bluhours - Tumblr blog

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀* EVERY CORNER OF THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED, AND I KNOW YOU SAID THAT WE'RE NOT TALKING ; BUT I MISS YOU, I'M SORRY.

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HAVEN'T I GIVEN ENOUGH ? HAVEN'T I GIVEN ENOUGH ? HAVEN'T I GIVEN ENOUGH ? HAVEN'T I GIVEN ENOUGH ?

⠀ ⠀* your childhood dog is alive. your dead best friend wants to get coffee. you have been kind and good. there is nothing chasing you. you can sleep.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀♥ MATTHEW CHOI + WEB - WEAVE

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⠀ ⠀you’re just embarrassed 'cause i was like , y' know . . . this amazing thing , like your special creation or something, and you don’t like who i am now !

BEAUTIFUL BOY ( 2021 )

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YOU'RE A MOTHER, MA. YOU'RE ALSO A MONSTER. BUT SO AM I — WHICH IS WHY I CAN'T TURN AWAY FROM YOU.

“ i was always hungry for love. just once, i wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love i couldn't take anymore. JUST ONCE. ”

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀★ AUGUST HWANG + WEB WEAVE

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀★    230726 NO  SPIN 스핀 없음  MINJUN JAESUNG 'MAD CITY'  @  DOOMSDAY : THE TOUR , DAY 1 IN SEOUL

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀↺ NO SPIN ( 스핀 없음 ) - WHISPERS OF WARMTH @인기가요 INKIGAYO

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀matt hooks his arms around august's bicep, trying to get as close as physically possible to the actor despite practically laying across his lap. he leans into the hands tenderly touching his face, trying to soak up every ounce of august's warmth and affection. when august thumbs over his lip, matthew has to resist every single urge in his very being not to nip at his fingertips — ultimately failing as matt does just that, tongue laving over the pad of august's thumb. ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀a small frown tugs at the corner of matt's lips, looking up at august with a look that can only be described as textbook puppy dog eyes. ❝ you should eat something too, auggie . . . another americano is not food. ❞ though any sort of plea dies on matt's lips when august kisses him, melting further against him and letting out a content little HUM. ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀he lets out a little noise of confusion when august speaks up, eyebrows knitted together before he looks to the benches a few spaces away from there — where, sure enough, they ARE being watched. matt had been so absorbed in this little bubble with august he hadn't even realized they were in public. and that august was an easily recognizable public figure on top of that. discomfort sits heavy on his stomach now, not liking the aspect of being recorded for all of twitter to see later on — and he lets august tug him up to his feet, crowding himself against the actor's back in an attempt to hide from prying eyes. matt doesn't think he'll ever get used to this part.

august stresses about A LOT of things , but airports aren't one of them . he's probably spent a quarter of his life in the sky ; their only plans for tomorrow anyways were to laze about and recoup from their quick stint in los angeles . and besides , he's got people to hash out the flight details for him . if his assistants can't figure it out , he'll just book them a hotel and charter a jet out tomorrow . for now , august is perfectly content just sitting here with matt in his lap . neck cranes downwards at the younger's beckon , lips already pulling into a smile before he's even fully fixed his eyes on him . " of course , darling . i'm sure we can find something of the sort in the terminal . " and he doesn't have a problem dropping the august hwang card to get it off - menu if he has to . limb stretches out to caress matt's face , tenderly taking hold of his chin and thumbing over his lesser lip . " i was actually just thinking that i needed another americano , you little mind reader . " august uses his grip to coax him closer , meeting him halfway with a kiss . " might be good to move around too . " he mutters against his lips . " i swear i can FEEL someone recording us right now . " and he's right , pulling away and nodding discreetly at a teenage girl with her phone angled towards them just right . august has been doing this for so long that he's developed a sixth sense . " ... c'mon . " hand drops from matt's chin down to his hand , tugging at him to stand when he does . " oh --- and your pills are in my bag , honey , don't worry . "

