callmelexa-hummel

[callmelexa-hummel]

text: Josh

JOSH: What?

lexa: what whaaaat

[callmelexa-hummel]

Always -- a nice ass, I can work for that. 

That’s always a nice distraction~

[callmelexa-hummel]

text: anyone

jessie: that doesn't sound very responsible.

lexa: im at home, it's responsible.

[callmelexa-hummel]

I feel like somebody is watching meeeee -- it’s basically how it is. 

It’s like people know and just don’t want to give you any peace.

[callmelexa-hummel]

text: Mallory

Mallory: I have chocolate cake?

lexa: yasssss can i has some?

[callmelexa-hummel]

text: anyone

Liv: And you can't get chocolate yourself?

lexa: that's to easy. no.

[callmelexa-hummel]

Then I hope you written a better one -- people need something to get off with. 

That’s all that could be said about it, really. It was very bad, poorly written, porn. 

[callmelexa-hummel]

Silly girl! Are you okay?

Neverrrrr – haha. How are you cutie?

[callmelexa-hummel]

I mean that wasn’t even a porno, so yeah probably. 

I think you have me confused with the bitch that wrote 50 Shades of Steaming Piles of Shite.

[callmelexa-hummel]

text: anyone

lexa: Help...

lexa: I'm baked and I need chocolate --

[callmelexa-hummel]

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The hottest girls are Mechanics -- 

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[callmelexa-hummel]

Pretty fucking awful, I stopped working to see all that ass..

Half of the shit I say online isn’t to be taken seriously, although sensitive shits always do; for my entertainment. Anyway, I mentioned some Burlesque show for the club earlier and what was going on when I stopped by? Auditions for that actual shit. I was about to protest, but the girls auditioning in barely nothing and roaming around the place with their bare asses in view made me realize I couldn’t do that. After all, I couldn’t tell them to leave~ What kind of awful man would that make me, eh?

[callmelexa-hummel]

How about we test this theory -- I have a strap on and a bed callin your name. 

I was messaging this guy on Tinder and things were going pretty smooth. He wasn’t being pushy or anything which was cool. Then eventually he changed and got really kinky on me. So I told him while we’re on the subject I like being called daddy in bed when I’m riding a guy. Yeah, he said bye and won’t reply to my messages. So rude.

[callmelexa-hummel]

Cute -- I’ll keep my eyes peeled for furniture. I can fix them up for you if you want me too if they’re beat up. 

It’s official. Within the next two months I’ll be moving out of the sorority house and into a nice little bachelorette pad. It’s just barely under my monthly budget which is great. Now to find some affordable furniture.. 

[callmelexa-hummel]

What porno did you make into a book?

It’s official. After shopping around and looking at several contracts, we’ve finally found a company who is willing to publish the book. Production starts next Monday, and I have to meet with their artist to discuss my vision for the cover and chapter art. It’s happening!

[callmelexa-hummel]

Who’s not picky? You have to be able to go without wanting to change the music cause you don’t want that song -- 

It took me about three hours to create a playlist for a five hour flight. I think this made me realize how picky I am with my pre-game music. I take this stuff very seriously, apparently. At least now I know I’ll be bumping some great shit. Now, if only I could drink great shit too. But, I guess I’ll have to wait until after Sunday for that to happen.

[callmelexa-hummel]

Dude I feel ya -- I hate that shit but it always happens, Right as I close my eyes. BAM. Text tone. 

You know those moments when you just want to lay down and sleep – yet each time you think this is it; someone texts you. Or something else gets your attention. No matter what, it’s like they just know you’re about to fall asleep and want to prevent that from happening. Time flies by, and in the end you can’t actually get any rest because it’s too late. I wanted to sleep in today, but obviously that’s not going to happen anymore.