draftsofmylife

[draftsofmylife]

October 8th 2014

Sitting at Panera Bread in Oakland, our last day at the hotel that the red cross provided for us. I’ve realized that whiskey gives surrealistic dreams of that I am very fond of because I usually do not dream. Right now we are going to check out a place at you’ll never believe it. “Midtown Towers”. Haha, who would have thought. Everyone is still staying on the mountain which makes me sad, but I think that maybe it is for the better and is the safest option thus far. It sucks because I do graduate this quarter and it would be a lot going on. Life always works out within itself eventually. I wanted to try and keep focus on my school work and that is it. I have been working on an “Abandonment” series that has to do with my neglect of having a father figure and it has been a very personal and touching thing for me to deal with. Being able to express it through my medium is a great thing and it helps me find peace in a way and that is what I have been longing for. A goal of mine is to submit to a gallery in Brooklyn, New York. I want to start to get my name out in New York. My name is not out there as much as I want it to be, but I’m slowly trying to do that by submitting artwork to local galleries and having a gallery crawl with my work in it. My focus for this book is to talk about my personal life but mostly my photography. I submitted to a student show yesterday showing at the Pittsburgh Oprah house! I’m excited to see if I get into that!

[draftsofmylife]

Polaroid I took of the boys house, the day it burned down.

-Mariah V.

[draftsofmylife]

October 7th 2014

A new year has gone by and I am now 21 finally! I got the best birthday present ever! Kaylee Flowers (my roommate) threw a surprise birthday party just for me and I could not have been happier. I took a polaroid and bought a disposable camera. I remember everything because it was so great. I was very happy for awhile and then something terrible happened. My three best friends Colin, Shane and Alex’s house burned down on October the 5th 2014. They lost everything that they had owned. Kaylee & I’s house also almost caught on fire but the fire station came in time before it did completely. My friends lost pretty much everything in their house. It really gave us a wake up call, and that is we need to get the fuck out of that apartment building. It is not a safe place to live, and then I thought to myself what I would have done if I lost all of my stuff / artwork & novels. You don’t think of things like that to happen normally, but they do. It is very real and you do lose things that are not in your control. Shane is the one who lost most of his things, I feel so bad because we all graduate in December. If I was in his shoes I would not know how to react.

The photo series that I have been putting together for the Silver Eye center of Photography fellowship is coming together nicely, and all I can do is hope that I get accepted into the show this year. It is an international gallery and there is a lot of competition. Today is the first day of my last quarter for photography. It is a very surreal feeling although I’m really excited to start filming because I’m learning more and more about film each day!

[draftsofmylife]

Mariah V.

Twenty- One

Pittsburgh, PA.

Writers note: Do not read this book until I am dead.

That is a self portrait of myself on the cover.

[draftsofmylife]

I’m going through changes.

Self Portrait taken on Easter.

-Mariah V.

[draftsofmylife]

Pictures of me ago 20!

All photographed in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in the year 2014.

I want you to get a sense of the character you are reading. Which is in fact I. I want my readers to feel connected with who I am. I want them to know I am a real person and this is my life and I want to share it with the world.

Sincerely, Mariah V.

[draftsofmylife]

Some Polaroids taken on my 21st Birthday!

[draftsofmylife]

Hand written by people actually mentioned in the novel.

[draftsofmylife]

October 2nd 2014

The next few pages are written by friends of mine for my 21st birthday.

[draftsofmylife]

October 1st 2014

Alright guys here it is. One more day and I am 21 years old finally! Then in 9 years i’ll be 30. I must say that I am very proud of the person that I have become so far. I would not change anything except to be more successful. I feel that good things take time. So within the next 9 years I think I can somewhat be at a degree of success that I want to be. A lot of things are happening this month and its kind of nuts. Within art I mean. I’m also on my way for graduation which means even more stressful things for me. I plan to get everything that I can done to really try to be less stressed. Seriously a few things are bugging me though, and its within my whole art stuff. So I turn 21 tomorrow and I have not finished any of my books. I have not finished this book and I also have not finished my poem boo which is so frustrating to me because I set a goal for myself to finish both books and I can’t rush my books. So i’m confused and pissed. Like what should I do? To most people this would not be a big deal, but I’m not most people. My books are my life. I can’t write 20 pages by tomorrow, so I then had an idea for my friends to write in my book and they can take up some pages. Maybe for my birthday that will happen. I think that would be awesome! I want to have a party! This still does not change the fact that I have a book of poems that I have to finish. On a side note, I’m sitting in my kitchen looking out my kitchen window looking at the city of Pittsburgh. The colors of the trees are changing and it looks so beautiful..I love the fall, and it feels so good outside as well. Another thing that I see are a bunch of birds that are together on the roof across the street from me. Its sweet actually and I’m surprised they are still here. I thought they were moving to the south! I also realized that people this time of year are fucking nuts! I’m currently listening to the best radio station in Pittsburgh, they play the best music. 94.5! I’ve also been thinking about how everyone will be moving on soon. I’m pretty upset about it, I have no idea how to act. All of the friendships that I’ve made on the mountain and how everyone has become like a family to me. It’s something that I would rather talk about on a rainy day. I have set up a goal for myself and that goal is to stop smoking! Just because I want to treat my body right, it’s the act of smoking is what I enjoy. I also want to go on Mount Washington because I want to photograph all of Pittsburgh, I have not photographed Mount Washington which is where I live so I find that a bit bizarre and why not do it. I also have not been to the library up here and I need to step up my game. I have so much work to complete, I need to finish a series by October 13th, I have something to submit for this gallery October the 18th. I have an art show with my best friend Joey Smooth, he’s really happy that I’m showing some of my artwork. So much artwork so little time. 

