abigailmarx

[abigailmarx]

Guy who heard the metaphor wrong the first time: "I feel like a kid in a candle store!"

[abigailmarx]

they should make class (from school) one hour per week and its the only class you have to take

[abigailmarx]

Is that a fish in your pocket or is uyor penis wrigglinh and writhing frantically in the hopesof returning to the sea

[abigailmarx]

[abigailmarx]

[abigailmarx]

real unaltered screenshot from my iphone

[abigailmarx]

actually i never experience negative consequences due to procrastination. i am occasionally blighted by god for unknowable reasons though

[abigailmarx]

you literally have no spirit of inquiry you don’t have a curious bone in your body and the whites of your eyes are sooooo dull. lol

[abigailmarx]

this line delivery has lived in my head for 10 years

[abigailmarx]

Me at the restaurant: An.. hour? Of happy? smiles That sounds lovely. That sounds really nice

[abigailmarx]

[abigailmarx]

"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.

[abigailmarx]

Can’t even be mad at stupid people anymore because half the time I’m just like “Ah I’ve Thought Wrong Like That Before”

[abigailmarx]

do not. sell my husband to one direction.

[abigailmarx]

[abigailmarx]

I wasn’t “born”. I was hired. By god.

[abigailmarx]