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀it's nice to pretend sometimes — like when it's the early hours of the morning and minjun can pretend they're all just some friends that live together, trying to get through adulthood and making memories along the way. minjun wouldn't trade their hard work for anything, but he'd be lying if he said he never thought about what it would be like to just . . . live with taemin. to not have to overthink if a camera caught a miniscule display of affection in the background of a vlog, or the backlash that would surely come if dispatch were to reveal the true nature of the two no spin members. it'd be nice to be able to hold taemin's hand without having to put too much thought behind it. ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀taemin melts into his body, and minjun finds it every bit endearing he possibly can. he also realizes something very important as taemin tells him he loves him — and that's the fact that minjun realizes he doesn't actually care if dispatch were to wake up tomorrow and drop these photos onto the internet for the public to pick apart, because minjun loves him too. ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀minjun looks down at him with a smile stretching across his lips, hands coming up to cradle taemin's face in his hands. the pads of his thumbs glide across taemin's cheekbones, and minjun thinks that like THIS — warm, pliant, barefaced and wearing some old ratty clothes — minjun finds him the most beautiful. ❝ my sweet boy, ❞ he mumbles softly, pressing another kiss to the corner of taemin's mouth before pulling away. ❝ i love you too . . . c ' mon, let's go and get your ice cream. ❞

taemin is quick to respond to minjun's beckon , instantly backtracking to stand beside him . he thinks nothing of it --- figures maybe the stain is more noticeable somehow out here and minjun is going to try and get it off ... or maybe one of his infamous sasaengs was waiting outside the mightee one building to catch a glimpse . just the thought of that makes his skin crawl , subconsciously inching even closer to the elder . god , why did he even think that ? now he's craning his neck to see behind him , looking for whatever minjun's looking for . but then he's telling taemin to pull his mask down , and he's a little confused , giving him a funny , quizzical look . he still does it , of course ; taemin trusts minjun more than anything or anyone ever . he's NOT AT ALL expecting to be kissed right now , right here , in the middle of the sidewalk , like they're normal people that can do this sort of thing . taemin's so shocked that he just stands there , completely melting into minjun's touch . dazed and happy , he doesn't even chase after the kiss like he usually does --- it's a wonder that he doesn't just turn into a heaping pile of lovesick goo right there on the pavement . taemin's all giggly now , arms wrapped tightly around minjun's torso , leaning his full body weight onto him , chin digging into his chest as he gazes upwards . a kiss in the middle of seoul initiated fully by minjun ... it feels like something out of a dream . " i love you . " his eyes glimmer , giving minjun a squeeze . " ... that was really romantic , junnie . " taemin giggles , grabbing a fistful of minjun's jacket , continuing in a sing - song tone , " you have a crush on me ! "

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀the airport buzzes with activity even as it nears three am, especially with the news of the flight back to toronto being delayed for the fourth time due to inclement weather conditions. matt's not all too bothered, and while severely bored, they're not really in any rush to actually get back home. the fingers currently scratching at his scalp makes it unbelievably hard to be upset about the turn of events, eyes all but glazed over as matt sinks deeper into august's body. how could matt possibly be mad about having to stay in this chair any longer while august is petting him and cooing in his ear ? ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀he watches people stomping up to the customer service desk, and matthew can vaguely hear them yelling at the poor woman behind the counter that looks as tired as he currently feels. ❝ auggie, ❞ matt's tongue feels heavy in his mouth, tipping his head back against the actor's chest to peer up at him. ❝ can we go find something to eat ? ❞ matt gives him an infamous pout, pulling himself out of the warmth of august's arms to twist onto his knees on the bench they're sharing, looking directly at the other man. ❝ i need to fuck up a sandwich right now. do you have my lactaid pills ? i think only a bacon grilled cheese is going to satiate me right now. ❞

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀taemin's giggles are nothing but pure music to minjun's ears, a wide smile splitting the elder's face in two. yeah, he's definitely missed him all day. no wonder his day had felt so dull without the maknae at his side to pester. ❝ and i'm sure there were countless other's that i don't know about. i don't know if you realize this, but i basically raised you, and i know every single little detail about your life. not mean, just truthful. but hey, that's what you guys keep me around for right ? ❞

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀minjun smiles fondly when taemin takes off ahead, hands tucked comfortably into the pockets of his sweats as they traverse through their apartment complex. when they get down to the foyer, minjun pulls the mask he wore to the company building from his pocket and slips it back on, but not before he can look at taemin with a smile so wide it makes his eyes crinkle up at the corners. ❝ brat, ❞ he breathes out, minjun shaking his head before following taemin outside.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀it's a bit colder than he anticipated, and minjun believes it won't be too much longer before they're seeing seoul's first snow. he should've made taemin put on a jacket before they stepped out, now that he thinks about it. taemin slows down considerably, easily falling in step with the leader, and minjun slows right down to a complete STOP in turn. ❝ c ' mere, jagiya. ❞ minjun reaches out for him — he always is, minjun thinks he searches for taemin is every crevice of the world.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀there's a quick glance around their surroundings, before minjun lands on the fact that he just doesn't care if any peering eyes ( or cameras ) happen to catch the intimate moment between them. his hand come up to tug at his mask, letting it hook around his chin before urging taemin to do the same. minjun smiles upon seeing the younger's mouth, even if he'd only seen it moments prior to putting their masks on. minjun leans in to catch taemin in a sweet kiss, fingers grasping his jaw and holding the boy in place. when he pulls back, the space between them is almost non - existent, a hair's breath away as minjun's thumb strokes over taemin's cheekbone. ❝ i pinky promise i'm not just saying it . . . i miss you when i know you're only in the other room. i miss you when you're just on the other side of a stage. i miss you even when i have to close my eyes but you're still laying right beside me. ❞

minjun's shoving, but taemin's giggling. maybe a little too delighted at the reaction to his gross little jest. he tucks his free hand under minjun's arm, curling his grip around his bicep and CLINGING as they stepped out the door together. "--- that was one time!" ... that minjun knows of, at least. hyunwoo had promised not to tell about the night him and jae put way too much water in the pot and it boiled over. jaesung's puppy dog eyes had saved them. taemin's pouting now as he looks up at his boyfriend, "you know i'm no good at cooking. you're being mean, hyung." his feelings aren't actually hurt, but minjun's been gone all day: taemin has a backlog of brattiness that he's got to get out of his system. he huffs playfully and tears his arm away from minjun's, taking longer strides so he's a little bit further ahead of him. taemin yanks his mask up as he heads out the front entrance of the building --- he'd rather NOT be recognized on this outing. all he really wants is for minjun to catch up to him and give him attention... wants to walk with their fingers intertwined down a back alley where nobody can see them. really, in a perfect world, they'd be able to walk hand in hand, maskless, down the most populous street in seoul without a worry in the world. but the world isn't perfect. taemin's pace slows, giving minjun the chance to reach him, tucking his hands neatly into the front pocket of his own hoodie. his jovial spirit has escaped him now, falling into step beside the elder quietly. "you promise, right?" he pipes up, "... that you always miss me? you're not just SAYING that?" he turns to look at him walking beside him, eyes glittering in the dim glow of the streetlights. "pinky promise?"

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀jiwoon silently asks himself why he didn't just head to minjun's room, and ends up chalking it up to not knowing what he could find in there — instead of the fact that he was subconsciously searching for hwichan and hoping to find him here. he wanted company, but only from one individual ; no matter how displeased hwichan always seemed to see him.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀jiwoon can be a lot, this he knows. whether they believe him or not, but the rapper wishes nothing but the best for his group. at first he saw them as an already lost cause — their numbers had been critically low, and when jiwoon studied their most recent comeback in preparation of joining their ranks, the look behind their eyes was EMPTY. like they had already accepted the looming threat of disbandment. the rapper had joined with low hopes and even lower expectations, that he'd get juggled to another failing group and he'd never properly get his foot in the door of the industry — but what came instead of cut thru u was an INSTANT global success. jiwoon can only assume hwichan resents him for this fact. he wishes he could tell hwichan just how talented and essential he is to no spin.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀the idol stands paralyzed in the doorway, a deer caught in headlights before hwichan gives him explicit permission. a grin spreads easily over his lips then, taking the steps towards hwichan's bed and easily making himself at home against the headboard. ❝ hwi - yah , ❞ he starts dramatically, because everything jiwoon does has to be dramatic, ❝ they were using MY bed ! hyung has his own room all to himself, and a double bed — so WHY were they using my shitty ass bottom bunk ? ! ❞ he's kinda over it at this point, only because he's seen a lot worse out of the two. whatever, he'll just make taemin change his sheets and make him pay for dinner next time they go out. after a beat, jiwoon looks up at hwichan sat across from him, noodles shoved into the pocket of his cheek, studying the singer. pushing down the food, jiwoon speaks again. ❝ thank you, by the way . . . for letting me stay. ❞

hwichan had retreated to his room a long time ago --- managed to slip past the seven or so other people in the living room unnoticed on his way out (and back in!) to the convenience store for a quick snack. guess it really did help to be the aloof one in the group. he won't lie: he does like taking part in shenanigans with the others... but that was accompanied by a big SOMETIMES, and today was just not that day. he's happy to be lost in the serenity of his room. it's positioned far enough away that the jovial yelling coming from jaesung is muffled enough that he can mostly ignore it. once he turns on some background music, it's almost like he's totally alone in the dorm --- a rare, but TREASURED occurrence. but the dreamy facade of an empty house all comes toppling down the second jiwoon steps through the door. his gaze fixes on the other man immediately, eyes narrowing as if to say what the hell are you doing in here? nothing actually escapes him though --- partly because he's feeling nice and partly because he'd shoved a handful of chips into his mouth just before jiwoon had entered the room. hwichan waves towards his bed, giving him the go ahead as he finishes chewing, hand carding through his hair to try and make himself look at least slightly more presentable. not that he cares what jiwoon thinks of him or how he looks. that would be RIDICULOUS. "... i feel oddly intrigued to ask what 'in use' means, but considering the fact that you share a room with taemin, i think i might already know the answer." his features soften now, cracking a faint smile, giving jiwoon a discreet once over. "you can stay as long as you want." he pauses for a beat, pointing at the dish in his hands. "but spill that on my bed and you're a dead man."

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀there's a shriek from the living room of their dorm, and jiwoon grinds his teeth as he curls over the bowl of japchae he's currently nursing. jaesung shoves at chanyeol as they fight over a round of mario kart on the big screen, hyunwoo getting caught in the crossfire which just leads to more noise than necessary. now there's cheating accusations getting thrown around, insu's getting involved, and jiwoon just wants a bit of peace and quiet for once. normally he wouldn't mind when friends come over for some well - needed release, to just let go and relax — but today is just . . . it's too much, to put it easy. he woke up with a splitting headache and just overall grumpy. there's too many people in HIS house right now.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀jiwoon grabs his bowl and stands to retreat to his room, grumbling all the way but knowing that solace was just a few steps away — and he can't even say he's surprised when he pushes the door open to his and taemin's room, only to find the blonde pinned down by their leader into the mattress of HIS bed instead of the top bunk. jiwoon curses at them, launching one of taemin's plushies at minjun's back before promptly slamming the door shut. is nothing sacred here ? !

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀eyes land upon hwichan and jaesung's shut door at the end of the hall, the rapper letting out a soft huff before letting his feet carry himself to the room. jiwoon doesn't knock, honestly not even expecting anybody to be in here — he hasn't seen hwichan all day and had figured he had left for the company building, or . . . whatever it is that hwichan does.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀jiwoon's eyes widen gently when he sees hwichan sat at his computer, and before he can just leave as silently as he entered, hwichan has already caught him. holding up his bowl with a sheepish smile on his face, jiwoon nods towards the singer's bed. ❝ sorry, i just . . . i just needed somewhere quiet. and my room is uh . . . it's in use right now. can i sit ? ❞

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀the leader lets out a small and content hum, arms circling taemin's criminally small waist and pulling him in as close as physically possible. he bumps the side of his head against taemin's, not really wanting to think about the looming date of his mandatory enlistment either. ❝ i'm still here, sweet boy. you don't have to miss me yet. ❞ one of minjun's hands comes up to rake his nails over taemin's scalp, both out of instinct and to soothe the boy's mutterings.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀if anybody had ruined the moment, it had certainly been taemin, not minjun. his nose wrinkles up in disgust, lips pulled together at taemin's little attempt at a joke. ❝ you are so fucking vile for that. ❞ minjun only retaliates by shoving taemin away, though not letting him go for too long before he's lacing their fingers again. ❝ you have no idea what it's like to be a father. do you think i felt fulfilled when i walked into the dorm and you and jaesung had tried to make bulgogi on one of those little portable grill - tops, and almost lit the dorm on fire ? to the point the entire building had to evacuate ? or when i had to tell you to stop calling jiwoon your bottom brother ? ❞ dubbed as the dad of no spin mainly because of his age and position in the team, minjun finds that he wouldn't trade them for the world — even if sometimes he felt like he was prematurely going grey because of his members.

