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We looked inside some of the posts by britttlorraine-blog-blog and here's what we found interesting.
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70K
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5
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9 days ago
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4
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i just dont understand how there are parents who will do anything for their children and then their are the ones who wouldnt. that they dont care how their kids feel on how they live their lives. you try so hard to tell them to care about them, that they mean something to you, that you dont wanna see them struggle that you want them to be healthy and be successful like they wanted you to be when you were younger. it sucks to know that their our some parents out there who will always pick men and a shitty life style over their kids. they choose to miss out on the important things in their kids life. wheater its graduating high school, college, a trade school, having a baby, getting married etc. because they would rather be in a shitty life than be there for the kids you helped make and the ones that you brought into this world. they would rather be with a man who beats them, and be addicted to drugs even tho they tell you "i dont do them as much as i used too" it still means you are doing them and dont give a rats ass on how they are STILL slowly killing you and ruining your appreance, even when you say the whole reason you started them was to improve what you didnt like about your self....guess what its just making you look old and sickly, doing drugs just means that you dont give a shit about your life or those around you and those who love you very much. it sucks to be unable to sleep at night because your worried about wtf is going on in the life of the parent that is supposed to be the responsible one, when you should be sleeping or thinking about what your baby is gonna look like and planning things for your baby but your mind is too concerned with if tonight will be the night you get that phone call that your parent is dead in a ditch somewhere or has overdosed and is the hosptial in a coma. its not something that you should be worried about when you have a life growing inside yourself. it drives me to be a better parent that what i have as an example because its like ive poured my heart out over and over, ive cried myself to sleep at times because im so scared and so worried.but then i get angry at myself because its like why the fuck should i care about you when you dont even care about yourself...then i get pulled back to the fact that i came from you...then its why the fuck does that matter when your hurting me every time you put the fucking needle in your arm. but does that matter no it doesnt ive pleaded with you to get your shit together and to try to make yourself a better person and to get away from that life YOU MADE YOURSELF. but it seems that you have made a bed that your are fucking comfortable lying in!!!! you have seen how badly you hurt everyone of your children and yourself but still you have no motavation to get the help you need. i told you that either you stay or u wont be around when that significant time in my life comes around did you think i was kidding?!?!?!? even that notion wasnt enough for you to want to change, im expirencing this on my own, getting advice from my job, from my DR. your too busy with your little fucking BOYfriend and those fucking drugs that you cant even get your shit together for your first grandchild, for your own flesh and fucking blood that needs your help!!! you threw away the ONLY chance i was willing to give you because you cannot live with out your fucking drugs! and the fucking douche bag you think you love!!!!!!!!!!! i dont care if this hurts your feelings because you have hurt my feelings and broke my heart for the last time. I am completely done trying to help, i cannot help you because you dont want to help yourself. i have prayed to God that he would guide you back to the path of rightousness but it seems that your too far gone from him that me asking isnt enough!!! im angry with myself because ive given you plenty of chances to get together ive endured so much because of your habbits, then men you had in and out of my life..not just me your other kids as well... ive been on my own for a long time, ive grown up faster than i wanted to because of u...ive tried to escape the past but it always comes back because you havent changed a bit.... i look at my past and yes i see me living my life as you minus the drugs because i have never done them nor will i start because despite how ugly i am and fat i still love myself alot then to lower myself to that level, i strive to be better, to have a better life, to keep the man that truely loves me and the father of my soon to be born child, the man i will marry because i dont want to be like you!!!!!! no matter what you think. i love you with all my heart but im done with the crying and worrying and the feeling like shit because i cannot help you!!!
