice, we got coffee and relaxed a bit. it felt good to read at the park. but after a while it was honestly hard because it was very hot and very crowded. i got tired and didn’t get much done.

[dudaswelt]

Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:

If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.

If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.

I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.

There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.

[dudaswelt]

I’m super grateful for being able to do one course at a time, but i find it difficult to switch to a new course when it’s a different structure, like from a content/memorization type course to a reading/research type course. also to concentrate when I’m not too interested in the material.

but like, i was dealing well with the previous courses because I’ve already built a framework for the type of structure they had. but i also had the same struggle with them at the beginning. so at some point I’ll have a structure for all the types of courses and all will be well (?)

[dudaswelt]

hi, i’m duda :) I’m a computer science student based in germany.

i like reading, long train rides, photography, coffee, knitting, old buildings, ice/roller skating, walking in the forest.

some of my favorite bands are arctic monkeys, the smiths, hund am strand.

the songs i listen to on repeat the most lately are zombie from the cranberries, um minuto para o fim do mundo from cpm 22 and jungen mädchen from Hund am strand.

i’ll post about my journey managing motivation as an online student, learning german and maybe navigating people pleasing and building self confidence as an autistic human being if i find enough mental space for it at some point.

still kinda learning how to use this platform.

[dudaswelt]

eveeyones got it wrong your mid 20s arent for going to the club or partying or picking up new crafts. your 20s are for discovering how much more autistic you are than you thought you were in high school

[dudaswelt]

[dudaswelt]

[dudaswelt]

I APOLOGISE FOR NOT REPLYING TO YOUR EMAIL SOONER. ONE DAY ALL OF US WILL HAVE TO CONVINCE OURSELVES THAT WE SPENT THE GIFT OF TIME ON EARTH WELL.

[dudaswelt]

there’s something so freeing about identity

acceptance.

i don’t punish myself for existing anymore.

i’ve accepted life and living, and that i will have to live

this life through, like this. as autistic.

so best make the trip to heaven a good one, i guess.

i hope everyone can have the validation of an ASD

diagnosis, who needs one.

to hear that doctor say “you have autism”.

to have that

f r e e d o m;

that validation.

that it gets better.

you’re free from hiding in two worlds now—no longer faking it in the real one, or trying to get into the neurodivergent one.

it doesn’t happen automatically, not suddenly,

it moves slow,

like the tides,

but you move with it.

you flow.

and your mind feels like yours, not someone’s head

you borrowed for a day.

and that’s beautiful.

—

post-ASD diagnosis musings.

it does get better.

[dudaswelt]

19.09.23

i didn’t know there was a terrace over the stuttgart public library. i find this city so beautiful.

the day was fun, but for some reason i was incredibly tired when i got home. i slept for 11 hours and woke up confused. a guess it’s one of those mysterious autistic days. did i spend too much time away? is it because the train was packed on the way back? i really wish to know.