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One of them clearly wants me to fuck off #luluthecat

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This was Stone Soup's morning with @onenorthside and we couldn't imagine being anywhere else #Ferguson #MikeBrown #onenorthside #stonesouptheatreproject

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At the Faith in Action Anti-Violence Campaign at United Church of Rogers Park #thisiscommunity #ceasefire #stonesouptheatreproject

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#happymothersday #KateHinkleRocks

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On a walk with some cool cats #ceasefire #stonesouptheatreproject #buds

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I Got Problems.....Part II

It has been a weird week. I didn't see this one coming, not that we ever do anyway. It has been starting to feel like a reminder to just chill the f*ck out and appreciate what I have around me.

Brian and I just got back into Chicago this past Friday. A good family friend of my parents (so much so that she earned the familial designation of "aunt" Susan) passed away last week very suddenly. I hadn't kept in the best contact with her family in the past few years, but we were extremely tight growing up. We had Pizza Fridays; the summer saturday afternoon-into-late-evening hangouts where our parents would be outside on the patio just laughing their asses off while the kids played hide and seek, video games, you name it. The patio would be illuminated by a lone citronella candle going all night on the back porch. There were plenty of those nights and I friggin' loved 'em. 

There was no doubt that we needed to be there, so we borrowed a car and made the 12+ hour drive 2 days later.

My dad was asked by Susan's husband Pat to speak at the funeral. Listening to his speech about Susan could have brought a tear to a glass eye. It was a testimony of a relationship over 3 decades, and you could just feel that f*ckin' love in his voice that you earn with 3 decades of friendship. 

I got to reconnect with Susan's kids, all of whom had hit various milestones. The oldest had a kid, the second was married recently and the youngest was engaged. It was just great seeing how they morphed into these amazing people with amazing partners. 

Then, there was my niece....who is quite frankly the cutest damn thing on two feet... and plain loves her Uncle Bri:

Got to spend a lot more time with her than we normally do. We're pretty scarce uncles these days.

I think there was a universal understanding that these were pretty shitty circumstances to reunite under, but it almost feels as if there's no more perfect time.

At the funeral, Pat said that if we had someone we loved with us, to just hug them a little tighter, hold them a little closer. You just never know.

In the spirit of this, I'm taking a moment to regard the sheer beautiful picture of love you see before you. That's life right there.

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I got problems....Yeah, right.

"You can have anything you want. You can't have everything you want."

                                                                        -Esther Randall, mom-in-law

Allie frequently heard this little tidbit of truth growing up, and it is just as simultaneously frustrating and inevitable for me now as it was for her then. Then again, who the hell can shake that one?

Alright, I have the impulse to be a bit pre-emptive, this sounds a little symptomatic of whiny b.s. : If you are lucky enough to have the life where having options is your reality, f*ckin' rejoice. That isn't everybody's story. I am the product of a middle class family tucked away in a Philly suburb with one of the best school districts in the state. I had the ability to attend and graduate college with the support of parents that nurtured me in my artistic pursuits (though, I'm sure they've had their reservations). My past and present are rosy compared with those I've been humbled to meet over the last 2 years doing outreach. 

The thing is, I crave stability. I can't get away from it, It's ingrained in every fiber of my being. My family rarely, if ever, operated without taking it into consideration. Not that my parents didn't take professional risks, but I did grow up with "you can do whatever you want, just find a way to make money at it.....Oh, one more thing. ALWAYS HAVE INSURANCE." Not knocking them, those sentiments have their merits. Both just feel to be diametrically opposed to a career in the arts. 

Yet, I want all of the fulfillment of a career in the arts. I've been blessed to have had tastes of it in my 20s, but I ultimately backed off in some ways. Got a mortgage, married a fine lady, and tried to pursue my career in an environment where I could build a life and career without having to grind it out too much. Having good financial acumen outweighed jumping without the safety net in place.

This is a far cry from the train of thought I had during my college days through my first years in Chicago. I was always a proponent of the "If-I-have-a-safety-net-I'll-inevitably-fall-back-on-it" school of thought when defending my acting career with virtually no backup plan in place. What balls.

Then life in Chicago started to happen......and things just took off. I'm now 31, and seeing how quickly life has been passing me by, I'm hyperaware of the fact that I'm no kid anymore. I work 40 hrs a week, devote what free time I have to Stone Soup, and don't even have the time to audition like I once did. Woe as me, I know. Feels stupid, but what the hell. That's what it is. 

I'm still finding that career/life balance. I have a feeling something's gonna give soon. Not sure what, but there are aspects of life that I feel compelled to change. Just don't want to look back and have many regrets. I have the capacity to have anything I want, but I've been going after everything I want. Frankly, that sh** is exhausting. 

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Lulu felt the need to check my editing work #unsolicitedcriticism #goodeye #stonesouptheatreproject

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Both sides of granville red line

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@badmofomcfly committed an egregious party error,@eakie22 felt the need to rectify the situation #rookie

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2nd anniversary celebration with some old Groupon chums at Elephant & Castle #boozin #lovetheseguys

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First Preview #stonesouptheatreproject #tamerofhorses #sennhighschool #loveanaudience

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Nice day for a walk #peaceangels #stonesouptheatreproject #great guys

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Oliver talking to Dad #checkingin

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Lucky to be with @badmofomcfly and @sparklesmcqueen as we march for peace #crosswalk #chicago #stonesouptheatreproject #gunviolence #tooyoungtodie

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This is how many people care tonight in downtown Chicago #crosswalk #tooyoungtodie #gunviolence #chicago #stonesouptheatreproject

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This is the number of kids that have been killed due to gun violence since 2008. Can't imagine having to bury a child and hope I never have to #crosswalk #stonesouptheatreproject #gunviolence #chicago #tooyoungtodie