4leafchlovers

[4leafchlovers]

Idk sometimes yoga and walks are the answer sure but for me right now it’s screaming in the car and sprinting in the alley i feel so much better.

[4leafchlovers]

Everything we have going on inside us can’t be contained in one bubble or the other, so once we pick a bubble we gotta keep acting out the rest of our truths in the world.

[4leafchlovers]

Nothing paralyzes me like my own mind and a search engine that is complicit in my eager pursuit of what’s wrong with me

[4leafchlovers]

Do you ever touch something just to feel alive?

ought not cut something, know better than that

Why can bad things feel so nice?

It's 65 degrees this November night

The future's unsettling but now's all right.

The air is warm like a blanket

its heavy like a weighted blanket

its dark and cozy, and deprives my senses

what now?

The most priveledged country in the world is teetering tonight, again.

I remember not even worrying about him winning last time. There was just no concern that he could win.

I remember lying in bed listening to the results come in, in denial, feeling like a spolled child, upset she didn't get her way. now I'm more pre-emptively worried

Yet what can I do?

Ive played my part

the rest is up to the system,

this tainted system,

Is there more I could have done? Will I regret what I didn't do the last four years?

I remember the denial I felt -- how was there not some secret entity that could stop the absurdity of what happened?

How was there not some grand influencer behind the show of it all that kept the interest of control + satety of the country in place even if the system somehow let an erratic pot stirrer get to the top? It was so intense for me to see in real time how the governmental powers above could fail.

A system that doesh't allow for itself to adapt quickly enough, became suceptible to corruption.

At work, the veil of those leaders above me fell too. Where are the people trying to do what is best for the whole? with a "Let's figure this out" kind of attitude?

I fear I am fully an adult now, And I have to be the leader I wish to see, and stop hoping others will lead me the way I deserve to be -- we all deserve to be— led

[4leafchlovers]

Got up from my cube to get anything

from the vending machine

Been a stressful week for this cog

Welp, never did get my cheap dopamine

Cuz my coworker stopped me to talk about hysterectomies not being for me (cuz I’m a child-bearing-aged lady, obviously) and that time is ticking but, you know, i gotta do what’s best for me

Forgot about the junk food

Ass on toilet

Head on knees

Signed:

Yours Existentially