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Can you hear me sobbing

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Person who doesn't read comics: Batman is so cool. He's such a loner. He doesn't need anyone to get the job done.

Me: You know he has like 9 kids, right?

Person who doesn't read comics: ...excuse me what?

Me: Yeah! Dick, Jason, Babs, Tim, Steph, Cass, Damian, Duke, and Harper.

Person who doesn't read comics: ...excuse me...what?

Me: I mean, he adopted Dick, Jason, Tim and Cass. Damian is his biological son. He just mentors the rest but they may as well be his babies. And then he has Alfred, and Leslie Thompkins, and quite a few allies he trusts. Superman, Wonder Woman. Batwoman.

Person who doesn't read comics: He hates Superman.

Me: Hahaha! Dude, they are like best bros. One time they limped through a sewer together after Metallo shot Clark with a Kryptonite bullet, reminiscing about old enemies. It was adorable!

Person who doesn't read comics: but-

Me: And then there's the squad of lady friends. Catwoman, Zatanna, Talia, Black Canary. I'm probably missing a bunch.

Person who doesn't read comics: I-

Me: :) :) :) :) :)

Person who doesn't read comics: BUT HE'S A LONER!

Me: Tell that to Damian. Bruce let him keep a cow in the batcave.

Person who doesn't read comics: *bursts into tears*

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My nayme is Flash

And fast I goe

But somtymes I

am just tu slo

Not fast enuff

tu fite the cryme

and so insted

I fuk up tyme 

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“Batgirl movie confirmed…”

“…to be directed by Joss Whedon”

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These kids are living my dream.

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Jason: You know the apples and bananas song?

Tim: Yeah?

Jason: So what if like, we replaced vowels in other words with only one vowel like in the song?

Tim: Jason no

Jason: Just imagine

Tim: Please, I really don't want to

Jason: Like, instead of Bruce Wayne it's pronounced:

Breesee Weenee

Or maybe-

Tim: JASON STOP

Jason: Instead of Damian Wayne:

Demeen Weenee (De Mean Weenie)

Tim: Jason this is how you're gonna get killed again

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Jason: We are gathered here today-

Dick: [sobs]

Jason: To honor the life-

Damian: And death

Dick: [sobs harder]

Jason: Of Blue, someone who meant much to us all. He was family. A victim of- uhh…

Dick: [sobs some more]

Damian: This is pathetic. I’m going to my room.

Tim: Don’t be so rude! This is a funeral!

Damian: For a fish

Jason: Shut up. Both of you. Steph, start the music again.

Steph: Sure thing, lover boy.

Jason: Blue was only 3 weeks old when he was tragically taken from us

Dick: [wails]

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The Bat Family motto

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Headcanon that Dami will speak Arabic when he’s really pissed off,

he thought Bruce could’t understand (but actually Bruce does).

and Happy Children’s Day : )

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damian wayne + sassing the gotham sirens

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An average day at Wayne Manor

Bruce: *sitting and reading the newspaper* 

*suddenly hears a crash and some screaming from upstairs* 

*footsteps running back and forth on the ceiling*  

Dick: Bruuuuuuce!!!!

*another crash and some muffled grunting* 

Jason: Don’t listen to him, Bruce, everything is fine!!!

*some more muffled cursing and punches*

Damian: This is all your fault, Todd!!!

Tim: For the love of god, somebody put out the fire!!!!

*more running* 

Steph: I got it!!!

*the sounds of a pipe bursting* 

*more screaming and cursing* 

Dick: Bruuuce!!! Call the fire department!!!

Tim: Screw that, call the Justice League!!! Damian’s on fire!!!

*more screaming* 

Bruce: *takes a sip of tea* I hate my life

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Always be positive.

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Types of knives

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Offensive Mistakes Well-Intentioned Writers Make

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Yo yo yo

full offense but astrology hoes are annoying af

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