duckyghost

[duckyghost]

When I woke up today,

My windows were dark.

I asked the world why he hadn't waited for me.

He had told me he couldn't wait forever, with a shrug of his shoulders.

Somehow I had known what he meant.

When I woke up today,

You had already left the driveway half-full.

I asked the door if you'd been home the night before.

She had told me she wasn't sure, but her voice had come down to a creak, despite the smile in the way the carpet snagged in the doorframe.

Somehow I had known what she meant.

When I woke up today,

You were fast asleep, still dressed in light and footwear.

I asked the kitchen if you were alright, and he presented me ice in your glass, cold, hungry, and empty.

Somehow I had known what he meant.

When I woke up today,

You were waiting for me, calm and curled within yourself.

I left my desk at peace to listen to hums of simple bliss, the only words you could offer back to mine.

There was no doubt in knowing that you meant to love.

[duckyghost]

i still remember everyone ive ever even slightly loved with a certain fondness, even if i truly can't place why,

and im very sorry to them for that fact,

even if i can't truly place why.

[duckyghost]

I LOVE YOU MOM

CAN'T YOU HEAR ME???

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

STOP PLUGGING YOUR EARS

[duckyghost]

even when my entire being exists merely as novelty,

and it feels as though something has begun to eat at me from the inside out,

my skin permanently stuck a lighter hue than when you first held me,

i will never be ungrateful for the times in which i caused a smile to break across your face,

when you were blind to the concept of boredom

[duckyghost]

doomed to comedy,

i beg you for the laugh track

i beg you for the laugh track

i beg you for the laugh track

[duckyghost]

are lacerated lips still capable

of caressing the mouth that ruined them,

or is blood what stings more than love?

[duckyghost]

i love i love i love

the wind smiles when it whistles my name

everyone looks at the same stars, the same moon

the grass is greener where those have yet to walk

you are the embodiment of centuries of love

so, so many people only means countless more stories

the world is nothing more than a book waiting to be read

don't judge it by its cover

don't put it back on the shelf

read it, there's some plot twists, a few characters i think you'll REALLY hate, but you have to stick through until the last page for me

if you stick around for it

i think the end is gonna be your favourite part

you love i love we love

[duckyghost]

i had a dream where

you were dying and i begged

to hear you loved me

[duckyghost]

ive never particularly found emotion in the standard ways physical beauty is portrayed. if that makes sense

i can pinpoint just where the lines of their nose meet their brow, and i definitely appreciate the beauty of those around me, one look at my portfolio can prove that,

but i struggle to find strong emotion through forced pose, through mirror pictures and muscles and curves and weight and physical traits alone. inherently, there is a beauty, aesthetically, they look lovely. i cannot deny that. my work is just that, to capture that in strokes of a pen, i have absolutely no position to deny that.

on the contrary, id argue to say that everyone looks lovely, even if some would disagree, tell me i have a warped view of the world. if this view is warped, i don't want to see through the eyes of those who find the ugliness in everyone.

i regress, i just don't get a pull on the heartstrings, or feel the need to swoon with how outwardly gorgeous they are when it comes to the typical image or video of someone. i guess it's because from a posed picture, it can be difficult to tell truly who the person is.

but i stumbled across a live stream the other day of someone absolutely focused into their craft, sewing, brow knit and eyes narrowed.

and then i found someone playing the piano, swaying and bouncing to the music, the gears turning visibly behind their eyes as they lose themselves in their passions.

and i found those two people the most beautiful people id seen that entire day.

an entire day of scrolling past faces and people, and the two most beautiful ones were the ones at peace and focused on something they enjoyed. for their own moment, separate from the rest world, and obliviously content with the fact.

i guess ive just found myself much more appreciative of humans when they aren't aware they /are/ human. the moments where souls are less in the body, and more in the passion. when you can get a glimpse of who they really are, beyond the concept of humanity, through their own little universe working behind their eyes.

we are so lucky to have been given the gift of passion, the ability to create, the capacity to find joy within what so many other species don't get the chance to.

maybe that's kinda a loser thing to say, idk.

maybe this could be spun philosophical, maybe my brain just works a little funny and this makes no sense and i said all of this for nothing.

maybe, i need to go lose myself in something i enjoy for a little while

[duckyghost]

hello :]

personal blog, do not continue unless you're absolutely certain your liver is positioned correctly in your body

poems, writing, and emotional junk i don't wanna post on my main blog as to not kill the mood lol

name: ducky 🐤 (doubtful)

age: about 2 seconds away from my next blink

pronouns: guess, just for shits and giggles

favourite duck: rubber

tags:

sadstuff.txt (sad stuff, block if you only want good vibes)

madstuff.txt (mad stuff, also block for only good vibes)

gladstuff.txt (good vibe zone, i actually have a lot of love 4 the world)

writing.txt (mostly amateur poetry, but any writing that isn't just whatever brain parasites are plaguing me thrown messily in a blog post)

rambling.txt (brain parasites that were plaguing me, thrown messily in a blog post, as to show them who's boss)

duckghost (any post by me idk why i have this tag its useless)

BYI/IMPORTANT:

hey, so this is kinda just a personal blog journal thing, so some of the writing here can get kinda dark. while it's all tagged and has warnings prior, just be aware of that if this is your first time coming through.

stay safe and keep being lovely <3

[duckyghost]

tw: suicide

i don't want to be another

teenager with lead through his skull

that you have to cradle in your arms,

that you swore to protect from harm.

i don't want you to play

my favourite songs in my memory

decades after im in the ground,

years after you heard the sound.

you said you're scared

because we had to be the same age

that you were back then,

that he was when it happened.

i don't want to be the past

i don't want to make you scared

i don't want to be dead

i don't want to be another teenager

with a bullet in his head.