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Extortionist Contortionist

Well, not a contortionist as such, more a yoga teacher. Technically, I am not altogether sure exactly what extortion means either, but along with her accomplice, a west-coast American gentleman, they robbed their clients blind. Whilst scandalous, the real scandal is I never reported them to the police or to the yogi high commission, I just left the sessions and blocked her text alerts and emails.…

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mon chapeau préféré - flash fiction 1000 words

mon chapeau préféré – flash fiction 1000 words

“I didn’t want to become one of those old men looked upon affectionately, who wear the same hat for the last twenty-five years of their lives, it becoming ever more grimy and ragged by the year.” This, the opening statement of a stylishly dressed gentleman sat opposite me on the train to London today. In actuality, this is a translation of what he’d said, as the conversation directed to me was…

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Flash Fiction (50 words): On Pain of Death "I feel complete and utter contempt for a person who wilfully puts themselves on TV, in the newspapers - experiences any time at all in the limelight for the purpose of gathering attention and fame, no matter how insignificant and regardless whatsoever of their circumstances ." She said, swearing me to secrecy.

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Send Out the Clowns

Send Out the Clowns

A mail art call on the theme of clowns, produced by Cascade Artpost and Mail Art Martha, 2017. Clown Parade Project Brinkinfield’s variation #1:

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OCD Stories: Latex Gloves

OCD Stories: Latex Gloves

This is a second story on a theme, which is beginning to look like the making of a series. In as much detail as I can remember, what follows is an actual account of what happened to me, earlier today. One of my responsibilities at work, is to buy stock from a local wholesaler. Although devoid of the middle-class aspirations for glamour, this particular wholesaler resembles a supermarket in…

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An Arachnophobe Writes...

An Arachnophobe Writes…

It’s tough, at 1.83cms tall, 88kgs in weight and male, being an Arachnophobe. My reactions are quick, sight twenty-twenty, I have good-sized hands making great scoops for spider repatriation back to the wild. Yet the very thought, makes me shudder physically. I am a closet-Arachnophobe; which makes the situation twice as bad. I’ve told no one before. No one but you. On removal missions, sent in…

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OCD Stories

I don’t know how or why, but I seem to attract complete strangers in one-off meetings, who share interesting stories with me. Today, this happened while I was recovering from a two-circuit run in University Park. Catching my breath, leant over unfastening my trainers and loosening my knee support, I became aware of someone sitting down on the same bench. I looked across to see a young woman,…

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A Lover's Scar

A Lover’s Scar

Annie phones me in a froth, broken and emotional. “Annie!? Tell me what’s happened. Now listen to me, take some slo-w breathes in and out, and try to calm down.” “I just can’t believe it. Just, can’t, believe it.” I hear the sound of rushing air mixed with telephonic white noise, while she fills and then empties her lungs. “I just, can’t believe it.” She repeats. I imagine her, head hung low,…

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Rain

‘THE WETTEST AUGUST SINCE RECORDS BEGAN’ declared the banner, Held aloft by the crazy man, Walking the centre of the road, In his plastic anorak, wellies, and nothing much else. Sitting northwards of the jet-stream, Great Britain took the rainfall, Normally divided up between all of Europe’s lands. Instead, the continent baked, While the UK became sodden. Experiencing precipitation, For prolonged…

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What Would You Change, Time-Traveller? (work in progress, come back for updates)

What Would You Change, Time-Traveller? (work in progress, come back for updates)

In the summer of this year, I placed an advert to an online local directory, which included within its pages, a volunteer section. The advert read: If you could travel back in time and change one thing in your life, what would it be? If you have a story you would like to share, get in touch for a Q&A interview, email me The interviews were created through the exchange of a question posed and an…

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Cafe Philosophy

“You’re a tall one!” The man said, catching my attention as I worked my way through the crowded cafe dining area, busy with the lunch time rush hour. Acknowledging his comment, I smiled and sat down in a vacant seat at a small table next to his. Although struck by the broadness of his midriff, pronounced by the grubby tee-shirt stretched over his stomach, I noted he wasn’t so short himself. He…

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You: (an echo on each line)

You: (an echo on each line)

YOU: I thought could be the one might be the one possibly are the one are the one are the one! are the one..! are the one..? are now coming undone came undone seem now like not the one are not wanting to be the one never will be the one are now someone else’s one are not my one are gone  

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Caught Awkward

Sat in the cafe, after finishing a modest breakfast of scrambled egg on fried bread, I had begun rolling a cigarette, as is customary, to smoke while I walked back to work. As I completed this task, an elderly white haired man seated at the table next to mine leant forward, extending a shaking hand, placing considerable effort into straightening-out a stubbornly curled index finger to point in my…

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Her Finger Up My Nose

Her Finger Up My Nose

A tourist in town, quickly swiveled around. An arm extended upwards, pointing. Before I could move, a finger went up my nose and my head tilted onto a 45 degree axis.   I reached onto tippy-toes to disengage, but slipped back down onto the soles of my feet. The fit of the digit was snug, way better than any one of my own.   My arms swayed gently, while I waited for the expected withdrawal. I…

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First Run in 5 Years

First Run in 5 Years

So, I ran. And I walked, In between running. It seemed a sensible thing. ….. I did not absorb the natural surroundings. I tried, but couldn’t fix my attention on sights or sounds. My thoughts were focused on the present, when I’d next walk, When I’d next run, looking for markers, that bench there, A tree here, when this person walks past. …. A mix of runners, walkers, lovers & friends. Couples…

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Running

I prepare for running by buying the right clothes. No more, the cotton t-shirt, absorbent and heavy with sweat. Instead, ultra light fabric, cut to a vest.   A pair of double shorts. “Double shorts”? A tight-fitting, stretchy material, housed within a classically styled pair.   A cap, to protect my head from the rain, Socks, trainers, Inserts within my running shoes, to protect my precious…

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"I'm Not Having That!"

“I’m Not Having That!”

It came as a shock, A sensationalist presenter of a tabloid talk show, Dead, killed, live on TV.   He had been crouched low, In front of the set. Goading an increasingly agitated-looking guest. Waving typed-out notes in one hand, Pointing his microphone accusingly in the other.   The murmuring of the audience increased in volume as he spat out formulaic provocations.   Where were the security…