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀minjun bumps his shoulder against taemin's as they walk towards the front door, a lopsided smile on the leader's face. ❝ meetings for the most part. then me and hyung just kinda worked in the studio on some potential things for the album . . . maybe i did. maybe i didn't. you'll just have to wait and see, baby . . . and yes — i always miss you, even when i close my eyes. ❞

minjun's question elicits a small whine from taemin, lesser lip jutting out in a pathetic little pout. "i don't even wanna think about it." his voice is nothing more than a mere mutter when he says it, inching closer to minjun until he's pressed right up against him, chest to chest, nose tucked into the crook of the taller's neck. taemin prefers to forget all about the fact that minjun begins his military duty in just a few months. arms wrap tightly around minjun's waist, clinging as if minjun would just up and disappear if he ever let go. "i miss you already." the words are muffled against the skin of minjun's neck. there's a feral corner in his brain telling him to bite him while he's so close, but he refrains, choosing instead to push away from him at the mention of the stain. "you ruined the moment!" taemin shoves at his shoulder once more, giving a fond roll of his eyes. honestly, the subject change is welcomed--- thinking about minjun leaving always sends him down a sad slope. he takes minjun's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "c'mon, gotta take our kids out for a walk. so hard being a father, but so fulfilling." taemin jests, pulling minjun out of the room and towards the front door. he's bubbling over with excitement now, like he always is, "what did you do today? any new songs? were they about me? did you miss me? say yes."

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⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀the smile minjun wears is nothing short of pure adoration, reaching out to playfully squeeze the younger member's cheek before he has the chance to pull away. minjun doesn't believe he would either way, basking in any of the attention the leader gives him and taking it with stride. ❝ it's a little bit true, no ? ❞ he honest to god giggles when taemin shoves at his shoulder, warmth spreading through his body as the light sound spills past his lips. he can't believe he tried to deny them of this, pretending it never happened. minjun doesn't think him and taemin could ever be anything other than partners in every sense of the word. ❝ has it really been that long ? you were just a baby then . . . i mean, you still are, but you're my baby. you'll always be my baby. ❞

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀a light hum is quick to follow when taemin's fingers glide through his hair, recently dyed black but still a bit fried from the bleachings. but the nice moment doesn't last long, taemin's fingers tugging on a few strands gathered in his fist. ❝ don't, i'm worried it might fall out. would you still love me if i was bald ? ❞ a gasp then, looking down at taemin with a look of realization. ❝ are you still gonna love me when i have to shave my head ? ❞

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀when taemin returns to him clad in his hoodie, a laugh is stifled behind minjun's lips. ❝ you've got a cum stain, ❞ minjun points to the crusted aforementioned stain on the pocket of the hoodie, stupid grin playing the corner of his lips. ❝ that's what you get for digging around in dirty laundry. don't worry, i'm pretty sure it's yours anyway. ❞

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀❝ lead the way, darling. wherever you go, i'll follow. ❞

beep boop

"that's not true!" his protest is accompanied by a small pout, arms crossing over his chest defiantly. taemin always wants to do nice things with minjun, even when they don't involve snacks of any sort. besides... "i've been using it since i was twelve. get it right, mister." he's fully stepped into the room now, close enough that he can give minjun's shoulder a playful little shove. it's hard to believe that they've known each other that long--- that taemin has been glued to his side for upwards of ten years now. he'd be happy to stay with minjun for ten more years, and then ten more after that, and ten more after that... his pout has dissipated now, making way for a fond smile to settle on his features. hand comes to rest at the nape of minjun's neck, inching upwards to comb gently through his hair. "we can stay in if you're too tired." the petting motion stops suddenly, and he's leaning down to kiss at the corner of his lips. digits curl into his hair once more to give it a small tug before stepping away from minjun and towards his closet instead. taemin shuffles through the clothes like they're his own (and they might as well be with how often he insists that they share), lingering for a little while longer once he gets to the several hoodies hung up neatly together. his nose wrinkles up, obviously unsatisfied with the selection in front of him, and side-steps towards the laundry basket, fishing out a pre-worn hoodie to slip on instead. it smells like minjun. there's no greater comfort than that. taemin turns back towards his boyfriend, now draped in his hoodie, sweater paws on full display as he stretches his arms out towards him. "don't forget your wallet." he's joking. sorta.

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*   MINJUN  &  TAEMIN   !  

          minjun’s had a long day.  taemin knows this:  he’s been whining nonstop about his boyfriend’s absence since this morning (much to hwichan’s despair).  he’d slipped out for schedules before taemin had even woken up.  it must really suck, he thinks, to have your day crammed with meetings and studio sessions when the rest of the team has the day off… guess that’s the price of being the leader of the world’s biggest boyband, huh?

         he’d missed him.  not na minjun— leader of no spin, producer and performer extraordinaire—  but just minjun.  taemin wishes he could’ve spent the day lazing about with him.  he wishes they could put a pause on the idol life to just… live.  taemin thinks he’d give anything to be able to just be like any other couple. 

          taemin’s stood just outside his room now, and he’s got half the mind to just go back to his own and let minjun relax, but he’s knocking and poking his head in before he can think twice about pestering him.  “are you busy?”  he pushes the door open just a smidge wider, leaning his head against the frame, eyes flitting over minjun in a quick once-over.  taemin could just melt into a puddle right then and there. he’s so handsome.  his cheeks feel all hot now, and he knows he’s blushing over minjun just standing there, but he can’t quite help it.  “do you want to go on a walk with me?”  it’s late, but that means it’s dark out.  they can be more inconspicuous that way.  maybe he could even hold his hand if they take a back street.  “… definitely not a ploy to get you to buy me ice cream from the convenience store, by the way.”  but that’d definitely be a bonus. 

          minjun  is  th  first  line  of  defense  when  it  comes  to  no  spin,  as  not  only  their  leader  but  as  their  producer  as  well  —  which  means  when  comeback  season  starts  to  rear  it’s  ugly  head,  minjun  is  the  first  one  to  be  notified  of  preparations.  he’s  worked  on  some  music  to  showcase  to  hyunwoo,  as  well  as  the  chairman  of  mightee  one  —  before  he’s  being  whisked  away  to  meeting  after  meeting  about  the  new  concepts  for  the  next  mini  album,  what  their  schedules  will  look  like  in  the  next  coming  months  ;  really,  it’s  minjun’s  job  to  just  sit  there  and  listen,  and  give  his  opinion  on  where  he  thinks  each  member  will  shine  in  the  concept.  the  other  members  will  join  him  in  a  recap  meeting  in  two  days  time,  but  minjun  would’ve  been  lying  if  he  said  he  didn’t  feel  jealous  when  he  walked  out  of  a  still  peacefully  sleeping  dorm  at  six  in  the  morning.

          minjun’s  only  just  sat  down  in  his  desk  chair  when  taemin  pokes  into  his  room,  baseball  cap  tossed  carelessly  onto  the  edge  of  the  bed,  and  he  watches  as  it  tumbles  onto  his  floor.  whatever,  he’ll  pick  it  up  later.  ❝  no,  i  just  got  back.  do  you  need  something,  sweetheart  ?  ❞  even  when  minjun’s  brain  feels  like  it’s  leaking  out  of  his  ears,  the  leader  is  more  than  willing  to  do  or  give  taemin  anything  he  wants.  but  a  walk  sounds  nice,  especially  when  he’s  been  crammed  in  a  stuffy  office  and  then  a  stuffy  studio  all  day.  ❝  you  only  ever  want  to  do  nice  things  with  me  when  you  want  me  to  buy  you  snacks.  you’ve  been  using  this  tactic  since  you  were  fourteen.  ❞  a  teasing  lilt  in  his  tone,  but  the  fond  smile  on  his  face  betrays  any  faux  annoyance  he  was  trying  to  portray.  

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*   MINJUN  &  TAEMIN  !

          THE  ONLY  TIME  TAEMIN  LEFT  HIS  ROOM  WAS  FOR  CONTRACTUALLY  OBLIGATED  APPEARANCES  .   he  was  still  an  idol  ,   after  all  ,   and  even  if  he  didn’t  really  feel  like  it  ,   he  knew  he  had  to  set  his  emotions  aside  and  be  professional  .   this  was  his  JOB   —   the  thing  he’d  flipped  his  entire  life  upside  down  for   —   despite  how  stupid  he  felt  at  the  moment  for  chasing  something  as  trivial  as  a  dream  .   maybe  his  father  had  been  right  all  along   ;    taemin  could’ve  spared  himself  the  heartbreak  if  he  NEVER  decided  to  come  to  korea  to  train  in  the  first  place  .

IT’S  NOT  EXACTLY  EASY  TO  AVOID  NA  MINJUN  .   he’s  one  giant  ,   sparkling  supernova  .   but  taemin  manages  just  fine   —    better  than  he  thought  he  would  ,   actually  .   all  he  can  feel  when  he  looks  at  his  leader  is  pure  numbness  .   he  cried  it  all  out  that  first  night  in  jiwoon’s  bunk  .   now  he’s  just  empty  .    empty  ,   empty  ,   empty   :    his  chest   ,    the  smiles  he  plasters  on  for  the  cameras  ,   and  his  HEAD  too  (  according  to  minjun  )  .   it’s  the  only  reason  he’s  been  able  to  keep  his  cool  these  past  few  days  ,   but  that  doesn’t  mean  it’s  not  exhausting  to  act  like  he’s  just  FINE  .   this  four  day  break  was  a  relief  .

OR  MAYBE  HE  SPOKE  TOO  SOON  .   the  rapping  on  the  door  ,   followed  by  HIS  voice  calling  out  his  name  ,   sends  a  pang  through  his  chest  .   the  first  time  he’s  really  felt  anything  in  days  .   maybe  if  he  ignores  him  ,   he’ll  just  go  away  .   taemin’s  not  even  sure  he  wants  an  apology  anyways   ;   minjun  can’t  take  back  what  he  said  …   but  curiosity  killed  the  cat  ,   and  he’s  making  the  move  to  poke  his  head  out  to  see  who  this  SOMEBODY  was  .   digits  are  curled  tightly  around  the  door   —    the  only  thing  between  him  and  minjun  now   —   and  he’s  not  keen  on  opening  it  any  wider  .   he’s  protecting  himself  from  another  ,  FATAL  blow  to  the  heart  .   eyes  are  focused  solely  on  the  cat  ,   purposely  avoiding  the  man  stood  in  front  of  him  now  .    “   i’ll  take  her  .  ”    not  you  .   surely  ,   minjun  can  read  between  the  lines  .   he’s  not  the  stupid  one  .   hands  jut  out  expectantly  ,   ready  for  this  interaction  to  be  over  with  just  as  soon  as  it  started  .

          *  it’s  not  easy  seeing  taemin  in  this  state,  made  even  worse  when  he  has  nobody  to  blame  but  himself.  when  it’s  comments  online  that  dig  at  the  youngest,  minjun  can  try  his  best  to  lift  his  spirits  and  pull  him  out  of  his  funk  —  now,  minjun  is  truly  no  better  than  the  people  on  twitter.  how  does  he  even  go  about  an  apology  ?  he’s  not  sure  taemin  even  wants  to  hear  him  out  ;  but  he  had  to  try,  at  the  very  least.

          *  minjun  stands  up  a  bit  straighter  when  taemin  actually  answers  the  door,  not  expecting  to  have  the  maknae  actually  poke  his  head  out.  caught  off  guard,  minjun  doesn’t  even  have  anything  rehearsed  —  and  he  proceeds  to  stumble  through  his  next  words.  ❝  i , um ,  i  brought  you  that  banana  milk.  and  the  strawberry  milk  too,  cause  i  know  you  like  both . . .  and  your  honey  butter  chips . . .  the  cheongpodo  candy . . .  i’ve  got  cookies  too,  i  just  kinda . . .  i  just  grabbed  a  bunch  of  your  favourites.  i  know  you  haven’t  left  your  room  so  i  wanted  to  make  sure  you  were  stocked  up . . .  ❞  minjun  awkwardly  holds  up  the  bag  in  his  other  hand,  still  trying  to  balance  jinji  in  the  other.  almost  like  he  remembered  what  he  came  here  for,  minjun  swallows  the  lump  in  his  throat  before  passing  the  calico  into  taemin’s  waiting  arms.  jinji  lets  out  a  purr,  pushing  her  face  against  taemin’s  chin  and  happy  for  his  affection.

          *  here’s  his  opening,  looking  past  taemin  into  his  and  jiwoon’s  room  while  he’s  occupied  with  the  feline.  ❝  can  i  put  these  on  your  desk  ?  ❞  while  there  is  usually  no  waiting  for  an  answer  and  minjun  would  just  invite  himself  into  taemin’s  room,  and  vice  versa  ;  minjun  still  lingers,  not  wanting  to  intrude  into  taemin’s  space  more  than  he  already  has.  ❝  i  don’t  expect  you  to  forgive  me,  but . . .  for  whatever  it’s  worth,  taemin - ah . . .  i  am  sorry.  what  i  said  was  completely  uncalled  for.  ❞