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your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

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alt-j / cinnamon toast crunch advertisements / simone weil / cinnamon toast crunch advertisements / frank bidart

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Corvid Christmas tree. Simple, but beautiful.

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got my hands on a field guide of californian bugs and i found that there's this one bee species in southern california that looks like this

(Actual bugs under the cut, CW for insects)

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@ krimamr

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I am searching for a term that may not exist:

I have a husband

He has a brother, who is my brother-in-law

My brother-in-law has a wife. Now colloquially, she is my sister in law, but is there a distinction to indicate she is also my husband's sister-in-law and not his sister? Is she my sister-in-law-in-law? My sister twice removed?

This is not actually the term I'm after but it'll help.

My brother-in-law's wife has siblings. Who are they in relation to me? I see my sister-in-law-in-law's brother more than I see her, but is there a way to explain that he's family?

Now, the real term I'm after: my sister-in-law-in-law's brother has a daughter. Is she my niece? Second cousin some degree removed??

Like, kinship trees vary wildly by culture, but I feel like there might be terms for these by-marriage relatives from inheritance law or something?

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theyre going to kill me because nobody in history has acted strangely and im the very first

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my friend liz downloaded some free audio software a few months ago to do something and now every time she joins a call a female voice says “trial. trial.” and liz doesn’t remember the name of the software or know how to stop it and she doesn’t want to

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i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

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Most-used word in each US state.