2022-fiction

[2022-fiction]

I leaned my head against the window in disbelief that anything was going to happen. “How much time has it been Davis?”, I said in a mellow tone, “Chill Jamal, it's been only 30 minutes, Jared said it could take up to one hour to feel the effects”. He was of course talking about the inconspicuous bag of mushrooms we had taken and nearly puked out… the flavour was something neither of us would ever get accustomed to. “Fair enough Davis… but this has to hit faster than the last dose we took '' he quickly interrupted me “It will hit harder, but I doubt it will hit faster dude”. He was right, but I still gave him a look of disbelief, trying to convince myself that I would not have to wait that long to feel the effects. Bored, I looked around the unfamiliar yet deja vu-esque apartment. I am partially convinced I had felt those cold tiles under my feet before, seen that distasteful painting next to the kitchen counter, slept in that stained, stinky mattress… yet it could not be, I had not been here before, last time we tripped was at my apartment, it was also Davis who was convinced we would have a better hallucinogenic experience on the 18th floor of this run down apartment building. I let that thought leave my mind and decided to concentrate on detecting any of the feelings which indicated the drug was performing the most desired chemical reactions in my brain. I looked at my hands, and I noticed how the lines which ran through my palms were performing the mildest of dances, as if they were shaking… “Yo, the visuals are starting to creep in '' I said, with a smile on my face, Davis was not there, I didn't think too much about it, I just wanted to enjoy this. The more I concentrated on the dancing lines the more they appeared to transform into a line of ants slowly walking through my hand, it was like I was in a trance. Once I finally lifted my view I noticed Davis had come back, he was looking at himself in the mirror, I slowly made my way towards him thinking to myself  “why are we so different, yet so connected” Before I noticed I was already next to him in the bathroom. As I extended my hand to grab his shoulder I only grabbed empty air, he had vanished yet again. Now, I was getting concerned, I did not want to spend this trip without my other self again, he completed me. I started pacing back and forth in the apartment, just to end up leaning my head against the window once again. Davis was the thing which made all my thoughts make sense, the one who held my hand through life, most of my days were governed by Davis not Jamal, I just wanted to become him. Was I even my own person anymore? I had felt this way more and more throughout the last months, but I was just continuously burying them down, it was as if the substance had forced me to take a break and think about him. Suddenly, the window opened under the weight of my head leaning on it. I stood thoughtfully letting the icy breeze envelop my body. The window was large enough to stand on the ledge, so I did, as I turned my head to look at the ever more familiar apartment I saw Davis looking at me, at that point we both knew I had made my decision, as I let go of the window sill I knew it was finally time to kill Jamal.

[2022-fiction]

Despite the pain that I felt in my heart, I knew maybe it was the comfort and sense of touch that I was missing, so I finally decided to open the app. As I progressed through the simple profile creation I stumbled upon pictures of us in our camera roll. Is this really done? I thought to myself… Maybe I could wait. No! I have to be a little bit selfish, in this scenario it is good to give love another shot. Instantly I was greeted by the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes upon. I swiped right. I put my phone down as I fell deeper into my sleep hoping that I would wake up to a message from her. The next morning I saw it was a match, right away I swiped through her bio looking for any ideas for conversation starters I could use. I decided to make a titanic reference by sending her a GIF of an iceberg and asking her “how's this for an ice breaker”. We kept texting throughout the day, she told me she was new in town and was willing to stay. I decided it was appropriate to take her to my favorite diner, despite the gloomy and snowy weather outside i thought that she might be the key, the key to fix my loneliness and move on with my life. She was different, at least superficially. Natalia was brunette and Lizzy was blonde. We agreed that I would meet her at the place where she was staying at 8:00pm sharp. I Ubered my way there, picked her up and then went to the diner. She looked amazing. Admittedly, I was kind of nervous after hearing all the horror stories of people catchfishing with these new dating apps. It was like I was transported into heaven, her smile and the way I made her laugh made me have butterflies in my stomach. I thought to myself: damn… she could be the one. One drink led to another and next thing I knew we were dancing the night away in a club. She was in my arms and she looked comfortable, so I decided to  kiss her. I woke up the next morning with her blonde hair in the corner of my eye. I couldn’t believe that I had gone home with her. I felt a sense of security when I was with her… they had very similar personalities and even the way she laid next to me was almost alike. I had let my everlasting love for Natalia take control of me and that I was lost in yet another spiral. I had to get out of here. I felt my palms getting sweaty and the anxiety creeping up from the bottom of my spine to the tips of the hairs on the back of my neck. I excused myself to use the bathroom. Once inside I saw a ray of light emanating from a window… Could I ? Should I? I thought as I felt my heart pounding harder against my chest. Every step I took towards the window came with a memory of Natalia. I finally stretched my hand out to the frosted window pane and let the chilly breeze in. As I took one step out of the window I knew I was also taking one step back in other regards…

[2022-fiction]

Everyday I have been looking through that glass pane with my slight reflection in view. I am a Twinkie, 18% fat and 12% cholesterol… I am scrumptious, but that scrumptiousness only belongs to the mighty gods. Giants towering over our faces, and as I looked at their humongous fingers I prayed my rack would be chosen for the day… “Cookie Congratulations! ”- Snickers exclaimed, from a few rows behind, as I saw him fall with a huge smile on his face and I punched the air with tears of happiness. At the end of the day this is the dream of all scrumptious creatures… being grasped. As Cookie was cheering and going into the promised land through the magic tunnel I could only picture myself experiencing this. From the day I found myself at the back of the rack, and as the light started touching me more day by day I have been more and more concrete about my life purpose, making it to the end. “Twinkie?”- Snickers said, “What's up?” I responded, “How does it feel to be a 2?” referring to my rack position, “It feels like what once was a light breeze gets stronger day by day, like a volcano which gets more rowdy with every orbit of our planet, like two heads moving in slow motion, lips getting closer and closer with every passing night”. “I can feel it happening already!” he exclaimed, “it’s the ultimate transition! Also, cookie, what is my expiration date again ?” “It’s in 3 days, Twinkie,” he said in a saddened voice. Silence obviously followed, us scrumptious creatures do not like talking about expiries. The next day arrived, and just like clockwork the giant arrived, yet, this time it was different, a Snickers was chosen. I could hear my friend's joy as the coils in the carousel slowly moved forward. Later that day one of the gods blessed the twinkie kind and our carousel moved…  The same high I felt that first day I was pushed forward came rushing down my veins, it was a complete headrush… I was number 1. The rest of the day I did what every scrumptious creature does before they drop, self reflected on my arduous physical and mental journey through the rack and have late night conversations with my closest friends. As the sun rose once again the cycle repeated, but this time, as the god made his selection no one fell, he aggressively punched our home various times and then left. I knew everyone was confused, but no one said a word out of scaredness. The sound of a single set of footsteps finally broke the silence, “Mark, just change the products already, we already had a customer complain we turned off the machine” “ I am walking to the machine right now, don't worry, talk to you later”. The god finally approaches the machine, with a large box of red round objects in one hand, keys rattling on the other. As he inserted the keys into the hole in the pane the window swung open, and one by one with shrieks of horror the scrumptious creatures were replaced by the round red items, and thrown into a black bag. I was next, the god grasped me and even though I felt the high like never before, it was short lived as I fell into my final resting place in the bag.