dorianthespider - Tumblr blog

[dorianthespider]

The way fantasy writers talk about a thousand years as this uneventful amount of time is really funny to me because like—in less than 1000 years we went from the Norman Invasion of England to Skibidi Toilet.

[dorianthespider]

when the objectively bad person has traumatic and honestly reasonable reasons for why theyre like that but it doesnt excuse their actions and only serves to make them more tragic as a character

[dorianthespider]

sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship

miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR

cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not

fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee

europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”

fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”

pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS

[dorianthespider]

why haven’t I seen anyone posting about that giant fucking baby penguin in Melbourne that’s bigger than some of the adults already

[dorianthespider]

I did a very quick, sketchy comic because I was extremely inspired by this post. (Credit to @pinkdiamondprince for the original post.)

The entire analogy was just fantastic and so, so accurate, and I wanted to make a comic for it, even if it’s very sketchy because my attention span is nil.

[dorianthespider]

a comic about meeting your younger self :)

Thank you for reading :)

[dorianthespider]

i just had to draw this because i feel like screaming tbh

[dorianthespider]

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

[dorianthespider]

tumblr: on languages

[dorianthespider]

Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because they’re used to writing essays rather than prose. I don’t wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesn’t offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (“dialogue tag” just refers to phrases like “he said,” “she whispered,” “they asked”):

“For most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and don’t capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,” she said.

“But what if you’re using a question mark rather than a period?” they asked.

“When using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless it’s a proper noun!” she snapped.

“When breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,” she said, “use commas.”

“This is a single sentence,” she said. “Now, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so there’s no comma after ‘she said.’”

“There’s no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.” She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.

[dorianthespider]

reblog to pet the sad cat 　　　　　　 ＿＿ 　　　　　／＞　　フ 　　　　　|  　_　 _ l 　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ 　　 　 /　　　 　 | 　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ 　 　 │　　|　|　| 　／￣|　　 |　|　| 　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__) 　＼二つ

[dorianthespider]

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

[dorianthespider]

Can't fucking believe they're doing trans panic about an Olympics with precisely zero trans women in it

[dorianthespider]

olive in her favourite spot having a ponder

[dorianthespider]

[dorianthespider]

i'm crying rn.... the fucking Torta.....

[dorianthespider]

“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire