#this is what happens in bg3 if you break your oath as a paladin

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

@buckysleftarm replied to your post:

After reading this, I happened across this video: https://youtube.com/shorts/-X5l5GFeg1k?si=H2lrsmx0pv60wn1h They're not in our camp anymore and I wouldn't know how to view the non companions anyway on PS5, but it feels like she definitely is taking some time off from Selune without breaking her oath full?

I sure did use this reply as an excuse to mash out a giant post! Hope you don't mind.

I do actually love that you've brought this up, because I keep seeing variants of it around and have been wanting to comment on it, if for nothing else than to make me feel better. The gist of it goes something like this: after killing Lorroakan, Aylin's "Child of the Moonmaiden" ability no longer shows up when you examine her character sheet, meaning her immortality has been taken away, she is being punished by her mother, has broken her paladin oath, or is feuding with her in some other way. Now... people in the comments of that video sure have takes on Selûne and on Aylin and on paladin oaths and aasimar abilities in general that make giant question marks spawn above my head. 

Personally? I dislike it immensely and think it makes zero sense for a variety of reasons, both in-universe and out! To be fair, as with most headcanons and theories, I'd genuinely love to see someone get creative and do something interesting with it. But I have this knee-jerk reaction to it because so far I've only seen it in the context of people parroting it completely uncritically, just regurgitating it on endless reddit or forum or discord threads and what have you, and actually shutting down or completely derailing Aylin-related discussion. Which frustrates me, obviously, because I want cool, detailed, thought-out takes on my fave, always, and - to be really petty for a moment - since my fave isn't the fandom darling, I only get crumbs to start with! It grinds my gears because so very often I'll want to read this potentially interesting thread about a character I love, but nope, instead here's a dozen comments how "nah man she broke her oath and there's special oathbreaker paladin dialogue with her about it" - no there isn't. That's a very easily verifiable fact, my guy. You made that up, my dude. How dare you just go and make things up on the internet. 

A ton of BG3 discussion has been flooded with a weird wave of statements that are just put there as well-known fact but in reality read like "I heard from a friend whose uncle works at the Nintendo Larian department and he told him Halsin went on a special mission and killed Isobel a century ago because he wanted to emotionally compromise Ketheric but then playtesters reacted badly to it and Wizards made them take it out but it's still hinted in the game, and also if you use an Elixir of Hill Giant Strength and do an unarmed attack on the cart at the entrance of the Emerald Grove you can get Mew" and I find it so grating. And then people waste time debunking this and arguing in the same circles and nobody ever moves on to more interesting stuff. I say this, as if I haven't been an active participant of internet fandom for decades and have literally anyone but myself to blame here, hah.

For instance, the way you phrased it here, as Aylin herself taking a break or trying to step away instead of the "being abandoned and punished by her mother" angle from the video and the comments? That's something I think has potential and something I want to rotate in my mind - would she do it? Could she do it? What would this entail and what would it mean for her? What would actually be enough to prompt her to even try? And it's cool that a little gameplay mechanic thingy prompted that! However - and I'm keeping it kinda vague because I don't want to spoil you on things that happen after the point you seem to be at - if we're talking purely established canon things and not brainstorming an AU or a post-game trajectory for this character, there is nothing actually in the game to indicate Aylin is taking a break from Selûne or her duties, especially not to the extent of having any of her abilities suspended. Quite the contrary, in fact. Everything we get from her and Isobel after the Lorroakan situation is handled shows she is, for better or worse, very much resolved to be her old self and very righteously angry and smiting evil in her mother's name as the Sword of Selûne and actively engaged in protecting Selûnites Realms-wide, and she has her full set of powers and blessings while doing so.

In this essay I will In the rest of this post I will try to be less cranky and I'm going to get a bit technical to try to actually explain what is going on with the "Child of the Moonmaiden" ability.

TL;DR: the buff is disabled as soon as Aylin enters the wizard tower, before any fight or backbreaking or feelings of loss and sadness, likely for the purpose of you being able to win or lose the fight no matter if you side with Aylin or betray her. It is a purely mechanical contrivance and has no narrative meaning, nor is its presence or absence mentioned or reflected in the narrative at all.

Here's Aylin in camp just before being told about the wizard:

Here she is at the start of the fight, when she is sided with:

And here she is, when you side against her:

The above is an oversimplification, however, because the actual implementation of Aylin's immortality is a bit of a mess.

There are two implementations of her resurrection active in the game, and both are implemented as a Status: "GLO_NIGHTSONGRESURRECTION" and "GLO_NIGHTSONG_RESURRECTION". Now, I don't know what was going on there and I'm certainly not a Larian dev, but that underscore situation there is... weird. I also don't know enough about BG3-specific scripting yet to come up with an explanation on why there would be two variants of it at all - if anyone does, please let me know! I'm very curious. However, these two implementations of her resurrection ability work very differently, and you can see the effects of both of them in-game. 

The first one, GLO_NIGHTSONGRESURRECTION, is named "Moonmaiden's Reconstitution" and is tied to the "Child of the Moonmaiden" Passive (itself called SHA_NightsongResurrection, side note: GLO is the "global" prefix and SHA is a prefix that signifies the Gauntlet of Shar area in Act 2). This ability makes Aylin auto-stabilise when downed instead of rolling death saves, go into the kneeling stabilised animation where she can be helped up or healed just like your party members - you know the one, with the little asterisk hovering above them. Then on the start of her next turn she heals for exactly 1HP (unless she's under a healing-disabling effect, such as Bone Chill, which is why people have trouble with her in the Myrkul fight) and she has only her Bonus Action, the same as any other previously downed character.

Mechanically, it applies the "GLO_NIGHTSONGRESURRECTION_DOWNED" Status to her which modifies what happens when she is Downed to implement the above non-standard behaviour, and also does stuff like turn off her Moonbeam if she had it active.

The "Moonmaiden's Reconstitution" Status itself is completely invisible in-game: it has properties such as "DisableOverhead;DisableCombatlog;DisablePortraitIndicator" aka doesn't show up as that little text popup above the character, doesn't show up in the combat log, and doesn't have a visible indicator icon anywhere.

The description for "Child of the Moonmaiden" is:

"Blessed with the favour of a goddess, Nightsong cannot be permanently killed. When unconscious, [at] the start of her turn she recovers 1 hit point."

The second one, GLO_NIGHTSONG_RESURRECTION with the extra underscore, is a Status called "Nightsong Soars Eternal", and that one doesn't have any other Statuses or Passives tied to it, it simply resurrects her immediately when she dies, and at full health. When it triggers, you can actually see her portrait drop out of the initiative tracker at the top of the screen as if she completely died, and then she gets put in again. This one is active even when the first one isn't, so you can see it in places like camp after she comes back from Lorroakan, and after she comes back for the finale all the way until the end of the game - and by "see it" I mean since it doesn't have any Passive ability connected to it, you have to actually get Aylin killed to see it trigger (I'm so sorry Aylin, it was important for the post, I swear).

The description for "Nightsong Soars Eternal" is:

"Nightsong will be resurrected by the powers of Selûne whenever she dies."

In Lorroakan's tower, BOTH of these are disabled, and if downed, Aylin will just lie there as if she died for real with the little red skull and the "Dead" status until she gets rezzed for a cutscene after the fight or, if betrayed, you go to long rest and then come back to see Lorroakan's progress, at which point she will be up and in the cage with a total of 1HP and that "Soul Caged" status instead. 

Note again that she visibly has "Child of the Moonmaiden" disabled as soon as she enters the wizard tower area, betrayed or not, before she does anything to anyone. It's a way of making sure the Lorroakan fight is actually winnable/loseable/concludable without her getting stuck in that revive with 1HP at the start of her turn loop. "Nightsong Soars Eternal" also obviously doesn't trigger. Instead she says her "I will rise again!" line and stays down. She has every other ability and buff active normally, even ones that explicitly mention coming from Selûne, like her iconic following Moonbeam, for example, or her fancy unique Smite.

Again, significantly: she does not have her immortality buffs if you fight against her, either, betraying her and causing Selûne's wrath and desire to protect her daughter to manifest physically in the room, including empowering Aylin herself with buffs that are called things like "Moonmother's Embrace". See what I'm getting at?

Interestingly, she also doesn't have it when you first meet her:

What does this all mean? Well, I'd say that if we took every gameplay/implementation thing about this game as in-universe gospel, Aylin herself would look a lot different and be far more scaly, for one.

(Makes me chuckle every time.)

In all seriousness, though, if something as big as this happened to a side but still fairly prominent character, the game would tell us about it. Or at least make a bigger deal of it than the deactivation of a passive ability visible on the Examine screen that many people sadly don't really tend to look at and read.

And here's the best thing: nobody has to take my word for any of this, you can see for yourself, without actually knowing how to unpack game files or having my frankly ridiculous amount of hard saves! I think this is super helpful in general, especially for people playing on console:

Here's a link to a truly amazing and consistently updated resource - every bit of dialogue in the game, nicely parsed and laid out and super readable (as well as some additional tools to play around with). 

Here's a website where you can search inside BG3 scripts and other files and take a look at a lot of the nitty-gritty implementation stuff in a convenient way.

I recognise that I go way too deep into things and overstuff my brain with minutiae, but that's just how I work. I take forever to post anything anywhere on the internet because I just physically cannot click a post button without triple-checking everything and quoting and screenshotting things, even if it's the same thing for the twentieth time, and that's certainly a me problem. I very much don't expect people to do things my way, but I also find the games of telephone these things so rapidly become really frustrating, you know?

But my biggest problem with this particular Aylin thing - beyond the annoying preponderance of it, as I've already whined - is that in-universe it just makes no sense and I, an aasimar paladin enjoyer, personally dislike it.

Oath of Vengeance paladins abide by the following tenets: Fight the Greater Evil. Exerting your wisdom, identify the higher morality in any given instance, and fight for it. No Mercy for the Wicked. Chasten those who dole out their villainy by wiping their blight from the world forever.

Putting the rest of this post under a cut because it's long and ranty and you didn't actually ask for it.

My first problem: the common argument that Aylin is in the wrong for killing Lorroakan like she did because he has "done nothing to her yet", and that she breaks her Oath of Vengeance because she attacked him preemptively.

The man put a price on her head and sent violent mercs to beat her up and kidnap her. He tries to (temporarily) kill her and imprison her as soon as she refuses to cooperate by… demurely waltzing into the prison and putting the chains on herself? He knows exactly who she is, what has been done to her, and he wants to do it again - no, doesn't want to, he is actively doing it again. The fact that (if you side with Aylin) he fails mid-attempt doesn't make him innocent of it. He refuses to stop and, if denied, gets violent and murderous. 

Player: Have it your way. I'll bring her here. Lorroakan: Good. I was growing scared for you. The last person who disappointed me is suffering for it still. Do not return without my prize. Do you hear me? Good day.

Player: I'll think about it. Lorroakan: You aren't the only one who knows what's on offer for the Nightsong's retrieval. Consider carefully whether you'd like to see your fortune in someone else's hands. Someone who might slip into your camp at any moment, or harry you through street and inn until you're run ragged and surrender. The choice is yours: fortune or imminent death. I know you'll choose wisely.

Mark my words: the Nightsong is mine. With or without your help, she will ascend to her grand fate here, in this tower.

Player: You heard me. The answer is no. Lorroakan: Pity. Then again, perhaps word of your agonising death will draw your little friend to me. Myrmidons - imperatum!

He is fully equipped for it and has set up a whole magical trap and is just waiting for her to show up to trigger it, or for someone to drag her there against her will. He says she will go into the cage "kicking and screaming" and really, this is who she is wrong for "picking a fight with" and "attacking preemptively"? Surely nobody actually thinks that Aylin is at fault here or that she actually overreacted by killing him? I don't really want to go into some people's really, really shitty attitudes towards Aylin for sadly entirely predictable reasons but… man. She went over there and threatened him with violence, demanding an explanation after he sent cronies to attack her in her sleep? Wow, what a weird thing to do. Also, he literally is the one to attack first! She is there threatening and goading him, doing her little "face me charlatan" bit, but he is the one who sics the myrmidons on her (or the player) and actually starts the fight, every time. To be clear, I don't think this is very relevant at all, but people do seem to love bringing it up.

Is Aylin brash and reckless and clearly struggling after her captivity, dealing with rapidly flaring up anger and outbursts of violence - only ever, may I emphasise, towards actually horrid people, and she is really rather shockingly forgiving and tolerant of the player character messing with her? Yes! Does she seem to have that classical aspect of "she might go too far one day" or "she might lose herself in the anger and vengeance if she focuses on it exclusively"? Absolutely! Do I think she could have been, say, a Devotion paladin before her imprisonment and it might have been the betrayal and century in the Shadowfell that made her change to Vengeance instead? I love that idea! I also think it's likely she has just always been a very zealous, very smitey and offence-oriented Vengeance paladin, called Selûne's sword for a very good reason, fulfilling a very important role in the ongoing struggle against Shar.

And the whole problem is… Lorroakan will, as we've seen, not stop trying, and people like him will always be around and never stop coming after her especially now that the cat's apparently out of the bag after Balthazar, and Aylin needs to live with this, forever. That is why she is so messed up about this one rando wizard she's never met before. That is why this specific incident is so triggering for her. She has just escaped torment on a timescale that's not something the normal human mind can really grasp. "In this moment, I want for nothing." ended up lasting, indeed, barely a moment! Her mum is a powerful god and right now it seems that what Aylin actually gets from it is having a target painted on her back and, to quote Isobel, she can be hurt just like anyone else, she just gets to suffer longer! She keeps being dealt these shit hands and, yeah, it'd make anyone go… why? Seems unfair, right? What exactly is the point of this? 

The various dialogue options you have while warning her about Lorroakan's intentions and which include trying to convince her to just leave him be include her being so, so frustrated, and so understandably, it makes me feel horrible for her. 

She always ultimately goes to confront him, because she has no other real choice. He will keep coming after her, he will keep sending people after her, and she will never, ever get a bit of rest, and she's, what, supposed to go live in hiding somewhere if you convince him she's dead? Until the jig is inevitably up or this guy dies by someone else's hand? And there's also the element Aylin herself will point out if you keep her in the dark about the plot and Aradin and his cronies come to attack your camp: how long until someone hurts Isobel during one of these attempts or actively goes after her as a bargaining chip?

I guess I just genuinely do not understand the arguments about this guy who has been deliberately constructed to be a horrible, hateful piece of shit with exactly zero redeeming qualities, to an almost comical extent. He beats his apprentice and uses his assistant for target practice! He's a sick, sick asshole! His life's dream rests on kidnapping and enslavement! The guy is conspiring and trying to ally with Ketheric and Balthazar of all people: 

Lorroakan,

I have responded out of respect to my counsellor, Balthazar, who advises me that you may prove a loyal ally in the coming fight. I understand you wish to know about the soul cage which binds the Nightsong to me. Details, I cannot and will not provide. But the magic itself is necromantic in nature, designed by my aforementioned counsellor. I hope your curiosity is satisfied.

General Ketheric Thorm

This is who people think a vengeance pally will break her oath over? Over what, a technicality of who struck first? "Desecrating a corpse"? No, it was Ketheric she did that to, and nothing happened. She just finished this guy off in a violent and dramatic fashion. 

While you can play a paladin yourself and kill so many people in so many ways without anything happening, this is more of a consideration if you play Oath of Devotion or Ancients. It's also one that makes parts of the game harder - comically evil cultists torturing and executing prisoners cannot simply be attacked out of nowhere, and instead you need to announce your challenge first. You need to walk up to them and start talking, establish their villainy, and then fight "fairly". This is also partially an issue arising from the implementation of hostility flags and game logic, by the way. However, Oath of Vengeance gives precious few fucks about this and is a really hard oath to break. In fact, in a very similar situation to the wizard tower, in the House of Grief, you break the Oath of Vengeance if you spare Viconia - at that point lying on the floor soundly defeated and bleeding out much the same way Lorroakan was. Viconia who, may I note, never "did anything to you" but did harm a friend of yours.

Also, and this is a whole separate discussion, but... it's a FR DnD game. You kill bad guys in it. You kill vaguely morally grey, or even good guys in it. You and your friends kill so many people before this point. Multi-act quest arcs conclude with "go to place and kill someone". You mete out "justice" personally, repeatedly, and can harp on that fact, especially if you're playing a paladin. You don't exactly call the guards on people instead, even in the middle of the city. Ludo-narrative dissonance or no, why would this one wizard suddenly be different, and why would this one woman be singled out for a thus far completely typical approach and set of actions? 

My second problem: a great big "Selûne wouldn't do that". I understand Forgotten Realms "lore" is a giant unwieldy self-contradicting mess of a beast and I'm not saying people should be scholars of it to participate in the discussion, far from it, but I would like them to engage with what is presented in the game itself at least.

For the most succinct possible example, look at what Selûne does when Aylin is betrayed. She buffs her in order to enable her to violently and zealously win that fight. Literally empowers Aylin to smack her enemies around more and with greater strength and also burn them alive in holy fire. Not after she's imprisoned and well and truly "wronged", but during this fabulously absolving "mere attempt" on Lorroakan's part.

Also, may I point out the sweet little shielding- and healing-focused cleric of the same goddess is actively disappointed that you and Aylin won't let her come with to hit the guy a few times herself! This goes for the entire party of assorted weirdos, goody-good or otherwise, who firmly believe Aylin should just obliterate that guy. Like, c'mon, my man Wyll! (Super sad and touching exception: Karlach, if you've killed Gortash already. When she begs you not to tell Aylin about any of it at all and go deal with the wizard yourselves, just so Aylin can have a bit more peace and keep her sword sheathed for just a little while longer. Ow, my heart.)

In summary, basically, my twofold beef:

"Selûne punishing and abandoning her daughter for over-zealously defending herself" - nonsensical and uninteresting. Stops people from actually delving into and discussing the complexities of that relationship.

"OoV paladin broke her oath by killing an evil wizard who is actively trying to do horrible things to her and attacks her" - nonsensical and uninteresting. Let's instead actually engage with the material and discuss Aylin's trauma and how she might deal or not deal with it in good or bad ways. What would recovery even look like, for her. How does the way she intrinsically ties her entire being into being a smite-happy moon-magic knight play into it. Let's actually consider the weight and role of duty in her life and the wombo-combo of being an aasimar paladin, an existence with a very "purpose-made" aspect to it. You know, the good ol' Being A Sword thing, including being born into it. Combined with being rather suddenly rather intensely humanised by a loving relationship with a mortal woman, with all sorts of ticking clocks, unique challenges, and both past and pending tragedy there.

Or let's talk about the dissonance present in Aylin's cool and badass scenes of smiting deserving evil. Scenes that go into very violent and very over the top territory, that make you both cheer and cringe, that make a point of showing the other characters reacting in shock. Because I genuinely feel so bad for her and deeply worried for her, all while my silly little brain goes fuck yeah smite him shiny lady! Ooooh look, a flashy Aylin scene, ripping a deserving villain to pieces! But at what cost to herself? Feels so good to have someone deliver some justice! But if I think about it for 5 seconds I don't actually want her to - no, no, I do. I don't want her to have to, is the thing. (It's kind of like that one Gundam meme.)

I will conclude this mess by doing a salty little yeah. It's fine, this is fine, this is sadly pretty much part of the standard experience of liking a female character in fandom. God forbid women do anything indeed. Outside of a few select, narrow and highly dedicated circles, half the (scarce) posts about her are something that's either flat-out wrong, or just assumes the absolute worst of her and reduces her to two and a half shitty stereotypes, and half the fics tagged with her are actually about fandom's favourite two dudes and barely feature her at all.

And on that note, I'm off to actually be a positive force and poke at my own fic some more.

[eastgaysian]

curious if u have more thoughts on the 'durge as a metanarrative' thing

i have a vague sense that i saw someone mention this idea in a post or article, thought the idea was super interesting, and have been rolling it around my head ever since. however i don't remember who wrote that or if i just imagined it so if anyone else has seen this pls link me...

so broadly speaking, when it comes to giving players freedom of choice in an rpg, i think the most difficult player behavior for a developer to work with is npc killing. if you let the player kill every npc they run across, that's probably going to fuck up your design in some way, if not create a full softlock. those npcs provide information, serve mechanical purposes as merchants/healers/gatekeepers or openers, give out quests and then powerful or story-significant rewards for those quests, etc, etc. allowing players to kill everyone they meet while making sure that doesn't break the game requires a lot of work put into contingencies that most players won't see. but if you don't let players kill npcs/make certain important npcs unkillable, you limit player freedom and break immersion. todd howard what do you mean i can't kill the guy who introduced me to windhelm by being racist in the middle of the city. what greater narrative purpose does he serve

on the player's side, though, someone who's going around killing the story-essential npcs probably isn't playing the game 'as intended,' which is to say having fun by immersing themselves in the world of the game and making choices based on the character they're roleplaying. someone who's going around killing every npc possible is almost definitely playing against the game, just doing it to see what happens and find out if the game has a breaking point - and they're probably not even really having fun with it, because they're not only cutting themself off from the game's content, but going through the time and labor-intensive slog of killing hundreds of npcs spread across the entirety of the game world.

i think the dark urge as a concept offers some fun potential to play with both the developer and player side of npc killing. it's a fully intended, deliberately designed way of experiencing bg3 that hinges upon you as player and as character being encouraged to murder people, and it gets kicked off by an npc getting killed without your input - an npc that can have a presence throughout the entire game as well as offer you an extremely powerful quest reward. after that, though, every kill is up to the player. sceleritas fel urges you along and promises rewards, but there's one (1) dc 14 check between you and a murderless durge playthrough.

so the dark urge provides a story template where it becomes immersive and in-character for you to kill everyone possible, unlocking new story beats and rewards by killing npcs and losing out on their content, but it's also completely possible to interpret you, the player, as the irresistible dark urge making your in-game character kill as many people as possible for the hell of it. the moment in dak-wai's playthrough that got stuck in my brain forever was when i killed isobel, just to see what would happen (i saved before with the full intent of loading it back up and doing a Good Run), and realized that this hadn't broken their paladin oath. i'm still uncertain if this is an intended aspect of a dark urge playthrough or just a quirk of the flags surrounding isobel's death/kidnapping, but combined with the dialogue options that allow durge to insist that they kill as a result of compulsions against their will, the implications fascinate me.

in a durge playthrough, the game allows you to fully separate the decision you the player made from the decision the character you're playing would have made, and it makes sense in the story. that's cool as hell! i would've loved if larian leaned into this a little more. not necessarily in a way that fully breaks the fourth wall, but more 'evil run' content that is exclusive to a game where you've killed the good guys would add a lot of depth to this idea, as well as more exploration of the extent to which The Urge can be separated from your character, and just straight up more scenes where the player gets to fully choose whether to lean into or resist the urge. in-universe, it's bhaal's fault, but out of universe, that's all You babey. you, the player doing a kill all npcs run for your youtube channel, are the murder god who spawned a child designed to cause as many deaths as possible. don't you think that's neat? i think that's neat

[lanaevyssmoved]

Do you have any other bg3 ocs other than afhiri? If yes then is it okay to tell us about them ? If no then why (again if its okay to talk about this) ?

hihihi yes i do!!!!!!!!!! i've been asked a question like this before and i haven't improved with talking about them since so i clearly haven't learnt a thing in that time but since things have changed since then i will update :D

my character page currently only hosts bg3 ocs, and you can find it here! i've only really worked on afhiri's page however so it's basically just basic information.. however i've also hit this point where i feel like i probably can't actually play bg3 as anyone but afhiri? it would feel.. wrong. so.. bare that in mind

last time i did this i included pictures but i won't this time because one of my main ocs literally can't have a picture unless i.. worked with an artist to finalise it's design. and i don't see that happening and that oc is too important to feel like the loser no picture in a sea of pictures LKSDJFDSFDSF

uhhh undercut so i'm not too annoying !!!!!!!!! warning i wrote A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so afhiri wasn't my first playthrough! in fact the oc of my first playthrough is on my blog!!! all the way back on release! however this was back when i wasn't reeallyyyy that talkative on tumblr so there's only a tiny bit.

that oc is default name tav, because my nonbinary ass fucking loves that name ngl. tav is a half wood-elf strong body oath of the ancients paladin. they use they/he pronouns and are transmasc. his background is folk hero and he is lawful good, and is the typical hero paladin - all about justice and honour and order. tav pushed gale away from the crown as hard as possible and is quite a domineering force to reckon with. my favourite part of tav is how they do not fit the oath of the ancients at all - let's look at oath of the ancients closely for a moment.

The Oath of the Ancients is as old as the race of elves and the rituals of the druids. Sometimes called fey knights, green knights, or horned knights, paladins who swear this oath cast their lot with the side of the light in the cosmic struggle against darkness because they love the beautiful and life-giving things of the world, not necessarily because they believe in principles of honor, courage, and justice. They adorn their armor and clothing with images of growing things-leaves, antlers, or flowers-to reflect their commitment to preserving life and light in the world. Kindle the Light. Through your acts of mercy, kindness, and forgiveness, kindle the light of hope in the world, beating back despair. Shelter the Light. Where there is good, beauty, love, and laughter in the world, stand against the wickedness that would swallow it. Where life flourishes, stand against the forces that would render it barren. Preserve Your Own Light. Delight in song and laughter, in beauty and art. If you allow the light to die in your own heart, you can't preserve it in the world. Be the Light. Be a glorious beacon for all who live in despair. Let the light of your joy and courage shine forth in all your deeds.

tav isn't about mercy, kindness or forgiveness. tab truly believes in the principles of honour, courage and justice. tav isn't singing and dancing and laughing, enjoying the arts. but that doesn't matter. tav finds toril to be beautiful, worth preserving and worth protecting. worth dying for. tav has a spiritual moment with the myconids that had them on their knees in tears at how overwhelming the underdark is and the beauty of the life there - never seen before by his eyes. while tav doesn't fit what the ancients oath is - tav believes in it wholeheartedly, adorning themselves in rich greens the best they can to represent their oath. the hypocricy of tav is the charm point - he would be much better suited for many of the other oaths. but that would be surface level devotion. tav is alive to protect this world, that's all that matters. due to the conflicts in tav, he breaks his oath 6 times - and reclaims it each time. he is doing his best. ^_^

tav is very close with halsin and jaheira, and has a headbutting romantic relationship with gale. he likes minsc, wyll and karlach. lae'zel and he have a relationship based on sparring and mutual respect in skill of combat. he's neutral with shadowheart and antagonistic to astarion - who is killed in act 1. minthara is also dead. tav struggles with the emperor because they can't decide if they believe illithids to be abhorrent to the world, or another beautiful thing they don't understand - but ultimately sides with orpheus.

tav also exists in au form in afhiri's universe as an npc!

~~~

my next protagonist is asura. asura is my evil playthrough! who i've promised myself i will do eventually. eventually..... asura is not the dark urge and is just a tav. my idea of asura was to create a character full of hubris and hunger for power. my tadpole eating half-illithid turned illithid. she uses she/her exclusively, except after transformation to illithid she also uses it/its. asura is a coffelock (sorcerer aberrant mind + warlock great old one). her background is noble and is evil aligned - i'm not sure exactly where currently.. most likely neutral evil, shifting to lawful evil later on. this is the 'gale take the crown' and 'ascend astarion' and 'sharran shadowheart' etc character.

i currently have her set to romance minthara, i really like the idea of doing the 'thrall army invade menzoberranzan' ending with them both, where they take over the underdark and rule it together, with hunger for more always simmering.

asura is not a good person, but isn't like a murder hobbo. she thinks she is better than everyone, that she is the most deserving of power, but also enjoys the corruption of others and treats people as playthings to be used, enjoyed, thrown away. turning the other companions more evil aligned and fucking with their morals is pleasurable for her. she enjoys making people squirm and kneel.

her relationship with minthara is tricky because asura would never submit, but in time they both find each other to be equal and worthy of respect. does not mean it's at all healthy and there's not some fuckery going on. minthara is slow dosing poison to asura while asura is casting spells on her like she's a guinea pig without consent. toxic gfs!

asura isn't close with anyone but minthara, but is on 'good' terms with sharran shadowheart and lae'zel. she is antagonist with gale and astarion. wyll, karlach, halsin, jaheira and minsc are dead. asura is the lover of the emperor, and sides with him, but i would be remiss to call them true allies. you can also assume pretty much everyone killable is dead here.. or tormented in some way. some people are left alive for the fun of ruining their lives or twisting them into something worse.

~~~

and now we have my durge! my durge has been more heavily featured on my blog because i tried to play her - until her save bugged out and durge exclusive cutscenes wouldn't play and would just skip? so i quit :D

my durge is rue. named intentionally as rue is in the word durge, rue this day, etc etc. rue is also later known as rue the impaler, lovingly. rue uses she/her exclusively. she is a half drow, and her starter class is sorcerer. as her story progresses, she specs into barbarian. both wild magic! her alignment is true neutral, and consistently shifts in multiple directions, highlighting the conflict within her.

when i made rue she was entirely based on those fucked up kitten memes. where it's just like, a kitten. and the text is MURDER MAIM VIOLENCE etc for no reason... yeah. think of rue as a kitten with spiked out fur looking all disheveled. when designing her looks i thought about those like emo girls who wear massively oversized jumpers and ripped up tights and thick fucking boots and they are super tiny.

rue is primarily a resist urge, but that isn't always the case. she has enough moral compasses surrounding her to keep her mostly on a better track, with intent to preserve her soul and secure herself a good afterlife, instead of whatever she assumes will come of her if she follows what her father desires. rue firmly believes she will live a short life and with the help of those around her, tries her hardest.

i have been having thoughts of shoving rue into afhiri's canon instead of having her as her own protagonist - but i'm not sold on that yet.

rue isn't particularly close with anyone except her love interest, wyll. she is on good to decent terms with karlach, gale, shadowheart, halsin, jaheira and minsc, all of them playing their part in assisting rue when she needs it - moral compass and redemption wise. she is neutral with lae'zel. astarion and minthara are both dead. she is antagonist with the emperor, siding with orpheus.

~~~

all ocs from here on are NOT protagonists!

since i started with tav on the protagonists, i'll start with.. tav here! but not the same tav! and they have the same name with intent! bare with me.

tav is tav's twin sibling. the actual given named tav is my paladin, their twin sibling, tav, simply took their name.. with intent to fuck with them. i have never given tav an actual name because it's not important - it's dead as far as they are concerned. just two tav's, man. to keep it easy, when referring to my protagonist paladin tav i'll just say paladin tav.

tav is a half-wood elf (obviously) college of whispers bard and inquisitive rogue multiclass. they exclusively use they/them pronouns. their alignment is neutrally aligned, shifting between true neutral and chaotic neutral.

tav is both a member of the zhentarim and the guild - playing both sides, loyal to neither. constantly risking their own neck, finding pleasure in the danger of it, the collection of information and gold, always lying and staying two steps ahead. tav has both a romantic relationship with rugan and nine-fingers, the former for petty information as they works the zhent ladder, and the later proof of conquest as they've already climbed the ladder and made their way to the top - granting them some protection when people whisper of their duel allegiance. if push came to shove, they'd leave it all and go to another part of toril and start again.

you can see how a character like this can do damage to paladin tav's reputation, the name being referred to as a thief and a snake who works in the black markets and threatening innocent folks. this is why his twin stole his name - not only is it funny to ruin their siblings reputation, but it also means that sometimes the name can be referred to as the noble deeds of a paladin, using it to their advantage.

tav is both a part of paladin tavs universe and afhiri's!

~~~

i'll talk about druthaea next, or rather just dru. dru was originally a protagonist whos story didn't work in context of the games endings so much so that i'd have to rewrite much of the game to make it work that i just.. gave up, because i wasn't passionate enough to go through that effort and make sure it makes sense.

dru's original story was going to be a story of pushing the powerful of the story to surpass their opressors or gods. gale becomes the new god of magic, shadowheart surpasses shar and takes her place as the god of loss, lae'zel rules the githyanki people, ascendant astarion, etc. however you can see how much work i would have to put in to make some of that work right.. yeah. okay. moving on to what she is now LOL

dru is a high elf who truly, with her entire soul, believes she is an eladrin, as in noble (fey) eladrin. she uses she/her pronouns. she is a wild magic sorcerer - blessed to her when she stumbled upon the fey realm one time, the source of her delusions.

dru lives the life one would akin to a crazy wizard, locked within her tower pouring over tomes and messing with deadly experiments, however she doesn't spec into wizard - she isn't stable enough to actually study and improve with learnt magic - she just.. fucks around and finds out.

she does unfortunately suffer quite a great deal in her disillusionment, having dreams or rather nightmares that reveal her truth - that she is just a common eladrin, a high elf, and not greater. dru exists, for me, as a trans allegory heavy on dysphoria, as well as suffering from hallucinations and other less pleasant things that would require a trigger warning on this post. she is quite dear to me for these reasons.

while existing in afhiri's universe now, she and afhiri never meet - she is just a piece of that world.

~~~

next is candor, who is very well developed and has been developing alongside afhiri for some time now.

candor is a solar, a type of angel. highest in rank, most powerful of all the angels. in 5e lore, there are only a few solar at a time, i believe currently there are 24 known. zariel was a solar before she fell. candor is exiled before the events of the game, though the choice was his own. having been in service of lathander for millennia, the events of one moment in history led him to seek exile - to find himself and his purpose.

candor has been heavily intertwined with existing realms lore for my own purposes, so if you're really into the realms lore you might not like what i do with candor? or whatever so. many stop here cuz you probs won't like the oc after either LOL

for gameplay reasons (candor is a hireling in game for afhiri), he is a cleric of lathander, light subclass, and a redemption paladin (devotion in game). in actual canon, candor doesn't have a class, and is just a 'monster', large celestial. he uses he/it pronouns, and is lawful good.

the lore that candor ties into is the lore of the blood of lathander, which is his weapon. it was candor who acted as the avatar of lathander and and smote the fallen chosen of mystra, sammaster. it was his blood that was spilled, and his mace that was left in the care of the priests. during the course of the story, candor is reunited with his mace.

on toril, during its exile, candor takes the form of a tiefling - having seen a small tiefling child playing, taking the form to approach her and introduce himself to the world of toril, pretending to be an average person there, not an angel of high regard. he keeps watch of this tiefling child, noting something different about them, and finding a need within himself to protect and guide her, giving himself purpose during his self imposed exile from the upper planes. this tiefling child is blessed with wild magic by the time he meets them - and uses his power to stop that wild magic from causing any harm or damage to themselves or those around them from a distance.

when this tiefling child is a child no more, setting out on their own to adventure, candor approaches again with a proper introduction - having studied the people of baldur's gate and surrounding land, calling himself candor, having chose the name for himself as a virtue name akin to that of other tiefling it has met, hoping the tiefling understood it's meaning.. but they didn't, much to candors dismay.

if you haven't already guessed, the child no more is afhiri! candor acts as a full companion over the course of the game, and is the only reason afhiri is able to survive her wild magic (while not understanding it's coming from her and not realising how dangerous it can be) and survive the wilds and her adventures for the year she travels before the events of the game. much of candors early development came from "wait a minute how the fuck is afhiri alive" because uh.. the clown wouldn't be. she just wouldn't!

over the course of the game, candor has an interesting dynamic with gale, who candor distrusts inherently due to his position of a wizard, ex-chosen of mystra, and ex-lover of mystra. at the end of the game, candor feels content with his work on toril, and returns to the upper planes, agreeing to work in service of lathander again, his mace in hand. during my 3 years later fic, when afhiri is unfortunately killed, it is candor who greets her soul in limbo, and begins escorting her to lathander, who candor has worked hard with to make him accept afhiri despite her lack of faith in.. well anything, but is ripped from candor when gale resurrects her. that doesn't do much for their sour relationship lol.

candor and afhiri have a romantic relationship, but it isn't anything you would expect. candor is as close to a god as afhiri gets to personally experience - solar are incredible beings, powerful enough to choose if they even serve a god, completely capable of acting of their own free will... but at no point does afhiri really understand that. not even when candor reveals his status at the monestary, or shows his true form before leaving at the end of the game.. or when candor is literally escorting afhiri to her afterlife. so from afhiri's point of view, candor is a hot tiefling with a thing about authority and order and justice but, yknow its hot. so. but to candor, afhiri is his charge, self appointed, and its purpose on toril has become mentoring her, keeping watch of her, caring for her. candor is an angel who falls for the being its supposed to be impartially guiding to faith, and keep alive.. because she needs help with that. it isn't a health dynamic (like i am won't to do with my afhiri teehees) but it isn't toxic, it's just imbalanced... on one side.. because afhiri isn't aware it's imbalanced.. again i remind it isn't because it's kept from her - it's because she's thick as shit. sorry afhiri.

since candor is a companion for afhiri - i'll share some of his interpersonal relationships. obviously he is antagonistic with gale, but the pair came to a mutual agreement to at least try not to hate each other in front of afhiri, who obviously doesn't enjoy them fighting (except for the fact it's kinda hot. sigh). candor mostly stays to themselves, but has had pleasant conversations with lae'zel, halsin and jaheira, and surprisingly thought-provoking ones with minsc. candor is antagonistic to astarion and shadowheart (for the most part) and friendly with wyll and karlach. candor does not approve of the emperor, or afhiri's growing infatuation with it.

if you ever want an oc to talk about to get me going crazy that isn't afhiri............. your best best is candor.

~~~

lastly we have cirok, also part of afhiri's universe, and becomes a major player in her story in my 3 years later fic.

cirok is a rivener, which is an unearthed arcana homebrew race. riveners are kaortis, or rather the failed or incomplete transformation of person to kaorti. for those unaware, kaorti are made similarly to that for a mindflayer, consider a rivener to be conceptionally similar to a half-illithid in bg3, which is half an incomplete transformation. cirok uses it/they/he pronouns.

its class is phantom rogue, the description is important for you to understand cirok as a character.

Many rogues walk a fine line between life and death, risking their own lives and taking the lives of others. While adventuring on that line, some rogues discover a mystical connection to death itself. These rogues take knowledge from the dead and become immersed in negative energy, eventually becoming like ghosts. Thieves' guilds value them as highly effective information gatherers and spies. Many shadar-kai of the Shadowfell are masters of these macabre techniques, and some are willing to teach this path. In places like Thay in the Forgotten Realms and Karrnath in Eberron, where many necromancers practice their craft, a Phantom can become a wizard's confidant and right hand. In temples of gods of death, the Phantom might work as an agent to track down those who try to cheat death and to recover knowledge that might otherwise be lost to the grave. How did you discover this grim power? Did you sleep in a graveyard and awaken to your new abilities? Or did you cultivate them in a temple or thieves' guild dedicated to a deity of death?

cirok, over the course of my story, acts as gale's right hand. going out and gathering information, finding lost and hidden things, whatever is required of it. they are gale's shadow.

gale uses his magic to keep ciroks condition under check, placing mental barriers in its mind to help retain its humanity and sense of self, keeping a place for them to maintain their resin without interruption or risk, occassionally assisting in the task.

the relationship between cirok and gale is strained and difficult, they fight and argue, they make love with teeth and claws, acting as an outlet of frustration for one another in many ways. but cirok is loyal, doing everything asked of them with no complains.

however afhiri is often there to sweeten the deal, despite not actually needing to - she just enjoys it. the pair never fight, though cirok does find afhiri to be quite exhausting to be around, occassionally reaching points of irritation and annoyance, though rarely expressed due to it understanding afhiri isn't seeking to bring those feelings out, but the exact opposite.

afhiri generally doesn't mediate the fights between gale and cirok, instead choosing instead to stay out of it. they don't understand half of what they're talking about - what causes the bickering. you're likely to see afhiri sitting on gale's desk kicking her legs while the two reach boiling point. the only time afhiri would speak up is if things turned violent, or are about to by reading their body language. afhiri is an expert at talking to people, after all - if anyone is going to stop these two killing each other, it's her.

without cirok, gale's plans of immortality, and eventual godhood with afhiri wouldn't make much progress, potentially it wouldn't find any success without it.

much of cirok is still under works and it requires more development! but i am super interested in cirok as a character, and the ot3 dynamic of afhiri/cirok/gale!!!

~~~

ok that's it. i stop here. LSDKFJ SI HOPE THIS IS DETAILED ENOUGH FOR U ANON!!!!!! I DID MY BEST

[mandi-cakes]

In sharing more of my bg3 Tavs, let's start with my Dark Urge, Loth-sworn drow, Faeryl T'sarran... At level 1: Rogue Assassin

And funny little rant... It's the night of the tiefling party. I finally get the 'cheeky little pup' line from Astarion. However However However Fae speaks to Lae'zel just before ending the night for the tryst in the woods, and she apparently low-key gets chuffed (imo) that my drow didn't acknowledge her githyanki 'you're a badass, please fuck me' energy. So, she talks about how she might share Astarion's bed after the party (cuz my drow 'failed' to seduce the mighty gith). And I'm like, bitch, not if I get there first... A few cheeky/sassy/flirty lines later, Fae bags the Twink™️. He and Faeryl meet in the woods. Shmexy times happen. Next morning, come to find out...Lae'zel did indeed seek out Astarion... This makes me think that he sought her out first, then met up with Fae... Um, how dare?! Outside the game I understand the meaning behind the 'you seemed distant during', however my drow would take it differently in the moment. So. Astarion... YOU DARE GIVE THIS DROW, FAERYL T'SARRAN, 'BETTER THAN THE REST, FUTURE RULER OF ALL', YOUR SLOPPY SECONDS?!

A silly narrative moment with Fae. (I'm sure I have screencaps of Fae's seggsual escapades but atm I can't get to them) To be clear, Fae is not a full-on evil Dark Urge, but not good either. Absolute bastard, if you will.

At one point they do a whoopsie, by having...accidentally...made a Cleric/Path of the Ancients Paladin Shadowheart break her oath by participating in what I guess counts as murder... hehe, good times, good times... After reaching Baldur's Gate, and in retrieving Minsc... Heh, I never realized you can just be granted a temporary bank pass, provided you talk to the available bank teller first and pass the appropriate checks...versus being invisible and sneaky the instant you walk in... Faeryl: -sees that teller is nervous- "Hey pal, you seem agitated... " Teller: "This big guy came in earlier with the boss, seemed kinda weird to me." Faeryl: -100% that rogue- "Hmmm, sounds like a security issue. I'm a bit of a security expert myself, you should let me inspect that..." Teller: "That doesn't sound sus at all. Here's a temporary bank pass, just don't mention my name." Faeryl: "Thank you, friend. You're not at all a terrible judge of character!" -proceeds to rob the place blind-

What a gremlin. By level 11, they becomes a Rogue Assassin/Eldritch Knight Fighter Vampire--after long establishing a romance with Astarion, and helping him ascend.

So dastardly. I'm very proud of how not a good person they are, lol. They are also quite miffed that everyone is only focusing on how Astarion is now a true vampire, but paying no attention to how they're a vamp too. This is discrimination against Drows.

By the end of this run, Faeryl is planted firmly at Vampire Lord Astarion's side, ready to rule Baldur's Gate, and one day, the world--they are also more than happy to fulfill Asty's dark deeds and wants, so long as he's happy to fulfill Fae's.

I'll post more Tavs soon.

[tiamatsfavored]

VALTHERIS THE RED, Tiamat's Chosen, “Blade of the Dragon Queen”, TRUE SOUL

⸻ BACKSTORY: He was raised in Tiamat’s Fortress in Avernus, and trained in both battle and diplomacy, often negotiating with devils on her behalf. Recognizing the potential of the Dragon Cult and its leader, Severin Silrajin, he traveled to the material plane in his beguiling humanoid form, posing as Tiamat’s Chosen. While they shared the goal of bringing Tiamat to the material realm, Valtheris also reveled in the Cult’s adoration and worship.

⸻ RISE OF TIAMAT: Valtheris sees himself as the rightful leader of the Dragon Cult, driven by a fervent desire to liberate Tiamat from Avernus and usher her into the material realm. He seduced Severin, manipulating him to enact his often self-serving commands, including demands for tribute from the cult. Moreover, he uses his charm to sway influential figures, bending them to the Cult's agenda.

After Tiamat's defeat, the Zhentarim took Valtheris prisoner. They bound him to his humanoid form. Valtheris became their slave, used for entertainment or as their guard dog, and his beloved Queen Tiamat has seemingly abandoned him. 

⸻ RISE OF THE ABSOLUTE / BALDUR’S GATE III: In 1492, Valtheris was infected with a True Soul Tadpole and liberated from the clutches of the Zhentarim. Now, he is a devout disciple of the Absolute.

Despite his unwavering devotion, Tiamat remained silent during his torment, so he has readily embraced the Absolute as his new Queen and Goddess; she has offered him the chance to reclaim his former glory… and ascend even higher.

He is particularly fond of True Soul Nere (his favorite toy/lover) and terribly jealous of the Dark Urge.

⸻ COMPANION QUEST: Just an outline. Most is up to discussion to fit our plot!

Recruiting him: You can meet Val in the dungeons of Moonrise Towers, where he takes great pleasure in tormenting a prisoner. He will ask about Nere and what happened at Grymforge; depending on your in-game choices, you may have to convince him that you sided with Nere (Persuasion Check: 15). Even if you pass the persuasion check, he will later appear at your camp if you killed Nere, holding a companion hostage because he discovered the truth. To prevent him from killing the companion (and possibly everyone in the camp), the player can try to reveal the truth about the Absolute (Persuasion Check: 30 / with Minthara: 18). If you sided with Nere and discover that Balthazar has turned him into a zombie, you will meet him near the Mausoleum as he searches for his Drow lover pet. You can explain what happened - Valtheris will seek vengeance. Of course, he won't admit to anyone, least of all himself, how much he cared about Nere; he justifies his thirst for revenge by stating that no one has the right to mess with his belongings. Once again, you can reveal the truth about the Absolute and have him join you (Persuasion Check: 15 / with Minthara: 10).

Breaking his Curse: Arriving in Baldur's Gate, you stumble upon a potential solution to break the curse that binds him to his humanoid form. The method and whether you're the only one to know about it is something to be discussed!

Betraying the party: This depends on our plot, but as far as the main BG3 storyline goes, he will try to betray the party and the Emperor to become the Absolute himself. He is power-hungry, thirsty for vengeance (even against Tiamat!), definitely not a good guy, and he has lost a lot. Once again, this may vary, but to convince him to see reason, the player has to roll a 30 in persuasion.

⸻ CHARACTER SHEET

Basic Information

Name: Valtheris / Chosen of Tiamat / Blade of the Dragon Queen / True Soul Valtheris

Race: Red Dragon (Adult)

Class: Sorcerer (Draconic Bloodline duh) 10 / Paladin (Oath of Conquest) 3 / Fighter 4

Background: Cultist / Tiamat’s Consort

Level: 17

Height: 6.7 ft / 2m

Age: 120 years

Gender: Male

Languages: Common, Undercommon, Draconic, Infernal, Elvish

Abilities

Strength: 20 (+5)

Dexterity: 14 (+2)

Constitution: 18 (+4)

Intelligence: 14 (+2)

Wisdom: 12 (+1)

Charisma: 20 (+5)

HP: 170

AC: 18 (without buffs) DRAGON FORM STATS

Strength: 27 (+8)

Dexterity: 10 (+0)

Constitution: 25 (+7)

Intelligence: 16 (+3)

Wisdom: 13 (+1)

Charisma: 21 (+5)

AC: 19 (without buffs)

HP: 256

He can’t transform into a dragon during the events of Baldur’s Gate III (unless he finds a way to break the curse that binds him to his humanoid form). 

Proficiencies

Skills: Deception (+11), Persuasion (+11), Intimidation (+11), Insight (+7), Arcana (+8)

Equipment

Weapons: Two ruby swords. Can be linked to form a double-bladed spear.

Skills / Weaknesses

Shapechanger: As a red dragon, Valtheris can assume a humanoid form.

Deceptive Beauty: He has advantage on Deception and Persuasion checks when interacting in humanoid form.

Immune to Fire Damage.

Sensitive to Cold: He has disadvantage on Skill Checks and Attack Rolls in cold climates. Cold damage is doubled.

Raised in Avernus: Radiant damage is doubled.

Personality Traits

He uses his beauty and charm to manipulate those around him, seeing them as tools to achieve his goals.

Valtheris believes he is superior, even to other dragons, and will assert his dominance wherever he can.

He will take what he wants, when he wants.

Sadistic, malicious, greedy, power-hungry, vain, impulsive, deceptive, manipulative, seductive.

Ideals (Tiamat's Chosen)

Power – The strong have the right to rule, and Tiamat is the strongest of all.

All hail the Dragon Queen!

He is Tiamat’s Chosen, her favored child, and he will bring her into the material plane at any cost.

Ideals (True Soul)

His loyalty belongs now to the Absolute and he will slaughter heretics in Her name.

Flaws

He sees all non-dragons as inferior and disposable, which can lead to underestimating opponents.

His pride demands constant validation and tribute, leading him to sometimes make rash decisions to assert his superiority.

His vanity and greed make him vulnerable to flattery and bribery.

Appearance

Humanoid Form: A strikingly handsome male with grey-bluish skin adorned with ruby red scales and metallic red markings. His eyes are vibrant amber with an infernal glow to them, cat-slit pupils, his hair is long and ruby red. He sometimes keeps his dragon tail and gilded horns. When he operates in “undercover” , he often takes the form of a male elf with long platinum hair and golden eyes.

Style: Revealing, luxurious, lots of gold and jewelry.

Dragon Form: An imposing Red Dragon with ruby / scarlet scales and glowing golden eyes.

[baronmpontmercy]

ooohhhh alone for sacha & break for demi? :333

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

For Alexander, introvert verging on loner that he is, 'alone' has two separate definitions. One is in the most literal sense when he's just by himself, of his own accord, in the knowledge that he can stop being alone. And it's this kind of alone that he finds freeing. Times like this are when he's more likely to do things like playing his harp or fife (he's far too self conscious as a musician to really do it around anyone else unless he really really trusts them). He uses those times to recharge the social battery, which is essential to him as someone who has to literally turn on the charm when out and about.

Alone in the context being truly alone, with no one there for him and no one to turn to, is something he's terrified of. He's experienced it before, as a child, and in the worst of his previous relationship. He hates being lonely, hates the isolation of it. He is a person who hates being helpless, and he never feels more helpless than being completely alone. Or even feeling completely alone. And honestly, he's not good at dealing with loneliness, because one of his defense mechanisms is to retreat deeper into himself, which only exacerbates it all. It's a vicious circle that someone will need to give a physical helping hand to get him out of.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

In both his iterations (i.e DnD proper and BG3), Amadeus has moments of complete breakdown. In his DnD lore, it's directly after his fall as an aasimar (I think finding out you are celestial and a demigod through a dramatic fall from grace and your celestial parent essentially telling you to fuck off will do that). It's not pretty, he's an absolute mess during and after, because he's at the foot of the mountain and it's going to be a long arduous climb before anything even starts to get better for him, but he's going to do it all the same. It was like an epiphany for him, a sudden sharp hit of guilt, and grief, and the knowledge that he wants to be better and has consistently failed himself and those around him. One who did see him was the goddess he swore himself to, Strix, and out of the grief and the anger and disgust from himself was born his drive for redemption and thus, his paladin oath.

the bg3 side is a bit nebulous at the moment because I'm still early days durge lore, but my co-player and thus co-writer in our playthrough and I have planned a moment for him much later on in the story, and it surrounds fragments of memories coming back, and the realisation that he was an active, instrumental part in the destruction of his (elven) family, and that even though those who survived still have love for him they will never truly forgive him for it, even with a paladin's grace and redemption arc.

[thedragonagelesbian]

For the bg3 asks: 24, 9, and 44.

(Also, did I miss you answering my birthday asks? I just want to make sure, I don’t miss it,)

lol you didn't miss it im just... still sitting on the birthday ask like a month later... i should. finish that.

[some Act 2 & 3 spoilers]

9. Do you have a favorite member of the Tiefling Refugees? Is it the same as your Character's?

I love so many of them, how to pick just one... I think both Cyrus and I would pick Dammon for helping Karlach (and the owlbear stuff at the end of Act 3 :3), I also personally adore Arabella and her story throughout the other two acts. Real representation for girls making potions in their backyards moment.

I also have. So many thoughts about Cyrus and Zevlor's relationship come Act 2. I've been churning them over since finishing Act 2 and still haven't fully solidified anything, but... the former paladin who was tempted by the power and glory required to protect his people? Talking to the oathbreaker who is on the slow path to accepting the limitations of his protectiveness? When Cyrus tells Zevlor that's not what your people needed, they've been able to survive without you, I think there's a moment of self-reflection of like... the thing that the people who love him need from him is not always power or perfection.

(Also, there's an oathbreaker dialogue line to accuse Zevlor of submitting to the Absolute out of pure selfishness, which I did not pick, but I'm also fascinated by it...)

24. Was your illithid tadpole empowered by anything in Act 1? If so, how does your Character feel about that?

The only power I ever considered for Cyrus was 'Transfuse Health' because... you know. It's Cyrus. I think under the right narrative circumstances, he could be pushed to it, like if the other characters went down/died more often. Maybe shadow sorcerer Cyrus will be more tempted by it, as a version of Cyrus with more shades of post-Kirkwall 'what are you gonna do? stab me?' energy & general nihilism toward his own body.

44. Pick one-- let's go with 39. What does your Character think of Raphael?

Mostly because I don't think I've shared this pic of Cyrus looking furious & bloody on his first visit to the House of Hope

I think this was Cyrus' first time dealing with or even thinking about devils/the lower planes (he hadn't even met Mizora yet, as I recruited Karlach p late into Act 1). Even Cyrus has enough awareness to not immediately trust an entity of evil incarnate. Still, his rejection of Raphael's offer was less a moral stance against devils and more rooted in his own pride and self-confidence. Who needs a devil's bargain when you're Cyrus Hawke? You can fix anything!

His opinion turns distinctly negative as time goes on, first with how Raphael treats Astarion in Act 2 and then meeting Hope in Act 3. At the end of everything, Cyrus was more than happy to smite the shit out of him ('punish divinity' oh you think your little con save is gonna do anything? bitch...)

I love this screenshot of Cyrus and Astarion both being very Done with Raphael in their own way...

Still, a lad can dream of what could've happened if Cyrus were ever desperate and foolish enough to strike a bargain with Raphael, because I'm not above a little character degradation/corruption arc. Like if Raphael pounced while Cyrus was still reeling and vulnerable from breaking his oath......... much to think about

[idlenight]

3, 27, 35 for bg3 oc(s) of choice 👀

3 - Has your Character been using their illithid powers?

Syleth has... complicated feelings on the ilithid powers. He has definitely used it on the goblins, because it would result in the most surefire and safest outcome. He is initially also somewhat enamoured by the dream visitor and was easily swayed by Astarion's talking points. (They're already cursed with this fate, might as well make the most of it).

But he also feels like it's wrong to mess with someone's mind like that, so it's morals vs utility.

Syleth may have taken one or two extra tadpoles, but not much more than that. Absorbing them feels visceral.

27 - Who ended up in your Character's most used party?

Syleth mostly travels with Astarion, Gale, and Shadowheart/Karlach in his party. Shadowheart and Karlach can be switched between each other but Gale and Astarion are pretty solidified in the party. Gameplay wise I think they create a great synergy with my Paladin/Sorcerer build. It helps that Syleth also happens to get along the best with them as people.

35 - Has your Character done anything that they regret in Act 1?

The smaller regret would by giving Mayrina the wand. In game this is a decision I did while controlling another character because I figured messing with life/death would break my Oath of Ancients lmao. So Syleth regrets letting that happen and just watching on with disdain.

But mainly Syleth regrets everything that happened in the Githyanki Creche. He regrets not letting Lae'zel join the party earlier (the way she talked about the tiefling that captured her created some initial disdain). He hates that he let Lae'zel go into the zaith'isk first because it hurt her. He hated that he agreed to go into the prism, it would spell certain doom for them if he didn't but he also did not want to hurt the dream visitor. He hates that they were forced to kill everyone to get out.

There's a lot of guilt around the creche. Syleth holds onto that githyanki egg like a lifeline because of it, feeling like it's the only way he can atone for what happened.

Thank you for the ask Glitch ✨❤️

The questions are from the Act 1 BG3 ask game!