daily-diary-47

[daily-diary-47]

17/11/24

entry 4 i think

hey sorry i havent updated in a while. ive been so depressed and have been chugging along with the sheer force of procrastination and the approaching deadline for my schoolwork

you wanna know what i fucking hate? teachers who dont give you an explicit deadline. when tf am i supposed to know what day i should crunch this essay man tell me when its due so i can do it the night before w a sore throat and a warheads in my mouth

anyways, did the 8th chapter of my fic on time-ish. now i gotta do chapter 9. im pretty excited since i have a lot planned and im very eager to write about it. despite this, i still procrastinate

ao3 curse is real bc i have never thought abt killing myself more than after starting this fic

[daily-diary-47]

9/11/24

entry 3

im at a technical theatre meet rn. gotta be here for 8 hours.

nothing much has happened in the last few days, but i did make a few patches and sewed them on my jean jacket vest. i kinda wanna make it into a crust punk thang

yeah, not much has happened lately. i gotta finish my fic today but i cant so yeah :(

[daily-diary-47]

6/11/24

entry 2

sometimes i dream that one day ill live in a little house, on a little meadow, next to a little forest, and far enough away from any city. i dream that ill grow my own vegetables and purify my own water, and ill be self sufficient. i wont have to rely on any job or have to pay many bills(other than electric), and all ill ever need is my vegetables and my husband. safe from prying eyes and watchful authorities, ill be alone with him to hold and kiss and love him.

i always knew that was a lofty dream, but now i know for sure itll never come true.

im very upset with this election, and i am losing hope. however, im sticking my middle finger up at trump by staying alive and existing.

i am human. i breathe. i eat. i drink. i sleep. i piss. i shit. i vomit. i cry. i scream. i bite. i fight back. i smile. i laugh. i run. i jump. i feel. i hate. i love.

i exist.

i am real.

i will not be scared into hiding.

you are real too, dont be scared either. exist with me and all the other beautiful humans that are real and here and living.

[daily-diary-47]

5/11/24

entry 1

im never gonna write dates the “normal” way fuck off

this morning i woke up n decided to put effort into my outfit. wore my raccoon extensions n my belt. i also put some eyeliner on.

my friend broke up with their shitty ahh boyfriend yesterday. im rlly happy for them, esp since they basically said i was totally right about him sucking. love you eric

elections were today n im scared. like rlly scared lol

im doomed

i freaked out a bit and ran outside. i grabbed one of my mumma’s cigarette butts and smoked the little bit that was left

mom would be mad. i hope she never find out

im supposed to write chapter 8 of my fanfic by saturday but idk if i can. after i shower maybe

im gonna cut myself once im done writing this. i know im supposed to stop but its hard to resist. addiction sucks