crazy-write - Tumblr blog

[crazy-write]

happy rika pokemas day to all who celebrate

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firmly believe that a pumpkin spice latte would kill harrowhark nonagesimus

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Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

[crazy-write]

𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔨𝔬𝔫

[crazy-write]

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ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

[crazy-write]

transmisc. transmiscellaneous.

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if you befriend enough weirdos you can get lectures for free

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Look at all the small things she is wearing.

[ Reddit ]

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DEVIOUS PENIS PUMPKIN

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Tunic embroidered with old Norse runes around the bottom that read “I joined the SCA and all I got was this stupid t-tunic”

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morning: we need to commit to cooking at home. no more fast food, no more ordering in

evening: ................ what if we were bad

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adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

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with great pain comes the great inability to form a coherent sentence

[ID: a 4-page comic in illuminated manuscript style of a person standing outside. /1: They look to the distance and say: "What is that dolorous cloud: that dreadful fright I see now on the dark horizon?" /2: They turn, upset, and say: "Alas! It is the brain fog approaching!" A purple cloud enters the panel. /3: They hold up their hands against the approaching cloud, saying: "A curse upon that fog that steals my eloquence. I...hate...it" /4: The cloud surrounds them and they say: "cloud"..."bad" /ID]

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Awful terrible bugses bits us... it itches us so badly...... it would feel so goooood to SCRATCH ITS... NO WE MUSTENT. Ouuughhh

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@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?

The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3

@pointless-achievements

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