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When I'm dancing at the club
Expectation:
Reality:
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I'm kinda pissed and at a loss for words right now
I have been lied to since the start. I'm pregnant and he lies to me. I'm so stupid too. He just can't ever tell the truth. He just makes it seem like its not a big deal that this chick is hitting on him and making in obvious I gave him the benefit of the doubt about it the first time but now I'm over it. Bitches need to realize when someone is in a relationship I'm so over it. I'm ready to just give him a break and let him do whatever u wants and I'll be pregnant and have my baby and do it myself because I'm not gonna deal with whores and bitches trying to get with him while he encourages it. He doesn't do anything to keep them at bay he encourages it. My heart hurts I'm holding back tears while he plays bball on front of me while he plays me like a fool.
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#11weeks #babybump #growingbelly #sisterfail #sistersmess. (Taken with Instagram)
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I feel really alone in this journey that was supposed to be ours together
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I wish he would just tell me were going out. Have an actual date night. Cause I feel like he is imbarassed of my since im getting chubby cause im pregnant. I wish he would look at me like I mean something. That he is attracted to me. This weigh gain is killing me. He isnt helping. He grabs my fat. I get upset about it and he acts like he doesnt know why im upset!?! I dont understand him anymore. Idk if im what he wants or if im an obligation now.
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The thought of gaining weight makes me extremely depressed. I understand its going to happen because im pregnany but my boyfriend said he knows im going to get big...it make me worried he will leave me because im going to get fat. Im going to gain weight. Alot of thoughts run through my head. I wanna be selfish and starve myself to be thin like I was in high school. My body isnt gonna be the same. I know that & I cant starve because my baby will be hurt. I cannot be selfish. But other bad habbits are popping in my head. Idk what to do. I hear it calling my name. I cant say anything because I seem crazy and stupid and I dont think he even understands or even care. How depressed gaining weight is making me.
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Waiting for the next part of my life journey with him to begin.
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I know I have to forget what everyone else in my past has done to me how they treated me because I have a wonderful man who needs my complete faith & needs to know that I trust him. but being scared of the past doesnt help our future together. Which I want it to be long and successful. I have to work on that because my future with this man relies on it.
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i couldnt sleep last night
I had way to much on my mind.
honestly i really miss the person my mom used to be. when she used to care about herself and actually care about who raised us. i wish whoever invented meth would have just never been born. i know that everyone has their vices but really that drug changed not just my life but the life of my whole family. i wish i had my mom around like a normal mom to share in the life that i am making for myself. i wish she was there when things were bad and was there to give me the advice a mom is supposed to do. teach me things that a mom is supposed to.
on the bright side of it. i have learned NEVER to touch any drugs. that i will not be like my mother. i refuse to let my children (if i can have any) go through what i went through growing up. my mother refused to allow my father come and see us and spend time with us. she had man after man in my siblings and my life which is not healthy.
its always hard to open up to people about this because they always assume that i over react but in all reality they dont have to deal with the chance of getting that phone call in the middle of the night saying that your mother is dead in a ditch somewhere. i love my mom with all my heart without her i wouldnt be here. i just wish that she actually gave a damn about her self.
i cry all the time because i am afraid for her because she isnt afraid, because i dont want my mom to die yet, i do not want my mom to live the way she is living it breaks my heart to see her live that way. i know i cannot help her unless she wants to help herself ive told my self many many times but she is my mother.
my brother and sister can careless what happens to her which makes my heart hurt more. and at the moment i am at a loss. i really do not know what to do anymore.
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Sometimes I wonder if he still loves her.
She is the mother of his daughter. His first love. She put him threw things and he stayed around.
He will never love me lile he loves her. I understand that. I dont know what kind of relationship they still have and it makes me nervous because he refuses to talk about anything.
If he goes back to her I wouldnt blame him. she has already given him a beautiful daughter. They have that family.
I love him so much I would let him go if thats what makes him happy.
I love him more than any person on this earth.
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Six months ago I began my life with the love of my life. My best friend. The only one. From day one its been perfect. @adtrtfot I love you. Many more months to come. (Taken with instagram)
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I want to have a date night or something.
Dinner. A movie. Walk on the beach. Something.
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Working the legs lol #gym (Taken with instagram)
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