[draftsofmylife]

If you are reading this..

I AM DEAD!!! Holy smokes can you believe it? I actually died. I thought that I was immortal like all the Greek Gods. I hope I make you laugh even if I am dead! Regardless I am writing this for one reason and one reason only. This is my will.. You know when you die all of your shit has to go somewhere. Get this, I have no money for anyone. I have something more important than money. I have ART. That is my life, that is all that I have ever lived for in the long run. Respect that and do exactly as I say. 

Dig this.. I have a feeling I’ll be pretty well known one day. So I want my art to be strategically presented the way that I want it to be. I have a hard drive with all of my work on it. I have a folder on my Lightroom catalog called “For When I Die” that is the artwork that I want presented the most. I want the work to be MASSIVE. I have some prints already but not as big as I want. I want all of my work presented on 20x18 sized prints. So therefore they will be pretty big. That is only the print size. I want all of my artwork to be presented on a white/creme matte. I want it to be cut in a fine art format. So therefore it looks like the photograph of Daizy & I in our orange kitchen wearing nothing but windbreakers from the 90′s with no pants on. I also want everyone of my photographs in a black frame. BLACK, got it? GOOD. 

Polaroids, are a different story. They can be framed in any colors, the background can be colorful as long as it coincides with the polaroid itself. I would also like flowers to be compressed in the frame as well to design around the polaroid. Think as if you were me, while you are putting the polaroids and frames together. The next step is getting my shit into places! Such as the MOMA in NYC. It is in Manhattan in times square. That is the ultimate goal. I would also like my work to be in International Museums/ Galleries as well. Remember to tell people that I am dead! I have more of a plausible chance to get in. Other than that, I have no further requirements. Now, if you are wondering who this should go to, I have not yet decided. I do want one person to be in charge of it and I have to trust their judgement and art style. I want them to be responsible for all of my artwork whoever it may be. Usually, your parents or children or some sort of family member would get your stuff. My parents though, would not trust them with mission. Sorry guys. 

“The best photographs are the ones you don’t get paid for”. - Mariah V. Chaney

Another factor, not sure if you remember but I am also a writer :) I want every single book that I have created to be published. I want my books published all over the world. I have some books so far that I want published, but remember I still am twenty. So by the time that I am dead you will have more to publish. For my children, I do have letters for you that I have worked on in my twenties for you to have.. a time capsule letter if you will. I will write another one if I have to.

Love Always,

Mariah V. 

[draftsofmylife]

September 28th 2014

Sweet dreams are made of this! How is it going? I woke up this morning pretty fucking drunk. Buttfuck it. I’m pretty crazy this morning but that is alright because I always am. I don’t remember most of last night but hey I didn’t expect too. I told Shane last  night that I wanted him to be the father of my child.. which I think that I do? I know that I wont meet anyone anyways and then I thought about that I need tot write a death will. Just incase, I don’t have any money but I have art if I died I dont anything in anyones name. So I’m going to write that next.

[draftsofmylife]

September 26th 2014

Hanging out and I’ll be 21 soon. After that I will be graduating college for photography. It’s so surreal due to the fact that so many things are going to change for me. I’ve been getting along really well with my co-workers, and I have been hanging out with them. It is a really fun time. I am excited because I love meeting new people. I had an interview Wednesday at the raw artist show. My video is being sent to Los Angeles for their RAW program. I’m really nervous about it. I don’t know how to act on film, or don’t even know how to let someone else photograph me. 

[draftsofmylife]

My friend Justin, I’ve been writing about.

Polaroid taken by Me.

[draftsofmylife]

September 22nd 2014

Sitting here with my friend Justin thinking about a few things. Someone I have known since I was two died today. His name was Scottie and he was 22 years old. It always makes me weary knowing someone my age died. Someone who was just learning something about this thing called life. Young souls die, but stay with you for eternity. 

[draftsofmylife]

September 17th 2014

Today is the death of David Loucks death. Stevens father. The reason I’m writing about him is because I feel as if he was a really good person. I know how much he meant to Steven. Regardless of how I feel about Steven because I think he is a total piece of shit. Since he called me two nights ago super lost and just acting like a jackass. I realized like what the fuck was I even pressed on about that dude for. I realize the dick was the only thing I card about with him. I am so much better without him it is unbelievable. I’m almost done with this quarter! Then it will be my last quarter as a photographer major!

[draftsofmylife]

September 14th 2014

Sunday, and I’ve been to busy to write the past two days unfortunately. The days always mix one another up and I get confused because I feel like there is so much going on in my life 24/7. My mom is starting to see all of my work & how it mostly contains nudity. Which slowly I think she is starting to become alright with it. At least I hope so but regardless if not, its my work and its never changing for anyone. I also realized another thing. I had this dream with the ugliest little baby who was just skin & bones came into a house where I was and the baby seemed very sick and I was very well off. The girl was having conversation with me and she told me that she was “hungry”. Needless to mention she was just skin and bones, but that did not change her personality. She was full of personality. It was awesome. She was such a sweet little girl. I swear to you she was the ugliest thing I had ever seen in my life. She had bleach blonde bushy eyebrows, and you could see all of her veins, she had a bluish tint to her skin. She did not mention the fact that she was hungry until after we started talking. After I told her what I did, which was filmmaking she told me she was a filmmaker as well and it made me laugh.. She seemed comforted by me which was very sweet, but more the less made me very sad but within myself. It made me realized a lot actually. If i get into all of the galleries and I make so much money... why the fuck does that even matter, if im not helping other people. I could be the richest person in the world but if I dont help people, I am honestly nothing.